Oh my god stop it. Just. God. This is weird enough without you trying to stop me from saying it, okay? I mean if I don't say it now I probably won't say it at all, so. Shut the fuck up.
[ Welp. Vriska is now speaking to a rather interesting spot on the wall just over your shoulder, dude. Wow, that sure is a fascinating wall right there and oh hey look wordvomit time! ]
Sorry.
[ Commence horrifyingly awkward babbling in five, four, three... ]
For killing you, obviously. I mean I think that you know I was sorry for that even if I never said it, but yeah. Now I have said it! I've put it right there on the table where everyone can see it. Well, not everyone. You and me. Whatever.
And. And I'm sorry for calling you fake. I didn't know how much it'd mess with your head or I wouldn't... Bluh, I'm lying again, I probably would still have said it. Because I'm kind of a bitch. You miiiiiiiight have noticed that! Haha. Uh. But anyway I don't really think you're fake. I mean. The way I see
( ... )
[ Uh, okay. Surprised-face is go! For a second. Before the inevitable eye-rolling, naturally. ]
Ironic. Of course. Just flapping around and getting in-between me and any of my potential hug victims, being all 'bluh bluh don't do it, Vriska, the world isn't ready. Caw. Sup.' [OH-SO CASUALLY:] Because, uh. You sure are all about the stopping-me-doing-stupid-shit thing. Uh. Right?
[ And don't think she hasn't noticed that sadface, dude. Even if she's trying not to look at it right now. Grr. >::::C ]
Oh, uh, you know me. Aaaaaaaalways having to hold back my snuggle urges. Constantly traumatising people by challenging them to hug-offs in the middle of the night. All that stuff.
[ ... ]
Uh, but, uh. I was just asking, Jegus! 'Cause trolls have a word for someone who does that. The. The looking-out-for-someone thing. Not the hug thing. That's stupid. It's called a moirail, and, uh, I don't have one. So you can be mine. If you want. And I'll be yours or whatever. Fuck knows you need one.
[ WHAT THE FUCK NO WAY SHE WAS BEING TOTALLY SUBTLE HERE HOW DID YOU KNOW AK:LKJ:LKJ
Must stay casual. Yeah. Because it's worked so well thus far, amirite? ]
Yeah, duh.
[ WAIT FUCK ]
UH. I mean. It's platonic troll romance! The, uh, pale quadrant.
[ Whew, that was closAGH FUCKSHIT ]
P-A-L-E! Not P-A-I-L. No. No buckets involved. No. God no. Fuck no. No. Just. Two stupid assholes looking out for each other and. Stuff. Like Equius and Nepeta, they're moirails.
...the shitty animal puns aren't part of it, though, that's just them being weird.
[ Wait, fuck, that sounded way too surprised. Why would this be a surprising development? She's Vriska Serket. People should be lining up to be her moirail, dammit. Yeah! ]
Uh. Guess I'll do the same for you, then. I mean. Obviously I won't be able to keep you doing all the stupid shit you do because I'd have to lock you in a closet or something, but. I'll do my best or whatever!
Um. Pretty much, yeah. Keeping each other from getting hurt or hurting other people or hurting ourselves or. Whatever. Everyone does it differently. Some people go down the bee-eff-effs for life route with the hand-holding and rainbow fistbumps and shit; some fuss and meddle and poke at each other all the time and others, uh, roleplay at being hoofbeasts and fuzzy kittens.
I'll probably just. I dunno. Punch you every time you do something stupid.
[OH HEY HUG. A tickly, nose-wrinkling hug ljkkj;lk BRB BLOWING THOSE FEATHERS AWAY FROM HER SNIFFNODES]
...Or hugs are okay too I guess whatever who cares.
Damn right it works. Alternia might've been a crapshoot, but it got some things right.
[ Just gonna. Pick stray feathery bits off her shirt now. Fucking feathers dljs;lkj. She'd been considering mentioning the whole going-back-to-the-Veil thing, but that can wait. ONE HORRIFYING CONFESSION AT A TIME, PLZ. ]
God, you're just the biggest douchebag. In a good way, I guess. Asshole.
Oh my god stop it. Just. God. This is weird enough without you trying to stop me from saying it, okay? I mean if I don't say it now I probably won't say it at all, so. Shut the fuck up.
[ Welp. Vriska is now speaking to a rather interesting spot on the wall just over your shoulder, dude. Wow, that sure is a fascinating wall right there and oh hey look wordvomit time! ]
Sorry.
[ Commence horrifyingly awkward babbling in five, four, three... ]
For killing you, obviously. I mean I think that you know I was sorry for that even if I never said it, but yeah. Now I have said it! I've put it right there on the table where everyone can see it. Well, not everyone. You and me. Whatever.
And. And I'm sorry for calling you fake. I didn't know how much it'd mess with your head or I wouldn't... Bluh, I'm lying again, I probably would still have said it. Because I'm kind of a bitch. You miiiiiiiight have noticed that! Haha. Uh. But anyway I don't really think you're fake. I mean. The way I see ( ... )
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Ironic. Of course. Just flapping around and getting in-between me and any of my potential hug victims, being all 'bluh bluh don't do it, Vriska, the world isn't ready. Caw. Sup.' [OH-SO CASUALLY:] Because, uh. You sure are all about the stopping-me-doing-stupid-shit thing. Uh. Right?
[ And don't think she hasn't noticed that sadface, dude. Even if she's trying not to look at it right now. Grr. >::::C ]
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This is so weird.]
Uh, I guess. What, are you planning on starting a hug rampage right now?
[Also you can't see the sadface. It's invisible. SHADES HIDE EVERYTHING RIGHT?]
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[ ... ]
Uh, but, uh. I was just asking, Jegus! 'Cause trolls have a word for someone who does that. The. The looking-out-for-someone thing. Not the hug thing. That's stupid. It's called a moirail, and, uh, I don't have one. So you can be mine. If you want. And I'll be yours or whatever. Fuck knows you need one.
[ SO CASUAL. SO SMOOTH. Fuck yeah. ]
Plus it'd be, like. The most ironic thing ever.
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[No, seriously, wat.]
Uh.
[WAT]
Is this one of those troll romance things?
Are. Are you asking me to.
[WAT]
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Must stay casual. Yeah. Because it's worked so well thus far, amirite? ]
Yeah, duh.
[ WAIT FUCK ]
UH. I mean. It's platonic troll romance! The, uh, pale quadrant.
[ Whew, that was closAGH FUCKSHIT ]
P-A-L-E! Not P-A-I-L. No. No buckets involved. No. God no. Fuck no. No. Just. Two stupid assholes looking out for each other and. Stuff. Like Equius and Nepeta, they're moirails.
...the shitty animal puns aren't part of it, though, that's just them being weird.
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Platonic romance. O-kay. How is that even...
[He trails off because he remembers how determined Nepeta had been to get to Equius, how she had been willing to face any danger-]
No, actually, I think I get it. It's...
Yeah. I guess I'd be okay with looking out for you, if you want.
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[ Wait, fuck, that sounded way too surprised. Why would this be a surprising development? She's Vriska Serket. People should be lining up to be her moirail, dammit. Yeah! ]
Uh. Guess I'll do the same for you, then. I mean. Obviously I won't be able to keep you doing all the stupid shit you do because I'd have to lock you in a closet or something, but. I'll do my best or whatever!
[ ... ]
Am I supposed to hug you again now?
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[...]
No, actually, you're not. Shittiest hugger ever, remember?
[And with that, he pulls out the chestsword and puts it in a corner, conveniently out of view.
And then he hugs Vriska. HOPE YOU LIKE FEATHERBEAST HUGS, CAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF FEATHERS HERE.]
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I'll probably just. I dunno. Punch you every time you do something stupid.
[OH HEY HUG. A tickly, nose-wrinkling hug ljkkj;lk BRB BLOWING THOSE FEATHERS AWAY FROM HER SNIFFNODES]
...Or hugs are okay too I guess whatever who cares.
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Okay, then. I guess that works.
[He can totally tell that she's making a face at the feathers and grins like the insufferable prick he is as he pulls back.]
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[ Just gonna. Pick stray feathery bits off her shirt now. Fucking feathers dljs;lkj. She'd been considering mentioning the whole going-back-to-the-Veil thing, but that can wait. ONE HORRIFYING CONFESSION AT A TIME, PLZ. ]
God, you're just the biggest douchebag. In a good way, I guess. Asshole.
[ <> ]
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[He stops because oh hehe his heart did get broken last week. Literally. He. He.
Okay, no. Not going to freak out over that thought. Just going to. Take a deep breath.
It's starting to dawn on Davesprite that it might actually take a pretty long time to get over.]
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[ She has no idea what just happened, but... It's obviously something bad. Right? ]
You can talk about it if you want.
[ ... ]
Or we could just threshmurder some imps on that shitty MMO to make you feel better, I guess.
[ IT WORKS FOR HER, OKAY? ]
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Yeah, shitty MMO sounds good right now.
[It's not going to make him feel much better but it's better than talking. Obviously. Talking sucks.]
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