Comments | smash_logs: MOVE IT! MOVE IT! ARE YOU MEN OR ARE YOU FRESHLY WEANED BABES? MAX'S BOOT CAMP OF PHYSICAL EXERTION!

tank_rockarms in smash_logs

MOVE IT! MOVE IT! ARE YOU MEN OR ARE YOU FRESHLY WEANED BABES? MAX'S BOOT CAMP OF PHYSICAL EXERTION!

Jul 15, 2011 19:08

Who: Max, Jake, Vinnie, Goose, Mac, perhaps special guest stars Miller/Liquid Snake or other sundry folk who have the misfortune to run across them
What: Boot Camp
Where: Outside
When: 4am. The date is immaterial.
Warnings: Vinnie has a potty mouth.

( HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNGH )

!rp log, little mac (punch out), vinnie/venusaur (pokemon), jake (advance wars), goose (pilotwings), max (advance wars)

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A thread for you to die in tank_rockarms July 16 2011, 00:16:40 UTC

Oh look, you are at the track now. It looks nice in the pre-dawn darkness, probably. If you can keep your eyes open long enough to look at it, anyway. You're patiently awaiting orders, I'm sure.

Max looks at the sorry excuses for soldiers he has to train (and also Mac who is not technically a soldier but in this case is treated as if he were one). "GOOD MORNING. YOU WERE ALL LOOKING A LITTLE SOFT AROUND THE EDGES YESTERDAY, SO I DECIDED THAT TODAY, YOU NEEDED A LITTLE EXTRA." Oh god, Max, do you have any volume other than 11? No? Alright. "THIS MORNING YOU NOTICE WE HAVE A GUEST. WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M TREATIN' YOU EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, AND UNTIL I SAY SO, HE AIN'T MAC, HE'S PRIVATE MAC. THE FIRST THING THE THREE OF YOU ARE GONNA DO IS RUN A FIVE K. WEARIN' YOUR PACKS."

Max points to three backpacks lying near the track. "THEY WEIGH FORTY POUNDS. THAT AIN'T NOTHIN, SO YOU AIN'T GONNA HAVE ANY PROBLEMS. NOW PUT 'EM ON AND GET TO RUNNIN'. ANY QUESTIONS?" Max glares at the three of you, as if questions were a thing he wasn't expecting anyone to have.

Re: A thread for you to die in badasscopters July 16 2011, 01:23:15 UTC

"Did you not take meds this morning or somethin'."

That was the only thing that needed to be said.

Re: A thread for you to die in tank_rockarms July 16 2011, 01:38:40 UTC

"CONGRATULATIONS, PRIVATE, YOU JUST WON AN EXTRA TEN POUNDS IN YOUR BACKPACK."

1/2 badasscopters July 16 2011, 01:55:53 UTC

"Yep. No meds."

Goose shrugged and reached for his sack. "Fine. Ain't like I can't heft these things."

2/2 badasscopters July 16 2011, 01:57:00 UTC

Goose barely managed to lift it. Barely. How in the world was he going to do this oh god.

"... This thing weighs like a hundred pounds. You gone and lied to me."

Re: 2/2 tank_rockarms July 16 2011, 02:09:18 UTC

"IT WEIGHS FORTY, BUT YOURS IS ABOUT TO BE FIFTY UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO MAKE IT SIXTY, PRIVATE," barked Max in reply.

Goose, you are the absolute worst at being a soldier.

punchtheflowers July 16 2011, 02:32:24 UTC

"Max never lies," Vinnie muttered unhelpfully, barely audible, while shuffling over to his own backpack. You couldn't say he didn't warn you about boot camp before, Goose.

Oh god he was so hungry. Sunlight... please let the sun rise soon...

THIRD TIME WITH FEELING boxingmidget July 16 2011, 03:57:35 UTC

Meanwhile Mac is trying to get this shit started. Don't mind him.

Okay he went to just shut up and put that sack on his back as instructed.

"Oof." It wasn't too much weight for Mac, of course. But it was a lot for 4AM. And it will be a lot after running a while.

Re: THIRD TIME WITH FEELING tank_rockarms July 16 2011, 04:16:41 UTC

Max walked over to Goose and his backpack and pulled a weight like one might use for a dumbbell out of his cargo pants pocket (why was he carrying that around in there?) and then lightly dropped it into Goose's pack. "FIVE KILOMETERS. TWENTY LAPS. LAST ONE TO FINISH HAS TO DO FIFTY EXTRA PUSHUPS."

If Max had been the sort to have guns function for him, this would have been the time to use one. But as they didn't, he'd have to make do with his voice. "READY. SET. GO."

capslock abuse boxingmidget July 16 2011, 15:02:56 UTC

AND HE'S OFF.

...HE SEEMS TO BE KIND OF INTO IT? HE HAS ENERGY?

YEAH HE WILL BE LIKE THAT.

FOR NOW.

Re: capslock abuse badasscopters July 16 2011, 17:04:40 UTC

Goose attempted to run.

The only result was him tripping, falling flat on his face, and feeling the weight bruise his back.

Ow. Owww. OWWW.

Re: capslock abuse punchtheflowers July 16 2011, 21:15:27 UTC

Vinnie was going at a sluggish jog, still feeling half-asleep. Whatever happened to let the Venusaur get an hour or two of sunlight in because I've been a Bulbasaur before and I know what that's like, Max?

He wasn't coming in last at least. Just gonna. Save his energy. For the long haul.

Eyelids... drooping...

No, this is capslock absue tank_rockarms July 17 2011, 01:29:19 UTC

"PRIVATE GOOSE, GET YOUR ASS OFF THE TRACK. PRIVATE VINNIE, DO I GOTTA GET OUT THERE WITH A FLAMETHROWER TO LIGHT A FIRE UNDER YOUR ASS TO GET YOU TO MOVE? YOU THINK YOU'RE TIRED I ONLY HAD TWO HOURS OF SLEEP, I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT TODAY."

You could see every single vein in Max's neck and forearms as he yelled his words of encouragement. It was utterly terrifying.

"THE ONLY ONE-A YOU EVEN DOIN' A HALFASSED JOB'S PRIVATE MAC. GET. MOVIN."

Re: No, this is capslock absue boxingmidget July 17 2011, 04:44:34 UTC

Just watch though, this kid might be dead after all of this is over. No, he will be dead.

But for now, he's still trying. Even if he's sweating like a waterfall right now.

Re: No, this is capslock absue punchtheflowers July 17 2011, 04:49:34 UTC

Oh god, he just had to break out threats of fire, didn't he. Actually, Vinnie had no doubt in his mind that bringing a flamethrower to boot camp was a thing that Max Would Do to whip recruits into shape.

With great effort, he picked up the pace. The Venusaur still lagged behind Mac in laps, though. Was the sky getting lighter, or was that just wishful thinking?

Re: No, this is capslock absue orangestarbeats July 18 2011, 02:56:54 UTC

Jake just watched, arms crossed. "This is bringin' back some memories..." He had been on the receiving end of Max's yelling before. And the blue haired titan had drilled the fear of god into him, that's for sure. But he did know what he was talking about, Jake had to give him that, and he grew to respect the horrifying blue monster. And then came the Omega Land war, and it was Jake's turn to earn Max's respect.

As he watched, he thought maybe it'd be a good idea to get some water bottles ready, just so that they wouldn't die when Max was through with them.

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