fic: Making a Splash
Title: Making a Splash
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Brittany/Marisa, Mike, Wendy, Emma, Figgins, Sue, Will, Missy, Quinn, Puck
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In which Mike begins to figure things out, lots of movies are watched and Rachel steps up her pranks.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~9,000
Spoilers: Not really.
A/N: Follows Another Road Trip
2nd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
While Mike is extremely grateful to the prankster for the day off, the timing of it gives him pause. He ends up hanging out with Artie, Tina, Mercedes, Kurt, Puck and Finn at Kurt and Finn’s. The TV’s on, but everyone’s kind of just doing their own thing. It gives him time to think.
The fact that school’s cancelled for the day isn’t anything unusual in relation to the prankster. The fact that Rachel, Santana, Brittany and Quinn are skipping today could be a coincidence, but Mike knows how much Rachel hates to miss school.
The identity of the prankster has been speculated on for months, almost an entire year actually, but no one has yet to figure it out.
The fact that the glee club receives a warning definitely implies that it’s someone that cares about them, which narrows it down to someone in the group. Everyone always thinks it’s Santana, but Mike’s not too sure. Because while Santana has changed a lot since she and Rachel started dating, part of Mike still wonders if the idea of warning her fellow glee clubbers would really occur to Santana.
Rachel, on the other hand…
And Mike has seen her build some amazing things. The Halifax Gibbet for example. Mike had never even heard of a Halifax Gibbet, much less thought about building one. Yeah, the hugging machine came with instructions, but it seemed so natural watching her put it together.
He thinks back to some of the more elaborate pranks: the working castle, the slushie shower, the fireworks display; they all seem rather elaborate, even over waxing the floor. It's a simple sentence, but McKinley is a huge school; waxing that many square feet of linoleum takes a bit of planning.
As the pranks have become more complex, Mike has often thought that they must have studied the same tips Rachel did because only someone with incredible organizational skills could do something so intricate.
Not to mention the fact that it's been almost a year and no one really seems to have any clue who the prankster is. Speculation and rumor don't count.
But now that Mike knows Rachel possesses the skills to pull off the detailed and grand pranks, she really is the only likely suspect. In fact, he's kind of kicking himself for not realizing it earlier.
He also can't believe that Finn was right last year.
Of course the problem is, he doesn't know for sure. He knows he's right, but he doesn't know he's right. However, confirming his suspicions isn't the only reason he wants to ask Rachel about it. He also just wants to ask about it. He's curious why she chained all the Cheerios, including her girlfriend to a gate. There has to be a story there.
He spends the weekend wondering if he has the guts to ask; if Rachel would answer truthfully. Because he wouldn't blame her one bit for denying it. After all, the more people that know, the higher the chances of being caught are. Though with absolutely no evidence, could Rachel be punished on word of mouth? Since Figgins hasn't suspended anyone for being the prankster, Mike guesses not.
He decides not to ask her. It's better if he doesn't know; the speculation is half the fun.
…
The moment Rachel steps foot inside McKinley, Monday morning, she has Becky at her side.
“Good morning, Becky,” Rachel greets. “Did you have a nice weekend?”
Becky nods. “Charlie and I hung out all day Saturday. It was awesome. How was Pittsburgh?”
“It was lovely. I take it Coach Sylvester wants to talk to me?”
Becky nods again. “Yep. Said it’s urgent.”
“Well then, lead on, Ms. Jackson.”
…
Coach Sylvester is journaling when Rachel enters. She sits and waits for the woman to acknowledge. When Coach Sylvester looks up after only a minute, Rachel knows she must rate pretty high in the coach’s admiration.
“Berry. Good. We need to talk.”
“How can I help you, Coach?”
“Well now that my Cheerios are no longer on probation, I thought it might be nice to issue some payback.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” Rachel admits.
“I’d like to pull a prank on Figgins,” Coach Sylvester explains. “And you’re going to give me an idea.”
“I am?”
“You are.”
“And then… You’ll owe me another favor?” Rachel questions.
“Actually, no,” Coach Sylvester replies.
“No?”
“No,” Coach Sylvester repeats. “While I am more than willing to owe you over something like ruining your curly haired leader’s day, I am not willing to owe you over that you caused.”
Rachel manages to last over a minute in the staring contest before conceding.
“Very well. What did you have in mind?”
“Ultimately, I’d like a few things that I can stretch out over time like we did with William. However, since you will technically not be reaping any rewards from this, I’ll settle for just one. But it better be good.”
“Well, I do have one that could be done multiple times, that I was never sure if I could pull off,” Rachel offers.
“Excellent, Berry,” Coach Sylvester says. “Let’s hear it.”
…
When Rachel exits Coach Sylvester’s office, she finds Brittany waiting for her.
“Hello Brittany.”
“Hi Rachel.”
“How are things?”
“Good,” Brittany replies. “Can I ask a favor?”
“Course you can.”
“Well, I know you and San usually hang out together on Tuesday nights, but I was hoping that maybe me and Marisa could join you. It’s just all we want to do is cuddle on the couch, but we can’t really do it at her place because of her little brothers and it’s always so crazy at my house.”
“Um… Well, I don’t have a problem with it. But of course we should probably check with Santana.”
“Yay. Okay. I’ll ask her,” Brittany replies. “Thanks Rach.” She hugs Rachel briefly and then skips off down the hall to find Santana.
…
Sue decides to implement Berry’s idea today if possible. Since it can be pulled multiple times, she might as well begin the fun sooner rather than later. It’s simple enough, though it is going to take a bit of coordinating, but that’s Sue’s forte. She can’t wait to watch Figgins be completely flabbergasted by it. She has to hand it to Berry for this one because Sue's not sure she ever could have come up with something like this.
…
When Mike sees Rachel in the halls between second and third period, he unintentionally ends up asking if she wants to hang out later.
"I’m in the mood for some 80s dance movies," he says. "Footloose and Dirty Dancing, maybe?"
"Yeah, that sounds like fun," Rachel replies.
"Awesome," Mike says. "I'll be over after I stop at home and grab the movies."
"See you then."
Mike continues to his locker. He hadn't planned on asking Rachel to hang out. It just sort of happened. It's not a bad thing; he has a good time hanging with Rachel. He just hopes he doesn't blurt out anything, like asking if Rachel's the prankster. That probably won't end well.
…
Watching Rachel's interact with Mike Chang gives Missy an idea. Now she just needs to talk to Wendy about it.
…
Principal Figgins climbs into his car after another long day with a sigh. Being the principal at McKinley has always been a trial, but this year already feels like a burden and it's barely started.
He's so lost in his own thoughts, he doesn't notice it at first. But after speeding up to catch a yellow light on Hawthorne Ave, it's difficult to miss. The roof of his car is making a rather obnoxious noise. It sounds a bit like a far off helicopter. He decreases his speed and the noise stops. He then speeds up and the sound becomes louder. Perplexed, he continues driving home. He'll have to call his mechanic tomorrow.
…
Mike must have left school before Rachel because she's only home moments before the doorbell rings.
It doesn't take long for them to get settled on the couch. Mike wants to watch Footloose first, since it's his favorite. Rachel doesn't have a preference, so she just nods as Mike slides the disc into the player.
Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Penn have just arrived at the dance, when Mike pauses it and suggests they order pizza. Not feeling up to cooking, Rachel agrees and calls in an order. Mike tells her he'd be willing to try the vegan version as she's on hold.
"Really?" Rachel questions. "You don't have to."
"I'm curious."
"All right then," Rachel nods. "Yes, hi, this is Rachel Berry and I wanted to place an order for delivery."
Once the order is placed, Rachel hangs up and says, "About twenty minutes."
"Cool," Mike replies, hitting play on the remote.
…
When the pizza arrives, they stop Dirty Dancing. Jennifer Gray is just arriving at the party with the watermelon and so it seems like a good place to stop.
Once they have plates and drinks, Rachel wants to start the movie again, but Mike can't stop himself from blurting out, "Are you the prankster?"
Rachel blinks at him several times in shock. "What makes you ask?"
"Because there's no one else at McKinley that it could be," Mike replies.
"That's not true," Rachel protests. "There are several people who--"
"Actually, I think the list is very short once you start adding up the evidence," Mike interrupts. "One. Someone that would warn glee club. Two. Someone smart enough to get away with it. Three. Someone with excellent planning abilities to come up with some of the pranks. Four. Someone with the ability to build elaborate and massive contraptions. And five. Someone who can keep a secret."
"That still isn't conclusive."
"And while, yes, the argument still could be made that it's Santana, we both know it's not," Mike continues. "Yes, maybe she could build some of the things that have happened, but I don't believe that about all of them."
Rachel sighs.
"C'mon, Rach," Mike says. "I know I'm not like your bro or whatever like Puck, but--"
"It's not that Mike," Rachel tells him. "I value your friendship just as much as I do Noah's. It's just that the less people that know, the better. And too many people know already."
"Who else knows?" Mike asks, but then answers his own question. "Puck, obviously. Santana for sure. But who else?"
"Brittany."
"Yeah," Mike nods. "Nothing gets by her."
"So true."
"I have some bad news for you, Rach," Mike says after a moment.
"What's that?"
"I think more people are going to start figuring it out."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because of all the reasons I listed before," Mike explains. "And after the Halifax Gibbet, a lot more people know that you meet all my listed reasons. Before that, reason four was enough to stop the doubt. Well that and reason six."
"You didn't give a reason six," Rachel points out.
"I didn't," Mike agrees. "But it's someone having the guts to pull all these things off. So you might still be safe there because I'm not sure that everyone believes that yet."
"Really?" Rachel questions. "Then I'm not sure they're paying attention."
"People see what they want to see, Rach."
"Well now that you know my secret, I have no choice but to take you out," Rachel tells Mike.
"Uh… Listen, Rachel, I didn't--"
"Mike, I'm kidding," Rachel says.
"Oh right. I knew that."
"But please don't tell anyone else," Rachel continues.
"Of course not," Mike replies. "Your secret is safe with me."
…
Santana is just finishing her homework when she receives a text message from Rachel.
Mike knows I'm the prankster.
You told him? Santana texts back.
He guessed. Rachel responds
Do I need to talk to him?
I don't believe so. I see no reason NOT to trust him.
What if he slips up and tells someone?
Such as who? Rachel questions.
Santana doesn't have answer for this, but she doesn't like it. I don't know. I just don't like it.
I know. Rachel texts back. The more people that know, the more risk there is.
Santana's just about to reply when Rachel texts again.
We'll just have to take it one day at a time. Right?
Right.
After all, I still have that favor from Coach Sylvester. Rachel texts.
Another good point, babe. Santana replies. What are you wearing?
Santana! If you wanted to sext, then you should have texted me earlier in the evening. It's already past my bedtime. I need my beauty sleep.
No you don't. Santana texts. You're already gorgeous and you know it. But whatever, no sexting. I expect you to make it up to me tomorrow.
Thank you, San. Good night. I love you.
Love you too, babe.
…
Principal Figgins drives to McKinley slowly, not wanting to cause the obnoxious noise if he can help it. Even after two cups of coffee, it's a little too early to have to listen to the helicopter that has now become his car.
In his office, he makes a call to Burt Hummel and asks if he has time to look at it today. He doesn't, but he should tomorrow. Figgins tells Burt he'll drop it off after work.
…
Tuesday at lunch, Missy makes Wendy sit at an empty table instead of the Cheerios' one that they usually sit at. Wendy eats her lunch and nods along with Missy's plans as the blonde watches Rachel sitting with her friends at a nearby table.
"I thought we were going to let that be," Wendy says.
"We did," Missy replies. "And now we're trying something else."
Wendy sighs. "Please just don't get me killed, Mis."
…
Brittany tries to get Marisa to come to glee Tuesday afternoon.
"I'd really rather not."
"C'mon Marisa," Brittany says. "You don't have to join. I just… I hate the idea of you sitting somewhere else, alone, waiting for us."
"Doing my homework in the library isn't that big of deal," Marisa tells her.
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure, Britt."
"All right, then I'll see you after."
…
Since Rachel still has some of the pizza from last night left, she's really not in the mood to order anymore. Thankfully, the other three understand this and are perfectly fine with Thai food and so Rachel calls up Amazing Thailand, the closest Thai place she's been able to bully into cooking vegan. She places the order and agrees to pay the outrageous delivery fee. After all, she's well out of their delivery range.
Since this is Brittany's idea. She gets to pick the movie. Brittany had been shocked to learn that Marisa had never seen Reservoir Dogs, which is Brittany's favorite movie. So tonight, she was going to fix that.
The four of them curl up on the couch, Marisa, Brittany, Rachel and Santana as Brittany hits play on the remote.
…
"I'm not really sure about this, Mis," Wendy says Wednesday morning after Cheerios' practice.
"Don't be ridiculous," Missy replies. "You already admit you have a crush on him, so what's the big deal?"
"Well, I guess I thought if he and I ever went out it wouldn't be part of some plot," Wendy answers.
"If that was really true, then you would have already approached him," Missy replies. "Even though you're only a sophomore, you're still a Cheerio. Besides, Chang is nice enough that he definitely wouldn't have brushed you off if you approached him."
"Maybe I just wasn't ready," Wendy retorts.
"Well get ready," Missy tells her. "Because this is happening."
"You're a god damn bitch," Wendy says.
"I know."
…
When Mike gets to his locker Wednesday morning, there are two Cheerios leaning against it. They look familiar; though he thinks that about all the Cheerios, because he's so used to just seeing them around. But when he reaches his locker, he realizes he really does recognize them. It's the red head and blonde who Santana hates; Rachel said something about them being over zealous.
"Excuse me, ladies," he says. "I need to get into my locker.
"Hi Mike," they reply as they move to either side of his locker.
"Not to be rude," Mike continues as he digs through his locker. "But what are you two doing here?"
"Waiting for you," the blonde replies. "I'm Missy and this is Wendy."
The red head, Wendy, waves.
"Nice to meet you," Mike says.
"We know it's last minute," Missy continues. "But are you busy Friday night?"
"I don't have specific plans, yet," Mike replies.
"Wanna go out on a date, Friday night?" Wendy asks.
"Um, well…"
"With both of us," Missy throws out.
"Uh…"
"Just think about it," Missy says. She leans in and kisses him on the cheek. Wendy kisses him on the other and then they skip off down the hall, leaving Mike staring after them.
…
Mike makes a beeline for Rachel when he spots her at lunch.
"Hi Mike," Rachel says as Mike sits next to her.
"Hey Rach," Mike replies. "Question for you."
"All right."
"Those two Cheerios that Santana hates? The red head and the blonde? Why exactly does Santana hate them?"
"Um, because they kept hitting on me and wouldn't take no for an answer," Rachel answers.
"Oh."
"Uh, why do you ask?"
"They asked me out this morning," Mike tells her.
"Seriously?"
Mike nods.
"Well, that's… Good, I guess," Rachel manages.
"What's good, babe?" Santana says, sliding next to Rachel.
"Missy and Wendy asked Mike out this morning," Rachel tells her.
"And what was your response, Mikey?" Santana asks.
"I didn't know what to say," Mike replies. "They told me to think about it. But why do I have the feeling, they're just going to keep asking until I say yes?"
"It's kinda their M.O.," Brittany says sitting next to Mike.
"Do you even know who we're talking about B?" Santana asks.
"Of course I do," Brittany replies. "You're talking about your blonde and red headed nemesises. Right? Is that a word?"
"What is the plural for nemesis?" Rachel questions.
"Nemesi?" Tina suggests, sitting down across from Rachel.
"I think it's like deer," Artie says, joining them. "You can say, she is my nemesis. Or I have many nemesis."
“It sounds wrong,” Rachel says.
“It does,” Artie agrees. Though nemesises sounds really weird too.”
“Does this mean you’re some sort of super hero, San?” Brittany asks. “That you have two nemesis?”
“More like evil mastermind,” Artie says. He then coughs, “Prankster.”
Tina elbows him.
“Think it all you want people,” Santana says. “But I swear on my Cheerios uniform that I’m not the prankster.”
“She’s not,” Rachel adds.
Mike smirks. “So can we get back to my issue?”
“Which is what exactly?” Artie asks.
“He got asked out by those two crazy Cheerios,” Brittany informs them. “The persistent ones that were bugging Rachel all summer.”
“Both of them?” Artie questions.
“Uh huh.”
“What is there to think about?” Artie asks. “You say yes.”
“I don’t know about that,” Puck says as he sits next to Tina. “I mean, anytime two chicks out one guy, there’s usually a hidden agenda. Right Britt?”
“Usually, yeah,” Brittany nods.
“So?” Artie questions. “Two hot chicks-two Cheerios asked you out. I know you’re on the football team, so dating’s not like super difficult, but I still think that’s huge.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Tina says. “But I agree with Puck. They’re up to something.”
“Thanks,” Puck says. “And hey! I can be right about things. Sometimes.”
“Scheming Cheerios is something Pucky’s very familiar with,” Brittany adds.
“Yeah.”
Mike looks to Rachel, who has remained surprisingly quiet on the subject.
“Rach?”
“It’s your call, Mike,” Rachel tells him. “But if you do say yes, then be very, very careful. I don’t trust those two. Missy, especially.”
“The blonde one, right?”
Rachel nods. “She’s the brains of the operation.”
“Wendy actually has a crush on you, Mike,” Brittany says.
The whole table looks at Brittany in surprise.
“Yeah,” Brittany continues. “I overheard her say something about it over the summer.”
“What did she say?”
“Just that you seem like a good guy with a hot body,” Brittany answers.
Mike blushes. Puck and Artie smirk and say, “Oooooh.”
“Maybe you could counter with just taking Wendy out,” Tina offers.
“Do you think they would go for that?” Mike asks.
Brittany shrugs. “Can’t hurt to try.”
…
Principal Figgins receives a call from Burt Hummel a little into lunch period. He explains that the seal around the windshield is loose and that’s what’s causing the helicopter noise.
“That’s why it gets louder the faster you go,” Burt tells him. “Though one thing you might want to know.”
“Oh?”
“It looks deliberate,” Burt says. “This can definitely happen on occasion, but usually it’s pretty obvious. This looks like it was done just right to not be noticeable.”
“Hmph.”
“It’s an easy enough fix,” Burt continues. “It should be ready this afternoon.”
Principal Figgins thanks him and hangs up. His immediate thought is that it’s the prankster going after him, except it doesn’t make sense. While yes the prankster has done things to his office, it’s always been something the whole school can witness. He or she seems to thrive on the school’s reaction. But this? This was done quietly, sneakily. That doesn’t seem like the prankster’s style. He groans to himself. Is he going to have to worry about a whole separate perpetrator?
…
“Are you going to confront them?” Rachel asks Santana as they walk to Santana’s locker.
Santana sighs. “I’m not sure yet.”
“They could just be moving on,” Rachel offers.
“Do you really believe that?”
“No,” Rachel replies. “The fact that they asked out one of my best friends raises flags for me. Though hearing that Wendy actually really likes Mike does explain it a bit.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that Missy isn’t going to shake everything up.”
“I’m sure she has some sort of plan,” Rachel agrees.
“Think he’ll go out with them?”
“I have no idea,” Rachel replies.
…
When Mike sees Wendy in the hallway alone before last period, he quickly grabs her and pulls her into an empty classroom.
Wendy looks a little nervous and just stands there.
“Uh, sorry,” Mike says. “I didn’t mean to just yank you in here. But I wanted to talk a minute. If that’s okay.”
Wendy looks a little worried now, but just nods.
“I’m going to have to say no to the date with both of you Friday night,” he tells her.
Wendy’s shoulders slump, but she nods. “I figured as much,” she grumbles, looking at the ground.
“Instead,” Mike continues. “I was wondering if just you and I could go out on Saturday night.”
Wendy looks up at Mike, hopeful. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Uh… Honestly? You’re cute and Missy’s kinda scary. Plus, I really don’t want to date two girls at one time. No matter how hot they are and what they imply may happen.”
"Um, really?" Wendy asks. "I thought that was every guys dream."
Mike shakes his head. "I dated Brittany while her and Santana were joined at the hip. I don't need a repeat of that."
"Um…"
"Just trust me on this," he tells her. "So what do you say? Saturday night?"
"Yeah, I'd like that," Wendy replies.
"Awesome. I'll pick you up at seven."
…
Thursday morning, Emma arrives a little earlier than usual. She does this occasionally, wanting to enjoy the quiet for as long as possible.
She's going over her notes from the first month of the school year when someone knocks on her door. Startled, she jumps. Feeling embarrassed, she looks up and sees a very handsome blonde man in his thirties, smiling sheepishly. Emma stands and opens her door.
"Good morning," he greets. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."
"It's fine," Emma replies. "Can I help you?"
"Yes, right. My name is Jack Pace and I'm substituting for Mrs. Matthews while she's on maternity leave. However, I seem to be a bit early since I couldn't find anyone in the main office."
Emma looks at the clock on the wall. "Principal Figgins should be in any moment. I can come wait with you if you'd like."
"I don't want to interrupt your work anymore than I already have," Jack protests.
Emma can't help but smile. "It's fine. I don't mind. Besides if you're going to be here for the next few months, we'll be seeing more of each other."
"I would like that," Jack smiles. "And if you don't mind me asking, what shall I call you?"
"Oh. Yes, of course. How rude of me. My name is Emma. Pillsbury. I'm the school guidance counselor.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Emma. Another reason being a bit early is a good thing."
"Oh?"
"Yes," Jack says. "Meeting you first has made this entire day worth it."
Emma feels herself blushing. "Oh, I'm sure that's not true."
"Oh, but it is," Jack assures her as they reach Figgins' office. "Oh I see Principal Figgins has arrived. Thank you for keeping me company on my walk back. Hopefully I'll be seeing you soon."
"Of course. And if you have any questions, well, you know where my office is," Emma tells him, her face still warm.
"I do indeed. It's been a pleasure meeting you, Miss Emma Pillsbury." Jack bows slightly and then disappears into Figgins office.
Feeling a bit like a naïve school girl, Emma lets herself smile a bit before returning to her office.
…
“Didn’t you just bake tons of cookies last week?” Santana asks Rachel.
It’s another Thursday evening spent in the kitchen watching Rachel bake. Santana doesn’t mind completely because she usually gets to sample a few; plus homemaker Rachel is incredibly adorable in Santana’s eyes. She decides to just enjoy the feeling of domesticity floating around instead of being freaked out. After all, it’s not like it’s news to her that she and Rachel already act like an old married couple.
“I did indeed,” Rachel replies. “However, I need to bake more.”
“Why?”
“I owe the Saunders’ brothers more for waxing McKinley for me,” Rachel answers.
“I still can’t believe that you got them to wax the entire school for cookies.”
“Well, four dozen cookies an hour is apparently quite convincing.”
“Still.”
“Well, they seem to enjoy sticking it to McKinley as well,” Rachel says. “Even if Figgins’ was only principal for Billy’s last year there, it may still feel like they’re fighting back against an unfair system.”
“Seriously?”
“Merely a guess,” Rachel shrugs. “Maybe they just enjoy causing chaos.”
“Hmph. Hey did you tell Chang that Coach Sylvester knows you’re the prankster?”
“Absolutely not,” Rachel replies.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s something I can’t explain. And I certainly don’t want to get into Coach owing me a favor. Can you imagine if more people knew?”
“It definitely sheds a new light on the situation.”
…
“What do you mean, he asked if he could take out just you?”
Friday morning, Missy and Wendy are in the far corner of the Cheerios’ locker room, after practice. Wendy knows she better tell Missy about Mike’s offer because if her best friend hears it from someone else, the accusations will start flying and then there’ll be yelling.
“He said he doesn’t want to date two girls at the same time,” Wendy explained.
“I thought that was every guy’s fantasy,” Missy retorts.
“Apparently it’s not his,” Wendy replies.
“I suppose you accepted.” It’s not a question.
Wendy nods.
“Hmmm. Well, this could still work in our advantage…”
“Mis, no,” Wendy protests. “The guy I’ve liked for a long time just asked me out. I don’t want there to be a plan or any scheming. I just want to go out and have a nice evening.”
Missy doesn’t answer right away and Wendy’s worried she’s about to suffer the girl’s wrath.
“Fine,” Missy says finally. “I’ll leave it. For now.”
…
When entire week without a prank passes, everyone seems a bit on edge. Even though there’s never been a set amount of time between pranks, the rapid succession that began with the start of the school year has taught everyone to stay cautious.
…
Figgins is in a relatively good mood when he walks to his car Friday afternoon. The week passed without any big, elaborate prank and though he knows there will most likely be something next week, for now he can relax. He has two days where he doesn’t have to think about this place.
He doesn’t notice the sound right away, but once he’s out of the parking lot, the odd helicopter noise is unmistakable. He sighs. It seems that someone broke the seal of the windshield again. Grumbling under his breath, he decides to see if Burt Hummel is still in his shop. Maybe he can get it fixed before Monday.
…
Mike knocks on Wendy's door at exactly seven. He hopes he didn't make a mistake asking Wendy out. He trusts that Brittany is correct about Wendy's crush, though, so he's pretty sure this will just be a normal date with no sinister overtones.
He hopes.
Surprisingly, Wendy opens the door. He expected a parent who would interrogate him. After all, he is a senior and Wendy is a sophomore. Though, speaking from experience, her being a Cheerio can be intimating on its own.
Feeling cheesy, he hands her a single rose. He lets out a sigh of relief when she smiles and shyly accepts it. He offers his hand and walks her to his car, where he opens the door for her.
When he slides into the driver's seat, he looks over at Wendy.
"You look lovely tonight," he says and reverses out of the driveway.
…
When Noah shows up on her doorstep Friday night, Rachel knows she's about to be talked into doing something insane.
"Insane? You wound me, bro."
"Noah," Rachel sighs. "Just tell me already."
"I want to learn how to shoot arrows."
"What is your obsession with sharp flying objects?" Rachel asks.
"C'mon, it'll be fun," Noah says. "And useful."
"How would it useful?"
"I don't know. Maybe you get stranded one day and have to learn to hunt with a bow and arrow."
"You know how I feel about eating animals, Noah."
"So if the choice was eating a rabbit or dying, you'd choose dying?" Noah asks.
"Well, no," Rachel replies. "First I'd try to find plants that I could eat instead. And where am I stranded that I need to be hunting anyway? And where did I get the bow and arrow? Did I bring it with me?"
"All right," Noah says. "Not the best example. I can admit that. But we're doing this."
"Fine," Rachel sighs. "But no drinking during."
"Agreed."
…
Mike takes her the Breadstix, partly because it is some sort of evil plot that involves making a scene, it'll be just as embarrassing for her. He feels bad for still not completely trusting Wendy, but he's heard some stories from Rachel. And he's pretty confident that she wasn't exaggerating.
And from what he can tell, Wendy is approaching the date with just as much caution. He wonders if it's because this first date is part of a more long term plan or if she's worried that his asking her out is part of some elaborate revenge plan from Santana. He doesn't know what went down between Rachel the two Cheerios, but whatever it was, was enough to cause Santana to growl every time either's girls' name is brought up.
Usually it's amusing. Tonight, it's a bit nerve racking.
However, as the evening progresses, it becomes easier to relax. The more time Mike spends with Wendy, the less sinister she seems. He remembers that Rachel called Missy the ringleader and Wendy's the follower. For some reason, this seems to help put him at ease. Plus, Rachel did say alone, Wendy's intentions are most likely pure.
Once they start talking about movies, the conversation picks up. They argue about their favorites and make recommendations to each other. Mike even comments at one point that he's going to force Wendy to watch his favorite movie since she's never seen any Monty Python.
They end up staying there talking until they're kicked out.
…
Despite the fact that Santana arrived at Rachel's bright and early and they've spent the day in bed, Santana is still annoyed when Rachel answers Mike's call.
"I want to know how his date went last night. "Don't you?"
"I guess."
"Hello Mike."
"Hey Rach," Mike replies. "I didn't interrupt anything did I?"
"I wouldn't have answered the phone if that was the case," Rachel tells him.
"Well that's reassuring," Santana mumbles.
Rachel elbows her.
"Oh. Cool. So you were right. Wendy's a sweetheart."
"Awww, good. So you had a good time?" Rachel asks.
"We stayed at Breadstix talking until we got kicked out," Mike tells her.
"I'm glad."
"You gonna ask her out again?" Santana asks, leaning over Rachel.
"Yep," Mike smirks. "We're going to a movie Sunday afternoon."
"Not today?"
"She already made plans with some other underclass Cheerios," Mike replies.
"Let's just hope Missy doesn't get involved in this," Rachel says.
"Mikey just has to be charming enough to make Wendy fall for him and it'll be fine," Santana says.
"Hey, I can be charming," Mike replies. "Just ask Britt."
"I know you can be, Mike," Rachel says. "Ignore Santana. She's just irritated that I answered my phone."
"She just jealous about how much you like me," Mike says.
"You wish, Chang," Santana snaps.
"No, you wish, Lopez."
"I'm glad you had a good time, Mike," Rachel interjects. "What movie are you seeing tomorrow?"
"They're doing a double feature of Singing in the Rain and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers."
"Nice," Santana says.
"Seven Brides is a ridiculous musical," Rachel says.
Mike shrugs. "I know the plot is insane, but you have to admit the dancing is amazing."
"That I can agree with."
"There's a musical you don't like?" Santana asks.
"We'll watch it one day and then you'll understand," Rachel replies. "Plus, it's not that I don't like it. I'm simply saying that the plot is absurd."
"Okay then. Well good luck, buddy," Santana says. "But Rach has to go."
"Um, apparently I do," Rachel says. "Good luck and I'll see you Monday."
"Bye Rach. Santana."
…
As Rachel breaks into McKinley again, very early Monday morning, she finds herself thinking about Mike's discovery that she's the prankster. His list of reasons seem so obvious when he lists them and yet no one else has figured it out. Well, Brittany figured it out and so did Coach Sylvester, but Rachel feels like those are special cases.
She wonders if that means she should be cutting back on pranks; maybe taking a break, like a month or so, instead of planning a week of theme pranks. Plus, just because her pranks are in honor of Fire Safety week, doesn't mean anyone else will get it.
Maybe a break would be a good idea, after this week. She's already put in too much time and planning to abandon this week's pranks.
Well, maybe not a whole month, since she has a Halloween prank planned as well.
Then again, Rachel thinks as she heads up to the roof, maybe a longer break would be a good idea, since her ideas are becoming insanely elaborate, which require a lot more work than stealing the school's supply of baseballs.
Maybe she'll discuss it with Santana later.
…
Monday morning when people begin shuffling into McKinley, they're hit with water balloons. No one can figure out where they're coming from, though they only seem to hit people when they walk through the front door.
As with most pranks, people don't warn their friends. A lot of people stay by the door and watch as people enter, laughing at their outrage at being hit.
…
The number of people that receive warning texts has increased. And so though, the majority of the school walks into the building soaked, there are a couple dozen that stroll in with umbrellas or raincoats that stay relatively dry.
…
It isn't until the middle of third period that the janitorial staff finds a massive collection of water balloons on the roof. The balloons fall through several funnel like objects that lets one balloon fall at a time onto anyone who enters the school.
Tony, the head janitor, marvels at the number of water balloons they find still on the roof. It's his understanding that several hundred balloons have already fallen and there seem to be twice as many still left.
…
As always, the speculation about the prankster is the main topic of conversation. Those who were victims of slushies on a regular basis watch amused as the rest of the school complains about being splashed with water.
"Is it wrong that I'm a little disappointed that Santana didn't fill the balloons with slushie instead of just water?" Kurt asks Mercedes.
"Maybe she was afraid of giving Rachel flashbacks of her past cruelty."
"That actually seems quite probable," Kurt agrees.
…
Figgins' secretary hands him a note after lunch saying that his windshield has been fixed and his car has been dropped off and left in his parking spot.
…
Tuesday morning is the monthly staff meeting and everyone wants to know why Figgins has been yet unable to find the prankster.
"Do any of you have any idea who it is?" Figgins asks.
There's no response.
"Exactly."
"We can't put up with another year of this," someone protests.
"What exactly are you all talking about?" Jack Pace asks.
"Ah, yes, our newest member," Figgins says. "Well, Jack, it seems this school has a prankster."
"An extremely devious, skilled and meticulous one," Emma adds. "He or she has been terrorizing this school for over a year now."
"But no one knows who it is?" he asks.
"It's none of the usual suspects," Figgins answers. "I had hoped that it was one of last year's seniors and that it wouldn't be a problem anymore, but apparently not."
"Um, all right."
"Ignore him, new guy," Sue says. "His ability to sniff out a suspect is akin to his ability to speak Portuguese."
"I don't speak Portuguese, Sue," Figgins retorts.
"My point exactly," Sue replies. "Why else would you put my Cheerios on probation without any proof? You're grasping at straws."
"No one seems to know anything," Emma tells Jack. "Or if they do, they're not talking."
Sue pulls her cell out of her pocket and reads a text.
"Well, how bad can these pranks be?" Jack asks.
Everyone begins talking at once, listing off the various things that have happened over the last year. While this happens, Sue quietly slips out of the room.
"All right, all right, all right," Figgins says, trying to restore order. "Let's not overwhelm the man. This is school isn't perfect, but what American high school is."
Emma's cell phone buzzes. She pulls it out and pales slightly. Looking around, she tries to remain calm. It doesn't work.
"I need to go," Emma says, standing up abruptly. "I'm, um, not feeling so well. Uh, Jack, would you mind accompanying me to the nurse's office?"
"Emma," Figgins says. "You know we don't have a nurse."
"Yes," Emma agrees. "But we do have nursing supplies."
"Of course I'll walk you there," Jack says standing.
"I could go with you, if you'd like, Em," Will speaks up.
"That's all right, Will," Emma says. "I figure I can give Jack a bit more background on the prankster as we walk."
"Oh. Okay."
Jack offers Emma his arm and the two stroll out of the room.
"So what are you going to do about the prankster?" Will asks Figgins.
"I'm willing to hear ideas," Figgins replies. "Anyone?"
Emma's abrupt exit gives Will pause. He looks around the room, trying to see what kind of prank could be set up. He then pulls out his cell phone, but there are no missed calls or texts. He wonders what he did to piss off the prankster. Will then wonders about Emma taking the new guy with her instead of him. His only conclusion is that Emma wanted to spare him since it's his first week.
At least he hopes that's the reason.
Will doesn't get to finish his thought because the room becomes chaos when water balloons seem to be flying everywhere. It doesn't take long for everyone in the room to be soaked. And yet the balloons keep flying. No one can figure out where they're coming from and they angrily and frantically leave the room.
…
Quinn is waiting for Rachel at her locker, Tuesday morning.
"Good morning, Quinn," Rachel greets.
"Hi Rachel."
"What brings you by my locker this fine Tuesday morning?"
"I wanted to say thank you again for helping me visit Alyson," Quinn says.
"Of course," Rachel replies. "You know I do love organizational projects like that. Besides, I'm glad you finally seem to be happy in a relationship."
"God, you're ridiculous," Quinn smiles.
"Such a sweet talker,"
"Yeah, well, simply saying thanks doesn't seem like enough," Quinn continues. "Especially considering what a bitch I was."
"I understand where it was coming from Quinn," Rachel replies. "But I appreciate the apology."
"I, uh, got you this to say thanks," Quinn says. "I would have given you it last week, but it took longer to get than I thought." She hands Rachel a white envelope.
Accepting it, Rachel opens it and pulls out two tickets.
"Two tickets to West Side Story?"
"Yeah," Quinn nods. "I figure you and San can go Saturday night."
"Quinn, you didn't drive to Columbus to get these, did you?"
Quinn looks embarrassed. "I might have."
"That is so sweet," Rachel gushes. "Alyson is a very lucky girl."
"I'm glad you like 'em."
"I do. Thank you Quinn."
"Thanks for being so understanding, Rachel."
…
Even odder than the water balloon by the prankster is the sight of Mike Chang and Wendy Kory walking through the halls holding hands. Everyone is so used to seeing Wendy and Missy stroll down the hall together, that there are a lot of double takes.
…
Everyone notices that Mr. Schue seems to be in a terrible mood during practice. They all assume it's because the prankster struck again. Though none of them would admit it, they're all kind of glad that the prankster seems to go after everyone. No one is safe, students, popular or unpopular, the teachers, the administration, even the Cheerios.
Meanwhile, Will knows he's being a bit ridiculous, but he just can't get the image of Emma walking out of the meeting this morning, arm in arm with Jack Pace.
…
Because the prankster struck the students on Monday morning and the teachers Tuesday morning, no one suspects another prank for a few days at least. Most people assume nothing will happen again until next week.
Lunch is almost over when it happens. Just as it happened Tuesday morning, water balloons begin flying and no one knows quite what to think. Nor can anyone tell exactly where the balloons are coming from. They seem to be dropping from the ceiling and being shot from the wall. The chaos is immediate as everyone is quickly soaked. There's a stamped towards the door that ends with people slipping and falling. This has a domino effect and soon almost everyone is on the ground, groaning and drenched.
…
While Santana enjoys a good prank as much as the next badass, she has to admit that such elaborate ones daily is exhausting to set up every damn night. She doesn’t know how Rachel does it; her girlfriend still seems her usual bouncy self. If it was anyone else, she'd suspect drugs. Knowing Rachel, she's just high on endorphins and achievement.
…
When the students begin trickling in Thursday morning, no one gives any thought to the random laundry carts scattered throughout the hallway. Most people just assume some idiot left them there after practice.
As Rachel walks through the hall, marveling at what people are willing to ignore, she decides that maybe her classmates deserve everything she's dishing out. Not because of the placidity towards the slushing or bullying of others, but because they don't seem to care about anything outside themselves. If they did, maybe Rachel would be having more difficulty hiding the fact that she's the prankster. Yes, they're all teenagers, but after three days of water balloons, any unknowns should be enough to cause suspicion.
She reaches the auditorium and quietly slides inside. She finds some of her fellow glee clubbers in the audience while Kurt, Mercedes, Brittany and Tina dance on stage. Rachel also spots Marisa and Wendy, sitting next to Mike. She wonders what Brittany and Mike told their girlfriends to justify hanging out in the auditorium this morning.
"Wanna make out, babe?"
Santana is sitting in the last row, watching the antics on stage. Rachel plops down next to her.
"Where's Quinn?"
"Talking to Coach," Santana replies. "They'll stay put until after, I'm sure."
Rachel's just about to ask where Noah and Artie are, when she notices the pair sitting just off stage, quietly playing guitars.
"They're gonna try a duet," Santana says.
"That should be amazing," Rachel replies.
"Depends what song they pick," Santana retorts.
"Enter Sandman by Metallica is my guess," Rachel says.
Santana just barely holds back a loud laugh. "Seriously?"
Rachel nods.
Santana can only shake her head at that. "You are so weird, babe."
"What do you think about Mike and Wendy?" Rachel asks.
"I don't know," Santana replies. "I trust B when she says she overheard that Wendy likes Mike, but I just don't know if Missy will let her have this or she'll try and use it to her advantage."
"I guess it depends on how important Wendy's happiness is to her," Rachel says.
"I suppose it does," Santana agrees. "You'd think that would make the answer obvious. But it doesn't."
"You're making me feel bad for Wendy."
"Well, if her and Mikey hit it off, then it won't be so bad."
Rachel's answer is cut off by the sound of absolute chaos coming from the hallway, causing Santana to smirk.
"I almost wish I was out there," she says. "Just so I could see it all."
"You'd be too wet and annoyed to properly see anything," Rachel tells her.
"You know if the Broadway thing doesn't work out, you'd totally make an awesome evil genius," Santana says.
"Would you be working with me?"
"Probably. I'd be the muscle."
"Like a body guard?"
"Well, I'd make sure that cute ass is always safe, if that's what you mean."
"Then I guess I have a backup plan," Rachel says.
…
Jack and Emma are having lunch in her office. It's probably the safest place in the school, especially since the prankster seems to like her, despite having given up on Will. She's surprised that Jack hasn't asked about the prankster. There's been a water balloon attack every day this week so far, including the one during the staff meeting that they just narrowly missed. And yet, Jack hasn't brought it up once.
Emma's pretty sure he's waiting for her to bring it up; she just can't figure out why.
Emma wishes she could forget about the prankster, because she's having a lovely time. Jack is smart, funny, speaks three languages, is well traveled and tells incredible stories. She's having such a great time that Emma almost forgets she's in her office and not on a date.
The word date shakes her out of her daydream and so Emma decides to bring the prankster up.
"So you're not going to ask?"
"Ask what?"
"About the prankster," Emma says. "You have to be curious."
"I admit to having a bit of an interest," Jack admits. "If simply for the fact that I'm a bit confused about the situation."
"Oh?"
"Yes. I find it hard to believe that one student has been pulling pranks on this school for over a year and hasn't been caught."
"Well, honestly? They probably have been caught," Emma replies.
"I'm really confused then," Jack says. "If the prankster was caught, why are the pranks continuing?"
"Because no one's been, uh, found guilty. There's absolutely no proof. Several people have been accused and I imagine one of them is in fact the prankster. But without absolute proof we can't punish anyone. Principal Figgins won't risk the lawsuit."
"No proof what so ever?"
"None we can use," Emma replies. "Any evidence we find ends up being a dead end. And before you say we should beef up security, Figgins would never pay for it."
"But paying his janitorial staff over time to deal with all these messes is okay?"
"Apparently."
…
Friday morning, a flat tire makes Principal Figgins late. After waiting for the tow truck, which gives him a ride to school, he arrives around the same time as students begin stumbling in.
As he approaches his office, a crowd is beginning to form around his office and a very bad feeling starts to build.
When the students notice who is trying to push through the crowd, they immediately part and let him through.
The parting of students allows Figgins to see his office for the first time. It is completely filled with water balloons, enough so that because the door swings inwards, it will take a lot of force to push the door in. The problem with that is the force of the door is sure to break the balloons. Figgins can only imagine the amount of water that is going to pour out of his office. Not to mention that everything inside will be ruined. The room is too full of balloons for there to be any way to empty it without popping some.
He sighs. He really hates the prankster.
…
The janitors decide to build something to guide the water out of the school. It takes half the day, but by lunch there's a canal like path from Figgins' office door to the closest exit and out the door.
The next hurdle is how to start the process. The only solution seems to pop enough balloons to get in, though the likely hood of most of the balloons popping seems high.
The thought of everything in Figgins' office being destroyed worries both Mitch and Bob. Tony is probably safe since he's head janitor and though Figgins is loathe to admit it, he does need at least one janitor. Tony maintains that the school needs more than one, and for now that's been true, but if Figgins has to replace everything in his office, there may be some budget concerns after.
They decide to just push the door open and start the popping of the balloons. It starts small; so much so that at first, the floor is just wet, but the more balloons that pop, the more they can push the door in, which in turn pops more balloons. Soon it's a torrent of water as balloons burst by the dozen, it seems.
It's a sight to behold and a crowd of students and faculty gather to watch.
…
"You're really a bitch," Santana tells Rachel as they walk to her car.
"I'm taking that as a compliment," Rachel replies. "Because I'm not in the mood to be mad at you."
"Hey, I'm not the one that terrorized our school all week with water balloons," Santana retorts.
"Terrorized? Please," Rachel scoffs. "Don't be so dramatic."
"Pot. Kettle."
"Besides, you're the one that helped the bitch terrorize this school all week with water balloons," Rachel reminds Santana.
"Yeah, but everyone already knows I'm a bitch," Santana replies.
"I'm fairly certain that the fact that the rest of the school considers me more of a drama queen than a bitch is really just splitting hairs."
"I suppose that's true," Santana chuckles.
"Besides," Rachel says. "You had fun. I know you did."
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, it was tedious as fuck, but I do enjoy pulling pranks with you."
"Well, I consider it worth all the effort."
"Yeah, but sometimes I worry that Figgins is going to stick you with a huge bill to cover the cost of clean up," Santana replies.
"Perhaps," Rachel says. "But this time we took out everything we could, so it wouldn't be ruined by water. So technically we didn't destroy any school equipment or paperwork."
"How long do you think it'll take them to find everything?"
"Longer than it should," Rachel replies. "The gym is the most obvious place."
"To you maybe."
…
It's been a long week. A prank every day is exhausting to deal with and Principal Figgins is more than ready for this week to be over. Wearily, he climbs in his car and pulls out of the parking lot.
Only to groan in frustration when the helicopter noise begins as he picks up speed. Between the balloons and going several days without it happening again, Figgins was sure that it was just a two time thing; he was obviously being naïve.
Growling with aggravation, he wonders what the hell he did to this prankster that he would go after him like this, in addition to the other pranks this week.
It then occurs to him that all those things he just listed require a lot of work. In fact, a lot of the pranks that have occurred most likely required a lot of work. Maybe the prankster is in fact several individuals. That would make sense.
Maybe he needs to reexamine this prankster situation.
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Brittany/Marisa, Mike, Wendy, Emma, Figgins, Sue, Will, Missy, Quinn, Puck
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In which Mike begins to figure things out, lots of movies are watched and Rachel steps up her pranks.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~9,000
Spoilers: Not really.
A/N: Follows Another Road Trip
2nd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
While Mike is extremely grateful to the prankster for the day off, the timing of it gives him pause. He ends up hanging out with Artie, Tina, Mercedes, Kurt, Puck and Finn at Kurt and Finn’s. The TV’s on, but everyone’s kind of just doing their own thing. It gives him time to think.
The fact that school’s cancelled for the day isn’t anything unusual in relation to the prankster. The fact that Rachel, Santana, Brittany and Quinn are skipping today could be a coincidence, but Mike knows how much Rachel hates to miss school.
The identity of the prankster has been speculated on for months, almost an entire year actually, but no one has yet to figure it out.
The fact that the glee club receives a warning definitely implies that it’s someone that cares about them, which narrows it down to someone in the group. Everyone always thinks it’s Santana, but Mike’s not too sure. Because while Santana has changed a lot since she and Rachel started dating, part of Mike still wonders if the idea of warning her fellow glee clubbers would really occur to Santana.
Rachel, on the other hand…
And Mike has seen her build some amazing things. The Halifax Gibbet for example. Mike had never even heard of a Halifax Gibbet, much less thought about building one. Yeah, the hugging machine came with instructions, but it seemed so natural watching her put it together.
He thinks back to some of the more elaborate pranks: the working castle, the slushie shower, the fireworks display; they all seem rather elaborate, even over waxing the floor. It's a simple sentence, but McKinley is a huge school; waxing that many square feet of linoleum takes a bit of planning.
As the pranks have become more complex, Mike has often thought that they must have studied the same tips Rachel did because only someone with incredible organizational skills could do something so intricate.
Not to mention the fact that it's been almost a year and no one really seems to have any clue who the prankster is. Speculation and rumor don't count.
But now that Mike knows Rachel possesses the skills to pull off the detailed and grand pranks, she really is the only likely suspect. In fact, he's kind of kicking himself for not realizing it earlier.
He also can't believe that Finn was right last year.
Of course the problem is, he doesn't know for sure. He knows he's right, but he doesn't know he's right. However, confirming his suspicions isn't the only reason he wants to ask Rachel about it. He also just wants to ask about it. He's curious why she chained all the Cheerios, including her girlfriend to a gate. There has to be a story there.
He spends the weekend wondering if he has the guts to ask; if Rachel would answer truthfully. Because he wouldn't blame her one bit for denying it. After all, the more people that know, the higher the chances of being caught are. Though with absolutely no evidence, could Rachel be punished on word of mouth? Since Figgins hasn't suspended anyone for being the prankster, Mike guesses not.
He decides not to ask her. It's better if he doesn't know; the speculation is half the fun.
…
The moment Rachel steps foot inside McKinley, Monday morning, she has Becky at her side.
“Good morning, Becky,” Rachel greets. “Did you have a nice weekend?”
Becky nods. “Charlie and I hung out all day Saturday. It was awesome. How was Pittsburgh?”
“It was lovely. I take it Coach Sylvester wants to talk to me?”
Becky nods again. “Yep. Said it’s urgent.”
“Well then, lead on, Ms. Jackson.”
…
Coach Sylvester is journaling when Rachel enters. She sits and waits for the woman to acknowledge. When Coach Sylvester looks up after only a minute, Rachel knows she must rate pretty high in the coach’s admiration.
“Berry. Good. We need to talk.”
“How can I help you, Coach?”
“Well now that my Cheerios are no longer on probation, I thought it might be nice to issue some payback.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” Rachel admits.
“I’d like to pull a prank on Figgins,” Coach Sylvester explains. “And you’re going to give me an idea.”
“I am?”
“You are.”
“And then… You’ll owe me another favor?” Rachel questions.
“Actually, no,” Coach Sylvester replies.
“No?”
“No,” Coach Sylvester repeats. “While I am more than willing to owe you over something like ruining your curly haired leader’s day, I am not willing to owe you over that you caused.”
Rachel manages to last over a minute in the staring contest before conceding.
“Very well. What did you have in mind?”
“Ultimately, I’d like a few things that I can stretch out over time like we did with William. However, since you will technically not be reaping any rewards from this, I’ll settle for just one. But it better be good.”
“Well, I do have one that could be done multiple times, that I was never sure if I could pull off,” Rachel offers.
“Excellent, Berry,” Coach Sylvester says. “Let’s hear it.”
…
When Rachel exits Coach Sylvester’s office, she finds Brittany waiting for her.
“Hello Brittany.”
“Hi Rachel.”
“How are things?”
“Good,” Brittany replies. “Can I ask a favor?”
“Course you can.”
“Well, I know you and San usually hang out together on Tuesday nights, but I was hoping that maybe me and Marisa could join you. It’s just all we want to do is cuddle on the couch, but we can’t really do it at her place because of her little brothers and it’s always so crazy at my house.”
“Um… Well, I don’t have a problem with it. But of course we should probably check with Santana.”
“Yay. Okay. I’ll ask her,” Brittany replies. “Thanks Rach.” She hugs Rachel briefly and then skips off down the hall to find Santana.
…
Sue decides to implement Berry’s idea today if possible. Since it can be pulled multiple times, she might as well begin the fun sooner rather than later. It’s simple enough, though it is going to take a bit of coordinating, but that’s Sue’s forte. She can’t wait to watch Figgins be completely flabbergasted by it. She has to hand it to Berry for this one because Sue's not sure she ever could have come up with something like this.
…
When Mike sees Rachel in the halls between second and third period, he unintentionally ends up asking if she wants to hang out later.
"I’m in the mood for some 80s dance movies," he says. "Footloose and Dirty Dancing, maybe?"
"Yeah, that sounds like fun," Rachel replies.
"Awesome," Mike says. "I'll be over after I stop at home and grab the movies."
"See you then."
Mike continues to his locker. He hadn't planned on asking Rachel to hang out. It just sort of happened. It's not a bad thing; he has a good time hanging with Rachel. He just hopes he doesn't blurt out anything, like asking if Rachel's the prankster. That probably won't end well.
…
Watching Rachel's interact with Mike Chang gives Missy an idea. Now she just needs to talk to Wendy about it.
…
Principal Figgins climbs into his car after another long day with a sigh. Being the principal at McKinley has always been a trial, but this year already feels like a burden and it's barely started.
He's so lost in his own thoughts, he doesn't notice it at first. But after speeding up to catch a yellow light on Hawthorne Ave, it's difficult to miss. The roof of his car is making a rather obnoxious noise. It sounds a bit like a far off helicopter. He decreases his speed and the noise stops. He then speeds up and the sound becomes louder. Perplexed, he continues driving home. He'll have to call his mechanic tomorrow.
…
Mike must have left school before Rachel because she's only home moments before the doorbell rings.
It doesn't take long for them to get settled on the couch. Mike wants to watch Footloose first, since it's his favorite. Rachel doesn't have a preference, so she just nods as Mike slides the disc into the player.
Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Penn have just arrived at the dance, when Mike pauses it and suggests they order pizza. Not feeling up to cooking, Rachel agrees and calls in an order. Mike tells her he'd be willing to try the vegan version as she's on hold.
"Really?" Rachel questions. "You don't have to."
"I'm curious."
"All right then," Rachel nods. "Yes, hi, this is Rachel Berry and I wanted to place an order for delivery."
Once the order is placed, Rachel hangs up and says, "About twenty minutes."
"Cool," Mike replies, hitting play on the remote.
…
When the pizza arrives, they stop Dirty Dancing. Jennifer Gray is just arriving at the party with the watermelon and so it seems like a good place to stop.
Once they have plates and drinks, Rachel wants to start the movie again, but Mike can't stop himself from blurting out, "Are you the prankster?"
Rachel blinks at him several times in shock. "What makes you ask?"
"Because there's no one else at McKinley that it could be," Mike replies.
"That's not true," Rachel protests. "There are several people who--"
"Actually, I think the list is very short once you start adding up the evidence," Mike interrupts. "One. Someone that would warn glee club. Two. Someone smart enough to get away with it. Three. Someone with excellent planning abilities to come up with some of the pranks. Four. Someone with the ability to build elaborate and massive contraptions. And five. Someone who can keep a secret."
"That still isn't conclusive."
"And while, yes, the argument still could be made that it's Santana, we both know it's not," Mike continues. "Yes, maybe she could build some of the things that have happened, but I don't believe that about all of them."
Rachel sighs.
"C'mon, Rach," Mike says. "I know I'm not like your bro or whatever like Puck, but--"
"It's not that Mike," Rachel tells him. "I value your friendship just as much as I do Noah's. It's just that the less people that know, the better. And too many people know already."
"Who else knows?" Mike asks, but then answers his own question. "Puck, obviously. Santana for sure. But who else?"
"Brittany."
"Yeah," Mike nods. "Nothing gets by her."
"So true."
"I have some bad news for you, Rach," Mike says after a moment.
"What's that?"
"I think more people are going to start figuring it out."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because of all the reasons I listed before," Mike explains. "And after the Halifax Gibbet, a lot more people know that you meet all my listed reasons. Before that, reason four was enough to stop the doubt. Well that and reason six."
"You didn't give a reason six," Rachel points out.
"I didn't," Mike agrees. "But it's someone having the guts to pull all these things off. So you might still be safe there because I'm not sure that everyone believes that yet."
"Really?" Rachel questions. "Then I'm not sure they're paying attention."
"People see what they want to see, Rach."
"Well now that you know my secret, I have no choice but to take you out," Rachel tells Mike.
"Uh… Listen, Rachel, I didn't--"
"Mike, I'm kidding," Rachel says.
"Oh right. I knew that."
"But please don't tell anyone else," Rachel continues.
"Of course not," Mike replies. "Your secret is safe with me."
…
Santana is just finishing her homework when she receives a text message from Rachel.
Mike knows I'm the prankster.
You told him? Santana texts back.
He guessed. Rachel responds
Do I need to talk to him?
I don't believe so. I see no reason NOT to trust him.
What if he slips up and tells someone?
Such as who? Rachel questions.
Santana doesn't have answer for this, but she doesn't like it. I don't know. I just don't like it.
I know. Rachel texts back. The more people that know, the more risk there is.
Santana's just about to reply when Rachel texts again.
We'll just have to take it one day at a time. Right?
Right.
After all, I still have that favor from Coach Sylvester. Rachel texts.
Another good point, babe. Santana replies. What are you wearing?
Santana! If you wanted to sext, then you should have texted me earlier in the evening. It's already past my bedtime. I need my beauty sleep.
No you don't. Santana texts. You're already gorgeous and you know it. But whatever, no sexting. I expect you to make it up to me tomorrow.
Thank you, San. Good night. I love you.
Love you too, babe.
…
Principal Figgins drives to McKinley slowly, not wanting to cause the obnoxious noise if he can help it. Even after two cups of coffee, it's a little too early to have to listen to the helicopter that has now become his car.
In his office, he makes a call to Burt Hummel and asks if he has time to look at it today. He doesn't, but he should tomorrow. Figgins tells Burt he'll drop it off after work.
…
Tuesday at lunch, Missy makes Wendy sit at an empty table instead of the Cheerios' one that they usually sit at. Wendy eats her lunch and nods along with Missy's plans as the blonde watches Rachel sitting with her friends at a nearby table.
"I thought we were going to let that be," Wendy says.
"We did," Missy replies. "And now we're trying something else."
Wendy sighs. "Please just don't get me killed, Mis."
…
Brittany tries to get Marisa to come to glee Tuesday afternoon.
"I'd really rather not."
"C'mon Marisa," Brittany says. "You don't have to join. I just… I hate the idea of you sitting somewhere else, alone, waiting for us."
"Doing my homework in the library isn't that big of deal," Marisa tells her.
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure, Britt."
"All right, then I'll see you after."
…
Since Rachel still has some of the pizza from last night left, she's really not in the mood to order anymore. Thankfully, the other three understand this and are perfectly fine with Thai food and so Rachel calls up Amazing Thailand, the closest Thai place she's been able to bully into cooking vegan. She places the order and agrees to pay the outrageous delivery fee. After all, she's well out of their delivery range.
Since this is Brittany's idea. She gets to pick the movie. Brittany had been shocked to learn that Marisa had never seen Reservoir Dogs, which is Brittany's favorite movie. So tonight, she was going to fix that.
The four of them curl up on the couch, Marisa, Brittany, Rachel and Santana as Brittany hits play on the remote.
…
"I'm not really sure about this, Mis," Wendy says Wednesday morning after Cheerios' practice.
"Don't be ridiculous," Missy replies. "You already admit you have a crush on him, so what's the big deal?"
"Well, I guess I thought if he and I ever went out it wouldn't be part of some plot," Wendy answers.
"If that was really true, then you would have already approached him," Missy replies. "Even though you're only a sophomore, you're still a Cheerio. Besides, Chang is nice enough that he definitely wouldn't have brushed you off if you approached him."
"Maybe I just wasn't ready," Wendy retorts.
"Well get ready," Missy tells her. "Because this is happening."
"You're a god damn bitch," Wendy says.
"I know."
…
When Mike gets to his locker Wednesday morning, there are two Cheerios leaning against it. They look familiar; though he thinks that about all the Cheerios, because he's so used to just seeing them around. But when he reaches his locker, he realizes he really does recognize them. It's the red head and blonde who Santana hates; Rachel said something about them being over zealous.
"Excuse me, ladies," he says. "I need to get into my locker.
"Hi Mike," they reply as they move to either side of his locker.
"Not to be rude," Mike continues as he digs through his locker. "But what are you two doing here?"
"Waiting for you," the blonde replies. "I'm Missy and this is Wendy."
The red head, Wendy, waves.
"Nice to meet you," Mike says.
"We know it's last minute," Missy continues. "But are you busy Friday night?"
"I don't have specific plans, yet," Mike replies.
"Wanna go out on a date, Friday night?" Wendy asks.
"Um, well…"
"With both of us," Missy throws out.
"Uh…"
"Just think about it," Missy says. She leans in and kisses him on the cheek. Wendy kisses him on the other and then they skip off down the hall, leaving Mike staring after them.
…
Mike makes a beeline for Rachel when he spots her at lunch.
"Hi Mike," Rachel says as Mike sits next to her.
"Hey Rach," Mike replies. "Question for you."
"All right."
"Those two Cheerios that Santana hates? The red head and the blonde? Why exactly does Santana hate them?"
"Um, because they kept hitting on me and wouldn't take no for an answer," Rachel answers.
"Oh."
"Uh, why do you ask?"
"They asked me out this morning," Mike tells her.
"Seriously?"
Mike nods.
"Well, that's… Good, I guess," Rachel manages.
"What's good, babe?" Santana says, sliding next to Rachel.
"Missy and Wendy asked Mike out this morning," Rachel tells her.
"And what was your response, Mikey?" Santana asks.
"I didn't know what to say," Mike replies. "They told me to think about it. But why do I have the feeling, they're just going to keep asking until I say yes?"
"It's kinda their M.O.," Brittany says sitting next to Mike.
"Do you even know who we're talking about B?" Santana asks.
"Of course I do," Brittany replies. "You're talking about your blonde and red headed nemesises. Right? Is that a word?"
"What is the plural for nemesis?" Rachel questions.
"Nemesi?" Tina suggests, sitting down across from Rachel.
"I think it's like deer," Artie says, joining them. "You can say, she is my nemesis. Or I have many nemesis."
“It sounds wrong,” Rachel says.
“It does,” Artie agrees. Though nemesises sounds really weird too.”
“Does this mean you’re some sort of super hero, San?” Brittany asks. “That you have two nemesis?”
“More like evil mastermind,” Artie says. He then coughs, “Prankster.”
Tina elbows him.
“Think it all you want people,” Santana says. “But I swear on my Cheerios uniform that I’m not the prankster.”
“She’s not,” Rachel adds.
Mike smirks. “So can we get back to my issue?”
“Which is what exactly?” Artie asks.
“He got asked out by those two crazy Cheerios,” Brittany informs them. “The persistent ones that were bugging Rachel all summer.”
“Both of them?” Artie questions.
“Uh huh.”
“What is there to think about?” Artie asks. “You say yes.”
“I don’t know about that,” Puck says as he sits next to Tina. “I mean, anytime two chicks out one guy, there’s usually a hidden agenda. Right Britt?”
“Usually, yeah,” Brittany nods.
“So?” Artie questions. “Two hot chicks-two Cheerios asked you out. I know you’re on the football team, so dating’s not like super difficult, but I still think that’s huge.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Tina says. “But I agree with Puck. They’re up to something.”
“Thanks,” Puck says. “And hey! I can be right about things. Sometimes.”
“Scheming Cheerios is something Pucky’s very familiar with,” Brittany adds.
“Yeah.”
Mike looks to Rachel, who has remained surprisingly quiet on the subject.
“Rach?”
“It’s your call, Mike,” Rachel tells him. “But if you do say yes, then be very, very careful. I don’t trust those two. Missy, especially.”
“The blonde one, right?”
Rachel nods. “She’s the brains of the operation.”
“Wendy actually has a crush on you, Mike,” Brittany says.
The whole table looks at Brittany in surprise.
“Yeah,” Brittany continues. “I overheard her say something about it over the summer.”
“What did she say?”
“Just that you seem like a good guy with a hot body,” Brittany answers.
Mike blushes. Puck and Artie smirk and say, “Oooooh.”
“Maybe you could counter with just taking Wendy out,” Tina offers.
“Do you think they would go for that?” Mike asks.
Brittany shrugs. “Can’t hurt to try.”
…
Principal Figgins receives a call from Burt Hummel a little into lunch period. He explains that the seal around the windshield is loose and that’s what’s causing the helicopter noise.
“That’s why it gets louder the faster you go,” Burt tells him. “Though one thing you might want to know.”
“Oh?”
“It looks deliberate,” Burt says. “This can definitely happen on occasion, but usually it’s pretty obvious. This looks like it was done just right to not be noticeable.”
“Hmph.”
“It’s an easy enough fix,” Burt continues. “It should be ready this afternoon.”
Principal Figgins thanks him and hangs up. His immediate thought is that it’s the prankster going after him, except it doesn’t make sense. While yes the prankster has done things to his office, it’s always been something the whole school can witness. He or she seems to thrive on the school’s reaction. But this? This was done quietly, sneakily. That doesn’t seem like the prankster’s style. He groans to himself. Is he going to have to worry about a whole separate perpetrator?
…
“Are you going to confront them?” Rachel asks Santana as they walk to Santana’s locker.
Santana sighs. “I’m not sure yet.”
“They could just be moving on,” Rachel offers.
“Do you really believe that?”
“No,” Rachel replies. “The fact that they asked out one of my best friends raises flags for me. Though hearing that Wendy actually really likes Mike does explain it a bit.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that Missy isn’t going to shake everything up.”
“I’m sure she has some sort of plan,” Rachel agrees.
“Think he’ll go out with them?”
“I have no idea,” Rachel replies.
…
When Mike sees Wendy in the hallway alone before last period, he quickly grabs her and pulls her into an empty classroom.
Wendy looks a little nervous and just stands there.
“Uh, sorry,” Mike says. “I didn’t mean to just yank you in here. But I wanted to talk a minute. If that’s okay.”
Wendy looks a little worried now, but just nods.
“I’m going to have to say no to the date with both of you Friday night,” he tells her.
Wendy’s shoulders slump, but she nods. “I figured as much,” she grumbles, looking at the ground.
“Instead,” Mike continues. “I was wondering if just you and I could go out on Saturday night.”
Wendy looks up at Mike, hopeful. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Uh… Honestly? You’re cute and Missy’s kinda scary. Plus, I really don’t want to date two girls at one time. No matter how hot they are and what they imply may happen.”
"Um, really?" Wendy asks. "I thought that was every guys dream."
Mike shakes his head. "I dated Brittany while her and Santana were joined at the hip. I don't need a repeat of that."
"Um…"
"Just trust me on this," he tells her. "So what do you say? Saturday night?"
"Yeah, I'd like that," Wendy replies.
"Awesome. I'll pick you up at seven."
…
Thursday morning, Emma arrives a little earlier than usual. She does this occasionally, wanting to enjoy the quiet for as long as possible.
She's going over her notes from the first month of the school year when someone knocks on her door. Startled, she jumps. Feeling embarrassed, she looks up and sees a very handsome blonde man in his thirties, smiling sheepishly. Emma stands and opens her door.
"Good morning," he greets. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."
"It's fine," Emma replies. "Can I help you?"
"Yes, right. My name is Jack Pace and I'm substituting for Mrs. Matthews while she's on maternity leave. However, I seem to be a bit early since I couldn't find anyone in the main office."
Emma looks at the clock on the wall. "Principal Figgins should be in any moment. I can come wait with you if you'd like."
"I don't want to interrupt your work anymore than I already have," Jack protests.
Emma can't help but smile. "It's fine. I don't mind. Besides if you're going to be here for the next few months, we'll be seeing more of each other."
"I would like that," Jack smiles. "And if you don't mind me asking, what shall I call you?"
"Oh. Yes, of course. How rude of me. My name is Emma. Pillsbury. I'm the school guidance counselor.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Emma. Another reason being a bit early is a good thing."
"Oh?"
"Yes," Jack says. "Meeting you first has made this entire day worth it."
Emma feels herself blushing. "Oh, I'm sure that's not true."
"Oh, but it is," Jack assures her as they reach Figgins' office. "Oh I see Principal Figgins has arrived. Thank you for keeping me company on my walk back. Hopefully I'll be seeing you soon."
"Of course. And if you have any questions, well, you know where my office is," Emma tells him, her face still warm.
"I do indeed. It's been a pleasure meeting you, Miss Emma Pillsbury." Jack bows slightly and then disappears into Figgins office.
Feeling a bit like a naïve school girl, Emma lets herself smile a bit before returning to her office.
…
“Didn’t you just bake tons of cookies last week?” Santana asks Rachel.
It’s another Thursday evening spent in the kitchen watching Rachel bake. Santana doesn’t mind completely because she usually gets to sample a few; plus homemaker Rachel is incredibly adorable in Santana’s eyes. She decides to just enjoy the feeling of domesticity floating around instead of being freaked out. After all, it’s not like it’s news to her that she and Rachel already act like an old married couple.
“I did indeed,” Rachel replies. “However, I need to bake more.”
“Why?”
“I owe the Saunders’ brothers more for waxing McKinley for me,” Rachel answers.
“I still can’t believe that you got them to wax the entire school for cookies.”
“Well, four dozen cookies an hour is apparently quite convincing.”
“Still.”
“Well, they seem to enjoy sticking it to McKinley as well,” Rachel says. “Even if Figgins’ was only principal for Billy’s last year there, it may still feel like they’re fighting back against an unfair system.”
“Seriously?”
“Merely a guess,” Rachel shrugs. “Maybe they just enjoy causing chaos.”
“Hmph. Hey did you tell Chang that Coach Sylvester knows you’re the prankster?”
“Absolutely not,” Rachel replies.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s something I can’t explain. And I certainly don’t want to get into Coach owing me a favor. Can you imagine if more people knew?”
“It definitely sheds a new light on the situation.”
…
“What do you mean, he asked if he could take out just you?”
Friday morning, Missy and Wendy are in the far corner of the Cheerios’ locker room, after practice. Wendy knows she better tell Missy about Mike’s offer because if her best friend hears it from someone else, the accusations will start flying and then there’ll be yelling.
“He said he doesn’t want to date two girls at the same time,” Wendy explained.
“I thought that was every guy’s fantasy,” Missy retorts.
“Apparently it’s not his,” Wendy replies.
“I suppose you accepted.” It’s not a question.
Wendy nods.
“Hmmm. Well, this could still work in our advantage…”
“Mis, no,” Wendy protests. “The guy I’ve liked for a long time just asked me out. I don’t want there to be a plan or any scheming. I just want to go out and have a nice evening.”
Missy doesn’t answer right away and Wendy’s worried she’s about to suffer the girl’s wrath.
“Fine,” Missy says finally. “I’ll leave it. For now.”
…
When entire week without a prank passes, everyone seems a bit on edge. Even though there’s never been a set amount of time between pranks, the rapid succession that began with the start of the school year has taught everyone to stay cautious.
…
Figgins is in a relatively good mood when he walks to his car Friday afternoon. The week passed without any big, elaborate prank and though he knows there will most likely be something next week, for now he can relax. He has two days where he doesn’t have to think about this place.
He doesn’t notice the sound right away, but once he’s out of the parking lot, the odd helicopter noise is unmistakable. He sighs. It seems that someone broke the seal of the windshield again. Grumbling under his breath, he decides to see if Burt Hummel is still in his shop. Maybe he can get it fixed before Monday.
…
Mike knocks on Wendy's door at exactly seven. He hopes he didn't make a mistake asking Wendy out. He trusts that Brittany is correct about Wendy's crush, though, so he's pretty sure this will just be a normal date with no sinister overtones.
He hopes.
Surprisingly, Wendy opens the door. He expected a parent who would interrogate him. After all, he is a senior and Wendy is a sophomore. Though, speaking from experience, her being a Cheerio can be intimating on its own.
Feeling cheesy, he hands her a single rose. He lets out a sigh of relief when she smiles and shyly accepts it. He offers his hand and walks her to his car, where he opens the door for her.
When he slides into the driver's seat, he looks over at Wendy.
"You look lovely tonight," he says and reverses out of the driveway.
…
When Noah shows up on her doorstep Friday night, Rachel knows she's about to be talked into doing something insane.
"Insane? You wound me, bro."
"Noah," Rachel sighs. "Just tell me already."
"I want to learn how to shoot arrows."
"What is your obsession with sharp flying objects?" Rachel asks.
"C'mon, it'll be fun," Noah says. "And useful."
"How would it useful?"
"I don't know. Maybe you get stranded one day and have to learn to hunt with a bow and arrow."
"You know how I feel about eating animals, Noah."
"So if the choice was eating a rabbit or dying, you'd choose dying?" Noah asks.
"Well, no," Rachel replies. "First I'd try to find plants that I could eat instead. And where am I stranded that I need to be hunting anyway? And where did I get the bow and arrow? Did I bring it with me?"
"All right," Noah says. "Not the best example. I can admit that. But we're doing this."
"Fine," Rachel sighs. "But no drinking during."
"Agreed."
…
Mike takes her the Breadstix, partly because it is some sort of evil plot that involves making a scene, it'll be just as embarrassing for her. He feels bad for still not completely trusting Wendy, but he's heard some stories from Rachel. And he's pretty confident that she wasn't exaggerating.
And from what he can tell, Wendy is approaching the date with just as much caution. He wonders if it's because this first date is part of a more long term plan or if she's worried that his asking her out is part of some elaborate revenge plan from Santana. He doesn't know what went down between Rachel the two Cheerios, but whatever it was, was enough to cause Santana to growl every time either's girls' name is brought up.
Usually it's amusing. Tonight, it's a bit nerve racking.
However, as the evening progresses, it becomes easier to relax. The more time Mike spends with Wendy, the less sinister she seems. He remembers that Rachel called Missy the ringleader and Wendy's the follower. For some reason, this seems to help put him at ease. Plus, Rachel did say alone, Wendy's intentions are most likely pure.
Once they start talking about movies, the conversation picks up. They argue about their favorites and make recommendations to each other. Mike even comments at one point that he's going to force Wendy to watch his favorite movie since she's never seen any Monty Python.
They end up staying there talking until they're kicked out.
…
Despite the fact that Santana arrived at Rachel's bright and early and they've spent the day in bed, Santana is still annoyed when Rachel answers Mike's call.
"I want to know how his date went last night. "Don't you?"
"I guess."
"Hello Mike."
"Hey Rach," Mike replies. "I didn't interrupt anything did I?"
"I wouldn't have answered the phone if that was the case," Rachel tells him.
"Well that's reassuring," Santana mumbles.
Rachel elbows her.
"Oh. Cool. So you were right. Wendy's a sweetheart."
"Awww, good. So you had a good time?" Rachel asks.
"We stayed at Breadstix talking until we got kicked out," Mike tells her.
"I'm glad."
"You gonna ask her out again?" Santana asks, leaning over Rachel.
"Yep," Mike smirks. "We're going to a movie Sunday afternoon."
"Not today?"
"She already made plans with some other underclass Cheerios," Mike replies.
"Let's just hope Missy doesn't get involved in this," Rachel says.
"Mikey just has to be charming enough to make Wendy fall for him and it'll be fine," Santana says.
"Hey, I can be charming," Mike replies. "Just ask Britt."
"I know you can be, Mike," Rachel says. "Ignore Santana. She's just irritated that I answered my phone."
"She just jealous about how much you like me," Mike says.
"You wish, Chang," Santana snaps.
"No, you wish, Lopez."
"I'm glad you had a good time, Mike," Rachel interjects. "What movie are you seeing tomorrow?"
"They're doing a double feature of Singing in the Rain and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers."
"Nice," Santana says.
"Seven Brides is a ridiculous musical," Rachel says.
Mike shrugs. "I know the plot is insane, but you have to admit the dancing is amazing."
"That I can agree with."
"There's a musical you don't like?" Santana asks.
"We'll watch it one day and then you'll understand," Rachel replies. "Plus, it's not that I don't like it. I'm simply saying that the plot is absurd."
"Okay then. Well good luck, buddy," Santana says. "But Rach has to go."
"Um, apparently I do," Rachel says. "Good luck and I'll see you Monday."
"Bye Rach. Santana."
…
As Rachel breaks into McKinley again, very early Monday morning, she finds herself thinking about Mike's discovery that she's the prankster. His list of reasons seem so obvious when he lists them and yet no one else has figured it out. Well, Brittany figured it out and so did Coach Sylvester, but Rachel feels like those are special cases.
She wonders if that means she should be cutting back on pranks; maybe taking a break, like a month or so, instead of planning a week of theme pranks. Plus, just because her pranks are in honor of Fire Safety week, doesn't mean anyone else will get it.
Maybe a break would be a good idea, after this week. She's already put in too much time and planning to abandon this week's pranks.
Well, maybe not a whole month, since she has a Halloween prank planned as well.
Then again, Rachel thinks as she heads up to the roof, maybe a longer break would be a good idea, since her ideas are becoming insanely elaborate, which require a lot more work than stealing the school's supply of baseballs.
Maybe she'll discuss it with Santana later.
…
Monday morning when people begin shuffling into McKinley, they're hit with water balloons. No one can figure out where they're coming from, though they only seem to hit people when they walk through the front door.
As with most pranks, people don't warn their friends. A lot of people stay by the door and watch as people enter, laughing at their outrage at being hit.
…
The number of people that receive warning texts has increased. And so though, the majority of the school walks into the building soaked, there are a couple dozen that stroll in with umbrellas or raincoats that stay relatively dry.
…
It isn't until the middle of third period that the janitorial staff finds a massive collection of water balloons on the roof. The balloons fall through several funnel like objects that lets one balloon fall at a time onto anyone who enters the school.
Tony, the head janitor, marvels at the number of water balloons they find still on the roof. It's his understanding that several hundred balloons have already fallen and there seem to be twice as many still left.
…
As always, the speculation about the prankster is the main topic of conversation. Those who were victims of slushies on a regular basis watch amused as the rest of the school complains about being splashed with water.
"Is it wrong that I'm a little disappointed that Santana didn't fill the balloons with slushie instead of just water?" Kurt asks Mercedes.
"Maybe she was afraid of giving Rachel flashbacks of her past cruelty."
"That actually seems quite probable," Kurt agrees.
…
Figgins' secretary hands him a note after lunch saying that his windshield has been fixed and his car has been dropped off and left in his parking spot.
…
Tuesday morning is the monthly staff meeting and everyone wants to know why Figgins has been yet unable to find the prankster.
"Do any of you have any idea who it is?" Figgins asks.
There's no response.
"Exactly."
"We can't put up with another year of this," someone protests.
"What exactly are you all talking about?" Jack Pace asks.
"Ah, yes, our newest member," Figgins says. "Well, Jack, it seems this school has a prankster."
"An extremely devious, skilled and meticulous one," Emma adds. "He or she has been terrorizing this school for over a year now."
"But no one knows who it is?" he asks.
"It's none of the usual suspects," Figgins answers. "I had hoped that it was one of last year's seniors and that it wouldn't be a problem anymore, but apparently not."
"Um, all right."
"Ignore him, new guy," Sue says. "His ability to sniff out a suspect is akin to his ability to speak Portuguese."
"I don't speak Portuguese, Sue," Figgins retorts.
"My point exactly," Sue replies. "Why else would you put my Cheerios on probation without any proof? You're grasping at straws."
"No one seems to know anything," Emma tells Jack. "Or if they do, they're not talking."
Sue pulls her cell out of her pocket and reads a text.
"Well, how bad can these pranks be?" Jack asks.
Everyone begins talking at once, listing off the various things that have happened over the last year. While this happens, Sue quietly slips out of the room.
"All right, all right, all right," Figgins says, trying to restore order. "Let's not overwhelm the man. This is school isn't perfect, but what American high school is."
Emma's cell phone buzzes. She pulls it out and pales slightly. Looking around, she tries to remain calm. It doesn't work.
"I need to go," Emma says, standing up abruptly. "I'm, um, not feeling so well. Uh, Jack, would you mind accompanying me to the nurse's office?"
"Emma," Figgins says. "You know we don't have a nurse."
"Yes," Emma agrees. "But we do have nursing supplies."
"Of course I'll walk you there," Jack says standing.
"I could go with you, if you'd like, Em," Will speaks up.
"That's all right, Will," Emma says. "I figure I can give Jack a bit more background on the prankster as we walk."
"Oh. Okay."
Jack offers Emma his arm and the two stroll out of the room.
"So what are you going to do about the prankster?" Will asks Figgins.
"I'm willing to hear ideas," Figgins replies. "Anyone?"
Emma's abrupt exit gives Will pause. He looks around the room, trying to see what kind of prank could be set up. He then pulls out his cell phone, but there are no missed calls or texts. He wonders what he did to piss off the prankster. Will then wonders about Emma taking the new guy with her instead of him. His only conclusion is that Emma wanted to spare him since it's his first week.
At least he hopes that's the reason.
Will doesn't get to finish his thought because the room becomes chaos when water balloons seem to be flying everywhere. It doesn't take long for everyone in the room to be soaked. And yet the balloons keep flying. No one can figure out where they're coming from and they angrily and frantically leave the room.
…
Quinn is waiting for Rachel at her locker, Tuesday morning.
"Good morning, Quinn," Rachel greets.
"Hi Rachel."
"What brings you by my locker this fine Tuesday morning?"
"I wanted to say thank you again for helping me visit Alyson," Quinn says.
"Of course," Rachel replies. "You know I do love organizational projects like that. Besides, I'm glad you finally seem to be happy in a relationship."
"God, you're ridiculous," Quinn smiles.
"Such a sweet talker,"
"Yeah, well, simply saying thanks doesn't seem like enough," Quinn continues. "Especially considering what a bitch I was."
"I understand where it was coming from Quinn," Rachel replies. "But I appreciate the apology."
"I, uh, got you this to say thanks," Quinn says. "I would have given you it last week, but it took longer to get than I thought." She hands Rachel a white envelope.
Accepting it, Rachel opens it and pulls out two tickets.
"Two tickets to West Side Story?"
"Yeah," Quinn nods. "I figure you and San can go Saturday night."
"Quinn, you didn't drive to Columbus to get these, did you?"
Quinn looks embarrassed. "I might have."
"That is so sweet," Rachel gushes. "Alyson is a very lucky girl."
"I'm glad you like 'em."
"I do. Thank you Quinn."
"Thanks for being so understanding, Rachel."
…
Even odder than the water balloon by the prankster is the sight of Mike Chang and Wendy Kory walking through the halls holding hands. Everyone is so used to seeing Wendy and Missy stroll down the hall together, that there are a lot of double takes.
…
Everyone notices that Mr. Schue seems to be in a terrible mood during practice. They all assume it's because the prankster struck again. Though none of them would admit it, they're all kind of glad that the prankster seems to go after everyone. No one is safe, students, popular or unpopular, the teachers, the administration, even the Cheerios.
Meanwhile, Will knows he's being a bit ridiculous, but he just can't get the image of Emma walking out of the meeting this morning, arm in arm with Jack Pace.
…
Because the prankster struck the students on Monday morning and the teachers Tuesday morning, no one suspects another prank for a few days at least. Most people assume nothing will happen again until next week.
Lunch is almost over when it happens. Just as it happened Tuesday morning, water balloons begin flying and no one knows quite what to think. Nor can anyone tell exactly where the balloons are coming from. They seem to be dropping from the ceiling and being shot from the wall. The chaos is immediate as everyone is quickly soaked. There's a stamped towards the door that ends with people slipping and falling. This has a domino effect and soon almost everyone is on the ground, groaning and drenched.
…
While Santana enjoys a good prank as much as the next badass, she has to admit that such elaborate ones daily is exhausting to set up every damn night. She doesn’t know how Rachel does it; her girlfriend still seems her usual bouncy self. If it was anyone else, she'd suspect drugs. Knowing Rachel, she's just high on endorphins and achievement.
…
When the students begin trickling in Thursday morning, no one gives any thought to the random laundry carts scattered throughout the hallway. Most people just assume some idiot left them there after practice.
As Rachel walks through the hall, marveling at what people are willing to ignore, she decides that maybe her classmates deserve everything she's dishing out. Not because of the placidity towards the slushing or bullying of others, but because they don't seem to care about anything outside themselves. If they did, maybe Rachel would be having more difficulty hiding the fact that she's the prankster. Yes, they're all teenagers, but after three days of water balloons, any unknowns should be enough to cause suspicion.
She reaches the auditorium and quietly slides inside. She finds some of her fellow glee clubbers in the audience while Kurt, Mercedes, Brittany and Tina dance on stage. Rachel also spots Marisa and Wendy, sitting next to Mike. She wonders what Brittany and Mike told their girlfriends to justify hanging out in the auditorium this morning.
"Wanna make out, babe?"
Santana is sitting in the last row, watching the antics on stage. Rachel plops down next to her.
"Where's Quinn?"
"Talking to Coach," Santana replies. "They'll stay put until after, I'm sure."
Rachel's just about to ask where Noah and Artie are, when she notices the pair sitting just off stage, quietly playing guitars.
"They're gonna try a duet," Santana says.
"That should be amazing," Rachel replies.
"Depends what song they pick," Santana retorts.
"Enter Sandman by Metallica is my guess," Rachel says.
Santana just barely holds back a loud laugh. "Seriously?"
Rachel nods.
Santana can only shake her head at that. "You are so weird, babe."
"What do you think about Mike and Wendy?" Rachel asks.
"I don't know," Santana replies. "I trust B when she says she overheard that Wendy likes Mike, but I just don't know if Missy will let her have this or she'll try and use it to her advantage."
"I guess it depends on how important Wendy's happiness is to her," Rachel says.
"I suppose it does," Santana agrees. "You'd think that would make the answer obvious. But it doesn't."
"You're making me feel bad for Wendy."
"Well, if her and Mikey hit it off, then it won't be so bad."
Rachel's answer is cut off by the sound of absolute chaos coming from the hallway, causing Santana to smirk.
"I almost wish I was out there," she says. "Just so I could see it all."
"You'd be too wet and annoyed to properly see anything," Rachel tells her.
"You know if the Broadway thing doesn't work out, you'd totally make an awesome evil genius," Santana says.
"Would you be working with me?"
"Probably. I'd be the muscle."
"Like a body guard?"
"Well, I'd make sure that cute ass is always safe, if that's what you mean."
"Then I guess I have a backup plan," Rachel says.
…
Jack and Emma are having lunch in her office. It's probably the safest place in the school, especially since the prankster seems to like her, despite having given up on Will. She's surprised that Jack hasn't asked about the prankster. There's been a water balloon attack every day this week so far, including the one during the staff meeting that they just narrowly missed. And yet, Jack hasn't brought it up once.
Emma's pretty sure he's waiting for her to bring it up; she just can't figure out why.
Emma wishes she could forget about the prankster, because she's having a lovely time. Jack is smart, funny, speaks three languages, is well traveled and tells incredible stories. She's having such a great time that Emma almost forgets she's in her office and not on a date.
The word date shakes her out of her daydream and so Emma decides to bring the prankster up.
"So you're not going to ask?"
"Ask what?"
"About the prankster," Emma says. "You have to be curious."
"I admit to having a bit of an interest," Jack admits. "If simply for the fact that I'm a bit confused about the situation."
"Oh?"
"Yes. I find it hard to believe that one student has been pulling pranks on this school for over a year and hasn't been caught."
"Well, honestly? They probably have been caught," Emma replies.
"I'm really confused then," Jack says. "If the prankster was caught, why are the pranks continuing?"
"Because no one's been, uh, found guilty. There's absolutely no proof. Several people have been accused and I imagine one of them is in fact the prankster. But without absolute proof we can't punish anyone. Principal Figgins won't risk the lawsuit."
"No proof what so ever?"
"None we can use," Emma replies. "Any evidence we find ends up being a dead end. And before you say we should beef up security, Figgins would never pay for it."
"But paying his janitorial staff over time to deal with all these messes is okay?"
"Apparently."
…
Friday morning, a flat tire makes Principal Figgins late. After waiting for the tow truck, which gives him a ride to school, he arrives around the same time as students begin stumbling in.
As he approaches his office, a crowd is beginning to form around his office and a very bad feeling starts to build.
When the students notice who is trying to push through the crowd, they immediately part and let him through.
The parting of students allows Figgins to see his office for the first time. It is completely filled with water balloons, enough so that because the door swings inwards, it will take a lot of force to push the door in. The problem with that is the force of the door is sure to break the balloons. Figgins can only imagine the amount of water that is going to pour out of his office. Not to mention that everything inside will be ruined. The room is too full of balloons for there to be any way to empty it without popping some.
He sighs. He really hates the prankster.
…
The janitors decide to build something to guide the water out of the school. It takes half the day, but by lunch there's a canal like path from Figgins' office door to the closest exit and out the door.
The next hurdle is how to start the process. The only solution seems to pop enough balloons to get in, though the likely hood of most of the balloons popping seems high.
The thought of everything in Figgins' office being destroyed worries both Mitch and Bob. Tony is probably safe since he's head janitor and though Figgins is loathe to admit it, he does need at least one janitor. Tony maintains that the school needs more than one, and for now that's been true, but if Figgins has to replace everything in his office, there may be some budget concerns after.
They decide to just push the door open and start the popping of the balloons. It starts small; so much so that at first, the floor is just wet, but the more balloons that pop, the more they can push the door in, which in turn pops more balloons. Soon it's a torrent of water as balloons burst by the dozen, it seems.
It's a sight to behold and a crowd of students and faculty gather to watch.
…
"You're really a bitch," Santana tells Rachel as they walk to her car.
"I'm taking that as a compliment," Rachel replies. "Because I'm not in the mood to be mad at you."
"Hey, I'm not the one that terrorized our school all week with water balloons," Santana retorts.
"Terrorized? Please," Rachel scoffs. "Don't be so dramatic."
"Pot. Kettle."
"Besides, you're the one that helped the bitch terrorize this school all week with water balloons," Rachel reminds Santana.
"Yeah, but everyone already knows I'm a bitch," Santana replies.
"I'm fairly certain that the fact that the rest of the school considers me more of a drama queen than a bitch is really just splitting hairs."
"I suppose that's true," Santana chuckles.
"Besides," Rachel says. "You had fun. I know you did."
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, it was tedious as fuck, but I do enjoy pulling pranks with you."
"Well, I consider it worth all the effort."
"Yeah, but sometimes I worry that Figgins is going to stick you with a huge bill to cover the cost of clean up," Santana replies.
"Perhaps," Rachel says. "But this time we took out everything we could, so it wouldn't be ruined by water. So technically we didn't destroy any school equipment or paperwork."
"How long do you think it'll take them to find everything?"
"Longer than it should," Rachel replies. "The gym is the most obvious place."
"To you maybe."
…
It's been a long week. A prank every day is exhausting to deal with and Principal Figgins is more than ready for this week to be over. Wearily, he climbs in his car and pulls out of the parking lot.
Only to groan in frustration when the helicopter noise begins as he picks up speed. Between the balloons and going several days without it happening again, Figgins was sure that it was just a two time thing; he was obviously being naïve.
Growling with aggravation, he wonders what the hell he did to this prankster that he would go after him like this, in addition to the other pranks this week.
It then occurs to him that all those things he just listed require a lot of work. In fact, a lot of the pranks that have occurred most likely required a lot of work. Maybe the prankster is in fact several individuals. That would make sense.
Maybe he needs to reexamine this prankster situation.