fic: Ambitions Trilogy Part Two: I Can, Therefore I Am
Title: Ambitions Trilogy Part Two: I Can, Therefore I Am
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, OCs, Mike/OFC, Beth, Shelby, Puck, Brittany
Rating: R
Summary: 2021 to 2035 in Rachel and Santana's lives together.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Also, any real celebrities used are purely for entertainment. I know nothing about any of these people and am simply manipulating them for my own devices.
Word Count: ~9,000 (this part) / ~41,100 (total)
Spoilers: Previous parts of this series and season 1 of glee
A/N: Part two, finally. For helionwolfchild. Because even though she only posted one update of Talk Too Much instead of the promised two, it was still awesome. Plus, the initial motivation of the "deal" was enough to keep me on track with this fic. Title is a quote by Simone Weil.
2nd A/N: All real actors used were chosen because their age would match what it would be when this fic actually takes place. Also, once again, anything I didn't know (mostly anything related to lawyer-ing) was researched on the interweb, so I apologize if I've gotten things wrong.
3rd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
Part One: To Make an End is to Make a Beginning
Spring 2021
Santana is almost certain this is one of the best days of her life. Despite the fact that she proposed to Rachel for career minded reasons instead of romantic ones, Santana knows it was the right move.
She realizes how that sounds. However, she's not going to apologize. Santana plans on spending the rest of her life with Rachel; with or without a big ceremony. She kind of hates that she's sort of bowing down to popular opinion, but since people have been calling them an old married couple since high school, they might as well be one.
Currently she's leaning against a wall, a shit eating grin on her face, watching her wife try to match Mike Chang on the dance floor. God, Rachel's her wife. Santana really likes the sound of that.
Letting her eyes gloss over as she stares unabashedly at Rachel's legs as she twirls around the dance floor, Santana doesn't notice when Puck joins her, leaning against the same wall and staring at Rachel's legs.
"That is one how Jew," Puck mutters when Mike somehow manages to throw Rachel in the air and catch her.
"When did Chang get so fucking strong?" Santana mutters back.
"Seriously," Puck agrees. "Rach might be five foot nothing, but she's all muscle."
"Oh, I know."
"So do I get to call you Santana Berry now?" Puck teases. "Am I going to receive Chanukah cards from Mrs. and Mrs. Rachel Berry?"
Santana elbows Puck. "Shut up. She's taking my name."
"What? That doesn't--"
"Oh she'll still be Rachel Berry, Broadway star," Santana replies. "But everywhere else, she'll be Rachel Lopez."
"Seriously?"
"I am. Don't sound so surprised," Santana snaps.
"It's just, I don't know," Puck says. "I mean, she has you wrapped around her little finger."
"She does not!"
"That, and I would have thought for sure she'd demand you become a Berry."
"Well she didn't," Santana says. "In fact, it was her idea to change her name."
"Yeah?"
Brittany has now joined Rachel and Mike on the dance floor. Both Santana and Puck find themselves memorized by the grinding session Brittany has pulled Rachel into.
"Damn…"
"I know," Santana agrees.
"Is it wrong that Rachel being married now makes that even hotter than it would have been yesterday?"
"Probably," Santana replies. "But I totally agree."
"Only because you're going to spend three straight days alone with that woman naked." Puck sounds a bit envious to Santana.
Santana snickers at the word straight. "We're both too busy for a real honeymoon," Santana points out. "A three day weekend in a five star hotel seems like a good compromise."
And then Brittany flips Rachel, leaving both speechless and staring.
…
"I'm going to get going sweetie," Jake tells Rachel.
Rachel jumps up and hugs her dad. "Thanks for coming."
"Did you really think I was going to miss my daughter's wedding?" Jake asks her.
"Daddy did," Rachel points out.
"Yes, well, that might be true, but--"
"Dad," Rachel interrupts. "It's fine. I shouldn't have said that--"
"Rachel--"
"This is a happy day. I don't want to ruin it."
"Right. Of course. Neither do I," Jake agrees. He engulfs Rachel in another hug. "You were the most beautiful bride I've ever seen."
"Thank you for walking me down the aisle."
"Thank you for letting me."
"Call me when you get home tomorrow?" Rachel asks.
Jake nods. "I love you."
"I love you too, dad."
…
Santana is enjoying a moment of peace and sipping wine when Felix literally drags her into the men's room.
"What the fuck?"
"I wanted to talk to you," Felix replies.
"And tapping me on the shoulder and asking politely never occurred to you?" Santana snaps.
"Yeah, well, I get a bit more forceful when I've been drinking," he explains.
"And the men's room? Really?"
"Privacy."
Santana sighs. An apparently serious conversation with her brother in the handicap stall of the men's room isn't something she imagined happening tonight, well, ever really. She crosses her arms and waits.
"I meant everything I said in my toast you know," Felix starts.
Santana nods. "I know."
"But I wanted to say more. To you specifically."
"Because you've been married for years already?" Santana asks. "I appreciate the thought, but Rachel and I have been together, for, well, forever, really."
"Except for the six year break in the middle?"
"Shut up."
"I'm just kinda concerned," Felix says. "I mean, you told me yourself, the real reason you proposed is because it's better for your career to be married."
"Yeah. So? That doesn't mean I don't love Rachel. Nor does it mean I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her."
"Does she know that?" Felix asks.
"Of course she does," Santana replies. "Why wouldn't she?"
"I…"
"I mean, she's changing her name for fuck's sake," Santana continues.
"She mentioned that," Felix says.
"And yet, you're still concerned."
"I am." Felix nods. "That woman would do anything for you. And I'm just worried you don't see that."
"Are you calling me insensitive?"
"Not exactly," Felix hedges. "Busy, is more like it."
"We're both busy, Felix," Santana replies. "We're both trying to get our rather ambitious careers off the ground."
"That's what I'm worried about," Felix says. "That your chaotic lives are going to drive you guys to take each other for granted."
"It hasn't yet," Santana points out.
"Don't let it," Felix replies. "The two of you are so great together. You bring out the best in each other."
"And the worst," Santana mutters.
"Yeah," Felix agrees. "But I still think more good than bad happens."
"Me too."
"I just worry about you, San."
"I worry about you too, Felix," Santana replies. "I think that's how it's supposed to be."
"Ha ha."
"Can we please get out of the damn men's room now?" Santana asks. "I'd like to find my bride and begin our honeymoon."
"Sure thing, sis."
…
“Rachel, sweetie,” Clara says, approaching Rachel. “We’re going to take off.” She embraces Rachel tightly. “I’m so glad you’re part of our family.”
“Thank you, Clara,” Rachel replies, returning the hug. “I am too.”
“You’re a beautiful bride,” Tomás adds as he hugs Rachel. “And possibly, my favorite daughter, now.”
Rachel chuckles. “I’ll be sure to tell her you said that.”
“Good,” Tomás grins.
“Your dad already left?” Clara asks.
“Yes,” Rachel replies. “He has an early flight back to Lima, so he went back to sleep, I’m sure.”
“You know, if you ever feel you need some parental advice, we’re willing to listen,” Clara tells her.
“Yes,” Tomás agrees. “You’re family now. And so we’ll be expecting weekly calls and such from you, just as we do from Santana.”
“As if I don’t already do that,” Rachel says.
“Well, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t see this as an opportunity to slack off, young lady.”
“I’m not sure I even know the meaning of those words, dad.”
Tomás smirks. “Good.”
Tomás pulls Rachel into another hug. “For the record, your father is being an idiot. You and Santana’s turbulent past doesn’t mean you won’t have an amazing future together.”
“Yes, well, we’re a stubborn bunch,” Rachel says, trying not to blush. “Hopefully daddy will change his mind once he realizes how serious and real our relationship is.”
“Hopefully.”
“It’ll all work out, honey,” Clara says as she hugs Rachel one more time.
“Thanks for being here,” Rachel says.
“As if we’d anywhere else,” she replies. “Enjoy your honeymoon.”
Rachel blushes and waves as she watches them exit.
…
Just as Santana steps out of the men's room, she is suddenly yanked into the ladies' room.
"What the fu--"
Santana is cut off when she's wrapped up in a bear hug from Brittany.
"Congrats, San!" Brittany exclaims. "You're married. To Rachel."
"Thanks, B," Santana smiles. "I know. It's pretty awesome, right?"
Letting go, Brittany nods. "Except…"
"Except what, Britt?"
"I'm worried."
"Already? We've only been married…" Santana realizes, she's not sure what time it is. "A few hours."
"I don't want Rachy to break your heart," Brittany explains.
"What?"
"Try not to be so obstinate all the time, San," Brittany continues. "You guys are legendary fighters. Don't let it ruin things."
"Brittany, we just got married and you're already talking about us being over," Santana points out. "How is that supposed to make me feel?"
"It's to help you remember what's important. I know you guys. Just… never go to bed angry, okay?"
"Now you sound like Rachel," Santana says.
"Cause I'm not sure if you'd recover."
"Me? What about Rach? You don't think she'd be devastated?"
Brittany nods. "Of course she will be. But I know you. You'll try to pretend you're fine and you'll push everyone away and become a workaholic and you'll become old and bitter and you won't even get a cat to keep you company because you don't like 'em."
"I'm not really a cat person, Britt," Santana agrees. "But thanks."
"What for?"
"Everyone's so worried I'm going to break Rach's heart," Santana explains. "Am I so closed off that no one sees how much I love that woman?"
"It's not their fault," Brittany replies. "You're just too good at that tough gal image."
"I think I should be more insulted that everyone's talking like we're going to end. Rachel and I have been in love for almost half our lives."
"What about--"
"Even during the break," Santana finishes.
Brittany shrugs. "I just wanted you to know you can talk to me. About marital stuff. So you guys treat each other right."
"Britt," Santana says. "You damn well know that I will be spending the rest of my life with that woman. No matter what happens. I know this, more than I know anything else."
"Good." Brittany hugs Santana again. "Then I won't have to worry."
…
Exhausted, Rachel is enjoying a moment of quiet. Mike is seated next to her gulping down water. They've been dancing quite a bit and she understands his dehydration.
"So was it everything you wanted it to be?" Mike asks.
"I married the woman I loved," Rachel replies. "Everything else was simply a bonus."
"You ever tell S you asked her parents for their blessing?"
"Shhh," Rachel hisses, looking around. "No. And if I have my way, she'll never find out."
"I think it's sweet," Mike insists.
"Well, I'm pretty sure it'll weird her out," Rachel replies. "Especially if she finds out that breaking up for college and getting back together after was part of my life plan."
"I never understood that," Mike says. "That's was a ridiculous gamble, in my opinion. I mean, what if she'd found someone else? I mean, I know you guys belong together, but she could have refused you because you were the one that ended it."
Rachel sighs. "I know. I'll admit I was rather naive and seriously lucky. Everyone once in a while, I still can't believe it all worked out. Especially since things didn't go exactly as I planned."
"Oh?"
Rachel nods. "Yes. I had hoped we'd find each other after graduating," Rachel explains. "With my doing tons of auditions and working I figured I'd run into her that first year after college. I mean, I knew she wanted to go to Columbia and that she had to have an internship. Plus, you know what they say, New York is the biggest and smallest city ever because you always run into people you'd rather not."
"Does that mean you don't run into people you do want to?" Mike teases.
"Apparently. Since it took us over six years to find each other instead of the four that I planned on," Rachel says. She looks around, making sure no one will overhear them, even though almost everyone is either too drunk or have already left. "And if we hadn't found each other when we did, I would have sought her out."
"When?"
"According to my timeline, one more year."
"So you would have just started roaming the city for her?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Rachel says, as she slaps Mike on the arm. "I would have called Clara or Tomás and asked."
"And you really think they would have told you?"
Rachel shrugs. "I'm pretty sure. Thankfully, I didn't have to, though."
"You're one lucky bitch," Mike tells her.
"You know it, Mikey."
Noah plops down next to her, letting his arm fall around her shoulders.
"Bro. Chang."
Mike raises an eyebrow, but just nods.
"I can't believe you're fucking married," Noah continues.
"It's not like I'm the first," Rachel points out.
"True," Noah agrees. "But you're different. Special."
"I know."
"Even with you two together all that time at McKinley," Noah says. "I never pictured the two of you married."
"I'll admit it doesn't fit with my original plan," Rachel agrees. "But I think this is better."
"And you're changing your name."
Rachel nods.
"I'm still calling you Berry," Noah says. "Calling you Lopez would just be too weird."
"You could call me Rachel," she tells him. "I also respond to that."
Mike chuckles.
"Sorry. Guess I'm just surprised."
"I know," Rachel says. "I'm sure everyone is. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm still too big of an ego maniac to even consider changing my name."
"People don't think that," Mike interrupts.
"That's not what I mean, Rach," Noah says.
"Is it so unbelievable that I love my wife and I want to take her name?" Rachel asks.
"Of course not," Mike says.
"I didn't think either of you would change your name," Noah adds. "Maybe that's why it took me by surprise."
"Rach," Mike says. "We talked about this. You knew you'd be having similar conversations. Remember? Puck isn't trying to be mean. He's just trying to understand."
"Exactly," Noah agrees. However, Rachel can see the jealousy raging in his eyes.
Rachel knows that Noah is a bit resentful of Mike, though he'd never admit it. Noah will always be one of her best friends, but because Mike actually lives in the same city, Rachel's come to rely on him quite a bit. He's the one Rachel turns to when she can't go to Santana.
"You're right, of course," Rachel says. "I think I'm letting all the champagne go to my head."
They lapse into silence for a few minutes until Santana struts over to claim her wife.
Autumn 2021
Rachel spends eight shows a week being devastated about her brother’s fight with Leukemia, while also dealing with her father's worsening Alzheimer's. It's intense and emotionally draining, but she enjoys every tear, every impassioned plea, every devastating moment.
Santana is there opening night and though she wants to support Rachel, knows she'll never be seeing this show again; it's just too much for her. And seeing Rachel so heartbroken is almost painful.
Rachel is a little bit in awe of the reaction her performance brought out in her wife.
The intensity of the role helps her become good friends with Jonathan, the actor who plays James, her older brother. He occasionally tells her that she breaks his heart every night.
It's because of this that Jonathan helps Rachel get an audition for the role of Margaret Jerome, a single mother in the four part miniseries, The General Store. It takes place in 1923. Pregnant at 16, Margaret was thrown out by her parents. However, when they're killed in a car accident seven years later, Margaret returns home to help run the family business. Her brother Greg lost a leg in the war and can't do it by himself.
She's in LA for six weeks and it's the first time she and Santana have been apart since getting back together. It's agony. Rachel is actually glad how emotionally exhausting her role is. It's distracting enough that the six weeks fly by.
It's a bit more difficult for Santana. When Rachel's doing a show, their schedules keep them apart. But there's something about knowing that Rachel is at home when she's at work or falling asleep at night, knowing that Rachel will be slipping into bed next to her soon that makes it all okay. Instead, knowing that Rachel is on the other side of the country, makes Santana feel rather lonely. And that includes the time that they once went for eight days without seeing each other.
To compensate, they communicate constantly, whether it's texting or talking. Occasionally Santana will try to initiate some sexting, but Rachel refuses to do that while on set. It makes Santana curse the time difference, more than once. The compromise is early morning phone sex that makes Santana late to the office more than once.
What also helps Santana survive the separation is focusing on the parallels between Margaret and a certain former Cheerio. She spends every day from the moment Rachel tells her the plot to the night it premiers teasing Rachel about playing Quinn Fabray.
To which Rachel replies since Quinn didn't keep Beth and her kid on the show is a boy, it hardly counts.
Unfortunately by this time, Santana is laughing too hard and the conversation is doomed.
…
About two weeks after Rachel returns from LA, Santana is given a promotion. Her work in the Forensic Sciences/Cold Case department has apparently been quite impressive. Though she's still considered a junior attorney, she's to start immediately in the Vehicular Crimes Unit.
…
Rachel is possibly more excited than Santana is. The shout of joy that Rachel lets out when Santana tells her over the phone actually momentarily deafens her and she has to switch ears.
"We're going out to celebrate, tonight," Rachel tells her. "I'm so proud of you, tiger."
Santana can only smile. She's feeling pretty proud herself, especially since she's a whole year ahead of career plan. But Rachel's pride and enthusiasm makes her feel like she could conquer anything the world throws at her.
They have dinner at their favorite little bistro just a block away from their apartment. They sit so closer, Rachel is practically in Santana's lap; not that she's complaining. Though, Rachel is uncharacteristically quiet while they wait for their food.
"What?" Santana asks after five minutes of Rachel's unabashed staring.
"Nothing," Rachel replies. "I'm just so proud of you."
"You're not disappointed?"
"Why would I be disappointed?" Rachel asks.
"I mean, I know this wasn't what you pictured all those years ago when I said I wanted to go to law school."
"So?" Rachel questions. "It's what you want. And you're obviously amazing at it. Plus you're really hot in your power suits."
"Yeah?"
"Oh yeah," Rachel agrees. "I am a bit curious about what department you want to end up in, though. You've never said."
"Actually my goal is to become the District Attorney," Santana replies.
"The DA? That's an elected position," Rachel points out. "You don't think being an out lesbian might make that difficult?"
"Come on, Rach, it's 2021. And I won't even be eligible for at least ten years."
"Political office is different and you know it."
"Not if my wife is an award winning Broadway darling," Santana says. "Who New York City loves and is working her way towards an EGOT?"
"San…"
"Tell me, I'm wrong," Santana replies.
"Well, I am very loveable," Rachel agrees. "And people do seem to love you in court."
"I just need to help send away the leader of a child pornography ring or something," Santana says. "Then I'll be a hero of the people."
"Human trafficking would also work," Rachel adds.
Winter 2021
About once a month, Santana and Rachel have dinner with Kelly and Ryan Driers. Santana still talks to Ryan, though they're both so busy, they rarely have time to hang out. Santana knows Kelly and Rachel occasionally have lunch, when their schedules allow.
But when Rachel suggests they make dinner a more regular thing, Santana agrees. Without them, she would have never run into Rachel again. Ryan inviting her to his party all those years ago was the best thing that ever happened to Santana.
Summer 2022
The day they announce the Emmy nominations, Rachel dances around the living room.
"And you thought I was crazy to do it," she tells Santana. "And now I'm nominated for an Emmy."
"Yeah. Yeah."
"Suck it Lopez," Rachel crows. "I've been nominated for an Emmy."
"You're making it very difficult to be happy for you right now, babe."
"You love me," Rachel coos. "Besides, wait until I'm nominated for a Tony. That'll be some celebrating."
"Congrats babe," Santana replies. "I'm proud of you."
"I suppose you have to go to work," Rachel says. "No time for some celebratory sex?"
"Afraid not," Santana tells her. "But tonight you're mine."
Rachel just smirks as she continues her victory dance.
Autumn 2022
The night of the Emmys Rachel is amazingly calm. She and Santana fly to Los Angeles for the event and will be taking the red eye back since Santana has to work in the morning. Santana had tried to convince Rachel to go alone and take Brittany who's living in LA or even Kurt, who's also there.
"You guys are almost friends now," Santana tells her.
"You're going," Rachel replies. "It's my first awards ceremony. Even though I'm not going to win, I want you there. There's going to be a lot more of these in the future. I want to lose my awards ceremony virginity with you."
"Sexual innuendo isn't going to work this time."
"What about sexual favors then?"
Which is why Santana's currently walking down the red carpet, fingers intertwined with Rachel's. She's trying not to let the numerous camera flashes blind her, which Santana didn't think would be possible with the sun still out, but nonetheless, she's seeing spots.
What surprises Santana is how Rachel never lets herself get pulled away. For all three short interviews, Santana is firmly by her wife's side and at one point, gets introduced as an ADA. There's real pride in Rachel's voice for Santana and all she can think is how fucking awesome Rachel is.
Knowing Rachel as well as she does, Santana has always been afraid of how their career dynamic is going to work out in relation to their marriage. She's spent many hours debating it with Brittany, not quite believing the blonde's claims that she needs to stop over thinking. Brittany's told her over and over to trust Rachel and simply see what happens.
She can admit that it's part of the reason she was reluctant to come with Rachel. The other part is that she'll be running on five hours of shitty airplane sleep. Thankfully, she doesn't have to be in court.
However, settling into her seat next to a still oddly calm, but still clearly excited Rachel, Santana knows there's nowhere else she'd rather be. And the fact that Rachel only wanted to share this experience with her tells Santana that maybe she should have listened to Brittany and not stress so much.
"What?" Rachel asks after Santana's been staring at her for a few minutes.
"I'm glad I'm here is all. I love you when you're this giddy."
"Thank you for coming with," Rachel replies. "I know tomorrow's going to suck for you. But I can't imagine being here with anyone else."
"I'm proud of you, babe," Santana says. "Did you write a speech?"
"I'm not going to win," Rachel tells her. "I mean, look at the competition. I just want to relax and enjoy the experience of my first award show."
"Is that why you're so relaxed?" Santana asks.
Rachel nods. "Knowing I don't stand a chance means I have nothing to fret over. Besides, just being nominated is great for me. It gets my name out there. Having an Emmy nomination should help me with auditions."
"When did you get so pragmatic?" Santana muses.
The dimming of the house lights stops Rachel from answering.
Rachel's category is near the end, so they have a lot to sit through a lot of speeches. Santana finds herself critiquing them and imagining what Rachel would say if she won. Despite the fact that Santana knows Rachel still practices her acceptance speeches, Santana's never heard her. She wonders if Rachel thinks she'll make fun of her.
And then Rachel's category is up, Best Supporting Actress in a miniseries. Santana watches as Alison Brie and Kal Penn walk on stage. As the names are read, Rachel clutches Santana's hand, smiling slightly for the camera.
"And the Emmy goes to…" Kal Penn says as Alison Brie fumbles with the envelope.
Once it's finally open, Alison Brie leans closer to the mic, "Rachel Berry for The General Store."
It takes Santana pushing Rachel towards the stage for the fact that she won to register. She can see it in her wife's face; the stunned happiness is just too adorable.
Rachel accepts the stature and stands in front of the mic looking a bit lost.
"So believe it or not, I didn't prepare a speech. I honestly didn't think I'd actually win. I mean, look at the amazing women I was nominated with. I really didn't think I stood a chance. A big thanks to everyone on The General Store. It was a great cast and crew and I feel privileged to have worked with them. A special thanks to Will James the casting director for giving me a chance. And of course, a heartfelt thanks and I love you to my wife, Santana for being so incredible. I wouldn't be up here without your love and support."
Rachel gives a slight curtsey as the music starts and then follows Alison Brie and Kal Penn off stage.
Santana knows there's a lot of press to deal with and so she tries to keep the stupid grin off her face, but she's not sure if she's successful. When Rachel finally does return, Santana feels an odd swell of pride as she greets her with a kiss. They don't say anything, but Santana doesn't feel they have to. She just knows that this moment is worth every tired moment she'll experience tomorrow.
Winter 2022
Rachel's first role on Broadway is Laurey Williams in Oklahoma!. Though she'd always hoped her natural talent would shine through, Rachel's pretty sure her recent Emmy win helped a lot. Still, she's not complaining. It's one more piece of her life plan falling into place.
Winter 2023
Rachel is leaving after a show one Thursday night when she's approached for an autograph. It's not a common occurrence, but since the Emmy win, she's gained a fan or two.
She accepts the pen and paper and looks up at her admirer, who is barely taller than her. Rachel usually asks who she should make it out to, but the words die in her throat.
"Hi Rachel."
"Shelby."
The woman cringes slightly, but doesn't try to correct her. Oddly Rachel finds herself more open to a conversation after seeing this reaction.
"I was hoping we could talk."
Rachel looks at her watch. "What about Beth?"
"Babysitter."
"Fine," Rachel sighs. "There's a coffee shop I like, just down the street."
…
Once they're settled in a back corner, Rachel sips her tea and waits for Shelby to begin. Just because she may be more open to listening, doesn't mean she's going to make it easy for her.
"You look amazing," Shelby says finally. "All grown up. I can hardly believe it."
"Yes, well, a decade will do that to a person."
"Believe it or not, I've been trying to find you for years."
"You obviously weren't trying very hard," Rachel retorts. I've been here for almost ten years."
"I didn't want to bother you while you were in school," Shelby explains. "And then it took some effort to find someone who could confirm you were still here."
"You could have called my dads," Rachel says.
"I finally did," Shelby admits. "They could only give me your cell number, but I didn't want to go that route."
"Oh."
"Why don't they have more information?" Shelby asks. "That's been bothering me ever since."
"We had a small falling out my junior year," Rachel explains. "We were never really the same after that."
"About what?"
"My choice of romantic interest."
"Please tell me it wasn't Noah Puckerman."
"Not quite," Rachel replies. "So what? You bided your time and then once my name was out for the Emmy, you found me?"
"Not exactly," Shelby says. "Once you won, it was easier to find information on you. Once I found out what show you were working on, it was just a matter of working up the courage to approach you."
"And here we are."
"I know how completely out of line it is for me to expect you to let me into your life again, but I'd really like the chance to reconnect. This time for real."
"You're serious?"
Shelby nods.
"What? I'm becoming well known and suddenly you want back into my life?" Rachel asks. "How do you really expect me to interpret that?"
"Disbelief and veiled hurt," Shelby replies. "I know I'm at least one for two."
Rachel scoffs.
"So all I ask is that you listen to me and give what I’m about to say real consideration," Shelby continues. "If after all that, you still don't want me in your life, I will accept that and never bother you again."
Rachel eyes her for a moment and can't deny the sincerity that seems to be pouring from her. Finally she nods.
"Thank you. I know I have no right to expect you to forgive me. The connection we have is complicated at best. I can only hope now, some years later, you might understand why I reacted the way I did. I realize my actions were selfish and hurtful and for that I am truly sorry. I'm under no illusion that you'd ever think of me as your mother again, but friends might be all right. And I'd love for you to get to know Beth. She is your sister. We wouldn't have to tell her if you didn't want to," Shelby adds hastily. "I just thought it'd be nice to have that bond. Being an only child can be lonely."
"You're an only child too?"
"Well, no," Shelby replies. "I was though. There's an eighteen year difference between me and my younger brother."
"Oh."
"And I realize you're all grown up now, but a sibling is a sibling. I should know."
Rachel half nods as she spills her cup of tea on the table.
"I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You're an amazing human being Rachel," Shelby says. "I just wish I'd had more to do with it. And I'm going to leave now and let you think. Here's my number." She sets a business card on the table. "I hope you'll use it." She stands. "By the way, honey, you were incredible tonight. Truly. Your acting is as good as your singing." She reaches out to touch Rachel, but catches herself. She smiles weakly as she lets her hand drop. She nods and turns, walking out, but leaving her coffee behind.
Rachel stares after her.
…
Rachel is late. Santana glances at the clock for the fourth time in ten minutes. She racks her brain trying to remember if Rachel had plans after her show, but nothing comes to mind. Tired of waiting, Santana looks for her phone.
Finding it in the kitchen, she picks it up, just as it rings.
"Hey babe, where the hell are you?"
"San?" Rachel's voice is quiet and sounds very young.
"Rach, what's wrong?"
"I need you to come get me," Rachel replies.
"What?"
"I really need you to come find me and walk me home. Please."
"Of course," Santana replies. "Where are you?"
"My favorite place by the theater?"
Santana nods as she begins searching for some shoes. "I know where it is. I'll be there as fast as I can."
" 'Kay."
Santana stares at her cell phone. Her panic level is growing exponentially and she quickly dashes out of the apartment.
…
Rachel is sure how long she's been sitting there since Shelby left, but she can't move. Besides, Santana is on her way and if Rachel leaves before she gets here, she'll have a very worried and pissed off wife.
The door burst open and Santana is suddenly in front of her.
"Rach," Santana says, kneeling in front of her. "What's wrong?"
"Can you just help me home?" Rachel manages. "I'll explain then, I promise."
"Course. Anything you want," Santana replies, helping Rachel stand. "But you're all right?"
"Physically, perhaps," Rachel tells her. "But mentally, I have no idea."
Worried, Santana helps her stand and the link arms before exiting.
…
The next day, Santana is having difficulties concentrating. Rachel refused to talk about it when they arrived home, saying she didn't want to keep Santana up too late. Instead, she suggested lunch since Santana has a light Thursday.
Knowing Rachel won't budge on this, Santana reluctantly agrees. Despite Rachel's efforts, Santana is tired and unable to focus. She fell into a fitful sleep the night before, her mind creating crazy scenarios that would account for Rachel's behavior. And now she's counting down the minutes to lunch, praying an emergency doesn't come up.
Thankfully, Santana is able to leave her office at exactly 11:20 to meet Rachel at 11:30. They meet at a little deli three blocks away. They’ve been going there for years and are mostly left alone. With Rachel’s recent Emmy win, a lot more people have been approaching her.
Rachel is already there, with two sandwiches and two bottles of water in front of her.
“Thanks, babe,” Santana says, sitting. She leans in for a kiss. “So? Talk.”
Rachel shakes her head, a small smile on her face. “Last night, Shelby approached me after the show.”
Santana raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything.
“She wanted to talk. She said she’s been trying to get in contact with me for a few months now.”
“Oh?”
“She wants a relationship again,” Rachel continues. “She said that Beth is technically my sister and family is important. Probably because she found out daddy and I aren’t on the best terms.”
Santana chews faster. Rachel’s relationship with her fathers is touchy and volatile subject. And now is definitely not the time to start an argument.
“I may have over reacted last night,” Rachel says. “But I really never expected to see her again. And now… She claims she doesn’t want to be my mother, just a friend.”
“Do you believe her?” Santana asks.
“I believe she believes it,” Rachel counters. “She meant it when she said it. I just worry that as the years pass, she’ll forget again.”
“Would that be so bad?” Santana questions. “I mean, you really wanted a mom back in high school. I know it didn’t turn out the way you wanted, but maybe after all these years…”
“I have a family. Your mom has been amazing and Felix treats me like a little sister and your dad… Plus, dad is still talking to me.”
“Rachel.”
“I’m just not certain I can trust her again after high school. I know it was over a decade ago, but I just can’t. She sought me out. I was just fine. I was curious, sure, but I didn’t need her. For her to send Jesse so he could coerce me into seeking her out, rejecting me and then adopting Beth? It took years, but I understand why everything happened the way it did. But that doesn’t mean I forgive her. I spent too many years forgiving people for treating me like shit. You helped me realize that I don’t have to.” Rachel stops Santana from eating as she grabs her hand. “It’s one of the most amazing things anyone has done for me.”
Santana blushes slightly as she smiles.
“But unfortunately for her, I will never be able to see Shelby as my mother.”
“Does that mean you’re not going to call her?” Santana asks.
“I don’t know.” Rachel takes several bits of her sandwich, before asking, “What do you think I should do?”
“I’ll be damned if I know,” Santana replies. “I’m not sure I’m even remotely qualified to answer that.”
“You’re my wife,” Rachel tells her. “You’re completely qualified.”
“Well, honestly? I think you should call her. She’s kind of right about Beth being your sister. And I know how weird that sounds. But it could be good for both of you. I mean, if nothing else, you can bond over your similar situations.”
“I suppose that’s true. But the fact that she’s… Noah’s… and Quinn’s… Still always kind of sticks in my head.”
“I know,” Santana says. “Me too. But it’s not her fault.”
Rachel chuckles. “I suppose not.”
They quickly finish their lunches when the realize Santana has to be back in her office in fifteen minutes.
“I hope you realize that you’re coming with,” Rachel says as they stand.
“What?”
“I’m not doing this alone. You’re coming with, to help me bond with Noah’s daughter.”
“It might help if you stop referring to her like that,” Santana points out.
“Do you think I should tell Noah, about all this?” Rachel questions.
“Eventually sure,” Santana replies. “But at least wait and see how things go.”
Exiting, they link hands as Rachel walks Santana back to her office.
“What about Quinn?” Rachel asks.
“What about her?” Santana counters. “Britt’s the one that still talks to her. Not me. I’ll probably mention it sooner or later during a phone call and she’ll use her discretion about telling Q, I’m sure.”
“Does it make me a bad friend that I’m still shocked that she’s an extremely successful Financial Analyst?”
“Well, then I must be a bad friend too,” Santana replies. “Because I feel the same way.”
“Thanks,” Rachel says once they’re in front of Santana’s office. “I know I was a bit melodramatic last night. I guess I haven't completely left that behind."
"You're an actress, babe," Santana replies. "Isn't that like mandatory?"
"Quiet you."
"And you weren't over reacting last night," Santana tells her. "Parents are… complicated. Especially yours."
"Thank god for yours, then, huh?"
"It's not fair that they still like you better," Santana grumbles before leaning in for a good bye kiss. "You'll be okay?"
Rachel nods. "I need to do some more thinking, but yes, I will be."
…
It takes Rachel three days to decide to call Shelby back and five more days to build up the courage to make the call.
It's Saturday, so she has a matinee, for which she's glad for. Just because she's okay with this, doesn't mean she wants to see Shelby today. She thinks she needs a few more days to mentally prepare.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Shelby, it's Rachel."
"Rachel, hello, it's lovely to hear from you." There's an uncomfortable pause before Shelby continues, "I wasn't sure if you'd call or not."
"I wasn't sure, either," Rachel replies.
"Well, I'm glad that you did." There's another awkward pause that Shelby quickly jumps on. "Maybe you'd want to come over for dinner?"
"I have shows in the evening," Rachel points out.
"Not Mondays," Shelby counters. "Maybe you could come over Monday night. And bring Santana, of course."
"I… I'll have to check with her first. Can you hold on just a moment?"
"Of course."
Rachel leaves her phone in the kitchen as she seeks out her wife. Santana is in front of the TV, but she doesn't seem to be paying too much attention.
"Hey San?"
"Yeah babe?"
"What's your week look like this week?"
Santana pulls out her cell and goes through her schedule for the week. "It looks pretty light. Why?"
"Um, well, I called Shelby."
"Oh."
"And she suggested dinner at her place Monday night," Rachel continues. "And I absolute cannot go over there without you."
"Of course not, Rach," Santana assures her, jumping off the couch and pulling her into a hug. "No worries. I'll be able to go with you Monday night."
"Okay. I better go tell Shelby."
Rachel walks back into the kitchen and grabs her phone off the table.
"Shelby?"
"I'm still here, Rachel."
"I'm sorry. It took me a moment to find Santana. But we'll both be there Monday night. What time?"
"How about seven? I'll text you the address."
"Okay. Would you like us to bring anything?"
"Just yourselves is fine," Shelby assures her.
"Very well, I'll see you Monday night."
"See you Monday night."
…
Monday, Santana comes home to find Rachel pacing the apartment. Her wife doesn't notice her immediately and Santana is content to watch her walk from the kitchen to the living room to their bedroom and then back into the kitchen. After the third lap, Santana grabs Rachel as she heads towards the kitchen.
"Oh, hello," Rachel greets.
"How long have you been pacing?"
"I don't know. An hour?"
"Seriously?"
"It's almost like exercise," Rachel tries.
"I guess." Santana holds up a narrow paper bag. "Wine as you requested."
"Thanks." Rachel takes the bag and pulls the bottle out to examine it. "I just don't feel right going over there empty handed."
"Yeah, Miss Manners would probably kick you out of the club."
"Proper etiquette is important," Rachel insists. "Especially when you're about to have dinner with one's birth mother who rejected me and then adopted my friend's daughter instead. I feel like I'm about to enter a soap opera."
"It is rather ridiculous," Santana agrees. "I always wondered if all that meant you were destined to be a melodramatic actress."
"What? I knew on a subconscious level when I was young that my teen years would be traumatic?"
Santana shrugs. "Maybe."
"Now you're being ridiculous," Rachel tells her. "Go change so we can go. You know how I hate to be late."
"Yes my darling wife." Santana smirks and high tails it into the bedroom, but not before Rachel slaps her on the ass.
…
Santana has to carry the wine because Rachel's hands are shaking. They're in the elevator and Santana is a bit concerned that Rachel's having some sort of panic attack.
"Babe," Santana says once they're off the elevator. "We don't have to do this. I'm sure Shelby will understand if you want to reschedule for next week."
"It's 6:55," Rachel replies. "That is not enough notice. The only acceptable reason to cancel now would be some sort of emergency."
"Well, you're scaring the shit out of me," Santana tells her. "If you faint, I'd consider that an emergency."
"Me fainting is at best, melodramatic; certainly not an emergency."
"Okay then. I need you to take some deep breaths and calm down, then."
Rachel nods and does so. Santana counts out ten breaths and Rachel does look a bit calmer.
"If it helps," Santana says as they reach apartment 8C. "I'm sure Shelby's just as nervous."
Rachel nods absently. "I think it might." She takes a few more deep breaths. "Okay. I'm ready."
Santana nods in reply and knocks on the door.
A few moments later the door swings open to reveal a blonde teenager who's a perfect mix of Quinn and Puck.
"Uh, hi," she greets. "I'm Beth. Rachel and Santana?"
Rachel nods.
"Well, come on in. Mom's in the kitchen." She ushers them inside.
"Holy shit," Santana whispers to Rachel as they follow Beth through the apartment.
"I know," Rachel whispers back.
In the kitchen, they find Shelby and another teenage girl.
"Mom, they're here."
Shelby turns with a wide grin on her face. "Hello. Rachel. Santana."
"We brought wine," Rachel offers as Santana holds up the bottle.
"You didn't have to."
"Rachel refuses to show up anywhere empty handed," Santana jokes.
"Well, I appreciate it." Shelby wipes her hands on a towel. "So you've technically already met Beth. And this is my niece, Abby."
"Hi," Abby waves.
Rachel's a bit relieved. Abby, like Rachel herself, looks a lot like Shelby. And if she thought Shelby went and had herself another kid, Rachel'll would have run out the door without another word, manners be damned.
"Santana."
"I'm Rachel."
Abby smirks. "We know who you are. We watch all the award shows."
"Oh. Yes. That." Rachel blushes slightly.
"How about we sit down to dinner?" Shelby suggests.
Beth leads everyone into a dining room. Rachel and Santana wait for the others to sit and then take the two empty seats.
"So how's your show going Rachel?" Shelby asks.
"Just fine," Rachel answers. "Oklahoma! is one of the shows I always dreamed of being in."
"Well you do an amazing job," Shelby replies. "And what do you do, Santana?"
"I'm an ADA," Santana answers.
"Oh?"
"For the Vehicular Crime Unit."
"That sounds… exciting."
"Not really," Santana shrugs. "But you have to start somewhere."
"So, uh, Beth, what grade are you in?" Rachel asks.
"Eighth."
"Oh. Looking forward to high school?"
Beth shrugs. "Kinda. I don't know. Some people tell me it's going to be the worst thing ever and then other people tell me it's super awesome."
Rachel and Santana share a look.
"Did you guys like high school?" Beth asks. "Mom said she loved it, but I don't know if I trust her."
"Uh…"
"I had a blast in high school," Santana volunteers. "But I wouldn't recommend following in my footsteps."
"Oh. Uh, okay," Beth says slowly. "How about you Rachel?"
"Well, uh, the first part of high school was unpleasant, but it improved a bit in my later years."
"Um, all right."
"How old are you Abby?" Rachel tries, desperate to get off the topic of high school.
Neither Rachel or Santana know if Beth knows… well, anything. That Shelby gave up Rachel to her fathers or that she contacted her sixteen years later; that Rachel and Santana know Beth's birth parents and in Santana's case, was present at her birth; or even if Beth knows she's adopted. Though, looking at her, Rachel is pretty sure it's obvious; at least with Abby present, and now Rachel. There's a definite family resemblance. It makes Rachel a bit curious what Abby's father looks like.
"Ten."
"That's a good age," Rachel tries.
"I guess."
"You guys play sports or anything?" Santana asks.
"I was thinking of becoming a cheerleader next year," Beth offers.
Rachel nearly chokes on her water; Santana smacks her on the back and eventually Rachel is able to breathe properly.
Both Beth and Abby look at her oddly. Shelby just shakes her head.
"That's nice," Rachel manages to gasp.
"I'm more into music," Abby says.
"Oh? Do you sing?"
Abby looks at her plate. "Not really."
"Abby is like a musical genius," Beth jovially informs them. "She can play the sax, guitar, viola, piano and she's learning percussion."
"Seriously?" Santana asks, the admiration obvious in her voice.
"Yeah," Abby replies, looking up shyly.
"That's really fu--lipping impressive," Santana tells her. "You could like a one person band or something."
Abby shrugs. "Maybe." But the small smile on her face doesn't disappear.
"So I'm kind of curious," Shelby says. "How you got together? Because the last time I saw you two, you hated each other."
"I don't know exactly," Rachel replies. "We just sort of fell into it, I suppose. One moment we're hanging out, having fun and then all of a sudden, we're in love."
"And you've been together since high school?" Beth asks.
"Actually, Rachel ended it after high school," Santana says. "We only got back together about five years ago."
"And how long have you been married?" Shelby asks.
"Two years this past June," Santana replies.
"You're practically newlyweds," Shelby jokes.
"Maybe," Rachel agrees. "But everyone called us an old married couple in high school, so I'm not sure that it's much different for us now."
"You guys are like really weird," Beth says.
"That's not the first time we've heard that," Rachel tells her. "So thanks."
…
After dinner they all sit in the living room where Shelby and Santana finish the wine, Rachel has water as the girls drink soda.
"So let's just get it out of the way," Shelby starts. "The girls know you're my daughter, Rachel."
Rachel nods.
“And Beth obviously knows she was adopted,” Shelby continues. “But I suppose you’re wondering about Abby?”
Rachel nods again.
“As I mentioned before, there’s an eighteen year difference between myself and my brother, Zack,” Shelby explains. “When Beth was three, Abby was born. But about a year later, my sister-in-law took off; reasons unknown. So Zack was left to raise Abby by himself. Unfortunately, two years later, Zack perished in a car accident. My parents have both passed away and so Abby came to live with Beth and myself. So the three of us have been a family for about seven years now.”
Rachel has no idea how to respond. “Oh.”
"It was difficult, but we managed," Shelby says.
…
"Well that went well, considering," Santana says as they exit the elevator.
"It was rather surreal," Rachel replies. "There's still a small part of me that worries I'm dreaming."
"Good dream or nightmare?"
"Just… odd."
"And we're really coming back here next week?" Santana asks.
"Well, I did give my word," Rachel replies. "Why? Do you think it's a bad idea?"
Santana shrugs. Looking around, she tries to hail a cab. "It depends. I mean, if you end up deciding you don't want to keep up contact, more interaction seems kinda mean."
"Yes, I suppose it does," Rachel agrees as a cab stops in front of them.
Santana opens the door for her and Rachel slips in. Santana slides in after.
Rachel gives the cabbie their address. "So what you're saying is that I need to decide from this one dinner what to do?"
"I'd recommend it, babe," Santana replies. "I think if you called and canceled in a few days, Shelby would be more understanding then if you told her no contact after a couple months."
"You're right. And it would be very unfair to Beth and Abby."
"It figures that a woman that goes chasing after the daughter she gave up would somehow end up with two ten years later."
"That's actually not helpful right now, San."
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry babe."
…
Rachel ultimately decides to continue Monday night dinners. It takes her four months of dinners to feel comfortable going without Santana at her side. The one time that Santana had to work late, Rachel backed out of dinner, apologizing and explaining to Shelby.
No matter how hard she tries, Rachel can't help but bond with Beth and Abby. She still has difficulties thinking of them as her sisters, since that's how Abby and Beth see each other. Rachel blames it on her sordid history with Shelby. She endeavors to see past it, but she just can't. Then there's the knowledge of who Beth's birth parents are and the fact that Shelby has kept Rachel and Santana's involvement in said birth parents' lives a secret, makes it an additional challenge.
Santana believes that it's more about environment. Beth is sixteen years younger than them. And both Rachel and Beth grew up without thinking of the other as their sister. It's tough to rewire the brain sometimes.
And it's not as if Rachel doesn't bond with the girls. She and Abby talk music and Rachel finds she doesn't always feel the need to sing when Abby's playing; she enjoys just listening. Though Abby will prod her to sing most of the time, saying no one minds. Rachel doesn't always say yes, not wanting to steal the spotlight from Abby
Beth and Rachel do end up falling into a sort of sibling relationship, though. Beth ends up going to Rachel about things she's not comfortable talking to Shelby about and Rachel does her best to give decent advice. And though Beth isn't a singer, she is a fan of musicals. She and Rachel spend hours talking about various musicals; Beth even introduces Rachel to a few she'd never heard of.
Abby really takes a shine to Santana. And vice versa. Though a quiet child, she has a fierceness that appeals to Santana. She sees a bit of her younger self in Abby, if she'd been a bit more brave and didn't take her insecurities out on others.
Santana sees so much of Quinn and a bit of Puck in Beth, it sometimes throws her off; more so than Rachel ever does. Santana supposes because even though Rachel and Quinn became friendly, there's always been something between them; for Quinn it was her crush on Rachel and for Rachel it was Quinn's role of her chief tormentor.
So Santana blames nostalgia for the fondness she develops for Beth. Seeing Beth become the person Santana knows Quinn could have been as a teenager if she'd just had a nicer home environment is both reassuring and challenging. At least Quinn is finally living the life she wants.
Santana treats Shelby like a mother-in-law, even if Rachel doesn't exactly see Shelby as her mother. It's how Santana sees Shelby and the woman doesn't seem to mind. Shelby seems to know that winning over Santana will help her cause and so the pair bond over the ridiculousness that is loving Rachel.
It takes Rachel a bit more to warm up to Shelby. It's not just what happened in high school, but also Rachel's own rocky parental history. Tomás and Clara have been amazing for her, but her own fathers… It makes Rachel extremely wary.
What Santana finds a bit ironic is that the way Shelby is really able to win Rachel over is how she treats Beth and Abby. She really is a great mother. Santana would have thought that would be the most painful part of the relationship; Rachel seeing what she could have had.
Rachel agrees that it is. But with life going mostly as she wants, Rachel is trying to let some of the old hurts go. She can't change the past, only embrace the future. Rachel figures this realization is what truly left her being comfortable in Shelby's presence.
Part Two
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, OCs, Mike/OFC, Beth, Shelby, Puck, Brittany
Rating: R
Summary: 2021 to 2035 in Rachel and Santana's lives together.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Also, any real celebrities used are purely for entertainment. I know nothing about any of these people and am simply manipulating them for my own devices.
Word Count: ~9,000 (this part) / ~41,100 (total)
Spoilers: Previous parts of this series and season 1 of glee
A/N: Part two, finally. For helionwolfchild. Because even though she only posted one update of Talk Too Much instead of the promised two, it was still awesome. Plus, the initial motivation of the "deal" was enough to keep me on track with this fic. Title is a quote by Simone Weil.
2nd A/N: All real actors used were chosen because their age would match what it would be when this fic actually takes place. Also, once again, anything I didn't know (mostly anything related to lawyer-ing) was researched on the interweb, so I apologize if I've gotten things wrong.
3rd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
Part One: To Make an End is to Make a Beginning
Spring 2021
Santana is almost certain this is one of the best days of her life. Despite the fact that she proposed to Rachel for career minded reasons instead of romantic ones, Santana knows it was the right move.
She realizes how that sounds. However, she's not going to apologize. Santana plans on spending the rest of her life with Rachel; with or without a big ceremony. She kind of hates that she's sort of bowing down to popular opinion, but since people have been calling them an old married couple since high school, they might as well be one.
Currently she's leaning against a wall, a shit eating grin on her face, watching her wife try to match Mike Chang on the dance floor. God, Rachel's her wife. Santana really likes the sound of that.
Letting her eyes gloss over as she stares unabashedly at Rachel's legs as she twirls around the dance floor, Santana doesn't notice when Puck joins her, leaning against the same wall and staring at Rachel's legs.
"That is one how Jew," Puck mutters when Mike somehow manages to throw Rachel in the air and catch her.
"When did Chang get so fucking strong?" Santana mutters back.
"Seriously," Puck agrees. "Rach might be five foot nothing, but she's all muscle."
"Oh, I know."
"So do I get to call you Santana Berry now?" Puck teases. "Am I going to receive Chanukah cards from Mrs. and Mrs. Rachel Berry?"
Santana elbows Puck. "Shut up. She's taking my name."
"What? That doesn't--"
"Oh she'll still be Rachel Berry, Broadway star," Santana replies. "But everywhere else, she'll be Rachel Lopez."
"Seriously?"
"I am. Don't sound so surprised," Santana snaps.
"It's just, I don't know," Puck says. "I mean, she has you wrapped around her little finger."
"She does not!"
"That, and I would have thought for sure she'd demand you become a Berry."
"Well she didn't," Santana says. "In fact, it was her idea to change her name."
"Yeah?"
Brittany has now joined Rachel and Mike on the dance floor. Both Santana and Puck find themselves memorized by the grinding session Brittany has pulled Rachel into.
"Damn…"
"I know," Santana agrees.
"Is it wrong that Rachel being married now makes that even hotter than it would have been yesterday?"
"Probably," Santana replies. "But I totally agree."
"Only because you're going to spend three straight days alone with that woman naked." Puck sounds a bit envious to Santana.
Santana snickers at the word straight. "We're both too busy for a real honeymoon," Santana points out. "A three day weekend in a five star hotel seems like a good compromise."
And then Brittany flips Rachel, leaving both speechless and staring.
…
"I'm going to get going sweetie," Jake tells Rachel.
Rachel jumps up and hugs her dad. "Thanks for coming."
"Did you really think I was going to miss my daughter's wedding?" Jake asks her.
"Daddy did," Rachel points out.
"Yes, well, that might be true, but--"
"Dad," Rachel interrupts. "It's fine. I shouldn't have said that--"
"Rachel--"
"This is a happy day. I don't want to ruin it."
"Right. Of course. Neither do I," Jake agrees. He engulfs Rachel in another hug. "You were the most beautiful bride I've ever seen."
"Thank you for walking me down the aisle."
"Thank you for letting me."
"Call me when you get home tomorrow?" Rachel asks.
Jake nods. "I love you."
"I love you too, dad."
…
Santana is enjoying a moment of peace and sipping wine when Felix literally drags her into the men's room.
"What the fuck?"
"I wanted to talk to you," Felix replies.
"And tapping me on the shoulder and asking politely never occurred to you?" Santana snaps.
"Yeah, well, I get a bit more forceful when I've been drinking," he explains.
"And the men's room? Really?"
"Privacy."
Santana sighs. An apparently serious conversation with her brother in the handicap stall of the men's room isn't something she imagined happening tonight, well, ever really. She crosses her arms and waits.
"I meant everything I said in my toast you know," Felix starts.
Santana nods. "I know."
"But I wanted to say more. To you specifically."
"Because you've been married for years already?" Santana asks. "I appreciate the thought, but Rachel and I have been together, for, well, forever, really."
"Except for the six year break in the middle?"
"Shut up."
"I'm just kinda concerned," Felix says. "I mean, you told me yourself, the real reason you proposed is because it's better for your career to be married."
"Yeah. So? That doesn't mean I don't love Rachel. Nor does it mean I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her."
"Does she know that?" Felix asks.
"Of course she does," Santana replies. "Why wouldn't she?"
"I…"
"I mean, she's changing her name for fuck's sake," Santana continues.
"She mentioned that," Felix says.
"And yet, you're still concerned."
"I am." Felix nods. "That woman would do anything for you. And I'm just worried you don't see that."
"Are you calling me insensitive?"
"Not exactly," Felix hedges. "Busy, is more like it."
"We're both busy, Felix," Santana replies. "We're both trying to get our rather ambitious careers off the ground."
"That's what I'm worried about," Felix says. "That your chaotic lives are going to drive you guys to take each other for granted."
"It hasn't yet," Santana points out.
"Don't let it," Felix replies. "The two of you are so great together. You bring out the best in each other."
"And the worst," Santana mutters.
"Yeah," Felix agrees. "But I still think more good than bad happens."
"Me too."
"I just worry about you, San."
"I worry about you too, Felix," Santana replies. "I think that's how it's supposed to be."
"Ha ha."
"Can we please get out of the damn men's room now?" Santana asks. "I'd like to find my bride and begin our honeymoon."
"Sure thing, sis."
…
“Rachel, sweetie,” Clara says, approaching Rachel. “We’re going to take off.” She embraces Rachel tightly. “I’m so glad you’re part of our family.”
“Thank you, Clara,” Rachel replies, returning the hug. “I am too.”
“You’re a beautiful bride,” Tomás adds as he hugs Rachel. “And possibly, my favorite daughter, now.”
Rachel chuckles. “I’ll be sure to tell her you said that.”
“Good,” Tomás grins.
“Your dad already left?” Clara asks.
“Yes,” Rachel replies. “He has an early flight back to Lima, so he went back to sleep, I’m sure.”
“You know, if you ever feel you need some parental advice, we’re willing to listen,” Clara tells her.
“Yes,” Tomás agrees. “You’re family now. And so we’ll be expecting weekly calls and such from you, just as we do from Santana.”
“As if I don’t already do that,” Rachel says.
“Well, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t see this as an opportunity to slack off, young lady.”
“I’m not sure I even know the meaning of those words, dad.”
Tomás smirks. “Good.”
Tomás pulls Rachel into another hug. “For the record, your father is being an idiot. You and Santana’s turbulent past doesn’t mean you won’t have an amazing future together.”
“Yes, well, we’re a stubborn bunch,” Rachel says, trying not to blush. “Hopefully daddy will change his mind once he realizes how serious and real our relationship is.”
“Hopefully.”
“It’ll all work out, honey,” Clara says as she hugs Rachel one more time.
“Thanks for being here,” Rachel says.
“As if we’d anywhere else,” she replies. “Enjoy your honeymoon.”
Rachel blushes and waves as she watches them exit.
…
Just as Santana steps out of the men's room, she is suddenly yanked into the ladies' room.
"What the fu--"
Santana is cut off when she's wrapped up in a bear hug from Brittany.
"Congrats, San!" Brittany exclaims. "You're married. To Rachel."
"Thanks, B," Santana smiles. "I know. It's pretty awesome, right?"
Letting go, Brittany nods. "Except…"
"Except what, Britt?"
"I'm worried."
"Already? We've only been married…" Santana realizes, she's not sure what time it is. "A few hours."
"I don't want Rachy to break your heart," Brittany explains.
"What?"
"Try not to be so obstinate all the time, San," Brittany continues. "You guys are legendary fighters. Don't let it ruin things."
"Brittany, we just got married and you're already talking about us being over," Santana points out. "How is that supposed to make me feel?"
"It's to help you remember what's important. I know you guys. Just… never go to bed angry, okay?"
"Now you sound like Rachel," Santana says.
"Cause I'm not sure if you'd recover."
"Me? What about Rach? You don't think she'd be devastated?"
Brittany nods. "Of course she will be. But I know you. You'll try to pretend you're fine and you'll push everyone away and become a workaholic and you'll become old and bitter and you won't even get a cat to keep you company because you don't like 'em."
"I'm not really a cat person, Britt," Santana agrees. "But thanks."
"What for?"
"Everyone's so worried I'm going to break Rach's heart," Santana explains. "Am I so closed off that no one sees how much I love that woman?"
"It's not their fault," Brittany replies. "You're just too good at that tough gal image."
"I think I should be more insulted that everyone's talking like we're going to end. Rachel and I have been in love for almost half our lives."
"What about--"
"Even during the break," Santana finishes.
Brittany shrugs. "I just wanted you to know you can talk to me. About marital stuff. So you guys treat each other right."
"Britt," Santana says. "You damn well know that I will be spending the rest of my life with that woman. No matter what happens. I know this, more than I know anything else."
"Good." Brittany hugs Santana again. "Then I won't have to worry."
…
Exhausted, Rachel is enjoying a moment of quiet. Mike is seated next to her gulping down water. They've been dancing quite a bit and she understands his dehydration.
"So was it everything you wanted it to be?" Mike asks.
"I married the woman I loved," Rachel replies. "Everything else was simply a bonus."
"You ever tell S you asked her parents for their blessing?"
"Shhh," Rachel hisses, looking around. "No. And if I have my way, she'll never find out."
"I think it's sweet," Mike insists.
"Well, I'm pretty sure it'll weird her out," Rachel replies. "Especially if she finds out that breaking up for college and getting back together after was part of my life plan."
"I never understood that," Mike says. "That's was a ridiculous gamble, in my opinion. I mean, what if she'd found someone else? I mean, I know you guys belong together, but she could have refused you because you were the one that ended it."
Rachel sighs. "I know. I'll admit I was rather naive and seriously lucky. Everyone once in a while, I still can't believe it all worked out. Especially since things didn't go exactly as I planned."
"Oh?"
Rachel nods. "Yes. I had hoped we'd find each other after graduating," Rachel explains. "With my doing tons of auditions and working I figured I'd run into her that first year after college. I mean, I knew she wanted to go to Columbia and that she had to have an internship. Plus, you know what they say, New York is the biggest and smallest city ever because you always run into people you'd rather not."
"Does that mean you don't run into people you do want to?" Mike teases.
"Apparently. Since it took us over six years to find each other instead of the four that I planned on," Rachel says. She looks around, making sure no one will overhear them, even though almost everyone is either too drunk or have already left. "And if we hadn't found each other when we did, I would have sought her out."
"When?"
"According to my timeline, one more year."
"So you would have just started roaming the city for her?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Rachel says, as she slaps Mike on the arm. "I would have called Clara or Tomás and asked."
"And you really think they would have told you?"
Rachel shrugs. "I'm pretty sure. Thankfully, I didn't have to, though."
"You're one lucky bitch," Mike tells her.
"You know it, Mikey."
Noah plops down next to her, letting his arm fall around her shoulders.
"Bro. Chang."
Mike raises an eyebrow, but just nods.
"I can't believe you're fucking married," Noah continues.
"It's not like I'm the first," Rachel points out.
"True," Noah agrees. "But you're different. Special."
"I know."
"Even with you two together all that time at McKinley," Noah says. "I never pictured the two of you married."
"I'll admit it doesn't fit with my original plan," Rachel agrees. "But I think this is better."
"And you're changing your name."
Rachel nods.
"I'm still calling you Berry," Noah says. "Calling you Lopez would just be too weird."
"You could call me Rachel," she tells him. "I also respond to that."
Mike chuckles.
"Sorry. Guess I'm just surprised."
"I know," Rachel says. "I'm sure everyone is. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm still too big of an ego maniac to even consider changing my name."
"People don't think that," Mike interrupts.
"That's not what I mean, Rach," Noah says.
"Is it so unbelievable that I love my wife and I want to take her name?" Rachel asks.
"Of course not," Mike says.
"I didn't think either of you would change your name," Noah adds. "Maybe that's why it took me by surprise."
"Rach," Mike says. "We talked about this. You knew you'd be having similar conversations. Remember? Puck isn't trying to be mean. He's just trying to understand."
"Exactly," Noah agrees. However, Rachel can see the jealousy raging in his eyes.
Rachel knows that Noah is a bit resentful of Mike, though he'd never admit it. Noah will always be one of her best friends, but because Mike actually lives in the same city, Rachel's come to rely on him quite a bit. He's the one Rachel turns to when she can't go to Santana.
"You're right, of course," Rachel says. "I think I'm letting all the champagne go to my head."
They lapse into silence for a few minutes until Santana struts over to claim her wife.
Autumn 2021
Rachel spends eight shows a week being devastated about her brother’s fight with Leukemia, while also dealing with her father's worsening Alzheimer's. It's intense and emotionally draining, but she enjoys every tear, every impassioned plea, every devastating moment.
Santana is there opening night and though she wants to support Rachel, knows she'll never be seeing this show again; it's just too much for her. And seeing Rachel so heartbroken is almost painful.
Rachel is a little bit in awe of the reaction her performance brought out in her wife.
The intensity of the role helps her become good friends with Jonathan, the actor who plays James, her older brother. He occasionally tells her that she breaks his heart every night.
It's because of this that Jonathan helps Rachel get an audition for the role of Margaret Jerome, a single mother in the four part miniseries, The General Store. It takes place in 1923. Pregnant at 16, Margaret was thrown out by her parents. However, when they're killed in a car accident seven years later, Margaret returns home to help run the family business. Her brother Greg lost a leg in the war and can't do it by himself.
She's in LA for six weeks and it's the first time she and Santana have been apart since getting back together. It's agony. Rachel is actually glad how emotionally exhausting her role is. It's distracting enough that the six weeks fly by.
It's a bit more difficult for Santana. When Rachel's doing a show, their schedules keep them apart. But there's something about knowing that Rachel is at home when she's at work or falling asleep at night, knowing that Rachel will be slipping into bed next to her soon that makes it all okay. Instead, knowing that Rachel is on the other side of the country, makes Santana feel rather lonely. And that includes the time that they once went for eight days without seeing each other.
To compensate, they communicate constantly, whether it's texting or talking. Occasionally Santana will try to initiate some sexting, but Rachel refuses to do that while on set. It makes Santana curse the time difference, more than once. The compromise is early morning phone sex that makes Santana late to the office more than once.
What also helps Santana survive the separation is focusing on the parallels between Margaret and a certain former Cheerio. She spends every day from the moment Rachel tells her the plot to the night it premiers teasing Rachel about playing Quinn Fabray.
To which Rachel replies since Quinn didn't keep Beth and her kid on the show is a boy, it hardly counts.
Unfortunately by this time, Santana is laughing too hard and the conversation is doomed.
…
About two weeks after Rachel returns from LA, Santana is given a promotion. Her work in the Forensic Sciences/Cold Case department has apparently been quite impressive. Though she's still considered a junior attorney, she's to start immediately in the Vehicular Crimes Unit.
…
Rachel is possibly more excited than Santana is. The shout of joy that Rachel lets out when Santana tells her over the phone actually momentarily deafens her and she has to switch ears.
"We're going out to celebrate, tonight," Rachel tells her. "I'm so proud of you, tiger."
Santana can only smile. She's feeling pretty proud herself, especially since she's a whole year ahead of career plan. But Rachel's pride and enthusiasm makes her feel like she could conquer anything the world throws at her.
They have dinner at their favorite little bistro just a block away from their apartment. They sit so closer, Rachel is practically in Santana's lap; not that she's complaining. Though, Rachel is uncharacteristically quiet while they wait for their food.
"What?" Santana asks after five minutes of Rachel's unabashed staring.
"Nothing," Rachel replies. "I'm just so proud of you."
"You're not disappointed?"
"Why would I be disappointed?" Rachel asks.
"I mean, I know this wasn't what you pictured all those years ago when I said I wanted to go to law school."
"So?" Rachel questions. "It's what you want. And you're obviously amazing at it. Plus you're really hot in your power suits."
"Yeah?"
"Oh yeah," Rachel agrees. "I am a bit curious about what department you want to end up in, though. You've never said."
"Actually my goal is to become the District Attorney," Santana replies.
"The DA? That's an elected position," Rachel points out. "You don't think being an out lesbian might make that difficult?"
"Come on, Rach, it's 2021. And I won't even be eligible for at least ten years."
"Political office is different and you know it."
"Not if my wife is an award winning Broadway darling," Santana says. "Who New York City loves and is working her way towards an EGOT?"
"San…"
"Tell me, I'm wrong," Santana replies.
"Well, I am very loveable," Rachel agrees. "And people do seem to love you in court."
"I just need to help send away the leader of a child pornography ring or something," Santana says. "Then I'll be a hero of the people."
"Human trafficking would also work," Rachel adds.
Winter 2021
About once a month, Santana and Rachel have dinner with Kelly and Ryan Driers. Santana still talks to Ryan, though they're both so busy, they rarely have time to hang out. Santana knows Kelly and Rachel occasionally have lunch, when their schedules allow.
But when Rachel suggests they make dinner a more regular thing, Santana agrees. Without them, she would have never run into Rachel again. Ryan inviting her to his party all those years ago was the best thing that ever happened to Santana.
Summer 2022
The day they announce the Emmy nominations, Rachel dances around the living room.
"And you thought I was crazy to do it," she tells Santana. "And now I'm nominated for an Emmy."
"Yeah. Yeah."
"Suck it Lopez," Rachel crows. "I've been nominated for an Emmy."
"You're making it very difficult to be happy for you right now, babe."
"You love me," Rachel coos. "Besides, wait until I'm nominated for a Tony. That'll be some celebrating."
"Congrats babe," Santana replies. "I'm proud of you."
"I suppose you have to go to work," Rachel says. "No time for some celebratory sex?"
"Afraid not," Santana tells her. "But tonight you're mine."
Rachel just smirks as she continues her victory dance.
Autumn 2022
The night of the Emmys Rachel is amazingly calm. She and Santana fly to Los Angeles for the event and will be taking the red eye back since Santana has to work in the morning. Santana had tried to convince Rachel to go alone and take Brittany who's living in LA or even Kurt, who's also there.
"You guys are almost friends now," Santana tells her.
"You're going," Rachel replies. "It's my first awards ceremony. Even though I'm not going to win, I want you there. There's going to be a lot more of these in the future. I want to lose my awards ceremony virginity with you."
"Sexual innuendo isn't going to work this time."
"What about sexual favors then?"
Which is why Santana's currently walking down the red carpet, fingers intertwined with Rachel's. She's trying not to let the numerous camera flashes blind her, which Santana didn't think would be possible with the sun still out, but nonetheless, she's seeing spots.
What surprises Santana is how Rachel never lets herself get pulled away. For all three short interviews, Santana is firmly by her wife's side and at one point, gets introduced as an ADA. There's real pride in Rachel's voice for Santana and all she can think is how fucking awesome Rachel is.
Knowing Rachel as well as she does, Santana has always been afraid of how their career dynamic is going to work out in relation to their marriage. She's spent many hours debating it with Brittany, not quite believing the blonde's claims that she needs to stop over thinking. Brittany's told her over and over to trust Rachel and simply see what happens.
She can admit that it's part of the reason she was reluctant to come with Rachel. The other part is that she'll be running on five hours of shitty airplane sleep. Thankfully, she doesn't have to be in court.
However, settling into her seat next to a still oddly calm, but still clearly excited Rachel, Santana knows there's nowhere else she'd rather be. And the fact that Rachel only wanted to share this experience with her tells Santana that maybe she should have listened to Brittany and not stress so much.
"What?" Rachel asks after Santana's been staring at her for a few minutes.
"I'm glad I'm here is all. I love you when you're this giddy."
"Thank you for coming with," Rachel replies. "I know tomorrow's going to suck for you. But I can't imagine being here with anyone else."
"I'm proud of you, babe," Santana says. "Did you write a speech?"
"I'm not going to win," Rachel tells her. "I mean, look at the competition. I just want to relax and enjoy the experience of my first award show."
"Is that why you're so relaxed?" Santana asks.
Rachel nods. "Knowing I don't stand a chance means I have nothing to fret over. Besides, just being nominated is great for me. It gets my name out there. Having an Emmy nomination should help me with auditions."
"When did you get so pragmatic?" Santana muses.
The dimming of the house lights stops Rachel from answering.
Rachel's category is near the end, so they have a lot to sit through a lot of speeches. Santana finds herself critiquing them and imagining what Rachel would say if she won. Despite the fact that Santana knows Rachel still practices her acceptance speeches, Santana's never heard her. She wonders if Rachel thinks she'll make fun of her.
And then Rachel's category is up, Best Supporting Actress in a miniseries. Santana watches as Alison Brie and Kal Penn walk on stage. As the names are read, Rachel clutches Santana's hand, smiling slightly for the camera.
"And the Emmy goes to…" Kal Penn says as Alison Brie fumbles with the envelope.
Once it's finally open, Alison Brie leans closer to the mic, "Rachel Berry for The General Store."
It takes Santana pushing Rachel towards the stage for the fact that she won to register. She can see it in her wife's face; the stunned happiness is just too adorable.
Rachel accepts the stature and stands in front of the mic looking a bit lost.
"So believe it or not, I didn't prepare a speech. I honestly didn't think I'd actually win. I mean, look at the amazing women I was nominated with. I really didn't think I stood a chance. A big thanks to everyone on The General Store. It was a great cast and crew and I feel privileged to have worked with them. A special thanks to Will James the casting director for giving me a chance. And of course, a heartfelt thanks and I love you to my wife, Santana for being so incredible. I wouldn't be up here without your love and support."
Rachel gives a slight curtsey as the music starts and then follows Alison Brie and Kal Penn off stage.
Santana knows there's a lot of press to deal with and so she tries to keep the stupid grin off her face, but she's not sure if she's successful. When Rachel finally does return, Santana feels an odd swell of pride as she greets her with a kiss. They don't say anything, but Santana doesn't feel they have to. She just knows that this moment is worth every tired moment she'll experience tomorrow.
Winter 2022
Rachel's first role on Broadway is Laurey Williams in Oklahoma!. Though she'd always hoped her natural talent would shine through, Rachel's pretty sure her recent Emmy win helped a lot. Still, she's not complaining. It's one more piece of her life plan falling into place.
Winter 2023
Rachel is leaving after a show one Thursday night when she's approached for an autograph. It's not a common occurrence, but since the Emmy win, she's gained a fan or two.
She accepts the pen and paper and looks up at her admirer, who is barely taller than her. Rachel usually asks who she should make it out to, but the words die in her throat.
"Hi Rachel."
"Shelby."
The woman cringes slightly, but doesn't try to correct her. Oddly Rachel finds herself more open to a conversation after seeing this reaction.
"I was hoping we could talk."
Rachel looks at her watch. "What about Beth?"
"Babysitter."
"Fine," Rachel sighs. "There's a coffee shop I like, just down the street."
…
Once they're settled in a back corner, Rachel sips her tea and waits for Shelby to begin. Just because she may be more open to listening, doesn't mean she's going to make it easy for her.
"You look amazing," Shelby says finally. "All grown up. I can hardly believe it."
"Yes, well, a decade will do that to a person."
"Believe it or not, I've been trying to find you for years."
"You obviously weren't trying very hard," Rachel retorts. I've been here for almost ten years."
"I didn't want to bother you while you were in school," Shelby explains. "And then it took some effort to find someone who could confirm you were still here."
"You could have called my dads," Rachel says.
"I finally did," Shelby admits. "They could only give me your cell number, but I didn't want to go that route."
"Oh."
"Why don't they have more information?" Shelby asks. "That's been bothering me ever since."
"We had a small falling out my junior year," Rachel explains. "We were never really the same after that."
"About what?"
"My choice of romantic interest."
"Please tell me it wasn't Noah Puckerman."
"Not quite," Rachel replies. "So what? You bided your time and then once my name was out for the Emmy, you found me?"
"Not exactly," Shelby says. "Once you won, it was easier to find information on you. Once I found out what show you were working on, it was just a matter of working up the courage to approach you."
"And here we are."
"I know how completely out of line it is for me to expect you to let me into your life again, but I'd really like the chance to reconnect. This time for real."
"You're serious?"
Shelby nods.
"What? I'm becoming well known and suddenly you want back into my life?" Rachel asks. "How do you really expect me to interpret that?"
"Disbelief and veiled hurt," Shelby replies. "I know I'm at least one for two."
Rachel scoffs.
"So all I ask is that you listen to me and give what I’m about to say real consideration," Shelby continues. "If after all that, you still don't want me in your life, I will accept that and never bother you again."
Rachel eyes her for a moment and can't deny the sincerity that seems to be pouring from her. Finally she nods.
"Thank you. I know I have no right to expect you to forgive me. The connection we have is complicated at best. I can only hope now, some years later, you might understand why I reacted the way I did. I realize my actions were selfish and hurtful and for that I am truly sorry. I'm under no illusion that you'd ever think of me as your mother again, but friends might be all right. And I'd love for you to get to know Beth. She is your sister. We wouldn't have to tell her if you didn't want to," Shelby adds hastily. "I just thought it'd be nice to have that bond. Being an only child can be lonely."
"You're an only child too?"
"Well, no," Shelby replies. "I was though. There's an eighteen year difference between me and my younger brother."
"Oh."
"And I realize you're all grown up now, but a sibling is a sibling. I should know."
Rachel half nods as she spills her cup of tea on the table.
"I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You're an amazing human being Rachel," Shelby says. "I just wish I'd had more to do with it. And I'm going to leave now and let you think. Here's my number." She sets a business card on the table. "I hope you'll use it." She stands. "By the way, honey, you were incredible tonight. Truly. Your acting is as good as your singing." She reaches out to touch Rachel, but catches herself. She smiles weakly as she lets her hand drop. She nods and turns, walking out, but leaving her coffee behind.
Rachel stares after her.
…
Rachel is late. Santana glances at the clock for the fourth time in ten minutes. She racks her brain trying to remember if Rachel had plans after her show, but nothing comes to mind. Tired of waiting, Santana looks for her phone.
Finding it in the kitchen, she picks it up, just as it rings.
"Hey babe, where the hell are you?"
"San?" Rachel's voice is quiet and sounds very young.
"Rach, what's wrong?"
"I need you to come get me," Rachel replies.
"What?"
"I really need you to come find me and walk me home. Please."
"Of course," Santana replies. "Where are you?"
"My favorite place by the theater?"
Santana nods as she begins searching for some shoes. "I know where it is. I'll be there as fast as I can."
" 'Kay."
Santana stares at her cell phone. Her panic level is growing exponentially and she quickly dashes out of the apartment.
…
Rachel is sure how long she's been sitting there since Shelby left, but she can't move. Besides, Santana is on her way and if Rachel leaves before she gets here, she'll have a very worried and pissed off wife.
The door burst open and Santana is suddenly in front of her.
"Rach," Santana says, kneeling in front of her. "What's wrong?"
"Can you just help me home?" Rachel manages. "I'll explain then, I promise."
"Course. Anything you want," Santana replies, helping Rachel stand. "But you're all right?"
"Physically, perhaps," Rachel tells her. "But mentally, I have no idea."
Worried, Santana helps her stand and the link arms before exiting.
…
The next day, Santana is having difficulties concentrating. Rachel refused to talk about it when they arrived home, saying she didn't want to keep Santana up too late. Instead, she suggested lunch since Santana has a light Thursday.
Knowing Rachel won't budge on this, Santana reluctantly agrees. Despite Rachel's efforts, Santana is tired and unable to focus. She fell into a fitful sleep the night before, her mind creating crazy scenarios that would account for Rachel's behavior. And now she's counting down the minutes to lunch, praying an emergency doesn't come up.
Thankfully, Santana is able to leave her office at exactly 11:20 to meet Rachel at 11:30. They meet at a little deli three blocks away. They’ve been going there for years and are mostly left alone. With Rachel’s recent Emmy win, a lot more people have been approaching her.
Rachel is already there, with two sandwiches and two bottles of water in front of her.
“Thanks, babe,” Santana says, sitting. She leans in for a kiss. “So? Talk.”
Rachel shakes her head, a small smile on her face. “Last night, Shelby approached me after the show.”
Santana raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything.
“She wanted to talk. She said she’s been trying to get in contact with me for a few months now.”
“Oh?”
“She wants a relationship again,” Rachel continues. “She said that Beth is technically my sister and family is important. Probably because she found out daddy and I aren’t on the best terms.”
Santana chews faster. Rachel’s relationship with her fathers is touchy and volatile subject. And now is definitely not the time to start an argument.
“I may have over reacted last night,” Rachel says. “But I really never expected to see her again. And now… She claims she doesn’t want to be my mother, just a friend.”
“Do you believe her?” Santana asks.
“I believe she believes it,” Rachel counters. “She meant it when she said it. I just worry that as the years pass, she’ll forget again.”
“Would that be so bad?” Santana questions. “I mean, you really wanted a mom back in high school. I know it didn’t turn out the way you wanted, but maybe after all these years…”
“I have a family. Your mom has been amazing and Felix treats me like a little sister and your dad… Plus, dad is still talking to me.”
“Rachel.”
“I’m just not certain I can trust her again after high school. I know it was over a decade ago, but I just can’t. She sought me out. I was just fine. I was curious, sure, but I didn’t need her. For her to send Jesse so he could coerce me into seeking her out, rejecting me and then adopting Beth? It took years, but I understand why everything happened the way it did. But that doesn’t mean I forgive her. I spent too many years forgiving people for treating me like shit. You helped me realize that I don’t have to.” Rachel stops Santana from eating as she grabs her hand. “It’s one of the most amazing things anyone has done for me.”
Santana blushes slightly as she smiles.
“But unfortunately for her, I will never be able to see Shelby as my mother.”
“Does that mean you’re not going to call her?” Santana asks.
“I don’t know.” Rachel takes several bits of her sandwich, before asking, “What do you think I should do?”
“I’ll be damned if I know,” Santana replies. “I’m not sure I’m even remotely qualified to answer that.”
“You’re my wife,” Rachel tells her. “You’re completely qualified.”
“Well, honestly? I think you should call her. She’s kind of right about Beth being your sister. And I know how weird that sounds. But it could be good for both of you. I mean, if nothing else, you can bond over your similar situations.”
“I suppose that’s true. But the fact that she’s… Noah’s… and Quinn’s… Still always kind of sticks in my head.”
“I know,” Santana says. “Me too. But it’s not her fault.”
Rachel chuckles. “I suppose not.”
They quickly finish their lunches when the realize Santana has to be back in her office in fifteen minutes.
“I hope you realize that you’re coming with,” Rachel says as they stand.
“What?”
“I’m not doing this alone. You’re coming with, to help me bond with Noah’s daughter.”
“It might help if you stop referring to her like that,” Santana points out.
“Do you think I should tell Noah, about all this?” Rachel questions.
“Eventually sure,” Santana replies. “But at least wait and see how things go.”
Exiting, they link hands as Rachel walks Santana back to her office.
“What about Quinn?” Rachel asks.
“What about her?” Santana counters. “Britt’s the one that still talks to her. Not me. I’ll probably mention it sooner or later during a phone call and she’ll use her discretion about telling Q, I’m sure.”
“Does it make me a bad friend that I’m still shocked that she’s an extremely successful Financial Analyst?”
“Well, then I must be a bad friend too,” Santana replies. “Because I feel the same way.”
“Thanks,” Rachel says once they’re in front of Santana’s office. “I know I was a bit melodramatic last night. I guess I haven't completely left that behind."
"You're an actress, babe," Santana replies. "Isn't that like mandatory?"
"Quiet you."
"And you weren't over reacting last night," Santana tells her. "Parents are… complicated. Especially yours."
"Thank god for yours, then, huh?"
"It's not fair that they still like you better," Santana grumbles before leaning in for a good bye kiss. "You'll be okay?"
Rachel nods. "I need to do some more thinking, but yes, I will be."
…
It takes Rachel three days to decide to call Shelby back and five more days to build up the courage to make the call.
It's Saturday, so she has a matinee, for which she's glad for. Just because she's okay with this, doesn't mean she wants to see Shelby today. She thinks she needs a few more days to mentally prepare.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Shelby, it's Rachel."
"Rachel, hello, it's lovely to hear from you." There's an uncomfortable pause before Shelby continues, "I wasn't sure if you'd call or not."
"I wasn't sure, either," Rachel replies.
"Well, I'm glad that you did." There's another awkward pause that Shelby quickly jumps on. "Maybe you'd want to come over for dinner?"
"I have shows in the evening," Rachel points out.
"Not Mondays," Shelby counters. "Maybe you could come over Monday night. And bring Santana, of course."
"I… I'll have to check with her first. Can you hold on just a moment?"
"Of course."
Rachel leaves her phone in the kitchen as she seeks out her wife. Santana is in front of the TV, but she doesn't seem to be paying too much attention.
"Hey San?"
"Yeah babe?"
"What's your week look like this week?"
Santana pulls out her cell and goes through her schedule for the week. "It looks pretty light. Why?"
"Um, well, I called Shelby."
"Oh."
"And she suggested dinner at her place Monday night," Rachel continues. "And I absolute cannot go over there without you."
"Of course not, Rach," Santana assures her, jumping off the couch and pulling her into a hug. "No worries. I'll be able to go with you Monday night."
"Okay. I better go tell Shelby."
Rachel walks back into the kitchen and grabs her phone off the table.
"Shelby?"
"I'm still here, Rachel."
"I'm sorry. It took me a moment to find Santana. But we'll both be there Monday night. What time?"
"How about seven? I'll text you the address."
"Okay. Would you like us to bring anything?"
"Just yourselves is fine," Shelby assures her.
"Very well, I'll see you Monday night."
"See you Monday night."
…
Monday, Santana comes home to find Rachel pacing the apartment. Her wife doesn't notice her immediately and Santana is content to watch her walk from the kitchen to the living room to their bedroom and then back into the kitchen. After the third lap, Santana grabs Rachel as she heads towards the kitchen.
"Oh, hello," Rachel greets.
"How long have you been pacing?"
"I don't know. An hour?"
"Seriously?"
"It's almost like exercise," Rachel tries.
"I guess." Santana holds up a narrow paper bag. "Wine as you requested."
"Thanks." Rachel takes the bag and pulls the bottle out to examine it. "I just don't feel right going over there empty handed."
"Yeah, Miss Manners would probably kick you out of the club."
"Proper etiquette is important," Rachel insists. "Especially when you're about to have dinner with one's birth mother who rejected me and then adopted my friend's daughter instead. I feel like I'm about to enter a soap opera."
"It is rather ridiculous," Santana agrees. "I always wondered if all that meant you were destined to be a melodramatic actress."
"What? I knew on a subconscious level when I was young that my teen years would be traumatic?"
Santana shrugs. "Maybe."
"Now you're being ridiculous," Rachel tells her. "Go change so we can go. You know how I hate to be late."
"Yes my darling wife." Santana smirks and high tails it into the bedroom, but not before Rachel slaps her on the ass.
…
Santana has to carry the wine because Rachel's hands are shaking. They're in the elevator and Santana is a bit concerned that Rachel's having some sort of panic attack.
"Babe," Santana says once they're off the elevator. "We don't have to do this. I'm sure Shelby will understand if you want to reschedule for next week."
"It's 6:55," Rachel replies. "That is not enough notice. The only acceptable reason to cancel now would be some sort of emergency."
"Well, you're scaring the shit out of me," Santana tells her. "If you faint, I'd consider that an emergency."
"Me fainting is at best, melodramatic; certainly not an emergency."
"Okay then. I need you to take some deep breaths and calm down, then."
Rachel nods and does so. Santana counts out ten breaths and Rachel does look a bit calmer.
"If it helps," Santana says as they reach apartment 8C. "I'm sure Shelby's just as nervous."
Rachel nods absently. "I think it might." She takes a few more deep breaths. "Okay. I'm ready."
Santana nods in reply and knocks on the door.
A few moments later the door swings open to reveal a blonde teenager who's a perfect mix of Quinn and Puck.
"Uh, hi," she greets. "I'm Beth. Rachel and Santana?"
Rachel nods.
"Well, come on in. Mom's in the kitchen." She ushers them inside.
"Holy shit," Santana whispers to Rachel as they follow Beth through the apartment.
"I know," Rachel whispers back.
In the kitchen, they find Shelby and another teenage girl.
"Mom, they're here."
Shelby turns with a wide grin on her face. "Hello. Rachel. Santana."
"We brought wine," Rachel offers as Santana holds up the bottle.
"You didn't have to."
"Rachel refuses to show up anywhere empty handed," Santana jokes.
"Well, I appreciate it." Shelby wipes her hands on a towel. "So you've technically already met Beth. And this is my niece, Abby."
"Hi," Abby waves.
Rachel's a bit relieved. Abby, like Rachel herself, looks a lot like Shelby. And if she thought Shelby went and had herself another kid, Rachel'll would have run out the door without another word, manners be damned.
"Santana."
"I'm Rachel."
Abby smirks. "We know who you are. We watch all the award shows."
"Oh. Yes. That." Rachel blushes slightly.
"How about we sit down to dinner?" Shelby suggests.
Beth leads everyone into a dining room. Rachel and Santana wait for the others to sit and then take the two empty seats.
"So how's your show going Rachel?" Shelby asks.
"Just fine," Rachel answers. "Oklahoma! is one of the shows I always dreamed of being in."
"Well you do an amazing job," Shelby replies. "And what do you do, Santana?"
"I'm an ADA," Santana answers.
"Oh?"
"For the Vehicular Crime Unit."
"That sounds… exciting."
"Not really," Santana shrugs. "But you have to start somewhere."
"So, uh, Beth, what grade are you in?" Rachel asks.
"Eighth."
"Oh. Looking forward to high school?"
Beth shrugs. "Kinda. I don't know. Some people tell me it's going to be the worst thing ever and then other people tell me it's super awesome."
Rachel and Santana share a look.
"Did you guys like high school?" Beth asks. "Mom said she loved it, but I don't know if I trust her."
"Uh…"
"I had a blast in high school," Santana volunteers. "But I wouldn't recommend following in my footsteps."
"Oh. Uh, okay," Beth says slowly. "How about you Rachel?"
"Well, uh, the first part of high school was unpleasant, but it improved a bit in my later years."
"Um, all right."
"How old are you Abby?" Rachel tries, desperate to get off the topic of high school.
Neither Rachel or Santana know if Beth knows… well, anything. That Shelby gave up Rachel to her fathers or that she contacted her sixteen years later; that Rachel and Santana know Beth's birth parents and in Santana's case, was present at her birth; or even if Beth knows she's adopted. Though, looking at her, Rachel is pretty sure it's obvious; at least with Abby present, and now Rachel. There's a definite family resemblance. It makes Rachel a bit curious what Abby's father looks like.
"Ten."
"That's a good age," Rachel tries.
"I guess."
"You guys play sports or anything?" Santana asks.
"I was thinking of becoming a cheerleader next year," Beth offers.
Rachel nearly chokes on her water; Santana smacks her on the back and eventually Rachel is able to breathe properly.
Both Beth and Abby look at her oddly. Shelby just shakes her head.
"That's nice," Rachel manages to gasp.
"I'm more into music," Abby says.
"Oh? Do you sing?"
Abby looks at her plate. "Not really."
"Abby is like a musical genius," Beth jovially informs them. "She can play the sax, guitar, viola, piano and she's learning percussion."
"Seriously?" Santana asks, the admiration obvious in her voice.
"Yeah," Abby replies, looking up shyly.
"That's really fu--lipping impressive," Santana tells her. "You could like a one person band or something."
Abby shrugs. "Maybe." But the small smile on her face doesn't disappear.
"So I'm kind of curious," Shelby says. "How you got together? Because the last time I saw you two, you hated each other."
"I don't know exactly," Rachel replies. "We just sort of fell into it, I suppose. One moment we're hanging out, having fun and then all of a sudden, we're in love."
"And you've been together since high school?" Beth asks.
"Actually, Rachel ended it after high school," Santana says. "We only got back together about five years ago."
"And how long have you been married?" Shelby asks.
"Two years this past June," Santana replies.
"You're practically newlyweds," Shelby jokes.
"Maybe," Rachel agrees. "But everyone called us an old married couple in high school, so I'm not sure that it's much different for us now."
"You guys are like really weird," Beth says.
"That's not the first time we've heard that," Rachel tells her. "So thanks."
…
After dinner they all sit in the living room where Shelby and Santana finish the wine, Rachel has water as the girls drink soda.
"So let's just get it out of the way," Shelby starts. "The girls know you're my daughter, Rachel."
Rachel nods.
“And Beth obviously knows she was adopted,” Shelby continues. “But I suppose you’re wondering about Abby?”
Rachel nods again.
“As I mentioned before, there’s an eighteen year difference between myself and my brother, Zack,” Shelby explains. “When Beth was three, Abby was born. But about a year later, my sister-in-law took off; reasons unknown. So Zack was left to raise Abby by himself. Unfortunately, two years later, Zack perished in a car accident. My parents have both passed away and so Abby came to live with Beth and myself. So the three of us have been a family for about seven years now.”
Rachel has no idea how to respond. “Oh.”
"It was difficult, but we managed," Shelby says.
…
"Well that went well, considering," Santana says as they exit the elevator.
"It was rather surreal," Rachel replies. "There's still a small part of me that worries I'm dreaming."
"Good dream or nightmare?"
"Just… odd."
"And we're really coming back here next week?" Santana asks.
"Well, I did give my word," Rachel replies. "Why? Do you think it's a bad idea?"
Santana shrugs. Looking around, she tries to hail a cab. "It depends. I mean, if you end up deciding you don't want to keep up contact, more interaction seems kinda mean."
"Yes, I suppose it does," Rachel agrees as a cab stops in front of them.
Santana opens the door for her and Rachel slips in. Santana slides in after.
Rachel gives the cabbie their address. "So what you're saying is that I need to decide from this one dinner what to do?"
"I'd recommend it, babe," Santana replies. "I think if you called and canceled in a few days, Shelby would be more understanding then if you told her no contact after a couple months."
"You're right. And it would be very unfair to Beth and Abby."
"It figures that a woman that goes chasing after the daughter she gave up would somehow end up with two ten years later."
"That's actually not helpful right now, San."
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry babe."
…
Rachel ultimately decides to continue Monday night dinners. It takes her four months of dinners to feel comfortable going without Santana at her side. The one time that Santana had to work late, Rachel backed out of dinner, apologizing and explaining to Shelby.
No matter how hard she tries, Rachel can't help but bond with Beth and Abby. She still has difficulties thinking of them as her sisters, since that's how Abby and Beth see each other. Rachel blames it on her sordid history with Shelby. She endeavors to see past it, but she just can't. Then there's the knowledge of who Beth's birth parents are and the fact that Shelby has kept Rachel and Santana's involvement in said birth parents' lives a secret, makes it an additional challenge.
Santana believes that it's more about environment. Beth is sixteen years younger than them. And both Rachel and Beth grew up without thinking of the other as their sister. It's tough to rewire the brain sometimes.
And it's not as if Rachel doesn't bond with the girls. She and Abby talk music and Rachel finds she doesn't always feel the need to sing when Abby's playing; she enjoys just listening. Though Abby will prod her to sing most of the time, saying no one minds. Rachel doesn't always say yes, not wanting to steal the spotlight from Abby
Beth and Rachel do end up falling into a sort of sibling relationship, though. Beth ends up going to Rachel about things she's not comfortable talking to Shelby about and Rachel does her best to give decent advice. And though Beth isn't a singer, she is a fan of musicals. She and Rachel spend hours talking about various musicals; Beth even introduces Rachel to a few she'd never heard of.
Abby really takes a shine to Santana. And vice versa. Though a quiet child, she has a fierceness that appeals to Santana. She sees a bit of her younger self in Abby, if she'd been a bit more brave and didn't take her insecurities out on others.
Santana sees so much of Quinn and a bit of Puck in Beth, it sometimes throws her off; more so than Rachel ever does. Santana supposes because even though Rachel and Quinn became friendly, there's always been something between them; for Quinn it was her crush on Rachel and for Rachel it was Quinn's role of her chief tormentor.
So Santana blames nostalgia for the fondness she develops for Beth. Seeing Beth become the person Santana knows Quinn could have been as a teenager if she'd just had a nicer home environment is both reassuring and challenging. At least Quinn is finally living the life she wants.
Santana treats Shelby like a mother-in-law, even if Rachel doesn't exactly see Shelby as her mother. It's how Santana sees Shelby and the woman doesn't seem to mind. Shelby seems to know that winning over Santana will help her cause and so the pair bond over the ridiculousness that is loving Rachel.
It takes Rachel a bit more to warm up to Shelby. It's not just what happened in high school, but also Rachel's own rocky parental history. Tomás and Clara have been amazing for her, but her own fathers… It makes Rachel extremely wary.
What Santana finds a bit ironic is that the way Shelby is really able to win Rachel over is how she treats Beth and Abby. She really is a great mother. Santana would have thought that would be the most painful part of the relationship; Rachel seeing what she could have had.
Rachel agrees that it is. But with life going mostly as she wants, Rachel is trying to let some of the old hurts go. She can't change the past, only embrace the future. Rachel figures this realization is what truly left her being comfortable in Shelby's presence.
Part Two