I just had a disturbing and enlightening conversation with a friend about responsibility and infidelity. I know where she stands on this, and where I do, and I'm curious what a group's take will be.
I don't like talking in terms of a person being good or bad, it's much more complex than that because we are the gestalt of so many aspects.
Do I think it's wrong? Absolutely Do I think it's unethical? Absolutely. Do I think someone would do that Absolutely not.
This is the question I ask people. How would you feel if your son or daughter in law was have an affair behind your son or daughter's back? What would you think about the person who was having sex with them knowing they were married and may even have children.
That's exactly why I left the question so black and white. With the inclusion of the word necessarily, the answer must be either yes or no. If you believe that there are complex reasons why someone might do this, and that sometimes good people make bad choices, then the answer is no. If you believe that anyone who would make that choice is, without exception, irredeemably selfish and destructive, then the answer is yes. If you believe that good and bad are relative and each individual is a unique product of his or her environment and choices, then the answer is no
( ... )
Having sex with a married person does not make you a bad person, but it is risky for so many reasons and you may live to regret your moment of pleasure.
I have always said, and still firmly believe, that a marriage is between two people, and that no one outside of those two people is responsible for keeping the relationship going. If the parameters of the marital relationship call for absolute sexual fidelity, it is up to them to say no to all offers, no matter how tempting. If they give in, it is all on them. You can't blame the outsider for asking - you don't know the parameters of a relationship till you ask, after all.
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Do I think it's wrong? Absolutely
Do I think it's unethical? Absolutely.
Do I think someone would do that Absolutely not.
This is the question I ask people. How would you feel if your son or daughter in law was have an affair behind your son or daughter's back? What would you think about the person who was having sex with them knowing they were married and may even have children.
I generally don't get a response to that one.
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