I lost my positivity/I'm positively lost

[revengeslance]

Who: Ken Amada and YOU! (Planned threads with Koumyou Sanzo and Shinjiro Aragaki, but anyone's welcome to reply)
When: October 4, throughout the day
Where: Various places, starting at the newcomer Faith Center and culminating in an alley late at night
Summary: Ken skips school on an important anniversary to prepare himself for what he's decided

Comments

Nighttime, alleyway!

[weaktobullets]

He hadn't been surprised when he'd found the note from Ken, requesting to meet him. It was so damn similar to last time, the only difference in the place, the moon phase, and a full year of timing. He'd organized his things, hidden his drugs, and given Roland a few extra treats before slipping out of their home. He had left his axe- he had no need for it, though had brought his evoker, tucked carefully in a pocket of his coat. Red armband pinned on, he continued to tell himself that this was how things were supposed to be.

And so he left for the location specified. Again, an alley, again, Ken was waiting and, again, the kid had his spear in hand.

It was all so familiar it made him want to puke.

"...Hey." He called out to Ken as he approached, posture slouched, hands resting in his pockets, though he had no grip on his evoker. His expression was schooled, far calmer than he had been the previous night. "You figure shit out?"

[revengeslance]

Everything had to be as close as possible to how it'd be at home or Ken wouldn't feel very good about doing this. There was no Dark Hour to use for their meeting, only Darkness when anything could jump out and get them. That made this meeting dangerous, but he had his lance and his evoker in case anything tried to interrupt their meeting.

Ken turned when he heard footsteps and looked up at Shinji. "Maybe. It sucks that this isn't home or anything like it, or maybe this would all be the same as what you guys told me."

[weaktobullets]

He glanced down, listening quietly. "...That what you want? Strega to interrupt? You'd get to watch me die, and you wouldn't have to do it yourself." Shinjiro paused, shoulders tightening. It had worked that way. "...I think I'd rather that. I told you-- you kill me, you'll end up the same."

He couldn't see how killing someone could ever be easy, no matter what the reason. But he was just reiterating what he had told Ken before-- both at home, and here, when they had spoken about it. There was no point in repeating himself.

After a breath, he looked back to Ken, locking into eye contact. "So what're you gonna do?"

[revengeslance]

"That's not what I meant. If it were home, this could all get finished for good, but nothing's done for good here if dead people just come back." He shifted his grip on his lance and looked at the ground for a moment now. "I know what you told me, but how do you know I'd end up the same here? We don't know that."

The idea of killing Shinji and then himself didn't go over well with Ken if he knew they'd get to come back and he'd still have to live with himself. His mom wasn't here to see it all happen either, so that made the mess seem even more pointless. Ken had thought about all of this day after day since he learned the truth, but he still felt like a stupid little kid for backing down and not taking his revenge when he got the chance to and Shinji didn't seem like he'd fight back.

Rather than answer with words, he swung the lance at Shinji...and deliberately missed.

[weaktobullets]

He shrugged. "You dunno that we'd come back. That happen every time?" He hadn't seen it himself, only heard of it occasionally on the network. Not that it mattered, really. If he came back... good. He'd be torn that he had let himself be more open than usual on the network, hate himself for putting Akihiko through it, for putting Ken through it... but it could be recoverable. If not, it was probably better for everyone.

He watched as Ken moved the lance, his brows coming together as he stood in place, simply flinching slightly as the blade swung closely past him. He wouldn't let himself cower or back away, but that didn't make standing in front of the blade any easier.

"...if you're gonna do it, do it. I told you, you better be damn sure of what you're doing." Otherwise he'd regret it later, wouldn't he? "'Cause I don't want you just offin' yourself after."

[revengeslance]

"Most of the time, from what I hear. Sometimes people don't, or they just disappear, but most dead people come back." He'd poked around on the NV a little to be sure of that and the locals seemed to hate that about newcomers -- they came back while locals just stayed dead.

If Ken had wanted to kill, he wouldn't have missed with that swing. An instant later, his lance clattered against the ground and he shook his head. "There's no point in killing you here just like there's no point in killing myself here. We'd just come back and get yelled at by everyone else." Well, Ken would get yelled at more than Shinji. "There's no point in anything here!" But he wasn't going to die, not with his weapon on the ground.

[weaktobullets]

He sighed as Ken threw down the lance, glancing to the side. So he wasn't going to be killed. As reassuring as the thought was... now he had no idea what to do with himself. "...Then what. If you ain't gonna kill me

[revengeslance]

He wasn't going to kill Shinji, but that didn't mean Ken was going to leave him completely unharmed. He'd watched Akihiko train and fight enough to pick up a few things about boxing, so Ken took a deep breath and punched Shinji in the stomach as hard as he could manage. It would've been Shinji's face, but Ken wasn't tall enough for that and wouldn't be for a long time, if ever

[weaktobullets]

He took the punch with a short exhale. It wasn't too bad- after all, he was used to being punched by Akihiko. But at least it let him know that he hadn't been entirely forgiven, that Ken wasn't just stepping aside and setting down his grief. He didn't comment on the punch, simply turning to look down the alleyway. It was easier than eye contact.

The emergence of Ken's Persona, however, was something he hadn't expected. The man's eyes narrowed, stepped back and pulling his hands from his pocket, as though to defend against a lightning strike, or cruel attack, or, worse, Hama. But instead the Persona... shifted. His brows furrowed, wathcing an entirely new one appear. "...What..?"

...Evolution. Akihiko and Mitsuru had mentioned it. He slowly lowered his arms, still watching carefully. His persona had changed.. what, because he hadn't killed Shinjiro? From their meeting? he still didn't understand.

"...You okay?"

[revengeslance]

He couldn't completely set aside his grief and anger, but he'd decided to focus on living right now rather than on revenge or murder. That seemed like the more important thing while they were stuck here. Ken sighed afterwards and rubbed his fist.

Ken seemed just as confused by the change as Shinji was. "I...don't know," he said softly, but he knew the new name was Kala-Nemi just as certainly as he'd known Nemesis's name, though he didn't know yet what this new one could do in a fight. Confused, he rubbed his head for a moment.

"I'm fine...but that was sorta weird."

[weaktobullets]

He paused, glancing to Ken. Had they not told him. "...Aki said his Persona changed." He rolled a shoulder. "...After I died back home. S'why he's got Caesar instead've Polydeuces." Fuck if Shinji knew why-- other than Aki "missing him". But he doubted the reasoning was anywhere near the same for Ken. It was something he'd have to ask about later. "...Mitsuru too, but fuck if I know why."

Still, a part of it bothered him. Would they all have changed personas? Probably everyone except him, really-- he had no reason for it, what with the whole 'being dead' thing.

After an extended pause, he gestured towards the mouth of the alley. "...You gonna stay out here, or come back home?" He probably needed to call Aki, anyway, let him know that he wasn't bleeding to death... Well. it was early enough, they could always just head back.

[revengeslance]

"Nobody told me that part," he said as he shook his head. How much else had changed after October that Ken was missing out on? He still felt weird being behind everyone else in the big timeline. "But that new one is Kala-Nemi. I wonder how good it is when I need to use it." Mitsuru had said not to use their Personas, so Ken had been sticking to his lance whenever he ended up outside at night.

Ken didn't know why it'd happened, just that it did and he'd have to get used to the differences in battle at some point. That time would happen sooner than expected as creatures oozed into the alley they were in. "Go home after we deal with those things!"

[weaktobullets]

He shrugged, glancing up sharply at the appearance of monsters. The man rolled his eyes for a moment-- really, of all times, now they had to attack. He grabbed his evoker from his pocket, bringing it swiftly to his temple. There was no reason to be scared of using his Persona with the medication, right? And he had no other weapons. Mitsuru would understand.

The crack of gunfire echoed down the alley, though was quickly overshadowed by the creak of iron and inhuman cry of a Persona as Castor appeared and leapt forward. Upon contacting the ground, a swift red blaze plumed out from its hoof, striking the monsters around them. Shinjiro wasted no time in cuffing Ken's shoulder, gesturing towards home.

"I ain't wasting time with this shit, let's get." After all, they had minimal healing and only the two of them-- and he had no idea how he and Ken would operate as a team. better to get home quickly, before he had to devour too much of his strength to feed Castor's attacks.

[revengeslance]

Ken picked up his lance in a hurry and watched for a moment when Shinji summoned his Persona. Seeing Castor didn't happen very often, but he couldn't afford to stare for long. This wasn't like nights out as a team -- there were just the two of them and without Minako to lead properly, who knew what would happen?

But he had to do one thing first. Nemesis had been able to heal, so Ken assumed the new Persona would have similar skills. He drew his own evoker, fired it, and watched in slight amazement as the much bigger Persona showed up to heal Shinji. "Mitsuru-san won't yell at you now," he muttered. That was as much to cover for himself as it was to help.

Now, the only thing to do was get home.

[weaktobullets]

He glanced over in surprise at the heal spell, though Ken's reasoning made sense. Shinjiro supposed that it was more so Mitsuru wouldn't yell at Ken, but whatever. He was sure they'd just be happy he was alive, regardless of the state he was in. "...little shit," He let out an amused scoff, before continuing out of the alley.

"We can run faster'an a lot've them, if some come at us, knock 'em back and keep going." Easy enough-- it wasn't as though they had never been out at night and had never fought monsters, after all.

And with that, he took to the street, making sure to keep Ken in sight.

[revengeslance]

Ken didn't need a lecture from Mitsuru either way, so he'd be glad to just get home. They were both alive, which was likely to be surprise enough for the rest of S.E.E.S.

"I know." He might be small, but he wasn't a slow runner. He followed Shinji. occasionally pausing to swing his lance at something that got too close for comfort. It wasn't much different from running away from Shadows.