[TEXT]

[shockinglycool]

When you're friends with someone, it's normal to want to take care of them, and feed them, and make sure they're healthy, and make sure they grow to become good adults, even if that means scolding them sometimes, right? Well, it's not like I'm so stupid I don't realize that that's some overlap with "family" and "parents" in doing that, but even so

Comments

[kan_chyan]

Isn't considering someone family just making them someone closer than just a friend? Where you do care about your friends you only go so far for them, while family you go much further. A friend you leave some things to them, it would be rude to interject, it's their life. But a family, even if not blood, you will interject anyway, even if it makes them mad, because you care about them that much.

I guess, family is when you don't mind if they hate you, if it's for their own good.

[shockinglycool]

But if you care about them so much that they're family, then of course you'd mind if they hated you. That would actually make the feeling worse, right? It's much easier to be disliked by the people you don't care about.

[kan_chyan]

Sometimes, but sometimes a person is more important than their feelings. You don't want to be disliked, but you're willing to sacrifice that for them. Where, a friend them liking you is more important.

[shockinglycool]

...

Sacrifice is a little different, though.

[betterassister]

Well...Ohana means that you treat friends like family. And you can sort of just pick whatever fits, there's no real trick to it.

[shockinglycool]

But what makes you start treating them like family?

[betterassister]

Well...people grow close to you. You care about them very much. They're a part of your life, and- and people become important.

[shockinglycool]

I definitely agree, just... I just figured that was friendship.

[beatsupboys]

You choose your friends. You don't choose your family. But... sometimes you can make a new family with your friends, I think. Only it's different, because you made it.

[shockinglycool]

But how do you realize that your friend has become your family?

[beatsupboys]

I think you just decide...?

Maybe you should ask Nani. She's good at explaining this stuff.

[shockinglycool]

Saying "I decide" works, but it wouldn't happen overnight.

She is, isn't she. So, do you have "family" like this?

[skybound_love]

Well, there is the matter of blood, for one thing. If you put any importance on genetic bonds.

[shockinglycool]

Well, of course, but not everyone has that.

[skybound_love]

I don't really see much difference between family and true friends, myself.

[shockinglycool]

Well, sure, but in that case, why call them different things?

[pilot_princess]

What's a family like?

[shockinglycool]

I'm not technically sure. It's your parents and siblings and grandparents and so on, but not everyone has them. There's Grandpa, for me, at the temple, because he raised me; I guess that's the literal definition. But I also kinda apparently tend to treat my friends like other people treat family, and Shinji said I was acting like your parent, so I've been wondering if my definition is wrong.

[pilot_princess]

I used to read books and stuff about families, but... maybe they're just really really close friends?

Shinji said you were acting like my parent? How so?

[shockinglycool]

But that's where terms like "best friends" come in, right? I feel like there's probably some difference in there somewhere.

He didn't really explain that part.