'Dream Deferred', Jack, Daniel (Dreamverse Chapter Four)
Chapter One: In These Dreams
Chapter Two: Scenes From a Mall
Chapter Three: Rapprochement
~2000 words, rated PG-13.
DREAM DEFERRED
The time for serious talk had obviously come and gone, washed away on a tide of booze, and the time to turn on the TV and channel surf and make rude remarks had arrived. The pizza didn’t do a whole lot to sober them up. They did stop drinking bourbon, but Jack rejected Daniel’s suggestion of coffee. “With pizza?”
Switching to beer, in retrospect, might not have been the best idea. Jack’s mouth was dry as a desert when he woke up. Water. Water would have been the way to go. He could drink about a quart of it right now, but he’d just lie here for a few more minutes and luxuriate in the warmth of Daniel pressed up against his back.
Last night, Jack had just pulled his shirt off over his head when Daniel appeared at his bedroom door.
“Sheets?”
Jack’s brain muzzily tried to interpret. “I don’t know; three to the wind?”
“Bed sheets. Bed’s not made.” Daniel lurched through the doorway.
“Oh. Yeah. It wasn’t getting used much. Forgot about that. We can….”
Daniel plopped himself down on Jack’s bed and started taking off his shoes. “Maybe you can,” he snorted.
Jack swayed in place for a second and then plopped down next to Daniel. “Lean over and fall over’s more like it. This is my side of the bed, by the way.”
It was still his side of the bed this morning, but Daniel in his sleep was no respecter of boundaries. They’d shared a tent too often for that to come as any surprise. Jack was a bit surprised, though, that Daniel’s presence in his bed wasn’t causing the kind of physical reaction that he would’ve expected. So, yeah, water would’ve definitely been the better choice. Way too much alcohol still in his system.
But it was pleasant enough to just lie here and listen to Daniel breathing and be glad that the friendship was on track, and that he could be here for Daniel. Maybe to dream a little bit. After a minute of listening, though, it got less pleasant as Jack wondered if Daniel didn’t sound kind of stopped up. Like there might have been tears during the night.
There wasn’t anything he could do about that. Jack sat up abruptly, and immediately regretted it. But he could do something about water and aspirin, and Daniel was going to need coffee and plenty of it. And probably a stack of dry toast wouldn’t be a bad idea. Shower first, though. Pee before that. Then aspirin, then shower. Start the coffee before the shower.
Way too much alcohol.
Jack was feeling fairly human by the time Daniel surfaced, barefoot and in yesterday’s clothes, glasses-less face freshly scrubbed, eyes just a little red and breath minty fresh. There hadn’t been sheets on the bed, but Daniel’s toothbrush still sat in a glass in the guest bath. In the cupboard under the sink, instead of on the counter where it used to be, but Daniel had apparently looked for it and found it, and Jack gave himself a mental kick for not thinking of it this morning and taking it out of hiding.
“How you feeling?”
Daniel squinted at him. “I’ll live, if I receive an immediate transfusion.”
Jack grinned. “Caffeine coming right up.” He pushed the aspirin bottle towards Daniel.
“Ah, no thanks. My head feels better than my stomach.”
Jack dumped the contents of the coffee pot into a carafe and pressed the button to start the next batch brewing. He put the carafe down in front of Daniel and went back over to the counter to put some slices of bread into the toaster. “Think you can handle some toast?”
“Sure,” Daniel replied, lifting his face out of his coffee cup just long enough to reply.
Jack sat at the table and topped up his own mug. “Paper? Sports, funnies?”
“News?”
This was an old disagreement. Jack tried not to even look at the front page headlines until he’d eased his way in to the newspaper. “If you must.” He passed Daniel Section A, averting his gaze. “No commentary, please.”
“I remember the rules, Jack,” Daniel said, sounding amused.
The only sounds for the next minute were coffee being slurped and pages being rustled. Then the toast popped up. Jack got up and piled it onto a waiting plate, then started another four slices going. He put the plate down on the table and started to sit down.
Daniel peered around his newspaper. “Plain?”
“Thought it might be safer.”
Daniel made a face. “Don’t you have any of that elderberry jelly your aunt sends you?”
“Aunt Kay’s pride and joy? Yeah, I’ve got some. You sure?” Jack headed for the refrigerator.
“I’ll take my chances. Anyway, I’m fairly sure that elderberry jelly is medicinal.”
“Oh, well, in that case….” Jack re-opened the silverware drawer and took out a second knife.
They demolished the eight pieces of toast, and the two pots of coffee, and Jack sat looking out into the back yard after he’d handed Daniel the crossword puzzle to finish and thought how nice it was to wake up with Daniel and share breakfast and the newspaper, and how right it felt. He had no expectations. But with Bjorn out of the picture, at least maybe he could have more moments like these. And you never knew….
“Another wrong answer, Jack,” Daniel muttered as he traced the correct letters heavily over Jack’s answer.
Jack shrugged. “Alcohol kills brain cells.”
“No fooling,” Daniel said, showing Jack the messy completed puzzle.
Jack just smiled contentedly.
Daniel smiled, too, shaking his head. “Okay, nice as this has been, I’ve got to get moving.”
“What’s your rush?” Jack half-protested.
Daniel stood up and reached up to adjust his glasses. He looked at his hand and let it drop when he realized he wasn’t wearing them. “Ah. Well, a shower and fresh clothes for starters. And then I’m going to see if Bjorn’s home.” He looked at Jack, looked away. “Talk to him.”
“You’re going to try to get him back,” Jack realized, his stomach plummeting.
“I’m not giving up yet,” Daniel agreed, nodding.
Jack rose. “If he’ll make you happy, then I wish you luck.” It was only true, although the words tried to stick in his throat.
“He does make me happy. Having something normal and good in my life makes me happy, and I don’t want to lose that.”
Sara, Jack’s memory supplied as he stared into Daniel’s intense eyes. One man’s ‘why we fight’. Something clean and decent waiting at the end of every long, weary road.
“I don’t think I can lose that now, Jack.” Daniel’s eyes were dry, but he was scrunching them up a little.
“You’ll find a way to get through to him,” Jack said, coming quickly around the table to put a hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “And if he insists on being a jerk about it, I’ll come over and beat him up for you.”
Daniel laughed briefly. “I think that would probably be counter-productive.”
“Maybe.” Jack squeezed Daniel’s shoulder. “One piece of advice?” Daniel looked at him. “Don’t tell him where you slept last night.”
“Yeah, believe it or not, I’m way ahead of you on that one.” Daniel grinned half-heartedly.
“Then you’re halfway there.”
“Yeah,” Daniel mumbled. “Okay. Bathroom first, glasses….” He was frowning slightly and patting his pockets for his keys.
“Shoes, Daniel,” Jack said gently.
~~~~
Daniel didn’t get through to Bjorn. Not that day, not the next. Not any of the half dozen times, that Jack knew of, that he tried.
Finally, he stopped trying.
~~~~
“Do I need to call security, or are you here to thank me?” Bjorn’s palms were flat against his desktop and his eyes were wary.
“Neither. And I’ve got nothing to thank you for.” Jack repositioned the visitor’s chair in Bjorn’s office at the university and sat down.
Bjorn nodded, eyes still wary. “That does not surprise me. Daniel is, as you know, a very stubborn man.”
“So were you expecting him to rush into my waiting arms? Give me a break. How stupid do you have to be to be a college professor these days?” Jack let his irritation show, and Bjorn sat straighter in his chair.
“Why have you come, Jack?”
“To tell you to stop being an idiot. Go back to him.”
Bjorn tightened his lips. “This is what you really want?”
“He’s unhappy. I don’t like that. I want you to fix it.”
“Do you?” Bjorn stared at him, blue eyes challenging. “You want me to go to Daniel and take him into my arms and kiss him? Take his hand and lead him down the hall and into the bedroom?”
Irritation surged and became anger. “Fuck you.”
“This is what you are asking me to do. How am I wrong to make certain that you realize this?” Bjorn cocked his head.
“Are you going to do it?” Jack bit out. “Yes or no?”
Bjorn looked down at his desk and swallowed. “He is in love with you.”
“Yeah,” Jack closed his eyes briefly, “not so much. And maybe you think he’s not in love with you, but then you haven’t been around to see how miserable you’re making him. He’s through asking you to come back, you know.”
“So you come to do it for him? You are very selfless. I do not understand you, Jack.”
Likewise. “Look, there is simply no reason for you to be doing this. You said yourself that the two of you weren’t planning a future. So… just be with him until one of you finds a reason to be with someone else. Nothing’s changed. He still cares just as much as he did before. Maybe more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that.”
“Maybe I have changed.”
“Bullshit. You think he loves me more than he does you. I disagree. Daniel disagrees. He doesn’t want me and he does want you. Still. For some reason that escapes me, because you’re obviously a moron!”
Bjorn looked at him almost affectionately. “You know, you are the only man I would leave him for, I think.”
Jack winced. “That… yeah, maybe that came out wrong; because that makes it sound like you want to start dating me.”
“You are not my type.” Bjorn smiled sadly. “You and I, we have the same type.”
“I don’t have a ‘type’. My last ‘type’ was about this tall, blonde, and had breasts.”
“I think this conversation will break my heart.”
Oh, for crying out loud. “You think I’m enjoying it?”
“You are a good friend, Jack.” Bjorn’s eyes got misty. “You would throw away your own chance to be happy.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing? You’re the one with a chance, here. How many ways can I say this? Daniel does not want me. He wants you.”
“I miss him so badly. I do not sleep.”
Jack cringed inwardly. “Well. If you’re not sleeping, you might as well be with Daniel doing stuff that I don’t want to hear about. Or think about.”
“Jack.”
Bjorn stared at him, and for the first time Jack saw a flicker of indecision. He went in for the kill, leaning forward. “He’ll take you back. He’s asked you to come back. What the fuck are you waiting for? Quit playing at being the melancholy Dane and go make him happy before I decide to break you in two!”
Bjorn chewed at his lip.
Jack stood up. “You’re making three people unhappy for no good reason. Stop it.”
“Jack.”
“You’re welcome.” Jack turned, walked out of the office, hung a left. Walked down the hallway.
“Thank you,” echoed after him.
Jack’s steps never faltered.
But he was glad no one was coming in the opposite direction.
http://sidlj.livejournal.com/157624.html Chapter Five, 'Sleepwalk'
Chapter Two: Scenes From a Mall
Chapter Three: Rapprochement
~2000 words, rated PG-13.
DREAM DEFERRED
The time for serious talk had obviously come and gone, washed away on a tide of booze, and the time to turn on the TV and channel surf and make rude remarks had arrived. The pizza didn’t do a whole lot to sober them up. They did stop drinking bourbon, but Jack rejected Daniel’s suggestion of coffee. “With pizza?”
Switching to beer, in retrospect, might not have been the best idea. Jack’s mouth was dry as a desert when he woke up. Water. Water would have been the way to go. He could drink about a quart of it right now, but he’d just lie here for a few more minutes and luxuriate in the warmth of Daniel pressed up against his back.
Last night, Jack had just pulled his shirt off over his head when Daniel appeared at his bedroom door.
“Sheets?”
Jack’s brain muzzily tried to interpret. “I don’t know; three to the wind?”
“Bed sheets. Bed’s not made.” Daniel lurched through the doorway.
“Oh. Yeah. It wasn’t getting used much. Forgot about that. We can….”
Daniel plopped himself down on Jack’s bed and started taking off his shoes. “Maybe you can,” he snorted.
Jack swayed in place for a second and then plopped down next to Daniel. “Lean over and fall over’s more like it. This is my side of the bed, by the way.”
It was still his side of the bed this morning, but Daniel in his sleep was no respecter of boundaries. They’d shared a tent too often for that to come as any surprise. Jack was a bit surprised, though, that Daniel’s presence in his bed wasn’t causing the kind of physical reaction that he would’ve expected. So, yeah, water would’ve definitely been the better choice. Way too much alcohol still in his system.
But it was pleasant enough to just lie here and listen to Daniel breathing and be glad that the friendship was on track, and that he could be here for Daniel. Maybe to dream a little bit. After a minute of listening, though, it got less pleasant as Jack wondered if Daniel didn’t sound kind of stopped up. Like there might have been tears during the night.
There wasn’t anything he could do about that. Jack sat up abruptly, and immediately regretted it. But he could do something about water and aspirin, and Daniel was going to need coffee and plenty of it. And probably a stack of dry toast wouldn’t be a bad idea. Shower first, though. Pee before that. Then aspirin, then shower. Start the coffee before the shower.
Way too much alcohol.
Jack was feeling fairly human by the time Daniel surfaced, barefoot and in yesterday’s clothes, glasses-less face freshly scrubbed, eyes just a little red and breath minty fresh. There hadn’t been sheets on the bed, but Daniel’s toothbrush still sat in a glass in the guest bath. In the cupboard under the sink, instead of on the counter where it used to be, but Daniel had apparently looked for it and found it, and Jack gave himself a mental kick for not thinking of it this morning and taking it out of hiding.
“How you feeling?”
Daniel squinted at him. “I’ll live, if I receive an immediate transfusion.”
Jack grinned. “Caffeine coming right up.” He pushed the aspirin bottle towards Daniel.
“Ah, no thanks. My head feels better than my stomach.”
Jack dumped the contents of the coffee pot into a carafe and pressed the button to start the next batch brewing. He put the carafe down in front of Daniel and went back over to the counter to put some slices of bread into the toaster. “Think you can handle some toast?”
“Sure,” Daniel replied, lifting his face out of his coffee cup just long enough to reply.
Jack sat at the table and topped up his own mug. “Paper? Sports, funnies?”
“News?”
This was an old disagreement. Jack tried not to even look at the front page headlines until he’d eased his way in to the newspaper. “If you must.” He passed Daniel Section A, averting his gaze. “No commentary, please.”
“I remember the rules, Jack,” Daniel said, sounding amused.
The only sounds for the next minute were coffee being slurped and pages being rustled. Then the toast popped up. Jack got up and piled it onto a waiting plate, then started another four slices going. He put the plate down on the table and started to sit down.
Daniel peered around his newspaper. “Plain?”
“Thought it might be safer.”
Daniel made a face. “Don’t you have any of that elderberry jelly your aunt sends you?”
“Aunt Kay’s pride and joy? Yeah, I’ve got some. You sure?” Jack headed for the refrigerator.
“I’ll take my chances. Anyway, I’m fairly sure that elderberry jelly is medicinal.”
“Oh, well, in that case….” Jack re-opened the silverware drawer and took out a second knife.
They demolished the eight pieces of toast, and the two pots of coffee, and Jack sat looking out into the back yard after he’d handed Daniel the crossword puzzle to finish and thought how nice it was to wake up with Daniel and share breakfast and the newspaper, and how right it felt. He had no expectations. But with Bjorn out of the picture, at least maybe he could have more moments like these. And you never knew….
“Another wrong answer, Jack,” Daniel muttered as he traced the correct letters heavily over Jack’s answer.
Jack shrugged. “Alcohol kills brain cells.”
“No fooling,” Daniel said, showing Jack the messy completed puzzle.
Jack just smiled contentedly.
Daniel smiled, too, shaking his head. “Okay, nice as this has been, I’ve got to get moving.”
“What’s your rush?” Jack half-protested.
Daniel stood up and reached up to adjust his glasses. He looked at his hand and let it drop when he realized he wasn’t wearing them. “Ah. Well, a shower and fresh clothes for starters. And then I’m going to see if Bjorn’s home.” He looked at Jack, looked away. “Talk to him.”
“You’re going to try to get him back,” Jack realized, his stomach plummeting.
“I’m not giving up yet,” Daniel agreed, nodding.
Jack rose. “If he’ll make you happy, then I wish you luck.” It was only true, although the words tried to stick in his throat.
“He does make me happy. Having something normal and good in my life makes me happy, and I don’t want to lose that.”
Sara, Jack’s memory supplied as he stared into Daniel’s intense eyes. One man’s ‘why we fight’. Something clean and decent waiting at the end of every long, weary road.
“I don’t think I can lose that now, Jack.” Daniel’s eyes were dry, but he was scrunching them up a little.
“You’ll find a way to get through to him,” Jack said, coming quickly around the table to put a hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “And if he insists on being a jerk about it, I’ll come over and beat him up for you.”
Daniel laughed briefly. “I think that would probably be counter-productive.”
“Maybe.” Jack squeezed Daniel’s shoulder. “One piece of advice?” Daniel looked at him. “Don’t tell him where you slept last night.”
“Yeah, believe it or not, I’m way ahead of you on that one.” Daniel grinned half-heartedly.
“Then you’re halfway there.”
“Yeah,” Daniel mumbled. “Okay. Bathroom first, glasses….” He was frowning slightly and patting his pockets for his keys.
“Shoes, Daniel,” Jack said gently.
~~~~
Daniel didn’t get through to Bjorn. Not that day, not the next. Not any of the half dozen times, that Jack knew of, that he tried.
Finally, he stopped trying.
~~~~
“Do I need to call security, or are you here to thank me?” Bjorn’s palms were flat against his desktop and his eyes were wary.
“Neither. And I’ve got nothing to thank you for.” Jack repositioned the visitor’s chair in Bjorn’s office at the university and sat down.
Bjorn nodded, eyes still wary. “That does not surprise me. Daniel is, as you know, a very stubborn man.”
“So were you expecting him to rush into my waiting arms? Give me a break. How stupid do you have to be to be a college professor these days?” Jack let his irritation show, and Bjorn sat straighter in his chair.
“Why have you come, Jack?”
“To tell you to stop being an idiot. Go back to him.”
Bjorn tightened his lips. “This is what you really want?”
“He’s unhappy. I don’t like that. I want you to fix it.”
“Do you?” Bjorn stared at him, blue eyes challenging. “You want me to go to Daniel and take him into my arms and kiss him? Take his hand and lead him down the hall and into the bedroom?”
Irritation surged and became anger. “Fuck you.”
“This is what you are asking me to do. How am I wrong to make certain that you realize this?” Bjorn cocked his head.
“Are you going to do it?” Jack bit out. “Yes or no?”
Bjorn looked down at his desk and swallowed. “He is in love with you.”
“Yeah,” Jack closed his eyes briefly, “not so much. And maybe you think he’s not in love with you, but then you haven’t been around to see how miserable you’re making him. He’s through asking you to come back, you know.”
“So you come to do it for him? You are very selfless. I do not understand you, Jack.”
Likewise. “Look, there is simply no reason for you to be doing this. You said yourself that the two of you weren’t planning a future. So… just be with him until one of you finds a reason to be with someone else. Nothing’s changed. He still cares just as much as he did before. Maybe more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that.”
“Maybe I have changed.”
“Bullshit. You think he loves me more than he does you. I disagree. Daniel disagrees. He doesn’t want me and he does want you. Still. For some reason that escapes me, because you’re obviously a moron!”
Bjorn looked at him almost affectionately. “You know, you are the only man I would leave him for, I think.”
Jack winced. “That… yeah, maybe that came out wrong; because that makes it sound like you want to start dating me.”
“You are not my type.” Bjorn smiled sadly. “You and I, we have the same type.”
“I don’t have a ‘type’. My last ‘type’ was about this tall, blonde, and had breasts.”
“I think this conversation will break my heart.”
Oh, for crying out loud. “You think I’m enjoying it?”
“You are a good friend, Jack.” Bjorn’s eyes got misty. “You would throw away your own chance to be happy.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing? You’re the one with a chance, here. How many ways can I say this? Daniel does not want me. He wants you.”
“I miss him so badly. I do not sleep.”
Jack cringed inwardly. “Well. If you’re not sleeping, you might as well be with Daniel doing stuff that I don’t want to hear about. Or think about.”
“Jack.”
Bjorn stared at him, and for the first time Jack saw a flicker of indecision. He went in for the kill, leaning forward. “He’ll take you back. He’s asked you to come back. What the fuck are you waiting for? Quit playing at being the melancholy Dane and go make him happy before I decide to break you in two!”
Bjorn chewed at his lip.
Jack stood up. “You’re making three people unhappy for no good reason. Stop it.”
“Jack.”
“You’re welcome.” Jack turned, walked out of the office, hung a left. Walked down the hallway.
“Thank you,” echoed after him.
Jack’s steps never faltered.
But he was glad no one was coming in the opposite direction.
http://sidlj.livejournal.com/157624.html Chapter Five, 'Sleepwalk'