fic: Halloween
Title: Halloween
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Puck, Brittany/Marisa, Quinn/Alyson, Artie, Tina, Mike/Wendy, Kat Tyler, Emma/Jack, Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Figgins, OCs
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A Halloween party and then a Halloween prank.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~8,950
Spoilers: spoilers for the movie, Reservoir Dogs.
A/N: Follows Making a Splash. Yes, Artie's costume came from Community. Thanks to bradstev on ff.net for the idea about the janitors.
2nd A/N: Yes, I know how long it's been. Summer is like kryptonite for my creativity apparently. However, as an apology and partly to kick my ass in gear and finish this craziness, there will be daily updates for the next 5 days. Seriously. Thank you for your patience.
3rd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
Rachel's glad that no one, faculty or students, really seem to notice or investigate odd things around the school. It makes pranking so much easier, especially this Halloween prank.
There are still about two weeks before the holiday and it's three in the morning. As she hangs piñatas in strategic places, Rachel can't help but wonder if anyone will notice, despite knowing she's usually surrounded by the unobservant.
…
Rachel's just about to enter the choir room when she's yanked away from the door. Agitated, she turns to find Noah looking sheepish.
"Sorry bro," he says. "I know how you hate that. But I had to ask you something."
"What Noah?"
"Halloween's on Monday."
"That's not a question," Rachel points out.
"Shouldn't the prankster be striking?" he whispers.
"It's taken care of Noah," Rachel hisses. "I'll fill you in this weekend. All right?"
"Awesome. Definitely. Of course. Should have known not to doubt you."
Rachel just shakes her head. "Can we go to glee now, please?"
…
"Okay, so first order of business," Mr. Schue says. "Apparently Puck and Artie have prepared a duet for us."
He sits down as sporadic clapping fills the room. Puck and Artie move to the front of the room.
"So Artie and I thought it might be fun to do a duet together. And we talked about what song to do forever. We were thinking something classic like The Doors or Metallica."
"Told you," Rachel whispers to Santana.
"But then we decided it might be cool to not do the expected. So we're doing a duet from the musical, Into the Woods."
This announcement is met with silence.
"Uh, all right then," Puck says. He turns to Brad. "Hit it, dude."
As the music starts, Puck takes a step back as Artie begins singing.
Did I abuse her
Or show her disdain?
Why does she run from me?
If I should lose her,
How shall I regain
The heart she has won from me?
Agony!
Beyond power of speech,
When the one thing you want
Is the only thing out of your reach.
Artie rolls back slightly as Puck steps forward.
High in her tower,
She sits by the hour,
Maintaining her hair.
Blithe and becoming and frequently humming
A lighthearted air:
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-
Agony!
Far more painful than yours,
When you know she would go with you
If there only were doors.
Artie rolls in line with Puck
Agony!
Oh, the torture they teach!
What's as intriguing, Puck sings.
Or half so fatiguing, Artie sings.
They both reach for the sky as they sing, As what's out of reach?
Puck takes a step back as Artie continues to sing.
Am I not sensitive,
Clever,
Well-mannered,
Considerate,
Passionate,
Charming,
As kind as I'm handsome
And heir to a throne?
Puck steps forward and turns to Artie. You are everything maidens could wish for!
Artie faces Puck. Then why no-?
Do I know? Puck sings back.
Artie turns to face the audience.
The girl must be mad!
Puck joins him, facing the audience.
You know nothing of madness
Till you're climbing her hair
And you see her up there
AS you're nearing her,
All the while hearing her:
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-
Agony! They both sing.
Artie raises a fist as he sings. Misery!
Puck also raises his fist. Woe!
They turn to face each other. Though it's different for each.
Reaching out, Artie sings, Always ten steps behind
Reaching up, Puck sings, Always ten feet below
They inch closer together and Puck kneels, wrapping an arm around Artie.
And she's just out of reach.
Agony
That can cut like a knife!
I must have her to wife.
As the music ends, they both bow with a flourish.
Rachel jumps up, clapping. Everyone joins in.
"Well, Puck, Artie," Mr. Schue says standing. "That was great. And unexpected."
"You didn't expect it to be great?" Puck asks.
"No," Mr. Schue replies. "I didn't expect you two to pick a musical."
"Oh. Okay."
…
It's the Friday before Halloween weekend. As Principal Figgins eats his lunch, he says a silent prayer, asking that the prankster doesn't strike this weekend. It's been a quiet two weeks of no pranks. He's not stupid enough to think the prankster has given up. He's learned the hard way what that kind of thinking leads to.
Figgins wishes his budget would allow him to beef up security for McKinley. Then this whole prankster situation would have already been dealt with last school year. He could put up the video cameras he so desperately needs and possibly electrify all the doors once they lock at seven.
Instead, he's stuck with a half hearted security company that he can call if there are signs of trouble, except they respond with the speed of a dying rhinoceros and no one's ever been caught. Not that he's ever really had an inkling of a prank setup happening.
Only once. He'd been driving home from a movie one Friday night last year and he'd thought he'd seen people loading things into a truck in the darkness of the parking lot. The only problem is that he'd been stuck at a stoplight. And so by the time the light had changed, whoever he'd seen was already gone. All he could be sure of is that he'd seen more than one person. It had been very early in the prankster's career and so he hadn't given it as much weight as he should have. Most likely because no pranks had happened and so Figgins assumed that what he'd seen had been unrelated.
Now he doesn't know what to think.
…
Rachel’s been home for only about twenty minutes when the doorbell rings. She hurries downstairs and opens the door. Standing there with a suitcase, Alyson offers a wave. “Hey.”
“Hi,” Rachel greets. “Come on in.”
Rachel takes Alyson upstairs and shows her the guest room.
“Sorry it’s a mess,” Rachel says. “I tried to move all my dads’ stuff out of the way.”
“It’s fine, Rachel,” Alyson replies. “Thanks for letting me stay. If my family knew I was in town…”
“I understand,” Rachel says. “Trust me. Families are…complicated.”
“That’s an understatement.”
…
Quinn shows up next. Rachel directs her towards the guest room and stays downstairs to give them privacy.
She is surprised when Brittany and Marisa arrive next. Brittany hangs the garment bag she has with her in the front closet.
“So are you finally going to tell us what our costumes are?” Rachel asks.
“When everyone’s here,” Brittany replies.
“Where is Santana, anyway?” Rachel asks.
Brittany just shrugs.
…
Santana shows up about twenty minutes later, looking sheepish. “Sorry. Lost track of time.”
“It’s fine,” Rachel says. “I’ll go get Alyson and Quinn and then Brittany can tell us what our group costume is going to be.” She runs upstairs.
“What were you doing?” Brittany asks.
“Trying to figure out what to do for Rachel’s birthday.”
“When is it?” Marisa asks.
“December 18th.”
“That’s like fifty days away,” Marisa points out.
“I know. But Rachel deserves something great and that takes some planning.”
When they hear Rachel’s footsteps coming down the stairs, Santana shushes them.
“Alyson and Quinn will be down shortly,” Rachel informs them.
Santana smirks because enough time has passed that she can mock Quinn about hooking up with a girl, especially if she comes down with JBF hair.
"And no teasing Quinn right now," Rachel tells Santana.
Marisa laughs.
"I wasn't going to," Santana grumbles, as she sinks onto the couch.
Rachel sits down between Santana and Marisa. "Sure you weren't."
"Busted," Brittany smirks.
When Quinn and Alyson make their way downstairs, they fall into the recliner.
"Yay, now that we're all here," Brittany says. "Our costumes are going to be from my favorite movie."
"Seriously, B?" Santana asks.
"Yes, San," Brittany replies. "Because I've been wanting to do this forever and I finally have enough people."
"What's your favorite movie?" Alyson asks.
"Reservoir Dogs," Brittany and Santana answers, Brittany sounding excited and Santana looking exasperated.
"Uh…"
"Yeah, no one expects that answer," Quinn says.
"Why?" Alyson asks.
"It's considered one of the best heist movies ever and yet we never see the heist," Brittany explains. "Plus Stuck in the Middle with You is one of my favorite songs."
"Is that the one playing while the cop's getting his ear cut off?"
"That's the one," Marisa replies, dryly.
"Huh."
"Don't bother trying to figure Brittany out," Quinn tells Alyson.
"She's right," Rachel adds. "Britt is like a Rubik Cube."
"Square?" Brittany questions, sounding hurt.
"Uh, no," Rachel replies. "Brightly colored and complex, but once you figure her out, you feel a real sense of accomplishment. I assume. I've never finished a Rubik's Cube."
"Have you figured Brittany out, yet?" Alyson asks.
Rachel shakes her head. "Definitely not.
Brittany grabs Rachel and pulls her until she's standing before wrapping her arms tightly around her. "Awww, Rachy, don't worry, you get me more than most."
"Thanks, Britt."
"Can we get back to our costumes?" Santana asks.
"Yeah," Quinn adds. "So we're all going to wear suits?"
"Basically," Brittany replies. "And name tags."
"Seems easy enough," Alyson says.
"I suppose you got us suits?" Santana asks.
"Of course I did."
"Are we sure they're going to fit?" Alyson asks.
"They'll fit," Rachel assures her.
"They will?"
"They will," Marisa says.
"It's just one of those things," Quinn tells Alyson. "B just seems to know stuff."
"All right."
"So what are we doing for dinner?" Santana asks.
…
A few hours later, they're cleaning up pizza boxes and deciding who'll change where.
"Did you write the names on the name tags yet?" Rachel asks Brittany.
Brittany shakes her head. "I thought maybe Quinn or Marisa could. They have much better penmanship than I do."
"Makes sense. Do we owe you anything for the costumes?" Rachel asks.
"Naw, they're loaners."
"They let you just take them?"
"It's amazing what you can get away with if you flash a guy, Rach," Brittany explains.
Chuckling, Rachel shakes her head.
"Never change, Britt."
"Awww, thanks, Rachy."
…
Rachel doesn't know what she thought wearing a suit would feel like, but for some reason, her first response is that it doesn't feel like she thought it would. She's currently sitting at the kitchen table watching Marisa write their character's names on the name tags.
"I feel ridiculous," Alyson says as she enters the kitchen wearing black jeans, instead of black dress slacks.
"Sorry, Alyson," Brittany says. "Mr. Pink wears black jeans."
"At least we get sunglasses," Quinn adds.
"Why am I Mr. Orange again?" Rachel asks.
"Because you would totally be the undercover cop of the group," Brittany replies.
"Thanks?"
…
Rachel volunteers to be the sober driver for the evening, so they all squish into her car and head out.
The party's already in full swing when they arrive. Brittany heads to the dance floor, pulling Marisa with her, while Quinn heads towards the alcohol with Alyson and Santana trailing behind.
Rachel goes off in search of Noah. She finds him in the backyard between two kegs.
"Went all out this year, I see," Rachel greets.
"Senior year, baby."
"If that's how you're going to respond to everything, then this is going to be an extremely long year," Rachel tells him.
"Beer?"
"No thank you," Rachel says. "I drove."
"No fun."
"Don't worry, Noah," Rachel replies. "I plan on having all kinds of fun after the party. I never thought I'd be grateful that Santana has such a high alcohol tolerance."
"I never thought I'd hear you say that," Noah adds. "By the way, who are you supposed to be?"
Rachel points to her name tag. "From Reservoir Dogs."
"Seriously?"
Rachel nods.
"Brittany totally has you guys wrapped around her little finger."
"Who are you supposed to be?" Rachel asks.
"John McClane. From Die Hard. Bruce Willis?"
"I know who he is," Rachel says. "I just can't believe this is your amazing costume."
"What? It's awesome."
"You're in black dress slacks and a wife beater."
"I know," Noah says.
"And barefoot!"
"I know."
"Your idea of awesome costume seems to be whatever you happen to have in your closet," Rachel says.
"Well, you're in a suit," Noah retorts.
"Which I definitely did not have in my closet."
"Whatever, I look awesome."
…
Santana is trying to get Quinn to do a shot with her when Artie rolls into the kitchen, dressed all in black and wearing a very obvious fake goatee.
"Who are you supposed to be?" she asks him.
"I could ask you the same thing," he replies.
Santana points to her name tag.
"Mr. Blonde… Ahhh, nice."
"And you?"
"I'm Evil Artie," he replies. "You can tell by the goatee."
"Wow, so much effort."
"You're wearing a suit and a name tag," Artie accuses.
"At least acquiring a suit requires some effort on my part."
"Oh please, we both know this costume wasn't your idea."
Suddenly two cups are shoved into their personal space.
"What's this about?" Artie asks.
"It's alcohol," Quinn replies. "Drink it and shut up. Both of you."
"Very grumpy service here," Artie says.
"Agreed," Santana adds.
Quinn growls under her breath and takes a long drink from her cup.
…
"Can I get a beer? Or are you keeping this keg for yourself?"
Rachel turns to find Tina behind her. "Nice costume." Tina's dressed in tan cargo pants which are rolled to reveal black converse. She's wearing a white tank top with the British flag on it. Her hair is in a ponytail and there's a cigarette behind her right ear.
"Hey, you look familiar," Puck says.
"Noah."
"It's me, Puck, Tina," Tina says. "We've been in glee club together for over two years now."
"I know who you are, T," Puck tells her. "I meant your costume. I don't know exactly who you are, but it's really familiar."
"It's from a comic book," Tina says. “A crazy, awesome comic book with gods and superheroes and aliens and defending the earth and--.”
"Of course," Puck replies. "The Authority."
"Exactly."
"Very nice," Puck continues. "All you need is a British accent, or at the very least, some British phrases and you'd be perfect."
"Well if you don't get me a beer, I'll call you a bloody wanker," Tina says. "Does that work for you?"
Smirking, Puck hands her a full cup. "Perfect."
…
"I'm starting to think I didn't spend enough time on my costume."
Mike glances over from the driver's seat. "I think you look great. Candy striper, it's cute."
Wendy smiles as she looks Mike's costume over again. "Says the guy in the Black Knight costume."
Mike tries to shrug, but it's difficult to do while driving and wearing armor. "I couldn't find armor that resembled the French Knight, so I figured the Black Knight was close enough."
"Yeah, I still don't know who the hell you're talking about," Wendy replies.
"I know. And we'll be fixing that real soon," Mike assures her. "We're watching some Monty Python real soon."
"All right, I guess," Wendy says as Mike tries to find parking around Puck's house.
…
Kurt's in the kitchen, making himself a vodka Cranberry when Puck smacks him on the back.
"Hey Hummel," he greets.
"Puck," he replies, wincing.
"What is it with you gays and vodka?"
"Uh..."
"I mean you and Al here are just knocking 'em back," Puck continues.
"I told you not to call me that."
Kurt looks over to see a brunette about Rachel's height in a suit and a name tag that reads, Mr. Pink. She holds out her hand. "Alyson Tyler."
Kurt shakes the offered hand. "Kurt Hummel."
"Ahhh."
"What?"
"I've just heard a lot about you," Alyson explains.
"From who?"
"Uh, Quinn."
"Quinn Fabray?"
Alyson nods.
Kurt looks Alyson up and down. "Interesting."
Alyson nods again as she begins making herself a screwdriver.
"Well if you'll excuse me..."
Taking a sip of her drink, Alyson watches Kurt push his way through the crowd.
"What do you suppose that was about?" Puck asks.
Alyson just shrugs.
…
From his spot in the kitchen, Puck watches Finn down yet another beer. He briefly wonders if Finn's trying to give himself alcohol poisoning. He'd be more pissed about Finn apparently trying to drink an entire keg himself if Hudson hadn't given him two twenties the moment he walked in the door. Though Puck has to wonder what Finn is trying to forget.
…
Finding Quinn in the living room, Kurt grabs her and drags her away from her conversation with two Cheerios dressed as Sonny and Cher.
"What the hell, Kurt?"
"We need to talk," Kurt throws over his shoulder as he drags Quinn away.
They end up in the garage.
"All right," Quinn says, pulling away from Kurt. "What is this about?"
"I just wanted to confirm that you've finally embraced your gayness. And I figured that you weren't quite ready to broadcast that just yet."
"What makes you say that I've embraced my so called gayness?"
Kurt smirks. "I just met your girlfriend."
"Who?"
"Alyson."
"What makes you think she's my girlfriend?" Quinn asks.
"Besides the fact that your costumes match?" Kurt retorts. "The way she says your name."
"Seriously?"
Kurt nods.
Quinn sighs. "What of it?"
"So it's true? You're finally admitting it?"
"To a select few," Quinn replies. "I'm not ready for that conversation with my mom yet."
"Fair enough," Kurt says. "It's still exciting, though."
"I guess."
"I do owe Mercedes ten bucks though."
"What? Why?"
"Because I wasn't sure if you'd come out before graduation. She was," Kurt explains.
"Should I be insulted?"
"Course not. Coming out is tough."
"Thanks Kurt."
…
"Hey there loser," Santana says as she enters the kitchen to find Artie mixing himself a drink. "You put any alcohol in there? Or is it all soda?"
"You're bitchier than normal," Artie retorts. "Are you binge drinking to forget the pain?"
"Please, I've barely drank anything tonight. Besides, I could drink anyone here under the table."
"Yes, your alcoholism is something to be proud of."
Santana smirks. "I like the snark. Fine, I challenge you to a contest."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really," Santana says.
"Fine. What?"
"How about shots?"
"And when I win?" Artie asks. "What do I get?"
"If you win, you have the honor of being the only one to ever beat me."
"Woo hoo, there's something I can take to the bank," Artie scoffs.
"Whatever. Fifty bucks, then."
"Much better."
…
While most people begin scurrying towards the kitchen to watch Santana and Artie, Marisa stays in the living room watching the dance floor. She's not much of a dancer, though she knows Brittany is, so she doesn't mind watching from the couch. However, watching Brittany with Mike Chang is a bit…unsettling.
Marisa glances to her left at her couch mate. She looks familiar, Marisa assumes she's a Cheerio, because seeing her in red and white seems right, even if it's a candy striper's outfit. What has Marisa's attention is the apparent jealousy on the girl's face as she watches the pair slink across the floor. She wonders if she has a similar expression on her face.
…
Seated across the table from each other, Artie and Santana face off. Puck is overseeing the whole thing. He insisted that since it's happening at his house, he gets to be in charge. After the three of them argue over what the shot is, the finally settle on Jack Daniels.
Puck sets ten shot glasses on the table; five in front of Santana and five in front of Artie. He then fills each of them with alcohol. Everyone watches as they knock back one right after the other.
Once they've finished all five, everyone watches to see if either is going to puke. When neither moves, a cheer goes through the room as Puck yells, "Five more."
As Puck refills the shot glasses, Rachel appears on Santana's left. "Good luck, tiger," she whispers as she kisses her on the cheek.
"Where are you going?" Santana asks as Rachel stands.
"Elsewhere. I just brought some garbage cans over in case you guys puke. Because no one wants to deal with that."
"Thanks bro," Puck says.
"Yeah, thanks Rachel," Artie adds.
"Good luck, Artie," Rachel tells him. "You'll need it."
Santana smirks as Artie nods determined.
…
As more people squish into the kitchen, Brittany and Mike continue to grind on the dance floor. Marisa's definitely jealous at this point, but doesn't quite know what to do about it.
Wendy, sitting next to Marisa can no longer take it. She stands up and marches up to the pair dancing. She grabs Mike's wrist and yanks him away from Brittany.
"Whoa, Wendy, what's up?" Mike asks.
"Kort," Brittany greets, looking amused.
"Look I know you and I just started whatever this is, but watching you two dance like that is not how I wanted to spend my evening."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Marisa joins in, now standing next to Wendy, arms crossed as well. "Is that for two people that are dating other people, you're sure dancing seductively."
"She's means stop humping on the dance floor," Wendy adds.
Brittany smirks while Mike looks sheepish.
"Sorry," he says. "Britt and I have been dancing like this together for a long time. Sometimes I forget."
"Yeah," Brittany adds. "Chill out. We're just having fun. I'd be dancing with my girlfriend, but she didn't want to."
"Hey, I don't dance," Marisa defends.
"You want to be an actor and you don't dance?" Mike asks.
"How do you know she wants to be an actor?" Wendy questions.
Brittany chuckles.
"Because Marisa and Rachel are friends," Mike explains. "And we've hung out before."
"Oh."
"How about you and I heat up the dance floor?" Mike asks.
Wendy nods.
"Wanna go make out in the bathroom?" Brittany asks Marisa as Mike pulls Wendy onto the dance floor.
"Okay."
…
When the third row of five is filled with Jack, Artie starts to become nervous. He knew going up against Santana would be tough, but now he's starting to worry about alcohol poisoning. Because he's starting to lose feeling in his arms and that can't be good.
"Ready to forfeit?" Santana mocks.
Artie shakes his head. He thinks. Through his blurry vision, he thinks that Santana looks almost as bad off as he is. Maybe he can win this.
…
Sitting on the kitchen counter with Quinn, watching the spectacle, Alyson wonders if her high school experience would have been like this if she'd attended McKinley instead of St. Rose. When Quinn leans her head on Alyson's shoulder, she automatically wraps her arm around her.
"Having fun?" Quinn asks.
Alyson nods, figuring Quinn will feel it. "Yeah. McKinley kids are interesting to watch."
"We like to drink, you mean?"
"It's Lima," Alyson says. "What else is there to do?"
…
The third row of shots goes much slower. Santana does one, then Artie does and there's a lot more staring in between.
When they've both drank fourteen apiece, Puck gleefully begins narrating.
"Lopez is looking a little squeamish. I have no doubt that my girl will defend her title, but at what price."
"Shut up Puckerman," Santana slurs. "And don't call me your girl." She quickly swallows the last shot and slams the glass on the table harshly.
"And now it's Artie's turn," Puck continues. "He's definitely looking a bit green, but I know my man Artie is a fighter. He's not going to go down so easy. He's going to--"
"Shut the fuck up dude," Artie grumbles as he fumbles with the shot glass. It takes quite a bit of concentration, but he finally grasps it and drinks it. The shot glass is half dropped onto the table with a bang.
"Whadda think guys?" Puck asks. "Round four?"
Before anyone can reply, Artie grabs the garbage can next to him and pukes in it.
A collective "Ewww" goes through the crowd and people begin to slowly filter out of the room.
"Yeah, that's right," Santana crows. "Suck it, Artie. Oh shit." Santana turns in her seat and bends over, just managing to hit the garbage can that Rachel left.
"So disappointing, Lopez," Puck says as he helps her move the can into her lap.
"Fuck off, Puckerman," Santana growls once she's finished. "Like you've ever done fifteen shots in ten minutes with good results."
Artie gratefully accepts a wet paper towel from Tina and wipes his mouth. "Man, and I had such plan for that fifty."
…
Kurt's pretty sure he over did it. He decides to get some fresh air to clear his head. He chooses a corner of the yard that appears to be drunkard free. Sighing, he sinks to the ground.
"You okay?"
Kurt jumps, not expecting a question. He finds Rachel learning forward into a thin bit of light coming from the patio. He lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, hey Rachel. Just needed a break is all."
"Quite understandable."
"Why are you out here?"
"I needed a break from the drunks," Rachel explains. "I'd forgotten how annoying it is to be sober around drunk people. But someone needs to stay sober to drive home."
"That was nice of you," Kurt says. "To volunteer."
"I'm not spending the night here because we have no way to get home," Rachel retorts.
"Yeah, there'll be enough passed out drunks as it is."
To Kurt's surprise, they lapse into silence. After a while, his inebriation hits him like a ton of bricks. "I think I over did it," he says.
"Make sure you drink a lot of water when you get home," is Rachel's response.
"Can I ask you something Rachel?"
"I suppose so."
"You knew, didn't you? About Quinn?"
"What did I know about Quinn?"
"That she's gay," Kurt says.
"She is?"
Kurt sighs. "You can drop the act, Berry. Quinn told me."
Kurt feels Rachel's eyes on him, examining him, despite the darkness. He tries to not feel too self-conscience.
"Very well then," Rachel says finally. "Yes, I did know."
"Have you met her girlfriend?" Kurt asks. "I don't think she goes to McKinley."
"I have indeed met her," Rachel replies. "I introduced them."
"You introduced them?"
"And no, she never went to McKinley. She went to the all girls Catholic high school."
"Of course she did."
"I do hope you'll keep this to yourself, Kurt," Rachel continues. "Quinn not ready to be fully out and being pushed out would devastate her."
"Rachel, I would never," Kurt says. "I hope you know that."
"Oh, I know you would never intentionally say anything," Rachel replies. "However, you're currently drunk and so many of our classmates are currently surrounding us. I just worry. Quinn doesn't need that."
"Are you defending Quinn Fabray?" Kurt asks. "From me? Did I drink so much that I hit my head and forgot something? I feel like I'm in some weird alternate dimension."
"Would knowing that I'm concerned about how Quinn's negative reaction would affect Alyson, someone I consider a friend?"
"Um…maybe."
"Kurt, I know you think I'm a complete fool because I seem to forgive people so easily, but I think that might be because you see things as black or white, right or wrong and I'm not sure that I do. So, despite how horrendous Quinn's been to me in the past, she needs someone in her corner right now, specifically in relation to her sexuality. And I don't mind being that person."
Kurt sighs. "You're right. I just never expected to hear that from you. No offense."
"None taken, I suppose."
…
The dual puking in the kitchen, along with the late hour managed to clear out a majority of the party. Puck is currently on his couch watching Chang and a Cheerio grind on the dance floor. Brittany is next to him with Rachel's little theater geek friend on her lap. He can't quite hear what they're talking about but considering the blush on the theater geek's face, he has a few guesses.
Curled up together in the recliner are Quinn and her girlfriend, which is something Puck never thought he'd see. Even though she hasn't actually said it out loud, bringing a girl to his party is still a big thing. He wonders how Rachel made all that happen. Because even if they haven't actually talked about it, he knows his bro was behind it all.
Puck's interrupted from his musing by the entrance of Finn. Puck hasn't seen him in a while and judging by the weird red marks on the left side of his face, Puck is guessing that Finn passed out in the bathroom. Considering that Finn had basically been drinking straight from the keg, Puck's surprised that he's even moving.
He leans against the door frame watching Mike on the dance floor and sipping from a cup that Puck is pretty sure is more alcohol. Still as long as he's not driving, Puck's not going to police him.
And then Finn's eyes fall onto Quinn and his expression becomes enraged. He's quickly hovering above the pair before Puck can even blink.
"So you're gay now?" Finn growls.
"Finn, you're drunk," Quinn says.
"Answer the question."
Both Mike and Puck try to pull Finn back as he seems to lean closer to Quinn. He does his best to resist.
"Answer the question!"
"I've always been gay," Quinn says. "I just couldn't admit it till now, Finn."
Finn lets out an animalist howl and lunges forward. Quinn wraps her arms around Alyson and tries to protect her from Finn as Puck and Mike just barely manage to hold him back.
"Dude, you gotta calm the fuck down," Puck says. "You're drunk."
"Shut the hell up and let go of me."
"Sorry man," Mike says. "No can do."
"Finn, what the hell are you doing?" Kurt asks as he and Rachel burst into the room.
"Quinn's decided she's gay," Finn growls.
"There's nothing wrong with that," Kurt replies.
"And it's not something you just decide," Rachel adds.
"Probably not the time, Rachel," Kurt mutters.
"Sorry."
"I just… First Rachel. And now Quinn?" Finn says, relaxing, though Mike and Puck don't let go. "What is going on?"
"C'mon man," Puck says. "You can crash on the couch." He and Mike start to lead Finn over. "Party's pretty much done, anyhow, right?"
Everyone nods and heads into the kitchen.
"Puck, man, I'm sorry," Finn mumbles as he sinks on the couch. "I just don't know what to do anymore."
"I know, dude," Puck says.
Mike begins grabbing as many cups and bottles he can before heading into the kitchen.
"Things'll make more sense in the morning," Puck continues.
"Thanks man."
…
In the kitchen, Mike drops the cups and bottles into the garbage bag that Rachel got out. Santana and Artie are still at the table, looking miserable. Alyson and Quinn grab a chair as does Wendy and Kurt.
"Well that was dramatic," Brittany says.
"I don't think I've ever seen him that drunk," Kurt says. "Or that angry."
"Should we be worried, Kurt?" Rachel asks.
"You mean when he sobers up?" Kurt clarifies.
"I'm not ready to be fully out yet, Kurt," Quinn says. "I'm not ready to tell my mom and she should probably hear it from me."
"Plus, my family wouldn't react well, at all," Alyson adds. "Thank god for my scholarship."
"You really think they'd disown you?" Rachel asks.
"I do."
"Damn," Kurt mutters. "Maybe if I can get dad and Carole to talk to him, we can convince him."
"Finn's not vindictive, you guys," Rachel says. "I'm more concerned with him just blurting it out without even realizing what he's doing. His mouth sometimes gets ahead of his brain."
"What brain?" Santana scoffs.
Puck joins them in the kitchen, going to the sink for some water.
"Maybe he's so drunk, he'll forget," Brittany says. "I mean, think about it, he's already passed out once tonight. And he doesn't even know who Alyson is. Maybe denial is our best option."
"Do you get smarter when you're drunk?" Kurt asks.
Alyson gasps, but Quinn leans in and whispers something in her ear that seems to relax her.
"Apparently," Brittany replies.
"What about her?" Kurt asks, pointing to Wendy.
"What about me?" Wendy asks.
"I don't know who you are or if I can trust you," Kurt replies.
"We don't have to worry," Rachel says, staring at the Cheerio. "Do we Wendy?"
Wendy audibly gulps. "No Rachel. You don't have anything to worry about."
"Good," Rachel nods.
"Yep, still in the alternate dimension," Kurt says to himself.
Ignoring him, Rachel turns to Puck. "I think it's time for us to go. Is Finn okay?"
"Hopefully, he's passed out by now," Puck answers. "Don't worry. If he wakes up, I'll just convince him he had a weird dream."
"Excellent," Rachel says. "So Kurt, Artie, do you need a ride home?"
"Uh, do you really have room for that, Rach?" Artie asks.
"Technically no," Rachel replies. "But if you're willing to be uncomfortable for a brief period, it could still work out."
"How uncomfortable exactly?"
…
"I didn't agree to this," Santana grumbles behind Rachel.
"I'm sorry guys, but it's only for a couple minutes," Rachel answers.
"As long as you drop me off first," Kurt says from behind Rachel.
Artie barely manages to hold back a smirk as Rachel drives. He's not sure how, but Rachel managed to fit all eight of them and his wheelchair into her hybrid. His chair is in the trunk while he and Rachel are in the front. In the back sit Brittany and Quinn with their girlfriends in their laps; while Kurt is currently sitting as little as possible on Santana.
"Who the hell are you supposed to be anyway?" Santana asks Kurt.
"Richard Gere from Chicago."
"Figures."
…
When Rachel wakes up Sunday morning, it's still early. Feeling restless, she decides to go for a run, so she doesn't wake anyone else up.
She's tying her sneakers when Santana rolls open and groggily asks, "What's up?"
"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Rachel replies. "Just going for a run."
"What time is it?"
"You probably don't want to know," Rachel answers.
Santana groans. "Freak." And then she rolls back over, snuggling further into the blankets.
Rachel smirks and stands. She grabs her house keys and her cell phone before heading out.
She's not sure why she's so restless. Saturday was spent just as it usually is, with Santana except with Quinn and Alyson in the house, both couples stayed in their respective bedrooms. They ate takeout together for dinner and watched trashy TV. Despite all her grumbling about the loss of naked time, Rachel knows Santana was glad, is glad that Quinn seems so happy.
Brittany and Marisa had gone home after brunch since Marisa was supposed to watch her little brothers while her mom worked. After going home to shower and change, Brittany was apparently going to spent the afternoon at the Lawson house and keep Marisa company. Rachel's glad that relationship seems to be going so well.
…
A few hours later, freshly showered, Rachel rings the doorbell of the Tyler household. The door is answered my Mrs. Tyler.
"Good morning, Mrs. Tyler," Rachel greets.
"Hello Rachel. Lovely to see you," Mrs. Tyler replies. "Won't you come in? Kat's just about ready."
"Thank you," Rachel says, stepping inside.
"I want to thank you Rachel," Mrs. Tyler says.
"Oh? Whatever for?" Rachel asks.
"Spending time with Kat," Mrs. Tyler replies. "I know as a senior, your schedule is extremely busy and the fact that you still make time for her is just amazing."
"Oh, well thank you," Rachel says. "But I enjoy spending time with her. I'd always wished for a sister growing up. I like to think of her as my honorary little sister."
"That is so sweet."
"Hey mom, who was at the door?" Josh Tyler sticks his head into the hallway. "Oh. Hey Rachel."
"Hi Josh."
"You here to pick up the munchkin?" Josh asks.
Rachel nods. "Do you mind maybe picking her up later?"
"Yes, Josh, that would be lovely," Mrs. Tyler adds.
"We'll most likely be hanging out at my house," Rachel continues. "I think it'd be nice if you were the one to come over."
"Oh. Right. Of course," Josh says. "I don't mind doing that mom."
"Perfect," Mrs. Tyler says. "Well, let me go check on Kat." She climbs the stairs, calling Kat's name.
"You don't mind?" Josh asks.
"Course not," Rachel says. "Stop by, hang out a bit, give her a hard time, you know, be a little brother."
Josh smirks. "She'll hate that."
"Is that a sibling thing I just don't get?" Rachel asks. "You pretend to hate the other's very existence?"
"It is," Josh nods. "Although I think being so close in age, helps as well."
"Interesting."
Just then Kat comes bounding down the stairs with her mother trailing after.
"Hi Rachel."
"Good morning Kat. Are you ready to go?"
Kat nods as she pulls a jacket out of the front closet.
"I'll call you when Kat needs to be picked up, okay?" Rachel asks Josh.
"Sounds great."
"You have his number?" Mrs. Tyler asks.
"I do," Kat replies.
"Okay, well then have a good time, dear."
"Bye mom. Josh. C'mon Rachel, let's go."
…
Rachel spend the drive back to her house fully amused. Kat is so excited, she's practically vibrating. Rachel's glad she could do this for Kat, and Alyson too.
Though Rachel admits to herself, it a bit selfish. She always wanted a sister and the fact that Kat's become her surrogate sister has been great. And now, seeing how happy Kat is at just the prospect of seeing her big sister is causing Rachel to grin uncontrollably.
…
The house is pretty quiet when they enter. Rachel leads Kat towards the kitchen and has her sit at the table.
"How come it's so quiet?"
"Everyone's still sleeping, I'm sure," Rachel replies.
"Big party last night?" Kat asks.
"No, that was Friday night," Rachel explains. "Don't worry, Alyson knows you're here for breakfast. I'm sure they'll be down soon." Rachel goes to the coffee maker and starts it. Turning to Kat, she says, "I'm sure the smell of food will lure them out of bed. What should we make?"
"Uh, waffles?"
"Waffles, huh?"
"It'll give those lazy bums a chance to wake up slowly, right?"
Rachel smirks. "Right you are."
…
Santana wonders how big of sap she is that she's disappointed that she doesn't get to wake up with Rachel. No matter how many nights they spend together, Santana's favorite part has always been waking up still ensconced with her girlfriend.
As the smell of coffee and pancakes make their way further into her consciousness, Santana figures it's time to wake up. She pulls on a pair of sweats and a tank top before heading downstairs.
She finds Alyson hugging Kat and Quinn watching with an adoring smile from the kitchen table. Ignoring her instinct to mock Quinn, Santana waves to everyone and heads for the coffee maker. After pouring herself a mug, she wraps Rachel in her arms.
"Morning."
"Hey sleepy head."
"Whatever freak," Santana teases. "Waffles?"
"Kat's idea."
"I didn't know you guys have a waffle iron," Santana says.
"It is a rarely used item," Rachel agrees. "You want to set the table for me?"
Santana gives a dramatic sigh. "Fine. Since you cooked or whatever."
Smiling, Rachel returns to the waffle iron as Santana grabs plates from the cabinet. As she setting the plates down, Quinn jumps up and grabs silverware. Once everything's on the table, both Quinn and Santana watch with amusement at the excitement radiating off Kat. She's bouncing around and talking a mile a minute to Alyson who is listening with a grin.
"All right motor mouth," Rachel says setting down a stack of waffles and a bowl of fruit. "Time to eat."
"Fine," Kat huffs and sits at the table.
The next few minutes are filled with the sounds of clinking silverware and groans.
"Holy crap, Berry," Quinn says. "If there anything you can't make?"
"If there is," Santana replies. "She hasn't found it yet."
"Well as a vegan, it could be argued any meat product," Rachel says.
"These are vegan?" Alyson asks.
"They are."
"Huh. Never would have guessed."
"Me either, Rach," Kat pipes up.
"Thanks guys."
…
Santana makes Rachel sit at the table while she and Quinn clean up. Alyson and Kat are in the living room, catching up.
"You guys are being ridiculous," Rachel says. "I'm perfectly capable of cleaning up."
"You cooked," Santana replies. "We clean."
"Yeah, Berry," Quinn says. "For once, just sit there and relax."
"Whatever," Rachel huffs.
…
They spend the rest of the morning and into the afternoon in the living room with the TV playing in the background, just talking. Alyson's trying to soak up as much time with Kat and Quinn as she can. Every time she looks at a clock it's with a certain amount of dread since she needs to leave by three.
When the doorbell rings, everyone, but Rachel and Kat look up in surprise.
"That would be Josh," Rachel says, standing.
"It's only a little after two," Quinn points out. "I thought you weren't leaving until three."
"And I still am," Alyson says.
"No worries ladies," Josh says, entering. "I just came for a little mockery time with my big sis."
"Yay," Alyson says, dryly.
"Love you too, Aly."
…
The rest of the afternoon is filled with good byes and Rachel finds herself emotionally exhausted. She, Santana and Quinn spend the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching trashy TV. Quinn seems reluctant to leave and Rachel's not going to push it. Even though she thinks Quinn and Alyson are great for each other, she still feels bad about the fact that it's now a long distance relationship.
…
It's after midnight when Puck pulls into the McKinley parking lot. He parks in his usual spot, hidden in the shadows. He and Rachel quickly unload the laundry cart that Rachel “borrowed” from the locker room. Less than a minute, they’re inside the school.
“You are a god damn genius, bro,” Puck says as he pushes the laundry cart inside.
“I have become very efficient at picking locks, I agree,” Rachel replies.
They head to the janitor’s closet first for a ladder. Puck carries it as Rachel pulls the cart. One by one, they take down the piñatas Rachel put up two weeks earlier.
“Do I even want to know where you got so many piñatas so quickly?” Puck asks.
“Passionateforpiñatas.com,” Rachel replies. “They have an excellent bulk rate.”
“And all the creamy filling?”
“Bulkforabuck.com. They have an awesome bulk rate. Obviously.”
It takes a little over an hour to replace the three dozen harmless piñatas with the prank ones. They then return the ladder and the laundry cart to their appropriate places.
“Still pretty early,” Puck says as they climb into his truck.
“Yes,” Rachel agrees. “Enough time for me to get a decent amount of sleep.”
“It’s our senior year, Rach,” Puck says. “You gotta let loose.”
“Have you already forgotten the last two hours of our lives?” Rachel questions. “What would you call that prank we just set up?”
“Awesome,” he replies. “But then you had to follow it up by talking about getting a decent night’s sleep.”
“Because I’m tired.”
“Because it’s exhausting being Rachel Berry?”
“Do not mock me, Noah,” Rachel says.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, bro.”
…
When Emma arrives at work Monday morning, she’s surprised to find a post-it note on her computer screen.
Eating your lunch in your office, with the door closed today is an EXCELLENT idea. -a friend
So it seems that the prankster is going to strike today. Emma’s not surprised. Halloween seems like a very good time to pull a prank. She wonders what it’ll be. Her first thought is a Carrie reenactment; a shudder runs through her and she decides to stay in her office as much as possible. Just in case.
…
Principal Figgins is on edge. It’s Halloween. A prank is going to be pulled. He can feel it. The problem is that the prankster keeps the pranks varied; there’s no telling what could happen. He’d been half hoping it’d be something externally like a giant pumpkin blocking the entrance; because at least then he would know. This waiting game isn’t good for his health.
…
Emma sees Jack walking past her office during third period. She flags him down and he enters her office with a smile.
“Hello Emma,” he greets. “How’s your Monday going?”
“It’s just fine,” Emma replies. “I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me, here, in my office.”
“Sure that sounds nice.”
Okay. I’ll see you later, then.”
Grinning, Jack gives a half bow before leaving.
…
When Rachel and Santana decide to eat lunch in the choir room, she supposes she shouldn't have been surprised that the other glee kids would have the same idea.
"Happy Halloween," Brittany exclaims when they enter.
Besides Brittany sits an uncomfortable looking Marisa, Artie and Tina. Kurt and Mercedes are a few chairs over with Quinn sitting behind them next to Mike.
Santana sits next to Quinn and Rachel next to Mike and they start eating.
A moment later, Puck bursts in. "Huh."
"I take it that it hasn't started yet," Artie says.
"What hasn't?" Puck asks.
"Whatever is going to happen that means it's smart to hide in here," Tina says.
"I guess not," Puck replies. "I mean, I haven't heard any crashes or screams or any of the usual." He then slumps into the only empty chair in the first row.
"What crawled up your ass?" Santana asks him.
"I wanna see it," Puck replies.
"What?"
"Whatever's going to happen," he says. "I bet it's awesome…and orange."
"Orange?" Marisa asks.
"For Halloween."
"We'll hear about it all too soon, I'm sure," Rachel says.
…
Tony looks around the small break room that is for the janitorial staff only. Budget cuts means he doesn't have as many people as he'd like, but considering the size of their break room, he supposes he could consider it a small blessing.
He knows he should hate the prankster as much as the faculty, but he just can't. For one thing, the constant pranks mean job stability for him and the rest of his staff. He can barely clean up after various pranks with the few he has. And Figgins knows it, so he hasn't made Tony fire anymore people in the last year.
He'd been surprised to find an envelope taped to his locker when he arrived this morning. It had read, Anthony J. Briggs, Head Janitor. He'd opened it cautiously, as if it might explode, because at McKinley, you really never knew. He'd been shocked to read a heartfelt sounding apology for the chaos that was to occur later in the day, as well as a warning to stay out of it.
Tony appreciates the warning and the apology. He knows the prankster's beef is with Figgins and so he simply tucks the note back into the envelope and puts the envelope back in his locker.
He then tells the rest of the janitors to eat lunch in the break room today.
…
"Why do I get the feeling that your request to eat lunch in here isn't just to bask in my sparkling personality?" Jack asks Emma as she nervously stares out into the hallway.
"Excuse me?"
"You keep looking out into the hallway. Expecting someone?"
"More like something," Emma replies. "I assume you've heard about the McKinley Prankster?"
"It's come up a few times."
"Well, he's been sending me warnings about when the pranks happening."
"Oh really?"
Emma nods. "A lot of the pranks involve a lot of…mess and apparently knowing my phobia, the prankster has been warning me. So even though almost everyone else is covered in slushie or stuck to fly paper, I managed to escape those fates."
"But you don't know who it is?"
"No one seems to," Emma replies.
"Surely there must be some leads," Jack comments.
"Oh yes, there were plenty," Emma tells him. "But they've all been eliminated."
"Eliminated?"
"Well, there's no proof, so Principal Figgins' hands are tied. If he goes after someone without definitive proof…well, it wouldn't be good."
"Why do I feel like I'm missing something here?"
"Um, well, have you met Rachel Berry? Short brunette, usually in skirts and speaks far too properly to be a teenager?"
Jack chuckles. "I know exactly who you mean."
"Well both her girlfriend and her best friend were accused of being the prankster simply because of their reputations. However, when Figgins threatened to expel them without tangible proof, she began threatening lawsuits."
"Because they're innocent?"
"I hope so," Emma says. "But honestly? I have no idea."
Suddenly the hallway seems to be filled with chaos. All that Emma can see is students scrabbling about, orange paint, and what she hopes is fake blood. There are random little explosions that seem to add to the chaos.
"Thank you for inviting me to lunch," Jack says, gazing out into the hallway at all the pandemonium.
…
Puck's the only one who reacts when the explosions, screaming and chaos begin. A little too eager, he jumps up and tries to see everything out the small window on the door.
"Where's Finn?" Kurt asks.
"Maybe he's hiding somewhere else," Tina says.
"Yeah, we just came here because it seemed easier," Artie adds.
"Or he didn't get a warning," Mercedes says. "Remember on the first day how he didn't get a raincoat like the rest of us?"
"Yeah, you're right," Kurt agrees.
"Douchebag deserves it," Santana mutters.
"Hey, I know he was out of line the other night, but he's still my brother," Kurt says.
"Whatever."
"And then you wonder why we think you're the prankster, Santana," Kurt replies.
"I know why," Santana tells him. "Cause I'm fucking bad ass. But it wasn't me. I'm just glad that the prankster seems to have his priorities straight."
…
Because so many students and faculty are covered in either orange paint, fake blood and grape slushie, if not all three, Figgins has to cancel the rest of the day. The halls are bedlam as people rush to the bathrooms and locker rooms to clean up. A few people even jump into the pool, causing the janitors to groan because that means they'll need to drain the pool again.
Trying to restore order to the halls of McKinley after the three dozen mini explosions of various liquids is impossible. Despite hating that the prankster has triumphed again, Figgins has to cancel the rest of the day. Especially since many people had just left, heading home to clean up.
…
Rachel's not sure how it happens, but Santana, Quinn, Brittany, Marisa, Puck, Mike, Artie and Tina all end up at her house after the abbreviated school day.
"I say we toast the prankster," Puck says, raising his beer that he stole from the fridge. "For allowing us to have so many extra days off."
Brittany claps.
"It's hardly something to celebrate, Noah," Rachel says. "Just because this is our senior year, doesn't mean it's not important. We're going to fall behind and either miss something at the end or have to quickly breeze through something to finish everything we're supposed to."
"Maybe you should write the prankster a note," Brittany suggests.
"How's she supposed to do that B?" Quinn asks. "If we supposedly don't know who it is."
"I don't know. Maybe post it on the front door?"
"Or publish it in the school paper," Marisa suggests.
"Yeah. That," Brittany agrees.
"What if the prankster doesn't read the school paper?" Mike asks. "I mean, not many people do."
"I'm not going to write the prankster a letter, guys," Rachel interjects. "It would probably have the reverse effect."
"What's that supposed to mean, babe?"
"I'm sure the prankster, like many at this school, isn't a fan of my talent and would simply do the exact opposite of what I request out of spite."
"You really think he'd do that?" Mike asks.
"The prankster could be a girl," Brittany says.
Santana groans. "Don't encourage them, B."
"Relax, S," Quinn says. "No one's saying it's you."
"Hummel seemed to earlier," Santana points out.
"He was defending Finn," Rachel points out.
"Waste of time," Santana grumbles.
Rachel elbows her.
…
Looking down the main hallway, Tony sighs, knowing he has hours of work in front of him. So caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't notice the three guys in light blue jumpsuits behind him until one taps him on the shoulder.
"Yeah?"
"You look like you could use some help," the tallest says.
"Thank you for stating the obvious," Tony replies.
"I'm Ron. This is my brothers Tommy and Billy. We've been hired to help you."
Tony blinks. "Seriously?"
Ron nods.
"I'm not even going to question it," Tony tells them. "There's too much to do. Feel free to jump in anywhere."
"Thanks man," Ron replies.
Tony watches the trio drag their cleaning materials that they apparently brought with down the hall and get to work. He can only shake his head in disbelief. Just when he thought the prankster couldn't surprise him anymore.
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Puck, Brittany/Marisa, Quinn/Alyson, Artie, Tina, Mike/Wendy, Kat Tyler, Emma/Jack, Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Figgins, OCs
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A Halloween party and then a Halloween prank.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~8,950
Spoilers: spoilers for the movie, Reservoir Dogs.
A/N: Follows Making a Splash. Yes, Artie's costume came from Community. Thanks to bradstev on ff.net for the idea about the janitors.
2nd A/N: Yes, I know how long it's been. Summer is like kryptonite for my creativity apparently. However, as an apology and partly to kick my ass in gear and finish this craziness, there will be daily updates for the next 5 days. Seriously. Thank you for your patience.
3rd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
Rachel's glad that no one, faculty or students, really seem to notice or investigate odd things around the school. It makes pranking so much easier, especially this Halloween prank.
There are still about two weeks before the holiday and it's three in the morning. As she hangs piñatas in strategic places, Rachel can't help but wonder if anyone will notice, despite knowing she's usually surrounded by the unobservant.
…
Rachel's just about to enter the choir room when she's yanked away from the door. Agitated, she turns to find Noah looking sheepish.
"Sorry bro," he says. "I know how you hate that. But I had to ask you something."
"What Noah?"
"Halloween's on Monday."
"That's not a question," Rachel points out.
"Shouldn't the prankster be striking?" he whispers.
"It's taken care of Noah," Rachel hisses. "I'll fill you in this weekend. All right?"
"Awesome. Definitely. Of course. Should have known not to doubt you."
Rachel just shakes her head. "Can we go to glee now, please?"
…
"Okay, so first order of business," Mr. Schue says. "Apparently Puck and Artie have prepared a duet for us."
He sits down as sporadic clapping fills the room. Puck and Artie move to the front of the room.
"So Artie and I thought it might be fun to do a duet together. And we talked about what song to do forever. We were thinking something classic like The Doors or Metallica."
"Told you," Rachel whispers to Santana.
"But then we decided it might be cool to not do the expected. So we're doing a duet from the musical, Into the Woods."
This announcement is met with silence.
"Uh, all right then," Puck says. He turns to Brad. "Hit it, dude."
As the music starts, Puck takes a step back as Artie begins singing.
Did I abuse her
Or show her disdain?
Why does she run from me?
If I should lose her,
How shall I regain
The heart she has won from me?
Agony!
Beyond power of speech,
When the one thing you want
Is the only thing out of your reach.
Artie rolls back slightly as Puck steps forward.
High in her tower,
She sits by the hour,
Maintaining her hair.
Blithe and becoming and frequently humming
A lighthearted air:
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-
Agony!
Far more painful than yours,
When you know she would go with you
If there only were doors.
Artie rolls in line with Puck
Agony!
Oh, the torture they teach!
What's as intriguing, Puck sings.
Or half so fatiguing, Artie sings.
They both reach for the sky as they sing, As what's out of reach?
Puck takes a step back as Artie continues to sing.
Am I not sensitive,
Clever,
Well-mannered,
Considerate,
Passionate,
Charming,
As kind as I'm handsome
And heir to a throne?
Puck steps forward and turns to Artie. You are everything maidens could wish for!
Artie faces Puck. Then why no-?
Do I know? Puck sings back.
Artie turns to face the audience.
The girl must be mad!
Puck joins him, facing the audience.
You know nothing of madness
Till you're climbing her hair
And you see her up there
AS you're nearing her,
All the while hearing her:
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-
Agony! They both sing.
Artie raises a fist as he sings. Misery!
Puck also raises his fist. Woe!
They turn to face each other. Though it's different for each.
Reaching out, Artie sings, Always ten steps behind
Reaching up, Puck sings, Always ten feet below
They inch closer together and Puck kneels, wrapping an arm around Artie.
And she's just out of reach.
Agony
That can cut like a knife!
I must have her to wife.
As the music ends, they both bow with a flourish.
Rachel jumps up, clapping. Everyone joins in.
"Well, Puck, Artie," Mr. Schue says standing. "That was great. And unexpected."
"You didn't expect it to be great?" Puck asks.
"No," Mr. Schue replies. "I didn't expect you two to pick a musical."
"Oh. Okay."
…
It's the Friday before Halloween weekend. As Principal Figgins eats his lunch, he says a silent prayer, asking that the prankster doesn't strike this weekend. It's been a quiet two weeks of no pranks. He's not stupid enough to think the prankster has given up. He's learned the hard way what that kind of thinking leads to.
Figgins wishes his budget would allow him to beef up security for McKinley. Then this whole prankster situation would have already been dealt with last school year. He could put up the video cameras he so desperately needs and possibly electrify all the doors once they lock at seven.
Instead, he's stuck with a half hearted security company that he can call if there are signs of trouble, except they respond with the speed of a dying rhinoceros and no one's ever been caught. Not that he's ever really had an inkling of a prank setup happening.
Only once. He'd been driving home from a movie one Friday night last year and he'd thought he'd seen people loading things into a truck in the darkness of the parking lot. The only problem is that he'd been stuck at a stoplight. And so by the time the light had changed, whoever he'd seen was already gone. All he could be sure of is that he'd seen more than one person. It had been very early in the prankster's career and so he hadn't given it as much weight as he should have. Most likely because no pranks had happened and so Figgins assumed that what he'd seen had been unrelated.
Now he doesn't know what to think.
…
Rachel’s been home for only about twenty minutes when the doorbell rings. She hurries downstairs and opens the door. Standing there with a suitcase, Alyson offers a wave. “Hey.”
“Hi,” Rachel greets. “Come on in.”
Rachel takes Alyson upstairs and shows her the guest room.
“Sorry it’s a mess,” Rachel says. “I tried to move all my dads’ stuff out of the way.”
“It’s fine, Rachel,” Alyson replies. “Thanks for letting me stay. If my family knew I was in town…”
“I understand,” Rachel says. “Trust me. Families are…complicated.”
“That’s an understatement.”
…
Quinn shows up next. Rachel directs her towards the guest room and stays downstairs to give them privacy.
She is surprised when Brittany and Marisa arrive next. Brittany hangs the garment bag she has with her in the front closet.
“So are you finally going to tell us what our costumes are?” Rachel asks.
“When everyone’s here,” Brittany replies.
“Where is Santana, anyway?” Rachel asks.
Brittany just shrugs.
…
Santana shows up about twenty minutes later, looking sheepish. “Sorry. Lost track of time.”
“It’s fine,” Rachel says. “I’ll go get Alyson and Quinn and then Brittany can tell us what our group costume is going to be.” She runs upstairs.
“What were you doing?” Brittany asks.
“Trying to figure out what to do for Rachel’s birthday.”
“When is it?” Marisa asks.
“December 18th.”
“That’s like fifty days away,” Marisa points out.
“I know. But Rachel deserves something great and that takes some planning.”
When they hear Rachel’s footsteps coming down the stairs, Santana shushes them.
“Alyson and Quinn will be down shortly,” Rachel informs them.
Santana smirks because enough time has passed that she can mock Quinn about hooking up with a girl, especially if she comes down with JBF hair.
"And no teasing Quinn right now," Rachel tells Santana.
Marisa laughs.
"I wasn't going to," Santana grumbles, as she sinks onto the couch.
Rachel sits down between Santana and Marisa. "Sure you weren't."
"Busted," Brittany smirks.
When Quinn and Alyson make their way downstairs, they fall into the recliner.
"Yay, now that we're all here," Brittany says. "Our costumes are going to be from my favorite movie."
"Seriously, B?" Santana asks.
"Yes, San," Brittany replies. "Because I've been wanting to do this forever and I finally have enough people."
"What's your favorite movie?" Alyson asks.
"Reservoir Dogs," Brittany and Santana answers, Brittany sounding excited and Santana looking exasperated.
"Uh…"
"Yeah, no one expects that answer," Quinn says.
"Why?" Alyson asks.
"It's considered one of the best heist movies ever and yet we never see the heist," Brittany explains. "Plus Stuck in the Middle with You is one of my favorite songs."
"Is that the one playing while the cop's getting his ear cut off?"
"That's the one," Marisa replies, dryly.
"Huh."
"Don't bother trying to figure Brittany out," Quinn tells Alyson.
"She's right," Rachel adds. "Britt is like a Rubik Cube."
"Square?" Brittany questions, sounding hurt.
"Uh, no," Rachel replies. "Brightly colored and complex, but once you figure her out, you feel a real sense of accomplishment. I assume. I've never finished a Rubik's Cube."
"Have you figured Brittany out, yet?" Alyson asks.
Rachel shakes her head. "Definitely not.
Brittany grabs Rachel and pulls her until she's standing before wrapping her arms tightly around her. "Awww, Rachy, don't worry, you get me more than most."
"Thanks, Britt."
"Can we get back to our costumes?" Santana asks.
"Yeah," Quinn adds. "So we're all going to wear suits?"
"Basically," Brittany replies. "And name tags."
"Seems easy enough," Alyson says.
"I suppose you got us suits?" Santana asks.
"Of course I did."
"Are we sure they're going to fit?" Alyson asks.
"They'll fit," Rachel assures her.
"They will?"
"They will," Marisa says.
"It's just one of those things," Quinn tells Alyson. "B just seems to know stuff."
"All right."
"So what are we doing for dinner?" Santana asks.
…
A few hours later, they're cleaning up pizza boxes and deciding who'll change where.
"Did you write the names on the name tags yet?" Rachel asks Brittany.
Brittany shakes her head. "I thought maybe Quinn or Marisa could. They have much better penmanship than I do."
"Makes sense. Do we owe you anything for the costumes?" Rachel asks.
"Naw, they're loaners."
"They let you just take them?"
"It's amazing what you can get away with if you flash a guy, Rach," Brittany explains.
Chuckling, Rachel shakes her head.
"Never change, Britt."
"Awww, thanks, Rachy."
…
Rachel doesn't know what she thought wearing a suit would feel like, but for some reason, her first response is that it doesn't feel like she thought it would. She's currently sitting at the kitchen table watching Marisa write their character's names on the name tags.
"I feel ridiculous," Alyson says as she enters the kitchen wearing black jeans, instead of black dress slacks.
"Sorry, Alyson," Brittany says. "Mr. Pink wears black jeans."
"At least we get sunglasses," Quinn adds.
"Why am I Mr. Orange again?" Rachel asks.
"Because you would totally be the undercover cop of the group," Brittany replies.
"Thanks?"
…
Rachel volunteers to be the sober driver for the evening, so they all squish into her car and head out.
The party's already in full swing when they arrive. Brittany heads to the dance floor, pulling Marisa with her, while Quinn heads towards the alcohol with Alyson and Santana trailing behind.
Rachel goes off in search of Noah. She finds him in the backyard between two kegs.
"Went all out this year, I see," Rachel greets.
"Senior year, baby."
"If that's how you're going to respond to everything, then this is going to be an extremely long year," Rachel tells him.
"Beer?"
"No thank you," Rachel says. "I drove."
"No fun."
"Don't worry, Noah," Rachel replies. "I plan on having all kinds of fun after the party. I never thought I'd be grateful that Santana has such a high alcohol tolerance."
"I never thought I'd hear you say that," Noah adds. "By the way, who are you supposed to be?"
Rachel points to her name tag. "From Reservoir Dogs."
"Seriously?"
Rachel nods.
"Brittany totally has you guys wrapped around her little finger."
"Who are you supposed to be?" Rachel asks.
"John McClane. From Die Hard. Bruce Willis?"
"I know who he is," Rachel says. "I just can't believe this is your amazing costume."
"What? It's awesome."
"You're in black dress slacks and a wife beater."
"I know," Noah says.
"And barefoot!"
"I know."
"Your idea of awesome costume seems to be whatever you happen to have in your closet," Rachel says.
"Well, you're in a suit," Noah retorts.
"Which I definitely did not have in my closet."
"Whatever, I look awesome."
…
Santana is trying to get Quinn to do a shot with her when Artie rolls into the kitchen, dressed all in black and wearing a very obvious fake goatee.
"Who are you supposed to be?" she asks him.
"I could ask you the same thing," he replies.
Santana points to her name tag.
"Mr. Blonde… Ahhh, nice."
"And you?"
"I'm Evil Artie," he replies. "You can tell by the goatee."
"Wow, so much effort."
"You're wearing a suit and a name tag," Artie accuses.
"At least acquiring a suit requires some effort on my part."
"Oh please, we both know this costume wasn't your idea."
Suddenly two cups are shoved into their personal space.
"What's this about?" Artie asks.
"It's alcohol," Quinn replies. "Drink it and shut up. Both of you."
"Very grumpy service here," Artie says.
"Agreed," Santana adds.
Quinn growls under her breath and takes a long drink from her cup.
…
"Can I get a beer? Or are you keeping this keg for yourself?"
Rachel turns to find Tina behind her. "Nice costume." Tina's dressed in tan cargo pants which are rolled to reveal black converse. She's wearing a white tank top with the British flag on it. Her hair is in a ponytail and there's a cigarette behind her right ear.
"Hey, you look familiar," Puck says.
"Noah."
"It's me, Puck, Tina," Tina says. "We've been in glee club together for over two years now."
"I know who you are, T," Puck tells her. "I meant your costume. I don't know exactly who you are, but it's really familiar."
"It's from a comic book," Tina says. “A crazy, awesome comic book with gods and superheroes and aliens and defending the earth and--.”
"Of course," Puck replies. "The Authority."
"Exactly."
"Very nice," Puck continues. "All you need is a British accent, or at the very least, some British phrases and you'd be perfect."
"Well if you don't get me a beer, I'll call you a bloody wanker," Tina says. "Does that work for you?"
Smirking, Puck hands her a full cup. "Perfect."
…
"I'm starting to think I didn't spend enough time on my costume."
Mike glances over from the driver's seat. "I think you look great. Candy striper, it's cute."
Wendy smiles as she looks Mike's costume over again. "Says the guy in the Black Knight costume."
Mike tries to shrug, but it's difficult to do while driving and wearing armor. "I couldn't find armor that resembled the French Knight, so I figured the Black Knight was close enough."
"Yeah, I still don't know who the hell you're talking about," Wendy replies.
"I know. And we'll be fixing that real soon," Mike assures her. "We're watching some Monty Python real soon."
"All right, I guess," Wendy says as Mike tries to find parking around Puck's house.
…
Kurt's in the kitchen, making himself a vodka Cranberry when Puck smacks him on the back.
"Hey Hummel," he greets.
"Puck," he replies, wincing.
"What is it with you gays and vodka?"
"Uh..."
"I mean you and Al here are just knocking 'em back," Puck continues.
"I told you not to call me that."
Kurt looks over to see a brunette about Rachel's height in a suit and a name tag that reads, Mr. Pink. She holds out her hand. "Alyson Tyler."
Kurt shakes the offered hand. "Kurt Hummel."
"Ahhh."
"What?"
"I've just heard a lot about you," Alyson explains.
"From who?"
"Uh, Quinn."
"Quinn Fabray?"
Alyson nods.
Kurt looks Alyson up and down. "Interesting."
Alyson nods again as she begins making herself a screwdriver.
"Well if you'll excuse me..."
Taking a sip of her drink, Alyson watches Kurt push his way through the crowd.
"What do you suppose that was about?" Puck asks.
Alyson just shrugs.
…
From his spot in the kitchen, Puck watches Finn down yet another beer. He briefly wonders if Finn's trying to give himself alcohol poisoning. He'd be more pissed about Finn apparently trying to drink an entire keg himself if Hudson hadn't given him two twenties the moment he walked in the door. Though Puck has to wonder what Finn is trying to forget.
…
Finding Quinn in the living room, Kurt grabs her and drags her away from her conversation with two Cheerios dressed as Sonny and Cher.
"What the hell, Kurt?"
"We need to talk," Kurt throws over his shoulder as he drags Quinn away.
They end up in the garage.
"All right," Quinn says, pulling away from Kurt. "What is this about?"
"I just wanted to confirm that you've finally embraced your gayness. And I figured that you weren't quite ready to broadcast that just yet."
"What makes you say that I've embraced my so called gayness?"
Kurt smirks. "I just met your girlfriend."
"Who?"
"Alyson."
"What makes you think she's my girlfriend?" Quinn asks.
"Besides the fact that your costumes match?" Kurt retorts. "The way she says your name."
"Seriously?"
Kurt nods.
Quinn sighs. "What of it?"
"So it's true? You're finally admitting it?"
"To a select few," Quinn replies. "I'm not ready for that conversation with my mom yet."
"Fair enough," Kurt says. "It's still exciting, though."
"I guess."
"I do owe Mercedes ten bucks though."
"What? Why?"
"Because I wasn't sure if you'd come out before graduation. She was," Kurt explains.
"Should I be insulted?"
"Course not. Coming out is tough."
"Thanks Kurt."
…
"Hey there loser," Santana says as she enters the kitchen to find Artie mixing himself a drink. "You put any alcohol in there? Or is it all soda?"
"You're bitchier than normal," Artie retorts. "Are you binge drinking to forget the pain?"
"Please, I've barely drank anything tonight. Besides, I could drink anyone here under the table."
"Yes, your alcoholism is something to be proud of."
Santana smirks. "I like the snark. Fine, I challenge you to a contest."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really," Santana says.
"Fine. What?"
"How about shots?"
"And when I win?" Artie asks. "What do I get?"
"If you win, you have the honor of being the only one to ever beat me."
"Woo hoo, there's something I can take to the bank," Artie scoffs.
"Whatever. Fifty bucks, then."
"Much better."
…
While most people begin scurrying towards the kitchen to watch Santana and Artie, Marisa stays in the living room watching the dance floor. She's not much of a dancer, though she knows Brittany is, so she doesn't mind watching from the couch. However, watching Brittany with Mike Chang is a bit…unsettling.
Marisa glances to her left at her couch mate. She looks familiar, Marisa assumes she's a Cheerio, because seeing her in red and white seems right, even if it's a candy striper's outfit. What has Marisa's attention is the apparent jealousy on the girl's face as she watches the pair slink across the floor. She wonders if she has a similar expression on her face.
…
Seated across the table from each other, Artie and Santana face off. Puck is overseeing the whole thing. He insisted that since it's happening at his house, he gets to be in charge. After the three of them argue over what the shot is, the finally settle on Jack Daniels.
Puck sets ten shot glasses on the table; five in front of Santana and five in front of Artie. He then fills each of them with alcohol. Everyone watches as they knock back one right after the other.
Once they've finished all five, everyone watches to see if either is going to puke. When neither moves, a cheer goes through the room as Puck yells, "Five more."
As Puck refills the shot glasses, Rachel appears on Santana's left. "Good luck, tiger," she whispers as she kisses her on the cheek.
"Where are you going?" Santana asks as Rachel stands.
"Elsewhere. I just brought some garbage cans over in case you guys puke. Because no one wants to deal with that."
"Thanks bro," Puck says.
"Yeah, thanks Rachel," Artie adds.
"Good luck, Artie," Rachel tells him. "You'll need it."
Santana smirks as Artie nods determined.
…
As more people squish into the kitchen, Brittany and Mike continue to grind on the dance floor. Marisa's definitely jealous at this point, but doesn't quite know what to do about it.
Wendy, sitting next to Marisa can no longer take it. She stands up and marches up to the pair dancing. She grabs Mike's wrist and yanks him away from Brittany.
"Whoa, Wendy, what's up?" Mike asks.
"Kort," Brittany greets, looking amused.
"Look I know you and I just started whatever this is, but watching you two dance like that is not how I wanted to spend my evening."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Marisa joins in, now standing next to Wendy, arms crossed as well. "Is that for two people that are dating other people, you're sure dancing seductively."
"She's means stop humping on the dance floor," Wendy adds.
Brittany smirks while Mike looks sheepish.
"Sorry," he says. "Britt and I have been dancing like this together for a long time. Sometimes I forget."
"Yeah," Brittany adds. "Chill out. We're just having fun. I'd be dancing with my girlfriend, but she didn't want to."
"Hey, I don't dance," Marisa defends.
"You want to be an actor and you don't dance?" Mike asks.
"How do you know she wants to be an actor?" Wendy questions.
Brittany chuckles.
"Because Marisa and Rachel are friends," Mike explains. "And we've hung out before."
"Oh."
"How about you and I heat up the dance floor?" Mike asks.
Wendy nods.
"Wanna go make out in the bathroom?" Brittany asks Marisa as Mike pulls Wendy onto the dance floor.
"Okay."
…
When the third row of five is filled with Jack, Artie starts to become nervous. He knew going up against Santana would be tough, but now he's starting to worry about alcohol poisoning. Because he's starting to lose feeling in his arms and that can't be good.
"Ready to forfeit?" Santana mocks.
Artie shakes his head. He thinks. Through his blurry vision, he thinks that Santana looks almost as bad off as he is. Maybe he can win this.
…
Sitting on the kitchen counter with Quinn, watching the spectacle, Alyson wonders if her high school experience would have been like this if she'd attended McKinley instead of St. Rose. When Quinn leans her head on Alyson's shoulder, she automatically wraps her arm around her.
"Having fun?" Quinn asks.
Alyson nods, figuring Quinn will feel it. "Yeah. McKinley kids are interesting to watch."
"We like to drink, you mean?"
"It's Lima," Alyson says. "What else is there to do?"
…
The third row of shots goes much slower. Santana does one, then Artie does and there's a lot more staring in between.
When they've both drank fourteen apiece, Puck gleefully begins narrating.
"Lopez is looking a little squeamish. I have no doubt that my girl will defend her title, but at what price."
"Shut up Puckerman," Santana slurs. "And don't call me your girl." She quickly swallows the last shot and slams the glass on the table harshly.
"And now it's Artie's turn," Puck continues. "He's definitely looking a bit green, but I know my man Artie is a fighter. He's not going to go down so easy. He's going to--"
"Shut the fuck up dude," Artie grumbles as he fumbles with the shot glass. It takes quite a bit of concentration, but he finally grasps it and drinks it. The shot glass is half dropped onto the table with a bang.
"Whadda think guys?" Puck asks. "Round four?"
Before anyone can reply, Artie grabs the garbage can next to him and pukes in it.
A collective "Ewww" goes through the crowd and people begin to slowly filter out of the room.
"Yeah, that's right," Santana crows. "Suck it, Artie. Oh shit." Santana turns in her seat and bends over, just managing to hit the garbage can that Rachel left.
"So disappointing, Lopez," Puck says as he helps her move the can into her lap.
"Fuck off, Puckerman," Santana growls once she's finished. "Like you've ever done fifteen shots in ten minutes with good results."
Artie gratefully accepts a wet paper towel from Tina and wipes his mouth. "Man, and I had such plan for that fifty."
…
Kurt's pretty sure he over did it. He decides to get some fresh air to clear his head. He chooses a corner of the yard that appears to be drunkard free. Sighing, he sinks to the ground.
"You okay?"
Kurt jumps, not expecting a question. He finds Rachel learning forward into a thin bit of light coming from the patio. He lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, hey Rachel. Just needed a break is all."
"Quite understandable."
"Why are you out here?"
"I needed a break from the drunks," Rachel explains. "I'd forgotten how annoying it is to be sober around drunk people. But someone needs to stay sober to drive home."
"That was nice of you," Kurt says. "To volunteer."
"I'm not spending the night here because we have no way to get home," Rachel retorts.
"Yeah, there'll be enough passed out drunks as it is."
To Kurt's surprise, they lapse into silence. After a while, his inebriation hits him like a ton of bricks. "I think I over did it," he says.
"Make sure you drink a lot of water when you get home," is Rachel's response.
"Can I ask you something Rachel?"
"I suppose so."
"You knew, didn't you? About Quinn?"
"What did I know about Quinn?"
"That she's gay," Kurt says.
"She is?"
Kurt sighs. "You can drop the act, Berry. Quinn told me."
Kurt feels Rachel's eyes on him, examining him, despite the darkness. He tries to not feel too self-conscience.
"Very well then," Rachel says finally. "Yes, I did know."
"Have you met her girlfriend?" Kurt asks. "I don't think she goes to McKinley."
"I have indeed met her," Rachel replies. "I introduced them."
"You introduced them?"
"And no, she never went to McKinley. She went to the all girls Catholic high school."
"Of course she did."
"I do hope you'll keep this to yourself, Kurt," Rachel continues. "Quinn not ready to be fully out and being pushed out would devastate her."
"Rachel, I would never," Kurt says. "I hope you know that."
"Oh, I know you would never intentionally say anything," Rachel replies. "However, you're currently drunk and so many of our classmates are currently surrounding us. I just worry. Quinn doesn't need that."
"Are you defending Quinn Fabray?" Kurt asks. "From me? Did I drink so much that I hit my head and forgot something? I feel like I'm in some weird alternate dimension."
"Would knowing that I'm concerned about how Quinn's negative reaction would affect Alyson, someone I consider a friend?"
"Um…maybe."
"Kurt, I know you think I'm a complete fool because I seem to forgive people so easily, but I think that might be because you see things as black or white, right or wrong and I'm not sure that I do. So, despite how horrendous Quinn's been to me in the past, she needs someone in her corner right now, specifically in relation to her sexuality. And I don't mind being that person."
Kurt sighs. "You're right. I just never expected to hear that from you. No offense."
"None taken, I suppose."
…
The dual puking in the kitchen, along with the late hour managed to clear out a majority of the party. Puck is currently on his couch watching Chang and a Cheerio grind on the dance floor. Brittany is next to him with Rachel's little theater geek friend on her lap. He can't quite hear what they're talking about but considering the blush on the theater geek's face, he has a few guesses.
Curled up together in the recliner are Quinn and her girlfriend, which is something Puck never thought he'd see. Even though she hasn't actually said it out loud, bringing a girl to his party is still a big thing. He wonders how Rachel made all that happen. Because even if they haven't actually talked about it, he knows his bro was behind it all.
Puck's interrupted from his musing by the entrance of Finn. Puck hasn't seen him in a while and judging by the weird red marks on the left side of his face, Puck is guessing that Finn passed out in the bathroom. Considering that Finn had basically been drinking straight from the keg, Puck's surprised that he's even moving.
He leans against the door frame watching Mike on the dance floor and sipping from a cup that Puck is pretty sure is more alcohol. Still as long as he's not driving, Puck's not going to police him.
And then Finn's eyes fall onto Quinn and his expression becomes enraged. He's quickly hovering above the pair before Puck can even blink.
"So you're gay now?" Finn growls.
"Finn, you're drunk," Quinn says.
"Answer the question."
Both Mike and Puck try to pull Finn back as he seems to lean closer to Quinn. He does his best to resist.
"Answer the question!"
"I've always been gay," Quinn says. "I just couldn't admit it till now, Finn."
Finn lets out an animalist howl and lunges forward. Quinn wraps her arms around Alyson and tries to protect her from Finn as Puck and Mike just barely manage to hold him back.
"Dude, you gotta calm the fuck down," Puck says. "You're drunk."
"Shut the hell up and let go of me."
"Sorry man," Mike says. "No can do."
"Finn, what the hell are you doing?" Kurt asks as he and Rachel burst into the room.
"Quinn's decided she's gay," Finn growls.
"There's nothing wrong with that," Kurt replies.
"And it's not something you just decide," Rachel adds.
"Probably not the time, Rachel," Kurt mutters.
"Sorry."
"I just… First Rachel. And now Quinn?" Finn says, relaxing, though Mike and Puck don't let go. "What is going on?"
"C'mon man," Puck says. "You can crash on the couch." He and Mike start to lead Finn over. "Party's pretty much done, anyhow, right?"
Everyone nods and heads into the kitchen.
"Puck, man, I'm sorry," Finn mumbles as he sinks on the couch. "I just don't know what to do anymore."
"I know, dude," Puck says.
Mike begins grabbing as many cups and bottles he can before heading into the kitchen.
"Things'll make more sense in the morning," Puck continues.
"Thanks man."
…
In the kitchen, Mike drops the cups and bottles into the garbage bag that Rachel got out. Santana and Artie are still at the table, looking miserable. Alyson and Quinn grab a chair as does Wendy and Kurt.
"Well that was dramatic," Brittany says.
"I don't think I've ever seen him that drunk," Kurt says. "Or that angry."
"Should we be worried, Kurt?" Rachel asks.
"You mean when he sobers up?" Kurt clarifies.
"I'm not ready to be fully out yet, Kurt," Quinn says. "I'm not ready to tell my mom and she should probably hear it from me."
"Plus, my family wouldn't react well, at all," Alyson adds. "Thank god for my scholarship."
"You really think they'd disown you?" Rachel asks.
"I do."
"Damn," Kurt mutters. "Maybe if I can get dad and Carole to talk to him, we can convince him."
"Finn's not vindictive, you guys," Rachel says. "I'm more concerned with him just blurting it out without even realizing what he's doing. His mouth sometimes gets ahead of his brain."
"What brain?" Santana scoffs.
Puck joins them in the kitchen, going to the sink for some water.
"Maybe he's so drunk, he'll forget," Brittany says. "I mean, think about it, he's already passed out once tonight. And he doesn't even know who Alyson is. Maybe denial is our best option."
"Do you get smarter when you're drunk?" Kurt asks.
Alyson gasps, but Quinn leans in and whispers something in her ear that seems to relax her.
"Apparently," Brittany replies.
"What about her?" Kurt asks, pointing to Wendy.
"What about me?" Wendy asks.
"I don't know who you are or if I can trust you," Kurt replies.
"We don't have to worry," Rachel says, staring at the Cheerio. "Do we Wendy?"
Wendy audibly gulps. "No Rachel. You don't have anything to worry about."
"Good," Rachel nods.
"Yep, still in the alternate dimension," Kurt says to himself.
Ignoring him, Rachel turns to Puck. "I think it's time for us to go. Is Finn okay?"
"Hopefully, he's passed out by now," Puck answers. "Don't worry. If he wakes up, I'll just convince him he had a weird dream."
"Excellent," Rachel says. "So Kurt, Artie, do you need a ride home?"
"Uh, do you really have room for that, Rach?" Artie asks.
"Technically no," Rachel replies. "But if you're willing to be uncomfortable for a brief period, it could still work out."
"How uncomfortable exactly?"
…
"I didn't agree to this," Santana grumbles behind Rachel.
"I'm sorry guys, but it's only for a couple minutes," Rachel answers.
"As long as you drop me off first," Kurt says from behind Rachel.
Artie barely manages to hold back a smirk as Rachel drives. He's not sure how, but Rachel managed to fit all eight of them and his wheelchair into her hybrid. His chair is in the trunk while he and Rachel are in the front. In the back sit Brittany and Quinn with their girlfriends in their laps; while Kurt is currently sitting as little as possible on Santana.
"Who the hell are you supposed to be anyway?" Santana asks Kurt.
"Richard Gere from Chicago."
"Figures."
…
When Rachel wakes up Sunday morning, it's still early. Feeling restless, she decides to go for a run, so she doesn't wake anyone else up.
She's tying her sneakers when Santana rolls open and groggily asks, "What's up?"
"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Rachel replies. "Just going for a run."
"What time is it?"
"You probably don't want to know," Rachel answers.
Santana groans. "Freak." And then she rolls back over, snuggling further into the blankets.
Rachel smirks and stands. She grabs her house keys and her cell phone before heading out.
She's not sure why she's so restless. Saturday was spent just as it usually is, with Santana except with Quinn and Alyson in the house, both couples stayed in their respective bedrooms. They ate takeout together for dinner and watched trashy TV. Despite all her grumbling about the loss of naked time, Rachel knows Santana was glad, is glad that Quinn seems so happy.
Brittany and Marisa had gone home after brunch since Marisa was supposed to watch her little brothers while her mom worked. After going home to shower and change, Brittany was apparently going to spent the afternoon at the Lawson house and keep Marisa company. Rachel's glad that relationship seems to be going so well.
…
A few hours later, freshly showered, Rachel rings the doorbell of the Tyler household. The door is answered my Mrs. Tyler.
"Good morning, Mrs. Tyler," Rachel greets.
"Hello Rachel. Lovely to see you," Mrs. Tyler replies. "Won't you come in? Kat's just about ready."
"Thank you," Rachel says, stepping inside.
"I want to thank you Rachel," Mrs. Tyler says.
"Oh? Whatever for?" Rachel asks.
"Spending time with Kat," Mrs. Tyler replies. "I know as a senior, your schedule is extremely busy and the fact that you still make time for her is just amazing."
"Oh, well thank you," Rachel says. "But I enjoy spending time with her. I'd always wished for a sister growing up. I like to think of her as my honorary little sister."
"That is so sweet."
"Hey mom, who was at the door?" Josh Tyler sticks his head into the hallway. "Oh. Hey Rachel."
"Hi Josh."
"You here to pick up the munchkin?" Josh asks.
Rachel nods. "Do you mind maybe picking her up later?"
"Yes, Josh, that would be lovely," Mrs. Tyler adds.
"We'll most likely be hanging out at my house," Rachel continues. "I think it'd be nice if you were the one to come over."
"Oh. Right. Of course," Josh says. "I don't mind doing that mom."
"Perfect," Mrs. Tyler says. "Well, let me go check on Kat." She climbs the stairs, calling Kat's name.
"You don't mind?" Josh asks.
"Course not," Rachel says. "Stop by, hang out a bit, give her a hard time, you know, be a little brother."
Josh smirks. "She'll hate that."
"Is that a sibling thing I just don't get?" Rachel asks. "You pretend to hate the other's very existence?"
"It is," Josh nods. "Although I think being so close in age, helps as well."
"Interesting."
Just then Kat comes bounding down the stairs with her mother trailing after.
"Hi Rachel."
"Good morning Kat. Are you ready to go?"
Kat nods as she pulls a jacket out of the front closet.
"I'll call you when Kat needs to be picked up, okay?" Rachel asks Josh.
"Sounds great."
"You have his number?" Mrs. Tyler asks.
"I do," Kat replies.
"Okay, well then have a good time, dear."
"Bye mom. Josh. C'mon Rachel, let's go."
…
Rachel spend the drive back to her house fully amused. Kat is so excited, she's practically vibrating. Rachel's glad she could do this for Kat, and Alyson too.
Though Rachel admits to herself, it a bit selfish. She always wanted a sister and the fact that Kat's become her surrogate sister has been great. And now, seeing how happy Kat is at just the prospect of seeing her big sister is causing Rachel to grin uncontrollably.
…
The house is pretty quiet when they enter. Rachel leads Kat towards the kitchen and has her sit at the table.
"How come it's so quiet?"
"Everyone's still sleeping, I'm sure," Rachel replies.
"Big party last night?" Kat asks.
"No, that was Friday night," Rachel explains. "Don't worry, Alyson knows you're here for breakfast. I'm sure they'll be down soon." Rachel goes to the coffee maker and starts it. Turning to Kat, she says, "I'm sure the smell of food will lure them out of bed. What should we make?"
"Uh, waffles?"
"Waffles, huh?"
"It'll give those lazy bums a chance to wake up slowly, right?"
Rachel smirks. "Right you are."
…
Santana wonders how big of sap she is that she's disappointed that she doesn't get to wake up with Rachel. No matter how many nights they spend together, Santana's favorite part has always been waking up still ensconced with her girlfriend.
As the smell of coffee and pancakes make their way further into her consciousness, Santana figures it's time to wake up. She pulls on a pair of sweats and a tank top before heading downstairs.
She finds Alyson hugging Kat and Quinn watching with an adoring smile from the kitchen table. Ignoring her instinct to mock Quinn, Santana waves to everyone and heads for the coffee maker. After pouring herself a mug, she wraps Rachel in her arms.
"Morning."
"Hey sleepy head."
"Whatever freak," Santana teases. "Waffles?"
"Kat's idea."
"I didn't know you guys have a waffle iron," Santana says.
"It is a rarely used item," Rachel agrees. "You want to set the table for me?"
Santana gives a dramatic sigh. "Fine. Since you cooked or whatever."
Smiling, Rachel returns to the waffle iron as Santana grabs plates from the cabinet. As she setting the plates down, Quinn jumps up and grabs silverware. Once everything's on the table, both Quinn and Santana watch with amusement at the excitement radiating off Kat. She's bouncing around and talking a mile a minute to Alyson who is listening with a grin.
"All right motor mouth," Rachel says setting down a stack of waffles and a bowl of fruit. "Time to eat."
"Fine," Kat huffs and sits at the table.
The next few minutes are filled with the sounds of clinking silverware and groans.
"Holy crap, Berry," Quinn says. "If there anything you can't make?"
"If there is," Santana replies. "She hasn't found it yet."
"Well as a vegan, it could be argued any meat product," Rachel says.
"These are vegan?" Alyson asks.
"They are."
"Huh. Never would have guessed."
"Me either, Rach," Kat pipes up.
"Thanks guys."
…
Santana makes Rachel sit at the table while she and Quinn clean up. Alyson and Kat are in the living room, catching up.
"You guys are being ridiculous," Rachel says. "I'm perfectly capable of cleaning up."
"You cooked," Santana replies. "We clean."
"Yeah, Berry," Quinn says. "For once, just sit there and relax."
"Whatever," Rachel huffs.
…
They spend the rest of the morning and into the afternoon in the living room with the TV playing in the background, just talking. Alyson's trying to soak up as much time with Kat and Quinn as she can. Every time she looks at a clock it's with a certain amount of dread since she needs to leave by three.
When the doorbell rings, everyone, but Rachel and Kat look up in surprise.
"That would be Josh," Rachel says, standing.
"It's only a little after two," Quinn points out. "I thought you weren't leaving until three."
"And I still am," Alyson says.
"No worries ladies," Josh says, entering. "I just came for a little mockery time with my big sis."
"Yay," Alyson says, dryly.
"Love you too, Aly."
…
The rest of the afternoon is filled with good byes and Rachel finds herself emotionally exhausted. She, Santana and Quinn spend the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching trashy TV. Quinn seems reluctant to leave and Rachel's not going to push it. Even though she thinks Quinn and Alyson are great for each other, she still feels bad about the fact that it's now a long distance relationship.
…
It's after midnight when Puck pulls into the McKinley parking lot. He parks in his usual spot, hidden in the shadows. He and Rachel quickly unload the laundry cart that Rachel “borrowed” from the locker room. Less than a minute, they’re inside the school.
“You are a god damn genius, bro,” Puck says as he pushes the laundry cart inside.
“I have become very efficient at picking locks, I agree,” Rachel replies.
They head to the janitor’s closet first for a ladder. Puck carries it as Rachel pulls the cart. One by one, they take down the piñatas Rachel put up two weeks earlier.
“Do I even want to know where you got so many piñatas so quickly?” Puck asks.
“Passionateforpiñatas.com,” Rachel replies. “They have an excellent bulk rate.”
“And all the creamy filling?”
“Bulkforabuck.com. They have an awesome bulk rate. Obviously.”
It takes a little over an hour to replace the three dozen harmless piñatas with the prank ones. They then return the ladder and the laundry cart to their appropriate places.
“Still pretty early,” Puck says as they climb into his truck.
“Yes,” Rachel agrees. “Enough time for me to get a decent amount of sleep.”
“It’s our senior year, Rach,” Puck says. “You gotta let loose.”
“Have you already forgotten the last two hours of our lives?” Rachel questions. “What would you call that prank we just set up?”
“Awesome,” he replies. “But then you had to follow it up by talking about getting a decent night’s sleep.”
“Because I’m tired.”
“Because it’s exhausting being Rachel Berry?”
“Do not mock me, Noah,” Rachel says.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, bro.”
…
When Emma arrives at work Monday morning, she’s surprised to find a post-it note on her computer screen.
Eating your lunch in your office, with the door closed today is an EXCELLENT idea. -a friend
So it seems that the prankster is going to strike today. Emma’s not surprised. Halloween seems like a very good time to pull a prank. She wonders what it’ll be. Her first thought is a Carrie reenactment; a shudder runs through her and she decides to stay in her office as much as possible. Just in case.
…
Principal Figgins is on edge. It’s Halloween. A prank is going to be pulled. He can feel it. The problem is that the prankster keeps the pranks varied; there’s no telling what could happen. He’d been half hoping it’d be something externally like a giant pumpkin blocking the entrance; because at least then he would know. This waiting game isn’t good for his health.
…
Emma sees Jack walking past her office during third period. She flags him down and he enters her office with a smile.
“Hello Emma,” he greets. “How’s your Monday going?”
“It’s just fine,” Emma replies. “I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me, here, in my office.”
“Sure that sounds nice.”
Okay. I’ll see you later, then.”
Grinning, Jack gives a half bow before leaving.
…
When Rachel and Santana decide to eat lunch in the choir room, she supposes she shouldn't have been surprised that the other glee kids would have the same idea.
"Happy Halloween," Brittany exclaims when they enter.
Besides Brittany sits an uncomfortable looking Marisa, Artie and Tina. Kurt and Mercedes are a few chairs over with Quinn sitting behind them next to Mike.
Santana sits next to Quinn and Rachel next to Mike and they start eating.
A moment later, Puck bursts in. "Huh."
"I take it that it hasn't started yet," Artie says.
"What hasn't?" Puck asks.
"Whatever is going to happen that means it's smart to hide in here," Tina says.
"I guess not," Puck replies. "I mean, I haven't heard any crashes or screams or any of the usual." He then slumps into the only empty chair in the first row.
"What crawled up your ass?" Santana asks him.
"I wanna see it," Puck replies.
"What?"
"Whatever's going to happen," he says. "I bet it's awesome…and orange."
"Orange?" Marisa asks.
"For Halloween."
"We'll hear about it all too soon, I'm sure," Rachel says.
…
Tony looks around the small break room that is for the janitorial staff only. Budget cuts means he doesn't have as many people as he'd like, but considering the size of their break room, he supposes he could consider it a small blessing.
He knows he should hate the prankster as much as the faculty, but he just can't. For one thing, the constant pranks mean job stability for him and the rest of his staff. He can barely clean up after various pranks with the few he has. And Figgins knows it, so he hasn't made Tony fire anymore people in the last year.
He'd been surprised to find an envelope taped to his locker when he arrived this morning. It had read, Anthony J. Briggs, Head Janitor. He'd opened it cautiously, as if it might explode, because at McKinley, you really never knew. He'd been shocked to read a heartfelt sounding apology for the chaos that was to occur later in the day, as well as a warning to stay out of it.
Tony appreciates the warning and the apology. He knows the prankster's beef is with Figgins and so he simply tucks the note back into the envelope and puts the envelope back in his locker.
He then tells the rest of the janitors to eat lunch in the break room today.
…
"Why do I get the feeling that your request to eat lunch in here isn't just to bask in my sparkling personality?" Jack asks Emma as she nervously stares out into the hallway.
"Excuse me?"
"You keep looking out into the hallway. Expecting someone?"
"More like something," Emma replies. "I assume you've heard about the McKinley Prankster?"
"It's come up a few times."
"Well, he's been sending me warnings about when the pranks happening."
"Oh really?"
Emma nods. "A lot of the pranks involve a lot of…mess and apparently knowing my phobia, the prankster has been warning me. So even though almost everyone else is covered in slushie or stuck to fly paper, I managed to escape those fates."
"But you don't know who it is?"
"No one seems to," Emma replies.
"Surely there must be some leads," Jack comments.
"Oh yes, there were plenty," Emma tells him. "But they've all been eliminated."
"Eliminated?"
"Well, there's no proof, so Principal Figgins' hands are tied. If he goes after someone without definitive proof…well, it wouldn't be good."
"Why do I feel like I'm missing something here?"
"Um, well, have you met Rachel Berry? Short brunette, usually in skirts and speaks far too properly to be a teenager?"
Jack chuckles. "I know exactly who you mean."
"Well both her girlfriend and her best friend were accused of being the prankster simply because of their reputations. However, when Figgins threatened to expel them without tangible proof, she began threatening lawsuits."
"Because they're innocent?"
"I hope so," Emma says. "But honestly? I have no idea."
Suddenly the hallway seems to be filled with chaos. All that Emma can see is students scrabbling about, orange paint, and what she hopes is fake blood. There are random little explosions that seem to add to the chaos.
"Thank you for inviting me to lunch," Jack says, gazing out into the hallway at all the pandemonium.
…
Puck's the only one who reacts when the explosions, screaming and chaos begin. A little too eager, he jumps up and tries to see everything out the small window on the door.
"Where's Finn?" Kurt asks.
"Maybe he's hiding somewhere else," Tina says.
"Yeah, we just came here because it seemed easier," Artie adds.
"Or he didn't get a warning," Mercedes says. "Remember on the first day how he didn't get a raincoat like the rest of us?"
"Yeah, you're right," Kurt agrees.
"Douchebag deserves it," Santana mutters.
"Hey, I know he was out of line the other night, but he's still my brother," Kurt says.
"Whatever."
"And then you wonder why we think you're the prankster, Santana," Kurt replies.
"I know why," Santana tells him. "Cause I'm fucking bad ass. But it wasn't me. I'm just glad that the prankster seems to have his priorities straight."
…
Because so many students and faculty are covered in either orange paint, fake blood and grape slushie, if not all three, Figgins has to cancel the rest of the day. The halls are bedlam as people rush to the bathrooms and locker rooms to clean up. A few people even jump into the pool, causing the janitors to groan because that means they'll need to drain the pool again.
Trying to restore order to the halls of McKinley after the three dozen mini explosions of various liquids is impossible. Despite hating that the prankster has triumphed again, Figgins has to cancel the rest of the day. Especially since many people had just left, heading home to clean up.
…
Rachel's not sure how it happens, but Santana, Quinn, Brittany, Marisa, Puck, Mike, Artie and Tina all end up at her house after the abbreviated school day.
"I say we toast the prankster," Puck says, raising his beer that he stole from the fridge. "For allowing us to have so many extra days off."
Brittany claps.
"It's hardly something to celebrate, Noah," Rachel says. "Just because this is our senior year, doesn't mean it's not important. We're going to fall behind and either miss something at the end or have to quickly breeze through something to finish everything we're supposed to."
"Maybe you should write the prankster a note," Brittany suggests.
"How's she supposed to do that B?" Quinn asks. "If we supposedly don't know who it is."
"I don't know. Maybe post it on the front door?"
"Or publish it in the school paper," Marisa suggests.
"Yeah. That," Brittany agrees.
"What if the prankster doesn't read the school paper?" Mike asks. "I mean, not many people do."
"I'm not going to write the prankster a letter, guys," Rachel interjects. "It would probably have the reverse effect."
"What's that supposed to mean, babe?"
"I'm sure the prankster, like many at this school, isn't a fan of my talent and would simply do the exact opposite of what I request out of spite."
"You really think he'd do that?" Mike asks.
"The prankster could be a girl," Brittany says.
Santana groans. "Don't encourage them, B."
"Relax, S," Quinn says. "No one's saying it's you."
"Hummel seemed to earlier," Santana points out.
"He was defending Finn," Rachel points out.
"Waste of time," Santana grumbles.
Rachel elbows her.
…
Looking down the main hallway, Tony sighs, knowing he has hours of work in front of him. So caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't notice the three guys in light blue jumpsuits behind him until one taps him on the shoulder.
"Yeah?"
"You look like you could use some help," the tallest says.
"Thank you for stating the obvious," Tony replies.
"I'm Ron. This is my brothers Tommy and Billy. We've been hired to help you."
Tony blinks. "Seriously?"
Ron nods.
"I'm not even going to question it," Tony tells them. "There's too much to do. Feel free to jump in anywhere."
"Thanks man," Ron replies.
Tony watches the trio drag their cleaning materials that they apparently brought with down the hall and get to work. He can only shake his head in disbelief. Just when he thought the prankster couldn't surprise him anymore.