No perfect love
I am slowly comming to the realization that I will never feel that one perfect moment of joy that has been advertized to me all my life. That one true love I felt in my heart of hearts I would one day atain. The unicorn, the unspoken legend, I will never have this. You wont ither mind you, none of us will. We probably wont even feel compleat once
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really, there may, or may not, be a perfect fit for each of us. since we can only hypothesize about it, in the grand scheme of things, i believe we need to focus on improving our lot in life. if all we do is wonder, and guess, but do nothing, we are doomed to remain in our rut for the remained of our life...
i.e. do you have a job yet? do you have a plan to move out yet?
what is funny is that you question your love for chitterbug, all the while you're demanding more of her attention. second thoughts? why?
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I think your right about tryign to improve. nope no job yet, my plan is to keep handing out resumes (gotta print up some more) untill someone sais I have the job, then Im gonna move out and look into colledge or something. As for Questioning my love for Abbie I dont, Im trying to define my love for her, and my life here in general, she knows shes very dear to me and I think she allso knows that my life dose nto revolve around her (though shes a big part of it) I can be demanding of her at times, but shes allso demanding of me, but I dont mind, thats part of a relationship is being there for eachother in your times of need. And Yeah I have second thoughts, I think thats normal and healthy, but every time I come back to it I realize theres no one else I'd rather be with. I love her dearly, shes notthing like I would have expected Id end up with but thats just fine by me. Anyways I could go on for pages about her, I have before actualy ;)
anyways *hugs*
take care
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Not to break your bubble Snowie, but I've already felt this several times... so what does that mean? ;)
Also, while I don't believe there's "one" special person out there for anyone, I believe there's thousands of them in fact, and it's easier to find them than you think. I've found mine... and I am very happy ^.^
Sometimes love isn't suppose to feel how it's advertised in movies, but it feels a helluva lot better than having that moment of joy with the wrong people ;)
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Or maybe my life is the shitty jumbled painfull rat maze I make it out to be afterall and I just miss out on the really good stuff.
Naw to be honest I have felt some moments that have felt perfect or almost perfect, but of course it duzznt last, and the most blissfull moments have allways been when I was dreaming *sighs*
My point was really that I seemed to have this immage in my mind of what life could be like, this wonderfull world of open posibilites and things going my way and all that stuff, instead it has been fighting an uphill battle and a lot of compramises.
Im disapointed, I want my money back! *chuckles*
anyways *hugs*
Im okay, im figuring it out,im finding my way. I just wish I had a fuckign job so I could have my own space and a few things of my own while I find my way, im tired of being poor :(
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