New York is cold, but I like where I'm living...

[silburygirl]

I love Leonard Cohen. Someone needs to smack me, as I forgot to mention him in my music meme post. How I could forget, I'm not sure, but I'm moderately certain that it signifies some sort of lack as a human being...

Was rear-ended today by some twat who didn't realise that I was stopped. At a red light. At this point, I am seriously

Comments

[novin_ha]

Leonard Cohen ♥

[silburygirl]

<3 indeed.

[shiv5468]

I will say one thing that's useful about the Rules. SOmeone who follows them won't spend time wondering about a boy that doesn't call, and will just move on. I think the idea of not being available at the drop of a hat is a good thing. Too often women get sucked into the orbit of some bloke and disappear never to be seen again.

Of course, it doesn't actually say have some backbone and get a life, which should be the point, and turns it into some tactic to keep the aforementioned waste of space.

[silburygirl]

I just have a general hatred of self-help books that occasionally explodes into rage. While there might be some actual merit, I'm too busy wondering if I can find some sort of way to scam people with my own book of useless advice...

When the reviews say things like, "I gave this book to my female friends and they were all married within a year!" my question becomes, "And when did they divorce?"

[shiv5468]

Oh me too. I had a boss who thought they were religious write. He was immensely entertaining in small doses, and quite easy to manipulate.

[silburygirl]

My boyfriend has a huge collection of leadership books, which amuses me to no end, and they're all filled with advice about how to tell people that they need to improve-"I've noticed that you're having trouble in a certain area. What can I do to help you?"

I thought of the reaction if someone tried to use the line in concrit, and nearly fell over laughing.

[shefa]

*swoons at Leonard Cohen... there are no words. He took all the good ones and put them in the right order...

Self-help books are also a particular pet-peeve of mine. Though it does depend on what sort you mean. The "here is exactly what you need to do and then your life will be perfect and totally in your control," or the "here is exactly how people work and what to do so that you never have a moment of ambiguity or uncertainty" make me want to scream. I often deprogram people after reading books like that *grins.

Only the well-done emotional support for people in specific situations that provide context and help people get through really awful times can have a place (I think). I can think of a few, if you're interested in the discussion...

[silburygirl]

I'm not a swooning sort of girl, but Leonard Cohen makes me do it anyway...

My problem with most self help books is that they either give really common sense advice that one shouldn't need to pay $20 in trade paperback to hear and understand, or, as you say, they'll tell you how to solve all of life's problems (and people) without a moment of strife... But I have a huge problem with ones that try to summarise human nature (or the man/woman divide).

Only the well-done emotional support for people in specific situations that provide context and help people get through really awful times can have a place (I think).

I think that they can, I'm just to stubborn to let them help me... :D

I'm curious about the titles though-always a handy thing to know which books are helpful.

[shefa]

Yeah, Leonard Cohen does have that ability... to make the unswoonable swoon

[silburygirl]

Excellent-I work in a bookshop, so even if I don't ever have need of them personally, having titles to suggest and order in is always handy. Especially since that section isn't one that I spend much time in, so I'm usually in the dark.

And I agree that there is a world of difference between something churned out by people who think that they understand all human relations on the basis of their own narrow experience and a qualified person responding to research. I know that there have been specific situations when I could have used some straightforward and practical advice that no one I know was equipped to give me... So good to know that there are those sorts of things out there.

[mundungus42]

I remember the kerfuffle when "The Rules" came out and was every bit as disgusted as you are now. I reckon if you behave this way to catch a man, you deserve exactly the sort of man who is intrigued by behavior like this (obsolete, misogynistic, and image-obsessed).

my question becomes, "And when did they divorce?"

When she starts sagging. Then she can buy "The Rules for Divorcees," which starts with "He left you because you farted in bed" and goes rapidly downhill. There would have to be a chapter on reasonably priced anti-aging measures for women living on alimony (because, of course, no man wants a woman who contributes money to the household! What if she makes more than he does?), including but not limited to being selected to be on an Extreme Makeover show. I should totally write that book. It would be a real shame if someone took it seriously, though.

If this has left you thirsty for more infuriating published works, check out Ann Coulter or Robert Bork's "Slouching Toward Gomorrah." They both make me spit nails.

[silburygirl]

You know what really bothers me that I didn't include above? The chaser/chasee bit of it. Yay for predatory relationships-I know that being prey turns me on!

I should totally write that book. It would be a real shame if someone took it seriously, though.

Oh, you should. I would buy it and treasure it and giggle at the illustrations, giving it to any married person I came across who followed The Rules in snagging her significant other.

I'm not sure that it's possible to prevent some people from taking everything seriously, though.

Ann Coulter makes me wish that I were religious so I could apply such terms as 'devilspawn' and 'evil incarnate' to her in good conscience. I'm not, so I have to settle for hoping that she won't be hit by an eighteen-wheeler any time soon, because that would turn her into a beloved martyr, which makes me even more ill than the alternative of letting her open her mouth.

I'll have to find Robert Bork, so that I am able to mock where appropriate.

There's also a book called To Hell with All That Loving

[mundungus42]

Okay, okay, if you haven't already come across them, you need to check out Ladies Against Women. Talk about brilliant satire.

As for Ann Coulter, I'm holding out for her to go into massive renal failure from her excess of bile. Or maybe she'll have an aneurysm after the next presidential election!

[silburygirl]

Yes! Awesome! I nearly killed myself laughing.

As for Ann Coulter, I'm holding out for her to go into massive renal failure from her excess of bile. Or maybe she'll have an aneurysm after the next presidential election!

Both would be fitting ends, but I'll put my money on renal failure...

[wandlimb]

Loved your commentary about "The Rules." I read those same Amazon reviews a while back, and have perused a copy of the loathsome book, and am still amazed this was written semi-recently. I thought we were over all that as a society. Unfortunately, both genders still adhere to the stereotypes in there. And that makes it so much harder for the rest of us.

I also love Leonard Cohen. So glad he was inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame this year. His induction speech? A recitation of "Tower of Song." So cool. He's touring, I heard.

[silburygirl]

I thought we were over all that as a society.

Excuse me while I go and laugh hysterically to avoid crying. Seeing the opposite displayed so blatantly makes me want to call on the capslock key, with bold and possibly some italics, so that I can fully express my level of rage.

The application of Leonard Cohen was the only thing that calmed me down enough to go to bed last night.

He is touring, but won't be performing anywhere that I can reasonably get to.