I'm your greatest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, papa-paparazzi

[snaxcident]

I'm at the Toronto International Film Festival all week. We're spending all our time running to venues, standing in lines, sitting in lines, waiting in lines, switching to lines... It's pretty fucking glamourous!

Comments

[copperbadge]

Don't feel awful you're not Oprah. Most of her own hometown loathes her right now, like a photographer who thought you were Selma Hayek for a minute.

You should keep an eye on the gossip rags. Maybe they'll use your photo!

I have to admit that I spent a good thirty seconds LOLing at the scene in my head. Innocent woman walks down street -- BAM! PHOTOGRAPHER!

She flails backwards, startled. The photographer does a double take and then walks off.

Innocent woman is left stood there, blinking, while the restaurant behind her all crane their necks to see if she's someone famous.

HA! Joke's on you, restaurant.

[snaxcident]

HAHAHA Salma? Not even on a good day. I bet he thought I was a Lesser Kardashian. Klaire Kardashian. They don't let her out in the sun too much.

Your Head Scene is exactly what happened -- it's true, those patio peeps wasted neck-time and eye-time on a civilian. Sucks to be them! Advantage: ME.

PS: Don't say your town loathes Oprah. She gave you a block party to celebrate Oprah! Chicago didn't need streets, traffic, mobility, etc.

[copperbadge]

I hear Oprah has a traveling gang of private security men and large pickup trucks to close the street she's walking down ahead of her. Where Oprah goes, no cars may follow!

Were you wearing giant sunglasses? Maybe they thought you were Penelope Cruz.

[snaxcident]

Actually I WAS wearing sunglasses, which I'm sure is the key to the problem, but that picture of Penelope puts me to shame.

I think in peripheral vision, I might have a Penelopesque vibe.

Like, if you took a pic of me and then ran it through a Photoshop BLUR filter three or four times.

And then lengthened and narrowed it. LOL!!!!

[blue_fjords]

That Citizen of Toronto is obviously an asswipe based on his choice of insult. And I've seen pics of you -- you *are* hot! WTF, Citizen of Toronto? My brother is most likely going to be a Citizen of Toronto soon, and when I visit him, I will mos def spit in the coffee of that one particular Citizen of Toronto, on your behalf.

Heh, the paparazzi guy was only 75% as sexy as Daniel Baldwin. Now that's putting him in his place!

[snaxcident]

I'm so excited - the addition of an extra awesome person to Tdot!!!! He's gonna love it!

[darththalia]

Just as well you're not Oprah right now, unless being hated by the entire city of Chicago is one of your life's ambitions.

And I'm sure you're *much* hotter than whoever the guy thought you were.

[snaxcident]

If I see Oprah during the festival, I'm going to bring this road closure business up.

It will happen after I fall to the ground at her feet and beg her to touch me and heal my broken spirit!!! Once she does that and invites me to eat biscuits in her kitchen with Maya Angelou, I will bring up the Chicago debacle.

[darththalia]

First you should encourage her to use the collected works of ask_captainjack as a book club selection. The world would be a much better place if millions of people were absorbing the captain's words of wisdom. If she'll do that, we'll forgive the street closing. And the 24,000 people milling around.

[snaxcident]

I LOVE THIS IDEA. Oprah should stand aside and let a real man do the Advice Giving.

[amand_r]

WTF snaxi, you are totally hott.

[snaxcident]

We both are. That's why Amandr and Snaxi have to live in separate countries. It's like Matter / AntiMatter.

[amand_r]

TOTES.

Have fun at your movies. I'M GOING TO A BEER FESTIVAL! WOOHOO DRUNK BY 6:30, SOBER BY 9. I AM A WINNAR.

See icon. That is mah drunk face.

[snaxcident]

DRUNK FACES ARE THE BEST FACES!

[kel_reiley]

HAHA! this is a good story
next time it happens (i predict there will be 3 or 4 more occurrences) you should pretend you ARE famous and scream at them 'I AM NOT A ZOO ANIMAL! I DESERVE MY PRIVACY!'

[snaxcident]

I have often longed to throw a hissy fit on the street - this could be my big opportunity!