What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.
What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?
Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size ( Read more... )

 

Father and son went hunting together For the first time. The father said: 'Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field.'

A few minutes later the father heard a Blood curdling Scream and ran back to His son. 'What's wrong?' The father Asked. 'I told you to be quiet.'

The boy, bless his heart, Answered; 'Look, I was quiet when the snake ( Read more... )

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the ( Read more... )

I stole this from Rowan ( Read more... )

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Tonight is the Imbolc ritual, which I was thinking about attending. I'm not so sure now though, due to my knee giving me problems again. Ever since I smashed it on the dash in a car accident, it has caused problems. The military wanted to do surgery back when it happened, but it was all experimental...meaning they didn't know what they were ( Read more... )

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if you can see his gun.

6. When he says ( Read more... )

Paddy had been drinking at his local
Dublin pub all day and most of the night.
   Micky, the bartender, says:
 "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy." 
Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then". 
   Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
"What the...." he says and pulls himself up by the Stool and dusts ( Read more... )

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i t over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any ( Read more... )