[Hey! Look who it is! It's... Ironhide. In bed. In a pokemon center. Careful observers may notice that it is, in fact, the Azalea Town Pokemon Center
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[It probably says something to how much human culture he passed over in favor of learning about war, weapons and explosives, that going to a restaurant never occurred to him.]
I am not doing it wrong. Just... never done this before. Or gone... anywhere before.
[He considers this question for a minute, before doing something probably detrimental to his health. He shifts around, reaching his good arm for something tossed at the foot of the bed.]
[... give him a minute. He'll get it.]
[It's a wrapper. From the pocket of his coat. And it previously contained the Jhoto version of a Cliff Bar or other nasty meal bar thing.]
Well, you could just ask the nurse for some... or, y'know, use your 'Gear to look up places in town and be like 'Yo, bring a pizza to the Center'-- ... or I guess you're in Azalea, huh... Azalea doesn't really have anything.
... I heard you could eat those, but the townspeople would probably crucify anyone who tried. I tripped over one once and got some little old lady from one of the houses bitching me out for like twenty minutes.
... Did you and Cliffjumper decide to take his name literally or something?
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[... If Ironhide weren't traveling with Cliffjumper, who was equally in the dark about such things, he probably would actually enjoy food.]
[But both of them are sort of terrible at this, so he just scowls again.]
It does not.
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[... As soon as they're all in the same city, Heather's gonna show 'em how to eat right. Because seriously, food is awesome.]
If it doesn't, that means you're doing it wrong. Go to a restaurant or something once you can get up. It's worth it, I promise.
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[It probably says something to how much human culture he passed over in favor of learning about war, weapons and explosives, that going to a restaurant never occurred to him.]
I am not doing it wrong. Just... never done this before. Or gone... anywhere before.
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Anyway, c'mon, it's food! It's like... the one thing that all humans can agree pretty much rocks. What've you been EATING this whole time?
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[He considers this question for a minute, before doing something probably detrimental to his health. He shifts around, reaching his good arm for something tossed at the foot of the bed.]
[... give him a minute. He'll get it.]
[It's a wrapper. From the pocket of his coat. And it previously contained the Jhoto version of a Cliff Bar or other nasty meal bar thing.]
These.
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[But she leans in curiously when he pulls out the bar... and then makes a face. You know the kind. Somewhere half between disgust and incredulity.]
... Those?
That's IT?
... Christ, no WONDER you don't think food tastes good. Holy SHIT.
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[He shrugs his good shoulder slightly.]
Everything else was too fragile to pack around.
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No.
[As though this is some sort of TRAVESTY, Heather just... shakes her head, eyes shut tight.]
No, man... just--
Cliff can still walk, right?
He needs to go out and buy ... like... muffins, or something, for you guys right now.
God, how are you even still alive if all you've been eating are those things... They taste like the skin of the elderly.
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Not really. He hurt his ankle...
[He pauses, before adding.]
Someone sent us baked things a while ago. Those were not bad. And we tried... making things. That failed.
[They burned everything they tried to cook.]
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But man, that's what convenience stores are for! There's still like... a zillion things that're better than those.
[Otherwise she'd have never survived the trips from town to town.]
Seriously, just... eat a sandwich, or order some takeout, or... or try some of the soup they always serve in the Centers, even that's not TOO bad!
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[Honestly, Napalm probably eats better than he does. She's his weapon, now, and Ironhide takes damn good care of his weapons. And his charges.]
And how am I to do any of that now? Hm? Just get up and go?
[ASK FOR HELP? HIM? NEVER.]
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[... Except Slowpokes.]
[So many Slowpokes.]
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[Oh, he will. He just won't admit to doing it. Ever.]
It has small... stupid pink things.
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Yeah, they're just kinda... everywhere.
... I heard you could eat those, but the townspeople would probably crucify anyone who tried. I tripped over one once and got some little old lady from one of the houses bitching me out for like twenty minutes.
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