In truth, I lack most of the motivation that's essential to live today. Over time I've grown resentful towards everyday living and the requirements I was born into. I'm in a bit of a rut that leaves me not wanting to associate myself with a single soul, since I regard most of existance as hedonistic and unsatisfying ( Read more... )

So what do you do when you are trying, but you still fail? lack all motivation. chemistry i failed my test, algebra 2 i failed my test, photography my shutter broke so i cant take pictures, american history i get my papers taken away ( Read more... )

today was as productive as it was lagging ( Read more... )

i started painting now. i really enjoy it. for my birthday i think im going to ask for some paints and brushes.
i went running with sam last night for an hour and a half. then we played frisbee(11- 1am)
then i watched white oleander..the movie was pretty satisfying.
but if i hadnt read the book i dont think it would have meant that much to me.

no exercise today. reluctantly i just didnt have the time ( Read more... )

around when i was living in orlando and experimenting with acid i started this wierd habit of only watching the tv on mute with a mixtape playing to it.
preferably live action news and cartoons. give it a try if you read this. actually watch the tv while listening to the music though. i like it atleast.

yesterday i went to the beach and did some running and swimming..played some frisbee and soccer as well ( Read more... )

so ive decided to use my live journal as more of a time line for the next year. so its probably going to be full of long honest entries for the purpose of me looking back on it all. if youd like to..your more than welcome to. lifes not much of a secret ( Read more... )

so i have something definate now ( Read more... )

i watched the movie "Audition" today.
its a Miike japanese horror film. hes really a great diretor.
i enjoyed "Ichi(one) the killer" by him as well.

sundays are an official family game night. mo-fucking-nopoly!
family meaning my cousin wendy and who ever else shows up.