fic: Ambitions Trilogy Part Two: I Can, Therefore I Am - Part Two
Title: Ambitions Trilogy Part Two: I Can, Therefore I Am - Part Two
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, OCs, Mike/OFC, Beth, Shelby, Puck, Brittany
Rating: R
Summary: 2021 to 2035 in Rachel and Santana's lives together.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Also, any real celebrities used are purely for entertainment. I know nothing about any of these people and am simply manipulating them for my own devices.
Word Count: ~9, 400 (this part)/ ~41,100 (total)
Spoilers: Previous parts of this series and season 1 of glee
A/N: Part two, finally. For helionwolfchild. Because even though she only posted one update of Talk Too Much instead of the promised two, it was still awesome. Plus, the initial motivation of the "deal" was enough to keep me on track with this fic. Title is a quote by Simone Weil.
2nd A/N: All real actors used were chosen because their age would match what it would be when this fic actually takes place. Also, once again, anything I didn't know (mostly anything related to lawyer-ing) was researched on the interweb, so I apologize if I've gotten things wrong.
3rd A/N:Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Part One
Part Two
Summer 2023
Santana has been in the Vehicular Crime Unit for almost two years when she called into her boss's office.
"Have a seat, Lopez," Eric Yarr tells her.
"Thank you, sir."
"How long have you been with the VCU?" Yarr asks her.
"Two years this September."
"Hmmm," Yarr nods, apparently deep in thought. "Normally that'd be something to be proud of. However, in your case, I don't think that's going to be true."
Santana feels like a bucket of cold water has been dropped on her. "Sir?"
"It has been decided that your place is no longer with the VCU," Yarr says. "Instead you're now to be in charge of the Crime Strategies Unit starting Monday."
Santana fights letting a full blown smile appear on her face. "Thank you sir."
"You've earned it Lopez. Keep this up and you'll be with Major Crimes before you're forty."
"I won't let you down, sir."
"Don't get dramatic, Lopez," Yarrs replies. "But congratulations. Now get out of my office."
Santana stands. "Yes sir. Thank you sir." And she quickly escapes Yarr's office.
…
Santana figures leaving early today is allowed. Rachel usually leaves for the theater before Santana has even left the office, so it's with jubilance that she unlocks the door to their apartment at three.
"Babe, I'm home," she calls out.
A moment later, Rachel appears in the kitchen where Santana is putting the champagne she bought in the fridge.
"San, why are you home so early? Are you sick?"
Santana just grabs Rachel and kisses her, letting her excitement turn into passion. Rachel immediately responds, pressing Santana against the refrigerator door. When the pressure of the door handle against her spine gets to be too much, Santana pulls away. Rachel looks at her questioningly.
"Sorry," Santana says, stepping away from the fridge. "But you are looking at the lead ADA for the Crime Strategies Unit."
"Already?" Rachel asks. "It's only been like two years."
"Less than, actually," Santana replies. "But Yarr says if I keep this up, I could be in charge of Major Crimes by the time I'm forty."
"And DA by fifty, I'm sure."
"You know, it, babe."
"We have to celebrate."
"It's why I'm home early."
"I wish I didn't have a show tonight. I'm going to have Melanie do it tonight."
"What?" Santana asks. "No way, Rach. That's why I came home early, so you wouldn't have to."
"Well then you're delusional if you think we're only going to celebrate for a couple hours."
"Hey, I didn't come home early just for sex," Santana protests.
"Which is why I'm not performing tonight," Rachel replies. "Let me go call Terry and let him know. And then we can celebrate anyway you want."
Santana smirks, watching Rachel skip off to find her cell, feeling very loved. The only thing Rachel seems to value more than her Broadway career is Santana's and it makes Santana's heart swell every time Rachel shows it.
…
"Congrats, Lopez," Jen tells Santana when the meet for coffee. "It's about time."
"Yes if only all of us could become our boss's favorite overnight," Santana snarks back.
"Who knew he'd be a fan of The Fountainhead?" Jen asks. "I wish I could say it was planned."
"Yeah, well, Ayn Rand is insane, was insane, whatever."
"Maybe," Jen shrugs. "But she wrote some interesting books."
"How's T?" Santana asks.
"Still good. Busy. Luckily, Trent's been able to find a lot of freelance lately."
"Time of year," Santana says. "People are probably trying to come up with good advertising for their holiday bullshit."
"Probably. We'll take it."
"You ever gonna marry your fella?"
"Don't plan on it," Jen replies.
"Who's stringing who along?"
"Just because your love life is some sort of fairy tale, doesn't mean that everyone has to get married."
"Sorry. Didn't mean to touch a nerve."
"It's just I hear that question a lot," Jen explains. "From everyone."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"If you don't want to get married, then don't," Santana says. "I just figured that's the inevitable conclusion for peoples such as you and T."
"Peoples such as me and Trent?"
"Breeders," Santana smirks.
"You're lucky this coffee cup is empty, Lopez."
Autumn 2023
Rachel's in the shower when she hears her cell ring. Knowing it could be important, she hurries to finish. However, she's surprised when it rings again a minute or two later. When it rings five more times before she's finally out of the shower and dried off, Rachel begins to suspect it's Santana calling.
Finding her phone, proves her wrong. It's actually Mike calling.
"What?!"
"Rach!" he exclaims. "I need tickets to your show tonight."
"That's why you've called over five times in the last ten minutes?"
"I met this girl last night, Rach," Mike says. "She's perfect. And she's a Broadway fan, so when I mentioned I might be able to get tickets of your show, she agreed to go out with me tonight."
"That's a bit of short notice, Mike," Rachel replies.
"It's a Tuesday, Rachel," Mike tells her. "If it was Friday, I'd understand."
"Fine," Rachel huffs. "I'll do what I can. But I want to meet this girl. It's only fair."
"Absolutely."
"Perhaps the four of us could do brunch on Saturday?"
"Don't you need to check with Lopez?"
"Probably," Rachel agrees. "But if nothing else, the three of us could meet."
"All right. So you'll let me know?"
"Yes, Mike, I'll let you know," Rachel tells him. "Good bye."
"Thanks Berry," Mike teases and hangs up.
…
Rachel does manage to get excellent seats reserved for Mike. She sends him a text that they're at the box office under his name.
In reply, he thanks her and says he'll ask Zoe about meeting Rachel and Santana for brunch on Saturday.
…
Santana grumbles about plans being made without getting her input, though Rachel knows Santana is just as curious about this girl as she is.
"Besides, you like brunch," Rachel points out.
"I already said I'd go babe," Santana says.
They try to be early, but Santana insists on being distracting all morning and so Rachel has no choice, but to push her up against the bathroom door and fuck her until she comes.
They leave the apartment fifteen minutes later than Rachel had planned and so they're right on time.
Mike and Zoe are already there and so Mike waves them over once he sees them.
"I apologize for our tardiness," Rachel says, hugging Rachel.
"I'm not sorry," Santana adds, smacking Mike on the back.
Rachel turns to the woman standing next to Mike and is delighted to see they're the same height. "I'm Rachel."
"Zoe."
"It's a pleasure to meet you."
"It's an honor to meet you," Zoe replies. "You are amazing as Laurey."
"Thank you," Rachel says, trying not to preen. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
The waitress suddenly appears and takes their order. She quickly disappears and Rachel being Rachel begins to interrogate Zoe, making sure she's good enough for Mike. After a few questions, Rachel seems content and the conversation turns to work.
Mike owns his own dance studio where he and a few others teach various ages. He also choreographies for various people around the city: dance troupes, Broadway, off Broadway, and some television. He talks about the commercial he's been working on for the past week.
Zoe, it turns out, teaches music at a private high school. It's how they met. Mike was brought in to talk about dance and music and took a shine to Zoe.
The meal passes pleasantly and all too soon the waitress is bringing them their bill.
When Mike and Santana get up to pay the checks, Rachel scoots closer to Zoe.
"It's been wonderful meeting you," Rachel says. "But I would like to make something abundantly clear."
"Oh?"
"Mike is my best friend and one of the best guys I know," Rachel tells Zoe, eyes growing dark. "So if you hurt him, I will hurt you. And that's not just an idle threat. You can ask Mike, my wife ruled our high school with a vengeful fist and it wouldn't be too difficult for us to make your life miserable."
Zoe can only stare at Rachel.
"But of course that's only if you hurt him," Rachel says, a smile returning to her face. "If not, well then you have nothing to worry about."
"I know I've come off as a… over enthusiastic fan, Rachel," Zoe replies. "But I promise, Mike seems like a good guy I want to get to know."
"Good. I hope you understand why I had to do that."
"I do."
"We all good here," Mike asks, sitting down next to Zoe.
"Oh yes," Rachel says.
"Rachel and I were just talking about you," Zoe adds.
"Um, all right."
"Get used to it, Chang," Santana says as she sits back down next to Rachel. "You know how Rach is."
Rachel smacks Santana on the arm. "Hey."
Santana smirks back.
Winter 2023
This is the first year that Santana is required to attend an office Holiday party. She knows it's good for her career, but she's definitely not looking forward to it. At least, both she and Rachel have become well versed in schmoosing. They've done it plenty for Rachel's career, so Santana figures they might as well dive in and do it for hers.
…
"Am I a Broadway diva or your dedicated wife?" Rachel asks as she applies make up.
"Can't you be both?" Santana asks through Rachel's cell.
Santana is at the office, working because, of course the party is right after work. Rachel is getting ready at home and meeting Santana there. The echo of the bathroom sounds odd to Santana through the phone. She wonders if she's speaking loud enough for the speakerphone.
"I just meant, is there a certain way you'd like me to behave? I don't want to mess anything up for you."
"Love you too." Santana's smile can be heard through the phone. "I'll tell you the same thing you told me. The best way you can help me is to be your usual witty and charming self; modest, but not afraid to speak of your accomplishments. A strong partner equals a strong individual. I want them to see I have a stunning, brilliant, captivating wife. I think if we continue to paint ourselves as a power couple, people will start to see us that way."
"True enough," Rachel agrees. "Projecting the right image is essential."
"You'll be fine, babe," Santana says. "I'm not worried. I gotta go. I have to finish this before you get here. Later."
"See you soon."
…
They glide in together, making an entrance despite their quiet arrival. Rachel isn't self centered enough to think it's solely because of her and is pleasantly surprised when several people come up to her as fans. She's unassuming and enchanting, quickly producing chuckles and eager conversation.
Leaving Rachel to what she does best, Santana slips away to find herself and Rachel a drink. Finding two glasses of wine, she slowly makes her way back towards her wife.
"Lopez."
"Deerfield."
"I see you brought the little lady," Rob comments.
"You're attention to detail is spectacular."
"It's not going to work," Rob tells her.
"What isn't?"
"Your plan."
"My what?"
"Your plan," Rob repeats.
"Whatever you say, Deerfield. I'm going to go give the wife her drink." Weaving through the room, Santana is mildly impressed that Rob realized what she is doing, though admittedly, not subtly. Rachel will charm the higher ups and then talk her up. Rachel can be sly when she wants to. It may not have an immediate effect, but Santana is optimistic that when coupled with her own impressive track record are the first step in achieving her ambitions.
It helps that Rachel is wicked talented and fucking hot, especially in an off the shoulder, red dress that hugs are her curves perfectly. It's taking every ounce of will power Santana has to not drag her into the bathroom for a quickie.
The only thing stopping her, is the fear of getting caught.
Instead, she slips behind Rachel, wrapping an arm around her waist and offering Rachel the wine glass.
Smiling, Rachel accepts the glass and whispers, "Thanks baby." And then goes back to an intense debate with several ADAs about the role of the arts in education.
…
The minute the door of their apartment is shut and locked, Santana grabs Rachel and pushes her against it. Kissing her thoroughly, Santana lets her hands trace the path her lips plan to take very soon.
"God, you are the most amazing fucking wife a girl could hope for," Santana whispers in Rachel's ear before nibbling down her neck.
When Santana finally lets Rachel go long enough to breath, Rachel pushes her away for a moment.
"I'm taking this dress off first. I really like this one and you're not ruining it like you did my blue one from New Year's last year."
"Whatever. It's completely your fault for being so fucking hot. Not to mention, how fucking amazing you were tonight. Everyone in that fucking office loves you. Could you be more perfect?"
"I realize you've been drinking, but must you curse so much?" Rachel asks.
"Fuck yeah." Santana lets her eyes roam her wife's now naked form. "I mean, what I'm seeing right now? Completely fucking cuss worthy."
"Flatterer."
Winter 2024
When Noah calls her about a duet, Rachel is pleasantly surprised. While her successes are growing, she didn't think they were in line with Noah's work.
"What?" Noah says. "We're bros, still, right? And I know you've got a fucking awesome voice."
Rachel does have issues with how much more cursing Noah engages in. He tells her it's a rock star thing.
"Besides, I showed the guys your picture and since you're so fucking hot, they're okay with it."
"What picture did you show them?" Rachel asks suspiciously.
There's a pause as Rachel hears Noah clear his throat. "I may have taken a picture of a certain photo while I was in town last time."
"Noah, you didn't."
"I had to, Rach," Noah answers. "I already had some lyrics in my head and I knew the guys would never agree unless they saw how fucking sexy you were. It's a rock thing. So I snapped a picture of it with my phone."
"That was private," Rachel growls. "A birthday gift for San. I knew I should have never got your opinion about it."
"Hey, at least you're not naked."
"Lingerie is close enough!"
"Does that mean you don't want to do it?"
"What's the song?"
…
Noah's band is called Guys in Vans Who Want Burritos. Rachel thinks it's a ridiculous name, but Noah assures her it's part of their appeal. The group has been together for almost ten years and have a small record deal. The song, Left Behind will be the third song on their second album and is a duet between her and Noah.
Reading over the lyrics Noah emails her, Rachel can admit it's a good song. Noah played her a bit of the music over the phone and so she can almost hear it in her head as she reads over the words.
The band will be in town next month and they'll record it then. She offered to fly to them, but Noah assures her they have other additional reasons for visiting New York.
…
Noah suggests they all meet over breakfast because if it ever gets awkward, they can all stare at their plates. The band's first full day in the city is a Sunday, so she drags Santana along for moral support.
Noah greets her with a hug that lifts her off the ground. She smacks him when he sets her down. He and Santana embrace too, though it ends with Santana punching Noah in the shoulder.
"Guys, this is Rachel and her wife, Santana. Ladies this is Drew, he plays bass and Crash here is the drummer."
They all shake hands before sitting down.
"Crash?" Rachel asks. "Is that because you play the drums?"
"Actually it's from when I was a kid," he replies. "I was a bit of a daredevil on my bike, so I ended up crashing quite a bit."
"Now he just drums like a daredevil," Drew adds.
"I just let the music inspire me," Crash says.
"Show off is more like it," Drew throws out.
"Ignore them," Noah says. "They fight like an old married couple."
"Shut up, Puckerman," Drew says. "You're just jealous of our love."
Santana chuckles. "He's got your number, Puck."
"No one asked you, Lopez."
"If you didn't want the truth, then you should have told Rach to leave me at home."
"As if she'd listen to me."
Santana smirks. "So what's the plan?"
"We figure we'd rehearse a bit today before Rach's show tonight. And then record tomorrow since she'll have the day off," Noah explains.
"We've got a studio booked all day tomorrow starting at 9am," Drew adds.
"I doubt we'll need it," Noah says. "Rach here's a professional." He elbows Santana. "Too bad you gotta work, Lopez. You, me and Berry, it'll be like the good old days."
"Please don't bring up high school, Noah--"
"Noah! Bwahahaha!" Crash bursts out laughing.
"Though, I admit it'd be fun to sing with you again, tiger," Rachel continues.
Noah tries to reach across the table and smack Crash, but the blonde ducks out of the way.
"I'll see if I can get done early, all right, babe?"
Smiling in delight, Rachel can't help but lean in for a kiss.
"Awww," Drew says.
Noah elbows him. "Dude."
"What? They're in love. It's cute."
"Thank you, Drew," Rachel says.
…
Monday morning Rachel is at the studio bright and early, warmed up and ready to go. Knowing how Rachel is in this mode, Puck gulps down his coffee and quickly gets everything set up.
They get through the song five times and thankfully they all agree that the fourth time was the best.
"How about we have a little fun?" Puck suggests.
"That sounds quite suspicious, Noah," Rachel replies.
"Just go with the flow, Rach." Puck quickly confers with Crash and Drew before motioning to the booth that he wants to record this.
He sees Rachel smile when she recognizes the opening chords for Don’t Stop Believing. Thankfully, Rachel seems to remember the song. She sings it with an airiness he's surprised by, but enjoys.
Rachel's grin widens when the music transitions to Seasons of Love. She easily slides into it for which Puck is grateful, because while it was the one musical he didn't mind watching with Rachel.
It's as they're finishing the song that Puck looks over and sees Santana in the booth. He nods and Santana smirks back, shaking her head.
"That was fun," Rachel says once they're done.
"Pretty awesome, actually," Crash says, setting his sticks down.
"You still want to sing something?" Puck asks Santana as she walks in.
Rachel saunters over to Santana as she replies, "Yes." They embrace and still intertwined, Rachel turns to face the band.
"Have anything in mind?"
…
They end up playing, You Can't Always Get What You Want and it goes pretty well. Puck wants to do more, but Santana figures she's been gone long enough. She went in early to make sure she'd get everything done she needed to before she left for lunch.
Santana glares at Puck until he, Drew and Crash turn their backs before saying good bye to Rachel. It's not that they're doing anything more than a simple good bye kiss, but it's been a long time since she's sung with Rachel and she'd forgotten how much fun it was. Santana wants to live in that bubble for a few more moments before she has to return to the grind of work.
"You gonna see Rach's show with us tomorrow night?" Puck asks.
"Of course," Santana replies. "I have to make sure you behave yourself, don't I?"
"Damn straight," Crash says. "Can't take Puckerman anywhere."
This earns him Puck's empty coffee cup flying at him.
…
Despite hearing Rachel sing and being impressed, both Crash and Drew seem to be in awe as they watch Rachel in Oklahoma! When Rachel does her curtain call, they both stand and whistle. Santana sees a slight blush on her wife's face at this response.
"Jeez, you'd think you guys have never seen a damn musical," Puck says after.
"Let us be impressed, Puckerman," Drew says. "We think your girl is awesome."
"You're not wrong," Santana says.
"You're just jealous," Crash adds. "You know we like her better than you."
Santana starts laughing. "You guys are all right."
"Shut up Lopez," Puck grouses.
"You're just mad that they've got your number, Puckerman," Santana retorts.
When Rachel eventually joins them, she's greeted by a bear hug that lifts her off her feet, first from Crash and then Drew. Puck gives her a solid full body hug and Santana thinks it's the most tender she's ever seen Puckerman. She watches him whisper in her ear and the ensuing blush that it earns.
Her wife finally makes her way over to Santana and greets her with a kiss.
"Amazing as always, babe," Santana tells her.
"Thanks, tiger," Rachel replies. She turns to the rest of them. "Drinks?"
Spring 2024
In March, Rachel begins looking for another show to do. Her last performance as Laurey is bittersweet since it's her first Broadway show, but Rachel knows it's time to move on.
Her agent, Gretchen Tam begins finding her auditions and it isn't too long before Rachel is cast in something new.
…
Rachel is surprised when she's cast as Marian Paroo in The Music Man. She went on the audition because Gretchen set it up, but had never really considered the role.
Which isn't to say, she doesn't like the musical, because she does; it's a classic and she always enjoyed the movie version.
It turns out to be a fun experience with a great cast. Before Rachel knows it, they're previewing to excited audiences who seem to love it.
Summer 2024
Left Behind by Guys in Vans Who Want Burritos, featuring Rachel Berry is released in June. It starts out at #77 on the charts, but grows in popularity until it's at #19.
…
It's late August when Rachel gets an odd call from Shelby. She agrees to come over for lunch.
When Rachel arrives, she's a bit surprised by Shelby's appearance. She looks run down and older than her years. It's then that Rachel realizes that though she's seen Beth and Abby quite a few times this summer, she's only seen Shelby once.
They sit down to soup and sandwiches for which Shelby apologizes for.
"It's fine," Rachel assures her. "Really."
They eat in silence for a few moments before Rachel can't stand the wait anymore.
"I'm sorry, Shelby," Rachel says, setting down her spoon. "But my curiosity is quite piqued. What exactly did you want to talk about?"
"I just wanted to say thanks," Shelby explains. "For these past two years and giving me the opportunity to get to know you."
"Shelby…"
"I mean it, Rachel," Shelby continues. "I know our history is… messy. I feel like I did you a great disservice all those years ago and I am so thankful that you finally gave me another chance."
Rachel sighs. "It's been nice getting to know you too."
"And I'll admit it's nice to see you getting along so well with Beth and Abby."
"They're great girls, Shelby. You've, uh, done a good job."
"Thank you for saying that."
"But you didn't ask me over to talk history," Rachel says.
"You're right. I didn't." Shelby takes a deep breath. "I have cancer," Shelby states. "A cardiac sarcoma of the heart, to be specific."
"What?"
"I was diagnosed a couple years ago," Shelby explains. "It's the main reason I started seeking you out again. I didn't want to die without at least getting to know you a bit."
"I…"
"I realize this is a lot to spring on you," Shelby continues. "And I wasn't sure if I would ever tell you. But I admit, I'm a bit selfish. I wanted to make sure I told you everything I need to tell you and I knew you wouldn't accept it unless you knew the reasons behind it."
"Ahhh…"
"I went to the doctor this morning and he said I probably only have a month, maybe two left."
"Oh."
"I was hoping the girls could stay with you and Santana until this is all over," Shelby says. "I don't think it's the best environment for them at the moment."
"Of course," Rachel finally manages. "I certainly agree with that sentiment."
"Thank you, Rachel."
"Shelby," Rachel says. "I'm not going to lie to you. I still can't quite think of you as anything other than my birth mother, but I am glad we had this time together."
"Really?"
"Truly."
…
So Beth and Abby come to stay with them. Rachel is thankful they have enough room, though the girls do have to share a room. Neither complain. They go to school, then stop by to see Shelby and are home in time to have dinner with Santana. If Santana has to work late, they fend for themselves, usually making something simple like grilled cheese.
Rachel offers to take some time off from her show, but Beth won't hear of it, saying they're just fine. Having some place to stay is enough; they don’t want to interfere with Rachel's career as well.
They argued it for about twenty minutes until Santana stepped in and agreed with Beth, adding that they reevaluate the system every other week and readjust if necessary.
Everyone seemed pleased with this solution and peace returns for the time being.
Things run smoother than Rachel expected, but perhaps the girls are on their best behavior because of the situation. Though Santana sometimes lets it slip that a crying Abby sought her out for a hug. Beth is more stoic and so Rachel isn't quite sure how she's dealing. But the second Monday after moving in, Beth joins Rachel on the couch and asks Rachel some tough questions.
"You don't think of me as your sister, do you?"
"What? Why would you ask that?"
Beth shrugs. "I don't know. I just wonder sometimes."
Rachel sighs. "What do you want me to say, Beth? I mean, I'm fifteen years older than you. You were raised by Shelby and me, by my dads. We're not related by blood, not that, that matters to me. I think of you as my little sister and yet, I don't look at you as my little sister. Does that make sense?"
"Sort of," Beth admits. "I mean, I call you big sis, but at the same time, I know how completely odd the whole situation is."
"Indeed."
"I'm pretty sure mom sought you out because she wanted us to have a relationship once she's gone. I know it was partly because she also wanted to right what she thought was a past wrong, but the way she talks about you, and Santana… I want us to be sisters in every sense of the word, because I think that's what she wants."
"I don't quite know what to do with that information," Rachel admits.
"It's just… my mom's dying. And you're my sister and Abby's pretty much my sister too. And we've talked about it. But for some reason, I want to talk to you about it too. I'm just really scared."
Rachel pulls Beth in for a hug. "I know, sweetie. I don't know what's going to happen, but we'll figure it out, together. Okay?"
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Autumn 2024
Shelby dies on a Thursday, six weeks later. Rachel gets a call from a hospice nurse and feels numb once given the news. Though Rachel has never really considered Shelby her mother after the incident sophomore year, the only words in Rachel's mind are, "My mother is dead."
Rachel's not sure how she's able to perform that night, but she does. It feels hollow somehow and so she tells her stage manager, Martin that she needs the next four days off and that she'll be back for Wednesday's matinee.
When Martin finds out the reason, he tells her to take more time than that. After a bit pushing, she agrees to take Wednesday off as well.
…
Rachel starts to believe the reason she decided to perform Thursday night was to avoid everything for a little longer. Despite knowing it was coming, Shelby's death hits them all hard. And Rachel knows she has to be strong for Beth and Abby.
Santana is worried about Abby. The girl has already lost both her parents and now her aunt. Santana doesn't know if she'd be able to handle that at the age of twelve.
Thursday night when Rachel arrives home, she finds both girls still awake on the couch with Santana watching The Discovery Channel. She silently joins her and somehow the four of them end up cuddled together. They fall asleep, jumbled together, huddled under several blankets.
…
Rachel feels numb. It's purposeful. Pushing aside her own feelings on Shelby's passing, makes it easier to be there for Beth and Abby.
Beth is openly crying, while Abby appears to attempting stoicism. Rachel wonders why. Glancing to her left, Rachel can see Abby is squeezing Santana's hand rather tightly.
Sitting in the first pew of the church, Rachel listens to the minister drone on about death and heaven and being at peace. Never overly religious, she's having a difficult time being so accepting of it all; more so because of Beth and Abby. She wonders if Santana has a better grasp on it all. They haven't really talked about it, Rachel hasn't felt ready to.
She feels like she should be doing more. Logically, she knows being there for Beth and Abby is all she can do. But honestly, looking at the tears streaming down Beth's face, Rachel has never felt more inadequate.
And then Beth grabs Rachel's hand, squeezing it tightly and gives a watery smile. Rachel smiles back sadly.
…
“I’m sorry, but could you read that part again?” Rachel asks.
Despite the improvement of her relationship with Shelby over the past couple years, Rachel still surprised when Gary Dyal, Shelby's lawyer informs them they should stop by his office. She can't imagine Shelby bequeathing her anything. Instead, she gets the shock of her life.
“I leave custody of Beth Corcoran and Abby Corcoran to Rachel Berry Lopez and her partner, Santana Lopez,” the lawyer rereads.
“I…” Rachel gasps.
“There’s a letter for you,” Dyal offers, holding up an envelope. “Hopefully this will help with the confusion.”
Rachel’s hands are shaking so bad, she can’t open the envelope. Finally, Santana takes it from her and rips it open. She unfolds it and hands it back.
My Dearest Rachel,
I’m sure you are suffering from a great deal of shock right now. For that, I apologize. I know I should have brought this up with you beforehand, but I was afraid of your reaction. I also realize that you’re close with Noah Puckerman, making this whole situation a bit awkward. I owe you an apology for that as well.
It’s just that I don’t have anyone else to trust them with. I know I could leave Beth with either of her now adult birth parents, but then what about Abby? I fear what separating them might do.
But I also think you and Santana are in the best position to raise them. Puckerman is on the road constantly and Quinn is a workaholic trying desperately to make partner. Yes, I did my research.
The girls already know you both and genuinely like you. Plus, they won't have to change schools or move to a new city. Hopefully this will make dealing with everything else a little bit easier.
You probably want to curse me and spit on my grave. Well, maybe just Santana. And I don’t blame you or her for that. But I also know you’ll do the right thing and give these girls a proper home.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be the mom you needed when you needed, but I hope maybe Beth and Abby can become your family as well. And perhaps one day your memories of me can be fond ones and not too painful.
Thank you so much for giving me another chance. I know I didn’t deserve it, but I relished every moment.
I love you,
Shelby
Rachel looks up, eyes watery, but unwilling to cry. Santana lays a hand on Rachel’s knee.
“All right,” Rachel says after dabbing her eyes. “You may continue.”
Dyal nods.
…
Once he's done giving them all the necessary information, Dyal leaves them alone to talk. The shock still floating through room thick and heavy.
“At least she left us some money to cover the extra mouths to feed,” Santana quips.
“San, honey, now isn’t really the time,” Rachel tells her.
“Sorry babe.”
“I know this is tough, for you.”
“I’m sorry too,” Rachel says. “This is just so much. Too much.”
“Agreed,” Santana says. “If we’d known about the custody, at least that she was considering it…”
“That’s Shelby for you,” Rachel snarks.
"Still," Santana continues. "I can't believe she would tell you that she's dying, but not mention the whole custody thing."
Rachel doesn't reply immediately. "Maybe it was implied."
"What?"
"I mean, think about it. Though it didn't immediately occur to me, I knew that there's really no one else who could take them."
"Rach--"
"Both of her parents are dead, she didn't have any other siblings besides Zack and while Quinn or Noah could take Beth, where does that leave Abby?"
"I suppose if you really think about it, sure," Santana agrees. "But considering you were being told by your until recently estranged birth mother, it's understandable why it wouldn't occur to you."
“Oh my god!” Rachel exclaims. “We have to raise Quinn and Noah’s daughter.”
Rachel starts to gasp for air.
“Panic attack,” Santana says. “Try to stay calm and breathe.”
“I… I can’t.”
“Rach, babe, stop and try to relax. Breathe. That’s the only thing that will help.”
Rachel nods as she tries to follow Santana's instructions.
"Just listen to the sound of my voice," Santana continues. "Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out."
Rachel finally lets herself listen to her wife's voice and tries to follow her instructions.
"You worry too much. Beth's fifteen years old, babe," Santana points out. "We're not so much raising her as we are…"
Knowing Santana doesn't know how to finish the sentence, Rachel just nods. "I suppose you're right."
"Besides, she hasn't been theirs for a very long time. Don't you agree?"
"Yes. But are they going to see it that way?"
"I don't really talk to Fabray anymore."
"And Noah?"
"Right, well, we'll figure that out another day."
"San…"
"Do we or do we not have bigger more immediate concerns than of how to inform one Noah Puckerman?"
"Considering they're already staying with us," Rachel says. "I probably should have seen this coming."
"Let's go home, so we can talk to them about it."
Rachel stands, but doesn't move immediately. She looks a little lost.
"Babe?"
"My mom's dead, San."
"I know, baby," Santana says, pulling Rachel into a hug. "I'm sorry."
…
The conversation between Rachel, Santana, Beth and Abby goes better than Santana expected. She's not sure she could have been so clear headed after losing her mother as a teenager. Hell, Abby isn't even thirteen yet.
Though, Santana does wish Dyal had called them sooner. If she or Rachel had known that both girls were afraid of being separated and sent away, they would have demanded answers much sooner. Wanting to give the girls time to grieve, they hadn't adequately addressed the issue.
Looking at Rachel, Santana can see she regrets leaving the girls be as well. But it's too late to change it, so they try to be as open as they can be about how things are going to be from now on.
…
"How's Santana handling it?" Mike asks.
"Better than I am, I think," Rachel replies.
"You haven't talked about it?"
Rachel sighs. "I haven't felt… ready to, I suppose."
"I figured," Mike tells her. "You've been far less verbose than usual."
Rachel doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at that statement, so she ends up shrugging. "It's all too much. I feel like I'm drowning."
"Do you wish Shelby had stayed away?"
"No," Rachel shakes her head. "Definitely not. If only because I wouldn't have been able to handle the guilt I would have felt when I heard of her death."
"You're so sure you'd find out?" Mike questions.
Rachel nods. "I'm sure."
"I can't' believe she didn't tell you before hand," Mike says.
"I think she was afraid to," Rachel replies. "It's very difficult to say no to a dead woman."
"Still," Mike says. "Your family situation is mind boggling."
"Thank god for the normalcy of San's family," Rachel replies.
"Have you talked to your dads?" Mike asks.
"No," Rachel sighs. "I'll probably call my dad once things have settled slightly, just so they know. I'm not sure how much they'll care."
"I'm sure they care ," Mike assures her.
"Yes, but do they care enough?" Rachel asks.
"Probably not."
"What about Puck?"
"Oh god," Rachel replies. "I can't even think about that conversation yet."
"It's your fault for talking to him still. You should be like Lopez. She barely talks to Quinn anymore."
"Try never, actually," Rachel corrects. "If I'd known… But that song was so much fun and his band mates are great guys."
"I can't believe Beth doesn't know," Mike comments.
"Speaking from experience," Rachel says. "I think not knowing is better. Reality can sometimes be a disappointment."
"Yeah, but she should be given a choice, don't you think?"
"Yes. I do. Which is why once she's eighteen, we'll tell her whatever she wants," Rachel replies.
"Oh. Well that's good then."
…
The girls are mostly withdrawn. It's decided that some grief counseling might be useful, especially since neither Rachel or Santana feel qualified to help properly. Besides, Rachel doesn't even know how she feels about everything. She's really struggling.
Rachel and Santana simply try to be there for Beth and Abby the best they can. Both girls end up talking to Santana about it more. Santana assumes they're not comfortable talking to their "sister" about it. They end up cuddling with Rachel if they can't sleep, especially Abby. However, when Rachel asks how either is feeling, Beth replies, "Well enough." while Abby says, "I don't want to talk about it."
After a month of feeling out of sorts, Rachel seeks therapy as well. She can admit, that if she wasn't Beth and Abby's guardian, she probably wouldn't have sought help. But Rachel knows for the girls to be able to deal and move on, she has to as well.
…
"I can't believe she left them to you two," Jen says over lunch.
"You're make them sound like furniture or something," Santana replies.
"But she did, didn't she?"
"Basically."
"Shit," Jen says.
Santana nods.
"How's Rachel?"
Santana shrugs. "Struggling. She's sad about Shelby, but at the same time, there was so much emotional turmoil in their relationship, I don't think she knows how to feel. She's avoiding it; focusing on the girls."
"And you?" Jen asks. "I mean essentially, you're a mom."
"Whoa," Santana replies. "We are not their mothers. We are their guardians. Or I'm their sister-in-law. But we are not parental figures. Adult, authority figures, but that's it."
"Chill, Lopez," Jen says. "I was just kidding."
"It's just ridiculously complicated," Santana replies. "And considering I was there when Beth was born…"
"Which they still don't know," Jen says.
Santana nods. "I know. But Shelby was clear about that and I don't disagree. Though Rachel and I haven't decided how we're going to deal with telling Puckerman."
"Why do you have to?" Jen asks. "He rarely visits."
"Normally I'd agree, but the song he sang with Rachel did pretty well, and I wouldn't put it past him to suggest it again when it's time for another album."
"Well, maybe wait until then," Jen suggests. "Give the girls time to grieve and all of you time to adjust."
"Yeah. You're probably right."
…
When Santana explains the situation to her parents, Clara insists on flying out for Thanksgiving.
"Really, mom," Santana says. "It's not necessary."
"Necessary? Of course it is, dear," Clara replies. "You can't subject those poor girls to you and Rachel's insane Thanksgiving tradition."
"It's not insane, mom," Santana argues. "It's… well, we like it."
"Holing up in your apartment and making love all day is no longer an acceptable way to spend the day."
"Mom. I know that."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Well, Rachel has some ideas…"
"See," Clara says. "You're letting that poor wife of yours do all the work--"
"Mom, must I remind you, I work like 60 hours a week."
"No, San, you don't," Clara replies. "As if your father and I could ever forget."
"Plus, what about papa?" Santana asks. "What if he can't get the days off?"
"Your father has been at that hospital for so long, they aren't even allowed to stop him when he tries to take holidays off," Clara tells Santana. "I don't know why I'm arguing with you about this. The tickets are already bought."
"What? How? Why?"
"Rachel and I discussed it the other day."
"Before I talked to you?" Santana questions.
"Certainly not. I called her after our conversation to get the whole story," Clara explains. "Sometimes you leave details out."
"Great. So you're all conspiring against me."
"Exactly," Clara confirms. "I'm so glad you understand."
"Bye mom. I'm hanging up on you before I say something I regret."
"All right, dear. Talk to you soon."
…
"Why didn't you tell me?" Santana asks Rachel when she gets home after her show.
"You're going to have to be more specific, San."
"My parents are coming for Thanksgiving?"
"Oh. Yes, well, there was never a good time," Rachel tries.
"Ha! Or you knew I'd be… snapish."
"Perhaps," Rachel allows. "Which I don't understand. Why are you so against them visiting? Why do we always go to see them?"
"I don't know."
"I mean, they were out here for the wedding and then never again?"
Santana shrugs.
"San…"
"Look," Santana says finally. "Besides the fact that my family loves you more than me, maybe I just have difficulties mixing my past with the present."
"Your parents aren't the past," Rachel argues.
"Lima is."
"Then we shouldn't go back for Christmas, should we?"
"I might be having more issues with this whole situation than I said," Santana admits. "This whole thing is so fucking weird."
"Well I don't disagree with you there," Rachel replies. "I wish you'd told me."
"As if you've been your usual effusive self," Santana retorts.
"True. Would you like to come to therapy with me?" Rachel asks.
"Seriously?"
"Always."
"Maybe."
"It helps," Rachel assures her.
"All right."
"Good. And you'll call your mom and tell her you're fine with them visiting?"
"You want me to lie?" Santana asks.
"No. Be honest. Tell her, things are still odd around here and you were afraid of what their presence would do to the situation."
"What? That's not--I, mean, I don't… Fine. I'll call her tomorrow."
…
Rachel didn't think it possible, but when Beth and Abby find out that Clara and Tomás will be there for Thanksgiving, they become tenser.
"What about your dads?" Abby asks.
"They will not be visiting," Rachel replies. "Ever."
"Oh."
"But you guys don't have to worry. Clara and Tomás are wonderful."
"Yeah, well, it's just they're sort like our grandparents?" Abby says. "And we've never really had that."
"Oh. Well, I'm not sure if that's exactly how I'd categorize them," Rachel replies. "At least not yet."
"Oh."
"It's just this is all new," Rachel explains. "And even though I'm pretty sure that they won't have issues with being categorized as grandparents, I don't know how comfortable San would be. Just because she's not entirely comfortable being called your parent. Not because she doesn't want to be," Rachel assures them. "It's more that she thinks of you guys as her sisters rather than her kids. If that makes sense."
"It does," Beth replies. "Don't worry. We know you guys love us."
Rachel looks relieved.
"It would be nice to have grandparents though," Beth continues.
"I'm sure it would," Rachel agrees. "I often felt the same way growing up."
"You don't have any?"
"Being the child of two gay men doesn't always mean their parents want to be involved in any aspect of their lives."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"So family Thanksgiving, right?" Abby says, wanting to break up the tension.
"It'll be nice, I'm sure," Rachel says.
…
There are days that Santana wishes she and Rachel were a little less successful, so they'd have a smaller apartment. Then her parents would have to stay in a hotel and not in the apartment. But since both she and Rachel do any work they have at the dining room table, there's still a guest room that her parents can stay in.
Suddenly the apartment feels very small.
"It's only four days, tiger," Rachel tells Santana Wednesday night as they crawl into bed. "And it'll be good for Beth and Abby."
"And you," Santana adds. "It's the only reason I'm okay with this."
"Which I greatly appreciate."
"You know I'd do anything for you, babe."
…
Rachel is up earlier than usual Thursday morning. She, Beth and Abby had managed to go to the store in between her Wednesday shows, so they have all the ingredients they need.
She's soon joined by Clara and they quietly go about preparing Thanksgiving dinner.
Rachel is surprised when Abby is the next to join them. She sits on the counter and tries to stay out of the way. Because she's being more quiet than usual, Rachel tries to draw Abby out and talk with Clara. Especially since she knows both Abby and Beth want to get to know Santana's parents better.
Clara brought up the topic of Beth and Abby earlier and Rachel did her best to explain the whole situation, but she's not sure how well she did. However, she knows Santana wants to leave the detail giving to her; which she understands, but doesn't like.
Of course, Clara and Tomás had already discussed the whole situation on their way out. Rachel's glad that they seem to be on the same page. It'll make the entire weekend go a lot smoother.
It helps that Abby seems quite taken with Clara and vice versa.
Tomás appears next, needing coffee Followed by Beth looking for the same. The others are looking around for Santana, though Rachel knows she's still in bed, working, hoping to get some things done so she can spend the weekend with her parents. Santana's ambition won't let her slack off, even on a holiday.
…
They eat mid afternoon because Rachel still has to perform later that night. Both Clara and Tomás also wanted to see Rachel's latest show. Beth and Abby want to go as well and since Santana will never turn down a chance to see Rachel perform, it becomes a family excursion. Though, Santana is loathe to call it that. Rachel takes delight in teasing her about it as she gets ready.
…
They spend the rest of the weekend, bonding. Rachel has taken the rest of the weekend off. They do a couple touristy things, but mostly it's Clara trying to get to know the girls. Tomás does as well, but he prefers to let his wife win them over. He prefers to sit back and watch; and occasionally tease his daughter.
Though when he teasingly calls Santana, mom, it actually takes Rachel restraining Santana to stop her from jumping up and losing her temper. She settles with a growl and a dirty look.
Fortunately, Tomás is still very used to Santana's sometimes extreme reactions and just chuckles.
…
Saturday night, after Beth and Abby have gone to bed, Tomás and Clara sit down with Rachel and Santana.
"They're great girls," Tomá starts.
Rachel nods. "Shelby did an amazing job."
"They seem to be doing well, considering," Clara says.
Rachel shrugs. "Slowly but surely."
"And you're sure you don't need any help," Clara presses.
"Such as?" Rachel asks.
"I'm not sure," Clara admits. "But you just had two teenagers dropped in your laps."
"It's an adjustment," Santana throws out. "But we're managing."
"But you two work so much," Clara protests.
Rachel nods. "True. But they're both responsible enough that we're not worried."
"You're sure?" Tomás asks. "Beth is at the perfect acting out age. Add to that, that her mother just died and she's living with a sister she just recently learnt about?"
"Yes, it is extremely complicated," Santana says. "We know. Which is why we're all in counseling. It's probably the thing that is saving us."
"Separate or together?" Tomás questions.
"Both."
"Good."
"Look, papa," Santana starts. "Rach and I both know how this seems. But we're dealing with it the best we can."
"And maybe we're horrible people," Rachel takes over. "But neither of us are willing to jeopardize our budding careers to be stay at home moms."
"You're not selfish, girls," Clara says. "Your father and I are just worried that you're taking on too much."
"We might be," Rachel admits. "But what else can we do?"
"I wish we knew," Tomás replies.
"If it makes you feel better," Santana volunteers. "Rach has a tracking device on both their cell phones; which we doubt they'd go anywhere without."
"What if they turn it off?" Clara asks.
"As long as they have the phone with them, we'll know where they are," Rachel assures them.
Tomás eyes Rachel for a moment before speaking. "I'm not sure if I should be impressed by your fore thought or be concerned about how devious that is."
"Why not both?" Santana asks.
Clara and Tomás exchange a look before Clara speaks. "Why do I think there's a lot more behind that statement than you're letting on?"
"Things have a way of working themselves out," Rachel replies.
"So we're just going to move on?"
Santana nods.
"All right," Clara says. "Then I suppose you should know that Abby and Beth both asked me separately if they could think of us as their grandparents."
"And you said?" Santana asks.
"That as long as you girls were okay with it, it was fine."
"Oh. Good."
"Good?"
"They've never really had grandparents," Rachel explains. "And so when they found out that you guys were visiting, they were quite excited."
"They're trying to reshape their family," Tomás comments.
Rachel nods. "It's what I think as well. And if you're okay with it, I'm all for embracing it."
"But they're never calling us mom," Santana interjects.
"I doubt that'll be a problem, tiger," Rachel says. "Calm down."
"I'm too young to be the mother of a fifteen year old," Santana retorts.
"Don't make me say it, San," Rachel replies.
"Yeah. Yeah."
Tomás barely holds back a chuckle.
Seeing this, Santana asks, "What time is your flight, tomorrow?"
"Ten."
"I'm glad you guys came out," Santana says.
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"So are we, honey," Clara replies.
"We do feel a little better about this whole situation," Tomás admits. "We were a bit worried, but you two seem to have it under control."
"We're managing," Rachel says.
…
Rachel decides to call Jake Sunday night. It goes to voicemail like usual and so, like usual, she leaves her dad a message.
"Hey dad, it's Rachel. I was hoping we could talk. Call me back when you have a bit of time. Thanks. Bye."
Her cell rings a half hour later as she sits at the dining room table with Santana. The pair are once again going over their finances to better include Beth and Abby, long term.
"Are you ready?" Santana asks.
"I have no idea," Rachel replies. "But I don't want to put it off any longer."
Santana grabs her hand and plans on holding it through the whole conversation. "Good luck, babe."
"Thanks." Rachel quickly answers, before it stops ringing. "Hi dad."
"Hello, sweetie," Jake replies. Sorry. We were eating dinner."
"It's no problem, dad."
"So what did you want to talk about?"
"It's not so much that, as I just wanted to let you know, that, uh, Shelby died."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Shelby Corcoran. My birth mother. She's, um, dead."
"Oh," Jake says eventually. "And you know that how?"
"She contacted me a couple years ago. We've, uh, been in touch ever since?"
"Oh really," Jake continues. "I'm surprised you've never mentioned it."
"I wasn't sure how," Rachel replies.
Jake sighs. "I suppose I can understand that."
"Thanks."
"What happened?"
"Cancer," Rachel replies.
"Oh. When?"
"Two months ago."
"Two months ago? And you're just telling me now… Why do I feel like there's something else?" Jake asks.
"What?"
"Well, for you to call me two months after," Jake says. "It would make sense for you to call me a week or two after, but after all this time… The only reason you would be telling me after two months is because it has some larger affect on your life. One that you think I and by extension your daddy, should know."
Rachel gulps.
"But for the life of me," Jake continues. "I can't quite figure out what that would be. I mean, I'm assuming Shelby didn't suddenly become filthy rich and leave you an inheritance. Although she owes you that and more for how she treated you your sophomore year."
Rachel barely refrains from pointing out Jake's lacking presence in her adolescence.
"In fact, as far as I remember, all she has is that baby girl she adopted from that cheerleader who was in glee with you… Oh. Rachel, honey, is there anything you want to tell me?"
Rachel sighs. "Yes, dad. Shelby left guardian ship of Beth to me."
Jake's silence goes on for so long that Rachel checks her cell multiple times to make sure he didn't hang up.
"And what was your, uh, wife's reaction to this?"
It wasn't the question she was expecting. Nor does she know exactly how to answer. "It's complicated," Rachel says finally.
"I see," Jake replies slowly, obviously unsure what else to say.
"Listen, dad," Rachel starts. "You don't have to say anything. It's fine. I just wanted you to know. I thought both you and daddy would want to know of Shelby's passing."
"Yes, well, thank you for that, I suppose."
"But there's nothing you need to do or anything, all right," Rachel tells him. "So you can stop struggling with what to say next. Okay?"
"Rachel, honey, if you need to talk--"
"Dad, really, I'm fine," Rachel assures him. "I probably shouldn't have called you."
"Rachel, sweetie, don't be like that--"
"Really, dad," Rachel continues. "I'm fine. It was nice talking to you. I should probably go. San and I are kind of busy at the moment."
"Rachel, I know you think I don't care, but I do," Jake tries. "I just don't know what my place in your life isn't anymore." Jake sighs. "It's largely my fault, I suppose. I just wish…" Jake is quiet for a moment. "Never mind. Thanks for calling and letting us know. I'll be sure to tell your daddy."
Rachel isn't quite sure what just happened. "Okay."
"Anyway. If you do want to talk, you can always call me, honey, okay?"
"Okay dad."
"Love you, baby."
"Love you too, dad."
"Well that was awkward," Santana says as Rachel sets down her phone.
"It went better than I expected," Rachel replies.
"I hate to think what you thought was going to happen then," Santana says. "Because I felt awkward just observing that conversation."
"Still, thanks."
"Course babe. Anything for you."
Part Three
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, OCs, Mike/OFC, Beth, Shelby, Puck, Brittany
Rating: R
Summary: 2021 to 2035 in Rachel and Santana's lives together.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Also, any real celebrities used are purely for entertainment. I know nothing about any of these people and am simply manipulating them for my own devices.
Word Count: ~9, 400 (this part)/ ~41,100 (total)
Spoilers: Previous parts of this series and season 1 of glee
A/N: Part two, finally. For helionwolfchild. Because even though she only posted one update of Talk Too Much instead of the promised two, it was still awesome. Plus, the initial motivation of the "deal" was enough to keep me on track with this fic. Title is a quote by Simone Weil.
2nd A/N: All real actors used were chosen because their age would match what it would be when this fic actually takes place. Also, once again, anything I didn't know (mostly anything related to lawyer-ing) was researched on the interweb, so I apologize if I've gotten things wrong.
3rd A/N:Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Part One
Part Two
Summer 2023
Santana has been in the Vehicular Crime Unit for almost two years when she called into her boss's office.
"Have a seat, Lopez," Eric Yarr tells her.
"Thank you, sir."
"How long have you been with the VCU?" Yarr asks her.
"Two years this September."
"Hmmm," Yarr nods, apparently deep in thought. "Normally that'd be something to be proud of. However, in your case, I don't think that's going to be true."
Santana feels like a bucket of cold water has been dropped on her. "Sir?"
"It has been decided that your place is no longer with the VCU," Yarr says. "Instead you're now to be in charge of the Crime Strategies Unit starting Monday."
Santana fights letting a full blown smile appear on her face. "Thank you sir."
"You've earned it Lopez. Keep this up and you'll be with Major Crimes before you're forty."
"I won't let you down, sir."
"Don't get dramatic, Lopez," Yarrs replies. "But congratulations. Now get out of my office."
Santana stands. "Yes sir. Thank you sir." And she quickly escapes Yarr's office.
…
Santana figures leaving early today is allowed. Rachel usually leaves for the theater before Santana has even left the office, so it's with jubilance that she unlocks the door to their apartment at three.
"Babe, I'm home," she calls out.
A moment later, Rachel appears in the kitchen where Santana is putting the champagne she bought in the fridge.
"San, why are you home so early? Are you sick?"
Santana just grabs Rachel and kisses her, letting her excitement turn into passion. Rachel immediately responds, pressing Santana against the refrigerator door. When the pressure of the door handle against her spine gets to be too much, Santana pulls away. Rachel looks at her questioningly.
"Sorry," Santana says, stepping away from the fridge. "But you are looking at the lead ADA for the Crime Strategies Unit."
"Already?" Rachel asks. "It's only been like two years."
"Less than, actually," Santana replies. "But Yarr says if I keep this up, I could be in charge of Major Crimes by the time I'm forty."
"And DA by fifty, I'm sure."
"You know, it, babe."
"We have to celebrate."
"It's why I'm home early."
"I wish I didn't have a show tonight. I'm going to have Melanie do it tonight."
"What?" Santana asks. "No way, Rach. That's why I came home early, so you wouldn't have to."
"Well then you're delusional if you think we're only going to celebrate for a couple hours."
"Hey, I didn't come home early just for sex," Santana protests.
"Which is why I'm not performing tonight," Rachel replies. "Let me go call Terry and let him know. And then we can celebrate anyway you want."
Santana smirks, watching Rachel skip off to find her cell, feeling very loved. The only thing Rachel seems to value more than her Broadway career is Santana's and it makes Santana's heart swell every time Rachel shows it.
…
"Congrats, Lopez," Jen tells Santana when the meet for coffee. "It's about time."
"Yes if only all of us could become our boss's favorite overnight," Santana snarks back.
"Who knew he'd be a fan of The Fountainhead?" Jen asks. "I wish I could say it was planned."
"Yeah, well, Ayn Rand is insane, was insane, whatever."
"Maybe," Jen shrugs. "But she wrote some interesting books."
"How's T?" Santana asks.
"Still good. Busy. Luckily, Trent's been able to find a lot of freelance lately."
"Time of year," Santana says. "People are probably trying to come up with good advertising for their holiday bullshit."
"Probably. We'll take it."
"You ever gonna marry your fella?"
"Don't plan on it," Jen replies.
"Who's stringing who along?"
"Just because your love life is some sort of fairy tale, doesn't mean that everyone has to get married."
"Sorry. Didn't mean to touch a nerve."
"It's just I hear that question a lot," Jen explains. "From everyone."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"If you don't want to get married, then don't," Santana says. "I just figured that's the inevitable conclusion for peoples such as you and T."
"Peoples such as me and Trent?"
"Breeders," Santana smirks.
"You're lucky this coffee cup is empty, Lopez."
Autumn 2023
Rachel's in the shower when she hears her cell ring. Knowing it could be important, she hurries to finish. However, she's surprised when it rings again a minute or two later. When it rings five more times before she's finally out of the shower and dried off, Rachel begins to suspect it's Santana calling.
Finding her phone, proves her wrong. It's actually Mike calling.
"What?!"
"Rach!" he exclaims. "I need tickets to your show tonight."
"That's why you've called over five times in the last ten minutes?"
"I met this girl last night, Rach," Mike says. "She's perfect. And she's a Broadway fan, so when I mentioned I might be able to get tickets of your show, she agreed to go out with me tonight."
"That's a bit of short notice, Mike," Rachel replies.
"It's a Tuesday, Rachel," Mike tells her. "If it was Friday, I'd understand."
"Fine," Rachel huffs. "I'll do what I can. But I want to meet this girl. It's only fair."
"Absolutely."
"Perhaps the four of us could do brunch on Saturday?"
"Don't you need to check with Lopez?"
"Probably," Rachel agrees. "But if nothing else, the three of us could meet."
"All right. So you'll let me know?"
"Yes, Mike, I'll let you know," Rachel tells him. "Good bye."
"Thanks Berry," Mike teases and hangs up.
…
Rachel does manage to get excellent seats reserved for Mike. She sends him a text that they're at the box office under his name.
In reply, he thanks her and says he'll ask Zoe about meeting Rachel and Santana for brunch on Saturday.
…
Santana grumbles about plans being made without getting her input, though Rachel knows Santana is just as curious about this girl as she is.
"Besides, you like brunch," Rachel points out.
"I already said I'd go babe," Santana says.
They try to be early, but Santana insists on being distracting all morning and so Rachel has no choice, but to push her up against the bathroom door and fuck her until she comes.
They leave the apartment fifteen minutes later than Rachel had planned and so they're right on time.
Mike and Zoe are already there and so Mike waves them over once he sees them.
"I apologize for our tardiness," Rachel says, hugging Rachel.
"I'm not sorry," Santana adds, smacking Mike on the back.
Rachel turns to the woman standing next to Mike and is delighted to see they're the same height. "I'm Rachel."
"Zoe."
"It's a pleasure to meet you."
"It's an honor to meet you," Zoe replies. "You are amazing as Laurey."
"Thank you," Rachel says, trying not to preen. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
The waitress suddenly appears and takes their order. She quickly disappears and Rachel being Rachel begins to interrogate Zoe, making sure she's good enough for Mike. After a few questions, Rachel seems content and the conversation turns to work.
Mike owns his own dance studio where he and a few others teach various ages. He also choreographies for various people around the city: dance troupes, Broadway, off Broadway, and some television. He talks about the commercial he's been working on for the past week.
Zoe, it turns out, teaches music at a private high school. It's how they met. Mike was brought in to talk about dance and music and took a shine to Zoe.
The meal passes pleasantly and all too soon the waitress is bringing them their bill.
When Mike and Santana get up to pay the checks, Rachel scoots closer to Zoe.
"It's been wonderful meeting you," Rachel says. "But I would like to make something abundantly clear."
"Oh?"
"Mike is my best friend and one of the best guys I know," Rachel tells Zoe, eyes growing dark. "So if you hurt him, I will hurt you. And that's not just an idle threat. You can ask Mike, my wife ruled our high school with a vengeful fist and it wouldn't be too difficult for us to make your life miserable."
Zoe can only stare at Rachel.
"But of course that's only if you hurt him," Rachel says, a smile returning to her face. "If not, well then you have nothing to worry about."
"I know I've come off as a… over enthusiastic fan, Rachel," Zoe replies. "But I promise, Mike seems like a good guy I want to get to know."
"Good. I hope you understand why I had to do that."
"I do."
"We all good here," Mike asks, sitting down next to Zoe.
"Oh yes," Rachel says.
"Rachel and I were just talking about you," Zoe adds.
"Um, all right."
"Get used to it, Chang," Santana says as she sits back down next to Rachel. "You know how Rach is."
Rachel smacks Santana on the arm. "Hey."
Santana smirks back.
Winter 2023
This is the first year that Santana is required to attend an office Holiday party. She knows it's good for her career, but she's definitely not looking forward to it. At least, both she and Rachel have become well versed in schmoosing. They've done it plenty for Rachel's career, so Santana figures they might as well dive in and do it for hers.
…
"Am I a Broadway diva or your dedicated wife?" Rachel asks as she applies make up.
"Can't you be both?" Santana asks through Rachel's cell.
Santana is at the office, working because, of course the party is right after work. Rachel is getting ready at home and meeting Santana there. The echo of the bathroom sounds odd to Santana through the phone. She wonders if she's speaking loud enough for the speakerphone.
"I just meant, is there a certain way you'd like me to behave? I don't want to mess anything up for you."
"Love you too." Santana's smile can be heard through the phone. "I'll tell you the same thing you told me. The best way you can help me is to be your usual witty and charming self; modest, but not afraid to speak of your accomplishments. A strong partner equals a strong individual. I want them to see I have a stunning, brilliant, captivating wife. I think if we continue to paint ourselves as a power couple, people will start to see us that way."
"True enough," Rachel agrees. "Projecting the right image is essential."
"You'll be fine, babe," Santana says. "I'm not worried. I gotta go. I have to finish this before you get here. Later."
"See you soon."
…
They glide in together, making an entrance despite their quiet arrival. Rachel isn't self centered enough to think it's solely because of her and is pleasantly surprised when several people come up to her as fans. She's unassuming and enchanting, quickly producing chuckles and eager conversation.
Leaving Rachel to what she does best, Santana slips away to find herself and Rachel a drink. Finding two glasses of wine, she slowly makes her way back towards her wife.
"Lopez."
"Deerfield."
"I see you brought the little lady," Rob comments.
"You're attention to detail is spectacular."
"It's not going to work," Rob tells her.
"What isn't?"
"Your plan."
"My what?"
"Your plan," Rob repeats.
"Whatever you say, Deerfield. I'm going to go give the wife her drink." Weaving through the room, Santana is mildly impressed that Rob realized what she is doing, though admittedly, not subtly. Rachel will charm the higher ups and then talk her up. Rachel can be sly when she wants to. It may not have an immediate effect, but Santana is optimistic that when coupled with her own impressive track record are the first step in achieving her ambitions.
It helps that Rachel is wicked talented and fucking hot, especially in an off the shoulder, red dress that hugs are her curves perfectly. It's taking every ounce of will power Santana has to not drag her into the bathroom for a quickie.
The only thing stopping her, is the fear of getting caught.
Instead, she slips behind Rachel, wrapping an arm around her waist and offering Rachel the wine glass.
Smiling, Rachel accepts the glass and whispers, "Thanks baby." And then goes back to an intense debate with several ADAs about the role of the arts in education.
…
The minute the door of their apartment is shut and locked, Santana grabs Rachel and pushes her against it. Kissing her thoroughly, Santana lets her hands trace the path her lips plan to take very soon.
"God, you are the most amazing fucking wife a girl could hope for," Santana whispers in Rachel's ear before nibbling down her neck.
When Santana finally lets Rachel go long enough to breath, Rachel pushes her away for a moment.
"I'm taking this dress off first. I really like this one and you're not ruining it like you did my blue one from New Year's last year."
"Whatever. It's completely your fault for being so fucking hot. Not to mention, how fucking amazing you were tonight. Everyone in that fucking office loves you. Could you be more perfect?"
"I realize you've been drinking, but must you curse so much?" Rachel asks.
"Fuck yeah." Santana lets her eyes roam her wife's now naked form. "I mean, what I'm seeing right now? Completely fucking cuss worthy."
"Flatterer."
Winter 2024
When Noah calls her about a duet, Rachel is pleasantly surprised. While her successes are growing, she didn't think they were in line with Noah's work.
"What?" Noah says. "We're bros, still, right? And I know you've got a fucking awesome voice."
Rachel does have issues with how much more cursing Noah engages in. He tells her it's a rock star thing.
"Besides, I showed the guys your picture and since you're so fucking hot, they're okay with it."
"What picture did you show them?" Rachel asks suspiciously.
There's a pause as Rachel hears Noah clear his throat. "I may have taken a picture of a certain photo while I was in town last time."
"Noah, you didn't."
"I had to, Rach," Noah answers. "I already had some lyrics in my head and I knew the guys would never agree unless they saw how fucking sexy you were. It's a rock thing. So I snapped a picture of it with my phone."
"That was private," Rachel growls. "A birthday gift for San. I knew I should have never got your opinion about it."
"Hey, at least you're not naked."
"Lingerie is close enough!"
"Does that mean you don't want to do it?"
"What's the song?"
…
Noah's band is called Guys in Vans Who Want Burritos. Rachel thinks it's a ridiculous name, but Noah assures her it's part of their appeal. The group has been together for almost ten years and have a small record deal. The song, Left Behind will be the third song on their second album and is a duet between her and Noah.
Reading over the lyrics Noah emails her, Rachel can admit it's a good song. Noah played her a bit of the music over the phone and so she can almost hear it in her head as she reads over the words.
The band will be in town next month and they'll record it then. She offered to fly to them, but Noah assures her they have other additional reasons for visiting New York.
…
Noah suggests they all meet over breakfast because if it ever gets awkward, they can all stare at their plates. The band's first full day in the city is a Sunday, so she drags Santana along for moral support.
Noah greets her with a hug that lifts her off the ground. She smacks him when he sets her down. He and Santana embrace too, though it ends with Santana punching Noah in the shoulder.
"Guys, this is Rachel and her wife, Santana. Ladies this is Drew, he plays bass and Crash here is the drummer."
They all shake hands before sitting down.
"Crash?" Rachel asks. "Is that because you play the drums?"
"Actually it's from when I was a kid," he replies. "I was a bit of a daredevil on my bike, so I ended up crashing quite a bit."
"Now he just drums like a daredevil," Drew adds.
"I just let the music inspire me," Crash says.
"Show off is more like it," Drew throws out.
"Ignore them," Noah says. "They fight like an old married couple."
"Shut up, Puckerman," Drew says. "You're just jealous of our love."
Santana chuckles. "He's got your number, Puck."
"No one asked you, Lopez."
"If you didn't want the truth, then you should have told Rach to leave me at home."
"As if she'd listen to me."
Santana smirks. "So what's the plan?"
"We figure we'd rehearse a bit today before Rach's show tonight. And then record tomorrow since she'll have the day off," Noah explains.
"We've got a studio booked all day tomorrow starting at 9am," Drew adds.
"I doubt we'll need it," Noah says. "Rach here's a professional." He elbows Santana. "Too bad you gotta work, Lopez. You, me and Berry, it'll be like the good old days."
"Please don't bring up high school, Noah--"
"Noah! Bwahahaha!" Crash bursts out laughing.
"Though, I admit it'd be fun to sing with you again, tiger," Rachel continues.
Noah tries to reach across the table and smack Crash, but the blonde ducks out of the way.
"I'll see if I can get done early, all right, babe?"
Smiling in delight, Rachel can't help but lean in for a kiss.
"Awww," Drew says.
Noah elbows him. "Dude."
"What? They're in love. It's cute."
"Thank you, Drew," Rachel says.
…
Monday morning Rachel is at the studio bright and early, warmed up and ready to go. Knowing how Rachel is in this mode, Puck gulps down his coffee and quickly gets everything set up.
They get through the song five times and thankfully they all agree that the fourth time was the best.
"How about we have a little fun?" Puck suggests.
"That sounds quite suspicious, Noah," Rachel replies.
"Just go with the flow, Rach." Puck quickly confers with Crash and Drew before motioning to the booth that he wants to record this.
He sees Rachel smile when she recognizes the opening chords for Don’t Stop Believing. Thankfully, Rachel seems to remember the song. She sings it with an airiness he's surprised by, but enjoys.
Rachel's grin widens when the music transitions to Seasons of Love. She easily slides into it for which Puck is grateful, because while it was the one musical he didn't mind watching with Rachel.
It's as they're finishing the song that Puck looks over and sees Santana in the booth. He nods and Santana smirks back, shaking her head.
"That was fun," Rachel says once they're done.
"Pretty awesome, actually," Crash says, setting his sticks down.
"You still want to sing something?" Puck asks Santana as she walks in.
Rachel saunters over to Santana as she replies, "Yes." They embrace and still intertwined, Rachel turns to face the band.
"Have anything in mind?"
…
They end up playing, You Can't Always Get What You Want and it goes pretty well. Puck wants to do more, but Santana figures she's been gone long enough. She went in early to make sure she'd get everything done she needed to before she left for lunch.
Santana glares at Puck until he, Drew and Crash turn their backs before saying good bye to Rachel. It's not that they're doing anything more than a simple good bye kiss, but it's been a long time since she's sung with Rachel and she'd forgotten how much fun it was. Santana wants to live in that bubble for a few more moments before she has to return to the grind of work.
"You gonna see Rach's show with us tomorrow night?" Puck asks.
"Of course," Santana replies. "I have to make sure you behave yourself, don't I?"
"Damn straight," Crash says. "Can't take Puckerman anywhere."
This earns him Puck's empty coffee cup flying at him.
…
Despite hearing Rachel sing and being impressed, both Crash and Drew seem to be in awe as they watch Rachel in Oklahoma! When Rachel does her curtain call, they both stand and whistle. Santana sees a slight blush on her wife's face at this response.
"Jeez, you'd think you guys have never seen a damn musical," Puck says after.
"Let us be impressed, Puckerman," Drew says. "We think your girl is awesome."
"You're not wrong," Santana says.
"You're just jealous," Crash adds. "You know we like her better than you."
Santana starts laughing. "You guys are all right."
"Shut up Lopez," Puck grouses.
"You're just mad that they've got your number, Puckerman," Santana retorts.
When Rachel eventually joins them, she's greeted by a bear hug that lifts her off her feet, first from Crash and then Drew. Puck gives her a solid full body hug and Santana thinks it's the most tender she's ever seen Puckerman. She watches him whisper in her ear and the ensuing blush that it earns.
Her wife finally makes her way over to Santana and greets her with a kiss.
"Amazing as always, babe," Santana tells her.
"Thanks, tiger," Rachel replies. She turns to the rest of them. "Drinks?"
Spring 2024
In March, Rachel begins looking for another show to do. Her last performance as Laurey is bittersweet since it's her first Broadway show, but Rachel knows it's time to move on.
Her agent, Gretchen Tam begins finding her auditions and it isn't too long before Rachel is cast in something new.
…
Rachel is surprised when she's cast as Marian Paroo in The Music Man. She went on the audition because Gretchen set it up, but had never really considered the role.
Which isn't to say, she doesn't like the musical, because she does; it's a classic and she always enjoyed the movie version.
It turns out to be a fun experience with a great cast. Before Rachel knows it, they're previewing to excited audiences who seem to love it.
Summer 2024
Left Behind by Guys in Vans Who Want Burritos, featuring Rachel Berry is released in June. It starts out at #77 on the charts, but grows in popularity until it's at #19.
…
It's late August when Rachel gets an odd call from Shelby. She agrees to come over for lunch.
When Rachel arrives, she's a bit surprised by Shelby's appearance. She looks run down and older than her years. It's then that Rachel realizes that though she's seen Beth and Abby quite a few times this summer, she's only seen Shelby once.
They sit down to soup and sandwiches for which Shelby apologizes for.
"It's fine," Rachel assures her. "Really."
They eat in silence for a few moments before Rachel can't stand the wait anymore.
"I'm sorry, Shelby," Rachel says, setting down her spoon. "But my curiosity is quite piqued. What exactly did you want to talk about?"
"I just wanted to say thanks," Shelby explains. "For these past two years and giving me the opportunity to get to know you."
"Shelby…"
"I mean it, Rachel," Shelby continues. "I know our history is… messy. I feel like I did you a great disservice all those years ago and I am so thankful that you finally gave me another chance."
Rachel sighs. "It's been nice getting to know you too."
"And I'll admit it's nice to see you getting along so well with Beth and Abby."
"They're great girls, Shelby. You've, uh, done a good job."
"Thank you for saying that."
"But you didn't ask me over to talk history," Rachel says.
"You're right. I didn't." Shelby takes a deep breath. "I have cancer," Shelby states. "A cardiac sarcoma of the heart, to be specific."
"What?"
"I was diagnosed a couple years ago," Shelby explains. "It's the main reason I started seeking you out again. I didn't want to die without at least getting to know you a bit."
"I…"
"I realize this is a lot to spring on you," Shelby continues. "And I wasn't sure if I would ever tell you. But I admit, I'm a bit selfish. I wanted to make sure I told you everything I need to tell you and I knew you wouldn't accept it unless you knew the reasons behind it."
"Ahhh…"
"I went to the doctor this morning and he said I probably only have a month, maybe two left."
"Oh."
"I was hoping the girls could stay with you and Santana until this is all over," Shelby says. "I don't think it's the best environment for them at the moment."
"Of course," Rachel finally manages. "I certainly agree with that sentiment."
"Thank you, Rachel."
"Shelby," Rachel says. "I'm not going to lie to you. I still can't quite think of you as anything other than my birth mother, but I am glad we had this time together."
"Really?"
"Truly."
…
So Beth and Abby come to stay with them. Rachel is thankful they have enough room, though the girls do have to share a room. Neither complain. They go to school, then stop by to see Shelby and are home in time to have dinner with Santana. If Santana has to work late, they fend for themselves, usually making something simple like grilled cheese.
Rachel offers to take some time off from her show, but Beth won't hear of it, saying they're just fine. Having some place to stay is enough; they don’t want to interfere with Rachel's career as well.
They argued it for about twenty minutes until Santana stepped in and agreed with Beth, adding that they reevaluate the system every other week and readjust if necessary.
Everyone seemed pleased with this solution and peace returns for the time being.
Things run smoother than Rachel expected, but perhaps the girls are on their best behavior because of the situation. Though Santana sometimes lets it slip that a crying Abby sought her out for a hug. Beth is more stoic and so Rachel isn't quite sure how she's dealing. But the second Monday after moving in, Beth joins Rachel on the couch and asks Rachel some tough questions.
"You don't think of me as your sister, do you?"
"What? Why would you ask that?"
Beth shrugs. "I don't know. I just wonder sometimes."
Rachel sighs. "What do you want me to say, Beth? I mean, I'm fifteen years older than you. You were raised by Shelby and me, by my dads. We're not related by blood, not that, that matters to me. I think of you as my little sister and yet, I don't look at you as my little sister. Does that make sense?"
"Sort of," Beth admits. "I mean, I call you big sis, but at the same time, I know how completely odd the whole situation is."
"Indeed."
"I'm pretty sure mom sought you out because she wanted us to have a relationship once she's gone. I know it was partly because she also wanted to right what she thought was a past wrong, but the way she talks about you, and Santana… I want us to be sisters in every sense of the word, because I think that's what she wants."
"I don't quite know what to do with that information," Rachel admits.
"It's just… my mom's dying. And you're my sister and Abby's pretty much my sister too. And we've talked about it. But for some reason, I want to talk to you about it too. I'm just really scared."
Rachel pulls Beth in for a hug. "I know, sweetie. I don't know what's going to happen, but we'll figure it out, together. Okay?"
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Autumn 2024
Shelby dies on a Thursday, six weeks later. Rachel gets a call from a hospice nurse and feels numb once given the news. Though Rachel has never really considered Shelby her mother after the incident sophomore year, the only words in Rachel's mind are, "My mother is dead."
Rachel's not sure how she's able to perform that night, but she does. It feels hollow somehow and so she tells her stage manager, Martin that she needs the next four days off and that she'll be back for Wednesday's matinee.
When Martin finds out the reason, he tells her to take more time than that. After a bit pushing, she agrees to take Wednesday off as well.
…
Rachel starts to believe the reason she decided to perform Thursday night was to avoid everything for a little longer. Despite knowing it was coming, Shelby's death hits them all hard. And Rachel knows she has to be strong for Beth and Abby.
Santana is worried about Abby. The girl has already lost both her parents and now her aunt. Santana doesn't know if she'd be able to handle that at the age of twelve.
Thursday night when Rachel arrives home, she finds both girls still awake on the couch with Santana watching The Discovery Channel. She silently joins her and somehow the four of them end up cuddled together. They fall asleep, jumbled together, huddled under several blankets.
…
Rachel feels numb. It's purposeful. Pushing aside her own feelings on Shelby's passing, makes it easier to be there for Beth and Abby.
Beth is openly crying, while Abby appears to attempting stoicism. Rachel wonders why. Glancing to her left, Rachel can see Abby is squeezing Santana's hand rather tightly.
Sitting in the first pew of the church, Rachel listens to the minister drone on about death and heaven and being at peace. Never overly religious, she's having a difficult time being so accepting of it all; more so because of Beth and Abby. She wonders if Santana has a better grasp on it all. They haven't really talked about it, Rachel hasn't felt ready to.
She feels like she should be doing more. Logically, she knows being there for Beth and Abby is all she can do. But honestly, looking at the tears streaming down Beth's face, Rachel has never felt more inadequate.
And then Beth grabs Rachel's hand, squeezing it tightly and gives a watery smile. Rachel smiles back sadly.
…
“I’m sorry, but could you read that part again?” Rachel asks.
Despite the improvement of her relationship with Shelby over the past couple years, Rachel still surprised when Gary Dyal, Shelby's lawyer informs them they should stop by his office. She can't imagine Shelby bequeathing her anything. Instead, she gets the shock of her life.
“I leave custody of Beth Corcoran and Abby Corcoran to Rachel Berry Lopez and her partner, Santana Lopez,” the lawyer rereads.
“I…” Rachel gasps.
“There’s a letter for you,” Dyal offers, holding up an envelope. “Hopefully this will help with the confusion.”
Rachel’s hands are shaking so bad, she can’t open the envelope. Finally, Santana takes it from her and rips it open. She unfolds it and hands it back.
My Dearest Rachel,
I’m sure you are suffering from a great deal of shock right now. For that, I apologize. I know I should have brought this up with you beforehand, but I was afraid of your reaction. I also realize that you’re close with Noah Puckerman, making this whole situation a bit awkward. I owe you an apology for that as well.
It’s just that I don’t have anyone else to trust them with. I know I could leave Beth with either of her now adult birth parents, but then what about Abby? I fear what separating them might do.
But I also think you and Santana are in the best position to raise them. Puckerman is on the road constantly and Quinn is a workaholic trying desperately to make partner. Yes, I did my research.
The girls already know you both and genuinely like you. Plus, they won't have to change schools or move to a new city. Hopefully this will make dealing with everything else a little bit easier.
You probably want to curse me and spit on my grave. Well, maybe just Santana. And I don’t blame you or her for that. But I also know you’ll do the right thing and give these girls a proper home.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be the mom you needed when you needed, but I hope maybe Beth and Abby can become your family as well. And perhaps one day your memories of me can be fond ones and not too painful.
Thank you so much for giving me another chance. I know I didn’t deserve it, but I relished every moment.
I love you,
Shelby
Rachel looks up, eyes watery, but unwilling to cry. Santana lays a hand on Rachel’s knee.
“All right,” Rachel says after dabbing her eyes. “You may continue.”
Dyal nods.
…
Once he's done giving them all the necessary information, Dyal leaves them alone to talk. The shock still floating through room thick and heavy.
“At least she left us some money to cover the extra mouths to feed,” Santana quips.
“San, honey, now isn’t really the time,” Rachel tells her.
“Sorry babe.”
“I know this is tough, for you.”
“I’m sorry too,” Rachel says. “This is just so much. Too much.”
“Agreed,” Santana says. “If we’d known about the custody, at least that she was considering it…”
“That’s Shelby for you,” Rachel snarks.
"Still," Santana continues. "I can't believe she would tell you that she's dying, but not mention the whole custody thing."
Rachel doesn't reply immediately. "Maybe it was implied."
"What?"
"I mean, think about it. Though it didn't immediately occur to me, I knew that there's really no one else who could take them."
"Rach--"
"Both of her parents are dead, she didn't have any other siblings besides Zack and while Quinn or Noah could take Beth, where does that leave Abby?"
"I suppose if you really think about it, sure," Santana agrees. "But considering you were being told by your until recently estranged birth mother, it's understandable why it wouldn't occur to you."
“Oh my god!” Rachel exclaims. “We have to raise Quinn and Noah’s daughter.”
Rachel starts to gasp for air.
“Panic attack,” Santana says. “Try to stay calm and breathe.”
“I… I can’t.”
“Rach, babe, stop and try to relax. Breathe. That’s the only thing that will help.”
Rachel nods as she tries to follow Santana's instructions.
"Just listen to the sound of my voice," Santana continues. "Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out."
Rachel finally lets herself listen to her wife's voice and tries to follow her instructions.
"You worry too much. Beth's fifteen years old, babe," Santana points out. "We're not so much raising her as we are…"
Knowing Santana doesn't know how to finish the sentence, Rachel just nods. "I suppose you're right."
"Besides, she hasn't been theirs for a very long time. Don't you agree?"
"Yes. But are they going to see it that way?"
"I don't really talk to Fabray anymore."
"And Noah?"
"Right, well, we'll figure that out another day."
"San…"
"Do we or do we not have bigger more immediate concerns than of how to inform one Noah Puckerman?"
"Considering they're already staying with us," Rachel says. "I probably should have seen this coming."
"Let's go home, so we can talk to them about it."
Rachel stands, but doesn't move immediately. She looks a little lost.
"Babe?"
"My mom's dead, San."
"I know, baby," Santana says, pulling Rachel into a hug. "I'm sorry."
…
The conversation between Rachel, Santana, Beth and Abby goes better than Santana expected. She's not sure she could have been so clear headed after losing her mother as a teenager. Hell, Abby isn't even thirteen yet.
Though, Santana does wish Dyal had called them sooner. If she or Rachel had known that both girls were afraid of being separated and sent away, they would have demanded answers much sooner. Wanting to give the girls time to grieve, they hadn't adequately addressed the issue.
Looking at Rachel, Santana can see she regrets leaving the girls be as well. But it's too late to change it, so they try to be as open as they can be about how things are going to be from now on.
…
"How's Santana handling it?" Mike asks.
"Better than I am, I think," Rachel replies.
"You haven't talked about it?"
Rachel sighs. "I haven't felt… ready to, I suppose."
"I figured," Mike tells her. "You've been far less verbose than usual."
Rachel doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at that statement, so she ends up shrugging. "It's all too much. I feel like I'm drowning."
"Do you wish Shelby had stayed away?"
"No," Rachel shakes her head. "Definitely not. If only because I wouldn't have been able to handle the guilt I would have felt when I heard of her death."
"You're so sure you'd find out?" Mike questions.
Rachel nods. "I'm sure."
"I can't' believe she didn't tell you before hand," Mike says.
"I think she was afraid to," Rachel replies. "It's very difficult to say no to a dead woman."
"Still," Mike says. "Your family situation is mind boggling."
"Thank god for the normalcy of San's family," Rachel replies.
"Have you talked to your dads?" Mike asks.
"No," Rachel sighs. "I'll probably call my dad once things have settled slightly, just so they know. I'm not sure how much they'll care."
"I'm sure they care ," Mike assures her.
"Yes, but do they care enough?" Rachel asks.
"Probably not."
"What about Puck?"
"Oh god," Rachel replies. "I can't even think about that conversation yet."
"It's your fault for talking to him still. You should be like Lopez. She barely talks to Quinn anymore."
"Try never, actually," Rachel corrects. "If I'd known… But that song was so much fun and his band mates are great guys."
"I can't believe Beth doesn't know," Mike comments.
"Speaking from experience," Rachel says. "I think not knowing is better. Reality can sometimes be a disappointment."
"Yeah, but she should be given a choice, don't you think?"
"Yes. I do. Which is why once she's eighteen, we'll tell her whatever she wants," Rachel replies.
"Oh. Well that's good then."
…
The girls are mostly withdrawn. It's decided that some grief counseling might be useful, especially since neither Rachel or Santana feel qualified to help properly. Besides, Rachel doesn't even know how she feels about everything. She's really struggling.
Rachel and Santana simply try to be there for Beth and Abby the best they can. Both girls end up talking to Santana about it more. Santana assumes they're not comfortable talking to their "sister" about it. They end up cuddling with Rachel if they can't sleep, especially Abby. However, when Rachel asks how either is feeling, Beth replies, "Well enough." while Abby says, "I don't want to talk about it."
After a month of feeling out of sorts, Rachel seeks therapy as well. She can admit, that if she wasn't Beth and Abby's guardian, she probably wouldn't have sought help. But Rachel knows for the girls to be able to deal and move on, she has to as well.
…
"I can't believe she left them to you two," Jen says over lunch.
"You're make them sound like furniture or something," Santana replies.
"But she did, didn't she?"
"Basically."
"Shit," Jen says.
Santana nods.
"How's Rachel?"
Santana shrugs. "Struggling. She's sad about Shelby, but at the same time, there was so much emotional turmoil in their relationship, I don't think she knows how to feel. She's avoiding it; focusing on the girls."
"And you?" Jen asks. "I mean essentially, you're a mom."
"Whoa," Santana replies. "We are not their mothers. We are their guardians. Or I'm their sister-in-law. But we are not parental figures. Adult, authority figures, but that's it."
"Chill, Lopez," Jen says. "I was just kidding."
"It's just ridiculously complicated," Santana replies. "And considering I was there when Beth was born…"
"Which they still don't know," Jen says.
Santana nods. "I know. But Shelby was clear about that and I don't disagree. Though Rachel and I haven't decided how we're going to deal with telling Puckerman."
"Why do you have to?" Jen asks. "He rarely visits."
"Normally I'd agree, but the song he sang with Rachel did pretty well, and I wouldn't put it past him to suggest it again when it's time for another album."
"Well, maybe wait until then," Jen suggests. "Give the girls time to grieve and all of you time to adjust."
"Yeah. You're probably right."
…
When Santana explains the situation to her parents, Clara insists on flying out for Thanksgiving.
"Really, mom," Santana says. "It's not necessary."
"Necessary? Of course it is, dear," Clara replies. "You can't subject those poor girls to you and Rachel's insane Thanksgiving tradition."
"It's not insane, mom," Santana argues. "It's… well, we like it."
"Holing up in your apartment and making love all day is no longer an acceptable way to spend the day."
"Mom. I know that."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Well, Rachel has some ideas…"
"See," Clara says. "You're letting that poor wife of yours do all the work--"
"Mom, must I remind you, I work like 60 hours a week."
"No, San, you don't," Clara replies. "As if your father and I could ever forget."
"Plus, what about papa?" Santana asks. "What if he can't get the days off?"
"Your father has been at that hospital for so long, they aren't even allowed to stop him when he tries to take holidays off," Clara tells Santana. "I don't know why I'm arguing with you about this. The tickets are already bought."
"What? How? Why?"
"Rachel and I discussed it the other day."
"Before I talked to you?" Santana questions.
"Certainly not. I called her after our conversation to get the whole story," Clara explains. "Sometimes you leave details out."
"Great. So you're all conspiring against me."
"Exactly," Clara confirms. "I'm so glad you understand."
"Bye mom. I'm hanging up on you before I say something I regret."
"All right, dear. Talk to you soon."
…
"Why didn't you tell me?" Santana asks Rachel when she gets home after her show.
"You're going to have to be more specific, San."
"My parents are coming for Thanksgiving?"
"Oh. Yes, well, there was never a good time," Rachel tries.
"Ha! Or you knew I'd be… snapish."
"Perhaps," Rachel allows. "Which I don't understand. Why are you so against them visiting? Why do we always go to see them?"
"I don't know."
"I mean, they were out here for the wedding and then never again?"
Santana shrugs.
"San…"
"Look," Santana says finally. "Besides the fact that my family loves you more than me, maybe I just have difficulties mixing my past with the present."
"Your parents aren't the past," Rachel argues.
"Lima is."
"Then we shouldn't go back for Christmas, should we?"
"I might be having more issues with this whole situation than I said," Santana admits. "This whole thing is so fucking weird."
"Well I don't disagree with you there," Rachel replies. "I wish you'd told me."
"As if you've been your usual effusive self," Santana retorts.
"True. Would you like to come to therapy with me?" Rachel asks.
"Seriously?"
"Always."
"Maybe."
"It helps," Rachel assures her.
"All right."
"Good. And you'll call your mom and tell her you're fine with them visiting?"
"You want me to lie?" Santana asks.
"No. Be honest. Tell her, things are still odd around here and you were afraid of what their presence would do to the situation."
"What? That's not--I, mean, I don't… Fine. I'll call her tomorrow."
…
Rachel didn't think it possible, but when Beth and Abby find out that Clara and Tomás will be there for Thanksgiving, they become tenser.
"What about your dads?" Abby asks.
"They will not be visiting," Rachel replies. "Ever."
"Oh."
"But you guys don't have to worry. Clara and Tomás are wonderful."
"Yeah, well, it's just they're sort like our grandparents?" Abby says. "And we've never really had that."
"Oh. Well, I'm not sure if that's exactly how I'd categorize them," Rachel replies. "At least not yet."
"Oh."
"It's just this is all new," Rachel explains. "And even though I'm pretty sure that they won't have issues with being categorized as grandparents, I don't know how comfortable San would be. Just because she's not entirely comfortable being called your parent. Not because she doesn't want to be," Rachel assures them. "It's more that she thinks of you guys as her sisters rather than her kids. If that makes sense."
"It does," Beth replies. "Don't worry. We know you guys love us."
Rachel looks relieved.
"It would be nice to have grandparents though," Beth continues.
"I'm sure it would," Rachel agrees. "I often felt the same way growing up."
"You don't have any?"
"Being the child of two gay men doesn't always mean their parents want to be involved in any aspect of their lives."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"So family Thanksgiving, right?" Abby says, wanting to break up the tension.
"It'll be nice, I'm sure," Rachel says.
…
There are days that Santana wishes she and Rachel were a little less successful, so they'd have a smaller apartment. Then her parents would have to stay in a hotel and not in the apartment. But since both she and Rachel do any work they have at the dining room table, there's still a guest room that her parents can stay in.
Suddenly the apartment feels very small.
"It's only four days, tiger," Rachel tells Santana Wednesday night as they crawl into bed. "And it'll be good for Beth and Abby."
"And you," Santana adds. "It's the only reason I'm okay with this."
"Which I greatly appreciate."
"You know I'd do anything for you, babe."
…
Rachel is up earlier than usual Thursday morning. She, Beth and Abby had managed to go to the store in between her Wednesday shows, so they have all the ingredients they need.
She's soon joined by Clara and they quietly go about preparing Thanksgiving dinner.
Rachel is surprised when Abby is the next to join them. She sits on the counter and tries to stay out of the way. Because she's being more quiet than usual, Rachel tries to draw Abby out and talk with Clara. Especially since she knows both Abby and Beth want to get to know Santana's parents better.
Clara brought up the topic of Beth and Abby earlier and Rachel did her best to explain the whole situation, but she's not sure how well she did. However, she knows Santana wants to leave the detail giving to her; which she understands, but doesn't like.
Of course, Clara and Tomás had already discussed the whole situation on their way out. Rachel's glad that they seem to be on the same page. It'll make the entire weekend go a lot smoother.
It helps that Abby seems quite taken with Clara and vice versa.
Tomás appears next, needing coffee Followed by Beth looking for the same. The others are looking around for Santana, though Rachel knows she's still in bed, working, hoping to get some things done so she can spend the weekend with her parents. Santana's ambition won't let her slack off, even on a holiday.
…
They eat mid afternoon because Rachel still has to perform later that night. Both Clara and Tomás also wanted to see Rachel's latest show. Beth and Abby want to go as well and since Santana will never turn down a chance to see Rachel perform, it becomes a family excursion. Though, Santana is loathe to call it that. Rachel takes delight in teasing her about it as she gets ready.
…
They spend the rest of the weekend, bonding. Rachel has taken the rest of the weekend off. They do a couple touristy things, but mostly it's Clara trying to get to know the girls. Tomás does as well, but he prefers to let his wife win them over. He prefers to sit back and watch; and occasionally tease his daughter.
Though when he teasingly calls Santana, mom, it actually takes Rachel restraining Santana to stop her from jumping up and losing her temper. She settles with a growl and a dirty look.
Fortunately, Tomás is still very used to Santana's sometimes extreme reactions and just chuckles.
…
Saturday night, after Beth and Abby have gone to bed, Tomás and Clara sit down with Rachel and Santana.
"They're great girls," Tomá starts.
Rachel nods. "Shelby did an amazing job."
"They seem to be doing well, considering," Clara says.
Rachel shrugs. "Slowly but surely."
"And you're sure you don't need any help," Clara presses.
"Such as?" Rachel asks.
"I'm not sure," Clara admits. "But you just had two teenagers dropped in your laps."
"It's an adjustment," Santana throws out. "But we're managing."
"But you two work so much," Clara protests.
Rachel nods. "True. But they're both responsible enough that we're not worried."
"You're sure?" Tomás asks. "Beth is at the perfect acting out age. Add to that, that her mother just died and she's living with a sister she just recently learnt about?"
"Yes, it is extremely complicated," Santana says. "We know. Which is why we're all in counseling. It's probably the thing that is saving us."
"Separate or together?" Tomás questions.
"Both."
"Good."
"Look, papa," Santana starts. "Rach and I both know how this seems. But we're dealing with it the best we can."
"And maybe we're horrible people," Rachel takes over. "But neither of us are willing to jeopardize our budding careers to be stay at home moms."
"You're not selfish, girls," Clara says. "Your father and I are just worried that you're taking on too much."
"We might be," Rachel admits. "But what else can we do?"
"I wish we knew," Tomás replies.
"If it makes you feel better," Santana volunteers. "Rach has a tracking device on both their cell phones; which we doubt they'd go anywhere without."
"What if they turn it off?" Clara asks.
"As long as they have the phone with them, we'll know where they are," Rachel assures them.
Tomás eyes Rachel for a moment before speaking. "I'm not sure if I should be impressed by your fore thought or be concerned about how devious that is."
"Why not both?" Santana asks.
Clara and Tomás exchange a look before Clara speaks. "Why do I think there's a lot more behind that statement than you're letting on?"
"Things have a way of working themselves out," Rachel replies.
"So we're just going to move on?"
Santana nods.
"All right," Clara says. "Then I suppose you should know that Abby and Beth both asked me separately if they could think of us as their grandparents."
"And you said?" Santana asks.
"That as long as you girls were okay with it, it was fine."
"Oh. Good."
"Good?"
"They've never really had grandparents," Rachel explains. "And so when they found out that you guys were visiting, they were quite excited."
"They're trying to reshape their family," Tomás comments.
Rachel nods. "It's what I think as well. And if you're okay with it, I'm all for embracing it."
"But they're never calling us mom," Santana interjects.
"I doubt that'll be a problem, tiger," Rachel says. "Calm down."
"I'm too young to be the mother of a fifteen year old," Santana retorts.
"Don't make me say it, San," Rachel replies.
"Yeah. Yeah."
Tomás barely holds back a chuckle.
Seeing this, Santana asks, "What time is your flight, tomorrow?"
"Ten."
"I'm glad you guys came out," Santana says.
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"So are we, honey," Clara replies.
"We do feel a little better about this whole situation," Tomás admits. "We were a bit worried, but you two seem to have it under control."
"We're managing," Rachel says.
…
Rachel decides to call Jake Sunday night. It goes to voicemail like usual and so, like usual, she leaves her dad a message.
"Hey dad, it's Rachel. I was hoping we could talk. Call me back when you have a bit of time. Thanks. Bye."
Her cell rings a half hour later as she sits at the dining room table with Santana. The pair are once again going over their finances to better include Beth and Abby, long term.
"Are you ready?" Santana asks.
"I have no idea," Rachel replies. "But I don't want to put it off any longer."
Santana grabs her hand and plans on holding it through the whole conversation. "Good luck, babe."
"Thanks." Rachel quickly answers, before it stops ringing. "Hi dad."
"Hello, sweetie," Jake replies. Sorry. We were eating dinner."
"It's no problem, dad."
"So what did you want to talk about?"
"It's not so much that, as I just wanted to let you know, that, uh, Shelby died."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Shelby Corcoran. My birth mother. She's, um, dead."
"Oh," Jake says eventually. "And you know that how?"
"She contacted me a couple years ago. We've, uh, been in touch ever since?"
"Oh really," Jake continues. "I'm surprised you've never mentioned it."
"I wasn't sure how," Rachel replies.
Jake sighs. "I suppose I can understand that."
"Thanks."
"What happened?"
"Cancer," Rachel replies.
"Oh. When?"
"Two months ago."
"Two months ago? And you're just telling me now… Why do I feel like there's something else?" Jake asks.
"What?"
"Well, for you to call me two months after," Jake says. "It would make sense for you to call me a week or two after, but after all this time… The only reason you would be telling me after two months is because it has some larger affect on your life. One that you think I and by extension your daddy, should know."
Rachel gulps.
"But for the life of me," Jake continues. "I can't quite figure out what that would be. I mean, I'm assuming Shelby didn't suddenly become filthy rich and leave you an inheritance. Although she owes you that and more for how she treated you your sophomore year."
Rachel barely refrains from pointing out Jake's lacking presence in her adolescence.
"In fact, as far as I remember, all she has is that baby girl she adopted from that cheerleader who was in glee with you… Oh. Rachel, honey, is there anything you want to tell me?"
Rachel sighs. "Yes, dad. Shelby left guardian ship of Beth to me."
Jake's silence goes on for so long that Rachel checks her cell multiple times to make sure he didn't hang up.
"And what was your, uh, wife's reaction to this?"
It wasn't the question she was expecting. Nor does she know exactly how to answer. "It's complicated," Rachel says finally.
"I see," Jake replies slowly, obviously unsure what else to say.
"Listen, dad," Rachel starts. "You don't have to say anything. It's fine. I just wanted you to know. I thought both you and daddy would want to know of Shelby's passing."
"Yes, well, thank you for that, I suppose."
"But there's nothing you need to do or anything, all right," Rachel tells him. "So you can stop struggling with what to say next. Okay?"
"Rachel, honey, if you need to talk--"
"Dad, really, I'm fine," Rachel assures him. "I probably shouldn't have called you."
"Rachel, sweetie, don't be like that--"
"Really, dad," Rachel continues. "I'm fine. It was nice talking to you. I should probably go. San and I are kind of busy at the moment."
"Rachel, I know you think I don't care, but I do," Jake tries. "I just don't know what my place in your life isn't anymore." Jake sighs. "It's largely my fault, I suppose. I just wish…" Jake is quiet for a moment. "Never mind. Thanks for calling and letting us know. I'll be sure to tell your daddy."
Rachel isn't quite sure what just happened. "Okay."
"Anyway. If you do want to talk, you can always call me, honey, okay?"
"Okay dad."
"Love you, baby."
"Love you too, dad."
"Well that was awkward," Santana says as Rachel sets down her phone.
"It went better than I expected," Rachel replies.
"I hate to think what you thought was going to happen then," Santana says. "Because I felt awkward just observing that conversation."
"Still, thanks."
"Course babe. Anything for you."
Part Three