The Vidder Poor Me Meme

[sisabet]

So, here is the deal: I am not participating in the Vidder Love Meme because I am so deep in the wells of "I Suck" thoughtitude, that I am both afraid that there will be no love for me AND (simultaneously) that any love for me will be just for me as a person by my friends or out of pity

Comments

[crickets]

Thanks for posting this. I was really feeling left out of the fold.

Why I Suck and Possibly Have Never Not Sucked, Parts, A, B, C, & D:

• I haven't completed a video in over a year and a half.
• This year during VVC I swore off even watching vids because I didn't want to disturb my muse. I was finally working on a new vid. Which I promptly stopped working on.
• (And I still haven't gotten around to watching those VVC vids, which just makes me a Bad Community Member.)
• The more time that passes since my last (final?) vid, the less I like any of my old videos. This has become my inner-monologue: "Listen, dumb-dumb, you were never even any good in the first place. It's no real loss."

[sisabet]

IT IS LIKE A FUCKING MIRROR!!

I hate watching other vids which really sucks because I love watching other vids. Does that make any sense at all???

And sometimes it is painful to rewatch vids that I once was really proud of. Icebound Stream makes me wince now.

[crickets]

I hate watching other vids which really sucks because I love watching other vids. Does that make any sense at all???

Um, YES. I totally know what you mean. I am behind that sentiment 100 percent. Especially the part where it sucks, sucks, sucks!

And about re-watching vids. I guess that's always an internal point of contention anyway cause you're always going to find something you could have done better. But when you haven't done this in a while it's even worse. For several reasons. Sometimes I can't even remember making the vids. I'm sure someone else was doing it, not me.

[sisabet]

I reread some commentary I had written several years ago about a vid and it felt so alien. It was like, yeah, someone else had done that!

[crickets]

Hahaha, I guess when we're not flourishing we're drowning huh? And we're in good company it seems. (And thank you.) We both should get on trying to remedy our non-vidding selves.

[crickets]

I will message you with ideas, haha.

[counteragent]

*hugs*

[crickets]

*snuggles*

Thank you. :)

[ageless_aislynn]

"Listen, dumb-dumb, you were never even any good in the first place. It's no real loss."

Man, I know that song by heart now, too. And it sucks. And it's totally NOT true in your case. I'm still hoping to see a new vid from you pop up one of these days. I heard "Freshmen" on the radio the other day and my first thought was your Jack and Sawyer vid. ;) "Battlestar Inferno" is a vid that I love, love, LOVE! You seriously got skillz and you have something to say and I really hope that you can get your groove back so you can whup these doubts right across the face and just do your thing again. ;)

*hugs* ♥!