Confessions of an Over-Dramatic Neurotic and How He Finally Got What He Wanted - Chapter 2
Author: Shriya_4
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoomin
Genre: Romance, AU, Humor, Fluff
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Language, Crack?, Diva!Jae.
Summary: Kim Jaejoong lies. It's what he does. But the one thing that he's always been honest about (well at least to himself) is finding his other half. His one true love.
So, when he meets Jung Siwon, he thinks he's done it...finally found the one. However, things hit the roof when Siwon's younger brother (and Jaejoong's childhood friend) comes home from America and pulls Jaejoong with him into a world that even he couldn't possibly make up... because let's face it, Yunho's out to make an honest man out of the liar...and he's going to give Jaejoong everything he's ever wanted. If not always in the way everyone expects.
Chapter 2:
Blog Entry No. 2:
Over the months that followed ‘ fantabulously-fantastically-smexy-hot’s entrance into my life, the word ‘crush’ soon turned into something that could only be described as ‘crazy-he-seriously-needs-to-get-a-life-obsession.’
But the worst and possibly the most nightmarish bit of this blatant obsession with my delicious teacher was a certain ‘Kim Fucking Heechul’.
Yes.
His middle name was “Fucking”.
No, I’m serious.
STOP CALLING ME OUT! HIS MIDDLE NAME WAS “FUCKING” AND YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, OKAY?
Okay.
Anyway.
So this ‘Kim Fucking Heechul’ was this debatable human that sat at the back of my class and pretended to be a student who genuinely appreciated the art of learning.
But I knew better.
Yoochun didn’t.
You know why?
Because Yoochun insisted that “Kim Fucking Heechul” was just a normal student who unlike me came to college because he genuinely wanted to learn and not just sit around and think about humping the teacher.
Ha.
As if that person could be like me.
No one can be like me.
And…
Wait.
Excuse me for a second.
...
Please ignore the above lines…
I just realized that I was being insulted.
Yoochun is now in a lot of pain.
Well, anyway, as I was saying…
Let me now tell you the story of how “Kim Fucking Heechul” (the filthy leech of a person who pissed me off so badly that I wanted to pull off his nipples and feed them to my imaginary dog) became my biggest competitor for the affections of Mr. “Fantabulously-fantastically-smexy- hot”.
Three years ago: Seoul University - autumn.
“Oh my God, Yoochun. Look at those muscles…I want to lick them...and maybe bite them…”
I couldn’t, in all honesty, stop myself from looking at him.
A beautiful specimen standing just five feet in front of me; his arms flexing majestically as he wrote down something about some person named Freud and how he was sexually deprived and had nothing better to do than apply every human attribute or behavior to sex.
Apparently he arrived at this conclusion after studying a bunch of Austrian women.
Austria.
Whut is up?
No one thinks about sex all the time, okay? No one.
And holy shit, I think I just saw a vein twitch under those muscles.
Oh, Baby, take me on your desk, your lap, your bed…anything. I’m yours.
“I can’t believe you practically tore Jessica’s hair out because she wouldn’t let you sit in her seat.”
^_^’
I don’t usually sit in front, you see.
So I had to take on a few drastic measures in order to clear out one of the nerds from one of the front row seats.
But it’s all really subjective, honestly.
A matter of perception, if you will.
“I did her a favor. Those stupid extensions were looking awful on her.”
“Uno problemo. THEY. WEREN’T. EXTENSIONS!” He whisper yelled at me.
What the fuck is whisper yelling anyway?
Oxymoron much.
Oxy-Moron.
Oxygen - Moron.
Nope.
Still doesn’t make sense.
Anywho.
“That’s a debatable topic, Chunnie. Now shush, I’m trying to pay attention.”
“To what? His ass?”
Ass? Has this boy not been listening to me at all?
“His muscles, Yoochun. Not his ass. But now that you brought that up…I bet his ass has nice muscles too…”
Yes, roll your eyes at me, Yoochun.
But mark my words. One day your eyes are going to get stuck that way.
And I’m going to laugh.
A lot.
“Oh, hey, isn’t that Heechul?” Junsu, the ape, squealed as he pointed exuberantly out of the window.
Huh?
Wait.
Why are the idiotic individuals of this class upturning their desks in order to look out of the window?
Why is Smexy man looking out as well?
And lastly, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOOCHUN’S HANDS COVERING MY EYES?!
“Yoochun. I need my eyes to see, sweetheart.”
“I know.”
“Then will you kindly get your suspiciously musky smelling hands off of my face?”
“No.”
“I’m just throwing this out there…but why won’t you let me make use of the one sense that allows me to appreciate the finer things in life?”
“Because you scare the finer things in life, Jaejoong. And because I’m saving a person’s life by doing this.”
“Oh my God. That’s so cute!! You have to let him in now, Siwon-ssi! Please!!” Some intelligent human screamed excitedly.
Ears, Yoochun.
You forgot my ears.
The second most useful sense, ever.
I yanked his hands off like the super-bitch that I was and looked out of the window.
[Now to better understand this volcanic and soul destroying moment…let me show you what happened a few hours earlier. At a point when Kim FUCKING Heechul, did not mean shit to me.]
FLASHBACK, YO!
Three minutes into class and I could already feel the sandman swinging across my mind, wearing nothing but a loin cloth and sun glasses.
But the only thing keeping me alive was the sexiness oozing off of Siwon. I mean seriously. There’s sexy and then there’s sexy. And believe me. This man is sexy.
So anyway, I’m just like sitting there ogling at this Adonis, when all of a sudden the classroom door swings open and some weird kid’s just like standing there, looking out of breath and perpetually “not-pretty”.
Dude. Fashion police alert. Ugh.
“I’m sorry I’m late, Siwon-ssi! I-“
“I don’t entertain late comers, Heechul. Out.”
Ha.
Take that.
Disrupting my sexy time.
Wait.
Why does Siwon know the weird kid’s name? He’s only been here a day.
“But-“
“No. Out.”
Aw. The look of hurt on the kid’s face really made me feel all kinds of sorry. Really it did.
Now, back to the more pressing issue.
“Yoochun-ah, who-?”
“Kim Heechul, twenty years old and the only son of one of the richest men in South Korea. He is known as the prettiest boy on campus and has been asked out by approximately eighty percent of the male student population and a hundred percent of the female. Surprisingly, he has refused all offers and remains visibly single. Some say it’s because he’s been dating someone outside the boundaries of our prestigious institution.”
He’s the prettiest boy on campus?
Have people been rendered blind by my good looks?
“Jaejoong?”
“Yes?”
“Heechul’s been sitting at the back of our class since we started college. How have you not heard of him?”
“I don’t know everyone in our class, Chunnie. I just pretend to.”
“No. You’re just self-obsessed.”
“Now. Now. Don’t get testy.”
“SONGSAENGNIM! Please let me come in. I’ve never been late for a class before-“
What? Hasn’t he left yet?
“No, Heechul. We’ll talk about this after college. But you aren’t coming…”
I apologize.
I sort of lost track of what he was saying when I heard - “TALK ABOUT THIS AFTER COLLEGE”.
After college.
When they’ll be alone.
When sexy time in mangas usually happen.
When this Kim Fucking Heechul will get his grimy paws on MY sexy Siwon.
I think I just broke Yoochun’s favorite pencil.
END FLASHBACK
So now, where was I?
Oh, right.
What I saw outside the window…was seriously just bordering on desperate.
I mean if you want his attention so badly then hump him in front of class or something. Geez.
I mean the kid needs a ‘Captain Obvious’ sticker stapled to his forehead or something.
“Yoochun-ah, tell me what I’m seeing is just a figment of my retarded imagination…”
“…”
“So…I am in fact actually looking at this blatant display of nonsense…”
“…”
“…”
Tell me something beautiful readers? If you saw a weird boy from your class standing outside your building, writing fancy notes addressed to the teacher on sand…what would you think?
Because right now all I could really see was Kim Fucking Heechul standing beside a bunch of writing on the ground that said something along the lines of “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I promise to be better next time. Please let me in.”
I know right?
My reaction was all like à -_-… O_o… OTL
Everyone else on the other hand were like à :3 or *_* or better yet, this
But things, of course, got worse when Mr. “Fantabulously-fantastically-smexy-hot” said and I quote (Because I seriously wrote this down right after he said it for future revenge purposes) , “Well then I guess we better let Mr. Kim in. I’d be stupid not to see the sincerity in that.”
And then he laughed.
Not the “Haha, I’m so amused by my cute student” kind of laugh. It was the “Haha, Can anyone get this cute?”kind of laugh.
Bitch.
It is on.
It is sooooo on that even Damon Salvatore will cower in fear.
Oh yeah.
I went there.
[ We’ll have to skip a bit of the insane freakout I had after this incident. It wasn’t very becoming of me. Yoochun called it the biggest “Jaejoong gone full retard” event of the year.
But those were just mere glitches.
No one seemed too surprised by it anyway.]
Now as for Heechul, I had it all worked out.
I had to corner him after college.
Beat him up.
Make him cry.
And release a war cry of victory.
But you can imagine my extreme surprise when later that evening, a cornered Heechul glared back defiantly at me and asked me whether I was on crack.
“Oh please. I know you’re up to something.” I sneered back at him.
No one beats me at being a diva.
No one.
“Oh do explain, Jaejoong-ssi. I’m all ears.”
What is with people and rolling their eyes at me?
“The fact that Siwon knew your name even before his first class shows that you’ve been doing some behind the scenes work…and it also explains why you knew about him even before entering class too.”
“Of course I know him outside of College you dimwit. He’s Yunho’s B.R.O.T.H.E.R! Everyone who ever grew up around Yunho knows who Siwon is. INCLUDING YOU!”
Heechul was around us that long? Seriously?
Wow.
Wait, never mind. We’ll get back to that later.
“AHA but that doesn’t explain why he knows you!”
“Oh sweet baby Jesus. Do you live under a rock? He has to know me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m engaged to his brother, you fool.”
Oh.
Hot damn.
Present day:
Now before you'll get your pretty panties into a twist, I''d just like to leave you'll with a thought.
A fairy tale has never been written without its share of ups and downs.
And an antagonist is always appreciated even amongst the worst of critiques.
Kim Heechul did in fact become my biggest rival that day.
I just didn’t place too much importance on it until much much later.
But to this day I remain indebted to that filthy piece of shit, because if it weren’t for him and his manipulative tendencies…I never would have been able to tell the difference between the real Prince Charming and his more than attractive reflection.
____________________________________________________________________________________
A/N HAI! Did you guys enjoy the chapter? I know you did~! So comment.
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoomin
Genre: Romance, AU, Humor, Fluff
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Language, Crack?, Diva!Jae.
Summary: Kim Jaejoong lies. It's what he does. But the one thing that he's always been honest about (well at least to himself) is finding his other half. His one true love.
So, when he meets Jung Siwon, he thinks he's done it...finally found the one. However, things hit the roof when Siwon's younger brother (and Jaejoong's childhood friend) comes home from America and pulls Jaejoong with him into a world that even he couldn't possibly make up... because let's face it, Yunho's out to make an honest man out of the liar...and he's going to give Jaejoong everything he's ever wanted. If not always in the way everyone expects.
Chapter 2:
Blog Entry No. 2:
Over the months that followed ‘ fantabulously-fantastically-smexy-hot’s entrance into my life, the word ‘crush’ soon turned into something that could only be described as ‘crazy-he-seriously-needs-to-get-a-life-obsession.’
But the worst and possibly the most nightmarish bit of this blatant obsession with my delicious teacher was a certain ‘Kim Fucking Heechul’.
Yes.
His middle name was “Fucking”.
No, I’m serious.
STOP CALLING ME OUT! HIS MIDDLE NAME WAS “FUCKING” AND YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, OKAY?
Okay.
Anyway.
So this ‘Kim Fucking Heechul’ was this debatable human that sat at the back of my class and pretended to be a student who genuinely appreciated the art of learning.
But I knew better.
Yoochun didn’t.
You know why?
Because Yoochun insisted that “Kim Fucking Heechul” was just a normal student who unlike me came to college because he genuinely wanted to learn and not just sit around and think about humping the teacher.
Ha.
As if that person could be like me.
No one can be like me.
And…
Wait.
Excuse me for a second.
...
Please ignore the above lines…
I just realized that I was being insulted.
Yoochun is now in a lot of pain.
Well, anyway, as I was saying…
Let me now tell you the story of how “Kim Fucking Heechul” (the filthy leech of a person who pissed me off so badly that I wanted to pull off his nipples and feed them to my imaginary dog) became my biggest competitor for the affections of Mr. “Fantabulously-fantastically-smexy- hot”.
Three years ago: Seoul University - autumn.
“Oh my God, Yoochun. Look at those muscles…I want to lick them...and maybe bite them…”
I couldn’t, in all honesty, stop myself from looking at him.
A beautiful specimen standing just five feet in front of me; his arms flexing majestically as he wrote down something about some person named Freud and how he was sexually deprived and had nothing better to do than apply every human attribute or behavior to sex.
Apparently he arrived at this conclusion after studying a bunch of Austrian women.
Austria.
Whut is up?
No one thinks about sex all the time, okay? No one.
And holy shit, I think I just saw a vein twitch under those muscles.
Oh, Baby, take me on your desk, your lap, your bed…anything. I’m yours.
“I can’t believe you practically tore Jessica’s hair out because she wouldn’t let you sit in her seat.”
^_^’
I don’t usually sit in front, you see.
So I had to take on a few drastic measures in order to clear out one of the nerds from one of the front row seats.
But it’s all really subjective, honestly.
A matter of perception, if you will.
“I did her a favor. Those stupid extensions were looking awful on her.”
“Uno problemo. THEY. WEREN’T. EXTENSIONS!” He whisper yelled at me.
What the fuck is whisper yelling anyway?
Oxymoron much.
Oxy-Moron.
Oxygen - Moron.
Nope.
Still doesn’t make sense.
Anywho.
“That’s a debatable topic, Chunnie. Now shush, I’m trying to pay attention.”
“To what? His ass?”
Ass? Has this boy not been listening to me at all?
“His muscles, Yoochun. Not his ass. But now that you brought that up…I bet his ass has nice muscles too…”
Yes, roll your eyes at me, Yoochun.
But mark my words. One day your eyes are going to get stuck that way.
And I’m going to laugh.
A lot.
“Oh, hey, isn’t that Heechul?” Junsu, the ape, squealed as he pointed exuberantly out of the window.
Huh?
Wait.
Why are the idiotic individuals of this class upturning their desks in order to look out of the window?
Why is Smexy man looking out as well?
And lastly, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOOCHUN’S HANDS COVERING MY EYES?!
“Yoochun. I need my eyes to see, sweetheart.”
“I know.”
“Then will you kindly get your suspiciously musky smelling hands off of my face?”
“No.”
“I’m just throwing this out there…but why won’t you let me make use of the one sense that allows me to appreciate the finer things in life?”
“Because you scare the finer things in life, Jaejoong. And because I’m saving a person’s life by doing this.”
“Oh my God. That’s so cute!! You have to let him in now, Siwon-ssi! Please!!” Some intelligent human screamed excitedly.
Ears, Yoochun.
You forgot my ears.
The second most useful sense, ever.
I yanked his hands off like the super-bitch that I was and looked out of the window.
[Now to better understand this volcanic and soul destroying moment…let me show you what happened a few hours earlier. At a point when Kim FUCKING Heechul, did not mean shit to me.]
FLASHBACK, YO!
Three minutes into class and I could already feel the sandman swinging across my mind, wearing nothing but a loin cloth and sun glasses.
But the only thing keeping me alive was the sexiness oozing off of Siwon. I mean seriously. There’s sexy and then there’s sexy. And believe me. This man is sexy.
So anyway, I’m just like sitting there ogling at this Adonis, when all of a sudden the classroom door swings open and some weird kid’s just like standing there, looking out of breath and perpetually “not-pretty”.
Dude. Fashion police alert. Ugh.
“I’m sorry I’m late, Siwon-ssi! I-“
“I don’t entertain late comers, Heechul. Out.”
Ha.
Take that.
Disrupting my sexy time.
Wait.
Why does Siwon know the weird kid’s name? He’s only been here a day.
“But-“
“No. Out.”
Aw. The look of hurt on the kid’s face really made me feel all kinds of sorry. Really it did.
Now, back to the more pressing issue.
“Yoochun-ah, who-?”
“Kim Heechul, twenty years old and the only son of one of the richest men in South Korea. He is known as the prettiest boy on campus and has been asked out by approximately eighty percent of the male student population and a hundred percent of the female. Surprisingly, he has refused all offers and remains visibly single. Some say it’s because he’s been dating someone outside the boundaries of our prestigious institution.”
He’s the prettiest boy on campus?
Have people been rendered blind by my good looks?
“Jaejoong?”
“Yes?”
“Heechul’s been sitting at the back of our class since we started college. How have you not heard of him?”
“I don’t know everyone in our class, Chunnie. I just pretend to.”
“No. You’re just self-obsessed.”
“Now. Now. Don’t get testy.”
“SONGSAENGNIM! Please let me come in. I’ve never been late for a class before-“
What? Hasn’t he left yet?
“No, Heechul. We’ll talk about this after college. But you aren’t coming…”
I apologize.
I sort of lost track of what he was saying when I heard - “TALK ABOUT THIS AFTER COLLEGE”.
After college.
When they’ll be alone.
When sexy time in mangas usually happen.
When this Kim Fucking Heechul will get his grimy paws on MY sexy Siwon.
I think I just broke Yoochun’s favorite pencil.
END FLASHBACK
So now, where was I?
Oh, right.
What I saw outside the window…was seriously just bordering on desperate.
I mean if you want his attention so badly then hump him in front of class or something. Geez.
I mean the kid needs a ‘Captain Obvious’ sticker stapled to his forehead or something.
“Yoochun-ah, tell me what I’m seeing is just a figment of my retarded imagination…”
“…”
“So…I am in fact actually looking at this blatant display of nonsense…”
“…”
“…”
Tell me something beautiful readers? If you saw a weird boy from your class standing outside your building, writing fancy notes addressed to the teacher on sand…what would you think?
Because right now all I could really see was Kim Fucking Heechul standing beside a bunch of writing on the ground that said something along the lines of “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I promise to be better next time. Please let me in.”
I know right?
My reaction was all like à -_-… O_o… OTL
Everyone else on the other hand were like à :3 or *_* or better yet, this
But things, of course, got worse when Mr. “Fantabulously-fantastically-smexy-hot” said and I quote (Because I seriously wrote this down right after he said it for future revenge purposes) , “Well then I guess we better let Mr. Kim in. I’d be stupid not to see the sincerity in that.”
And then he laughed.
Not the “Haha, I’m so amused by my cute student” kind of laugh. It was the “Haha, Can anyone get this cute?”kind of laugh.
Bitch.
It is on.
It is sooooo on that even Damon Salvatore will cower in fear.
Oh yeah.
I went there.
[ We’ll have to skip a bit of the insane freakout I had after this incident. It wasn’t very becoming of me. Yoochun called it the biggest “Jaejoong gone full retard” event of the year.
But those were just mere glitches.
No one seemed too surprised by it anyway.]
Now as for Heechul, I had it all worked out.
I had to corner him after college.
Beat him up.
Make him cry.
And release a war cry of victory.
But you can imagine my extreme surprise when later that evening, a cornered Heechul glared back defiantly at me and asked me whether I was on crack.
“Oh please. I know you’re up to something.” I sneered back at him.
No one beats me at being a diva.
No one.
“Oh do explain, Jaejoong-ssi. I’m all ears.”
What is with people and rolling their eyes at me?
“The fact that Siwon knew your name even before his first class shows that you’ve been doing some behind the scenes work…and it also explains why you knew about him even before entering class too.”
“Of course I know him outside of College you dimwit. He’s Yunho’s B.R.O.T.H.E.R! Everyone who ever grew up around Yunho knows who Siwon is. INCLUDING YOU!”
Heechul was around us that long? Seriously?
Wow.
Wait, never mind. We’ll get back to that later.
“AHA but that doesn’t explain why he knows you!”
“Oh sweet baby Jesus. Do you live under a rock? He has to know me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m engaged to his brother, you fool.”
Oh.
Hot damn.
Present day:
Now before you'll get your pretty panties into a twist, I''d just like to leave you'll with a thought.
A fairy tale has never been written without its share of ups and downs.
And an antagonist is always appreciated even amongst the worst of critiques.
Kim Heechul did in fact become my biggest rival that day.
I just didn’t place too much importance on it until much much later.
But to this day I remain indebted to that filthy piece of shit, because if it weren’t for him and his manipulative tendencies…I never would have been able to tell the difference between the real Prince Charming and his more than attractive reflection.
____________________________________________________________________________________
A/N HAI! Did you guys enjoy the chapter? I know you did~! So comment.