i hate my compulsive urges to clean.

i have to. i have to clean. things have to be neat. orderly. perfect.

if everything is not spotless i feel stressed. i feel like i have no control.

i really do hate my obsessive need for things to be clean.

i believe i may be crazy.

on saturday, one of my tires split and i had to pay close to 200 bucks for two tires ( Read more... )

im in my second week of training in my new collections job.
it takes me an hour to get to work.
my ass is sore from sitting on it 8 hours a day.
i am sick with a cold. its destroying my soul.

also, im really scared im going to gain back all the weight ive lost.

this is my life.

so i got the collections job. its full time and pays 2 dollars more an hour.
i start august 4th.

im having issues with sleeping lately. i cant fall asleep before 1 am and its fucking killing me ( Read more... )

it is 3 am. i am so drunk i have no idea how i got home. my friend nikki calls me around midnight... "hey i got in a huge fight with eric. can you come keep me company? i just dont feel like being alone right now." eric is her boyfriend. i drive over to her apartment and shes drunk. shes been drinking all of her boyfriends beer just to spite him. i ( Read more... )

there is hardly ever anything to construct a full meal out of in my house. for example, right now i woke up starving and really wanted some breakfast. i found some cereal, but not even enough was left in the box for a little bowl. i found bacon, but no eggs. we have bread for toast, but no butter or cream cheese to spread on it. i found pancake mix ( Read more... )

why does everything have to be like a fucking roller coaster for me? when im up, i am fucking UP. things are great, im happy. things go right and its beautiful at the top. but then, WHOA FUCK IM GOING DOWN. everything goes to shit in mere fractions of a second. i start to lose it. then i go through a loop-dee-loop and im on my way back to the top. ( Read more... )

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