[fic: "I Raised an Army of Pickpocketing Squirrels!", Rated MA. Twitch City, Curtis/Hope/Newbie]
Title: I Raised an Army of Pickpocketing Squirrels!
Author: sionnain
Fandom: Twitch City
Pairing: Curtis/Hope/Newbie
Rating: MA.
Warnings: Porn and bizarre humor? IDEK. ::hands::
Word Count: 2800
Summary: Today on Rex Reilly--Threesomes: Awkward or Awesome?
AN: For Meresy's C6D Porn Tag! I was given the prompt "floored" by the lovely Luzula. This is for the lovely Mrs_laugh_track, who is awesome and fantastic, and who also beta'd this. Because she's just that awesome, okay? Also my thanks to inlovewithnight, for reading things even when she's seen two episodes of the show. She is also awesome.
I Raised an Army of Pickpocketing Squirrels!
The thing about threesomes, Hope realizes midway through one, is that no one ever mentions how they're kind of awkward. Not the sharing part, she's fine with that, but the part where there are all these limbs to arrange and it's...well, it's a little stressful.
They're in her room, the three of them together on her small bed, which is a little strange because Newbie and Curtis both have bigger beds than she does. Hope is in the center of it, lying against Newbie, with Curtis stretched out half on top of her. When she stops to think about what they're doing, it makes her blush and want to start giggling. But she's pretty sure laughing in bed with a man is a bad idea, so laughing in bed with two of them has to be worse.
And the kissing part of this, out on the couch, well--that was the easy part. She likes kissing Curtis, likes stretching out on top of his long, lean body, feeling his hands tighten on her hips and his body harden beneath hers. And when Newbie came in, ducking his head and mumbling an apology for interrupting, Hope just waved him over. He sprawled on the floor and she rubbed lightly at his unnaturally bond hair, fingers sliding through the stiff spikes, then leaned down to kiss him like it was the most natural thing in the whole world.
Curtis had his hand up her shirt, and she heard him breathe in, sharp and quick, when she kissed Newbie. Newbie, who tasted like grape bubblegum and kissed her back so hard, she could barely breathe. And then she was hot and Curtis was taking off her shirt, and suddenly they were all in her bedroom getting naked, jostling each other for space, stripping and apologizing for the elbows and the getting in each other's way. Curtis accidentally knocked Newbie into her bedside table when he was trying to get her on the bed, and Hope almost kneed Curtis somewhere very bad when Newbie moved on the bed behind her.
But now they're here, naked, and the light from her little bedside lamp is dim but it's just enough so that she can see, so she won't miss anything.
"You're so pretty," Newbie tells her, voice low, and when Hope wriggles she can feel his cock hard against her lower back. His hands are stroking lightly up and down her arms, tentative, darting close to her breast and then away. Like she might tell him to stop if he touches her. "Isn't she, Curtis?"
Curtis is licking slow and lazy at her breast, tonguing her nipple. "Mmm," he says appreciatively, dark eyes glancing upwards. Newbie's fingers drift closer to where he's licking, and Hope gasps softly as Curtis moves away from her nipple and sucks Newbie's fingers into his mouth. She writhes a little, hooks one leg over Curtis's and rubs herself against his thigh while he sucks on Newbie's fingers. Newbie bucks his hips just a little and groans.
"There was a show about this," Newbie says, all breathless, shifting his legs a little to make room for Hope and Curtis. "Rex Reilly. About--oh, fuck--threesomes. And--and--it was--episode--oh--."
Curtis looks up at him, mumbles something around his fingers. fifiiffityhfen.
Hope tilts her head, looks up Newbie. His eyes are blurry and he's panting, but he shakes his head. "No, not that one. That was the one about the woman who trained the squirrels. You know. To steal money from the kids at the ice cream truck?"
She looks back down at Curtis, who lets Newbie's fingers slide out of his mouth slow. He takes Newbie's hand and rubs his long, wet fingers over Hope's other nipple. Hope gasps and bites her lip. "I Raised an Army of Pickpocketing Squirrels," Curtis says. Then he lowers his head and kisses her stomach, moving down slowly, tongue teasing at her navel.
"Who would do that to a squirrel--yes, oh--" Hope twists, resting her heel low on Curtis' back as he moves down her body, breath warm against her skin. Newbie lowers his head and kisses her shoulder; Hope tilts her head to give him room, shivering a little.
"She had a problem getting her husband's pension," Newbie says, licking a hot trail up her neck to kiss her ear. "She was broke."
Curtis' mouth is between her legs, his body mostly hanging off the bed with his feet braced against the floor. His tongue is on the inside of her thigh, now, driving her crazy.
Hope takes a breath to speak. "Well, why doesn't she--"
Curtis nips at her skin, lightly. Hope cries out and her body arches; Curtis' warm hands slide up to hold her thighs open.
"Hold still, Hope," he says, sounding like he does sometimes when she forgets and steps in front the television, or the one time she forgot and brought home Chocolate A's instead of Frooty O's. "Newbie, can't you keep her still?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry," Newbie says, and anchors her with his hands covering her breasts. Hope's not sure that's really going to work, but then Curtis' mouth is between her legs, tongue glancing over her clit and oh, oh, who cares if it works or not? "Not like you could get a lot of money out of kids with an ice cream truck," Newbie says, pinching lightly at her nipples.
Curtis raises his head. "I don't know, I saw a program about rising inflation and snack food production--"
"Curtis," Hope moans, reaching down to tangle her fingers in his messy hair, trying to pull him back.
"Right," Curtis says, lowering his head again. He licks at her, sucks her clit oh-so-lightly, and Newbie's mouth is on her neck, his fingers rubbing slow circles on her nipples. Hope twists, coming so hard her legs kick out and she knocks Curtis off the bed entirely, sending him sprawling to the floor. "Hope!"
"I'm sorry!" Hope gasps out, leaning back against Newbie as she struggles to catch her breath. Her body is flushed, tingling still from her orgasm. "I'm sorry, Curtis."
Curtis looks hilarious on the floor, a tangle of limbs, mouth parted and wet. "It's all right." He manages to right himself and leans up, kissing her, touching the side of her face lightly. Hope tastes herself on his lips, which makes her blush even though he can't see. She pulls away and moves, urging him forward, watching as he leans past her and kisses Newbie. She tries to wriggle out from between them, but she can't, she's trapped between the two of them.
Eventually, it gets a little uncomfortable. Not because of what they're doing--no, Hope is just fine with that, she's not crazy--but because her arm is bent back a little and she's warm and needs to catch her breath, and besides--she's generous, she wants to give them room. She ends up sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up, watching.
Curtis doesn't kiss Newbie like he kisses her. Curtis kisses Newbie like maybe he's trying to talk to him, tell him something, some fact about which Curtis is obviously right and Newbie is obviously very wrong. Hope watches this for a long time, the way Newbie grabs and digs his fingers into the muscles of Curtis' back. But then his fingers are shoving instead of grasping, pushing Curtis away. "Was it episode four-thirteen?"
Curtis has one hand on the back of Newbie's neck, the other in his hair. He blinks, disoriented. "What?"
"The one about threesomes."
Curtis stares at him, then shakes his head and leans in again. "I told you. Six-fifty-seven." He leans forward and sucks Newbie's bottom lip into his mouth. His hand moves away from Newbie's hair and down, over his chest, his stomach. Hope watches the way Newbie's muscles stomach tighten as Curtis' hand moves, as he takes Newbie's cock firmly in hand and beginning to stroke.
"Mmph." Newbie moves away from Curtis' mouth, head back, eyes closed. "Squirrel army--Jesus, yeah."
Curtis leans forward and bites him on the shoulder. Newbie shoves his head away. "Hey! Ow. Freak."
Curtis tackles him back, which knocks the lamp off her bedside table. Hope manages to only just catch it, placing it safely on the floor. She turns back to see Curtis lying on top of Newbie, moving his hips, muttering something that sounds an awful lot like I will show you the episode about threesomes when we're done, now shut up into his neck as he pushes his hips rhythmically against Newbie's, rubbing their cocks together, the two of them breathing harsh and loud in the quiet room.
"Was it really an army?" Hope asks curiously a few minutes later. She's on the floor, but now she's on her hands and knees on a pillow. Curtis is kneeling behind her, his hands anchoring her hips steady, rubbing his cock against her. Newbie is in front of her on the bed, legs spread. He's leaning back on his elbows, his hair sticking up in one million improbably-constructed angles. Hope has one hand on his cock, the other playing gently with his balls.
"With the threesome?" Newbie asks, looking down and breathing hard as Hope leans forward and takes his cock in her mouth, slow, keeping her gaze on his. "Nah, it was just regular people. Civilians."
"She means the squirrels," Curtis clarifies, and his fingers tighten and Hope makes a small whimpering sound around Newbie's cock as she feels Curtis slide his cock inside her, perfect, perfect.
"Oh." Newbie's fingers slid up into her hair, moving her, thrusting himself a little into her mouth. "Actually, they were more like vigilantes. Christ, Hope, you're so good at that. Jesus." His other hand reaches down, fingers tracing along her lips, feeling her mouth stretched tight around him.
Hope swirls her tongue around the head of Newbie's cock, uses a little teeth. Some guys like that. Nathan didn't, but Curtis does. Newbie seems to, too, fingers tightening and pulling hard at her hair. Curtis thrusts forward and she moves with the force of it, the head of Newbie's cock hitting the back of her throat.
"Fuck, Hope," Curtis says in a choked voice.
"That's what you're doing," Newbie says, as if Curtis is an idiot. Curtis makes an exasperated sound and Hope giggles, pulling back to smile up at Newbie.
"Silly," she chides, and he smiles sheepishly down at her and tugs on the back of her neck to bring her closer again.
Hope opens her mouth, and the only sound is Curtis' harsh breathing as he fucks her, Newbie's soft groans as Hope sucks his cock enthusiastically, her own little whimpers as Curtis fucks her good and perfect from behind. And they are moving together with easy grace, even in this small space, cramped and confined as it is, all awkwardness forgotten and far away.
Hope slides her fingers up Newbie's cock as she sucks him, her other hand braced on his thigh. Curtis has one hand on her hip and the other on the small of her back, sliding up and down, and she can tell he's close from the sounds he's making. Her body is warm and damp with sweat, and despite the pillow her knees are beginning to hurt just a little.
When Newbie comes, he murmurs something unintelligible that is maybe her name and spills warm down her throat, fingers tightening a little too hard in her hair. She stays with him, swallows, then he pulls out gently and runs his thumb sweetly over her bottom lip. He's flushed and it takes him a moment to catch his breath. Curtis is fucking her hard now, thrusts erratic.
"Kind of a sad thing, what happened to the lady with the squirrels," Newbie says when he can talk again. He gives Curtis a brilliant, crooked grin. "Remember? They showed it on that Where Are They Now episode, seven-thirty-eight?"
Curtis makes a sound like a choked laugh and a groan from behind her, thrusts slowing a bit. "Shut up." He pauses briefly. "And it was seven-thirty-five."
Newbie giggles. "So the squirrels, right, they get addicted to the ice cream? 'Cause they attacked all the kids and steal their money, and the kids were screaming--ahhh, squirrels!--so they dropped they ice cream and ran away."
"I thought the squirrels--were--pickpockets," Hope manages, her head falling forward. "Oh, God--pickpockets are sneaky--harder, oh--"
"Dunno. Maybe they just said that for dramatic irony. Anyway, the squirrels brought the lady the money and ate the ice cream. But one day, the old lady went outside with her own ice cream, and, well--"
Hope misses the next part, because Curtis thrusts hard and perfect once, twice, three times and that's it, she's coming, falling forward against her bed as the tension breaks. Curtis follows her down, resting lightly on top of her, face pressed against her back. She feels him smooth her hair away from her ear, and then he kisses her lightly, right on her pulse. "Mmm. Good girl," he says softly, and Hope smiles, content.
It's not until later, when they are lying sort of smooshed together on her bed, that she remembers what Newbie was saying. "What happened?" she asks lazily, turning her head to look at Newbie behind her, who is drawing lazy patterns on her back. "With the lady and the squirrel army?"
"Oh." Newbie, who looks more relaxed than Hope usually sees him, gives an easy-going shrug. "She went outside eating ice cream--I said that part, right? About the ice cream?"
Hope nods. "Right."
"And then the squirrels rushed her, 'cause they wanted to steal it. Y'know, 'cause of how they were trained? And they bit her 'cause she wouldn't let them have it. Also probably because she was in a housecoat and didn't have any money." Curtis pauses for effect. "And then she got rabies and died."
Curtis, upon whom Hope is mostly lying, lifts his head. "Nobody dies of rabies anymore. They have a shot for that."
"Okay, smart guy, maybe they do got a shot for that, but all I know is--this lady died."
"No, she didn't." Curtis has an arm around her, his thumb rubbing over the back of her neck.
"Yes, she did."
"She was on the show--"
"--No, someone sent in a clip they took of the squirrels attacking her, I remember it, it was a neighbor who said the squirrels stole a total of forty-seven dollars from her kid over the last year, and then the kid showed up on I'm Too Fat for Summer Camp and--"
"Fine, fine, I can see you're not going to listen and we'll just have to find it." Curtis moves, shifting her gently off of her, giving her a somewhat distracted kiss as he gets off the bed and starts rummaging around the floor for his clothes. He pulls on Newbie's shirt by mistake, which Hope thinks is cute and doesn't mention.
Newbie scrambles up, all energetic, tripping over his feet in his hurry. He stumbles forward and knocks against the lamp on the floor, hitting it against the wall. Hope hears it breaks and sighs. Oh, well. She found that shade in a dumpster behind the convenience store. Maybe she'll find another one, too. It's irregular-sized, though, so maybe not. Newbie pulls on his boxers and jeans, and then turns and kisses her quickly, pecking her forehead like a hummingbird before bounding after Curtis through her bedroom door.
And Hope had a good time--it was really good sex despite the lamp and her knees and the fact she maybe pulled a muscle somewhere--but she's tired, so instead of following them out to the living room she listens to the sound of their voices arguing, hears the television click on, and falls asleep.
Author: sionnain
Fandom: Twitch City
Pairing: Curtis/Hope/Newbie
Rating: MA.
Warnings: Porn and bizarre humor? IDEK. ::hands::
Word Count: 2800
Summary: Today on Rex Reilly--Threesomes: Awkward or Awesome?
AN: For Meresy's C6D Porn Tag! I was given the prompt "floored" by the lovely Luzula. This is for the lovely Mrs_laugh_track, who is awesome and fantastic, and who also beta'd this. Because she's just that awesome, okay? Also my thanks to inlovewithnight, for reading things even when she's seen two episodes of the show. She is also awesome.
I Raised an Army of Pickpocketing Squirrels!
The thing about threesomes, Hope realizes midway through one, is that no one ever mentions how they're kind of awkward. Not the sharing part, she's fine with that, but the part where there are all these limbs to arrange and it's...well, it's a little stressful.
They're in her room, the three of them together on her small bed, which is a little strange because Newbie and Curtis both have bigger beds than she does. Hope is in the center of it, lying against Newbie, with Curtis stretched out half on top of her. When she stops to think about what they're doing, it makes her blush and want to start giggling. But she's pretty sure laughing in bed with a man is a bad idea, so laughing in bed with two of them has to be worse.
And the kissing part of this, out on the couch, well--that was the easy part. She likes kissing Curtis, likes stretching out on top of his long, lean body, feeling his hands tighten on her hips and his body harden beneath hers. And when Newbie came in, ducking his head and mumbling an apology for interrupting, Hope just waved him over. He sprawled on the floor and she rubbed lightly at his unnaturally bond hair, fingers sliding through the stiff spikes, then leaned down to kiss him like it was the most natural thing in the whole world.
Curtis had his hand up her shirt, and she heard him breathe in, sharp and quick, when she kissed Newbie. Newbie, who tasted like grape bubblegum and kissed her back so hard, she could barely breathe. And then she was hot and Curtis was taking off her shirt, and suddenly they were all in her bedroom getting naked, jostling each other for space, stripping and apologizing for the elbows and the getting in each other's way. Curtis accidentally knocked Newbie into her bedside table when he was trying to get her on the bed, and Hope almost kneed Curtis somewhere very bad when Newbie moved on the bed behind her.
But now they're here, naked, and the light from her little bedside lamp is dim but it's just enough so that she can see, so she won't miss anything.
"You're so pretty," Newbie tells her, voice low, and when Hope wriggles she can feel his cock hard against her lower back. His hands are stroking lightly up and down her arms, tentative, darting close to her breast and then away. Like she might tell him to stop if he touches her. "Isn't she, Curtis?"
Curtis is licking slow and lazy at her breast, tonguing her nipple. "Mmm," he says appreciatively, dark eyes glancing upwards. Newbie's fingers drift closer to where he's licking, and Hope gasps softly as Curtis moves away from her nipple and sucks Newbie's fingers into his mouth. She writhes a little, hooks one leg over Curtis's and rubs herself against his thigh while he sucks on Newbie's fingers. Newbie bucks his hips just a little and groans.
"There was a show about this," Newbie says, all breathless, shifting his legs a little to make room for Hope and Curtis. "Rex Reilly. About--oh, fuck--threesomes. And--and--it was--episode--oh--."
Curtis looks up at him, mumbles something around his fingers. fifiiffityhfen.
Hope tilts her head, looks up Newbie. His eyes are blurry and he's panting, but he shakes his head. "No, not that one. That was the one about the woman who trained the squirrels. You know. To steal money from the kids at the ice cream truck?"
She looks back down at Curtis, who lets Newbie's fingers slide out of his mouth slow. He takes Newbie's hand and rubs his long, wet fingers over Hope's other nipple. Hope gasps and bites her lip. "I Raised an Army of Pickpocketing Squirrels," Curtis says. Then he lowers his head and kisses her stomach, moving down slowly, tongue teasing at her navel.
"Who would do that to a squirrel--yes, oh--" Hope twists, resting her heel low on Curtis' back as he moves down her body, breath warm against her skin. Newbie lowers his head and kisses her shoulder; Hope tilts her head to give him room, shivering a little.
"She had a problem getting her husband's pension," Newbie says, licking a hot trail up her neck to kiss her ear. "She was broke."
Curtis' mouth is between her legs, his body mostly hanging off the bed with his feet braced against the floor. His tongue is on the inside of her thigh, now, driving her crazy.
Hope takes a breath to speak. "Well, why doesn't she--"
Curtis nips at her skin, lightly. Hope cries out and her body arches; Curtis' warm hands slide up to hold her thighs open.
"Hold still, Hope," he says, sounding like he does sometimes when she forgets and steps in front the television, or the one time she forgot and brought home Chocolate A's instead of Frooty O's. "Newbie, can't you keep her still?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry," Newbie says, and anchors her with his hands covering her breasts. Hope's not sure that's really going to work, but then Curtis' mouth is between her legs, tongue glancing over her clit and oh, oh, who cares if it works or not? "Not like you could get a lot of money out of kids with an ice cream truck," Newbie says, pinching lightly at her nipples.
Curtis raises his head. "I don't know, I saw a program about rising inflation and snack food production--"
"Curtis," Hope moans, reaching down to tangle her fingers in his messy hair, trying to pull him back.
"Right," Curtis says, lowering his head again. He licks at her, sucks her clit oh-so-lightly, and Newbie's mouth is on her neck, his fingers rubbing slow circles on her nipples. Hope twists, coming so hard her legs kick out and she knocks Curtis off the bed entirely, sending him sprawling to the floor. "Hope!"
"I'm sorry!" Hope gasps out, leaning back against Newbie as she struggles to catch her breath. Her body is flushed, tingling still from her orgasm. "I'm sorry, Curtis."
Curtis looks hilarious on the floor, a tangle of limbs, mouth parted and wet. "It's all right." He manages to right himself and leans up, kissing her, touching the side of her face lightly. Hope tastes herself on his lips, which makes her blush even though he can't see. She pulls away and moves, urging him forward, watching as he leans past her and kisses Newbie. She tries to wriggle out from between them, but she can't, she's trapped between the two of them.
Eventually, it gets a little uncomfortable. Not because of what they're doing--no, Hope is just fine with that, she's not crazy--but because her arm is bent back a little and she's warm and needs to catch her breath, and besides--she's generous, she wants to give them room. She ends up sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up, watching.
Curtis doesn't kiss Newbie like he kisses her. Curtis kisses Newbie like maybe he's trying to talk to him, tell him something, some fact about which Curtis is obviously right and Newbie is obviously very wrong. Hope watches this for a long time, the way Newbie grabs and digs his fingers into the muscles of Curtis' back. But then his fingers are shoving instead of grasping, pushing Curtis away. "Was it episode four-thirteen?"
Curtis has one hand on the back of Newbie's neck, the other in his hair. He blinks, disoriented. "What?"
"The one about threesomes."
Curtis stares at him, then shakes his head and leans in again. "I told you. Six-fifty-seven." He leans forward and sucks Newbie's bottom lip into his mouth. His hand moves away from Newbie's hair and down, over his chest, his stomach. Hope watches the way Newbie's muscles stomach tighten as Curtis' hand moves, as he takes Newbie's cock firmly in hand and beginning to stroke.
"Mmph." Newbie moves away from Curtis' mouth, head back, eyes closed. "Squirrel army--Jesus, yeah."
Curtis leans forward and bites him on the shoulder. Newbie shoves his head away. "Hey! Ow. Freak."
Curtis tackles him back, which knocks the lamp off her bedside table. Hope manages to only just catch it, placing it safely on the floor. She turns back to see Curtis lying on top of Newbie, moving his hips, muttering something that sounds an awful lot like I will show you the episode about threesomes when we're done, now shut up into his neck as he pushes his hips rhythmically against Newbie's, rubbing their cocks together, the two of them breathing harsh and loud in the quiet room.
"Was it really an army?" Hope asks curiously a few minutes later. She's on the floor, but now she's on her hands and knees on a pillow. Curtis is kneeling behind her, his hands anchoring her hips steady, rubbing his cock against her. Newbie is in front of her on the bed, legs spread. He's leaning back on his elbows, his hair sticking up in one million improbably-constructed angles. Hope has one hand on his cock, the other playing gently with his balls.
"With the threesome?" Newbie asks, looking down and breathing hard as Hope leans forward and takes his cock in her mouth, slow, keeping her gaze on his. "Nah, it was just regular people. Civilians."
"She means the squirrels," Curtis clarifies, and his fingers tighten and Hope makes a small whimpering sound around Newbie's cock as she feels Curtis slide his cock inside her, perfect, perfect.
"Oh." Newbie's fingers slid up into her hair, moving her, thrusting himself a little into her mouth. "Actually, they were more like vigilantes. Christ, Hope, you're so good at that. Jesus." His other hand reaches down, fingers tracing along her lips, feeling her mouth stretched tight around him.
Hope swirls her tongue around the head of Newbie's cock, uses a little teeth. Some guys like that. Nathan didn't, but Curtis does. Newbie seems to, too, fingers tightening and pulling hard at her hair. Curtis thrusts forward and she moves with the force of it, the head of Newbie's cock hitting the back of her throat.
"Fuck, Hope," Curtis says in a choked voice.
"That's what you're doing," Newbie says, as if Curtis is an idiot. Curtis makes an exasperated sound and Hope giggles, pulling back to smile up at Newbie.
"Silly," she chides, and he smiles sheepishly down at her and tugs on the back of her neck to bring her closer again.
Hope opens her mouth, and the only sound is Curtis' harsh breathing as he fucks her, Newbie's soft groans as Hope sucks his cock enthusiastically, her own little whimpers as Curtis fucks her good and perfect from behind. And they are moving together with easy grace, even in this small space, cramped and confined as it is, all awkwardness forgotten and far away.
Hope slides her fingers up Newbie's cock as she sucks him, her other hand braced on his thigh. Curtis has one hand on her hip and the other on the small of her back, sliding up and down, and she can tell he's close from the sounds he's making. Her body is warm and damp with sweat, and despite the pillow her knees are beginning to hurt just a little.
When Newbie comes, he murmurs something unintelligible that is maybe her name and spills warm down her throat, fingers tightening a little too hard in her hair. She stays with him, swallows, then he pulls out gently and runs his thumb sweetly over her bottom lip. He's flushed and it takes him a moment to catch his breath. Curtis is fucking her hard now, thrusts erratic.
"Kind of a sad thing, what happened to the lady with the squirrels," Newbie says when he can talk again. He gives Curtis a brilliant, crooked grin. "Remember? They showed it on that Where Are They Now episode, seven-thirty-eight?"
Curtis makes a sound like a choked laugh and a groan from behind her, thrusts slowing a bit. "Shut up." He pauses briefly. "And it was seven-thirty-five."
Newbie giggles. "So the squirrels, right, they get addicted to the ice cream? 'Cause they attacked all the kids and steal their money, and the kids were screaming--ahhh, squirrels!--so they dropped they ice cream and ran away."
"I thought the squirrels--were--pickpockets," Hope manages, her head falling forward. "Oh, God--pickpockets are sneaky--harder, oh--"
"Dunno. Maybe they just said that for dramatic irony. Anyway, the squirrels brought the lady the money and ate the ice cream. But one day, the old lady went outside with her own ice cream, and, well--"
Hope misses the next part, because Curtis thrusts hard and perfect once, twice, three times and that's it, she's coming, falling forward against her bed as the tension breaks. Curtis follows her down, resting lightly on top of her, face pressed against her back. She feels him smooth her hair away from her ear, and then he kisses her lightly, right on her pulse. "Mmm. Good girl," he says softly, and Hope smiles, content.
It's not until later, when they are lying sort of smooshed together on her bed, that she remembers what Newbie was saying. "What happened?" she asks lazily, turning her head to look at Newbie behind her, who is drawing lazy patterns on her back. "With the lady and the squirrel army?"
"Oh." Newbie, who looks more relaxed than Hope usually sees him, gives an easy-going shrug. "She went outside eating ice cream--I said that part, right? About the ice cream?"
Hope nods. "Right."
"And then the squirrels rushed her, 'cause they wanted to steal it. Y'know, 'cause of how they were trained? And they bit her 'cause she wouldn't let them have it. Also probably because she was in a housecoat and didn't have any money." Curtis pauses for effect. "And then she got rabies and died."
Curtis, upon whom Hope is mostly lying, lifts his head. "Nobody dies of rabies anymore. They have a shot for that."
"Okay, smart guy, maybe they do got a shot for that, but all I know is--this lady died."
"No, she didn't." Curtis has an arm around her, his thumb rubbing over the back of her neck.
"Yes, she did."
"She was on the show--"
"--No, someone sent in a clip they took of the squirrels attacking her, I remember it, it was a neighbor who said the squirrels stole a total of forty-seven dollars from her kid over the last year, and then the kid showed up on I'm Too Fat for Summer Camp and--"
"Fine, fine, I can see you're not going to listen and we'll just have to find it." Curtis moves, shifting her gently off of her, giving her a somewhat distracted kiss as he gets off the bed and starts rummaging around the floor for his clothes. He pulls on Newbie's shirt by mistake, which Hope thinks is cute and doesn't mention.
Newbie scrambles up, all energetic, tripping over his feet in his hurry. He stumbles forward and knocks against the lamp on the floor, hitting it against the wall. Hope hears it breaks and sighs. Oh, well. She found that shade in a dumpster behind the convenience store. Maybe she'll find another one, too. It's irregular-sized, though, so maybe not. Newbie pulls on his boxers and jeans, and then turns and kisses her quickly, pecking her forehead like a hummingbird before bounding after Curtis through her bedroom door.
And Hope had a good time--it was really good sex despite the lamp and her knees and the fact she maybe pulled a muscle somewhere--but she's tired, so instead of following them out to the living room she listens to the sound of their voices arguing, hears the television click on, and falls asleep.