MOVE IT! MOVE IT! ARE YOU MEN OR ARE YOU FRESHLY WEANED BABES? MAX'S BOOT CAMP OF PHYSICAL EXERTION!

[tank_rockarms]

Who: Max, Jake, Vinnie, Goose, Mac, perhaps special guest stars Miller/Liquid Snake or other sundry folk who have the misfortune to run across them
What: Boot Camp
Where: Outside
When: 4am. The date is immaterial.
Warnings: Vinnie has a potty mouth.

Comments

A thread for you to die in

[tank_rockarms]

Oh look, you are at the track now. It looks nice in the pre-dawn darkness, probably. If you can keep your eyes open long enough to look at it, anyway. You're patiently awaiting orders, I'm sure.

Max looks at the sorry excuses for soldiers he has to train (and also Mac who is not technically a soldier but in this case is treated as if he were one). "GOOD MORNING. YOU WERE ALL LOOKING A LITTLE SOFT AROUND THE EDGES YESTERDAY, SO I DECIDED THAT TODAY, YOU NEEDED A LITTLE EXTRA." Oh god, Max, do you have any volume other than 11? No? Alright. "THIS MORNING YOU NOTICE WE HAVE A GUEST. WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M TREATIN' YOU EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, AND UNTIL I SAY SO, HE AIN'T MAC, HE'S PRIVATE MAC. THE FIRST THING THE THREE OF YOU ARE GONNA DO IS RUN A FIVE K. WEARIN' YOUR PACKS

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[boxingmidget]

Just so you know Jake. You should be prepared for a half dead roommate at the end of today.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[orangestarbeats]

He's seen worse. You should see Max when he's being HARD on recruits.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[badasscopters]

Meanwhile Goose was just kind of slightly sort of scared of Max right now and floundering like a fish to try to move.

It was only semi-working.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[tank_rockarms]

You are failing, Goose. You are a failure.

"GET UP, PRIVATE GOOSE," ordered Max. "BEFORE I MAKE YOU GET UP."

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[badasscopters]

"I'm tryiiiiiin'!"

Goose attempted and attempted and still only wound up floundering like a stupid Magikarp. WELP.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[tank_rockarms]

Max marched over, bent down, picked up Goose with one hand, and set him up on his feet.

"NOW RUN, SOLDIER," Max suggested.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[badasscopters]

"OKAY OKAY DAMN YOU AIN'T GOTTA--"

Falling flat on his face again.

FLOUNDERING AGAIN.

WOW GOOSE. WOW.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[tank_rockarms]

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Max asked. "DO YOU GOT LEGS MADE OUTTA JELLO?"

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[badasscopters]

"THIS

THING'S

HEAVY, SHUT UP."

Actually yes he has a body made outta jello.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[tank_rockarms]

"Excuse me," said Max in a still, small voice. "Did you just tell me to shut up?"

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[badasscopters]

"Yeah. I did."

GLARE. OF. i am so dead and max my bone marrow is yours ANGER.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[punchtheflowers]

Oh. Oh WOW.

Vinnie was on the other side of the track, but even he could still hear Max's dulcet tones. He might've even slowed down to watch.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[boxingmidget]

Mac did too a little. It involved him running a little slower and turning his head to look at the whole thing.

Goose, you did. Not. Oh no. Mac could barely watch but, haha, he is anyway.

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[tank_rockarms]

Max crossed his arms in front of his chest, and seemed to grow two sizes larger.

"I see."

He took a deep, deep breath and slowly exhaled it. His voice remained at a very moderate, low tone.

"Do you stand by that statement, soldier?"

Re: No, this is capslock absue

[badasscopters]

Oh.

That is starting to get a little scary now.

NO CHICKENING OUT, THOUGH, BECAUSE HIS EGO IS AT STAKE. Goose puffs up his chest and seems... well, not even half a size larger.

"I... I sure do."