Behind the Net: Across the Distance (A Sequel) - Chapter 6
Title: Behind the Net: Across the Distance (A Sequel)
Author: shmorgenheigen
Chapter: Six
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Pierre/David
Word Count: 8616
Summary: The continuation of the story Behind the Net, picking up right where the original story left off. David and Pierre explore their new relationship while navigating a long distance relationship. While Pierre is in Anchorage in his first year of college and playing college hockey, David is stuck back in Juneau to finish his senior year of high school. When an unlikely person from David’s past shows up and forces their way back into David’s life, things take a turn for the dramatic. Will David and Pierre be able to maintain their love for each other while separated and stave off those pesky feelings of loneliness, jealousy, and depression?
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: When I started to re-write Behind the Net from Pierre’s perspective, I started to think about how much story there would be to tell when Pierre went off to college, leaving David alone in Juneau. I became obsessed with the idea of writing the next chapter in their story and now that it’s finished, I am absolutely in love with how it turned out and the original characters I added into the story! If anyone reads this, leave me a comment and let me know!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Pierre stood in his bedroom, boxes surrounding his feet on the floor, one labeled “TAKE”, one labeled “STORE”, one labeled “DONATE”, and one labeled “TRASH”. Though he had already filled two boxes labeled for donation and one for trash, he only planned on allowing himself to fill one “take” box. Anything he took would either have to come with him in a suitcase on the plane, or else be shipped to him and he honestly didn’t feel that there were any of his belongings that he wouldn’t be able to live without in Anchorage aside from his clothes and toiletries. Looking around his room at the things on his shelves, he suddenly didn’t feel that any of it mattered.
He began to grab trophies off of a big, black shelf in the corner of his room and throw them into the trash box. David registered what he was throwing away and his eyebrows pulled together in a mixture of confusion and concern. “Why are you getting rid of those?” he asked as he reached into the box and pulled out the trophies Pierre had already tossed in there.
“They just take up space,” Pierre responded nonchalantly as he held two more in his hands, poised to throw them away.
“Yeah but… they mean something,” David replied with uncertainty.
Pierre fixed David with a slightly skeptical look, shrugging his shoulders again and shaking his head a little as he did. “I mean… not really. It’s just a bunch of plastic.”
“It’s memories,” David reasoned slowly. “You earned these. They represent years of hard work and dedication, and without it you wouldn’t be where you are now.”
Pierre smiled with amusement, unsure where this sudden sentimental streak in his boyfriend was coming from. “What am I gonna do, display all my elementary and middle and high school trophies on a shelf in my dorm? Or in an apartment when I’m older? Or a house?” he asked, feeling that the idea was just silly.
“No, not necessarily, but I still think you should keep them, even if it’s just in a box in the attic that you don’t ever look at. Something about throwing them all away just feels wrong,” David retorted quietly.
Pierre gave a soft laugh and shook his head slowly at the younger boy. “I can see you’re gonna be the sentimental type that keeps every drawing and loose tooth if we ever end up with kids,” he joked, his voice soft and loving.
David grimaced outside of his control at that, a look of pure disgust crossing his features. “Ew, I would not keep teeth,” he said firmly, earning more laughter from the other boy. “Look, I just think if you throw them away right now someday you might wish you hadn’t, that’s all,” he added, his tone shifting back to serious.
Pierre gave a quiet sigh of defeat, the smile never leaving his lips. “If you really think it’s that important, I guess I can hold on to them,” he gave in, amusement still painting his words. “But I’m getting rid of the sports I don’t care about. I’m not keeping t-ball trophies from when I was four, or the one random soccer trophy from when I was six,” he added quickly. “I’m just keeping the hockey ones.”
David wanted to protest that it was all important and all led him to who he was now, but he relinquished with a nod. “Okay fine,” he said, before carefully placing the two trophies he held in a storage box. He walked over to the shelf, standing next to Pierre, and his eyes immediately went to team pictures. “But no getting rid of pictures,” he demanded, and as he did he picked up a picture of Pierre as a tiny boy with a baseball helmet on and holding a plastic bat.
“What? Why?” Pierre asked, looking confused again.
“Because look at how freaking cute you were!” David reasoned, turning the picture to shove it toward the taller boy. Pierre rolled his eyes and shook his head and without a word went back to pulling trophies off of the shelf. David looked back at the picture and smiled. This was from a time when he hadn’t met the other boy yet, when he had been three and Pierre had been four. He felt overwhelmed with the oddest feeling of giddy joy as he looked at the picture and the little boy in it with his cute squishy cheeks and his huge brown eyes and his missing bottom front tooth. It was almost too much to bear.
With a soft smile, he began to pull any pictures off of the shelf, regarding them all with equal interest as he did. It was interesting to watch Pierre grow through these pictures, to see him get taller, less squishy, transitioning from tot to little boy, from little boy to boy, from boy to preteen, and from preteen to teen. There were several different sports represented within the first few years of his life as he tried out different things from t-ball to soccer to basketball and even football, but by the time he was in his late elementary school years the only sport left was hockey. His hockey pictures had started when he was six and continued year after year, ending with his senior year in high school. As David regarded that particular photo, it felt strange to see himself in it. What an odd year it had been.
David stacked the photos neatly and moved to put them in the storage box, feeling certain that even if Pierre didn't see the merit in keeping them now, he would feel differently about it later in life. He made sure to pack the hockey trophies carefully as well, shoving large bits of packing paper all around and in between them to keep them from getting jumbled up and breaking in the box even if twenty years went by without it being opened. He truly felt these memories were worth preserving, and that Pierre would someday enjoy looking at them again.
It didn’t take long before anything unnecessary for Pierre’s life over the next two weeks was categorized into one of the four boxes, though given that Pierre really only planned on bringing clothes and the most basic necessities with him to Anchorage, the take box was rather empty. Still, David went through Pierre’s closet and pulled out the items that he thought the other boy might end up needing while he was away at college but definitely wouldn’t be needing in the next two weeks, like his nicer button up shirts and pants, even a suit jacket and a couple of ties. As he had pulled those articles from the closet he had regarded them all carefully, trying to imagine what Pierre would look like all dressed up. He had never seen it before and found it difficult to picture, though he imagined that the other boy would look gorgeous beyond his wildest dreams. He hoped at some point he had an excuse to see him in his best clothes.
He also pulled out the autumn and winter clothes that Pierre wouldn’t need until a few weeks after getting moved into his dorm, like flannel shirts, sweaters and jackets. He held a dark green flannel shirt in his hands, able to recall the times in class he had seen Pierre wearing it, and though he had never stopped and paid any attention to what he was wearing in the times he had seen it, now he could recall the memory and truly appreciate how hot he found the other boy in them.
When he felt something being slung over his shoulders and arms, David perked up a little and looked down at himself, seeing that Pierre had thrown his red flannel over him from inside the closet. David smiled and tossed the shirt he had been holding into the take box before slipping his arms into the sleeves of the shirt Pierre had just put on him, feeling a little silly at the fact that only his fingertips peeked out of the bottom of the sleeves and that the hem of the shirt came well below his butt and several inches down his thighs. Where the shoulders were supposed to sit came several inches down his upper arms, his own shoulders being far less broad than his boyfriend’s. Pierre, tall and muscular, clearly wore much bigger shirts than he did with his small, slender frame.
Pierre grabbed gently at the shirt up near the collar and used it to pull David close to him, his voice low and seductive as he practically whispered against David’s lips, “You look cute as fuck in that.”
David felt his body heat up and his eyes closed at the feel of Pierre’s whispered words against his lips, reaching forward involuntarily to grab onto the older boy’s sides. When he felt Pierre pull him forward the rest of the way into a kiss, David felt his knees weaken and he gave a soft, “Mmm,” against the kiss.
Suddenly Pierre’s tongue was in his mouth, massaging against his own, drawing another soft moan from the back of David’s throat and causing him to dig his fingers harder into Pierre’s sides. They pulled apart slowly, Pierre pressing his forehead against David’s with his eyes closed and his breath coming in short, quick puffs. David felt need overwhelm him and he leaned forward quickly, bringing his lips back to Pierre’s in a passionate kiss and wrapping his arms up around the older boy’s neck. The feel of David’s body pressing against his own was all it took for all rational thought to leave his mind and Pierre grabbed hard onto David’s body, walking backward until his legs hit the edge of his bed. He sat down and pulled David to sit on top of him, his hands sliding down the younger boy’s body to the backs of his thighs and pulling him forward to straddle his lap.
David obliged and climbed happily on top of his boyfriend, his arms holding ever tightly around Pierre’s neck, unwilling to allow even an inch of distance between their bodies. Then, driven by some subconscious desire, he began to roll his hips, rubbing his ass firmly over Pierre’s lap. The sensation made Pierre’s eyes roll a little behind his closed eyelids and a moan escaped the back of his throat, swallowed by David’s mouth. He moved his hands to grab the other boy’s ass, pulling him down again harder. Images flooded his mind at the contact and suddenly he saw David on top of him naked, riding him with his hard dick completely inside of him, moaning and taking all of him as Pierre pounded into him. He broke the kiss and moved to David’s neck, kissing and biting him as he continued to use his hands to help the other boy rub against his ever tightening jeans.
David tilted his head to the side as Pierre kissed and bit him, a frenzied mix of the two, his mind buzzing and his groin aching at the way the other boy’s hands pulling his ass down onto him felt. Thoughts of Pierre inside of him took over his mind and suddenly he wanted it right then and there. He wanted their clothes to be gone, he wanted to be sitting on top of Pierre, and he wanted to feel his hardened length as deep inside of him as he could go. In that moment there was no other word for what he wanted Pierre to do to him, and for once he didn’t feel the least bit embarrassed by it: he wanted Pierre to fuck him with everything he had.
A noise from outside Pierre’s bedroom door pulled the two apart, eyes wide with immediate panic. Pierre realized suddenly that he hadn’t locked the door, having had no intention of anything sexual happening that afternoon. The two sat like that completely frozen for several seconds, staring at the door as if waiting for the horrifying moment that it would open, though that moment never came. The sound of the movement continued on, becoming softer until it disappeared entirely, and the two boys relaxed with heavy sighs. David hunched his shoulders forward and leaned his forehead against Pierre’s shoulder, feeling an odd mixture of relief and defeat, a pathetic whimper leaving his throat as he did.
“It was probably just the maid,” Pierre whispered, though disappointment tore through him and he knew they wouldn’t be continuing whatever they had just been about to start. That time more than any other time it had felt like they were about to have sex for the first time. Though he was beyond disappointed that they had been interrupted, there was part of him that wanted it to be more special than just a random afternoon in his bedroom at his parents’ mansion, driven out of desire instead of love. Still, it had really felt like it was about to happen without ever even discussing it. Did this mean that David was ready? He couldn’t help but think it did.
David continued to sit atop Pierre for several minutes, feeling more certain than ever before that if they hadn’t been interrupted, they would have just ended up having sex. The way he had pictured it so clearly in his mind as if it was happening and had wanted it with every fiber of his being stuck out to him now. He hadn’t imagined it soft or sweet or loving; he had imagined it hard and fast and dirty. Even though that wasn’t what he had thought it would be when he had pictured it before, he suddenly now wanted it more than anything else on the planet. He wanted Pierre to be rough with him, to grab him and to take him and to make him his. The sudden realization felt shocking but he found he didn’t care - he wanted it more than he could explain.
“I hate everything,” David whined into Pierre’s shoulder, earning soft laughter from the other boy. Pierre placed his hands tenderly on his boyfriend’s back, rubbing him gently a few times before snaking his arms up and embracing him in a tight, loving hug. David allowed the feel of it to lull him back down to reality and he sighed heavily, his disappointment welling up inside of himself.
“Surely not everything,” Pierre said softly, an amused smile on his lips.
“Everything but you,” David muttered darkly; Pierre only laughed again at this. With another deep sigh David forced himself to stand, his entire body aching in a way he’d never quite experienced before. Having to go back to acting normally after having gotten so carried away felt awful, and it almost made him a little nauseous. Still, he knew they had gotten ahead of themselves and that Pierre’s bedroom in broad daylight while paid staff wandered the halls was not necessarily the best place and time for them to get into each other’s pants, no matter how much it hurt him physically to not continue.
And without addressing what had just happened, the two continued to pack Pierre’s room up until the only things that remained were the clothes and toiletries he would need over the next two weeks before his move. In the end he had only filled one storage box containing nothing other than the trophies and pictures David had insisted he keep, one box of nothing but clothes he would be taking, and the rest was either designated trash or destined for donation. He felt a sense of accomplishment at having gotten himself ready, even more so at the fact that he would leave no trace of himself behind for his parents when he left and never came back.
The next two weeks went by entirely too quickly, with not nearly enough alone time for either of their tastes. David’s father was a constant presence around the house, giving them no time to comfortably be with each other. As a result, the two had started to spend more time outside of the house, though this meant they were in public and still were unable to touch and kiss each other the way that they wanted to. While David had hoped his father would head back to sea before Pierre left, the date of Pierre’s departure was almost upon them. He would be leaving the second to last Saturday of August, and David’s father would be leaving the following Monday. He couldn’t help but think that this was on purpose in an attempt to keep them from doing anything sexual together and he found himself resenting his father for the fact, even though he had no actual proof that this had been his intention.
It was the Friday morning before Pierre would be leaving when David felt himself being gently shaken awake in his bed. He turned his head to look up groggily at the person who had woken him, seeing Pierre sitting on the edge of his bed. Pierre smiled sweetly down at him, running his fingers through the hair covering the younger boy's forehead and pushing it gently aside. “Morning,” he said softly.
David closed his eyes and smiled, allowing the feeling of his boyfriend’s fingers in his hair to wash over him. “What time is it?” he asked, his voice a little croaky.
“7:30,” Pierre responded gently.
David scrunched up his face and groaned a little. “Why so early?” he asked. Though he had always gotten up earlier during the school year, he had gotten in the habit of sleeping in later during the month that Pierre had stayed with him and now he found himself waking up on his own around 8:30 to 9:00 every day.
“I wanna take you somewhere,” Pierre told him simply, smiling a little wider when David’s eyes opened and looked up at him again with curiosity. “I’m not gonna get to see you next weekend for your birthday so I want to celebrate today.”
Sadness crossed David’s features and he sat up, looking at the other boy for a moment before wrapping his arms under Pierre’s arms and around his middle. He hid his face in the other boy’s neck, the reality that tomorrow they would be saying goodbye crashing over him. Pierre closed his eyes and hugged David back, a hand finding the back of David’s head and holding him in place tenderly. For a moment they simply sat like that, both dreading the following day and the distance they would suddenly find between them for the first time in their lives since having known each other.
Then Pierre took a steadying breath and gave David a tight squeeze. “Come on, none of this today,” he said firmly, though David didn’t loosen his grip or pull back from him at all. “We can be sad tomorrow, let’s just be happy today.” Though David nodded into the other boy’s neck in response, he still made no move to pull out of his embrace. Pierre chuckled softly and moved his hands to David’s upper arms, pushing him gently away from him. He tilted his head down a little to catch a glimpse of David’s downturned face, smiling in spite of the sadness building inside of him. “Come on,” he said again, his voice even more gentle now. David’s eyes flicked up to Pierre’s, glassy with unshed tears. “There he is,” he said with a smile. “Sad tomorrow, let’s just have fun today, okay?” David nodded again and forced his own smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes and he didn’t speak.
With a gentle sigh Pierre stood and walked to David’s closet, pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans, a long sleeved henley shirt, the much too large red flannel that he had insisted David keep, and a black zip-up hoodie. Though it was August, he knew it would be chilly where they were going and that David would be glad for the layers when they got there. He turned and threw the clothes on the edge of David’s bed, smiling at him expectantly.
David grabbed the clothes and looked at them a little skeptically. “Where exactly are we going?” he asked, looking back up to Pierre slowly.
“I guess you’ll have to come with me and find out,” he said cryptically, flashing David a crooked smile.
David couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips and he got dressed, feeling surprisingly cute in the outfit that Pierre had picked out for him. Though his boyfriend’s flannel was way too big on him, there was something about the way that it stuck out from the bottom of his unzipped hoodie that he liked, enjoying the layered look more than he would have thought. There was also something about wearing clothes Pierre had picked for him that he enjoyed, though he couldn’t quite describe why.
After stopping in the bathroom to empty his bladder, wash his hands and face, and brush his teeth, he followed Pierre out to the car and got in the passenger seat. Immediately he noticed that there was a coffee waiting for him in the cup holder, a breakfast sandwich on the dash being kept warm in the sun, and a cooler in the backseat. He regarded Pierre with a curious smile who just flashed a beaming grin back at him. Pierre leaned forward and stole a quick kiss before starting the car, turning on the 2000’s Alternative radio station he always put on in the car for David, and backing out of the driveway.
David began to munch on his breakfast sandwich, glad that his boyfriend had thought to get him something for the road since he had woken him up. As he raised his cup of coffee to his lips and took a sip, something happened that surprised him so entirely he froze. Pierre began to sing.
“I got your picture, I’m coming with you, dear Maria count me in,” Pierre sang with the radio, his stomach flopping inside of him with nerves at the fact that for the first time since knowing him he was singing in front of David. He had picked up on these songs months previously but had never had the courage to sing any of them in front of the other boy, at first having been afraid that it would betray how much David meant to him that he had learned his favorite music, and then after feeling shy because singing just wasn’t something that he had ever done. His eyes flashed to David, smiling and laughing a little in spite of his nerves at the way David was staring at him with his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide, and his coffee held by his lips. “There’s a story at the bottom of this bottle and I’m the pen,” he continued, his grin wide and his eyes shining.
David continued to stare at his boyfriend, truly shocked by what he was hearing in more than one way. In all the time he had known Pierre he had never once heard him sing, not a single word, not even a hum. On top of that, he was singing to David’s favorite music, Dear Maria Count Me In being one of his favorite songs of all time. Though he had started to become aware that Pierre always played his favorite music for him, he was certain that it wasn’t what the other boy had ever listened to before him, so the fact that he knew these words now was not something he would have expected. And finally, he couldn’t believe how incredible Pierre’s voice sounded when singing this song. His voice was loud and strong, just on the edge of whiny in all the right ways for the genre, as if he was made to sing in a pop-punk band of his own.
Pierre continued to sing, hitting every word and every note perfectly, continuing to glance back at David, flirting with him now as he sang, singing to him specifically. David’s expression didn’t change, amazement and surprise plastered clearly all over his face. The look made Pierre feel like he was floating and suddenly he was kicking himself for how long he took to get over his nerves and sing in front of his boyfriend; it was clear how much David liked it. “Take a breath, don't it sound so easy? Never had a doubt, now I'm going crazy watching from the floor,” Pierre sang, smiling over at David as he did, before looking forward again out the windshield. “Take a breath and let the rest come easy, never settle down 'cause the cash flow leaves me always wanting more,” he sang the last note loud and strong, his head leaning against his head rest and his eyes closing a little at the force of his words.
Then he looked back at David, who had laughed a little in surprise. “‘Cause I got your picture, I’m coming with you, dear Maria count me in! There’s a story at the bottom of this bottle and I’m the pen!” Pierre continued, drawing a huge grin from David at how perfectly his voice hit every deviation in melody, how it raised in pitch, how he sang with the perfect amount of passion. David could see him singing on a stage and thought he would fit in perfectly, though he didn’t dress the part or style his hair in a way you would be used to seeing, and there wasn’t a single piercing or tattoo on his body. Still, he couldn’t get over how perfect he sounded.
Pierre finished the song, his focus going back and forth between the road and David, that pleased grin never leaving his lips. When the last of the words were sung, David allowed his excitement and shock to explode out of him and he put his coffee back in the cup holder, his eyes bright and wide. “Where did that come from?!” he asked suddenly, turning in his seat to face Pierre fully. Pierre laughed and blushed a little, giving a shrug and looking back to the road in front of him. “Seriously! Why haven’t you ever sung for me before?!” David demanded, reaching over and grasping onto the sleeve of Pierre’s t-shirt.
Pierre shrugged again, his smile turning a little shy at the attention. “I dunno, I just don’t really sing,” he said truthfully.
“Why?! You’re so fucking good!” David exclaimed, the curse word coming out outside of his control. David very rarely cursed and when he did, he really meant it.
Pierre blushed harder and looked over at him skeptically. “I don’t think I’d go that far,” he said, though he couldn’t keep the smile off of his lips at the way David was looking at him and the way he was grasping onto him.
“Are you kidding?!” David continued excitedly, leaning closer to him. “Pierre, your voice is perfect for this music! You literally sound like you could be in a band like this!”
Pierre laughed again, feeling embarrassed but pleased with the other boy’s reaction. “Shit, if I had known you were gonna like it this much I would’ve done it sooner,” he said smoothly, his eyes flashing back to David with a devilish twinkle.
“You can sing for me like that any time you want,” David told him, his eyes pouring over Pierre in a hungry fashion; if the other boy wasn’t driving, he would have attacked him already.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Pierre said flirtatiously, before looking forward again and continuing to sing with the next song that was already a minute in. David felt his face grow hot at the way Pierre was able to sing the next song perfectly as well, and it just continued like that as they drove. He didn’t know when Pierre had learned the words to all of these songs but he knew them all, from Green Day to Blink 182 to We The Kings to All Time Low, all of his favorite bands Pierre was singing with; suddenly David loved all of his favorite songs more than he ever had. He eventually regained the ability to think clearly and finished his breakfast sandwich and coffee, and at a certain point he started singing with Pierre, hitting the harmonies whenever there were any, feeling that their voices sounded just right together. David felt connected with the other boy in an entirely new way and felt himself only fall more in love because of it. It wasn’t something he had ever thought about before but now that he knew, he never wanted Pierre to stop singing for him.
They only drove an hour before they got to their destination, passing a sign that read “CITY & BOROUGH OF JUNEAU ECHO COVE BOAT LAUNCH RAMP”. Pierre parked and together they got out of the car, Pierre throwing on a maroon pullover hoodie before closing and locking the doors. When he got to the front of the car Pierre held his hand out for David who took it gladly, following the older boy’s lead as he pulled him down toward the edge of the water. He noticed the single boat ramp, some outhouses, and a gray, wet sandy beach which led to water surrounded by trees and mountains. Pierre pulled him down the beach and instantly he felt a breeze pick up around him, immediately understanding why Pierre had told him to dress in layers, though the sun was out and warmed his face enough that he was still comfortable with his flannel shirt and zip-up hoodie both open.
“You ever been here before?” Pierre asked after a few minutes of walking in silence. David shook his head and looked around, enjoying the pretty, serene view around them. “It’s early so there aren’t many people around but by lunch time this place is gonna be packed,” he continued, rubbing his fingers idly against the back of David’s hand as they walked.
David stopped walking suddenly and pulled back on Pierre’s hand, surprising him at the sudden shift. He gave the taller boy a dirty smile and wrapped his arms around his neck, moving up on his toes a little to kiss him in a way that suggested he very much wished they could have done more. Pierre grabbed onto David’s sides and kissed him back, desire for his boyfriend immediately coursing through him. Then David dropped back to his flat feet and continued to walk, pulling Pierre along again in the direction they had been heading. “Gotta get it in now, then,” he said, flashing his boyfriend a dirty smirk.
Pierre gave a playful growl and pulled his hand out of David’s to wrap it instead low around his hip, holding him possessively and pulling him into his side. “Not fair,” he complained, his voice low and raspy, before leaning down and biting gently on David’s neck.
David squirmed away from him, laughing as he did. “Talk about not fair!”
The two pulled apart and clasped hands again, intertwining their fingers and enjoying the morning around them. After walking for about a mile the scene opened up and became even more gorgeous, showing the cove surrounded by huge mountains, the beach widening a bit. They walked for what felt like a long time before finding somewhere to sit and relax, cuddling together and talking about anything and nothing at all, simply enjoying each other’s presence. As he had said would happen, by lunch there were people all around, some just walking the beach as they were, some on ATVs, some on their way to hike, and there were boats in the water enjoying the last bit of summer before it would become snowy and frigid again. David didn’t think he’d ever had a more relaxing morning.
They walked back to the car for lunch, David endeared at what Pierre had gathered for them. He had brought things to make sandwiches, premade potato salad, fruit, chips, sodas, waters, even a pack of cookies and some cupcakes. They sat on the hood of Pierre’s car and ate lunch together, enjoying their little picnic in the sun. When they had finished eating, Pierre grabbed the cupcakes and stuck a candle in one, doing his best to light it in spite of the breeze, and sang the younger boy a rendition of Happy Birthday. David couldn’t help but think of their future and wish for happiness for them together as he blew out the candle. Again he found himself struck by how much Pierre had changed in the last year, and how if someone had told him a year ago that the other boy would have planned the most wholesome, sweet birthday picnic for him in a year’s time he never would have believed it. A year previously he hated Pierre with every fiber of his being; now he loved him more than anyone he’d ever known.
When they walked back to the beach Pierre brought a football tucked in his arm. He threw it to David who squeaked a little when he tried to catch it, drawing laughter from the older boy. Pierre spent several minutes thereafter showing David how to throw and catch a football and after a short while they were standing apart, throwing the football back and forth, David’s throws much more wobbly than Pierre’s who was able to throw it with strength and precision every time. Then, hit by the sudden urge to show off and display his manliness, he jogged back a ways and threw the ball from an impressive distance. David was impressed at how far it sailed through the air, and the way it still came right to his hands. Pierre jogged back to him, knowing David would not be able to throw the ball that far to him, looking pleased with himself.
“Is there anything you’re not good at?” David asked him seriously, shaking his head a little and smiling. He felt silly that the other boy’s display had worked on him and that he was feeling very attracted to his boyish charms.
Pierre laughed and raised both eyebrows as he nodded and responded, “You haven’t seen me try to draw.”
After several more minutes of throwing the ball back and forth, Pierre gave David a devious smile before he sprinted at him. David squeaked again and immediately started to laugh nervously, holding his arms out and quickly trying to back away from whatever he was about to do to him. Then Pierre lowered his shoulder and scooped the smaller boy up, giving an exaggerated laugh as he did, drawing squawks and squeaks and ultimately laughter from him. He threw David over his shoulder and ran a few more paces before slowing to a stop and pulling him back down to stand with his body pressed against his, both laughing with pure joy.
“You’re a caveman!” David chided him jokingly, though he had loved every second of what the other boy had just done.
“What can I say? You bring out the animal in me,” Pierre responded, his voice low and seductive.
David bit his lip before leaning up to kiss the other boy, not caring that there were people around or if they were looking at them. Pierre moved his hand to grasp the side of David’s face, kissing him back slow and sweet. They pulled apart and shared a long meaningful stare before moving as one to sit down again. Pierre sat behind David with his legs spread and pulled him back against his body, leaning his chin forward to rest gently on the other boy’s shoulder. They sat like that for the longest time, enjoying the peace and tranquility of simply being in each other’s arms, wishing that the day would never end and that they would never have to say goodbye to each other.
Before long the sun was setting, turning the sky into a vibrant rainbow of colors in front of them. Once it had set fully, a shiver ran through David and Pierre placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “We should get going,” he said, his voice quiet.
David nodded and the two stood, dusting sand from their pants. They looked around and realized that no one else was still around. David pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at the time, realizing that it was past 8:45 PM with a feeling of surprise. “Whoa, it’s late,” he said, surprised that he hadn’t felt hungry again, though he had been so caught up in soaking in every last minute with his boyfriend that he supposed everything else just faded away.
Pierre didn’t respond and instead just grabbed his hand, throwing the football in his other arm and beginning the mile or so walk back to the car. They didn’t speak much as they did, both of them beginning to feel the weight of what was coming the following day pressing down on them. Though Pierre had insisted that they hold off on their sadness until the following morning, he couldn’t help it as the night drew toward its close, knowing that in a little over an hour he would be dropping David back off at his house for what would be the last time for a while.
When they got back into the car, Pierre turned it on and allowed the radio to start again, though this time he didn’t feel he had it in him at the moment to sing. He glanced back at the cooler then back to David, asking him softly, “Do you want another sandwich before we go?” David shook his head, not feeling hungry, and kept his eyes down on his hands in his lap. When he felt a hand under his chin pulling his face over, he couldn’t help it as tears welled in his eyes. Pierre sighed sadly and leaned over, his hand moving to cup David’s cheek and giving him a gentle kiss.
David closed his eyes and as he did two tears slipped from them and down his cheeks against his will. He didn’t want it to end, he didn’t want to have to watch the older boy walk away in the morning; he just wanted to stay in that moment forever. Without being to help himself, David turned sideways in his seat and leaned closer, grabbing Pierre’s face with both hands and parting his lips, drawing out his boyfriend’s tongue and turning the kiss passionate. Not caring where they were or about the fact that they were in the car, he began to climb over, straddling Pierre’s lap in the front seat, earning a surprised moan from the other boy. Pierre scooted forward in his seat a little, allowing David’s knees more room behind him, his hands finding the other boy’s ass and pulling him down against him, heat and desire blinding him to the reality that they were in the front seat of his car. For a moment, he allowed their fiery embrace to take him away, for his ever present desire to be with David to get the better of him.
And then David began to really grind down into him and he felt himself getting hard, moaning again at the sensation as it ripped through him, making him want to throw all logic aside and to take the other boy right then and there despite the fact that he didn’t have anything with him and there could still be people around to catch them. Then he felt David moan into his mouth and his hands move under his shirt, trying to push it up his chest, and the tiniest piece of logical ability came back to him. He pulled back, breathing hard, opening his eyes and looking into David’s eyes, something which made it very difficult to say what he knew he had to say. “David,” he breathed, but just as David had done the first time they had kissed when Pierre had tried to regain control of the situation, David just shook his head and grabbed his face again, pulling him back into a kiss.
Pierre almost lost control again but he pushed David back, breathing out the words, “David, we can’t.”
“Yes we can,” David breathed in return, and though this was the first they had ever spoken aloud about what they were headed toward, he didn’t have it in himself to be embarrassed. He leaned down and began to kiss Pierre’s neck, making his way to his earlobe and nipping at it gently. He felt Pierre’s hands grip his ass tighter and felt motivated forward, his body on fire with need.
“Our first time can’t be in the front seat of my car,” Pierre reasoned back breathlessly.
Immediately David retorted, “What about the back seat?”
A shaky, airy laugh left Pierre’s chest and he closed his eyes, his chest engulfed in flames at the way David kept kissing his neck and his ear. “We can’t do it like this,” he continued, despite how badly he wanted to.
“Please Pierre,” David begged desperately, biting him now. “I’m ready… I want you inside me,” he whispered into Pierre’s ear, not feeling the least bit embarrassed by his desperate words.
Pierre felt a surge in his groin at these words and his head swam; he knew these words were going to replay themselves over and over in his mind when he was alone and missing the other boy. Nothing other than the deepest love for his boyfriend and the strongest sense of self control could have allowed Pierre to stop them. Just hearing the words “I want you inside me” was almost enough to break his resolve, but he knew it was important, and he didn’t want their first time to be like this.
He grabbed David’s shoulders and forced him back, using his superior strength to put distance between them. When he was sure he had gotten through to him a little bit, he moved his hands to grab the other boy’s face, staring seriously into his eyes. “Believe me, I want this,” he said, his voice stern and his brown eyes locked intensely onto David’s hazel ones. “And I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for quite a while now,” he continued, and David blushed but maintained their eye contact. “But our first time can’t be like this. You are the most special thing to me in the world, and I want the first time we do this to be just as special as you are to me. I know it sucks, and this would have happened already if your dad hadn’t come back early… but it’s gonna be worth the wait when it finally happens, I promise.”
David stared sadly into Pierre’s eyes but he couldn’t deny his words, no matter how much he wanted to. Had he ever imagined his first time having sex with Pierre would be in his car? No. He knew that the other boy was right and that it would be worth waiting, no matter how hard it was. Still, he felt pent up and frustrated, having spent the last two weeks not able to touch or be touched by the other boy. With a huff and a pout he nodded. “Can we still mess around in the back seat?” he asked, his voice rife with disappointment.
Pierre glanced back there then looked around, seeing no other cars and no movement around them. “Okay,” he said with a grin. He moved to the backseat, grabbing the cooler and throwing it in the trunk of his car before getting back there with David and locking the doors. “But we have to be quick, you never know when a park ranger is gonna come around.” And just like that David was on top of him again, though this time they laid back as best as they could, very reminiscent of the way they had been tangled in each other for warmth the previous December after having crashed in the middle of the mountain pass. This time, however, when he kissed David, David kissed him back. And this time pants were unbuttoned and unzipped and hands were wild.
Before long they were both finished, panting hard in the backseat, the windows completely fogged up around them. They cuddled and kissed and enjoyed each other for several more minutes before knowing they had to start heading back and breaking apart from each other. It took some time back on the road before Pierre began to sing with the music again, wanting to cheer up his boyfriend who he could tell was trying not to cry again. Though David looked at him and smiled and sang back, Pierre could tell that the other boy’s heart wasn’t in it the way it had been earlier that morning. It broke his heart to know that there was nothing he could do to make it better, not this time.
Before they knew it, Pierre was dropping David off at his house and saying goodnight and the two were parting ways for the evening. In the morning a company would be coming up to take Pierre’s car off to storage, and David was set to pick him up not long after. It would be early as his flight for Anchorage was scheduled to leave at 7:30 in the morning. He told himself he had to sleep and he went back to his empty bedroom, seeing his two suitcases and his duffel bag at the foot of his bed and taking note of the way that the room held nothing else. Still, as he tried to sleep his mind replayed David’s desperate whisper, “Please Pierre. I’m ready… I want you inside me.” He groaned and threw his pillow over his face, hating that he had been so reasonable and stopped it from happening even though he knew it was absolutely the right thing to do.
David also lay in his bed replaying his own words, and now the embarrassment that he had been too worked up to feel before crashed over him. His eyes were wide and his face was bright red as he remembered what he had said in his desperation, and the way he had begged for it. He hid his face in his hands and squealed a little to himself, feeling that embarrassment eating him alive. “I can’t believe I said that,” he whispered to himself, before rolling over and forcing himself to go to sleep.
The next morning he sat in his car outside of Pierre’s house at 6 AM, sending the other boy a text that he was there. When he saw Pierre approaching with his bags, he popped open the trunk and jumped out to help him. He had two massive suitcases and one duffel bag; Pierre had realized it would be cheaper to check two bags than it would be to try to mail all of those clothes to himself and would be taking the duffel as his carryon. The two were fairly silent on their way to the airport, heartache suppressing their thoughts. Soon they were parking in the short-term parking lot and walking into the airport, David rolling one of the suitcases for his boyfriend in silence. He stood in the line with Pierre for his airline and watched as the other boy got his boarding pass and checked his two bags. Then they slowly made their way over to where the TSA line began, knowing David couldn’t go through with him; this would be where they said goodbye.
David couldn’t stop himself as his tears began to fall and suddenly he felt Pierre’s body against his and his arms around his shoulders, cradling him close and whispering, “It’s okay. We’re gonna see each other again soon.”
“I love you,” David cried into his chest, holding tight to him now, wishing he didn’t ever have to let go.
Pierre held the back of David’s head and closed his eyes, his heart aching knowing he was going to have to go. “I love you too,” he said back sadly. The two pulled back and looked at each other, Pierre’s thumb wiping away David’s tears, though they were immediately replaced by more. “No more of that,” he said, mimicking the words he had spoken to the other boy in the locker room several months back, but this time David didn’t have the ability to stop.
“I’m gonna miss you so much,” David whispered, big tears sliding down his cheeks; he didn’t even attempt to stop himself, now.
“Not as much as I’m gonna miss you,” Pierre replied, offering a sad smile. He leaned down and kissed David, pouring all of his love into it and hating that it would be the last time he got to kiss him for a while. David kissed him back with just as much love, causing his tears to fall harder and faster now. Slowly they pulled away from each other and Pierre began to back away, keeping his eyes connected to the younger boy’s. “I’ll text you when I land,” he said, earning a sad nod from David. “And when I get in my dorm and get settled a bit, I’ll call you, okay?” Again David nodded but spoke no words. Pierre sighed and stopped moving for a moment. “I’ll see you soon,” he said, before packing up every last bit of strength inside of him and turning to walk away. He felt like his heart was crashing into his stomach but he didn’t allow himself to turn around or stop walking, knowing it would only make it harder on both of them if he did. He felt his eyes stinging and his throat start to burn but he forced himself through it, knowing it wouldn’t help.
David watched Pierre retreat for a moment before turning and walking silently out of the airport and back to his car. When he got in and closed the door he allowed himself to break down fully, crying like he hadn’t cried for months, his heart tearing itself apart in his chest as he sobbed. He suddenly felt so alone and he wanted nothing more than to pack up his things and fly after his boyfriend to Anchorage, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He allowed his misery to swallow him and he sat there crying as long as he needed to, not forcing himself to stop, wanting to get it out before he got back home and had to see his dad. Sure, he knew it would be obvious that he had been crying, but he didn’t care. The person he had come to love more than anyone he had ever known had just walked away from him, and though it was only for the next several months, and though he knew he would be seeing Pierre in a few months’ time, it still felt like the world was ending. He knew he would have to pull himself back together and would have to continue on with his life, but for the moment, he would allow himself to feel that the world truly had come to an end and would wallow in it, knowing he had to let himself feel it at least for a little while if it wasn’t going to end up eating him alive in the end.
Author: shmorgenheigen
Chapter: Six
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Pierre/David
Word Count: 8616
Summary: The continuation of the story Behind the Net, picking up right where the original story left off. David and Pierre explore their new relationship while navigating a long distance relationship. While Pierre is in Anchorage in his first year of college and playing college hockey, David is stuck back in Juneau to finish his senior year of high school. When an unlikely person from David’s past shows up and forces their way back into David’s life, things take a turn for the dramatic. Will David and Pierre be able to maintain their love for each other while separated and stave off those pesky feelings of loneliness, jealousy, and depression?
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: When I started to re-write Behind the Net from Pierre’s perspective, I started to think about how much story there would be to tell when Pierre went off to college, leaving David alone in Juneau. I became obsessed with the idea of writing the next chapter in their story and now that it’s finished, I am absolutely in love with how it turned out and the original characters I added into the story! If anyone reads this, leave me a comment and let me know!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Pierre stood in his bedroom, boxes surrounding his feet on the floor, one labeled “TAKE”, one labeled “STORE”, one labeled “DONATE”, and one labeled “TRASH”. Though he had already filled two boxes labeled for donation and one for trash, he only planned on allowing himself to fill one “take” box. Anything he took would either have to come with him in a suitcase on the plane, or else be shipped to him and he honestly didn’t feel that there were any of his belongings that he wouldn’t be able to live without in Anchorage aside from his clothes and toiletries. Looking around his room at the things on his shelves, he suddenly didn’t feel that any of it mattered.
He began to grab trophies off of a big, black shelf in the corner of his room and throw them into the trash box. David registered what he was throwing away and his eyebrows pulled together in a mixture of confusion and concern. “Why are you getting rid of those?” he asked as he reached into the box and pulled out the trophies Pierre had already tossed in there.
“They just take up space,” Pierre responded nonchalantly as he held two more in his hands, poised to throw them away.
“Yeah but… they mean something,” David replied with uncertainty.
Pierre fixed David with a slightly skeptical look, shrugging his shoulders again and shaking his head a little as he did. “I mean… not really. It’s just a bunch of plastic.”
“It’s memories,” David reasoned slowly. “You earned these. They represent years of hard work and dedication, and without it you wouldn’t be where you are now.”
Pierre smiled with amusement, unsure where this sudden sentimental streak in his boyfriend was coming from. “What am I gonna do, display all my elementary and middle and high school trophies on a shelf in my dorm? Or in an apartment when I’m older? Or a house?” he asked, feeling that the idea was just silly.
“No, not necessarily, but I still think you should keep them, even if it’s just in a box in the attic that you don’t ever look at. Something about throwing them all away just feels wrong,” David retorted quietly.
Pierre gave a soft laugh and shook his head slowly at the younger boy. “I can see you’re gonna be the sentimental type that keeps every drawing and loose tooth if we ever end up with kids,” he joked, his voice soft and loving.
David grimaced outside of his control at that, a look of pure disgust crossing his features. “Ew, I would not keep teeth,” he said firmly, earning more laughter from the other boy. “Look, I just think if you throw them away right now someday you might wish you hadn’t, that’s all,” he added, his tone shifting back to serious.
Pierre gave a quiet sigh of defeat, the smile never leaving his lips. “If you really think it’s that important, I guess I can hold on to them,” he gave in, amusement still painting his words. “But I’m getting rid of the sports I don’t care about. I’m not keeping t-ball trophies from when I was four, or the one random soccer trophy from when I was six,” he added quickly. “I’m just keeping the hockey ones.”
David wanted to protest that it was all important and all led him to who he was now, but he relinquished with a nod. “Okay fine,” he said, before carefully placing the two trophies he held in a storage box. He walked over to the shelf, standing next to Pierre, and his eyes immediately went to team pictures. “But no getting rid of pictures,” he demanded, and as he did he picked up a picture of Pierre as a tiny boy with a baseball helmet on and holding a plastic bat.
“What? Why?” Pierre asked, looking confused again.
“Because look at how freaking cute you were!” David reasoned, turning the picture to shove it toward the taller boy. Pierre rolled his eyes and shook his head and without a word went back to pulling trophies off of the shelf. David looked back at the picture and smiled. This was from a time when he hadn’t met the other boy yet, when he had been three and Pierre had been four. He felt overwhelmed with the oddest feeling of giddy joy as he looked at the picture and the little boy in it with his cute squishy cheeks and his huge brown eyes and his missing bottom front tooth. It was almost too much to bear.
With a soft smile, he began to pull any pictures off of the shelf, regarding them all with equal interest as he did. It was interesting to watch Pierre grow through these pictures, to see him get taller, less squishy, transitioning from tot to little boy, from little boy to boy, from boy to preteen, and from preteen to teen. There were several different sports represented within the first few years of his life as he tried out different things from t-ball to soccer to basketball and even football, but by the time he was in his late elementary school years the only sport left was hockey. His hockey pictures had started when he was six and continued year after year, ending with his senior year in high school. As David regarded that particular photo, it felt strange to see himself in it. What an odd year it had been.
David stacked the photos neatly and moved to put them in the storage box, feeling certain that even if Pierre didn't see the merit in keeping them now, he would feel differently about it later in life. He made sure to pack the hockey trophies carefully as well, shoving large bits of packing paper all around and in between them to keep them from getting jumbled up and breaking in the box even if twenty years went by without it being opened. He truly felt these memories were worth preserving, and that Pierre would someday enjoy looking at them again.
It didn’t take long before anything unnecessary for Pierre’s life over the next two weeks was categorized into one of the four boxes, though given that Pierre really only planned on bringing clothes and the most basic necessities with him to Anchorage, the take box was rather empty. Still, David went through Pierre’s closet and pulled out the items that he thought the other boy might end up needing while he was away at college but definitely wouldn’t be needing in the next two weeks, like his nicer button up shirts and pants, even a suit jacket and a couple of ties. As he had pulled those articles from the closet he had regarded them all carefully, trying to imagine what Pierre would look like all dressed up. He had never seen it before and found it difficult to picture, though he imagined that the other boy would look gorgeous beyond his wildest dreams. He hoped at some point he had an excuse to see him in his best clothes.
He also pulled out the autumn and winter clothes that Pierre wouldn’t need until a few weeks after getting moved into his dorm, like flannel shirts, sweaters and jackets. He held a dark green flannel shirt in his hands, able to recall the times in class he had seen Pierre wearing it, and though he had never stopped and paid any attention to what he was wearing in the times he had seen it, now he could recall the memory and truly appreciate how hot he found the other boy in them.
When he felt something being slung over his shoulders and arms, David perked up a little and looked down at himself, seeing that Pierre had thrown his red flannel over him from inside the closet. David smiled and tossed the shirt he had been holding into the take box before slipping his arms into the sleeves of the shirt Pierre had just put on him, feeling a little silly at the fact that only his fingertips peeked out of the bottom of the sleeves and that the hem of the shirt came well below his butt and several inches down his thighs. Where the shoulders were supposed to sit came several inches down his upper arms, his own shoulders being far less broad than his boyfriend’s. Pierre, tall and muscular, clearly wore much bigger shirts than he did with his small, slender frame.
Pierre grabbed gently at the shirt up near the collar and used it to pull David close to him, his voice low and seductive as he practically whispered against David’s lips, “You look cute as fuck in that.”
David felt his body heat up and his eyes closed at the feel of Pierre’s whispered words against his lips, reaching forward involuntarily to grab onto the older boy’s sides. When he felt Pierre pull him forward the rest of the way into a kiss, David felt his knees weaken and he gave a soft, “Mmm,” against the kiss.
Suddenly Pierre’s tongue was in his mouth, massaging against his own, drawing another soft moan from the back of David’s throat and causing him to dig his fingers harder into Pierre’s sides. They pulled apart slowly, Pierre pressing his forehead against David’s with his eyes closed and his breath coming in short, quick puffs. David felt need overwhelm him and he leaned forward quickly, bringing his lips back to Pierre’s in a passionate kiss and wrapping his arms up around the older boy’s neck. The feel of David’s body pressing against his own was all it took for all rational thought to leave his mind and Pierre grabbed hard onto David’s body, walking backward until his legs hit the edge of his bed. He sat down and pulled David to sit on top of him, his hands sliding down the younger boy’s body to the backs of his thighs and pulling him forward to straddle his lap.
David obliged and climbed happily on top of his boyfriend, his arms holding ever tightly around Pierre’s neck, unwilling to allow even an inch of distance between their bodies. Then, driven by some subconscious desire, he began to roll his hips, rubbing his ass firmly over Pierre’s lap. The sensation made Pierre’s eyes roll a little behind his closed eyelids and a moan escaped the back of his throat, swallowed by David’s mouth. He moved his hands to grab the other boy’s ass, pulling him down again harder. Images flooded his mind at the contact and suddenly he saw David on top of him naked, riding him with his hard dick completely inside of him, moaning and taking all of him as Pierre pounded into him. He broke the kiss and moved to David’s neck, kissing and biting him as he continued to use his hands to help the other boy rub against his ever tightening jeans.
David tilted his head to the side as Pierre kissed and bit him, a frenzied mix of the two, his mind buzzing and his groin aching at the way the other boy’s hands pulling his ass down onto him felt. Thoughts of Pierre inside of him took over his mind and suddenly he wanted it right then and there. He wanted their clothes to be gone, he wanted to be sitting on top of Pierre, and he wanted to feel his hardened length as deep inside of him as he could go. In that moment there was no other word for what he wanted Pierre to do to him, and for once he didn’t feel the least bit embarrassed by it: he wanted Pierre to fuck him with everything he had.
A noise from outside Pierre’s bedroom door pulled the two apart, eyes wide with immediate panic. Pierre realized suddenly that he hadn’t locked the door, having had no intention of anything sexual happening that afternoon. The two sat like that completely frozen for several seconds, staring at the door as if waiting for the horrifying moment that it would open, though that moment never came. The sound of the movement continued on, becoming softer until it disappeared entirely, and the two boys relaxed with heavy sighs. David hunched his shoulders forward and leaned his forehead against Pierre’s shoulder, feeling an odd mixture of relief and defeat, a pathetic whimper leaving his throat as he did.
“It was probably just the maid,” Pierre whispered, though disappointment tore through him and he knew they wouldn’t be continuing whatever they had just been about to start. That time more than any other time it had felt like they were about to have sex for the first time. Though he was beyond disappointed that they had been interrupted, there was part of him that wanted it to be more special than just a random afternoon in his bedroom at his parents’ mansion, driven out of desire instead of love. Still, it had really felt like it was about to happen without ever even discussing it. Did this mean that David was ready? He couldn’t help but think it did.
David continued to sit atop Pierre for several minutes, feeling more certain than ever before that if they hadn’t been interrupted, they would have just ended up having sex. The way he had pictured it so clearly in his mind as if it was happening and had wanted it with every fiber of his being stuck out to him now. He hadn’t imagined it soft or sweet or loving; he had imagined it hard and fast and dirty. Even though that wasn’t what he had thought it would be when he had pictured it before, he suddenly now wanted it more than anything else on the planet. He wanted Pierre to be rough with him, to grab him and to take him and to make him his. The sudden realization felt shocking but he found he didn’t care - he wanted it more than he could explain.
“I hate everything,” David whined into Pierre’s shoulder, earning soft laughter from the other boy. Pierre placed his hands tenderly on his boyfriend’s back, rubbing him gently a few times before snaking his arms up and embracing him in a tight, loving hug. David allowed the feel of it to lull him back down to reality and he sighed heavily, his disappointment welling up inside of himself.
“Surely not everything,” Pierre said softly, an amused smile on his lips.
“Everything but you,” David muttered darkly; Pierre only laughed again at this. With another deep sigh David forced himself to stand, his entire body aching in a way he’d never quite experienced before. Having to go back to acting normally after having gotten so carried away felt awful, and it almost made him a little nauseous. Still, he knew they had gotten ahead of themselves and that Pierre’s bedroom in broad daylight while paid staff wandered the halls was not necessarily the best place and time for them to get into each other’s pants, no matter how much it hurt him physically to not continue.
And without addressing what had just happened, the two continued to pack Pierre’s room up until the only things that remained were the clothes and toiletries he would need over the next two weeks before his move. In the end he had only filled one storage box containing nothing other than the trophies and pictures David had insisted he keep, one box of nothing but clothes he would be taking, and the rest was either designated trash or destined for donation. He felt a sense of accomplishment at having gotten himself ready, even more so at the fact that he would leave no trace of himself behind for his parents when he left and never came back.
The next two weeks went by entirely too quickly, with not nearly enough alone time for either of their tastes. David’s father was a constant presence around the house, giving them no time to comfortably be with each other. As a result, the two had started to spend more time outside of the house, though this meant they were in public and still were unable to touch and kiss each other the way that they wanted to. While David had hoped his father would head back to sea before Pierre left, the date of Pierre’s departure was almost upon them. He would be leaving the second to last Saturday of August, and David’s father would be leaving the following Monday. He couldn’t help but think that this was on purpose in an attempt to keep them from doing anything sexual together and he found himself resenting his father for the fact, even though he had no actual proof that this had been his intention.
It was the Friday morning before Pierre would be leaving when David felt himself being gently shaken awake in his bed. He turned his head to look up groggily at the person who had woken him, seeing Pierre sitting on the edge of his bed. Pierre smiled sweetly down at him, running his fingers through the hair covering the younger boy's forehead and pushing it gently aside. “Morning,” he said softly.
David closed his eyes and smiled, allowing the feeling of his boyfriend’s fingers in his hair to wash over him. “What time is it?” he asked, his voice a little croaky.
“7:30,” Pierre responded gently.
David scrunched up his face and groaned a little. “Why so early?” he asked. Though he had always gotten up earlier during the school year, he had gotten in the habit of sleeping in later during the month that Pierre had stayed with him and now he found himself waking up on his own around 8:30 to 9:00 every day.
“I wanna take you somewhere,” Pierre told him simply, smiling a little wider when David’s eyes opened and looked up at him again with curiosity. “I’m not gonna get to see you next weekend for your birthday so I want to celebrate today.”
Sadness crossed David’s features and he sat up, looking at the other boy for a moment before wrapping his arms under Pierre’s arms and around his middle. He hid his face in the other boy’s neck, the reality that tomorrow they would be saying goodbye crashing over him. Pierre closed his eyes and hugged David back, a hand finding the back of David’s head and holding him in place tenderly. For a moment they simply sat like that, both dreading the following day and the distance they would suddenly find between them for the first time in their lives since having known each other.
Then Pierre took a steadying breath and gave David a tight squeeze. “Come on, none of this today,” he said firmly, though David didn’t loosen his grip or pull back from him at all. “We can be sad tomorrow, let’s just be happy today.” Though David nodded into the other boy’s neck in response, he still made no move to pull out of his embrace. Pierre chuckled softly and moved his hands to David’s upper arms, pushing him gently away from him. He tilted his head down a little to catch a glimpse of David’s downturned face, smiling in spite of the sadness building inside of him. “Come on,” he said again, his voice even more gentle now. David’s eyes flicked up to Pierre’s, glassy with unshed tears. “There he is,” he said with a smile. “Sad tomorrow, let’s just have fun today, okay?” David nodded again and forced his own smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes and he didn’t speak.
With a gentle sigh Pierre stood and walked to David’s closet, pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans, a long sleeved henley shirt, the much too large red flannel that he had insisted David keep, and a black zip-up hoodie. Though it was August, he knew it would be chilly where they were going and that David would be glad for the layers when they got there. He turned and threw the clothes on the edge of David’s bed, smiling at him expectantly.
David grabbed the clothes and looked at them a little skeptically. “Where exactly are we going?” he asked, looking back up to Pierre slowly.
“I guess you’ll have to come with me and find out,” he said cryptically, flashing David a crooked smile.
David couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips and he got dressed, feeling surprisingly cute in the outfit that Pierre had picked out for him. Though his boyfriend’s flannel was way too big on him, there was something about the way that it stuck out from the bottom of his unzipped hoodie that he liked, enjoying the layered look more than he would have thought. There was also something about wearing clothes Pierre had picked for him that he enjoyed, though he couldn’t quite describe why.
After stopping in the bathroom to empty his bladder, wash his hands and face, and brush his teeth, he followed Pierre out to the car and got in the passenger seat. Immediately he noticed that there was a coffee waiting for him in the cup holder, a breakfast sandwich on the dash being kept warm in the sun, and a cooler in the backseat. He regarded Pierre with a curious smile who just flashed a beaming grin back at him. Pierre leaned forward and stole a quick kiss before starting the car, turning on the 2000’s Alternative radio station he always put on in the car for David, and backing out of the driveway.
David began to munch on his breakfast sandwich, glad that his boyfriend had thought to get him something for the road since he had woken him up. As he raised his cup of coffee to his lips and took a sip, something happened that surprised him so entirely he froze. Pierre began to sing.
“I got your picture, I’m coming with you, dear Maria count me in,” Pierre sang with the radio, his stomach flopping inside of him with nerves at the fact that for the first time since knowing him he was singing in front of David. He had picked up on these songs months previously but had never had the courage to sing any of them in front of the other boy, at first having been afraid that it would betray how much David meant to him that he had learned his favorite music, and then after feeling shy because singing just wasn’t something that he had ever done. His eyes flashed to David, smiling and laughing a little in spite of his nerves at the way David was staring at him with his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide, and his coffee held by his lips. “There’s a story at the bottom of this bottle and I’m the pen,” he continued, his grin wide and his eyes shining.
David continued to stare at his boyfriend, truly shocked by what he was hearing in more than one way. In all the time he had known Pierre he had never once heard him sing, not a single word, not even a hum. On top of that, he was singing to David’s favorite music, Dear Maria Count Me In being one of his favorite songs of all time. Though he had started to become aware that Pierre always played his favorite music for him, he was certain that it wasn’t what the other boy had ever listened to before him, so the fact that he knew these words now was not something he would have expected. And finally, he couldn’t believe how incredible Pierre’s voice sounded when singing this song. His voice was loud and strong, just on the edge of whiny in all the right ways for the genre, as if he was made to sing in a pop-punk band of his own.
Pierre continued to sing, hitting every word and every note perfectly, continuing to glance back at David, flirting with him now as he sang, singing to him specifically. David’s expression didn’t change, amazement and surprise plastered clearly all over his face. The look made Pierre feel like he was floating and suddenly he was kicking himself for how long he took to get over his nerves and sing in front of his boyfriend; it was clear how much David liked it. “Take a breath, don't it sound so easy? Never had a doubt, now I'm going crazy watching from the floor,” Pierre sang, smiling over at David as he did, before looking forward again out the windshield. “Take a breath and let the rest come easy, never settle down 'cause the cash flow leaves me always wanting more,” he sang the last note loud and strong, his head leaning against his head rest and his eyes closing a little at the force of his words.
Then he looked back at David, who had laughed a little in surprise. “‘Cause I got your picture, I’m coming with you, dear Maria count me in! There’s a story at the bottom of this bottle and I’m the pen!” Pierre continued, drawing a huge grin from David at how perfectly his voice hit every deviation in melody, how it raised in pitch, how he sang with the perfect amount of passion. David could see him singing on a stage and thought he would fit in perfectly, though he didn’t dress the part or style his hair in a way you would be used to seeing, and there wasn’t a single piercing or tattoo on his body. Still, he couldn’t get over how perfect he sounded.
Pierre finished the song, his focus going back and forth between the road and David, that pleased grin never leaving his lips. When the last of the words were sung, David allowed his excitement and shock to explode out of him and he put his coffee back in the cup holder, his eyes bright and wide. “Where did that come from?!” he asked suddenly, turning in his seat to face Pierre fully. Pierre laughed and blushed a little, giving a shrug and looking back to the road in front of him. “Seriously! Why haven’t you ever sung for me before?!” David demanded, reaching over and grasping onto the sleeve of Pierre’s t-shirt.
Pierre shrugged again, his smile turning a little shy at the attention. “I dunno, I just don’t really sing,” he said truthfully.
“Why?! You’re so fucking good!” David exclaimed, the curse word coming out outside of his control. David very rarely cursed and when he did, he really meant it.
Pierre blushed harder and looked over at him skeptically. “I don’t think I’d go that far,” he said, though he couldn’t keep the smile off of his lips at the way David was looking at him and the way he was grasping onto him.
“Are you kidding?!” David continued excitedly, leaning closer to him. “Pierre, your voice is perfect for this music! You literally sound like you could be in a band like this!”
Pierre laughed again, feeling embarrassed but pleased with the other boy’s reaction. “Shit, if I had known you were gonna like it this much I would’ve done it sooner,” he said smoothly, his eyes flashing back to David with a devilish twinkle.
“You can sing for me like that any time you want,” David told him, his eyes pouring over Pierre in a hungry fashion; if the other boy wasn’t driving, he would have attacked him already.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Pierre said flirtatiously, before looking forward again and continuing to sing with the next song that was already a minute in. David felt his face grow hot at the way Pierre was able to sing the next song perfectly as well, and it just continued like that as they drove. He didn’t know when Pierre had learned the words to all of these songs but he knew them all, from Green Day to Blink 182 to We The Kings to All Time Low, all of his favorite bands Pierre was singing with; suddenly David loved all of his favorite songs more than he ever had. He eventually regained the ability to think clearly and finished his breakfast sandwich and coffee, and at a certain point he started singing with Pierre, hitting the harmonies whenever there were any, feeling that their voices sounded just right together. David felt connected with the other boy in an entirely new way and felt himself only fall more in love because of it. It wasn’t something he had ever thought about before but now that he knew, he never wanted Pierre to stop singing for him.
They only drove an hour before they got to their destination, passing a sign that read “CITY & BOROUGH OF JUNEAU ECHO COVE BOAT LAUNCH RAMP”. Pierre parked and together they got out of the car, Pierre throwing on a maroon pullover hoodie before closing and locking the doors. When he got to the front of the car Pierre held his hand out for David who took it gladly, following the older boy’s lead as he pulled him down toward the edge of the water. He noticed the single boat ramp, some outhouses, and a gray, wet sandy beach which led to water surrounded by trees and mountains. Pierre pulled him down the beach and instantly he felt a breeze pick up around him, immediately understanding why Pierre had told him to dress in layers, though the sun was out and warmed his face enough that he was still comfortable with his flannel shirt and zip-up hoodie both open.
“You ever been here before?” Pierre asked after a few minutes of walking in silence. David shook his head and looked around, enjoying the pretty, serene view around them. “It’s early so there aren’t many people around but by lunch time this place is gonna be packed,” he continued, rubbing his fingers idly against the back of David’s hand as they walked.
David stopped walking suddenly and pulled back on Pierre’s hand, surprising him at the sudden shift. He gave the taller boy a dirty smile and wrapped his arms around his neck, moving up on his toes a little to kiss him in a way that suggested he very much wished they could have done more. Pierre grabbed onto David’s sides and kissed him back, desire for his boyfriend immediately coursing through him. Then David dropped back to his flat feet and continued to walk, pulling Pierre along again in the direction they had been heading. “Gotta get it in now, then,” he said, flashing his boyfriend a dirty smirk.
Pierre gave a playful growl and pulled his hand out of David’s to wrap it instead low around his hip, holding him possessively and pulling him into his side. “Not fair,” he complained, his voice low and raspy, before leaning down and biting gently on David’s neck.
David squirmed away from him, laughing as he did. “Talk about not fair!”
The two pulled apart and clasped hands again, intertwining their fingers and enjoying the morning around them. After walking for about a mile the scene opened up and became even more gorgeous, showing the cove surrounded by huge mountains, the beach widening a bit. They walked for what felt like a long time before finding somewhere to sit and relax, cuddling together and talking about anything and nothing at all, simply enjoying each other’s presence. As he had said would happen, by lunch there were people all around, some just walking the beach as they were, some on ATVs, some on their way to hike, and there were boats in the water enjoying the last bit of summer before it would become snowy and frigid again. David didn’t think he’d ever had a more relaxing morning.
They walked back to the car for lunch, David endeared at what Pierre had gathered for them. He had brought things to make sandwiches, premade potato salad, fruit, chips, sodas, waters, even a pack of cookies and some cupcakes. They sat on the hood of Pierre’s car and ate lunch together, enjoying their little picnic in the sun. When they had finished eating, Pierre grabbed the cupcakes and stuck a candle in one, doing his best to light it in spite of the breeze, and sang the younger boy a rendition of Happy Birthday. David couldn’t help but think of their future and wish for happiness for them together as he blew out the candle. Again he found himself struck by how much Pierre had changed in the last year, and how if someone had told him a year ago that the other boy would have planned the most wholesome, sweet birthday picnic for him in a year’s time he never would have believed it. A year previously he hated Pierre with every fiber of his being; now he loved him more than anyone he’d ever known.
When they walked back to the beach Pierre brought a football tucked in his arm. He threw it to David who squeaked a little when he tried to catch it, drawing laughter from the older boy. Pierre spent several minutes thereafter showing David how to throw and catch a football and after a short while they were standing apart, throwing the football back and forth, David’s throws much more wobbly than Pierre’s who was able to throw it with strength and precision every time. Then, hit by the sudden urge to show off and display his manliness, he jogged back a ways and threw the ball from an impressive distance. David was impressed at how far it sailed through the air, and the way it still came right to his hands. Pierre jogged back to him, knowing David would not be able to throw the ball that far to him, looking pleased with himself.
“Is there anything you’re not good at?” David asked him seriously, shaking his head a little and smiling. He felt silly that the other boy’s display had worked on him and that he was feeling very attracted to his boyish charms.
Pierre laughed and raised both eyebrows as he nodded and responded, “You haven’t seen me try to draw.”
After several more minutes of throwing the ball back and forth, Pierre gave David a devious smile before he sprinted at him. David squeaked again and immediately started to laugh nervously, holding his arms out and quickly trying to back away from whatever he was about to do to him. Then Pierre lowered his shoulder and scooped the smaller boy up, giving an exaggerated laugh as he did, drawing squawks and squeaks and ultimately laughter from him. He threw David over his shoulder and ran a few more paces before slowing to a stop and pulling him back down to stand with his body pressed against his, both laughing with pure joy.
“You’re a caveman!” David chided him jokingly, though he had loved every second of what the other boy had just done.
“What can I say? You bring out the animal in me,” Pierre responded, his voice low and seductive.
David bit his lip before leaning up to kiss the other boy, not caring that there were people around or if they were looking at them. Pierre moved his hand to grasp the side of David’s face, kissing him back slow and sweet. They pulled apart and shared a long meaningful stare before moving as one to sit down again. Pierre sat behind David with his legs spread and pulled him back against his body, leaning his chin forward to rest gently on the other boy’s shoulder. They sat like that for the longest time, enjoying the peace and tranquility of simply being in each other’s arms, wishing that the day would never end and that they would never have to say goodbye to each other.
Before long the sun was setting, turning the sky into a vibrant rainbow of colors in front of them. Once it had set fully, a shiver ran through David and Pierre placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “We should get going,” he said, his voice quiet.
David nodded and the two stood, dusting sand from their pants. They looked around and realized that no one else was still around. David pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at the time, realizing that it was past 8:45 PM with a feeling of surprise. “Whoa, it’s late,” he said, surprised that he hadn’t felt hungry again, though he had been so caught up in soaking in every last minute with his boyfriend that he supposed everything else just faded away.
Pierre didn’t respond and instead just grabbed his hand, throwing the football in his other arm and beginning the mile or so walk back to the car. They didn’t speak much as they did, both of them beginning to feel the weight of what was coming the following day pressing down on them. Though Pierre had insisted that they hold off on their sadness until the following morning, he couldn’t help it as the night drew toward its close, knowing that in a little over an hour he would be dropping David back off at his house for what would be the last time for a while.
When they got back into the car, Pierre turned it on and allowed the radio to start again, though this time he didn’t feel he had it in him at the moment to sing. He glanced back at the cooler then back to David, asking him softly, “Do you want another sandwich before we go?” David shook his head, not feeling hungry, and kept his eyes down on his hands in his lap. When he felt a hand under his chin pulling his face over, he couldn’t help it as tears welled in his eyes. Pierre sighed sadly and leaned over, his hand moving to cup David’s cheek and giving him a gentle kiss.
David closed his eyes and as he did two tears slipped from them and down his cheeks against his will. He didn’t want it to end, he didn’t want to have to watch the older boy walk away in the morning; he just wanted to stay in that moment forever. Without being to help himself, David turned sideways in his seat and leaned closer, grabbing Pierre’s face with both hands and parting his lips, drawing out his boyfriend’s tongue and turning the kiss passionate. Not caring where they were or about the fact that they were in the car, he began to climb over, straddling Pierre’s lap in the front seat, earning a surprised moan from the other boy. Pierre scooted forward in his seat a little, allowing David’s knees more room behind him, his hands finding the other boy’s ass and pulling him down against him, heat and desire blinding him to the reality that they were in the front seat of his car. For a moment, he allowed their fiery embrace to take him away, for his ever present desire to be with David to get the better of him.
And then David began to really grind down into him and he felt himself getting hard, moaning again at the sensation as it ripped through him, making him want to throw all logic aside and to take the other boy right then and there despite the fact that he didn’t have anything with him and there could still be people around to catch them. Then he felt David moan into his mouth and his hands move under his shirt, trying to push it up his chest, and the tiniest piece of logical ability came back to him. He pulled back, breathing hard, opening his eyes and looking into David’s eyes, something which made it very difficult to say what he knew he had to say. “David,” he breathed, but just as David had done the first time they had kissed when Pierre had tried to regain control of the situation, David just shook his head and grabbed his face again, pulling him back into a kiss.
Pierre almost lost control again but he pushed David back, breathing out the words, “David, we can’t.”
“Yes we can,” David breathed in return, and though this was the first they had ever spoken aloud about what they were headed toward, he didn’t have it in himself to be embarrassed. He leaned down and began to kiss Pierre’s neck, making his way to his earlobe and nipping at it gently. He felt Pierre’s hands grip his ass tighter and felt motivated forward, his body on fire with need.
“Our first time can’t be in the front seat of my car,” Pierre reasoned back breathlessly.
Immediately David retorted, “What about the back seat?”
A shaky, airy laugh left Pierre’s chest and he closed his eyes, his chest engulfed in flames at the way David kept kissing his neck and his ear. “We can’t do it like this,” he continued, despite how badly he wanted to.
“Please Pierre,” David begged desperately, biting him now. “I’m ready… I want you inside me,” he whispered into Pierre’s ear, not feeling the least bit embarrassed by his desperate words.
Pierre felt a surge in his groin at these words and his head swam; he knew these words were going to replay themselves over and over in his mind when he was alone and missing the other boy. Nothing other than the deepest love for his boyfriend and the strongest sense of self control could have allowed Pierre to stop them. Just hearing the words “I want you inside me” was almost enough to break his resolve, but he knew it was important, and he didn’t want their first time to be like this.
He grabbed David’s shoulders and forced him back, using his superior strength to put distance between them. When he was sure he had gotten through to him a little bit, he moved his hands to grab the other boy’s face, staring seriously into his eyes. “Believe me, I want this,” he said, his voice stern and his brown eyes locked intensely onto David’s hazel ones. “And I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for quite a while now,” he continued, and David blushed but maintained their eye contact. “But our first time can’t be like this. You are the most special thing to me in the world, and I want the first time we do this to be just as special as you are to me. I know it sucks, and this would have happened already if your dad hadn’t come back early… but it’s gonna be worth the wait when it finally happens, I promise.”
David stared sadly into Pierre’s eyes but he couldn’t deny his words, no matter how much he wanted to. Had he ever imagined his first time having sex with Pierre would be in his car? No. He knew that the other boy was right and that it would be worth waiting, no matter how hard it was. Still, he felt pent up and frustrated, having spent the last two weeks not able to touch or be touched by the other boy. With a huff and a pout he nodded. “Can we still mess around in the back seat?” he asked, his voice rife with disappointment.
Pierre glanced back there then looked around, seeing no other cars and no movement around them. “Okay,” he said with a grin. He moved to the backseat, grabbing the cooler and throwing it in the trunk of his car before getting back there with David and locking the doors. “But we have to be quick, you never know when a park ranger is gonna come around.” And just like that David was on top of him again, though this time they laid back as best as they could, very reminiscent of the way they had been tangled in each other for warmth the previous December after having crashed in the middle of the mountain pass. This time, however, when he kissed David, David kissed him back. And this time pants were unbuttoned and unzipped and hands were wild.
Before long they were both finished, panting hard in the backseat, the windows completely fogged up around them. They cuddled and kissed and enjoyed each other for several more minutes before knowing they had to start heading back and breaking apart from each other. It took some time back on the road before Pierre began to sing with the music again, wanting to cheer up his boyfriend who he could tell was trying not to cry again. Though David looked at him and smiled and sang back, Pierre could tell that the other boy’s heart wasn’t in it the way it had been earlier that morning. It broke his heart to know that there was nothing he could do to make it better, not this time.
Before they knew it, Pierre was dropping David off at his house and saying goodnight and the two were parting ways for the evening. In the morning a company would be coming up to take Pierre’s car off to storage, and David was set to pick him up not long after. It would be early as his flight for Anchorage was scheduled to leave at 7:30 in the morning. He told himself he had to sleep and he went back to his empty bedroom, seeing his two suitcases and his duffel bag at the foot of his bed and taking note of the way that the room held nothing else. Still, as he tried to sleep his mind replayed David’s desperate whisper, “Please Pierre. I’m ready… I want you inside me.” He groaned and threw his pillow over his face, hating that he had been so reasonable and stopped it from happening even though he knew it was absolutely the right thing to do.
David also lay in his bed replaying his own words, and now the embarrassment that he had been too worked up to feel before crashed over him. His eyes were wide and his face was bright red as he remembered what he had said in his desperation, and the way he had begged for it. He hid his face in his hands and squealed a little to himself, feeling that embarrassment eating him alive. “I can’t believe I said that,” he whispered to himself, before rolling over and forcing himself to go to sleep.
The next morning he sat in his car outside of Pierre’s house at 6 AM, sending the other boy a text that he was there. When he saw Pierre approaching with his bags, he popped open the trunk and jumped out to help him. He had two massive suitcases and one duffel bag; Pierre had realized it would be cheaper to check two bags than it would be to try to mail all of those clothes to himself and would be taking the duffel as his carryon. The two were fairly silent on their way to the airport, heartache suppressing their thoughts. Soon they were parking in the short-term parking lot and walking into the airport, David rolling one of the suitcases for his boyfriend in silence. He stood in the line with Pierre for his airline and watched as the other boy got his boarding pass and checked his two bags. Then they slowly made their way over to where the TSA line began, knowing David couldn’t go through with him; this would be where they said goodbye.
David couldn’t stop himself as his tears began to fall and suddenly he felt Pierre’s body against his and his arms around his shoulders, cradling him close and whispering, “It’s okay. We’re gonna see each other again soon.”
“I love you,” David cried into his chest, holding tight to him now, wishing he didn’t ever have to let go.
Pierre held the back of David’s head and closed his eyes, his heart aching knowing he was going to have to go. “I love you too,” he said back sadly. The two pulled back and looked at each other, Pierre’s thumb wiping away David’s tears, though they were immediately replaced by more. “No more of that,” he said, mimicking the words he had spoken to the other boy in the locker room several months back, but this time David didn’t have the ability to stop.
“I’m gonna miss you so much,” David whispered, big tears sliding down his cheeks; he didn’t even attempt to stop himself, now.
“Not as much as I’m gonna miss you,” Pierre replied, offering a sad smile. He leaned down and kissed David, pouring all of his love into it and hating that it would be the last time he got to kiss him for a while. David kissed him back with just as much love, causing his tears to fall harder and faster now. Slowly they pulled away from each other and Pierre began to back away, keeping his eyes connected to the younger boy’s. “I’ll text you when I land,” he said, earning a sad nod from David. “And when I get in my dorm and get settled a bit, I’ll call you, okay?” Again David nodded but spoke no words. Pierre sighed and stopped moving for a moment. “I’ll see you soon,” he said, before packing up every last bit of strength inside of him and turning to walk away. He felt like his heart was crashing into his stomach but he didn’t allow himself to turn around or stop walking, knowing it would only make it harder on both of them if he did. He felt his eyes stinging and his throat start to burn but he forced himself through it, knowing it wouldn’t help.
David watched Pierre retreat for a moment before turning and walking silently out of the airport and back to his car. When he got in and closed the door he allowed himself to break down fully, crying like he hadn’t cried for months, his heart tearing itself apart in his chest as he sobbed. He suddenly felt so alone and he wanted nothing more than to pack up his things and fly after his boyfriend to Anchorage, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He allowed his misery to swallow him and he sat there crying as long as he needed to, not forcing himself to stop, wanting to get it out before he got back home and had to see his dad. Sure, he knew it would be obvious that he had been crying, but he didn’t care. The person he had come to love more than anyone he had ever known had just walked away from him, and though it was only for the next several months, and though he knew he would be seeing Pierre in a few months’ time, it still felt like the world was ending. He knew he would have to pull himself back together and would have to continue on with his life, but for the moment, he would allow himself to feel that the world truly had come to an end and would wallow in it, knowing he had to let himself feel it at least for a little while if it wasn’t going to end up eating him alive in the end.