Science of Fear, Zwitterionic - Part Two of Two
Title: Science of Fear, Zwitterionic (3/15)
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/OC
Rating: T (for now)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Glee or song related, just Dylan.
Spoilers: Through s02e11
Summary: Fear. It forces you to do things you regret. And that's just what happens to Santana, causing her to run away from the one person she loves the most. Can one stranger help her defeat those fears or will she just lose Brittany to her for good?
The arrival of Thursday brought with it a new set of nerves Dylan was not used to having. They weren’t because she was nervous about performing, she was actually quite confident for that. But Dylan was nervous about what she was going to say to Santana when she saw her and what she was going to tell Brittany.
Dylan had been toying with the notion of being honest and admitting what had happened to Brittany. She didn’t want to upset her by admitting she had basically made out with her best friend when it was obvious that Dylan liked Brittany. She determined that it was probably best to let her know. She would tell her the truth and let her judge for herself.
As lunch time came around, Dylan headed towards the dance studio where she waited for Brittany to show up. As she paced back in forth, glancing at herself in the mirror, she thought to herself.
Dylan realized that she hadn’t been observing Santana as much as she had been in the last few days, all because of Brittany. But what happened in the time that she was distracted? What had changed Santana’s mind? It was easy to see Santana’s true feelings about her fear and sadness but she was unsure what her motives were.
She had been shocked by Santana’s sudden change in personality. It was obvious the smaller girl was struggling to be herself, but she wasn’t expecting to witness Santana with all of her guards down. But then her new attitude was quickly undone the moment Dylan pulled back from the kiss. What had been a scared and lonely girl unloading her emotions seconds before had instantaneously become the ice cold bitch she was known to be.
But why the sudden change? Dylan wasn’t sure if she should understand that to mean Santana actually liked her, and was willing to come to terms wither sexuality or if it meant something more. Perhaps it had to do with Brittany. Dylan had drawn the conclusion that the two used to be very close. But apparently something had happened between the girls, long before Dylan even came into the picture. Even if that was the case, Dylan was confused as to why Santana had actually kissed her.
Dylan had been too caught up in her thoughts to realize that she was no longer alone in the dance studio and was shaken out of her thoughts by two slender arms snaking around her shoulders from behind.
“Hey, what you thinking about, D?” Brittany asked, giving the girl a little squeeze.
“Britt, hey… nothing really, just thinking.”
“But you look so serious,” Brittany pouts.
“I… uh,” Dylan froze, she had meant to tell Brittany what happened after preparing exactly what to say, but instead she had gotten caught up in deciphering Santana’s actions. “I’ll tell you later okay? Promise.”
“Pinky promise?” Brittany asked, releasing Dylan from her hold and walking around to face her.
“Of course. Pinky promise,” Brittany’s pinky grasped hers briefly before letting go rather suddenly. “Britt? You okay?”
“Yeah,” she replied quietly. “It’s just… Santana and I used to do that. She doesn’t do it anymore.”
“Oh, Brittany, I’m sorry,” Dylan says sadly. “Well don’t worry, I won’t steal it. Come on lets practice. I still need a lot of help with these steps.”
“Sure!” Brittany went over to start the music as Dylan shrugged off her jacket and placed it on the ground next to her bag. The sound of the drum followed by the guitar filled the small room and Dylan turned to face Brittany who had already fallen into the steps, beckoning Dylan towards her.
The moves for the first part of the song were relatively simple, with some basic steps each girl would do by themselves. Rachel was singing the main part so she wasn’t actually going to be doing much dancing. And being in a wheelchair, Artie couldn’t actually dance. He was going to be playing the guitar and harmonizing the verses with Rachel anyway. Brittany and Dylan were there to sing back up and dance, one girl on each side of Rachel until the end of the song where Rachel would join in with the actual choreography. And Dylan was cool with that, but as the breakdown came in, Dylan and Brittany were suppose to come together and perform some basic swing moves.
They really were quite simple, but Dylan was having a hard time maintaining her balance as Brittany twirled her, so instead of spinning off towards the opposite side of the room to continue her part of the dance, Dylan tripped and landed directly into Brittany’s arms.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Britt,” Dylan said as Brittany giggled uncontrollably. “I’m not very graceful, am I?”
“It’s okay, D, we’ll get it,” Brittany said, arms still holding Dylan tightly where she landed, looking down into blue-grey eyes.
They were alone and this was the closest Dylan had been to Brittany. She knew it was wrong to enjoy the contact but the attraction between the girls kept them in their current positions. All Dylan could do was stare up into Brittany’s magnificently blue eyes.
The seconds seemed to crawl by and Dylan swore she could feel Brittany brush her thumb gently back and forth over the t-shirt at the small or her back. Dylan’s breath caught in her throat as she saw Brittany’s eye flutter down to her lips before coming back up and meeting hers with an intensity she had never witnessed from the blonde before.
Just as Brittany started leaning in, Dylan’s mouth opened and the words she had lacked earlier came pouring out. “I kissed Santana.”
Brittany stopped her decent and pulled back, looking at Dylan with confusion. “What?”
Dylan took a deep breath, finally releasing herself from the blonde’s grasp. “Well, we kissed actually, she kissed me first. I’m sorry. I stopped as soon as I knew what was going on. I swear.”
“She kissed you?” Brittany had a deep puzzling look on her face. “Why?”
“Um, I’m not sure actually, I was asking myself that same question. That’s what I was thinking about when you came in before,” Dylan confessed to Brittany, not wanting to hold anything back at this point. Maybe the blonde could help her determine what had actually taken place.
“Oh,” Brittany seemed sad and it immediately pained Dylan to think that she had been the cause. “Why would she do that?” It was more of a question for Brittany rather than Dylan. “Why did you kiss her?” That question was for Dylan.
“I… it just sort of happened. She came to me and she was upset over something. I was just giving her some advice and she just… she just kissed me, so I kissed back. I stopped though, after I realized what I was doing.”
Brittany pondered what Dylan had said for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. “Why did you stop?”
It wasn’t a question Dylan was expecting. She hadn’t planned on disclosing that part of the situation. But she determined she was safe to tell Brittany the truth. She was now 100% certain the blonde liked her. “I told her I had feelings for someone else.”
“Who?” Brittany’s eyes met and held Dylan’s, locked into place as she took a step closer to the shorter girl.
“You.”
A small smile appeared at the corner of Brittany’s mouth as she took yet another step closer, reaching out and grasping both of Dylan’s hands with her own, gently pulling the smaller girl towards her. “Really?” the blonde asked.
All Dylan can do was nod. Brittany’s gaze is intoxicating and she couldn’t seem to move her feet. Brittany once again glanced down at Dylan’s lips. The taller girl was so close that Dylan could feel her breath on her lips. Dylan’s breath caught in her throat again as Brittany closed the distance between them and pressed their lips gently, but firmly together.
Brittany’s lips were the softest Dylan had ever felt and they sent shivers all the way down her spine. She couldn’t help but slant her mouth against the blonde’s, allowing her more access. Before she knew what she was doing, Dylan’s tongue lightly passed over Brittany’s bottom lip and the blonde responded without hesitation, opening her mouth to the warm intruder.
Dylan’s hands found purchase against Brittany’s hips as the cheerleader’s fingers meandered their way up Dylan’s back until they tangled with copper hair, never breaking the kiss. Her head was swimming and Dylan had no control over her actions. It was only after several moments when the pair broke apart, both seeking air, that the haze in Dylan’s head began to clear.
“Britt,” she whispered, pulling back slightly.
“Mmm?”
“Britt, what are you doing?” Dylan asked gently.
“Kissing you.”
Dylan sighed, “Why?”
“Because I wanted to.”
As much as she had enjoyed the kiss, she knew she shouldn’t continue the interaction. “We can’t Brittany,” she admitted sadly, “Artie.”
It was only one word but Brittany understood what Dylan was saying. “I know, but I wanted to.”
Dylan chuckled lightly, “I know, so did I. But we can’t. I shouldn’t have let you in the first place. It isn’t right.”
“But I want to kiss you again,” Brittany’s expression has turned sad by this point.
“I’m sorry, Britt,” Dylan soothes, gently lifting Brittany’s chin until they were looking at each other again, “but I can’t. Not while you’re still dating Artie.”
“And if I wasn’t dating Artie?”
Dylan smiled before answering, “I wouldn’t even hesitate to kiss you again. But I’m not going to force you to leave your boyfriend, Britt. Kissing you while you’re still dating him is bad enough.”
Brittany doesn’t say anything and Dylan doesn’t force her to. She had made enough mistakes in the last twenty four hours to allow herself to do something irrational. So instead she separated herself from the blonde’s grasp and turned to gather up her things.
Before leaving the studio, Dylan turned to face Brittany one last time. “Thank you for the help, we’re going to nail this thing,” Dylan said. Taking another deep breath, she leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Brittany’s cheek before whispering, “Let me know what you decide.”
Dylan brushed past Brittany and headed into the crowded hallway. Her lunch period was coming to an end and she still had to get through the rest of the day before their performance in Glee club. She hoped she could keep her cool during the entire thing.
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“Dylan? Hey, Dylan!”
Dylan was shaken out of her daydreaming in the choir room by a shorter brunette, realizing it was now afterschool and time for her Glee performance. “Hmm?”
“Are you ready? I asked Mr. Shue if we could go first,” Rachel informed Dylan.
“Yeah, I’m ready, sorry I was just thinking,” her mind had drifted back to the events that had taken place during lunch while she was waiting for the rest of the Glee club to arrive. “Is everyone here?”
“Almost, we’re just waiting on Brittany. Artie is getting his guitar ready.”
At the mention of Brittany’s name, Dylan looks up and around the room questioningly, wondering what was causing the cheerleader’s absence. Her question was soon answered when she heard the door to the choir room open and Brittany entered, following behind a rather pissed looking Latina.
‘Shit.’ Panic started to set in as Dylan thought about all the possible things Brittany could have told Santana after what had happened earlier that day. Dylan jumped to her feet and quickly made her way over to Brittany, meeting her halfway across the choir room.
“Hey, Dylan, sorry I’m late,” Brittany said innocently.
“Brittany, you didn’t say anything to Santana did you?” Dylan asked, voice barely a whisper. “About, you know, what happened?”
“Yeah of course,” Brittany said happily.
Dylan’s mouth was agape, “you told her about us? How we kissed?”
“Oh, no silly, not that. I asked her why she kissed you.”
“Oh… what did sh…?”
“Alright everyone, now that we’re all here we can begin,” Mr. Shuester’s voice interrupted Dylan’s forming question and before she could finish it, Brittany had grabbed her hand and pulled her over to their starting positions as the opening drum sequence began.
‘Alright, I can do this,’ Dylan thought to herself, ‘just don’t trip and fall into her arms again.’ Dylan chanced a quick glance towards Santana as Artie came in on the guitar. She took a deep breath and started singing softly, Brittany accompanying her, “Tell me where it all went wrong…”
Rachel was swaying in front of them, energetically tapping the beat on her leg with her hand until she came in, Dylan and Brittany beginning their part of the choreography. “Tell me where it all went wrong, maybe I can make it better. Tell me where it all went wrong…”
“Cause you know that you really upset her,” the three girls harmonized.
“When you act like a man who is cross with every woman he’s never had,” Rachel sang. “If it’s true looks could kill then you will be the first to make me mad,” Artie joined in from where he was playing the guitar. Dylan saw Rachel sneak a quick look at Finn before glancing over towards Brittany. She had her eyes locked with Santana’s.
Dylan and Brittany joined Artie and Rachel as they finished the first verse, “Then you've got to go… Maybe you've got to go.”
They went straight into the second verse, Rachel leading the way vocally, with the others harmonizing at the end of every line, “Is this the kind of fate you could contemplate, a breakdown at my very sight. I promise hidden words of tenderness in every single line that I write.
“Still you act like a man who is cross with every woman he’s never had. If it’s true looks could kill and you will be the first to make me mad. Then you got to go… Maybe you’ve got to go.”
When the breakdown came, Brittany and Dylan began their part of the chant while they performed the more difficult dance moves. It happened all too fast, but Dylan was grateful that she managed to stay on her feet and not find her way into Brittany’s arms a second time. Before she knew it, the four of them were singing the last lines, Rachel dancing in between them, “If it true looks can kill… Yeah it's true looks could kill.”
The song came to an end but Dylan wasn’t paying attention to the applause or Mr. Schuester’s words of approval. Her mind was once again focused on Brittany and what she discussed with Santana. Apparently the blonde was just as confused by her friend’s reaction as Dylan was and Dylan was curious to find out what Santana had told Brittany.
The other groups performed but Dylan wasn’t listening. She was focused on Brittany’s proximity yet obvious change in stature from where the two girls were sitting with Artie and Rachel. Even as early as this morning, Brittany was still acting her normal, touchy, flirty self. But now, after what had happened, she was keeping her hands to herself and Dylan missed them. It was probably for the best, after all, to keep Artie clueless about what had taken place between the two girls.
After Mr. Schuester dismissed them for the day, Dylan turned to Brittany, “So, um what did Santana say before?” she kept her voice low while asking
“What? Oh, not much. She just sort of got really angry,” Brittany shrugged, her eyes following the Latina out the door as she spoke.
“Oh,” Dylan was disappointed; she was hoping Brittany would give her a play-by-play of what happened.
“Brittany! Come on woman, my mom is waiting,” Artie called from across the room, having rolled over to the choir room door. “You have to cheer me on when I get to the next level in Halo.”
Brittany smiled lightly in Artie’s direction before turning towards Dylan. “I gotta go, D,” She said while standing, Dylan following suit. “I’m sorry.” She stepped forward and wrapped Dylan in a tight, lingering hug.
Dylan squeezed the blonde back, “I know,” she said before letting go. “I’ll see you tomorrow, B.” She watched the blonde walk over to Artie and wheeled him out of the door, turning briefly to give Dylan a small, sad smile. Dylan really had overstepped her boundaries and had no idea what to do about it.