Chapter 2: Day One, Take 2 - Part 2
Inspired by interactions in the Hotel California Panfandom RPG, this is a joint project between two women who adored the idea of Jack recruiting Buffy to Torchwood. Perhaps they adored it a little too much, but that remains to be seen.
Title: So Buffy Met Jack...
Authors: Amy tainted_crimson & Sarah magicom
Crossover: Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Torchwood
Spoilers: Through Buffy / Angel series finales and Torchwood Series 2 / Doctor Who Series 4.
Rating: FR-15
Disclaimer: Everything is owned by Joss/Fox and Russell/BBC!
Summary: After spending a few weeks trapped in an extratemporal holding cell together, Captain Jack Harkness offered Buffy Summers a job at Torchwood. And how could she ever turn down an offer like that?
Chapters: 01
DAY ONE, TAKE 2 - Part 2
Jack turned and sat at his desk. Whatever Ianto felt about what Jack was sure he knew Jack wanted to discuss, Jack couldn't read it as Ianto entered the room. Ianto's face had assumed that implacable mask he was capable of slipping into whenever it suited him.
Jack waited for him to sit down.
Jack sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers as Ianto took his seat and regarded Jack placidly.
"What's bothering you?" Jack inquired with a balance of warmth and authority. He knew Ianto well and was well aware that there was no point in beating around the bush with the young archivist. He was content to stare at you placidly and answer exactly the questions you asked.
If, on the other hand, you asked the right questions, he was perfectly candid. He hadn't, in fact, lied to Jack one single time since the day the creature that had once been Lisa Hallett was discovered in the Hub's basement.
"Who is this woman, Jack?" he asked, the very slightest hint of irritation in his voice. "And why does she know everything about us, but we didn't even know her name?"
Ah. It wasn't Buffy herself or the fact that Jack had hired her that was causing the issue. It was the fact that Ianto had gotten the sense that Jack was holding out on them... and, perhaps more pointedly, not similarly holding out on the newly arrived American import.
"We were stuck in that place for two weeks," Jack explained, leaning forward in his chair. "There was a lot of downtime. We chatted."
"You've been back for three days," Ianto pointed out. Jack didn't have a response to that, so he continued. "What does she do?" Ianto asked. "Why is she here?"
"After what happened..." his voice trailed off. They still had trouble talking about it in specific terms. All of them did. "We need someone who specializes in armed and hand to hand combat. An enforcer, of sorts. Buffy can more than handle herself and she was looking to make a career change." He shrugged. "It just worked out."
Ianto nodded slowly, taking this in. "So," he said ponderously. "You hired a ninety pound girl to protect us," he confirmed.
"She's a vampire slayer," Jack said, as if that explained everything.
"Which means what, exactly?" Ianto said flatly.
"Super strength, super agility, accelerated healing..." Jack said, listing the abilities Buffy had mentioned to him off the top of his head.
"So you hired a superhero to protect us," Ianto said dryly, revising his earlier observation.
"Essentially," Jack agreed evenly.
"Do you want me to go upstairs and wait for Superman and Wolverine to arrive?" Ianto asked, completely deadpan.
"I'd never hire Wolverine," Jack replied, matching Ianto's tone. "I wouldn't want any guy working here who looks better in jeans than I do."
"You never wear jeans," Ianto pointed out.
"It's the principle of the thing."
The key to winning these sorts of conversations with Ianto was to not be the first person to crack a smile. Jack almost always lost.
They silently held each other's gaze for a moment.
"Coffee God?" Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.
Jack shrugged almost self-consciously. "I missed you," he explained simply.
Ianto's expression didn't change, but it did seem to soften slightly.
"I can have her on the system by the end of the day," he told Jack.
Jack nodded. Ianto stood, but Jack stopped him as he turned to go.
"Are we good?" he asked.
Ianto nodded curtly and left the office. Jack sat back in his chair and exhaled.
Buffy and Gwen had been having much the same conversation, albeit a little more round-about and less irritated, as they made their way through the Hub. Between short explanations of what went on where, and what the hell a Weevil was (Buffy thought it looked like a demon, possibly a cousin to the vampire - she had to remember to tell Spike that one), Gwen slipped in a few questions about how Buffy knew so much about what they did.
Buffy, for her part, was surprised the woman managed to be so calm about it. But that probably came from working with the police prior to Torchwood recruitment, and non-Sunnydale police seemed to actually know what they were doing. And she wasn't the least bit surprised that Jack hadn't filled his team him on much more than 'newbie coming'; it didn't seem to be his style. She wondered if he'd gotten the memo that that really wasn't going to fly with her. He already knew she didn't do guns.
When they reached the final stop on their seemingly endless tour - the place was huge!, Buffy felt her heart sink into her stomach. That couldn't be what she thought it was. It had to be extra filing space or something... Yeah, right, Buffy, filing space for dead bodies.
"These are the cryo-chambers," Gwen explained a little awkwardly, the thought of Tosh's body being in there making it a little more difficult to talk about. "Torchwood employees are put here after their death, and there are some living persons and aliens in there for safekeeping right now..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the look on Buffy's face. Serious, hard, determined. And perhaps just a little bit scared. "You alright?" she questioned with genuine concern, reaching out to touch the other woman's arm.
Well. Jack certainly hadn't mentioned that.
Buffy glanced away from the rows of drawers to look at Gwen, unable to force any sort of light into her eyes as she put a tiny smile on her face. A mask, of course, one that her teammates would likely be quick to decipher. "Perfectly," she lied with ease. "Just thought of something I need to tell Jack."
"Oh," Gwen answered, her brow slightly furrowed as she surveyed the American woman. "Well, he and Ianto should be done with their meeting-" And she practically had to jog to keep up with Buffy as she hurried from the room.
Jack smiled brightly at Buffy as she strode into his office, but his expression faltered when he saw hers. "How did the tour go?" he asked warily.
She forced a big grin, one of those ones that looked kind of painful and did not ever bode well for the recipient. She heard Gwen coming up behind her and chose to ignore the other woman's presence.
"So you have aliens in the basement and a morgue," she said with false cheerfulness. "What, were you just trying to make me feel more at home?"
Jack just looked at her for a moment. Of all the things to object to, he didn't think it would be the basic storage facilities. "And what did you imagine we did with the dangerous aliens that we have to capture or kill?" he asked in a measured tone. "They have to be kept someplace. You didn't think we shipped dead Nostravites down to the coroner's office, did you?"
Buffy waved her hand dismissively. "No, no, no problem with that," she told him in a deceptively carefree voice. "Gotta put the oogies somewhere when they don't go poof, I completely understand that." She moved to sit in the chair in front of his desk, crossing her legs and resting folded hands on her lap. "What I do have a problem with is the idea of me eventually being put in one of those things." And then all the cheer and smiles were gone and she was completely serious.
Jack leaned forward in his chair, folding his hands in front of him on his desk. "The regulations that stipulate the storage of active employees killed in the line of duty are in place because, when active employees are killed in the line of duty, they generally tend to be killed by things the outside world can't explain and should never see. It goes with the secrecy thing." He held up his hand for a moment, to indicate that his explanation wasn't the end of what he had to say. "If, however, you object to it that strenuously, I believe we can come to an alternate arrangement, as long as it's laid out in advance and doesn't compromise the secrecy of our organization itself or the secrets that it protects. Feel free to draw something up and I'll be happy to look at it."
Buffy uncrossed her legs and leaned forward in her chair, looking Jack directly in the eye with a look that pleaded for understanding. "I understand the need for keeping secrets, Jack," she told him with a voice filled with reason, "really, you're not the only one who's had experience with secret organizations. But I told you about my friends bringing me back from the dead," there was a gasp from Gwen behind her and she could picture the woman's comically shocked expression, "and I refuse to let that happen again."
"Oh, believe me," Jack said, not wavering from her gaze, "we don't do that anymore." He let out a small, scoffing laugh. "In fact, we couldn't if we wanted to. We don't have the equipment." He paused for a moment, then continued. "We store the bodies there. If you're only worried about the one thing, we'll throw a 'Do Not Resurrect' clause into your contract, if you like. If, on the other hand, you really, really don't want to be stored there at all, draw up an alternative, like I said." He shrugged. "I'm not sure what else I can offer, in that regard."
"Just because you're not the one doing it," she quietly told him, "doesn't mean someone else won't. I have it on good authority that 90% of the demon population in this dimension would be more than happy to bring me back just to torture me. Because I'm the Slayer." She could practically hear Gwen's confusion from the doorway. "But thank you, I'll get the paperwork to you tomorrow."
Jack shrugged lightly. "Don't mention it. I promise I'll sign off on it a lot faster than most of the stuff Ianto brings me," he said with a wink. Then Ianto appeared in the doorway, as if summoned. He had several file folders under his arm and a tray in his other hand. He glanced around at his three colleagues, perhaps briefly wondering if he was interrupting something, then cleared his throat. He set the tray down on the desk, distributing the three mugs on it to Jack, Gwen and Buffy. He managed a small, somewhat less tight, smile in Buffy's direction when he handed her the nonfat mocha latte with chocolate sprinkles on top that he'd made her. Jack, perhaps, would have called it the peace-offering smile if he'd gotten to the point of labeling Ianto's smiles. It wouldn't be a time-consuming job, as Ianto Jones smiled neither easily nor often.
Drinks distributed, Ianto took the file folders out from under his arm and set the first one in front of Jack. "Expenses and requisitions from the last fortnight," he said. Jack nodded and put it to the side.
"You need to sign them, Jack."
"I will."
"This week."
Jack gave Buffy a small 'told-you-so' smile and shrug.
Ianto set the next folder in front of Jack. "This is the agenda and relevant documents for your conference call this afternoon."
Jack furrowed his brow in confusion. "What?"
Ianto rolled his eyes. "With the Prime Minister and the head of UNIT. At one o'clock."
Jack looked at his watch. "Really?"
Ianto took a careful, controlled breath. "I told you three weeks ago and reminded you yesterday."
"What was I doing at the time?" Jack asked, a slightly mischievous smile playing at the corners of his lips.
Ianto ignored the comment and opened the file. "UNIT wants to amend several clauses in the interagency cooperation agreement," Ianto explained. "Most of them concern the military and local law enforcement. I've highlighted the sections that concern us," he said, pulling one sheet of paper out of the pile and placing it on top.
Jack looked up at him a little flirtatiously. "What would I do without you?" he joked.
"It's a toss-up between dying of caffeine deprivation and being smothered under a mountain of empty pizza boxes," Ianto replied without missing a beat. "I'll set up the call in the conference room for you," he added.
Ianto turned to Buffy and placed the last folder in front of her. He opened it and indicated a large section of the first page that hadn't been filled in in his tidy handwriting. "You need to fill in this section," he told her. It was personal information. Birth date, bank details, next of kin, etc. The usual. He turned to the second page. "Then sign here," he told her, pointing to a line at the bottom.
Buffy took the offered coffee mug with an 'ooh' expression, taking a hesitant sip and then nearly melting into a happy puddle of happiness right then and there, all over Jack's floor. That had to be the best nonfat mocha latte she'd ever tasted in her entire life. And it had sprinkles! Little chocolate sprinkles. And had come with a smile that she knew meant things were at least a little better. She'd have to remember to thank Jack for that later, too.
Then Ianto was handing her paperwork and pointing things out and she had a much better idea of who Ianto Jones was. He was a Coffee God, a sarcasm fiend according to Jack's stories, and a stickler for paperwork. Smiling up at him, she sweetly said, "I'll get right on it, as soon as I'm finished building a shrine to your coffee greatness. Seriously. I've learned never to mess with paperwork-people, especially when they make insanely yummy coffee."
"In that case, we'll get along fine," Ianto said mildly. He looked at Jack. "One o'clock, Jack," he said, a slight warning tone in his voice as he turned towards the door.
"Alright, alright," Jack said, waving him off. "Just make sure there's an entire thermos of the industrial strength coffee waiting for me," he instructed. Ianto nodded, but kept walking. "And paracetamol!" Jack called as Ianto disappeared out the door.
He looked from Gwen to Buffy and back. "I hate talking to the Prime Minister," he said. "And I really hate talking to the head of UNIT."
Gwen didn't have to say anything or even give Jack a look before he looked at her defensively. "He thinks he's better than me!" Jack told her. "It's really annoying. And he's got bad hair," he added absently as he began riffling through the papers on his desk. "Where's my pen?" he asked nobody in particular.
Buffy watched him moving the papers and after a moment noticed a difference in weight as a few pages shifted; a second later she was plucking a pen from the chaos and holding it out to him.
"I wasn't a big fan when I met him either," she said in response to the jab at the head of UNIT. "Definitely big-headed. He clearly thought he should be dealing with someone taller."
Gwen felt like her head had just fallen off and rolled over into the corner and her expression gave it away in plain detail. "When did you meet the head of UNIT?" she asked Buffy, though demanded might have been the better term.
The blonde gave a shrug. "I was Head Slayer for six years," she explained, as if that said it all. "Lots of meetings with lots of boring people."
Jack cheerfully accepted the pen from Buffy and took a languorous sip of his coffee as she explained her credentials to Gwen. "Head Slayer," he emphasized, shuffling through some forms Ianto had brought him to sign well before the ones that he'd set on Jack's desk that morning. "I'm not about to bring any old Slayer in here."
Buffy snickered and turned to fully address Gwen, happily sipping her coffee and making sure not to spill any on her paperwork. "Used to be the one and only," she told the other woman who looked as if her eyes might start spinning at any moment. "Long story short, we've got about 800 active girls now around the world."
Gwen's frown returned and she glanced at Jack with a question. "Girls?" Generally, if and when she ever thought about vampire slayers types, she assumed big burly men with crossbows, like in the movies.
Jack shrugged. He'd accepted the idea that Vampire Slayers were pretty much exclusively ninety pound girls, as Ianto had put it, pretty easily. "They're all girls," he simply said. "Now they can do some slaying and Buffy can have a change of scenery," he added, shooting Buffy a dazzling smile before returning his attention to the documents in front of him. After a few moments, he glanced up again, realizing Gwen was still standing there. "Thanks, Gwen," he said, though not unkindly. "You can go back to your work now."
Gwen stood there for a moment longer, looking like she was going to argue about something, then just shook her head a little, turned, and walked away.
Buffy watched her go, then returned to fully facing Jack. After another giant gulp of tasty coffee beverage, she took a deep breath and asked, "So bossman," there might have been a bit of teasing there, "what am I supposed to do after I play Paperwork Girl?"
We're absolutely thrilled by the positive response to this story! We're glad people are enjoying it as much as we are!
Title: So Buffy Met Jack...
Authors: Amy tainted_crimson & Sarah magicom
Crossover: Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Torchwood
Spoilers: Through Buffy / Angel series finales and Torchwood Series 2 / Doctor Who Series 4.
Rating: FR-15
Disclaimer: Everything is owned by Joss/Fox and Russell/BBC!
Summary: After spending a few weeks trapped in an extratemporal holding cell together, Captain Jack Harkness offered Buffy Summers a job at Torchwood. And how could she ever turn down an offer like that?
Chapters: 01
DAY ONE, TAKE 2 - Part 2
Jack turned and sat at his desk. Whatever Ianto felt about what Jack was sure he knew Jack wanted to discuss, Jack couldn't read it as Ianto entered the room. Ianto's face had assumed that implacable mask he was capable of slipping into whenever it suited him.
Jack waited for him to sit down.
Jack sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers as Ianto took his seat and regarded Jack placidly.
"What's bothering you?" Jack inquired with a balance of warmth and authority. He knew Ianto well and was well aware that there was no point in beating around the bush with the young archivist. He was content to stare at you placidly and answer exactly the questions you asked.
If, on the other hand, you asked the right questions, he was perfectly candid. He hadn't, in fact, lied to Jack one single time since the day the creature that had once been Lisa Hallett was discovered in the Hub's basement.
"Who is this woman, Jack?" he asked, the very slightest hint of irritation in his voice. "And why does she know everything about us, but we didn't even know her name?"
Ah. It wasn't Buffy herself or the fact that Jack had hired her that was causing the issue. It was the fact that Ianto had gotten the sense that Jack was holding out on them... and, perhaps more pointedly, not similarly holding out on the newly arrived American import.
"We were stuck in that place for two weeks," Jack explained, leaning forward in his chair. "There was a lot of downtime. We chatted."
"You've been back for three days," Ianto pointed out. Jack didn't have a response to that, so he continued. "What does she do?" Ianto asked. "Why is she here?"
"After what happened..." his voice trailed off. They still had trouble talking about it in specific terms. All of them did. "We need someone who specializes in armed and hand to hand combat. An enforcer, of sorts. Buffy can more than handle herself and she was looking to make a career change." He shrugged. "It just worked out."
Ianto nodded slowly, taking this in. "So," he said ponderously. "You hired a ninety pound girl to protect us," he confirmed.
"She's a vampire slayer," Jack said, as if that explained everything.
"Which means what, exactly?" Ianto said flatly.
"Super strength, super agility, accelerated healing..." Jack said, listing the abilities Buffy had mentioned to him off the top of his head.
"So you hired a superhero to protect us," Ianto said dryly, revising his earlier observation.
"Essentially," Jack agreed evenly.
"Do you want me to go upstairs and wait for Superman and Wolverine to arrive?" Ianto asked, completely deadpan.
"I'd never hire Wolverine," Jack replied, matching Ianto's tone. "I wouldn't want any guy working here who looks better in jeans than I do."
"You never wear jeans," Ianto pointed out.
"It's the principle of the thing."
The key to winning these sorts of conversations with Ianto was to not be the first person to crack a smile. Jack almost always lost.
They silently held each other's gaze for a moment.
"Coffee God?" Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.
Jack shrugged almost self-consciously. "I missed you," he explained simply.
Ianto's expression didn't change, but it did seem to soften slightly.
"I can have her on the system by the end of the day," he told Jack.
Jack nodded. Ianto stood, but Jack stopped him as he turned to go.
"Are we good?" he asked.
Ianto nodded curtly and left the office. Jack sat back in his chair and exhaled.
Buffy and Gwen had been having much the same conversation, albeit a little more round-about and less irritated, as they made their way through the Hub. Between short explanations of what went on where, and what the hell a Weevil was (Buffy thought it looked like a demon, possibly a cousin to the vampire - she had to remember to tell Spike that one), Gwen slipped in a few questions about how Buffy knew so much about what they did.
Buffy, for her part, was surprised the woman managed to be so calm about it. But that probably came from working with the police prior to Torchwood recruitment, and non-Sunnydale police seemed to actually know what they were doing. And she wasn't the least bit surprised that Jack hadn't filled his team him on much more than 'newbie coming'; it didn't seem to be his style. She wondered if he'd gotten the memo that that really wasn't going to fly with her. He already knew she didn't do guns.
When they reached the final stop on their seemingly endless tour - the place was huge!, Buffy felt her heart sink into her stomach. That couldn't be what she thought it was. It had to be extra filing space or something... Yeah, right, Buffy, filing space for dead bodies.
"These are the cryo-chambers," Gwen explained a little awkwardly, the thought of Tosh's body being in there making it a little more difficult to talk about. "Torchwood employees are put here after their death, and there are some living persons and aliens in there for safekeeping right now..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the look on Buffy's face. Serious, hard, determined. And perhaps just a little bit scared. "You alright?" she questioned with genuine concern, reaching out to touch the other woman's arm.
Well. Jack certainly hadn't mentioned that.
Buffy glanced away from the rows of drawers to look at Gwen, unable to force any sort of light into her eyes as she put a tiny smile on her face. A mask, of course, one that her teammates would likely be quick to decipher. "Perfectly," she lied with ease. "Just thought of something I need to tell Jack."
"Oh," Gwen answered, her brow slightly furrowed as she surveyed the American woman. "Well, he and Ianto should be done with their meeting-" And she practically had to jog to keep up with Buffy as she hurried from the room.
Jack smiled brightly at Buffy as she strode into his office, but his expression faltered when he saw hers. "How did the tour go?" he asked warily.
She forced a big grin, one of those ones that looked kind of painful and did not ever bode well for the recipient. She heard Gwen coming up behind her and chose to ignore the other woman's presence.
"So you have aliens in the basement and a morgue," she said with false cheerfulness. "What, were you just trying to make me feel more at home?"
Jack just looked at her for a moment. Of all the things to object to, he didn't think it would be the basic storage facilities. "And what did you imagine we did with the dangerous aliens that we have to capture or kill?" he asked in a measured tone. "They have to be kept someplace. You didn't think we shipped dead Nostravites down to the coroner's office, did you?"
Buffy waved her hand dismissively. "No, no, no problem with that," she told him in a deceptively carefree voice. "Gotta put the oogies somewhere when they don't go poof, I completely understand that." She moved to sit in the chair in front of his desk, crossing her legs and resting folded hands on her lap. "What I do have a problem with is the idea of me eventually being put in one of those things." And then all the cheer and smiles were gone and she was completely serious.
Jack leaned forward in his chair, folding his hands in front of him on his desk. "The regulations that stipulate the storage of active employees killed in the line of duty are in place because, when active employees are killed in the line of duty, they generally tend to be killed by things the outside world can't explain and should never see. It goes with the secrecy thing." He held up his hand for a moment, to indicate that his explanation wasn't the end of what he had to say. "If, however, you object to it that strenuously, I believe we can come to an alternate arrangement, as long as it's laid out in advance and doesn't compromise the secrecy of our organization itself or the secrets that it protects. Feel free to draw something up and I'll be happy to look at it."
Buffy uncrossed her legs and leaned forward in her chair, looking Jack directly in the eye with a look that pleaded for understanding. "I understand the need for keeping secrets, Jack," she told him with a voice filled with reason, "really, you're not the only one who's had experience with secret organizations. But I told you about my friends bringing me back from the dead," there was a gasp from Gwen behind her and she could picture the woman's comically shocked expression, "and I refuse to let that happen again."
"Oh, believe me," Jack said, not wavering from her gaze, "we don't do that anymore." He let out a small, scoffing laugh. "In fact, we couldn't if we wanted to. We don't have the equipment." He paused for a moment, then continued. "We store the bodies there. If you're only worried about the one thing, we'll throw a 'Do Not Resurrect' clause into your contract, if you like. If, on the other hand, you really, really don't want to be stored there at all, draw up an alternative, like I said." He shrugged. "I'm not sure what else I can offer, in that regard."
"Just because you're not the one doing it," she quietly told him, "doesn't mean someone else won't. I have it on good authority that 90% of the demon population in this dimension would be more than happy to bring me back just to torture me. Because I'm the Slayer." She could practically hear Gwen's confusion from the doorway. "But thank you, I'll get the paperwork to you tomorrow."
Jack shrugged lightly. "Don't mention it. I promise I'll sign off on it a lot faster than most of the stuff Ianto brings me," he said with a wink. Then Ianto appeared in the doorway, as if summoned. He had several file folders under his arm and a tray in his other hand. He glanced around at his three colleagues, perhaps briefly wondering if he was interrupting something, then cleared his throat. He set the tray down on the desk, distributing the three mugs on it to Jack, Gwen and Buffy. He managed a small, somewhat less tight, smile in Buffy's direction when he handed her the nonfat mocha latte with chocolate sprinkles on top that he'd made her. Jack, perhaps, would have called it the peace-offering smile if he'd gotten to the point of labeling Ianto's smiles. It wouldn't be a time-consuming job, as Ianto Jones smiled neither easily nor often.
Drinks distributed, Ianto took the file folders out from under his arm and set the first one in front of Jack. "Expenses and requisitions from the last fortnight," he said. Jack nodded and put it to the side.
"You need to sign them, Jack."
"I will."
"This week."
Jack gave Buffy a small 'told-you-so' smile and shrug.
Ianto set the next folder in front of Jack. "This is the agenda and relevant documents for your conference call this afternoon."
Jack furrowed his brow in confusion. "What?"
Ianto rolled his eyes. "With the Prime Minister and the head of UNIT. At one o'clock."
Jack looked at his watch. "Really?"
Ianto took a careful, controlled breath. "I told you three weeks ago and reminded you yesterday."
"What was I doing at the time?" Jack asked, a slightly mischievous smile playing at the corners of his lips.
Ianto ignored the comment and opened the file. "UNIT wants to amend several clauses in the interagency cooperation agreement," Ianto explained. "Most of them concern the military and local law enforcement. I've highlighted the sections that concern us," he said, pulling one sheet of paper out of the pile and placing it on top.
Jack looked up at him a little flirtatiously. "What would I do without you?" he joked.
"It's a toss-up between dying of caffeine deprivation and being smothered under a mountain of empty pizza boxes," Ianto replied without missing a beat. "I'll set up the call in the conference room for you," he added.
Ianto turned to Buffy and placed the last folder in front of her. He opened it and indicated a large section of the first page that hadn't been filled in in his tidy handwriting. "You need to fill in this section," he told her. It was personal information. Birth date, bank details, next of kin, etc. The usual. He turned to the second page. "Then sign here," he told her, pointing to a line at the bottom.
Buffy took the offered coffee mug with an 'ooh' expression, taking a hesitant sip and then nearly melting into a happy puddle of happiness right then and there, all over Jack's floor. That had to be the best nonfat mocha latte she'd ever tasted in her entire life. And it had sprinkles! Little chocolate sprinkles. And had come with a smile that she knew meant things were at least a little better. She'd have to remember to thank Jack for that later, too.
Then Ianto was handing her paperwork and pointing things out and she had a much better idea of who Ianto Jones was. He was a Coffee God, a sarcasm fiend according to Jack's stories, and a stickler for paperwork. Smiling up at him, she sweetly said, "I'll get right on it, as soon as I'm finished building a shrine to your coffee greatness. Seriously. I've learned never to mess with paperwork-people, especially when they make insanely yummy coffee."
"In that case, we'll get along fine," Ianto said mildly. He looked at Jack. "One o'clock, Jack," he said, a slight warning tone in his voice as he turned towards the door.
"Alright, alright," Jack said, waving him off. "Just make sure there's an entire thermos of the industrial strength coffee waiting for me," he instructed. Ianto nodded, but kept walking. "And paracetamol!" Jack called as Ianto disappeared out the door.
He looked from Gwen to Buffy and back. "I hate talking to the Prime Minister," he said. "And I really hate talking to the head of UNIT."
Gwen didn't have to say anything or even give Jack a look before he looked at her defensively. "He thinks he's better than me!" Jack told her. "It's really annoying. And he's got bad hair," he added absently as he began riffling through the papers on his desk. "Where's my pen?" he asked nobody in particular.
Buffy watched him moving the papers and after a moment noticed a difference in weight as a few pages shifted; a second later she was plucking a pen from the chaos and holding it out to him.
"I wasn't a big fan when I met him either," she said in response to the jab at the head of UNIT. "Definitely big-headed. He clearly thought he should be dealing with someone taller."
Gwen felt like her head had just fallen off and rolled over into the corner and her expression gave it away in plain detail. "When did you meet the head of UNIT?" she asked Buffy, though demanded might have been the better term.
The blonde gave a shrug. "I was Head Slayer for six years," she explained, as if that said it all. "Lots of meetings with lots of boring people."
Jack cheerfully accepted the pen from Buffy and took a languorous sip of his coffee as she explained her credentials to Gwen. "Head Slayer," he emphasized, shuffling through some forms Ianto had brought him to sign well before the ones that he'd set on Jack's desk that morning. "I'm not about to bring any old Slayer in here."
Buffy snickered and turned to fully address Gwen, happily sipping her coffee and making sure not to spill any on her paperwork. "Used to be the one and only," she told the other woman who looked as if her eyes might start spinning at any moment. "Long story short, we've got about 800 active girls now around the world."
Gwen's frown returned and she glanced at Jack with a question. "Girls?" Generally, if and when she ever thought about vampire slayers types, she assumed big burly men with crossbows, like in the movies.
Jack shrugged. He'd accepted the idea that Vampire Slayers were pretty much exclusively ninety pound girls, as Ianto had put it, pretty easily. "They're all girls," he simply said. "Now they can do some slaying and Buffy can have a change of scenery," he added, shooting Buffy a dazzling smile before returning his attention to the documents in front of him. After a few moments, he glanced up again, realizing Gwen was still standing there. "Thanks, Gwen," he said, though not unkindly. "You can go back to your work now."
Gwen stood there for a moment longer, looking like she was going to argue about something, then just shook her head a little, turned, and walked away.
Buffy watched her go, then returned to fully facing Jack. After another giant gulp of tasty coffee beverage, she took a deep breath and asked, "So bossman," there might have been a bit of teasing there, "what am I supposed to do after I play Paperwork Girl?"
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