The Life & Times of Meadow Thayer: 2.1
[65+ IMAGES, ADULT SITUATIONS, DRAMA]
LAST TIME on the Thayer Legacy, Sally moved in to help Meadow with the baby. They went furniture shopping and ran into Bella. Alon stopped by to help out. And we ended with Meadow running into a pregnant Nina Caliente and a pregnant Cassandra Goth. Also, on a SPECIAL UPDATE, Trixie Realtor ran into the Simpranos and, er, disappeared.
After running into Nina and Cassandra at the cafe, I had this awful feeling something scary was about to happen. Luckily for me, Sally was there to diffuse the situation and suggest that we all go back to our place for macaroni and cheese.
Nina: I can't believe that no-good bastard knocked us all up!
Sally: Did he really think he could get away with it? What an idiot!
Nina: I really doubt he was thinking. At least, not with that head.
I turned to Cassandra, who was being very quiet.
Meadow: You alright, Cassandra?
Cassandra: Yeah, I guess. I suppose I'm not entirely surprised. I mean, I'd heard rumors, and there was that article right after our wedding and-
Nina: Ohhh... girls, I don't feel so good.
Sally: What is it?
Suddenly, Nina stood up and clutched her stomach.
Nina: Oww, ow ow ow! Oh I think I'm going into labor!
Meadow: HOLY CRAP!
I just couldn't believe Nina was going into labor, right in my kitchen! Sally hurried to the phone and called an ambulance. But by the time they arrived, Nina was already too far into labor to be taken away.
And right in the middle of my kitchen, Nina gave birth to her son, Kevin Caliente. Even she couldn't help but notice how much he looked like Don.
It was lucky they called though, because I went into labor just a few minutes later. I don't know if it was the shock of seeing Nina give birth, or if it was just my time, but within moments I felt my stomach clenching with contractions.
The other girls looked shocked, and the EMT's quickly hurried over to help me. But like Nina, my labor was fast, and I didn't even make it onto the stretcher.
Her name was Dawn, and she was the most beautiful little girl I'd ever seen. Sure, she had Don's dark hair, but she had my purple eyes. And no matter who her father was, she was my little girl.
The next day, while Dawn slept in her crib beside her brother Kevin, Sally invited Nina and Cassandra over for makeovers. Or, as she liked to call it, 'practice'. She was actually really good for someone who had never even taking a lesson. She was even thinking about taking some classes during the day at a beauty school nearby.
Nina: Are you sure about this? I mean, I've had this hair my whole life!
Sally: My point exactly.
When Sally was finished, she pulled out a mirror to show Nina the result.
Nina: Oh, it's so SHORT! My hair! But damn, I look hot!
I had to admit that Nina did look great with her short, funky hair.
Next up to the chair was Cassandra.
Cassandra: I'm not sure about this...
Sally: Listen, hun. You're in your twenties and that is just too old for pigtails!
After a tense 30 minutes it was time for the reveal.
Cassandra: Oh, wow, Sally! My hair looks so pretty! But.. where are my glasses?
Sally: Glasses? What glasses. From now on, its contacts for you, hun!
I personally thought Cassandra looked great without her glasses. But then, just when I thought this whole makeover business was over, Sally dragged me to the chair.
Sally: Meadow, don't think you're excluded from this! You're a mom now, you need a more sophisticated look.
I couldn't exactly say no, could I?
I tried not to wince as hair started flying in every direction. I just clenched my eyes shut and wished she'd hurry up and finish. And finally, she did.
Sally: TADA!
Meadow: Oh, WOW! Sally, it's so short and-
Sally: And it's absolutely perfect on you.
It was shorter than I could ever remember. But I had to admit, it did make me look like a Mom.
Over the next day or so, I began settling in to life as a Mother. During the night, while Dawn slept, I studied for my classes and spent time relaxing with Sally and Alon.
And during the days I took care of my little girl. I learned to change her diapers...
And after a bit of practice, I finally got down the perfect temperature for her bottles. I was so nervous about messing up something; I constantly worried that her bottle would be too hot, or her diapers too tight. But eventually, I got the hang of everything and I stopped worrying so much.
But more importantly, I made sure to shower my daughter with love.
Her father may have been a no-good jerk, but she was an innocent little angel.
Later that day, while Dawn was sleeping, Sally and I sat down to talk.
Meadow: I've been thinking about the crazy things that have been going on, and trying to do some sleuthing of my own, but I'm way over my head here!
Sally: Maybe you should hire a private detective!
Meadow: Are you sure?
Sally: Of course! I mean, sleuthing is what they do for a living!
Meadow: Well, I guess that would be a good idea!
Sally: Of course it is! Look, I'll go call 411 right now and find someone!
So Sally picked up the phone and called, and before I knew it she'd found a PI right near where we lived.
Mrs Oldie offered to come over and watch Dawn, and Sally and I headed out to visit this detective. It was only a short walk down a few streets, and we were standing in front of the office.
Sally: You sure about this?
Meadow: Let's go, Sal!
We walked inside and straight into a waiting room, where we saw... no one.
Meadow: Hello?
A voice called out from beyond the next door, asking us to please wait there. Sally looked around the slightly dingy room with a worried look on her face.
Sally: I don't know about this, Meadow! It's a bit... dirty. And he doesn't even have a receptionist!
Meadow: Come on, Sally, give him a chance! I'll be your BFF for life!
Sally: You already are my BFF, you dork. But alright.
After a few minutes, we heard a voice calling from the other room.
Detective: OK, you can come in now!
Nervously, we stepped through the door and into a very messy office.
Herlock: Hello! I'm Herlock Sholmes, of Herlock Sholmes Investigations: We'll Solve Any Crime By Dinner Time! Well not really, but you know, we try! Anyway, you can call me Lock.
Sally: Meadow... I don't like the looks of this place. It's a complete shambles!
Sally: Let's just get out of here, yeah?
Herlock: Wait, please don't go!
He pushed back from his chair and scrambled to get up, only to stumble over the edge of his chair and fall to the floor.
Immediately, he jumped up and brushed himself off.
Herlock: Heh, I'm alright!
Meadow: Are you sure?
Herlock: Yeah, I'm just a bit clumsy sometimes. And I've been meaning to clean this place up. Please, have a seat and tell me about your case!
So we sat down and told him everything. About my Mom and Dad, and Mortimer, and Bella, and the strange people in the car.
Herlock: Wow.
Meadow: Yeah, it's a bit overwelming, isn't it?
Herlock: It is. But I'll see what I can find out. Why don't you write down the addresses of all these people, and I'll start with some simple surveillance and careful questioning?
Herlock: After all, we wouldn't want to scare anyone into beating us up, hahaha!
Sally and I just stared silently at him.
Finally, Sally spoke.
Sally: That really wasn't funny...
Herlock: Er yeah, sorry about that. I have an odd sense of humor I guess. Anyway, I'll get to work on your case immediately, and I'll brief in a few days?
The next few days were so busy that I didn't even have time to hang out with Alon. Instead, I started back up at work while Sally watched Dawn for me. Since Dr. Hamalamba had died, I had been promoted. It turned out that I was the only one who knew anything about his algae experiments.
It was so much work trying to decipher his notes, that I had to hire someone to take my old job cleaning cages. Always excited to be able to help out an old friend, I hired Sylvia, my old friend from the Orphanage who had just turned 18 a few days ago.
Sylvia: Thanks so much for getting me this job, Meadow!
Meadow: Hey, what's a job between friends? Besides, I know you'll do an amazing job.
The next day, Nina and I met up with Cass at her home. It was time to teach Don a lesson.
Cassandra: He's in the living room, doing... well, just wait and see!
Don *singing in falsetto* Slam it to the left, if you are having a good time. Shake it to the right, if you know that you feel fine. Chicas it to to the front, Uh Uh, go around...
What an imbecile. I couldn't help but wonder if the other girls were thinking what I was. What had we seen in this man?
And then, he turned around.
Don: OH! I- Er- You- Hey- What- M-meadow? N-nina? C-C-Cass?
Cassandra: You dirty lying bastard! To think that I loved you, that we all cared about you, while you were sleeping around behind our backs! You said you were so happy when you found out I was pregnant-
Don: I am, darling! I love children!
Cassandra: Well then you'll be glad to know that soon you'll have three! Nina just had your first son, Meadow had your daughter, and my little one will be on the way in just a few months!
Don: I- I didn't-
Cassandra: How many others are there floating around, Don?
Don: none! In fact, I'm sure these two slu- women are just lying!
Cassandra: How DARE YOU!
I couldn't help but smile when Cassandra slapped him. He deserved it, after all.
I myself wasn't really one for violence, but I really enjoyed watching Cass and Nina do their thing.
Cassandra: I've had enough of your lies, Don. Don't even try to make excuses.
Cassandra: I just want you OUT of here!
Don: But- But-
Cassandra: GET OUT!
I really had to try hard not to laugh when Don burst into tears. And then, he was gone. He ran out the door, tears streaming down his cheeks, and dressed only his tiny green underwear.
And there were hugs all around.
All three of us felt so proud, especially of Cassandra for sticking up for herself and for what she knew was right. It was an odd moment of bonding for three woman whose children all had the same father.
That day may have been a good one for us, but the next one was just the opposite.
It was the day that Mortimer was finally laid to rest in the family cemetery. We all gathered around the tomb in our mourning clothes and looked on sadly as Bella cried for her husband.
After a moment, I noticed a blonde woman who had come in with Nina also crying over Mortimer's grave. I wondered who she was.
Bella: Thank you so much for being here Dina. It means so much to me to have you here. Especially when I wasn't there for Michael's funeral.
Nina pulled me aside and Bella and the stranger started to talk.
Meadow: Who is that blonde lady, Nina?
Nina: That's my twin sister, Dina. She used to be married to Bella's brother Michael, but he died about 15 years ago.
Meadow: Oh, that's so sad! But wasn't 15 years ago when Bel-
Suddenly, our conversation was cut off by Dina's loud voice.
Dina: How dare you act all nice to me, you bitch! It's all your fault my Mortimer is dead!
Bella: YOUR Mortimer? He was MY husband!
Dina: And where were you these past 15 years, Bella? I was the one that comforted him at night when he couldn't sleep! ME!
Bella: No- Mortimer would never sleep with someone as easy as you!
Dina: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME EASY, YOU TRAMP!
And before anyone could move, Dina shoved Bella as hard as she could, nearly pushing the poor woman over her husband's tombstone.
As Dina stalked away, Bella hurried around to the other side of the tombstone and began to sob. Bella couldn't help but cry. Here she was, on the day of her husband's funeral, and she had just discovered her husband's infidelity with this gold-digging skank. She was so distressed that at first she didn't notice the two creepy looking men who joined the mourners in the small cemetery. Most of us didn't notice, either. After all, what was so suspicious about two men in black at a funeral?
The taller of the two made his way straight to Bella.
Tony: Hey, Babe. Miss me?
--------------------PRODUCTION NOTES----------------------
- BAD SALLY! BAD!
- Don has been to OMG LIKE 10 SPICE GIRLS CONCERTS!
- He also knows the lyrics to all their songs, and has a thong that says "Spice" on it.
- We apologize for the lack of Alon in this update. It shall be remedied immediately.
- Would the world implode if you Googled Smoogle?