Tears are rolling down my face again. Dean's pain is just so raw, so real and so huge, it chokes me just to think about it. Sam's letter just about killed me! But I do like the hopeful note this story ends on, and I'd wish for Dean to be able to feel some day that he does indeed deserve this life, doesn't just have to endure it because of a promise.
*sigh* Let's see what season six makes of this attempt to live a "normal" life!
Thanks for writing this! I can totally see why this is therapeutic. :)
*hugs tight* I'm so sorry this made you cry, darling! I will confess to becoming quite teary during the writing of it - mostly because I was that affected by the end of the episode and I couldn't wrap my head around the enormity of Dean's fate.
I'd wish for Dean to be able to feel some day that he does indeed deserve this life, doesn't just have to endure it because of a promise.
Me, too. I'd like to think that Dean is strong enough to survive into a happier future. It took herculean effort to make it this far, so I want to believe he can apply that same effort to finding some kind of peace.
I was that affected by the end of the episode and I couldn't wrap my head around the enormity of Dean's fate.
Me too! I cried so hard during the episode, and I wasn't even sure exactly why - I was sad and hopeful at the same time. I just wanted to take all the pain away from Dean somehow.
I think the future now is a new kind of battle for Dean, because it is a battle only for the sake of himself (and Lisa and Ben, of course). There's the promise, but it's just something that will keep him hanging on, not something that can stand in as a purpose like Sam and John did.
I also think that accepting Sam as an adult capable of making his own (valid) decisions finally meant for Dean to establish himself as a being separate from Sam, something he's never managed to do in the past. That's kind of the base he's now starting out on. There's probably a lot he'll be able to discover about himself now. I'd wish for him to hit on that inner strength without it needing to be used for something other than himself!
There's the promise, but it's just something that will keep him hanging on, not something that can stand in as a purpose like Sam and John did.
Exactly. He's seen himself and the trajectory of his life in only one way for his entire life and he had himself convinced he wasn't going to live long (even before Lucifer), so now that he might have the possibility of a different life, I wonder what he might choose or explore, what skills he might develop. The thing is, he has to want it, to believe that he can make his own way now for himself.
I'd wish for him to hit on that inner strength without it needing to be used for something other than himself!
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oh, dean. i love this evocation of his grief, and eventually, his healing.
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*sigh* Let's see what season six makes of this attempt to live a "normal" life!
Thanks for writing this! I can totally see why this is therapeutic. :)
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I'd wish for Dean to be able to feel some day that he does indeed deserve this life, doesn't just have to endure it because of a promise.
Me, too. I'd like to think that Dean is strong enough to survive into a happier future. It took herculean effort to make it this far, so I want to believe he can apply that same effort to finding some kind of peace.
Thanks so much for reading, dear. ♥
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Me too! I cried so hard during the episode, and I wasn't even sure exactly why - I was sad and hopeful at the same time. I just wanted to take all the pain away from Dean somehow.
I think the future now is a new kind of battle for Dean, because it is a battle only for the sake of himself (and Lisa and Ben, of course). There's the promise, but it's just something that will keep him hanging on, not something that can stand in as a purpose like Sam and John did.
I also think that accepting Sam as an adult capable of making his own (valid) decisions finally meant for Dean to establish himself as a being separate from Sam, something he's never managed to do in the past. That's kind of the base he's now starting out on. There's probably a lot he'll be able to discover about himself now. I'd wish for him to hit on that inner strength without it needing to be used for something other than himself!
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There's the promise, but it's just something that will keep him hanging on, not something that can stand in as a purpose like Sam and John did.
Exactly. He's seen himself and the trajectory of his life in only one way for his entire life and he had himself convinced he wasn't going to live long (even before Lucifer), so now that he might have the possibility of a different life, I wonder what he might choose or explore, what skills he might develop. The thing is, he has to want it, to believe that he can make his own way now for himself.
I'd wish for him to hit on that inner strength without it needing to be used for something other than himself!
Absolutely!
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Beautifully done, thank you.
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