John Egbert ≈ Eighth Windy Thing ≈ [AUDIO ==> VIDEO]

[ecto_biologist]

[So, hey Sacrosanct. That's a fairly deep, but not quite unrecognizable voice piping out of the wearable feed.]

So hey, think there might be something a bit off-kilter with the teleporters again, everyone.

[The voice seems to fiddle with something, mumbling 'why do I have this' before it resumes.]Because... yeah, I just went through one, and

Comments

[video]

[memorymodus]

[ LITTLE KID EYE PEEKING AT YOU. ]

You are big.

[video]

[fedorasheir]

[Curious eyebrow-raise]

...Uh... well, yes! I guess I suppose I am, hahah. Looks like you're trying to get a good closeup, huh?

[video]

[memorymodus]

Oh! Oops.

[ A giggle, and she sits back up. It's five year old Jade, hi. ]

Hi! My name is Jade, what's yours?

Re: [video]

[fedorasheir]

[JADE. Um.

Ok. He... he can roll with this.]

I am John! It's nice to meet you, Jade.

video;

[totallym8ture]

Nothing looks weird to meeeeeeee, John! In fact I think everything looks fine.

[HELLO JOHN. Vriska is ten sweeps old and looking so handsome and also her shirt... is not open because that would be really inappropriate?

And she's doing a flirty little fluttery fingerwave thing at you oh god what is life even.]

Transportalisers are fucked again. Dave's a bird. I'm hot. It's pretty fucking awesome.

video;

[fedorasheir]

Oh, uh. Vriska.

[...Give him a moment.]

Thanks. ...You look... uh. Amazing. [TRYING NOT TO STUMBLE ON WORDS WHAT IS THIS. Okay deep breath, calm composure, smile, raise fedora slightly.]

Though heheh... I... think I could get used to this, kind of!

...wait, Dave's a bird?

video;

[totallym8ture]

Oh. Uh. Well, uh, of course I do! I mean let's face it, I always look amazing. And you too! Obviously. Nice, uh. Nice hat, Egbert. Classy as fuck.

[WOW OKAY. Subject changes are good. Best.]

But uh. Yeah. A teeny tiny little bird! It's about as adorable as it gets. [Tiny pause.] He's probably going to pester you for food. Don't give him any, he's eaten way too much and if he pukes in my bag I might cull him.

video;

[fedorasheir]

It showed up with me when I went through the teleporter! It's pretty cool.

[Yes okay subject change before he forgets how to comprehend basic language.]

Hahah, I'll keep that in mind. Are you bringing him back to our place at Zone 8, or dropping him off at Striderpad?

[featheryasshole]

[Stare. Staaaaaaare.]

Oh my god John you are so big. I want to be big too.

[fedorasheir]

[Oh well. That explains what Vriska was talking about.]

Oh, hey Dave! You got smaller then...?

[featheryasshole]

Yeah. It's totally dumb, I'm hungry all the time. But maybe if I eat enough I'll get bigger?

[He won't and he knows it. BUT HE'LL TAKE ANY EXCUSE TO EAT MORE.]

[fedorasheir]

I heard you ate enough to turn you into a big ol' bird already, lil' bro.

[VRISKA HAS INFORMED HIM OF YOUR EXPLOITS.]

video

[sfx_balls]

[hang on he is busy staring at THAT HAT damn John since when do you have such awesome taste. And why are you so huge now goddamnit why can't Jack be tall?

Jack adjusts his vastly superior hat, scowling.]

You look like an asshole.

video

[fedorasheir]

[LET THE HAT WARS BEGIN, JACK]

Hey! I totally do not! I think I look pretty cool!

video

[sfx_balls]

[HAT WARS ARE NOW A LEGIT THING

FUCK YOU MY HAT HAS A KNIFE, I WIN]

The fuck is that? You tryin' to copy my style, kid?! [YOU DARE CHALLENGE JACK NOIR'S FASHION SENSE??????????]

video

[fedorasheir]

Copy your style? I'm just wearing what the teleporter gave me!

[SHUT UP JACK WHITE FEDORA > BLACK FEDORA]

text

[supernova1006]

oh jes its really getting widesptread!
we have to tel peple to stop using the teleporters!!!

text

[fedorasheir]

i know!
so many people haven't been warned about the whole tele-glitch yet! we best get on it!

text

[supernova1006]

i know its bad1
i tried to warn peple but its hard to ytp with these claws
nver thought id miss having human vocla chords so much!

text

[fedorasheir]

oh man, that definitely has to be a pain.
hopefully this gets fixed soon!