I lost my positivity/I'm positively lost

[revengeslance]

Who: Ken Amada and YOU! (Planned threads with Koumyou Sanzo and Shinjiro Aragaki, but anyone's welcome to reply)
When: October 4, throughout the day
Where: Various places, starting at the newcomer Faith Center and culminating in an alley late at night
Summary: Ken skips school on an important anniversary to prepare himself for what he's decided

Comments

Hope this is okay ;3;/ [Morning]

[subject_seven]

Today was going to be a good day. Nana had decided as much when she'd woken up that morning, sun shining through the windows of her little room and onto her face. She'd rolled over at first, not wanting to greet the sun at all, but she'd reminded herself 'today will be a good day' and had promptly rolled out of bed

It is completely okay!

[revengeslance]

After leaving the Faith Center, Ken sorta wandered around until his stomach rumbled. He wanted something to eat and he did have a little bit of money from the older members of S.E.E.S. giving him an allowance of sorts, so he tried to find a convenience store to get a snack.

He didn't expect anyone to bump into him, so he jumped in surprise, turned to face whoever it was...and noticed an arm fall to the ground? Ken's eyes got huge when he noticed that and he took a couple steps back while he tried to figure it out. There wasn't blood, so she wasn't hurt...just missing an arm.

"Umm, it's okay. I wasn't really paying attention either. Is that your arm?"

;u;/

[subject_seven]

It was most definitely Nana's arm.

Shock quickly found its place on her face as she looked to the boy and then to her arm, laying awkwardly on the ground.

"Ah-Ahhhhhhh!"

Immediately she bent down to reach for it, face pale from fear as she clicked it back in place, wiggling fingertips with one of her Vectors. Hands up the apologizing came right after.

"Nana's sorry! Nana didn't mean to scare you- Nana's not a monster, honest!"

It was the default response to anyone when that happened, regardless of whether they really were scared or not.

[revengeslance]

Ken watched her put the arm back on and kept being confused as hell. He didn't know why a little girl would have a fake arm, but fake limbs weren't supposed to have fingertips that moved...right? The look on his face stayed full of uncertainty, but nothing else. He wasn't scared.

"Nana? I'm Ken - I'm not scared of you and I don't think you're a monster. You're just a kid like me." Even if he didn't want to be a kid, he couldn't shake that it was the truth about what he was.

Nighttime, alleyway!

[weaktobullets]

He hadn't been surprised when he'd found the note from Ken, requesting to meet him. It was so damn similar to last time, the only difference in the place, the moon phase, and a full year of timing. He'd organized his things, hidden his drugs, and given Roland a few extra treats before slipping out of their home. He had left his axe- he had no need for it, though had brought his evoker, tucked carefully in a pocket of his coat. Red armband pinned on, he continued to tell himself that this was how things were supposed to be.

And so he left for the location specified. Again, an alley, again, Ken was waiting and, again, the kid had his spear in hand.

It was all so familiar it made him want to puke.

"...Hey." He called out to Ken as he approached, posture slouched, hands resting in his pockets, though he had no grip on his evoker. His expression was schooled, far calmer than he had been the previous night. "You figure shit out?"

[revengeslance]

Everything had to be as close as possible to how it'd be at home or Ken wouldn't feel very good about doing this. There was no Dark Hour to use for their meeting, only Darkness when anything could jump out and get them. That made this meeting dangerous, but he had his lance and his evoker in case anything tried to interrupt their meeting.

Ken turned when he heard footsteps and looked up at Shinji. "Maybe. It sucks that this isn't home or anything like it, or maybe this would all be the same as what you guys told me."

[weaktobullets]

He glanced down, listening quietly. "...That what you want? Strega to interrupt? You'd get to watch me die, and you wouldn't have to do it yourself." Shinjiro paused, shoulders tightening. It had worked that way. "...I think I'd rather that. I told you-- you kill me, you'll end up the same."

He couldn't see how killing someone could ever be easy, no matter what the reason. But he was just reiterating what he had told Ken before-- both at home, and here, when they had spoken about it. There was no point in repeating himself.

After a breath, he looked back to Ken, locking into eye contact. "So what're you gonna do?"

[revengeslance]

"That's not what I meant. If it were home, this could all get finished for good, but nothing's done for good here if dead people just come back." He shifted his grip on his lance and looked at the ground for a moment now. "I know what you told me, but how do you know I'd end up the same here? We don't know that."

The idea of killing Shinji and then himself didn't go over well with Ken if he knew they'd get to come back and he'd still have to live with himself. His mom wasn't here to see it all happen either, so that made the mess seem even more pointless. Ken had thought about all of this day after day since he learned the truth, but he still felt like a stupid little kid for backing down and not taking his revenge when he got the chance to and Shinji didn't seem like he'd fight back.

Rather than answer with words, he swung the lance at Shinji...and deliberately missed.