Fields of Play [2/?] -- revised

[skyvehicle]

title: Fields of Play [2/?]
fandom: Sherlock Holmes
Pairing: Holmes/Watson (PTSD and pre-slash in this chapter)
rating: PG
words: 3,707
summary: There was Holmes, kneeling beside him on the carpeted floor of the landing, and there was the wind blowing in from the window he had left open halfway up the stairs. That was all.

note: Thanks so much to

Comments

[paperclipbitch]

Oh, I love this part even more than the other one (which I wasn't sure was possible, given how happy the other one made me). I just... argh, I love these characters, how they're trying not to misunderstand each other but they are, how hard Holmes is trying and yet how wrong he's getting it, how edgy Watson is (*hugs him*) and also, also, the way they BOTH missed dinner. Just... awww. I want to hug them both and then give them lists on how to cope with each other.

“I assure you,” Watson said, “you stopped being inquisitive far too long ago for any of this to be excusable.”
I love this line. And the whole argument, actually, but especially this line.

“Do you mean to say that you are just, only now, realizing how truly offensive you’re being? Honestly?”

“Yes!” Holmes exclaimed.
Also, this. And the bit with the pages-turning-over-quietly. And the last paragraph.

I may have eaten a bit too much sugar, so I will stop gushing and just say: enjoyed this a lot, can't wait for more :D

xxx

[skyvehicle]

I am SO RELIEVED to find that their argument actually made sense to someone other than me. I mixed every aspect of it around so much that I just didn't know what it was anymore. Thank you for restoring my faith in how sufficiently confused and off-the-mark Holmes and Watson are. (and thanks for the review. I'm really glad you like it. NOW GO WRITE YOUR OWN DAMN HELL CHAPTER. hee.)

[paperclipbitch]

No, it made perfect sense to me, but I can totally empathise with rearranging arguments until they hardly make sense anymore (I've just finished editing one I wrote at 4 this morning; it involves a lot more throwing stuff around than yours did!)

Right, I am returning to My Own Damn Hell Chapter. *nods*

xxx

[skyvehicle]

'Did we like that vase?' Or whatever that line is in your Damn Hell fic. ;) Remember, though. Cheering from the sidelines!

I can't wait for Holmes and Watson to realize that instead of breaking things, they can channel their anger into OTHER things. Like SEX. YAKNO??

[skyvehicle]

Thank you! Holmes really never learned how to be a decent human being, and that's the last thing Watson needs to deal with right now.

[ingridmatthews]

That was all. Watson lowered his head into his hands and tried to breathe normally. “What am I going to do?”

WAAAHHHHHH. Love this. Poor, poor Watson! Clumsy-but-trying Holmes.

Hey Holmes, I hear cuddling helps these sorts of things. Really! ;)

[skyvehicle]

You really think Holmes would think to cuddle Watson? You really think Watson will LET him? Watson would probably throw him over his shoulder and down the stairs before realizing that it was Holmes, and at that point he probably wouldn't mind all that much that it WAS Holmes. And Mrs. Hudson would find the dead body on the stairs and THEN where would Watson be? hehe...

[ingridmatthews]

I never said my advice was medically sound! ;)

[skyvehicle]

Neither would Watson (and neither would Holmes, if he wasn't dead on the stairs).

[pro_prodigy]

Hrmm, get a beta or (i know it's hard), but sleep on a chapter before reading it over and posting. The typos distract from the story. You have two 'about's at one point and just there in the end you want dined, not diner. Few others. Just be careful to edit. Readers will forgive a few errors in a long post, but will notice more heavily in shorter pieces.

I think my favorite part about this chapter were the details. What caught at me most was Watson's habit of smashing his thumb and forefinger together. I dunno. I think i liked it because it was a step away from the cliche and made Watson take on more of a real human presence rather than just a written character.

*still waiting to see where this will all lead*

[skyvehicle]

I took your advice, and pulled the chapter offline for a couple days to fix some things, then re-think it. It's back now, and with about 600 more words than last time. lol. Thanks for the advice.

You're not the only one to mention the thumb and index finger thing. I wrote it in because it's something that I do. Years and years ago, I was having a terrible time in high school (years ago) and would be all FIST CLENCH OF DOOM. But then it just made people stare at me strangely and then ignore me. So I had to come up with something more subtle. I don't really do it that much anymore, but it sort of popped into my head when I thought about Watson.

[sherrymarie]

Very nicely written! I love the tone and interaction of the characters and am looking forward to reading more. ^_^

[skyvehicle]

Thank you! More is on the way!