Matchmaker Matchmaker (or Brides for Barter)

[shipshapeshipco]

There are three constants to be expected when walking on a brisk Corsican afternoon: a warm breeze at your tail, an impassioned support (or contentious rebuttal) of the radical new chestnut-tree tax, and an unprovoked invitation to wed a charming if not slightly bemused local girl

Comments

[electronichound]

I'll take one.

[electronichound]

I've been informed you're too spirited. Don't worry, you're off the docket.

[brynkitten]

Uhm...thank you?

[watelseisthere]

[He is catching this completely by chance accident but with the women he knows that would NOT stand for that.]

[electronichound]

I can hear you breathing.

[watelseisthere]

[And he jumps because he didn't think the comm was recording. Still a bit of a fail, the poor boy.]

I didn't mean to intrude.

[blitzmeister]

[He isn't even going to say anything, just flooding the comm with roaring laughter. Shipnet is so much better when you're drunk.]

[electronichound]

It's no use, I've staked my claim.

[blitzmeister]

Oh, don't you worry about me, I won't be interferring with anything you get going.

[He will laugh like hell when it happens, though.]

[shipshapeshipco]

That'd be Kate. Definitely Kate. She has male-bearing hips and the old ginger-shame. Allow me to make arrangements!

[How nice it is to find a proper gentleman in this day and age! Color Samuel impressed.]

[electronichound]

Excellent. Is she broken already, and do you have a hobbling strap I can affix to her ankles at night to prevent her from trying to run away?

[Batou drags on his cigarette.]

If she's not a virgin I'll sell her to the abattoir and she can find her fortune as a gristle-maid.

[shipshapeshipco]

Call me a bit of a bloody-chamber progressivist but I don't much savvy to the hobbling straps.

As for the inquiry, I'm certain she is pure. As a man of science you must be aware that if she was not, her voice would be bespattered with imperfect pitch. Poor vocal control is God and nature's way of telling us a girl has a bit of a loose attitude, after all!

[teethofneedles]

That's fuckin' bullshit.

[electronichound]

No, really, science can explain.

[Draaaaag.]

[teethofneedles]

What's your science say about lesbians, hot shot?

[electronichound]

Let me check my studies.

[Batou is drunk.

He thinks back to the lesbian pornography he's seen. Ashes his cigarette.]

... says it's a healthy and normal expression of female sexuality.