Confessions of an Over-Dramatic Neurotic and How He Finally Got What He Wanted - Chapter 1
Author: Shriya_4
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoomin
Genre: Romance, AU, Humor, Fluff.
Rating: PG-13 for now. NC-17 later
Warnings: Language, Crack?, Diva!Jae.
Disclaimer: If I owned them. I'd be having my way with them right now...not writing this. :/ I own the plot though. So no copy right intended.
Summary: Kim Jaejoong lies. It's what he does. But the one thing that he's always been honest about (well at least to himself) is finding his other half. His one true love.
So, when he meets Jung Siwon, he thinks he's done it...finally found the one. However, things hit the roof when Siwon's younger brother (and Jaejoong's childhood friend) comes home from America and pulls Jaejoong with him into a world that even he couldn't possibly make up... because let's face it, Yunho's out to make an honest man out of the liar...and he's going to give Jaejoong everything he's ever wanted. If not always in the way everyone expects.
Blog Entry No. 1:
Once upon a time in a fabulously attractive city called Seoul, there lived an equally fabulous and awe-inspiring individual named Kim Jaejoong.
A.K.A… Me.
“Once upon a time.”
HA!
I feel like such a princess.
A pretty one of course.
Like Belle. u_u
She was hot
…and kinky
… And possibly the starter of bestiality in this generation.
….
What have I told you about not distracting me?!
…Anyway…
Like I was saying...
My story starts one dark, dreary morning, when the phrase “Knight in shining armor” was meant for a certain Ian Somerhalder to ride in on a sexy Ducati and proclaim his undying love for me in front of the entire student population of my university.
That never happened though.
But something just as fascinating did.
The new Psychology teacher.
Jung Siwon, 25, recent graduate from the University of Edinburgh, and possibly the most delicious thing to walk through the halls of SU, (well, after me, of course).
He looked so downright rape-able (it’s a word…), that Yoochun had to tap my chin repeatedly in order to get me to stop drooling all over his homework (which he’d totally leant to me out of the goodness of his heart).
This effervescent being that presented himself to the prying eyes of the highly debatable “Advanced Psychology” class, effectively stopped me from getting hit by a soccer ball, by kicking it (like a pro I might add) right out the window of the classroom, leaving me to stare at him like the Adonis that he was and ergo start one of the biggest stories of my particularly deviant and subjectively existential life.
Three Years Ago:
Seoul University:
“Oh my God, Junsu!,” I screamed for like the millionth time as I watched my idiotic brother bounce a soccer ball off of Yoochun’s head and laugh uproariously at the poor boy’s elementary attempts at head-butting the round object back towards him.
“But Jaejoong, he’s doing so well!” he screamed over the din of the classroom, making my poor ears bleed.
“I swear to GOD, Kim Junsu, if that thing hits any part of my body I will scratch your eyes out and then feed your entrails to Vick, do you hear me?”
God! What did I ever do to deserve such a fool for a brother? I mean like seriously…I cannot even believe that we share the same genetic makeup. Fraternal twins my cute ass…I’m sticking by my theory of him being adopted.
“Vick?” My brother asked, cocking his head to one side.
Oh, Fudge Popsicle!
Meet Vick. The imaginary pet I created during my freshman year at University.
Before you judge me. Because I know you’re going to. Let me explain.
It was a cute boy.
I couldn’t help it.
The news spread.
Every bloody dog lover suddenly wanted to share stories.
I was fucked.
Details?
Fine.
Be that way.
Two Years ago from the aforementioned ‘three years ago’:
The beginning of Freshman year …was awful.
Due to travelling abroad during the summer, I joined the university three weeks later than the others and therefore had no one to talk to.
Junsu and Yoochun were my only companions and even then, it was only because we were always together anyway. We were childhood friends. What would you expect?
Them and Jung Yunho, of course. But we’ll come to that later.
So, by chance (while I was minding my own business) I heard the guys and girls next to me whispering about a certain Dongwook and his new pet that had apparently become the said man’s “world”.
Cue DongWook’s entrance.
YAOOOOOZA. No words could better describe the little monkeys that were now twirling around in my head wearing pretty pink tutus.
Seriously.
Gorgeous.
“Hi”
Hi there sexy, would you mind very much if I humped you in front of every single person in our class?
“Hehe. Hi.”
Well done, Jaejoong. Well. Done.
“You’re Kim Jaejoong, right?”
No. No. I’m your sex slave. Take me. Right here. Right now.
“Yeah. And you are?”
My future husband. PLEASE SAY THAT YOU’RE MY FUTURE HUSBAND!
“Lee Dongwook. We take Literature together.”
Darn it.
“Oh! Right!”
“How’s college treating you?”
Great. But I bet you could treat me so much better.
DOWN, Jaejoong. Down.
“It’s alright, I guess.”
“Ah! Great! Well if you need any help with anything then you can always come and find me.”
Yes. I will. In fact I do need your help. Little Jaejoong’s suffering from blue-balls. Save him.
“Sure.”
Think, Jaejoong. THINK.
Aha.
“So…I heard you got yourself a new pet?”
Success.
His eyes lit up. They look like pretty Christmas lights. Awww.
NOW PAY ATTENTION!
“Yeah! How’d you know?”
“Some girls were talking about it.”
“Ah! Yeah! He’s a wire haired. His name is…”
Wire Haired? There’s a fucking breed called “Wire Haired”….?
Note to self. Brush up on Dog Breeds.
“So do you have one?”
Huh? Do I have one what?
“Ugh…Yeah?”
Another note to self. PAY ATTENTION WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE TALKING!
“That’s so cool! Which breed is it?”
FREEEEEEEEEEEZE!!
[I know that you guys think that the smartest thing to do in that situation would have been to admit that I hadn’t been listening and that I didn’t actually have a dog.
BUT HE WAS SO CUTE. How could I hurt his little Christmas like feelings and tell him that I didn’t care about his dog?]
THINK JAEJOONG. WHICH WAS THE LAST DOG THAT YOU SAW ON TV?!
“Pyre…Pyrenees! A Great Pyrenees!”
“Woah! That’s a big dog! We should make our pets meet! Like a “Doggies day out”!”
More like “A dog’s day out…”
“Uh. Yeah. Sure! That’ll be awesome.”
“So what’s his name? Or is it a she?”
Say “HE”. Next thing you know he’ll want to breed our dogs together.
One problem. I DON’T HAVE A DOG!
“It’s a ‘he’. His name is….”
THINK, KIM JAEJOONG. THINK!
Vicks cough syrup.
What?
Seriously, Brain? LIKE WHUT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Vicks…
VICK!
“Vick! His name’s Vick!”
Present day AKA “Three Years ago”:
“Vick?”
Eeeeep! Dong Wook is looking this way!
See, the thing about that lie two years ago?…. I just built on it. And now I have to still remind myself that I don’t actually have a dog and that my mother will still continue to refuse to buy me one.
“Oh my GOD, Junsu! Is that Taeyeon?!”
“Huh?! Where?!”
And there we go. The soccer ball.
Flying towards my beautiful face.
My reflexes too sucky to help me dodge.
I’m dead.
BAAAAAAAM!
I feel no pain.
This must be what heaven feels like.
“Are you okay?”
Huh?
God sounds sexier than I expected.
Sort of like that smexy singer in Super Junior. Forgot what his name was…Choi -Something.
“Hey!”
Seriously GOD! STOP SHAKING ME!
“Yah!”
SO FUCKING LOUD!
“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” I screamed, opening my eyes and finding half the university’s population bearing down on top of me.
Seriously don’t you guys have anything better to-
Oh.
Well.
Hello there.
My goodness. Can anyone of you fabulous readers spell ‘fantabulously-fantastically-smexy-hot’?
Because that is what this being in front of me is.
Fantabulously-fantastically-smexy-hot.
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Three million.” I say brilliantly as I look past the three fingers waving around under my nose to the beauty in front of me.
“Three. But close enough. Come on. Let’s get someone to take you to the nurse’s office, Jaejoong.”
He knows my name. Oh dear lord. You did send him to me.
“Do I know you?”
OF COURSE NOT, JAEJOONG. GOD SENT HIM TO YOU! HE knows YOU!
“Ah! I guess it has been a long time, hasn’t it? I’m Jung Siwon. Remember? Yunho’s older brother? We used to be neighbors?”
Oh.
Wow.
Talk about growing up.
“Yoochun-ah…” I whispered ten minutes later as Yoochun dragged me across the hallway.
“What?”
“I think I’m in love.”
Oh don’t you roll your eyes at me.
“You were in love last week.”
“Oh my GOD, Yoochun! PEOPLE CHANGE, OKAY?!!”
[And that ladies and gentleman is how this epic tale of total and utter nonsense…began.]
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A/N My stupid sister deleted this. I had to repost it. Miahne :3