2 ♠ VIDEO ==> shitty filter to pinkhair!Dave (seriously just hack that shit)

[sfx_balls]

[It's definitely Jack's voice, but the video isn't aimed at him. The only thing visible is a strange broken helmet, sitting on a rock at what appears to be a beach. Nice job cleaning up after yourself, Dave.]

So how long did you think you could hide from me this time, kid? I'm not a fucking idiot. I know you're here, so why don't you stop being

Comments

[no post]

[puppetfetishist]

[... hacks this shit. Oh yes does he ever. And is he trying to ping a location trace on Jack? Yes he is.]

[no post]

[sfx_balls]

[yep, Jack cannot computer so that trace is no problem! Bro now has the coordinates for Jack's lovely beach home in Garden Zone 13.]

[no post -> action]

[puppetfetishist]

[He has no Lil Cal anymore (DAMMIT JACK). But he does have a nice generic kind of Raggedy Andy puppet he's been working on to keep his hands busy. So he is coming by to pay you a visit, Jack.

Or rather Lil Andy is. Man, how did that get in the corner of your tent?]

[action]

[sfx_balls]

[jesus christ bro STOP BEING SUCH A CREEPER sdfhdg

Sorry Lil Andy, you're getting kicked out the minute Jack notices you. He is now extremely jumpy and paranoid. The puppets are conspiring against him.]

THE ONLY THING SHE WILL EVER HACK [video]

[memorymodus]

[ She shows up on the screen, looking super confused. ]

What do you mean, what he is? He's Dave! And what's that?

[video]

[sfx_balls]

[ahahaha oh great one of the people he really didn't want to see him laying down the death threats. Now he can't rip into Dave without feeling slightly bad. Slightly.

He actually has the camera on himself now, by the way. He looks pretty displeased.]

It's private for a fucking reason, kid. Mind your own business. [bluhh he would just tell her, but he kind of used that as a threat to Dave just now, so... maybe later.]

[video]

[memorymodus]

[ She glares at the screen. ]

He's my best friend, I can poke my nose into it if I want! Now what was that?

[video]

[sfx_balls]

A helmet. Why don't you ask him yourself?

[audio]

[tempus_mutantur]

[ That voice. It's just impossible to forget. This is why he should've creeped on the network more, this wouldn't have been such a huge shock.

After a moment or two of silent seething Dave finally responds, keeping any emotion out of his voice. Yeah, voice; he's not playing Jack's game. Yet. ]

So you're still het up 'bout that Eggo incident, huh. What gives?

[audio]

[sfx_balls]

[AUDIO UGHHH WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SHOW YOU FACE SO HE CAN STOP BEING SLIGHTLY UNSURE?????

Everything that's coming out of his mouth is absolutely dripping with hate. Fuck you, Dave. Fuck you and everything you've ever known!!!!!]

Don't be a fucking smartass, your brother already ratted you out. [twisting words to be even more of a dick? check!] But if you need a reminder, it's no problem. I'm sure our audience would love to hear the whole story!

[say hi to Jade and Bro up there, kiddo]

[audio]

[tempus_mutantur]

[ Yeahhhh just ignoring that first bit. He knows Jack is a twisty cocksucker so he can't take everything the guy says at face value. Learned that the hard way already. ]

Seems you got the published edition. I'm stuck with an unfinished manuscript. [ Which is a little worrying, but he'll keep being a smartass, thank you muchly. ]

Seriously, from where I'm standin' I'm the only one with justifiable beef. Whatever I end up doin', we all know you fucking deserve it.

[audio]

[sfx_balls]

Doesn't change what happened you little shit. [he has no idea what you mean, Dave. Not that he cares.]

Not my fault you're the bane of humanity, kid, I was just doing my fucking job! Hell, I did more for you than I fucking should've! [not that it made any difference, since Bro would've died either way.]

You never should've been born, you fucking mutant freak. You've ruined enough lives already so why don't you fucking man-up and fight me!