o5 - text & video

[stoicloyalty]

[ Something has been bothering her since the Core started to yank newcomers back. It has taken days for Chane to gather her thoughts completely, whilst distracted by daily life-- getting started with work, fixing up the minor damage from the earthquake... Her words seem resolved to communicate what she can, although still fragile with uncertainty

Comments

Text

[presspasskey]

I think one fear is that-- well, there's got to be something out there in the Darkness that doesn't leave a body. It's a scary thought, and I think some people have to tell themselves people go home to keep that hope alive.

As for stronger than missing them--

I guess there's always grieving for the life you had with them, or might have had. There's a future lost in that, from your perspective.

That tends to be something people grieve about.

text;

[stoicloyalty]

Because people imagine a future together with other newcomers...? Despite knowing that they could disappear home any day?

There must be very strong feelings in the first place to allow yourself to grieve over something you never had.

... As for the Darkness, I had not considered that. The most minimal evidence I have seen is nothing but blood left of the victim. Admittedly I have been avoiding the Darkness.

Re: text;

[presspasskey]

Well, if there's only blood left, then either you need a blood-identifying superpower or having their DNA on file and a blood test. So that's approximately the same as no body, I guess.

Why not imagine it? If we have no control over whether or not we go home, might as well expect not to be going anywhere for a while.

And a future's one of the those things people try to keep hold of.

text;

[stoicloyalty]

Yes. Where I came from, I was not often in contact with superpowered individuals, so body disposal was rather basic. A blood-identifying superpower...

[ Her writing slows down. This is a lot to take in-- figures that when she asks for clarification, she receives, but she only feels more puzzled by this information. Imagining, hoping... ]

I have not... held hopes for the future. The future is not tangible. People in the present are, but I can't-...

[ There, she trails off for lack of understanding her own view on this. ]

Audio.

[sergeantperks]

It's a bit of a shock to have someone there and then to lose them. When someone dies you know that they won't be coming back, but when someone leaves you don't know what's going to happen at home, or if you're going to see them again.

That's just my experience, though. Maybe other people think differently.

text;

[stoicloyalty]

I know.

Perhaps that uncertainty is what triggers this. I felt that way when I first arrived here. Back in my world, the person dearest to me could talk to me even when he was far away. Here, he cannot, but I know that he is well. That is the one thing I am certain of.

Everybody is different...

Voice

[sergeantperks]

Everybody is different. But uncertainty scares people.

text;

[stoicloyalty]

I suppose-- when people are powerless to find out about the ones they want to protect...

Yes. It is scary.

[voice]

[frankengambler]

It's because people are selfish and dumb. You might say that you want them to be safe and secure, but if you feel that strongly for someone, what you really want is them to be with you. Because they make you happy- it's where they belong in your eyes. And then you get it into your head that you can protect them even when you can't.

[Kaiji's voice is low and quiet- too low, too quiet for any stray emotions to creep in and betray him.

He never got to see the bodies with Sahara and Ishida and the others on the bridge. Of course they're dead- he never had any hope for them- but he never had any closure. They were just there one second and then... gone. Disappeared without a trace.]

For someone to be alive and well but not there... or to not know what's happened to them... sometimes it's worse. When you wake up one day and suddenly there's nothing there, what can you do?

text;

[stoicloyalty]

[ Once it is put it in terms of wanting to protect others, keeping them close to you for that reason, it clicks together and makes a little more sense. The main hurdle to her understanding, no matter how many people explain, is the notion of making these close bonds with strangers. People from other worlds. Protection, however-- completely relatable. ]

Not knowing...

At home I always knew how the one I protected was faring. I was always there to protect the ones who cared for me in person.

[ Not being there, not knowing-- she thinks of those she left behind in Manhattan, and feels a pang. Her situation is not so different after all. ]

It's different now. There are not many people in the Port whom I want to protect, but... I think I know what you mean.

[voice forever]

[frankengambler]

Makes you feel helpless. You could have all the power in the world, all the money and all the support you wanted over here but it doesn't mean shit when the one you care about isn't even in the same universe as you. [sigh] It's meaningless. Like a peacock swaggering around in an empty garden.

All you can do here is keep hold of the people you care about until the Core decides to take them away. It's not like an assassin you can catch or a disease you can prevent- you can't stop it.

text forever;

[stoicloyalty]

[ Chane has to pause. His words bring up exactly what she had been avoiding confronting in her time here, and it's-- more than painful, because the ache she feels has that added twist of helplessness spoken aloud. The people she left behind at that moment when she finally felt it was acceptable to want to protect them, and the knowledge that the Core poses an alternate, immutable danger to life as well as death...

She doesn't know what to say. But she tries. ]

Sorry.

boarding house filter;

[tinderfoot]

Wait, so you just baked for everyone?

video & text; boarding house filter;

[stoicloyalty]

For anybody who wants some.

... Shall I save you a slice?

video; boarding house filter;

[tinderfoot]

Yes, please. [He mustn't forget his manners, now.] When can I come over?

video & text; boarding house filter;

[stoicloyalty]

Whenever you like. It'll cool down if you leave it too long. I am in the kitchen.

[voice]

[12second_orz]

Feeling particularly philosophical today, or did something happen?

text;

[stoicloyalty]

It was bothering me. I only gathered my thoughts on it today.

[voice]

[12second_orz]

Human behaviour is difficult enough to parse without also having to put it through the machine of the Core's mechanics. Fascinating, though. What do you think now, having heard a few opinions?

text;

[stoicloyalty]

... Confused. Opinions can be difficult to sort from unbiased fact, but they seem as though they could be just as valid. I feel that all of these are possibilities.

I can think about the mechanics, but I cannot feel the same way as these people, knowing that.