i had it ALL at one point.so long ago. my life seemed somewhat complete for the moment. i thought everything would be fine. i thought i would have it always. why do things change the way they do? if i werent such an idiot maybe everything would been ok. but its too late i fucked up.

someone kill me.

so things seem like there looking up in some ways. but in other ways i just want my life to end. my emotions are running like a crazy uncontrollable rollercoaster. i cant even control how i feel at all. i go from complete utter sadness to psychotic rage without warning.theres so much more to it that i cant even describe. what the fuck is happening ( Read more... )

OUCH!

Every day YOU disappoint me with something else

life is so pointless. seriously. after u get out of school, its like ok now what do i do? i have no energy to move half the time. so wut the fuck is wrong with me. its not drugs so no one even say that. my life is such a bore. what happened to the days when i was happy? i cant let go of the past, and it hurts. what am i supposed to do.

i love this feeling, please dont ever leave

Yay i got a job. had an interview at D'angelos today and they hired me. thats gonna be a shitty job, but its money. next thing on my list....get a car.

so i found out yesterday that i passed my GED test. =) yay! so hopefully it will be easier for me to get a job. im dying for a job. i havent had one since june. thats pathetic. i dont feel too good right now. maybe i will go back to bed until alicia gets here.

i just read all the old emails i had in my mail, and now i feel like shit, most of them r bad, and the rest just make me miss people. theres so many songs and quotes ppl send me and say it reminds them of me. it depresses me. am i that terrible of a person. guys come and go, mostly my fault. friends stop wanting to talk to me anymore. im so glad im ( Read more... )

interesting night, new feelings, hmmm. had a good weekend. alicia and me always have a good time though =) i need to sleep, i havent since friday night. arg.