Fic: Her Own Path
Title: Her Own Path
Characters: Faith, Giles
Pairings: None
Gen/Het/Slash: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None, unless you count a vague reference to a shop selling sex toys as something that needs a warning, in which case, consider yourself warned! Oh, and it's Faith, so there's a bit of bad language in here.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. I'm just playing in this pretty big sandbox.
Summary/Notes: August 2005, Faith has been travelling the country on her own terms and Giles is left to wonder what she's been doing.
This story is intended as a stand alone, but works as an introduction to my planned opus Paths Crossed which will be a crossover fic. Her Own Path is not, however, a crossover. This is all BtVS. Well...kinda.
I am hugely indebted to frogfarm and smhwpf for going above and beyond the call of beta duty with this one. What was a vague idea about field reports blossomed into something a whole lot more. Thank you once again guys! I have worked on this post-beta so any mistakes are all my own doing.
The paperwork never seemed to go down no matter what he did. It hadn't been like this in the old days, all this administration and invoicing. Hadn't it been better when all there was to worry about was getting the Slayer through the night so that she could fight another day?
Giles sighed, of course it hadn't. When the world had rested on the shoulders of that one girl it proved too heavy a burden to bear. The least he could do was take some of that from the new generation, fight some of their demons for them - albeit ones of the administrative kind. But still, he did miss the days when he had a more personal relationship with the girls, there seemed to be so many of them now that when he passed one in the halls he had to think twice to place her name.
He had tried not to show favoritism, these girls were thrown into a world which they had barely known existed - the world of the supernatural - but it had been natural for the Survivors to draw even closer in the aftermath of the closing of the Sunnydale Hellmouth. It seemed strange to him that he was already thinking of it as a passage from history, something a new Watcher or Slayer would read about and wonder how much was the truth and how much was fabricated to meet the goals of the current regime.
And then the group had fractured, the younger Slayers seeking out their families and trying to find their place in the world, the 'children' - it amused him to realize that somehow he always thought of Buffy, Willow and Xander as the 'children' - taking the opportunity to broaden their horizons. One after another, they had separated. Keeping in contact, telephone calls, letters, even emails, but it hadn't been the same.
Only Faith had stayed, she had confided in him once that she wasn't sure she could go it alone, that she was scared of what she might do, of who she might become. He had done his best to reassure her that she could handle anything life threw at her and he firmly believed that. She was a remarkably strong individual who had clearly learned from her previous mistakes. His attempts at reassurance had apparently been too successful, within a year of the exodus from Sunnydale Faith took her leave. She led a nomadic life, travelling from town to town, mostly following the back roads and never staying in one place for long.
Her contact became irregular and, partly to ensure her safety but mostly because he missed their interaction, he had instituted mandatory field reports, but Faith being who she was had to buck the trend. He smiled wryly; he wouldn't have it any other way.
The others would send emails with wordy explanations and ultimately dry tales of their exploits which would create in him a yearning for the days when he could at least read these kind of things in a book instead of from some flickering screen whose sole purpose seemed designed to induce migraines.
Faith, on the other hand, would make full use of the cell phone package and leave messages on his personal answering service. Long, rambling and often inappropriately worded messages - he had quickly learned not to play them back in company after the regrettable incident when he had spent the day with Dawn and a young Slayer, familiarising the new girl with the organization and had inadvertently exposed the poor teenager to an in-depth treatise from Faith on the uses she had found for items bought in shops that Giles would not admit to knowing about. At least, not in polite company. He had managed to stop the playback before too many details reached the ears of the impressionable girls - although from the looks on both of their faces they would not have been out of place at one of Olivia's Ann Summers parties - and since that time had made sure he would not be interrupted.
It struck him as odd that when he had first encountered Faith she had not featured high on his priorities. A fact that he still regretted to this day. She had, to put it bluntly, been the 'spare' and to his shame he had treated her as such, not so much pushed her away as not noticed when she left. And then, the whole mess when she went rogue. He shouldered a good deal of the blame for that incident, but it was in the past. And Faith had shown remarkable maturity on her return not simply by trying to forget it had ever happened, but by acknowledging the past, in accepting what had happened and dealing with it.
In truth, in a relatively short period of time she had done what he himself had struggled with since his late teens.
When he looked at Faith he saw the kind of person he wished he could be, and given the girl's shaky start, that was quite an incredible sight. And the thing was, he liked her, not in that way of course - he couldn't shake the feeling that it would be vaguely incestuous to think like that - but as someone he could relate to, someone he could talk to. Or at least, someone he could listen to whilst she spoke.
He missed her presence, and just lately he realized he had been missing her voice. He had allowed himself to be distracted by the minutiae of the day to day running of this whole brave new world and he realized abruptly that it had been far too long since he had gotten any messages from her.
She had been concerned about something, something she thought was important enough to mention and he hadn't quite managed to find an answer yet. Giles checked through the old messages, hoping to get a better picture of what had happened, what she was facing. Where she was.
Message One
Yeah, so what am I supposed to do with this thing again? Field notes? You really want detailed information on my activities? Screw that! You guys ever find out exactly what kind of crap I get up to out on the road and you'll pull my credit card and shop me to the cops.
Joking, Giles, geez! I can just about see that panic on your face now! I bet you actually spluttered. Never seen anyone do that 'fore I met you. Didn't think anyone actually did splutter, but hey - you live and learn. Least, I do anyway.
So anyways, 'field notes'. Like a mission report? Okay then how's this for a start? Last week I was starting hearing some rumors 'bout some vamps operating out of the sewers downtown so I checked it out. Turned out to be a bit more than just rumors. Busted a nest wide open - only four vamps though so I didn't much break a sweat clearing it out.
Pretty standard stuff these days, tell the truth.
One thing though, might be worth looking into, I dunno. My way out? Ran into this demon freak, all mucus and green scaley-ness. I swear it was like a freaking ninja turtle without the half-shell and had spent the last twenty years eating nothing but pizza. (Ask Xander, G, he'll translate for you.)
Anyways, this demon thing kinda hissed something at me then its eyes did this wicked cool yellow glow thing - looked like they were on fire on the inside or something - then it pulls this wicked sharp dagger on me. Definitely looking' to lay some hurt down. Thing was though, I just kicked it once and its head came clean off. Like, bouncing down the tunnels off. But right before that, like right before, this freaky looking black smoke came outta its mouth and the yellow glow thing went outta its eyes.
That kick? Pretty decent, I ain't gonna be modest about it, but there's no way that it should have taken that thing's head off. And that smoke? I swear, this was one of the freakiest things I've ever seen - and y'all know by now the kinda freaky things I've seen. 'Cause you've all seen 'em too.
Was a coupla days ago though, and there's been nothing since then. At all. Think it's time for me to move on somewhere new, word's gotten out that there's a Slayer in town and the vamps and demons are mostly laying low. Might be worth swinging back in a coupla months, just to keep 'em on their toes - or hey, you guys could maybe send someone else to town. Should be safe enough for now.
I'll let you know where I end up but right now I'm thinking, maybe it'd be good to see the ol' hometown again.
Laters
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
Giles sat back and checked the date stamp on the message. It was almost a year ago now, and despite actively researching what sparse information Faith had provided, he was still no clearer to knowing what was going on. The 'smoke' and change in eye colouring she described seemed to be contradicting one another. The yellow glow was something they were used to seeing in vampires, but Faith had plenty of experience in dealing with that kind of threat to be able to recognize it. The fact that she mentioned it at all seemed to imply this was new.
He didn't like the sound of this one bit; something new, something unexplainable, and something that had the outwardly fearless Faith worried.
Message Two
Remind me; next time I say anything about wanting to go home, not to? Did you know it’s been nearly ten years since I left? Since… since Kakistos?
Yeah, I know y’all thought I was going to make some kinda pilgrimage to the crater formerly known as Sunnydale, but hey, that was never home. Not in any real way. Not to me. Nah, home’s always been right here, good ol’ MA. ‘Cept now I’m here I’m wondering, why did I ever think this was home? I guess it’s just where I’m from, but…
Yeah, sorry ‘bout this. It’s not really what you wanted from a mission report is it? Hell, I probably won’t even log it once I’m done with it. Thing is, something about being back here, back where it all started, it’s just bringing it all flooding back and reminding me just how much I screwed up. I guess I should be used to it by now, hell if you look up Screw-Up in the dictionary, there I am, right? But this whole thing should be good for me, right? Facing up to the past, owning my mistakes, moving on? Or at least, that’s the kinda bull they used to force-feed us all in group back in Stockton. Hell, maybe that’s the answer. Maybe I should go back, serve my time, take the punishment. S’all well and good saying I can do more good on the outside, but what if I’m not ready? What if I’m not strong enough?
What if I can’t do this alone?
Anyways, sorry bout all this, sometimes I just need to… vent, I guess.
Here’s the bit you really wanna hear, ‘nother nest, just outside Fenway Park f’you can believe that. Looked like they were picking off the sports fans on their way out after the night games. Pretty slick set up actually, y’know, if it wasn’t for the whole killing folks thing. Organised. So I watched ‘em for a couple of nights, picked up their pattern and when it was pretty clear they were setting up for an attack, I hung about. Watched ‘em single out this tiny blonde chick who was on her own - guess they were going for the weakest of the herd or something. Well, they got her into this walkway thing that leads to the overflow parking lot and they were going in for the strike. I was just about to launch in when they all kinda flew backwards. I gotta say, first thought I had was this chick was a Slayer but then the vamps all just started burning up from the inside. Pretty freaky looking shit.
Then, when I get near her, the chick turns to me, grins and all I can see is that same weird damn yellow glow I saw back in LA in that ninja turtle demon thing. She says something 'bout someone coming soon, calls me “Slayer“, and then her head gets thrown back and there’s that freaky black smoke again coming out of her mouth.
When it was gone, she kinda fell to the ground and it was like she was a whole ‘nother person. Human. Normal, not a Slayer, never even heard of a Slayer. Turns out she blacked out during the game and had no idea how she got outside or what the hell was going on.
All she cared out was what the score had been. Course, by that time there was no sign of the vamps so she probably had no clue how close she'd come to being just another victim, but shit, you'd think maybe she'dda been a bit more clued up if something had been inside her. Like possessing her or something.
Any ideas what that might be about?
Damn, this means I have to file the report doesn’t it? Okay, all that shit at the start? It’d be kinda useless to tell you to ignore it, wouldn’t it? Just… don’t let any of the others hear it, ‘kay Giles? And I’m fine. Really.
I’m going to stick around Boston for a while, see if I can’t track this black-smoke, yellow-eye thing some more.
You know where you can find me.
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
He reflected that that particular message would have surprised most of the people who thought they knew Faith. The girl liked her masks, and he of all people could hardly fault her for that. It had taken years until she had reached the stage where she let the final mask slip in his presence. It had humbled him more than a little and had only strengthened his resolve to do everything in his power to ease her way.
Message Three
G - I told you I'm fine, I don't need counselling. And - no offence - but I seriously don't need back up. Of any kind. And I mean that. I'm fine, I work better on my own - and trust me, I've learnt a thing or two since I left this town first time. If I need help, I'll ask for it.
I promise.
Have you found out any more about that black smoke thing? I was kinda thinking - it sounded a little like what B said she's seen in that dream/vision thing back with that shadow box dealy. Might want to check with her about that.
And seriously, if you send anyone out here I'll be gone before they or you can find me. I don't need the help. Not right now.
Might be moving on soon anyway, I'll let you know.
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
The prospect of demonic possession - which had been the purpose of the 'shadow box dealy' as far as he could tell - was still a viable possibility, he supposed. It was just so unusual a means that he again found himself dreading the prospect that they were facing something once more of which they had no prior knowledge or experience. The fact that Faith had been the only field agent reporting these kinds of phenomena had meant that the matter had been pushed to the back burner. De-prioritized whilst the Hellmouths and Slayers were identified and dealt with. Giles worried that it seemed that it might be too late to begin the investigation in earnest.
Message Four
Giles, look, I know you trust me, I know you think you're doing this for my own good, but have you ever heard the saying "doesn't play well with others"? It was written 'bout me. I'm doing these reports, I'm checking in with you guys, and I'm not about to go all dark side on you. Trust me on this. I don't need the help. It'd only slow me down.
And I meant it when I said I'd ditch anyone you sent, I've had a helluva lot more experience living on the road than anyone you've got on the books right now so don't think I don't know how to go under the radar. If that sounds like a threat, then it really isn't. I'm in this for the long haul, I'd like to have your trust, hell I'd love to have a tiny bit of your respect, but I don't expect it. I'm fighting the good fight, and I do that better on my own.
So the report, right, that's what this is really about. Got some word that there was a group of vamps hanging out in a little town about forty miles outside of the city so I took a little field trip. Watched for a couple of days 'cause this town was seriously small, nowhere enough to cover the tracks of even one vamp never mind a group of 'em, but it's just off the interstate and it turns out that there's a lot of through traffic that doesn't quite make it all the way through. Weirdest thing I ever saw, it's like the whole freaking town was in on it. So last night I set up camp near the interstate off ramp and watched this whole damn set-up where one of the bastards would flag down a passing car like they were needing help changing a tire or something, and then the whole lot of them would attack. And when I say the whole lot of them, I mean that. The whole damn town - and I'd been there and seen some of 'em out on the streets during the day. In the sun.
'Course, when it happened I jumped right on in, but there is something seriously fucked up going on because these bastards didn't dust. I know what you're thinking, but these things were vamps, with the whole fangs, blood-sucking deal. But they didn't dust. Couldn't stake them either, well, I could, but it only pissed 'em off. Had to take their heads clean off to actually kill 'em and even then they were just… there. Bodies and heads in two different places, but still there.
So… I kinda torched the town. I cleared it out, made sure there were no humans there and set the whole thing on fire. You'll hear 'bout it on the news probably, but there won't be any tracks back to me or you guys. I made sure of it.
So what d'you think? Is there something out there that's like a vamp but isn't? Or a different breed or something? 'Cause even those Lord of the Rings rejects back in the 'Dale dusted in the end. I know you're just itchin' to get researching on them so let me know if there's gonna be any fallout from this deal.
Laters
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
Message Five
"Okay Giles, you know me, right? You know I’m careful, but sometimes a girl gets… an itch that she has to scratch. If you get where I’m coming from, and isn’t that just the right word to use? Anyways, I know you guys have always seen me as a bit of a party girl, and hell, it’s mostly the truth, I’m not going to deny it, but it’s not all I am. I just want you to remember that before you hear any more of this. And yeah, there is a reason I’m telling you this - ‘cause believe me, I’m not exactly going to keep quiet about what I get up to because I know what you all think ‘bout me and I don’t really care. Ask every girl you’ve got on the roster who’s past puberty and she’ll tell you the same thing, a fight gets you worked up and a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Specially if there’s no conclusion to the fight.
I know you know what I’m getting at here, so I ain’t gonna spell it out for you any more, you can stop cleaning those glasses now and put ‘em back on.
So today, I kinda got my ass kicked by a nest of vamps - ordinary ones this time, or at least the two I managed to dust were, but the rest of ‘em blindsided me. Yeah, it happens, sometimes the fight is too big and I know I can’t win. So I jet out of there when I can - ‘course, I don’t tend to get into it in the first place if I can help it but I had some bad intel on this one. Yes, it came through the channels and no I ain’t telling you who it was. I’ll deal with it my way.
It was just before dusk and when I made it out of this crap-shack they’d turned into home sweet whatever, the sun was still high enough that they didn’t follow. I’d planned on heading back to where I’m staying but I ended up in a bar, like I said, I needed the release. I ain’t gonna apologize for that. The music was halfway decent, bit too old-school for me but I’m sure you’d have got a kick out of it - yeah, I remember your record collection, shut up - and the guy behind the bar… well, I didn’t go home alone, put it that way. Thing was though, I took him to my room and things were going ‘bout as well as you’d expect and which I ain’t gonna tell you about ‘cause I know you’re about to hunt me down if I don’t get to the point. So here it is, just at the point where there wasn’t really any going back, his eyes turned black and he said - and this is exact - “You don’t get it, do you Slayer? War’s coming, it’s almost time to pick a side.”
I swear I’ve heard that before, or something like it.
Anyway, I wasn’t the only one who didn’t get it tonight ‘cause this guy was freaky strong but I’m still quicker. Threw him out on his ass and gave the neighbors a free show when I did, ‘cause clothing was pretty much optional at that point.
What’s he talking about G? War’s coming? I’m thinking right about now’s when you and the rest of the book geeks should be getting into research mode. I'd offer to help but, hell, I don’t wanna.
I’m clearing outta here now, this guy - and I swear he was just a regular guy, right up till his eyes did the whole special effects thing he wasn’t setting off any alarms on my radar - well, he knows where to find me right now so I don’t intend to make it easy on him.
I’m not running, I’m just not being stupid.
Laters
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
The change in Faith's tone worried Giles. He had not played back these messages one after the other before now and he couldn't help but hear the marked difference in the young woman. From the teasing sarcasm of the first message, to the heartfelt confession, to the masked worry and he knew he could hear more than a trace of fear coming through.
And of course he had blundered in and dealt with the situation in the worst way possible. His ham-fisted attempts to encourage her to accept help had only pushed her away. The walls that time and familiarity had eroded slammed back up overnight and her reports became clipped and angry for a while afterwards.
Message Six
G. Austin, nest of 6 vamps. Cleared.
Possible demon fighting ring, not found concrete evidence but it might be worth sending someone else down there in about a month or so.
Fyarl demon breeding program shut down.
I'm clearing out now. I'll check in soon.
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
Message Seven
G. Do me a favor and stop keeping tabs on me? Or at least have the decency to not use one of the girls I helped train. Yeah, you might want to look into setting up some kinda covert ops training course or something and make it damn intensive in Vi's case. Sweet kid, sticks out like a sore thumb right about now.
She'll be getting her report to you in a couple of days I figure, soon as she works out I've ditched her. And no, I ain't gonna tell you where I'm going because I'm getting pretty damn tired of the constant tails and 'are you sure you're alrights?'. Yes, I am alright. I'm old enough to know when to ask for help - and I will ask for it before it all goes to hell. I ain't that selfish anymore. If I land in the shit, you can take it as read that I will spread it around 'mongst as many folks as I can. But right now I ain't in the shit, I'm just getting by.
Figure I'm going to take a break for a while, want me to fill in a request form for that so you can add it to that pile of paperwork you're letting yourself drown under? I'm tired of this, and I think it's time for me to maybe get out and see the whole purple mountain majesty for a while in the daylight. While I can.
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
Message Eight
Giles - No.
'less there's an apocalypse looming, I ain't comin' in.
Never had a vacation before, don't you think it's about time I did?
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
Message Nine
G. I swear, you keep pushing me like this and I'll disappear. I don't need help, I'm not doing anything that any help you could give would make a difference to. 'Less you're up for drinking a whole bar under the table.
And for the last time I don't want counselling.
To delete the message, press one. To hear the next message, press two.
Message Ten
G. Get yourself another pet project, because right now I'm sick and tired of being number one on that list. Right now I'm heading down to New Orleans, and yes I'm following a lead, no I'm not telling you what it is and yes I'll ask for help if I need it.
Take it you've not figured out what those stake-resistant vamps are all about, what with you never having answered that particular question.
Storm's coming, could be bad.
Do us both a favor, back off a little. I 'preciate you think your doing the right thing but… just ease it back.
To delete the message, press one. There are no more saved messages.
Giles swivelled in his creaky leather chair and gazed out of the window. Ten messages, nothing particularly startling about them unless one read between the lines. Faith had been worried, she had been asking for help on her terms and he had tried to give her that help on his. But the gap between them had continued to grow despite - or perhaps as a result of - his best efforts. Her reports had grown terse, she had been defensive whenever assistance was offered and eventually she had limited herself to a tally of her kills for the week and then she had informed him she was taking a break and had not been in touch until three months later she had informed him that she was following a lead down to New Orleans.
That had been three weeks ago, on the 24th August 2005. Just as the city began to feel the full force of Hurricane Katrina.
She had not contacted him since, and although he had been in touch with all of his information sources in the area; there had been no sign. Was she avoiding him? Had she taken a break again? Was she even alive?
He was at a loss as to how to proceed, if he were to try to get in touch with her again how would she react? Would she understand that given the situation his concern was purely for her safety, or would she again jump to the conclusion that he did not trust her?
She had made it perfectly clear that she would not brook any more intrusions into what she saw as her personal life, and given her history he could certainly understand that, but… she had said the barman-cum-possessee had talked about a war coming.
He sighed, torn between letting her follow her own path and wanting to protect her. Three weeks though, it seemed that the more time went passed the harder it was to reach out.
Maybe she would be in touch tomorrow. He could wait one more day.
Characters: Faith, Giles
Pairings: None
Gen/Het/Slash: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None, unless you count a vague reference to a shop selling sex toys as something that needs a warning, in which case, consider yourself warned! Oh, and it's Faith, so there's a bit of bad language in here.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. I'm just playing in this pretty big sandbox.
Summary/Notes: August 2005, Faith has been travelling the country on her own terms and Giles is left to wonder what she's been doing.
This story is intended as a stand alone, but works as an introduction to my planned opus Paths Crossed which will be a crossover fic. Her Own Path is not, however, a crossover. This is all BtVS. Well...kinda.
I am hugely indebted to frogfarm and smhwpf for going above and beyond the call of beta duty with this one. What was a vague idea about field reports blossomed into something a whole lot more. Thank you once again guys! I have worked on this post-beta so any mistakes are all my own doing.
The paperwork never seemed to go down no matter what he did. It hadn't been like this in the old days, all this administration and invoicing. Hadn't it been better when all there was to worry about was getting the Slayer through the night so that she could fight another day?
Giles sighed, of course it hadn't. When the world had rested on the shoulders of that one girl it proved too heavy a burden to bear. The least he could do was take some of that from the new generation, fight some of their demons for them - albeit ones of the administrative kind. But still, he did miss the days when he had a more personal relationship with the girls, there seemed to be so many of them now that when he passed one in the halls he had to think twice to place her name.
He had tried not to show favoritism, these girls were thrown into a world which they had barely known existed - the world of the supernatural - but it had been natural for the Survivors to draw even closer in the aftermath of the closing of the Sunnydale Hellmouth. It seemed strange to him that he was already thinking of it as a passage from history, something a new Watcher or Slayer would read about and wonder how much was the truth and how much was fabricated to meet the goals of the current regime.
And then the group had fractured, the younger Slayers seeking out their families and trying to find their place in the world, the 'children' - it amused him to realize that somehow he always thought of Buffy, Willow and Xander as the 'children' - taking the opportunity to broaden their horizons. One after another, they had separated. Keeping in contact, telephone calls, letters, even emails, but it hadn't been the same.
Only Faith had stayed, she had confided in him once that she wasn't sure she could go it alone, that she was scared of what she might do, of who she might become. He had done his best to reassure her that she could handle anything life threw at her and he firmly believed that. She was a remarkably strong individual who had clearly learned from her previous mistakes. His attempts at reassurance had apparently been too successful, within a year of the exodus from Sunnydale Faith took her leave. She led a nomadic life, travelling from town to town, mostly following the back roads and never staying in one place for long.
Her contact became irregular and, partly to ensure her safety but mostly because he missed their interaction, he had instituted mandatory field reports, but Faith being who she was had to buck the trend. He smiled wryly; he wouldn't have it any other way.
The others would send emails with wordy explanations and ultimately dry tales of their exploits which would create in him a yearning for the days when he could at least read these kind of things in a book instead of from some flickering screen whose sole purpose seemed designed to induce migraines.
Faith, on the other hand, would make full use of the cell phone package and leave messages on his personal answering service. Long, rambling and often inappropriately worded messages - he had quickly learned not to play them back in company after the regrettable incident when he had spent the day with Dawn and a young Slayer, familiarising the new girl with the organization and had inadvertently exposed the poor teenager to an in-depth treatise from Faith on the uses she had found for items bought in shops that Giles would not admit to knowing about. At least, not in polite company. He had managed to stop the playback before too many details reached the ears of the impressionable girls - although from the looks on both of their faces they would not have been out of place at one of Olivia's Ann Summers parties - and since that time had made sure he would not be interrupted.
It struck him as odd that when he had first encountered Faith she had not featured high on his priorities. A fact that he still regretted to this day. She had, to put it bluntly, been the 'spare' and to his shame he had treated her as such, not so much pushed her away as not noticed when she left. And then, the whole mess when she went rogue. He shouldered a good deal of the blame for that incident, but it was in the past. And Faith had shown remarkable maturity on her return not simply by trying to forget it had ever happened, but by acknowledging the past, in accepting what had happened and dealing with it.
In truth, in a relatively short period of time she had done what he himself had struggled with since his late teens.
When he looked at Faith he saw the kind of person he wished he could be, and given the girl's shaky start, that was quite an incredible sight. And the thing was, he liked her, not in that way of course - he couldn't shake the feeling that it would be vaguely incestuous to think like that - but as someone he could relate to, someone he could talk to. Or at least, someone he could listen to whilst she spoke.
He missed her presence, and just lately he realized he had been missing her voice. He had allowed himself to be distracted by the minutiae of the day to day running of this whole brave new world and he realized abruptly that it had been far too long since he had gotten any messages from her.
She had been concerned about something, something she thought was important enough to mention and he hadn't quite managed to find an answer yet. Giles checked through the old messages, hoping to get a better picture of what had happened, what she was facing. Where she was.
Message One
Yeah, so what am I supposed to do with this thing again? Field notes? You really want detailed information on my activities? Screw that! You guys ever find out exactly what kind of crap I get up to out on the road and you'll pull my credit card and shop me to the cops.
Joking, Giles, geez! I can just about see that panic on your face now! I bet you actually spluttered. Never seen anyone do that 'fore I met you. Didn't think anyone actually did splutter, but hey - you live and learn. Least, I do anyway.
So anyways, 'field notes'. Like a mission report? Okay then how's this for a start? Last week I was starting hearing some rumors 'bout some vamps operating out of the sewers downtown so I checked it out. Turned out to be a bit more than just rumors. Busted a nest wide open - only four vamps though so I didn't much break a sweat clearing it out.
Pretty standard stuff these days, tell the truth.
One thing though, might be worth looking into, I dunno. My way out? Ran into this demon freak, all mucus and green scaley-ness. I swear it was like a freaking ninja turtle without the half-shell and had spent the last twenty years eating nothing but pizza. (Ask Xander, G, he'll translate for you.)
Anyways, this demon thing kinda hissed something at me then its eyes did this wicked cool yellow glow thing - looked like they were on fire on the inside or something - then it pulls this wicked sharp dagger on me. Definitely looking' to lay some hurt down. Thing was though, I just kicked it once and its head came clean off. Like, bouncing down the tunnels off. But right before that, like right before, this freaky looking black smoke came outta its mouth and the yellow glow thing went outta its eyes.
That kick? Pretty decent, I ain't gonna be modest about it, but there's no way that it should have taken that thing's head off. And that smoke? I swear, this was one of the freakiest things I've ever seen - and y'all know by now the kinda freaky things I've seen. 'Cause you've all seen 'em too.
Was a coupla days ago though, and there's been nothing since then. At all. Think it's time for me to move on somewhere new, word's gotten out that there's a Slayer in town and the vamps and demons are mostly laying low. Might be worth swinging back in a coupla months, just to keep 'em on their toes - or hey, you guys could maybe send someone else to town. Should be safe enough for now.
I'll let you know where I end up but right now I'm thinking, maybe it'd be good to see the ol' hometown again.
Laters
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Giles sat back and checked the date stamp on the message. It was almost a year ago now, and despite actively researching what sparse information Faith had provided, he was still no clearer to knowing what was going on. The 'smoke' and change in eye colouring she described seemed to be contradicting one another. The yellow glow was something they were used to seeing in vampires, but Faith had plenty of experience in dealing with that kind of threat to be able to recognize it. The fact that she mentioned it at all seemed to imply this was new.
He didn't like the sound of this one bit; something new, something unexplainable, and something that had the outwardly fearless Faith worried.
Message Two
Remind me; next time I say anything about wanting to go home, not to? Did you know it’s been nearly ten years since I left? Since… since Kakistos?
Yeah, I know y’all thought I was going to make some kinda pilgrimage to the crater formerly known as Sunnydale, but hey, that was never home. Not in any real way. Not to me. Nah, home’s always been right here, good ol’ MA. ‘Cept now I’m here I’m wondering, why did I ever think this was home? I guess it’s just where I’m from, but…
Yeah, sorry ‘bout this. It’s not really what you wanted from a mission report is it? Hell, I probably won’t even log it once I’m done with it. Thing is, something about being back here, back where it all started, it’s just bringing it all flooding back and reminding me just how much I screwed up. I guess I should be used to it by now, hell if you look up Screw-Up in the dictionary, there I am, right? But this whole thing should be good for me, right? Facing up to the past, owning my mistakes, moving on? Or at least, that’s the kinda bull they used to force-feed us all in group back in Stockton. Hell, maybe that’s the answer. Maybe I should go back, serve my time, take the punishment. S’all well and good saying I can do more good on the outside, but what if I’m not ready? What if I’m not strong enough?
What if I can’t do this alone?
Anyways, sorry bout all this, sometimes I just need to… vent, I guess.
Here’s the bit you really wanna hear, ‘nother nest, just outside Fenway Park f’you can believe that. Looked like they were picking off the sports fans on their way out after the night games. Pretty slick set up actually, y’know, if it wasn’t for the whole killing folks thing. Organised. So I watched ‘em for a couple of nights, picked up their pattern and when it was pretty clear they were setting up for an attack, I hung about. Watched ‘em single out this tiny blonde chick who was on her own - guess they were going for the weakest of the herd or something. Well, they got her into this walkway thing that leads to the overflow parking lot and they were going in for the strike. I was just about to launch in when they all kinda flew backwards. I gotta say, first thought I had was this chick was a Slayer but then the vamps all just started burning up from the inside. Pretty freaky looking shit.
Then, when I get near her, the chick turns to me, grins and all I can see is that same weird damn yellow glow I saw back in LA in that ninja turtle demon thing. She says something 'bout someone coming soon, calls me “Slayer“, and then her head gets thrown back and there’s that freaky black smoke again coming out of her mouth.
When it was gone, she kinda fell to the ground and it was like she was a whole ‘nother person. Human. Normal, not a Slayer, never even heard of a Slayer. Turns out she blacked out during the game and had no idea how she got outside or what the hell was going on.
All she cared out was what the score had been. Course, by that time there was no sign of the vamps so she probably had no clue how close she'd come to being just another victim, but shit, you'd think maybe she'dda been a bit more clued up if something had been inside her. Like possessing her or something.
Any ideas what that might be about?
Damn, this means I have to file the report doesn’t it? Okay, all that shit at the start? It’d be kinda useless to tell you to ignore it, wouldn’t it? Just… don’t let any of the others hear it, ‘kay Giles? And I’m fine. Really.
I’m going to stick around Boston for a while, see if I can’t track this black-smoke, yellow-eye thing some more.
You know where you can find me.
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He reflected that that particular message would have surprised most of the people who thought they knew Faith. The girl liked her masks, and he of all people could hardly fault her for that. It had taken years until she had reached the stage where she let the final mask slip in his presence. It had humbled him more than a little and had only strengthened his resolve to do everything in his power to ease her way.
Message Three
G - I told you I'm fine, I don't need counselling. And - no offence - but I seriously don't need back up. Of any kind. And I mean that. I'm fine, I work better on my own - and trust me, I've learnt a thing or two since I left this town first time. If I need help, I'll ask for it.
I promise.
Have you found out any more about that black smoke thing? I was kinda thinking - it sounded a little like what B said she's seen in that dream/vision thing back with that shadow box dealy. Might want to check with her about that.
And seriously, if you send anyone out here I'll be gone before they or you can find me. I don't need the help. Not right now.
Might be moving on soon anyway, I'll let you know.
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The prospect of demonic possession - which had been the purpose of the 'shadow box dealy' as far as he could tell - was still a viable possibility, he supposed. It was just so unusual a means that he again found himself dreading the prospect that they were facing something once more of which they had no prior knowledge or experience. The fact that Faith had been the only field agent reporting these kinds of phenomena had meant that the matter had been pushed to the back burner. De-prioritized whilst the Hellmouths and Slayers were identified and dealt with. Giles worried that it seemed that it might be too late to begin the investigation in earnest.
Message Four
Giles, look, I know you trust me, I know you think you're doing this for my own good, but have you ever heard the saying "doesn't play well with others"? It was written 'bout me. I'm doing these reports, I'm checking in with you guys, and I'm not about to go all dark side on you. Trust me on this. I don't need the help. It'd only slow me down.
And I meant it when I said I'd ditch anyone you sent, I've had a helluva lot more experience living on the road than anyone you've got on the books right now so don't think I don't know how to go under the radar. If that sounds like a threat, then it really isn't. I'm in this for the long haul, I'd like to have your trust, hell I'd love to have a tiny bit of your respect, but I don't expect it. I'm fighting the good fight, and I do that better on my own.
So the report, right, that's what this is really about. Got some word that there was a group of vamps hanging out in a little town about forty miles outside of the city so I took a little field trip. Watched for a couple of days 'cause this town was seriously small, nowhere enough to cover the tracks of even one vamp never mind a group of 'em, but it's just off the interstate and it turns out that there's a lot of through traffic that doesn't quite make it all the way through. Weirdest thing I ever saw, it's like the whole freaking town was in on it. So last night I set up camp near the interstate off ramp and watched this whole damn set-up where one of the bastards would flag down a passing car like they were needing help changing a tire or something, and then the whole lot of them would attack. And when I say the whole lot of them, I mean that. The whole damn town - and I'd been there and seen some of 'em out on the streets during the day. In the sun.
'Course, when it happened I jumped right on in, but there is something seriously fucked up going on because these bastards didn't dust. I know what you're thinking, but these things were vamps, with the whole fangs, blood-sucking deal. But they didn't dust. Couldn't stake them either, well, I could, but it only pissed 'em off. Had to take their heads clean off to actually kill 'em and even then they were just… there. Bodies and heads in two different places, but still there.
So… I kinda torched the town. I cleared it out, made sure there were no humans there and set the whole thing on fire. You'll hear 'bout it on the news probably, but there won't be any tracks back to me or you guys. I made sure of it.
So what d'you think? Is there something out there that's like a vamp but isn't? Or a different breed or something? 'Cause even those Lord of the Rings rejects back in the 'Dale dusted in the end. I know you're just itchin' to get researching on them so let me know if there's gonna be any fallout from this deal.
Laters
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Message Five
"Okay Giles, you know me, right? You know I’m careful, but sometimes a girl gets… an itch that she has to scratch. If you get where I’m coming from, and isn’t that just the right word to use? Anyways, I know you guys have always seen me as a bit of a party girl, and hell, it’s mostly the truth, I’m not going to deny it, but it’s not all I am. I just want you to remember that before you hear any more of this. And yeah, there is a reason I’m telling you this - ‘cause believe me, I’m not exactly going to keep quiet about what I get up to because I know what you all think ‘bout me and I don’t really care. Ask every girl you’ve got on the roster who’s past puberty and she’ll tell you the same thing, a fight gets you worked up and a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Specially if there’s no conclusion to the fight.
I know you know what I’m getting at here, so I ain’t gonna spell it out for you any more, you can stop cleaning those glasses now and put ‘em back on.
So today, I kinda got my ass kicked by a nest of vamps - ordinary ones this time, or at least the two I managed to dust were, but the rest of ‘em blindsided me. Yeah, it happens, sometimes the fight is too big and I know I can’t win. So I jet out of there when I can - ‘course, I don’t tend to get into it in the first place if I can help it but I had some bad intel on this one. Yes, it came through the channels and no I ain’t telling you who it was. I’ll deal with it my way.
It was just before dusk and when I made it out of this crap-shack they’d turned into home sweet whatever, the sun was still high enough that they didn’t follow. I’d planned on heading back to where I’m staying but I ended up in a bar, like I said, I needed the release. I ain’t gonna apologize for that. The music was halfway decent, bit too old-school for me but I’m sure you’d have got a kick out of it - yeah, I remember your record collection, shut up - and the guy behind the bar… well, I didn’t go home alone, put it that way. Thing was though, I took him to my room and things were going ‘bout as well as you’d expect and which I ain’t gonna tell you about ‘cause I know you’re about to hunt me down if I don’t get to the point. So here it is, just at the point where there wasn’t really any going back, his eyes turned black and he said - and this is exact - “You don’t get it, do you Slayer? War’s coming, it’s almost time to pick a side.”
I swear I’ve heard that before, or something like it.
Anyway, I wasn’t the only one who didn’t get it tonight ‘cause this guy was freaky strong but I’m still quicker. Threw him out on his ass and gave the neighbors a free show when I did, ‘cause clothing was pretty much optional at that point.
What’s he talking about G? War’s coming? I’m thinking right about now’s when you and the rest of the book geeks should be getting into research mode. I'd offer to help but, hell, I don’t wanna.
I’m clearing outta here now, this guy - and I swear he was just a regular guy, right up till his eyes did the whole special effects thing he wasn’t setting off any alarms on my radar - well, he knows where to find me right now so I don’t intend to make it easy on him.
I’m not running, I’m just not being stupid.
Laters
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The change in Faith's tone worried Giles. He had not played back these messages one after the other before now and he couldn't help but hear the marked difference in the young woman. From the teasing sarcasm of the first message, to the heartfelt confession, to the masked worry and he knew he could hear more than a trace of fear coming through.
And of course he had blundered in and dealt with the situation in the worst way possible. His ham-fisted attempts to encourage her to accept help had only pushed her away. The walls that time and familiarity had eroded slammed back up overnight and her reports became clipped and angry for a while afterwards.
Message Six
G. Austin, nest of 6 vamps. Cleared.
Possible demon fighting ring, not found concrete evidence but it might be worth sending someone else down there in about a month or so.
Fyarl demon breeding program shut down.
I'm clearing out now. I'll check in soon.
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Message Seven
G. Do me a favor and stop keeping tabs on me? Or at least have the decency to not use one of the girls I helped train. Yeah, you might want to look into setting up some kinda covert ops training course or something and make it damn intensive in Vi's case. Sweet kid, sticks out like a sore thumb right about now.
She'll be getting her report to you in a couple of days I figure, soon as she works out I've ditched her. And no, I ain't gonna tell you where I'm going because I'm getting pretty damn tired of the constant tails and 'are you sure you're alrights?'. Yes, I am alright. I'm old enough to know when to ask for help - and I will ask for it before it all goes to hell. I ain't that selfish anymore. If I land in the shit, you can take it as read that I will spread it around 'mongst as many folks as I can. But right now I ain't in the shit, I'm just getting by.
Figure I'm going to take a break for a while, want me to fill in a request form for that so you can add it to that pile of paperwork you're letting yourself drown under? I'm tired of this, and I think it's time for me to maybe get out and see the whole purple mountain majesty for a while in the daylight. While I can.
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Message Eight
Giles - No.
'less there's an apocalypse looming, I ain't comin' in.
Never had a vacation before, don't you think it's about time I did?
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Message Nine
G. I swear, you keep pushing me like this and I'll disappear. I don't need help, I'm not doing anything that any help you could give would make a difference to. 'Less you're up for drinking a whole bar under the table.
And for the last time I don't want counselling.
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Message Ten
G. Get yourself another pet project, because right now I'm sick and tired of being number one on that list. Right now I'm heading down to New Orleans, and yes I'm following a lead, no I'm not telling you what it is and yes I'll ask for help if I need it.
Take it you've not figured out what those stake-resistant vamps are all about, what with you never having answered that particular question.
Storm's coming, could be bad.
Do us both a favor, back off a little. I 'preciate you think your doing the right thing but… just ease it back.
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Giles swivelled in his creaky leather chair and gazed out of the window. Ten messages, nothing particularly startling about them unless one read between the lines. Faith had been worried, she had been asking for help on her terms and he had tried to give her that help on his. But the gap between them had continued to grow despite - or perhaps as a result of - his best efforts. Her reports had grown terse, she had been defensive whenever assistance was offered and eventually she had limited herself to a tally of her kills for the week and then she had informed him she was taking a break and had not been in touch until three months later she had informed him that she was following a lead down to New Orleans.
That had been three weeks ago, on the 24th August 2005. Just as the city began to feel the full force of Hurricane Katrina.
She had not contacted him since, and although he had been in touch with all of his information sources in the area; there had been no sign. Was she avoiding him? Had she taken a break again? Was she even alive?
He was at a loss as to how to proceed, if he were to try to get in touch with her again how would she react? Would she understand that given the situation his concern was purely for her safety, or would she again jump to the conclusion that he did not trust her?
She had made it perfectly clear that she would not brook any more intrusions into what she saw as her personal life, and given her history he could certainly understand that, but… she had said the barman-cum-possessee had talked about a war coming.
He sighed, torn between letting her follow her own path and wanting to protect her. Three weeks though, it seemed that the more time went passed the harder it was to reach out.
Maybe she would be in touch tomorrow. He could wait one more day.