Behind the Net: Across the Distance (A Sequel) - Chapter 8
Title: Behind the Net: Across the Distance (A Sequel)
Author: shmorgenheigen
Chapter: Eight
Rating: R
Pairing: Pierre/David
Word Count: 5174
Summary: The continuation of the story Behind the Net, picking up right where the original story left off. David and Pierre explore their new relationship while navigating a long distance relationship. While Pierre is in Anchorage in his first year of college and playing college hockey, David is stuck back in Juneau to finish his senior year of high school. When an unlikely person from David’s past shows up and forces their way back into David’s life, things take a turn for the dramatic. Will David and Pierre be able to maintain their love for each other while separated and stave off those pesky feelings of loneliness, jealousy, and depression?
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: When I started to re-write Behind the Net from Pierre’s perspective, I started to think about how much story there would be to tell when Pierre went off to college, leaving David alone in Juneau. I became obsessed with the idea of writing the next chapter in their story and now that it’s finished, I am absolutely in love with how it turned out and the original characters I added into the story! If anyone reads this, leave me a comment and let me know!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Over the next two weeks Hunter continued to try to talk to David with no success. David had taken to glaring at the other boy without saying a word, though there were a few times that Hunter had persisted and tried to sit down with him, and in those times David had stood and took his lunch tray with him, throwing away whatever was uneaten and heading toward his next class. He didn’t understand why the other boy was being so persistent. It had been almost two years since they had broken up, why couldn’t he just let it go all of a sudden? He had moved past any fear of the other boy, surrounded as they always were by other people, and had moved into pure hatred and anger. It was frustrating beyond belief, and David was starting to lose his patience.
Every day when he spoke to Pierre, before Pierre began to talk about his own day he would ask, “Did he bother you today?” his voice forceful and serious as if he didn’t trust that David would tell him if he didn’t ask. Of course, Pierre knew him all too well; David absolutely wouldn't have bothered saying anything if his boyfriend didn’t demand an answer. He felt there was nothing to tell, because really all that was happening was Hunter would approach him at lunch, say his name, ask him to talk to him, and David would glare at him until he went away, or if he didn’t go away David would remove himself from the situation. Each day it was no different than the last and he got tired of talking to him about it.
He had even tried sitting in the library during lunch one day but Hunter had walked by and found him to his absolute irritation. “Just leave me alone!” David had yelled at him, earning shushes and glares from all around him as he did. He had stormed out of the library and gone to get himself lunch, figuring if the other boy was going to bug him anyway he might as well actually eat something, though Hunter hadn’t followed him after being yelled at and David was grateful to eat his lunch in peace that day.
It was the last day of September when Hunter came up to him again despite the fact that he had sat at a different table in a different part of the cafeteria. David just kept his eyes on his sketchbook, refusing to look up, but the more Hunter stood there the more his lines began to get jagged and dark on the page.
“Will you just give me a chance?” Hunter asked, sounding frustrated and a little desperate. David refused to look up, though he had positively ruined the drawing he had been working on in his irritation and he stared at the page with a sour expression on his features. “Come on, David, I just want to be friends,” he continued, the frustration at his attempts being ignored clear in his voice.
At this David snapped and he stood, his hands finding the table in front of him. “We were never friends!” he yelled, before beginning to grab his bag and his lunch tray to leave.
“Stop! I’ll go!” Hunter told him suddenly, surprising David a little who looked back at him with an angry look of apprehension. “Just… eat your lunch, please. I’m tired of watching you throw it away.” And with that he sighed and turned around, walking away and finding a group of his friends. David glared after him but sat slowly, pulling his lunch tray back to himself as he watched the other boy with distrust.
That evening when he talked to Pierre, he could tell that his boyfriend had reached his limit on this situation.
“I’m seriously gonna come kick his ass!” Pierre exclaimed, his chest burning with anger and frustration and his inability to do anything to stop what was happening to his boyfriend. “I’m gonna get on a plane, I’m gonna go to school with you tomorrow, and I’m gonna kick the shit out of him!”
David sighed, wishing Pierre would just stop asking about Hunter so they could go back to having pleasant conversations about how hockey practice was going or the new friends he had made. “You can’t do that,” he reasoned, his voice cold with exasperation. “Hunter’s seventeen, you’re eighteen. If you get in a fight with him, you as a legal adult will get in trouble for fighting a legal minor. He’s not worth your future, and frankly, I’m tired of talking about him!”
Pierre was silent at the way David had just snapped at him. The two hadn’t argued since their temporary breakup the previous March and the sound of his boyfriend’s frustration toward him made him nervous. Rather than rising to David’s anger and reciprocating it, he kept his voice calm and tried to de-escalate the situation. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m just worried about you and I’m going crazy being here and not being able to help.”
David immediately felt guilt tear at him and he sighed again, this time sadly. “No, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m just so frustrated with him, and I miss talking to you about happy things.”
Pierre was silent for a moment, wanting to say something but not knowing what. “I miss you,” he settled on, laying back against his pillow and looking up at the ceiling.
“I miss you too,” David breathed back, suddenly feeling the overwhelming urge to cry but holding it in, not wanting to make Pierre feel even worse than he already had. “You have your first game soon, right?” he asked, wanting to shift the mood to something that would feel normal.
“Yeah,” Pierre responded sadly, though he was actually really excited about it. “I wish you could come,” he continued, his heart heavy in his chest.
“Me too,” David replied, sounding just as sad. He had gone from snapping at his boyfriend to making him sad; what a great boyfriend he was. “I’ll get to see a game soon though, I’m sure,” he tried.
“Will you let me fly you out to see one sometime next month?” Pierre asked hopefully.
“I wish I could, but I have to focus on school and so do you. A weekend’s just not long enough. But I’m still coming to see you for Thanksgiving break, right?” he replied, hating telling his boyfriend no, wishing more than anything that he could fly out to see Pierre every weekend but knowing it just wasn’t feasible.
“Yeah,” Pierre sighed again, hating that it would be another eight weeks before he would see his boyfriend. He had optimistically thought he would be able to fly David out every few weeks to see him, but David was right, with both of their school loads (especially Pierre’s), they just couldn’t manage it. Pierre had to stay incredibly on top of himself in order to keep up with his full credit load, plus hockey, plus a strict training and workout regimen. He was training more intensely than he ever had before and he honestly couldn’t wait for David to see him again and to see the transformation his body had already made in the short time they’d been apart. He knew another eight weeks and he’d be cut and muscular in a way David hadn’t seen of him before. “That’s just so far away.”
“I know, but if we’re gonna make it through this we have to stay on top of our grades, and I really have to build up my portfolio if I want to get accepted into a fashion program. I’ve always ignored women’s clothes but if I’m gonna get in anywhere I have to catch up. I’ve been making dresses and skirts and all sorts of women’s clothes but I have no one to model them on and I don’t have a dress form so I’ve been having to try them on myself,” he explained, shaking his head at himself.
A smile broke across Pierre’s lips and he laughed lightly, trying to imagine David wearing a dress. “I’m sure you look beautiful,” he teased gently.
“Shut up!” David said back with a laugh. “They don’t look right on me but I don’t have another choice.”
“Well maybe Santa will come up with some solution for you for Christmas,” Pierre responded cryptically.
“Are you Santa?” David asked with a note of skepticism in his voice.
“Would you like to sit on my lap, young man?” Pierre asked, throwing on an old man voice as he did.
“Eeeewww,” David retorted, laughing again.
They both laughed for a minute, feeling light and airy for the first time together in a little while. When the laughter died down, Pierre sighed quietly before saying, “I really miss you.”
David smiled a little and replied, “I really miss you too.” A devilish thought crossed his mind and he bit his lip. “Do you think about me when you’re all alone?” he asked seductively.
“Of course I do,” Pierre responded, his tone shifting to match his boyfriend’s. “I literally hear you saying you want me insi-”
“Sshhh!! Stop!” David interrupted him frantically, his face flushing bright red in embarrassment.
Pierre laughed and shook his head slowly. “I can’t,” he told him honestly. “It’s on repeat in my head.”
“Just forget I said that,” David pleaded, covering his face with a hand.
“I will literally never forget that you said that as long as I live,” Pierre told him with a stubborn grin. He heard David whine in response and could imagine how beet red his face was. “That was the single greatest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“I just wanted it so bad,” David whined again, still covering his face.
“And it was fucking awesome,” Pierre told him with a grin. “You have no idea how much willpower it took to hold myself back.”
David sighed and laid back on his bed. “How long until Thanksgiving?”
“Eight weeks,” Pierre responded. “Eight loooong weeks.”
“I might die by then,” David told him dramatically.
“You better not,” Pierre said seriously. “I’m taking you. Eight weeks from now, you’re mine.”
David felt his body heat up and he bit his bottom lip. “You’d better,” he replied simply, though he felt embarrassment well up inside of him at his own words and how open he was being about what he wanted Pierre to do to him.
Before long the conversation dwindled to its end and the two were saying goodnight. David laid in his bed staring up at his ceiling, his cheeks pink at the plans they had just concretely made. Thanksgiving break. They would be having sex for the first time when David went to see Pierre over Thanksgiving break. They had openly discussed it and had agreed to it verbally, both of them. It was actually going to happen.
Pierre laid in his bed having the same revelation, realizing the way they had just both said what they wanted and agreed they would be doing it. Though it had been through banter and though they had been flirting, there was no denying that they had just agreed they were going to have sex when David came to see him in November. Pierre’s mind was racing when Jay came back into the room and he didn’t say anything to him, too consumed with his own thoughts to be pulled away from them.
The following Monday at school, it was with great irritation that David became aware of Hunter standing in front of him yet again. He looked up at him, glaring hard. “Seriously, will you just give it a rest?” David asked bluntly, his frustration clear in his voice.
“Will you just give me a chance to talk to you?” Hunter retorted, his voice filled with just as much frustration.
David glared at him for a second longer before looking back down to his sketchbook and continuing on the design he was working on, refusing to give the boy another word. He would just ignore him until he gave up and walked away.
Then another boy walked up to the table, giving David a furtive glance before putting a hand on Hunter’s elbow to grab his attention. David looked up at him, allowing the unfriendly look to drop from his features and just looking at the other boy with mild curiosity. He had seen Hunter talking to this boy several times before and had gotten the feeling that they were close friends, though he couldn’t say for sure.
“Dude, got a minute?” the boy asked, glancing back at David again in a nervous, uncomfortable fashion.
Hunter allowed himself to be pulled a few feet away and as he did David heard the other boy’s voice very clearly say, “Dude, you know that’s that gay kid right?”
David sighed and looked back down at his sketchpad. Clearly this kid was trying to save Hunter from apparent social suicide.
“Well it’d be weird if I didn’t considering I dated him for over a year,” Hunter’s voice came back loud and strong. David’s eyes shot open wide and he sat up straight, unable to keep himself from snapping his head in their direction again.
“Dude, what?” his friend said back, his hushed tone forgotten in his genuine surprise.
“Don’t worry about it. Hey, tell Noah to bring his distortion pedal to practice today, mine busted,” he responded cooly, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on his friend out of the blue. Then he turned and walked back to David, who was staring at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. “What?”
“Why did you do that?!” David whispered at him, for the moment his irritation forgotten entirely.
“It’s not a big deal,” Hunter responded, as if the answer was really that simple. “People need to calm the fuck down about who’s gay and who’s not. It’s stupid and it really doesn’t matter.”
David stared at him, his mouth still hanging open, completely floored by the change in the other boy’s attitude on this topic. “What if he stops talking to you?” he asked, his voice still in a whisper in his shock.
“Nah, he’ll be fine,” he replied dismissively, before taking his opportunity and sitting down next to David at the table. “Now will you please just listen to what I have to say?” he asked, and immediately David’s defenses went back up and he leaned away from the other boy. “David please, I just want to be friends,” he said again.
David shook his head and looked away, his face cold as he responded, “We were never friends.”
“And I was a shit head to you and I’m sorry,” Hunter responded, and though his words were kind his voice was still defensive and frustrated sounding.
David furrowed his brow but kept his face turned away. “Why should I believe you?” he asked, his voice heavy with distrust.
“I guess you really don’t have to, but it’d be nice if you did,” Hunter replied, his voice still sounding forceful in spite of his words. “Look, when you broke up with me it opened my eyes to how shitty I’d been. I’m sorry that’s what it took for me to see it, but it did. I’ve grown a lot in the last two years and I’d really like it if you gave me a chance to prove it to you.”
David looked back at Hunter suddenly, his hazel eyes alive with anger and indignation. “I don’t know how much you’ve grown, you clearly still don’t know how to take no for an answer,” he snapped coldly.
His words seemed to humble Hunter a little and the defensive look fell from his face. “I’m really sorry about what I did to you. And I’m sorry about everything I put you through, and all of my mental bullshit I put on you. Everything about our relationship I handled wrong, and I’ve spent the last two years regretting it and trying to change for the better because of it.”
David felt the cold glare soften on his face and he stared blankly at the other boy, searching his eyes for any sign that he was lying but not seeing it. “Why do you care so much if I talk to you?” he asked, distrust still evident in his voice.
“Just because we broke up, it doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you,” Hunter told him quietly. “And before you say it, I know you have a boyfriend. I know about your hockey player, I’m not trying to get in the way of that. I’m legitimately just trying to be your friend,” he added, defensiveness tingeing his words again.
“How do you know about that?” David asked, not able to think of anything else to say in the moment.
“You’re joking right?” Hunter asked bluntly. “Everyone knows about that. We all saw the picture, David.” David blushed a little and looked away again. “From one gay kid to another, there aren’t exactly a lot of us around, ya know? It’d be nice to be able to call you a friend.”
David sighed with irritation and looked back at Hunter, hating that he was feeling his resolve cracking. “I’m not saying we’re going to be friends,” he said, holding finger up with a stern look on his face. “But I’ll agree to be civil.” Hunter smiled and leaned back a little, seeming to relax a bit at David’s answer. “But that doesn’t mean I trust you!” he added quickly.
Hunter held up both hands and leaned a little further back. “Totally fair,” he responded quickly.
David held his gaze of distrust for a moment longer before moving his attention back to the design he was working on. They sat for the rest of the lunch period in silence, and though David didn’t speak another word to Hunter or look his way even one more time, Hunter stayed at the table with him, pulling out a notebook and scribbling in it in silence. When the end of lunch bell sounded, David stood and grabbed his tray, his eyes following Hunter with wariness as the other boy stood and gave him a nod, giving a quiet, “See ya.” David glared after him, watching him walk away and not trusting him in the slightest, before moving to take care of his tray and heading on to class.
That evening when Pierre called him, David knew he had to tell his boyfriend about this encounter, even though he didn’t want to. “I talked to Hunter today,” David told him before he had a chance to say anything of his own.
Pierre’s eyebrows pulled together in concern, feeling discomfort and jealousy rising in the pit of his stomach. “You talked to him?” he asked, unable to hide those feelings in his voice.
“He came up to talk to me at lunch again and I was ignoring him, and then one of his friends came up to tell him I was ‘that gay kid’ and he defended me and told his friend that we had dated for over a year,” David relayed the conversation he had witnessed, not wanting to get into the word for word details or how surprised he had been by Hunter’s admission to his friend.
Pierre felt his jealousy grow inside of him and he clenched his jaw, trying to keep the beast inside of him at bay, not wanting to lash out over stupid, immature feelings. “Yeah?” he asked, doing a bad job of hiding how much he disliked this.
David could hear it in Pierre’s voice but he pressed on, knowing he had to come clean about the conversation they’d had. “He acted like it was nothing to tell his friend that we’d dated, it really threw me off guard,” he said honestly. “And he used that as his opportunity to sit down and talk to me. He apologized for the way he treated me and said he knew he was shitty and put me through a lot,” David paraphrased, though he had been so tense that he didn’t think he could have relayed Hunter’s exact words to him even if he’d wanted to.
Pierre grabbed a fistful of his blanket and tried his best to stay calm, though he wanted to rage that David shouldn’t have talked to him and to demand he never talk to his ex ever again. He knew, however, that he couldn’t do that. Instead, he just sat in dead silence, fearing what would come out of his mouth if he opened it now.
“He said me breaking up with him opened his eyes to how shitty he’d been and he regretted it and has worked hard to be a better person,” David continued, though as he spoke his voice sounded as if he wasn’t sure if he could believe it and distrusted the other boy’s words.
“A better person would have left you alone the first time you told him to,” Pierre snapped suddenly, unable to stop the words as they flew from his mouth.
David took a quick breath in and stopped moving, feeling stunned by the way Pierre had just snapped at him. Still, he understood what the other boy must have been thinking and feeling and he decided to push past it, letting out a shaky breath. “I agree… and I said pretty much the same thing to him,” he replied, his voice softer now than it had been before.
Pierre felt shame pick at his insides and released his grip on his blanket, telling himself he needed to calm down before he said some things that were unnecessary and that he would regret. He could trust David, after all, he was certain of that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
“He said he knew about you and wasn’t trying to get in the way of our relationship,” David continued, the skepticism picking up in his voice again. “He said he just wants to be friends, ‘from one gay kid to another’. I don’t know if I believe him,” he finished, his uncertainty clear in his words.
Pierre took a deep breath, wanting to yell at David that he absolutely should not believe him and that he should not, under any circumstances, give Hunter a chance to be his friend, but again he knew he couldn’t do that. If their relationship was going to work he couldn’t control David and he had to trust him fully. Still, he wanted nothing more than to hear his boyfriend say that this conversation hadn’t changed his mind and that he would continue to ignore his ex-boyfriend. Somehow, however, he got the feeling that David was not going to say those words to him. “So what are you gonna do?” Pierre asked, his voice hard in his attempt to control the feelings behind it.
“I told him we weren’t friends but that I’d be civil, and that I don’t trust him,” David responded, his voice tense.
Though it wasn’t what Pierre had wanted to hear, he did feel a little comforted that David hadn’t forgiven the other boy and told him they could be friends. He also enjoyed that David had told Hunter he didn’t trust him, glad that his boyfriend was being upfront and brutal about his feelings, rather than worrying about hurting his ex’s feelings.
When Pierre didn’t respond, David got a little nervous. “Is that okay?” he asked, his voice barely coming out above a whisper at the sudden fear that Pierre was going to lash out at him out of jealousy.
Pierre took a deep breath and sighed it out slowly, closing his eyes and willing himself to be okay with it. “I trust you, David,” he said, though his voice was still tense and low.
David chewed on his bottom lip, knowing that Pierre was jealous and trying to hide it. “The way I see it is maybe I’ll actually get some peace this way,” he said quietly. “The rest of lunch he just sat there doing his own thing and he didn’t bug me at all. If being civil to him stops him from bugging me all the time, maybe it’ll be worth it.”
Pierre brought a hand up to his face and rubbed it up and down slowly, wanting to shout that getting the kid to shut up wasn’t a good enough reason to accept his presence, but knowing again that he couldn’t say it. “Maybe,” he said stiffly.
“And maybe he really is sorry and he really has changed,” David continued, sounding hopeful in a way that Pierre definitely didn’t like. “I got so used to being around you that now… I’m tired of being alone all the time,” he breathed out sadly.
Pierre sighed again, his eyes still closed, his hand still covering his face. What was he supposed to say to that? How was he supposed to tell David that he was wrong for feeling that way? Again, he said nothing, too lost in the frustrated agony he was experiencing and afraid of saying the wrong thing.
“I promise you can trust me,” David told him suddenly.
Pierre opened his eyes and sighed again, feeling guilty over how jealous he was. “I know,” he said, his voice softening now. “I just don’t trust him.”
“And neither do I,” David reminded him again. “But maybe he’ll prove it somehow that he really is sorry and he really does just want to be friends. It’d be nice to have at least one of those before I graduate.”
Again, guilt over his boyfriend’s words tore at his insides and he knew he couldn’t say anything. The conversation ended much more quickly between them than usual, Pierre making an excuse to go so that he could be alone with his thoughts and feelings and soon they were saying goodnight. Once he had ended the call he sat still in his bed, staring out across his room without taking anything in, feeling his anger and jealousy mounting inside of him to a point that he almost couldn’t control it. What the hell was David thinking, giving Hunter a chance to hurt him again? It wasn’t that he feared David would cheat on him, but he also couldn’t deny how much it hurt to think of his boyfriend opening himself up to his ex-boyfriend. He wanted to be the only one David cared about, to be the one he talked to and confided in. He knew it wouldn’t have bothered him if David had made friends with another guy, even if it had been another gay guy, but to open the door to someone that he had previously been romantic and sexual with? Pierre felt like it was going to tear him apart.
Then, before he could stop himself, he was sitting at his desk and getting on his laptop, opening social media and trying to find Hunter. He needed to know who he was and what he looked like more desperately than he could explain. He found the high school’s page and went to the list of people who were a part of the group, typing in the name Hunter. A sick sense of anger tore through him when only one result came up, a Hunter Jackson. Suddenly he was glad David’s ex didn’t have a more common name like Chad or Adam which would have definitely pulled up multiple results. He clicked on the page he found and though he couldn’t know it for sure, he was certain this was the Hunter he had been looking for. And what he saw did not comfort him.
The boy he was looking at was handsome and charming looking. He looked tall and strong, though Pierre thought vindictively that he didn’t seem as tall or nearly as strong as he himself was. He clicked through his pictures, glad his profile was public, and only felt more jealous and sick the more he looked. This kid dressed like a guy in the bands David liked - black skinny jeans, band shirts, checkered vans, black hoodies, jean jackets with the sleeves ripped off and patches on the back. He had big gauges in his ears and multiple piercings in each ear, and in most pictures he had chipped black nail polish on his fingers. There were pictures of him playing the electric guitar and the bass guitar, pictures of him with a guitar slung across him while he sang into a microphone with a band behind him, and even pictures of him playing the cello or skateboarding. If it wasn’t for the fact that Pierre was dating David, and if it wasn’t for all that David had told Pierre about Hunter, on paper, just looking at his pictures, he would think that this kid was a perfect match for his boyfriend.
He closed the browser and shut his laptop, only feeling worse. He had felt that he had to know who Hunter was, and now that he saw him he felt sick to his stomach. It seemed that Hunter and David would have had more in common than he ever did with his boyfriend, like he was the kind of guy David would have dreamed to have if he hadn’t started dating him. He had to remind himself of the horrible relationship David and Hunter had shared and that he trusted David, though it was with a sense of shame that he realized there was part of him that was still scared David would leave him for his ex-boyfriend or he wouldn't have been so worried.
He shook his head at himself and tried to force himself to begin his homework, though he struggled through the task and that sick feeling of jealousy kept popping back up out of nowhere on him. It was late before he had managed to make it through his work, and he hoped that he had done a good enough job. He realized that Jay was in the room and sleeping, having been so consumed in his own world that his roommate had come back and Pierre hadn’t even noticed. I have to keep it together, he told himself firmly as he changed into pajama pants and got into his bed for the night. I’m only gonna push David away if I’m a jealous asshole. And with that final thought he laid down to sleep, though it took him a long time and his sleep was restless and he had unpleasant dreams. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through this unexpected relationship hurdle but he knew he didn’t have a choice; David was not his to control and attempting to do so would only drive them apart.
Author: shmorgenheigen
Chapter: Eight
Rating: R
Pairing: Pierre/David
Word Count: 5174
Summary: The continuation of the story Behind the Net, picking up right where the original story left off. David and Pierre explore their new relationship while navigating a long distance relationship. While Pierre is in Anchorage in his first year of college and playing college hockey, David is stuck back in Juneau to finish his senior year of high school. When an unlikely person from David’s past shows up and forces their way back into David’s life, things take a turn for the dramatic. Will David and Pierre be able to maintain their love for each other while separated and stave off those pesky feelings of loneliness, jealousy, and depression?
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: When I started to re-write Behind the Net from Pierre’s perspective, I started to think about how much story there would be to tell when Pierre went off to college, leaving David alone in Juneau. I became obsessed with the idea of writing the next chapter in their story and now that it’s finished, I am absolutely in love with how it turned out and the original characters I added into the story! If anyone reads this, leave me a comment and let me know!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Over the next two weeks Hunter continued to try to talk to David with no success. David had taken to glaring at the other boy without saying a word, though there were a few times that Hunter had persisted and tried to sit down with him, and in those times David had stood and took his lunch tray with him, throwing away whatever was uneaten and heading toward his next class. He didn’t understand why the other boy was being so persistent. It had been almost two years since they had broken up, why couldn’t he just let it go all of a sudden? He had moved past any fear of the other boy, surrounded as they always were by other people, and had moved into pure hatred and anger. It was frustrating beyond belief, and David was starting to lose his patience.
Every day when he spoke to Pierre, before Pierre began to talk about his own day he would ask, “Did he bother you today?” his voice forceful and serious as if he didn’t trust that David would tell him if he didn’t ask. Of course, Pierre knew him all too well; David absolutely wouldn't have bothered saying anything if his boyfriend didn’t demand an answer. He felt there was nothing to tell, because really all that was happening was Hunter would approach him at lunch, say his name, ask him to talk to him, and David would glare at him until he went away, or if he didn’t go away David would remove himself from the situation. Each day it was no different than the last and he got tired of talking to him about it.
He had even tried sitting in the library during lunch one day but Hunter had walked by and found him to his absolute irritation. “Just leave me alone!” David had yelled at him, earning shushes and glares from all around him as he did. He had stormed out of the library and gone to get himself lunch, figuring if the other boy was going to bug him anyway he might as well actually eat something, though Hunter hadn’t followed him after being yelled at and David was grateful to eat his lunch in peace that day.
It was the last day of September when Hunter came up to him again despite the fact that he had sat at a different table in a different part of the cafeteria. David just kept his eyes on his sketchbook, refusing to look up, but the more Hunter stood there the more his lines began to get jagged and dark on the page.
“Will you just give me a chance?” Hunter asked, sounding frustrated and a little desperate. David refused to look up, though he had positively ruined the drawing he had been working on in his irritation and he stared at the page with a sour expression on his features. “Come on, David, I just want to be friends,” he continued, the frustration at his attempts being ignored clear in his voice.
At this David snapped and he stood, his hands finding the table in front of him. “We were never friends!” he yelled, before beginning to grab his bag and his lunch tray to leave.
“Stop! I’ll go!” Hunter told him suddenly, surprising David a little who looked back at him with an angry look of apprehension. “Just… eat your lunch, please. I’m tired of watching you throw it away.” And with that he sighed and turned around, walking away and finding a group of his friends. David glared after him but sat slowly, pulling his lunch tray back to himself as he watched the other boy with distrust.
That evening when he talked to Pierre, he could tell that his boyfriend had reached his limit on this situation.
“I’m seriously gonna come kick his ass!” Pierre exclaimed, his chest burning with anger and frustration and his inability to do anything to stop what was happening to his boyfriend. “I’m gonna get on a plane, I’m gonna go to school with you tomorrow, and I’m gonna kick the shit out of him!”
David sighed, wishing Pierre would just stop asking about Hunter so they could go back to having pleasant conversations about how hockey practice was going or the new friends he had made. “You can’t do that,” he reasoned, his voice cold with exasperation. “Hunter’s seventeen, you’re eighteen. If you get in a fight with him, you as a legal adult will get in trouble for fighting a legal minor. He’s not worth your future, and frankly, I’m tired of talking about him!”
Pierre was silent at the way David had just snapped at him. The two hadn’t argued since their temporary breakup the previous March and the sound of his boyfriend’s frustration toward him made him nervous. Rather than rising to David’s anger and reciprocating it, he kept his voice calm and tried to de-escalate the situation. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m just worried about you and I’m going crazy being here and not being able to help.”
David immediately felt guilt tear at him and he sighed again, this time sadly. “No, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m just so frustrated with him, and I miss talking to you about happy things.”
Pierre was silent for a moment, wanting to say something but not knowing what. “I miss you,” he settled on, laying back against his pillow and looking up at the ceiling.
“I miss you too,” David breathed back, suddenly feeling the overwhelming urge to cry but holding it in, not wanting to make Pierre feel even worse than he already had. “You have your first game soon, right?” he asked, wanting to shift the mood to something that would feel normal.
“Yeah,” Pierre responded sadly, though he was actually really excited about it. “I wish you could come,” he continued, his heart heavy in his chest.
“Me too,” David replied, sounding just as sad. He had gone from snapping at his boyfriend to making him sad; what a great boyfriend he was. “I’ll get to see a game soon though, I’m sure,” he tried.
“Will you let me fly you out to see one sometime next month?” Pierre asked hopefully.
“I wish I could, but I have to focus on school and so do you. A weekend’s just not long enough. But I’m still coming to see you for Thanksgiving break, right?” he replied, hating telling his boyfriend no, wishing more than anything that he could fly out to see Pierre every weekend but knowing it just wasn’t feasible.
“Yeah,” Pierre sighed again, hating that it would be another eight weeks before he would see his boyfriend. He had optimistically thought he would be able to fly David out every few weeks to see him, but David was right, with both of their school loads (especially Pierre’s), they just couldn’t manage it. Pierre had to stay incredibly on top of himself in order to keep up with his full credit load, plus hockey, plus a strict training and workout regimen. He was training more intensely than he ever had before and he honestly couldn’t wait for David to see him again and to see the transformation his body had already made in the short time they’d been apart. He knew another eight weeks and he’d be cut and muscular in a way David hadn’t seen of him before. “That’s just so far away.”
“I know, but if we’re gonna make it through this we have to stay on top of our grades, and I really have to build up my portfolio if I want to get accepted into a fashion program. I’ve always ignored women’s clothes but if I’m gonna get in anywhere I have to catch up. I’ve been making dresses and skirts and all sorts of women’s clothes but I have no one to model them on and I don’t have a dress form so I’ve been having to try them on myself,” he explained, shaking his head at himself.
A smile broke across Pierre’s lips and he laughed lightly, trying to imagine David wearing a dress. “I’m sure you look beautiful,” he teased gently.
“Shut up!” David said back with a laugh. “They don’t look right on me but I don’t have another choice.”
“Well maybe Santa will come up with some solution for you for Christmas,” Pierre responded cryptically.
“Are you Santa?” David asked with a note of skepticism in his voice.
“Would you like to sit on my lap, young man?” Pierre asked, throwing on an old man voice as he did.
“Eeeewww,” David retorted, laughing again.
They both laughed for a minute, feeling light and airy for the first time together in a little while. When the laughter died down, Pierre sighed quietly before saying, “I really miss you.”
David smiled a little and replied, “I really miss you too.” A devilish thought crossed his mind and he bit his lip. “Do you think about me when you’re all alone?” he asked seductively.
“Of course I do,” Pierre responded, his tone shifting to match his boyfriend’s. “I literally hear you saying you want me insi-”
“Sshhh!! Stop!” David interrupted him frantically, his face flushing bright red in embarrassment.
Pierre laughed and shook his head slowly. “I can’t,” he told him honestly. “It’s on repeat in my head.”
“Just forget I said that,” David pleaded, covering his face with a hand.
“I will literally never forget that you said that as long as I live,” Pierre told him with a stubborn grin. He heard David whine in response and could imagine how beet red his face was. “That was the single greatest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“I just wanted it so bad,” David whined again, still covering his face.
“And it was fucking awesome,” Pierre told him with a grin. “You have no idea how much willpower it took to hold myself back.”
David sighed and laid back on his bed. “How long until Thanksgiving?”
“Eight weeks,” Pierre responded. “Eight loooong weeks.”
“I might die by then,” David told him dramatically.
“You better not,” Pierre said seriously. “I’m taking you. Eight weeks from now, you’re mine.”
David felt his body heat up and he bit his bottom lip. “You’d better,” he replied simply, though he felt embarrassment well up inside of him at his own words and how open he was being about what he wanted Pierre to do to him.
Before long the conversation dwindled to its end and the two were saying goodnight. David laid in his bed staring up at his ceiling, his cheeks pink at the plans they had just concretely made. Thanksgiving break. They would be having sex for the first time when David went to see Pierre over Thanksgiving break. They had openly discussed it and had agreed to it verbally, both of them. It was actually going to happen.
Pierre laid in his bed having the same revelation, realizing the way they had just both said what they wanted and agreed they would be doing it. Though it had been through banter and though they had been flirting, there was no denying that they had just agreed they were going to have sex when David came to see him in November. Pierre’s mind was racing when Jay came back into the room and he didn’t say anything to him, too consumed with his own thoughts to be pulled away from them.
The following Monday at school, it was with great irritation that David became aware of Hunter standing in front of him yet again. He looked up at him, glaring hard. “Seriously, will you just give it a rest?” David asked bluntly, his frustration clear in his voice.
“Will you just give me a chance to talk to you?” Hunter retorted, his voice filled with just as much frustration.
David glared at him for a second longer before looking back down to his sketchbook and continuing on the design he was working on, refusing to give the boy another word. He would just ignore him until he gave up and walked away.
Then another boy walked up to the table, giving David a furtive glance before putting a hand on Hunter’s elbow to grab his attention. David looked up at him, allowing the unfriendly look to drop from his features and just looking at the other boy with mild curiosity. He had seen Hunter talking to this boy several times before and had gotten the feeling that they were close friends, though he couldn’t say for sure.
“Dude, got a minute?” the boy asked, glancing back at David again in a nervous, uncomfortable fashion.
Hunter allowed himself to be pulled a few feet away and as he did David heard the other boy’s voice very clearly say, “Dude, you know that’s that gay kid right?”
David sighed and looked back down at his sketchpad. Clearly this kid was trying to save Hunter from apparent social suicide.
“Well it’d be weird if I didn’t considering I dated him for over a year,” Hunter’s voice came back loud and strong. David’s eyes shot open wide and he sat up straight, unable to keep himself from snapping his head in their direction again.
“Dude, what?” his friend said back, his hushed tone forgotten in his genuine surprise.
“Don’t worry about it. Hey, tell Noah to bring his distortion pedal to practice today, mine busted,” he responded cooly, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on his friend out of the blue. Then he turned and walked back to David, who was staring at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. “What?”
“Why did you do that?!” David whispered at him, for the moment his irritation forgotten entirely.
“It’s not a big deal,” Hunter responded, as if the answer was really that simple. “People need to calm the fuck down about who’s gay and who’s not. It’s stupid and it really doesn’t matter.”
David stared at him, his mouth still hanging open, completely floored by the change in the other boy’s attitude on this topic. “What if he stops talking to you?” he asked, his voice still in a whisper in his shock.
“Nah, he’ll be fine,” he replied dismissively, before taking his opportunity and sitting down next to David at the table. “Now will you please just listen to what I have to say?” he asked, and immediately David’s defenses went back up and he leaned away from the other boy. “David please, I just want to be friends,” he said again.
David shook his head and looked away, his face cold as he responded, “We were never friends.”
“And I was a shit head to you and I’m sorry,” Hunter responded, and though his words were kind his voice was still defensive and frustrated sounding.
David furrowed his brow but kept his face turned away. “Why should I believe you?” he asked, his voice heavy with distrust.
“I guess you really don’t have to, but it’d be nice if you did,” Hunter replied, his voice still sounding forceful in spite of his words. “Look, when you broke up with me it opened my eyes to how shitty I’d been. I’m sorry that’s what it took for me to see it, but it did. I’ve grown a lot in the last two years and I’d really like it if you gave me a chance to prove it to you.”
David looked back at Hunter suddenly, his hazel eyes alive with anger and indignation. “I don’t know how much you’ve grown, you clearly still don’t know how to take no for an answer,” he snapped coldly.
His words seemed to humble Hunter a little and the defensive look fell from his face. “I’m really sorry about what I did to you. And I’m sorry about everything I put you through, and all of my mental bullshit I put on you. Everything about our relationship I handled wrong, and I’ve spent the last two years regretting it and trying to change for the better because of it.”
David felt the cold glare soften on his face and he stared blankly at the other boy, searching his eyes for any sign that he was lying but not seeing it. “Why do you care so much if I talk to you?” he asked, distrust still evident in his voice.
“Just because we broke up, it doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you,” Hunter told him quietly. “And before you say it, I know you have a boyfriend. I know about your hockey player, I’m not trying to get in the way of that. I’m legitimately just trying to be your friend,” he added, defensiveness tingeing his words again.
“How do you know about that?” David asked, not able to think of anything else to say in the moment.
“You’re joking right?” Hunter asked bluntly. “Everyone knows about that. We all saw the picture, David.” David blushed a little and looked away again. “From one gay kid to another, there aren’t exactly a lot of us around, ya know? It’d be nice to be able to call you a friend.”
David sighed with irritation and looked back at Hunter, hating that he was feeling his resolve cracking. “I’m not saying we’re going to be friends,” he said, holding finger up with a stern look on his face. “But I’ll agree to be civil.” Hunter smiled and leaned back a little, seeming to relax a bit at David’s answer. “But that doesn’t mean I trust you!” he added quickly.
Hunter held up both hands and leaned a little further back. “Totally fair,” he responded quickly.
David held his gaze of distrust for a moment longer before moving his attention back to the design he was working on. They sat for the rest of the lunch period in silence, and though David didn’t speak another word to Hunter or look his way even one more time, Hunter stayed at the table with him, pulling out a notebook and scribbling in it in silence. When the end of lunch bell sounded, David stood and grabbed his tray, his eyes following Hunter with wariness as the other boy stood and gave him a nod, giving a quiet, “See ya.” David glared after him, watching him walk away and not trusting him in the slightest, before moving to take care of his tray and heading on to class.
That evening when Pierre called him, David knew he had to tell his boyfriend about this encounter, even though he didn’t want to. “I talked to Hunter today,” David told him before he had a chance to say anything of his own.
Pierre’s eyebrows pulled together in concern, feeling discomfort and jealousy rising in the pit of his stomach. “You talked to him?” he asked, unable to hide those feelings in his voice.
“He came up to talk to me at lunch again and I was ignoring him, and then one of his friends came up to tell him I was ‘that gay kid’ and he defended me and told his friend that we had dated for over a year,” David relayed the conversation he had witnessed, not wanting to get into the word for word details or how surprised he had been by Hunter’s admission to his friend.
Pierre felt his jealousy grow inside of him and he clenched his jaw, trying to keep the beast inside of him at bay, not wanting to lash out over stupid, immature feelings. “Yeah?” he asked, doing a bad job of hiding how much he disliked this.
David could hear it in Pierre’s voice but he pressed on, knowing he had to come clean about the conversation they’d had. “He acted like it was nothing to tell his friend that we’d dated, it really threw me off guard,” he said honestly. “And he used that as his opportunity to sit down and talk to me. He apologized for the way he treated me and said he knew he was shitty and put me through a lot,” David paraphrased, though he had been so tense that he didn’t think he could have relayed Hunter’s exact words to him even if he’d wanted to.
Pierre grabbed a fistful of his blanket and tried his best to stay calm, though he wanted to rage that David shouldn’t have talked to him and to demand he never talk to his ex ever again. He knew, however, that he couldn’t do that. Instead, he just sat in dead silence, fearing what would come out of his mouth if he opened it now.
“He said me breaking up with him opened his eyes to how shitty he’d been and he regretted it and has worked hard to be a better person,” David continued, though as he spoke his voice sounded as if he wasn’t sure if he could believe it and distrusted the other boy’s words.
“A better person would have left you alone the first time you told him to,” Pierre snapped suddenly, unable to stop the words as they flew from his mouth.
David took a quick breath in and stopped moving, feeling stunned by the way Pierre had just snapped at him. Still, he understood what the other boy must have been thinking and feeling and he decided to push past it, letting out a shaky breath. “I agree… and I said pretty much the same thing to him,” he replied, his voice softer now than it had been before.
Pierre felt shame pick at his insides and released his grip on his blanket, telling himself he needed to calm down before he said some things that were unnecessary and that he would regret. He could trust David, after all, he was certain of that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
“He said he knew about you and wasn’t trying to get in the way of our relationship,” David continued, the skepticism picking up in his voice again. “He said he just wants to be friends, ‘from one gay kid to another’. I don’t know if I believe him,” he finished, his uncertainty clear in his words.
Pierre took a deep breath, wanting to yell at David that he absolutely should not believe him and that he should not, under any circumstances, give Hunter a chance to be his friend, but again he knew he couldn’t do that. If their relationship was going to work he couldn’t control David and he had to trust him fully. Still, he wanted nothing more than to hear his boyfriend say that this conversation hadn’t changed his mind and that he would continue to ignore his ex-boyfriend. Somehow, however, he got the feeling that David was not going to say those words to him. “So what are you gonna do?” Pierre asked, his voice hard in his attempt to control the feelings behind it.
“I told him we weren’t friends but that I’d be civil, and that I don’t trust him,” David responded, his voice tense.
Though it wasn’t what Pierre had wanted to hear, he did feel a little comforted that David hadn’t forgiven the other boy and told him they could be friends. He also enjoyed that David had told Hunter he didn’t trust him, glad that his boyfriend was being upfront and brutal about his feelings, rather than worrying about hurting his ex’s feelings.
When Pierre didn’t respond, David got a little nervous. “Is that okay?” he asked, his voice barely coming out above a whisper at the sudden fear that Pierre was going to lash out at him out of jealousy.
Pierre took a deep breath and sighed it out slowly, closing his eyes and willing himself to be okay with it. “I trust you, David,” he said, though his voice was still tense and low.
David chewed on his bottom lip, knowing that Pierre was jealous and trying to hide it. “The way I see it is maybe I’ll actually get some peace this way,” he said quietly. “The rest of lunch he just sat there doing his own thing and he didn’t bug me at all. If being civil to him stops him from bugging me all the time, maybe it’ll be worth it.”
Pierre brought a hand up to his face and rubbed it up and down slowly, wanting to shout that getting the kid to shut up wasn’t a good enough reason to accept his presence, but knowing again that he couldn’t say it. “Maybe,” he said stiffly.
“And maybe he really is sorry and he really has changed,” David continued, sounding hopeful in a way that Pierre definitely didn’t like. “I got so used to being around you that now… I’m tired of being alone all the time,” he breathed out sadly.
Pierre sighed again, his eyes still closed, his hand still covering his face. What was he supposed to say to that? How was he supposed to tell David that he was wrong for feeling that way? Again, he said nothing, too lost in the frustrated agony he was experiencing and afraid of saying the wrong thing.
“I promise you can trust me,” David told him suddenly.
Pierre opened his eyes and sighed again, feeling guilty over how jealous he was. “I know,” he said, his voice softening now. “I just don’t trust him.”
“And neither do I,” David reminded him again. “But maybe he’ll prove it somehow that he really is sorry and he really does just want to be friends. It’d be nice to have at least one of those before I graduate.”
Again, guilt over his boyfriend’s words tore at his insides and he knew he couldn’t say anything. The conversation ended much more quickly between them than usual, Pierre making an excuse to go so that he could be alone with his thoughts and feelings and soon they were saying goodnight. Once he had ended the call he sat still in his bed, staring out across his room without taking anything in, feeling his anger and jealousy mounting inside of him to a point that he almost couldn’t control it. What the hell was David thinking, giving Hunter a chance to hurt him again? It wasn’t that he feared David would cheat on him, but he also couldn’t deny how much it hurt to think of his boyfriend opening himself up to his ex-boyfriend. He wanted to be the only one David cared about, to be the one he talked to and confided in. He knew it wouldn’t have bothered him if David had made friends with another guy, even if it had been another gay guy, but to open the door to someone that he had previously been romantic and sexual with? Pierre felt like it was going to tear him apart.
Then, before he could stop himself, he was sitting at his desk and getting on his laptop, opening social media and trying to find Hunter. He needed to know who he was and what he looked like more desperately than he could explain. He found the high school’s page and went to the list of people who were a part of the group, typing in the name Hunter. A sick sense of anger tore through him when only one result came up, a Hunter Jackson. Suddenly he was glad David’s ex didn’t have a more common name like Chad or Adam which would have definitely pulled up multiple results. He clicked on the page he found and though he couldn’t know it for sure, he was certain this was the Hunter he had been looking for. And what he saw did not comfort him.
The boy he was looking at was handsome and charming looking. He looked tall and strong, though Pierre thought vindictively that he didn’t seem as tall or nearly as strong as he himself was. He clicked through his pictures, glad his profile was public, and only felt more jealous and sick the more he looked. This kid dressed like a guy in the bands David liked - black skinny jeans, band shirts, checkered vans, black hoodies, jean jackets with the sleeves ripped off and patches on the back. He had big gauges in his ears and multiple piercings in each ear, and in most pictures he had chipped black nail polish on his fingers. There were pictures of him playing the electric guitar and the bass guitar, pictures of him with a guitar slung across him while he sang into a microphone with a band behind him, and even pictures of him playing the cello or skateboarding. If it wasn’t for the fact that Pierre was dating David, and if it wasn’t for all that David had told Pierre about Hunter, on paper, just looking at his pictures, he would think that this kid was a perfect match for his boyfriend.
He closed the browser and shut his laptop, only feeling worse. He had felt that he had to know who Hunter was, and now that he saw him he felt sick to his stomach. It seemed that Hunter and David would have had more in common than he ever did with his boyfriend, like he was the kind of guy David would have dreamed to have if he hadn’t started dating him. He had to remind himself of the horrible relationship David and Hunter had shared and that he trusted David, though it was with a sense of shame that he realized there was part of him that was still scared David would leave him for his ex-boyfriend or he wouldn't have been so worried.
He shook his head at himself and tried to force himself to begin his homework, though he struggled through the task and that sick feeling of jealousy kept popping back up out of nowhere on him. It was late before he had managed to make it through his work, and he hoped that he had done a good enough job. He realized that Jay was in the room and sleeping, having been so consumed in his own world that his roommate had come back and Pierre hadn’t even noticed. I have to keep it together, he told himself firmly as he changed into pajama pants and got into his bed for the night. I’m only gonna push David away if I’m a jealous asshole. And with that final thought he laid down to sleep, though it took him a long time and his sleep was restless and he had unpleasant dreams. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through this unexpected relationship hurdle but he knew he didn’t have a choice; David was not his to control and attempting to do so would only drive them apart.