[SJFF] Yearning of the Heart - Chapter 10
Title: Yearning of the Heart
Characters: Ryeowook, OC, SJ members
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama
Type: Novel
Summary: All he wants was for her to love him, and all she wants was for someone else to love her. If only life could be simple.
Author's Notes: Expansion of Like A Fool.
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Chapter 10
The moment Ryeowook opened his room door with a little more force than intended, a surprise gasp from someone within the room grabbed his attention. He stared at the person seated on Jungsoo's bed for a short moment, feeling extremely confused before something clicked in his head. Ryeowook mentally reprimanding himself for forgetting that there was a new member living with them, even though it's been more than a month since Kyuhyun had moved in. "Sorry, did I startle you?" he asked.
"Just a little…" Kyuhyun admitted, looking at his roommate curiously as the latter ambled towards the bed on the opposite corner of the room and dropped himself face-down on top of the mattress. Even though he was rather curious about the reason behind Ryeowook's sulking, he decided to allow the latter to catch his breath first, so Kyuhyun returned his attention to the screen of his laptop once again so that he could continue with the game at hand
"Teukkie hyung's not back yet?" Ryeowook asked, turning his head towards Kyuhyun so that the latter could catch what he's saying. He could vaguely remember that the Super Junior leader mentioning that he had something to do when their schedules for the morning had ended, and hasn't seen him since.
"Nope," the other replied. "He's probably out on some schedules, I guess."
"Nah, I think he's out with his girlfriend ri- oh crap! You weren't supposed to know that!" The older male started, only to hold his tongue immediately when he realised what he had just let out in the open. Since Kyuhyun had joined the group after Jungsoo got together with Angie, the maknae still didn't know that their leader was in a relationship. That was, until now…
Kyuhyun paused his game at once when he caught on to what Ryeowook had said. "Teukkie hyung has a girlfriend?" he exclaimed incredulously, wondering why no one had talked about the matter in front of him. After chipping in more thoughts over the matter, Kyuhyun groaned inwardly when he realised that Jungsoo had been displaying all signs of having a significant other while he was in the dorms - the countless phone calls, the ceaseless text-messaging…
"Please don't tell Teukkie hyung that I told you this… He'll kill me for sure…" Ryeowook groaned, planting his face into the comforter again to punish himself for the slip-up.
"Don't worry, I'll keep my lips sealed tight enough," the maknae promised, tugging on the imaginary zip on his mouth. Deciding that Ryeowook had probably calmed down considerably by now, Kyuhyun tried his luck to satisfy his curiosity about the older male's current mood. He would just have to try and find out about Jungsoo's relationship some other time. "Tough day out?" he queried.
"Not really tough, but more towards being annoying in general," Ryeowook said, though his voice came out as almost-incoherent mumbles through the sheets. He willed the thoughts away when his mind reminded him about Kyoungmi's happy expression when she was told that she was going to have a duet with Kwangho earlier in the afternoon.
"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that it's not because of your schedules." the maknae of the group mused. He figured out that if the older male wanted to talk, he would divulge everything else on his own. But if Ryeowook didn't want to say anything, then he was fine with it as well. Considering the fact that Kyuhyun still wasn't too close with anyone else in the group, he decided to just be the listener if they needed someone to rant to.
Ryeowook chuckled a little at Kyuhyun's comment - more towards incredulous rather than amused. "Do I wear my feelings on my sleeves?" he wondered, this time flipping over to lie on his back. It was getting a little too hard to breathe with his face planted firmly into his comforter, and breathing was what he needed the most at the moment after being suffocated by the things that were happening around him as of late.
"Not really," the other quipped. "I'm just naturally observant."
Ryeowook propped himself up on the bed at once, shooting a dark look at Kyuhyun at that comment. Nonetheless, he couldn't deny the fact that he was really amused by the boy's wittiness, as could be seen through his various remarks from time to time. The maknae is smart - that much was given - but he also seemed like someone who could give suitable advices despite his young age. Kyuhyun might not admit it when someone tells him outright, but he was quite mature in terms of his thoughts.
"Kyu, how does it feel like to be in love?" Ryeowook finally asked after a short debate with himself.
Kyuhyun, who was in the middle of drinking from his glass, choked on the water when the question was registered in his mind and coughed violently for a short moment after that. When he was composed enough to talk, it was now his turn to shoot a dirty glare at Ryeowook. "Geez, I would appreciate it if you would warn me first before asking something like that…" he mumbled, and the other male grinned at him apologetically. "Anyway, why are you asking something like that? Haven't you been in love before?"
"Well… I'm not even sure about that," Ryeowook admitted truthfully, causing Kyuhyun to tilt his head to the side and look at him incredulously. He groaned when he caught sight of the latter's actions. "Stop looking at me like that, Kyu. I'm being serious here."
Said person chuckled and raised his hands in front of him, indicating that he got the request. "But really, I think that the feeling of being in love is a rather subjective thing to explain. It varies between different people, that much I'm sure."
"I know… But I'd still like to hear your opinion. I've heard Teukkie hyung and Donghae hyung's views on the matter, so at least I could compare between them then pick out the similarities. Just do your hyung here a favour, please?" Ryeowook pleaded.
"Hyung, you don't have to use the aegyo tactic on me…" he grumbled, but quickly searched through his mind for a suitable explanation to come up with. "Well… to me, I would know that I'm truly in love with a person when I have the urge to see her all the time, and when I feel like I can't stand not talking to her even once in a day. You'd also start thinking that even the worst of days could turn better in the blink of an eye when you see her…" Kyuhyun trailed off, temporarily losing his focus and was submerged into his own world as he recalled all the feelings.
"Kyuhyun, you have five seconds to wipe that goofy grin off your face before I take a photo of it and show it to the others," Ryeowook teased when he noticed that dreamy look while Kyuhyun was telling him what he wanted to know. It was simply amusing, considering the fact that the maknae doesn't openly display expressions like that - not that he had noticed, at least. Nonetheless, he yelped in pain moments later when a pillow - Jungsoo's - connected with his face, no doubt launched at him by Kyuhyun. "Hey! You sneaky brat!" he protested.
"No one blackmails the great Cho Kyuhyun, especially not with photos like that," the other stuck out his tongue in Ryeowook's direction.
"Oh ha-ha. That's very mature of you, Kyuhyun," Ryeowook deadpanned, rolling his eyes at his roommate, whom merely did a finger dance in response to that. The both of them ended up laughing their guts out after that, before Ryeowook decided to call it a night. He was exhausted after completing his schedules for the day after all, and was secretly envious of Kyuhyun who could bail out on certain obligations so that he could go to school, considering the fact that the younger male was in his final year of high school.
However, no matter how hard Ryeowook tried to force himself to just drift off to dreamland, he couldn't - not when his mind kept reminding him about Kyuhyun's words. The way that the younger male talks about how he feels when he falls in love with someone reminds Ryeowook greatly of himself. Judging by how Jungsoo and Donghae also gave similar inputs, it unsettled him even more, mainly because he experiences the exact same emotions when it came to Kyoungmi.
And that's where the dilemma starts for him. Ryeowook didn't want to confess that he was in love with Kyoungmi; it was too big a word to be used, and he still wanted to be her best friend that he could share everything in his life with. But who am I kidding, he thought. It was blindingly obvious - even to him - that he was afraid to admit his own feelings because he didn't want to be faced with the possibility that his heart might break if, and when, the day comes where Kyoungmi ends up being with Kwangho.
But he knew that it was too late for that. The minor crush he had for Kyoungmi since the first time that he saw her on television had grown into something that he no longer had control of after spending so much time with her. Ryeowook hated the fact that he knew it was going to be next to impossible for him to pull himself out of it, and that he did not have the willpower to cut off all contact with Kyoungmi so that he could forget about the endearing feelings he had for her. He had become far too attached and far too comfortable with the friendship he had with Kyoungmi to give up on it so easily.
Kim Ryeowook, congratulations for turning yourself into a huge mess because of love, he chuckled dryly in his mind.
Characters: Ryeowook, OC, SJ members
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama
Type: Novel
Summary: All he wants was for her to love him, and all she wants was for someone else to love her. If only life could be simple.
Author's Notes: Expansion of Like A Fool.
~ * ~
Chapter 10
The moment Ryeowook opened his room door with a little more force than intended, a surprise gasp from someone within the room grabbed his attention. He stared at the person seated on Jungsoo's bed for a short moment, feeling extremely confused before something clicked in his head. Ryeowook mentally reprimanding himself for forgetting that there was a new member living with them, even though it's been more than a month since Kyuhyun had moved in. "Sorry, did I startle you?" he asked.
"Just a little…" Kyuhyun admitted, looking at his roommate curiously as the latter ambled towards the bed on the opposite corner of the room and dropped himself face-down on top of the mattress. Even though he was rather curious about the reason behind Ryeowook's sulking, he decided to allow the latter to catch his breath first, so Kyuhyun returned his attention to the screen of his laptop once again so that he could continue with the game at hand
"Teukkie hyung's not back yet?" Ryeowook asked, turning his head towards Kyuhyun so that the latter could catch what he's saying. He could vaguely remember that the Super Junior leader mentioning that he had something to do when their schedules for the morning had ended, and hasn't seen him since.
"Nope," the other replied. "He's probably out on some schedules, I guess."
"Nah, I think he's out with his girlfriend ri- oh crap! You weren't supposed to know that!" The older male started, only to hold his tongue immediately when he realised what he had just let out in the open. Since Kyuhyun had joined the group after Jungsoo got together with Angie, the maknae still didn't know that their leader was in a relationship. That was, until now…
Kyuhyun paused his game at once when he caught on to what Ryeowook had said. "Teukkie hyung has a girlfriend?" he exclaimed incredulously, wondering why no one had talked about the matter in front of him. After chipping in more thoughts over the matter, Kyuhyun groaned inwardly when he realised that Jungsoo had been displaying all signs of having a significant other while he was in the dorms - the countless phone calls, the ceaseless text-messaging…
"Please don't tell Teukkie hyung that I told you this… He'll kill me for sure…" Ryeowook groaned, planting his face into the comforter again to punish himself for the slip-up.
"Don't worry, I'll keep my lips sealed tight enough," the maknae promised, tugging on the imaginary zip on his mouth. Deciding that Ryeowook had probably calmed down considerably by now, Kyuhyun tried his luck to satisfy his curiosity about the older male's current mood. He would just have to try and find out about Jungsoo's relationship some other time. "Tough day out?" he queried.
"Not really tough, but more towards being annoying in general," Ryeowook said, though his voice came out as almost-incoherent mumbles through the sheets. He willed the thoughts away when his mind reminded him about Kyoungmi's happy expression when she was told that she was going to have a duet with Kwangho earlier in the afternoon.
"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that it's not because of your schedules." the maknae of the group mused. He figured out that if the older male wanted to talk, he would divulge everything else on his own. But if Ryeowook didn't want to say anything, then he was fine with it as well. Considering the fact that Kyuhyun still wasn't too close with anyone else in the group, he decided to just be the listener if they needed someone to rant to.
Ryeowook chuckled a little at Kyuhyun's comment - more towards incredulous rather than amused. "Do I wear my feelings on my sleeves?" he wondered, this time flipping over to lie on his back. It was getting a little too hard to breathe with his face planted firmly into his comforter, and breathing was what he needed the most at the moment after being suffocated by the things that were happening around him as of late.
"Not really," the other quipped. "I'm just naturally observant."
Ryeowook propped himself up on the bed at once, shooting a dark look at Kyuhyun at that comment. Nonetheless, he couldn't deny the fact that he was really amused by the boy's wittiness, as could be seen through his various remarks from time to time. The maknae is smart - that much was given - but he also seemed like someone who could give suitable advices despite his young age. Kyuhyun might not admit it when someone tells him outright, but he was quite mature in terms of his thoughts.
"Kyu, how does it feel like to be in love?" Ryeowook finally asked after a short debate with himself.
Kyuhyun, who was in the middle of drinking from his glass, choked on the water when the question was registered in his mind and coughed violently for a short moment after that. When he was composed enough to talk, it was now his turn to shoot a dirty glare at Ryeowook. "Geez, I would appreciate it if you would warn me first before asking something like that…" he mumbled, and the other male grinned at him apologetically. "Anyway, why are you asking something like that? Haven't you been in love before?"
"Well… I'm not even sure about that," Ryeowook admitted truthfully, causing Kyuhyun to tilt his head to the side and look at him incredulously. He groaned when he caught sight of the latter's actions. "Stop looking at me like that, Kyu. I'm being serious here."
Said person chuckled and raised his hands in front of him, indicating that he got the request. "But really, I think that the feeling of being in love is a rather subjective thing to explain. It varies between different people, that much I'm sure."
"I know… But I'd still like to hear your opinion. I've heard Teukkie hyung and Donghae hyung's views on the matter, so at least I could compare between them then pick out the similarities. Just do your hyung here a favour, please?" Ryeowook pleaded.
"Hyung, you don't have to use the aegyo tactic on me…" he grumbled, but quickly searched through his mind for a suitable explanation to come up with. "Well… to me, I would know that I'm truly in love with a person when I have the urge to see her all the time, and when I feel like I can't stand not talking to her even once in a day. You'd also start thinking that even the worst of days could turn better in the blink of an eye when you see her…" Kyuhyun trailed off, temporarily losing his focus and was submerged into his own world as he recalled all the feelings.
"Kyuhyun, you have five seconds to wipe that goofy grin off your face before I take a photo of it and show it to the others," Ryeowook teased when he noticed that dreamy look while Kyuhyun was telling him what he wanted to know. It was simply amusing, considering the fact that the maknae doesn't openly display expressions like that - not that he had noticed, at least. Nonetheless, he yelped in pain moments later when a pillow - Jungsoo's - connected with his face, no doubt launched at him by Kyuhyun. "Hey! You sneaky brat!" he protested.
"No one blackmails the great Cho Kyuhyun, especially not with photos like that," the other stuck out his tongue in Ryeowook's direction.
"Oh ha-ha. That's very mature of you, Kyuhyun," Ryeowook deadpanned, rolling his eyes at his roommate, whom merely did a finger dance in response to that. The both of them ended up laughing their guts out after that, before Ryeowook decided to call it a night. He was exhausted after completing his schedules for the day after all, and was secretly envious of Kyuhyun who could bail out on certain obligations so that he could go to school, considering the fact that the younger male was in his final year of high school.
However, no matter how hard Ryeowook tried to force himself to just drift off to dreamland, he couldn't - not when his mind kept reminding him about Kyuhyun's words. The way that the younger male talks about how he feels when he falls in love with someone reminds Ryeowook greatly of himself. Judging by how Jungsoo and Donghae also gave similar inputs, it unsettled him even more, mainly because he experiences the exact same emotions when it came to Kyoungmi.
And that's where the dilemma starts for him. Ryeowook didn't want to confess that he was in love with Kyoungmi; it was too big a word to be used, and he still wanted to be her best friend that he could share everything in his life with. But who am I kidding, he thought. It was blindingly obvious - even to him - that he was afraid to admit his own feelings because he didn't want to be faced with the possibility that his heart might break if, and when, the day comes where Kyoungmi ends up being with Kwangho.
But he knew that it was too late for that. The minor crush he had for Kyoungmi since the first time that he saw her on television had grown into something that he no longer had control of after spending so much time with her. Ryeowook hated the fact that he knew it was going to be next to impossible for him to pull himself out of it, and that he did not have the willpower to cut off all contact with Kyoungmi so that he could forget about the endearing feelings he had for her. He had become far too attached and far too comfortable with the friendship he had with Kyoungmi to give up on it so easily.
Kim Ryeowook, congratulations for turning yourself into a huge mess because of love, he chuckled dryly in his mind.