... Buddhist cowboy?

[shipwright]

Christmas, for a little while longer.

I continue negotiations with God, in whatever way or form I can find him/her/it. I take great comfort in knowing that the Good Lady Tess, my mother's beloved friend, continues similar negotiations herself.

Comments

[appending_doom]

It's always big spiritual events where I find new facets that I need to address. It's exciting, because it's like I keep getting to discover new things about a close friend.

[shipwright]

For me, it's always coming home and being with my dad that brings it up. When I was younger, I took a lot of my spiritual/religious cues from him, but over the past two years I've slowly come to terms with issues of dishonesty and abuse in the orginization in which he worships (and in which I was raised to worship). I've left the orginization, but he won't. So in a way, I feel like I've lost my guide and am on my own with God. It's a challenge. I'm recreating my relationship with the spirit, and am starting to recreate that part of my relationship with my father.

It's strange, but when I'm away I'm able to distance myself from these things enough to think that I have it all figured out. It's when I come home that I realize how far I still have to go to develop a relationship with God that I'm comfortable with. But I know that I'm doing the right thing in striking out on my own, and I know that I'm going in the right direction.