017 | Video

[ebony_mask]

[Black Mask is sitting in a leather office chair, petting a kitten: a pink Siamese with gold eyes, a gray-white blotch of fur on its face, and black ears and tail. The animal curled up in his lap looks quite pleased to be there--the obvious mutual affection may be unnerving.]I lost custody of my goddamn sea monkeys, and my elf is a sex slave, so I

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[ysobritish]

...

[Liquid sits, his hands folded in his lap, in a church pew opposite the NV.]

Ah, so that's where that little womanizing stray went.

[Banana, in all her pale grey stubbornness, hops up behind him.]

Drowning it isn't a good idea. Banana would be most unhappy if the father of her children died.

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[ebony_mask]

Say what?

[ysobritish]

[Liquid lightly gestures to the cat behind him.]

The little stray was hanging around the church the other day and decided to have some fun with one of Ocelot's pets.

...well. My pets, now. So do be careful who you sell it to. I'd hate to see those children orphaned.

[ebony_mask]

The other day? And there's kittens already?

[A pause.]

So I've got a mutant cat on my hands?

[ysobritish]

They're not born yet, no. Banana told me. It'll be a few weeks yet.

[He scritches the cat under its chin and it mews. Liquid casually mews back to it, entirely at least.]

...it's definitely not a normal cat, that's for sure.

[ebony_mask]

...you can talk to animals...?

[ysobritish]

Only cats. Father taught me how. I'm not sure where he learnt it.

...that one, I can't talk to, however. I thought it was just too young, since it's small, but it's clearly old enough.

[ebony_mask]

[Flatly; he clearly doesn't believe Liquid.]

Maybe it's a different dialect.

[ysobritish]

Unlikely. It's a very easy language to learn. Very free of complications.

[He mews something to Banana, who sits up on her haunches and waves a paw at her baby-daddy.]

Maybe it's been braindamaged or something. Banana couldn't understand it either.

[ebony_mask]

[Points a finger at Banana.]

That is fucking creepy.

[ysobritish]

Don't be mean to her. You're lucky she can't understand human.

[He picks the cat up, holding her in his arms so she cuddles up to his chest.]

[ebony_mask]

Oh yeah, totally lucky. What's she gonna do, steal my breath when I'm sleeping?

[ysobritish]

Never underestimate a scorned woman.

...she's more likely to go for the balls.

[ebony_mask]

She's a goddamn cat, Liquid, not a person.

[ysobritish]

...and your point is?

[Blink. Blink. Not getting it.]

[ebony_mask]

Nevermind.

Why the hell is she named Banana? That's the stupidest name for a cat I've ever heard.