Haetae [Part 3]
>Part 2<
Chapter 7
“So Jinki, on a scale of one to ten… how stupid is it to sleep with a subordinate” Kibum was in the Officer’s Mess with Onew, fishing for an honest opinion.
“9.” He replied, “Especially if that subordinate is you.”
Kibum pretended to be affronted, he might have been a little, but it was Jinki so he was just teasing. “How dare You! Me sleeping with the former captain had nothing to do with me getting his job! Correlation does not equal causation, you’re a scientist!-”
“So...” Onew stopped him there in a low voice, keen to remind Kibum that this would not be a good conversation to have loudly. “This is about Jonghyun then?”
“Maybe.” Kibum admitted, more quietly.
“I wasn’t aware that any sleeping was involved.”
“Oh stop being pedantic,” He said, slapping the doctor on the forearm. “I’m trying to talk seriously to you... How did you know anyway?”
“You were hardly quiet in the showers” Replied Onew matter-of-factly. “Are you saying that there were more times than that?” He looked genuinely curious.
“Well… too good an opportunity to pass up really.” It really was. He’d needed someone to help with his reports, that Jonghyun was so amenable to other things was just a bonus.
“But you’re having second thoughts?”
“It’s not what you’re thinking… I’m not worried about using him.”
“I’d rather you didn’t for the recordt. I quite like him.”
“See, that’s the problem.” This was going to be painful to admit. He’d made it quite public that he didn’t like the private, and yet…”I think I like him too… I miss him.”
“Wait, where did he go” Onew was always missing the damn point.
“Furlough”
“You can’t be serious? He could only have been gone for 4 days-“ Still not the point.
“3 - and I know it’s stupid, but-“
“I think it’s quite sweet. He’s making an honest man of you.” Jinki grinned at him.
Bastard had got the point finally. “Hardly.” Kibum denied anyway, knowing that he wouldn’t be believed.
“So how did this happen then? Did you fall for the company’s bad boy?”
“No.” Maybe. “He’s loyal, he’s eager, he doesn’t hide things from me, and he’s not really bad… just disobedient.”
“So you’re basically saying he’s a puppy dog?”
“I always wanted a dog…” Jinki side eyed him, hard. “It’s just… The way he looks at me sometimes-“
“You’ll hurt him, he’s too fragile.”
“Hey we’re supposed to be talking about how fragile I am for once!”
“…” Onew seemed unconvinced.
“Don’t look at me like that. Just because you think I ought to be being responsible.”
“You were the one who chose to describe him as a ‘subordinate’”
“Hmph. Maybe.” Kibum admitted. The vulnerabilities that he did have really weren’t relevant to him choosing to fall for a private… Well maybe they were, he hadn’t told JInki the whole truth about why he liked Jonghyun.
Kibum already knew that Jonghyun had a rebellious streak (obviously) but his bravado didn’t seem to mask any insecurity. He had somewhere along the line decided that Jjong was an essentially confident person, which, in a sea of men struggling pathetically to prove their ‘masculinity’, was incredibly attractive. From personal experience the captain knew a man with a sensitive ego when he saw one, and knew to avoid one. Jonghyun, however, seemed to him to possess more than a little innate self-belief.
A few weeks ago Kibum had taken the liberty of looking Kim Jonghyun up properly, not just his official files. Yes he felt a bit guilty, but then again, it was all information freely available on the internet.
Age 17 Jonghyun had left school to join a rock band. They’d promoted by themselves nonstop for 3 years before being picked up by a medium-sized agency. Then they’d gone under the radar for a while, before reemerging completely transformed. The agency had smartened them up, kicked one of them out, and allegedly interfered in their (Jjong’s) songwriting. But it had worked, the band started to get better gigs, articles were written about them and their songs had started to sneak into the weekly charts. Then, seemingly out of the blue, Jonghyun had packed up and left to do his own thing, taking most of the fledgling fanbase with him…
After that nothing happened. The group carried on, quickly gathering new fans to replace the old, and Jonghyun was nowhere to be seen. The fan forums were abuzz with rumors that the agency had blocked him, that he could only play in tiny, private venue. That no one else would have him or speak about him. Kibum was surprised that a small agency could have so much power. Jonghyun must have really pissed them off somehow. Kibum kind of liked the idea.
Onew broke his train of thought… “You know, no matter how much youlike him, you can’t keep him forever.”
“I know.”
Jonghyun was feeling fidgety. The division had been gathered in the small auditorium for a lecture on ‘advanced camouflage’, which would have been totally fine if he wasn’t hyper-aware of being watched from the side of the room.
He and Kibum had been carrying on their affair for about a month. It didn’t really amount to much, a few quickies here and there, a fumble in a cupboard. It’d been even harder than Jjong had anticipated for them to meet in private and it had left him more frustrated than before they had begun this thing. That didn’t mean that they’d seen any less of each other in public though and Jonghyun was losing count of the number of hours he’d spent being tortured by the captain’s gaze prickling the back of his neck. Today Kibum’s attention was extra burdensome.
Jonghyun had arrived back at base that morning from his first furlough. He’d officially been a soldier for 100 days and he’d been rewarded with 5 off to see his loved ones. The problem was that once he’d gotten over the joy and the tears of seeing his mother and sister again, he’d been left thinking about Kibum. He’d wanted so badly to tell them about him… as if he were his boyfriend and he wanted them to approve or something. Of course he knew that they wouldn’t and so he didn’t. Not because Kibum was a man, that had never been a problem before, unless he counted his father - which he didn’t. But Kibum was his commanding officer and that was obviously dumb and he didn’t want to be told that by someone he cared about.
The sergeant major droned on. It was all really pretty obvious, just look like the thing you’re hiding in. Then again, some of the men weren’t too bright; maybe they really didn’t realize that you had to match your camouflage to your surroundings. Jjong snuck a glance over to where Kibum was standing. Every time he looked at him these days he was struck by how attractive the captain was…
“PRIVATE KIM JONGHYUN!”
Fuck. “Yes Sir!”
“ARE YOU NOT INTERESTED IN THIS LECTURE PRIVATE?”
Fuck was he supposed to answer ‘Yes interested’ or ‘No not not interested’? “NO SIR! IT’S VERY INTERESTING SIR!”
“WELL IF YOU’RE STILL STRUGGLING TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE DEMONSTRATION PRIVATE, THEN YOU CAN COME DOWN AND BE A PART OF IT!”
Well that sounded awkward. Jjong glared at his friends, who were trying to stifle their laughter as he shuffled out of his seat and down the steps to the stage.
“Right…” Continued the SGM. as Jonghyun made his way forwards. “Now pay attention men, because you’ll have to do this yourselves later. Captain, if you’d be so kind.”
What fresh hell was this? Jonghyun wondered as Kibum came towards him bearing camo paint and a smirk. How was he expected to keep a straight face with the captain touching him in front of everybody? What if he gave something away. Being scrutinized like this was not comfortable at all and his knees were threatening to start shaking. He wasn’t usually a victim of stage fright, but this must be what it felt like.
The sergeant major continued, oblivious to his pain. “The first thing you have to remember about winter weather is that your breath is just as visible as you are - so wear your muffler at all times!” Kibum handed him a muffler, Jjong felt a current pass between them as their fingertips brushed. How did Kibum keep any expression off his face like that? He put the muffler on quickly, grateful that he could hide at least part of his expression.
“Now the main point of camouflage paint is to break up the shapes of the face to make them harder to pick out. Can anyone tell me what the most important feature to disguise is?”
“The eyes!” Someone called out.
“Correct! Do you have much experience wearing eye makeup private?” The soldiers all laughed and Jonghyun shifted guiltily, glad that he wasn’t expected to answer that one.
“Now if you all watch the captain…”
Kibum dipped two fingers into the white paint tin and one into the black. Jonghyun stopped himself before he started remembering all the places those fingers had been. “Close your eyes” he murmured in his lowest voice. Jonghyun cursed himself for finding this arousing, damn pavlovian response, he couldn’t help it so he just shut his eyes and bit his lip under the muffler. Kibum wiped his fingers diagonally down over his eye, Jjong could sense that the sadistic bastard was enjoying this and when he dared looked again he could see that he was right. Kibum looked really pleased with himself.
“… As you can see the lines break up the black and white of the pupil, making it harder to recognize form a distance…”
The painting didn’t stop there. The captain was obviously quite an artist and he set about covering Jonghyun’s face in criss-crossing lines of paint, tongue sticking cutely out from the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Jjong didn’t know how he stayed sane anymore.
*
After Jonghyun’s ordeal was over the men were all ordered out to practice on each other. He didn’t know whether going through the stress of Kibum touching him on stage was worth not having to let one of the other privates attack his face… he’d made a right mess of Minho’s himself. Painting was obviously harder than Kibum had made it look, everyone seemed to agree on that.
“Don’t look so sour Jjong. At least you’re not washing it out of your ears!” Said Youngbin from across the room. “Hey Taemin… How did you even get paint in my ears?” Taemin shrugged and continued wiping his own off.
“Yeah you had it easy Jjong. Capt Kibs is obviously a true artist!”
“Funny, it didn’t feel like I was having an easy time, I’d rather have one of you idiots daub all over my face than Puss in Boots up there.”
Everyone snorted. “You looked fucking terrified though, are you scared of the captain or did you get stage fright?”
“-Bullshit, Jjonggie has a crush~”
“I do not!” Jonghyun was getting more and more fidgety. This whole situation was horribly familiar and he was having flashbacks of times spent deflecting accusations in the school changing rooms. He was just waiting for that terrible moment when someone would start to take all of the banter seriously and he’d start having to come up with excuses…
“Christ you resemble a kicked puppy. No wonder you were scared that Captain Hissy would try to claw your eyes out!”
“Hey! quit talking shit about the officers!” Minho called, “The captain might hiss a bit, but as far as I know he isn’t into eye gouging… Besides Jonghyun, what I really want to know is how your sexy noona is doing?”
Thank god for Minhos…. even if Jjong did bitterly regret showing them his sister’s picture. Minho hadn’t shut up about how pretty she was since.
“I’m not putting up with this! My face is clean and now my ears will be. If anyone wants me I’ll be phoning my noona, who, by the way, is out of your league Choi Minho.”
Jonghyun left followed by his squad’s laughter. He really did consider them as his friends, but he didn’t want to test just how far that friendship went. People could be so judgmental, and in this case everyone would probably be happier not knowing the truth. He knew exactly how it’d go… they’d probably all say it was fine… but that it wasn’t something that they wanted to hear about and he better not look at any of them like that. He didn’t want to have to have that conversation again.
*
Jonghyun wasn’t actually going anywhere near the phones. Instead he exited the barracks and made a beeline for the officers’ quarters. Whilst they’d been on stage Kibum had managed to slip a note into his pocket that said to meet him in his room after the exercise was over. Jonghyun had never been in the officers’ building before but the note had said that Kibum’s room was just left of the entrance and that the best way to get in was to act like he was supposed to be there. So that was what he was going to attempt to do.
Jonghyun marched straight in, feigning confidence. He noticed, despite his nerves, that the officers had a much nicer barracks than he did and knocked confidently on the door labeled ‘Capt. Kim Kibum.’
“Message for Captain Kim.”
“Enter-”
As soon as he was in Kibum pounced on him, pinning him back against the door and capturing his lips. After a few seconds he noticed that Jonghyun wasn’t kissing back.
“Jjong?” He asked, sounding concerned. “What’s wrong? I almost thought I’d grabbed the wrong private for a second there.”
Jjong looked at him balefully and went to sit down on the bed. “That wasn’t a bad pun was it?”
“Not intentionally.” Kibum sat down next to him and put an arm round him, which Jonghyun shrugged off. For some reason he didn’t want to be comforted. “Seriously, what’s wrong? Is this about earlier?”
Jjong made a non-committal reply. It might have been about earlier, but earlier was hardly the captain’s fault. In fact if anyone could relate to him now it was probably Kibum.
“Minho knows about us right?”
“Yes, and Onew too… Is that a problem?” Kibum sounded sympathetic.
“No… I don’t know why I assumed he didn’t… He never treated me any differently. I thought he might have judged me.”
“He wouldn’t have. It’s not what he’s like.” He leant back to lean on his elbows. “That’s one reason why we became friends.”
Jjong rolled over to look at the captain. “Tell me about it.” Kibum looked confused, “I mean about you and Minho at school.”
“I thought you were the one with the problems?” He tried to deflect.
“I want to hear about someone else’s… please?”
“Hmph. Alright whatever.” Jonghyun was mildly surprised that Kibum had agreed. But he wanted to know. “Well you may have trouble believing this, but I was a bit of a rebellious teenager.”
Jonghyun raised an eyebrow and looked him up and down, “Nooo, you don’t say.”
“OK, you might not have trouble believing it. But you also have a privileged insight.” the captain added smugly, settling down. “-Anyway. When I was at school I showed out a bit… Minho was my oldest friend and the only guy left who’d have anything to do with me. I was loud, abrasive, sparkly-“
“Sparkly?” Jjong could kind of see it.
“Stop interrupting.” Kibum pushed him playfully on the shoulder, grinning a bit as he contemplated his former self. “…I wanted to be an idol.” He said wistfully.
“A WHAT!? HAHA! No? That’s hilarious.”
“Hey! This is serious to me!”
“OK, OK, I’m sorry…”
“Good... SO, I almost became an idol. DON’T you dare look so skeptical? I was actually accepted into SM Entertainment. Yes, you better be impressed.” Jonghyun was. “Minho and I snuck out one day without telling our parents and took the bus to the audition. We both got accepted pretty easily but when I told my parents they wouldn’t have it. My Dad flipped out, he said only queers were idols, he said it was an embarrassment, that I could never do it, that I didn’t have any talent anyway, that I had to join the family business, that he’d disown me if I left-“ Jonghyun was shocked, he didn’t know what to say. Kibum’s story was so sad, but he was repeating it with so little emotion.
“Business?” He asked, confused. “The other’s said that your grandfather was General Kisun?”
“My mother’s father- I’m getting to that.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Kibum continued. “My father’s business is something to do with farm machinery… I don’t understand it and I want nothing to do with it.” He made a face. “But, my grandfather had always made him feel really inadequate, and I knew that if I said I wanted to join the army he couldn’t say anything against it… So that’s what I did.”
“So you swapped being an idol, for being an officer… just to spite your father?”
“Well, maybe. But it’s not that different if you think about it. No freedom, synchronized routines, shiny outfits...” Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he quite got it. “Besides… I’m not staying here forever. Once I’ve proved myself here I’ll get transferred back to Seoul. Then I’ll get a diplomatic job, something where I can live abroad, somewhere glamorous, I has to be glamorous, an embassy in America or Europe. That’s what I want. To go somewhere else.” Ah, that made more sense to Jonghyun. Kibum just wanted to be free. He could relate to that.
Kibum had been playing idly with Jonghyun’s sleeves as he recounted his story, running his fingers unconsciously up and down the creases. Jjong felt strangely closer to him now, so it felt like the most natural thing in the world to lean over and kiss him. Kibum closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss, letting Jjong’s tongue slip between his lips. They’d never been so unhurried before, there’d always been somewhere else they’d had to be or a risk they’d be interrupted.
Kibum crawled over him, pushing him into the mattress, his dog-tags tickling Jonghyun’s nose. Jjong looked at them cross-eyed and felt sad for what they represented.
“Why is there a key on your dog-tags?” he’d noticed it before, but he’d never thought to ask.
“Oh… you’ll think I‘m silly…”
“I think we’re past that.” Jonghyun teased, taking Kibum’s hand to kiss his knuckles. He got slapped on the chest for his trouble.
“Alright nosey, it’s the key to my diary.”
“And you still keep it?”
“I still don’t want anyone reading it. It has all my secrets.”
Well that was fair enough, although Jonghyun wondered how many of those secrets he had now as he carefully thumbed though the tags above him reading them.
“Is this really freedom though Bum?”
“It’s as close as I can get.” Jonghyun thought that was so sad that he had to pull the captain down by the chains to kiss him. When Kibum pulled back he looked a little teary.
“I’ve got to go-“ Jonghyun said.
“Don’t leave-“ The captain whined.
“-they’ll miss me.”
“-I’ll miss you more. Fuck dinner, you were gone five days. Minho will make up an excuse for you”
Where did this neediness come from all of a sudden? “We can’t make him cover for us all the time.”
“He bloody well can!” Kibum exploded. “Do you know how much action he gets on a regular basis with that face of his? He can do this for me, even if he won’t do it for you!” He started to laugh. Jjong didn’t know whether he was having a breakdown, or genuinely finding something funny.
“Kibum? Are you ok?”
“Of course I’m not fucking ok! You’re trying to get out of fucking me so you can have dinner with stupid fucking Minho!”
Jjong was relieved that Kibum was alright… he decided to play along anyway, maybe he’d been projecting a little too much. “You sound jealous~ Did all of the pretty girls use to throw you over for Minho? Or did pretty Minho throw you over for all the girls?”
“The second. But Minho and I are meant to be! You are just a silly short-ass distraction… I deserve a film star!”
“But size doesn’t matter!” Said Jjong. Kibum blinked innocently. He’d stolen that look from Private Taemin, Jonghyun was sure of it. “AND all of Minho’s films are crap anyway!” He added just to make a point.
Kibum laughed again. “Yes!” he threw back his head exaggeratedly. “That’s what I like to hear! Talk dirty to me baby!”
Jonghyun chuckled. This was fun even if it was a little scary. “His face is too small and when he kisses actresses he looks constipated…”
“Yeah that’s the good stuff! More!” Kibum was grinding shamelessly on him now. Jonghyun wasn’t sure if it was wrong that he was actually finding this arousing. Apparently is possessive side was a slut for melodrama.
Jjong stilled Kibum’s hips and whispered in his ear in his best gravelly voice… “He looks like a tree-frog.”
The captain exploded into giggles, putting his hands on either side of Jjong’s face, kissing him so hard they overbalanced back onto the mattress. “Take me!”
Well that settled the dinner argument. Jonghyun rolled them and pinned Kibum’s wrists together. “Just play along baby and I’ll make you a star-“
“OK you can stop being lame now.”
Jonghyun ignored him and started to strip off his shirt. Kibum cooed and reached out to touch with his freed hands, but he was firmly stopped.
“Nope, wrists together baby.”
“Shan’t” He argued petulantly, not pleased at being denied the chance to touch the private.
“Shall.” Jjong growled, with an affectionate kiss, as he gathered his shirt together to bind the captain to the iron bed frame. Kibum wriggled experimentally but didn’t protest further. “Good boy.”
Jonghyun then went about systematically ridding the captain of his own uniform, pausing to leer at his hairless legs as they were revealed. Kibum had shaved for him. For him? The thought went straight to his cock as he palmed his smooth thighs. Kibum must have done it in the shower, waiting for him to come back. Had that excited him? Did he touch himself after, thinking about him… them together just like they were now?
“Your legs are so pretty.”
Kibum looked pleased with himself, of course he’d thought about it. He knew exactly how delicious he looked right now, splayed out on the bed like an offering, a subtle flush blooming across his skin. To show his appreciation for the effort Jonghyun sunk his teeth into the captain’s soft, inner thigh.
“Ouch!” He squeaked. “Bastard, quit gnawing me and do something productive” He attempted thwack Jjong on the side of the head playfully, but the private smoothly caught hold of his flailing leg and hitched it over his shoulder. Kibum would be regretting that.
“Yes sir~”
Jonghyun caught his captain’s eye, before, very deliberately, leaning down to draw his tongue over his pretty pink hole.
“Fuck! Jjong!” Kibum mewled, pushing himself onto Jonghyun, wantonly searching for more. Jjong happily cooperated, kissing and licking at the puckered entrance as Kibum writhed and panted above him.
“Do you like that baby? Do you like feeling my wet tongue on your ass? Will you open for me?” He said, nipping at his creamy thigh.
Kibum stared down at him through half lidded eyes, his chest rising and falling and his hair awry, dampened with sweat, wrists still trapped above him. “Yes-” His lips were swollen where he’d bitten them, Jonghyun couldn’t resist placing a filthy kiss there.
“Beg me-”
Kibum answered him by crooking his leg and pushing him back down. Jonghyun merely shrugged and went to work, pushing through the tight ring of muscle to lap at his flexible captain’s insides, making him cry out loud and curl his toes in the sheets.
Finally Jonghyun pulled away from the trembling entrance. He nosed Kibum’s balls before gently pulling one of them into his mouth.
“Hngggg- Jjonnnggg~“
Jonghyun continued, licking a slow, tortuous, line to the leaking head of the captain’s length, tasting the precome, and further, peppering butterfly kisses up his torso, his chest, his neck, along his jaw, until he reached his lips to kiss them too. Kibum melted into it, taking him back into his mouth without hesitation and Jjong’s knees threatened to collapse as the captain sucked on his tongue, teasing it with his teeth.
“You ready?” Jjong asked shakily, grasping himself and watching Kibum’s hole needily twitch, eager to take him in as he pressed the weeping head of his cock against it.
“Yes-” Kibum melted as he took Jjong in, wetness glistening on his lips and eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones. He wrapped his legs around Jonghyun’s hips to draw him deeper, right to where he needed him. “-Jjong… I want to be able to feel it tomorrow.”
He was only too happy to oblige.
*
They were resting, wrung out in the afterglow. Hopefully Minho could make him up an excuse good enough to cover such a long time. Even if he couldn’t Jonghyun thought this might be worth the dismissal. But, as content as he was, he really had to leave now before lights-out. Still, looking at a soft, naked and fucked-out Kibum he really didn’t want to…
“Hey Bummie-“
“Hm?” he hummed drowsily. Fingering his own damp hair.
“I really do have to go now.”
“Ugh,” Kibum groused. “fuck me then leave. Just like all the others.”
“I hope you’re kid-“ Began Jonghyun, until doubt crept in. “… are you kidding?”
The captain looked at him incredulously. “Jjong please don’t tell me that I’m your first, we’ve all had others.”
“Yeah… but you said that you’d had other ‘arrangements’ on base… Spill.”
“None of your business. Get lost.” He said, turning over.
“No tell me.” Jjong asked, pinching at Kibum’s sides to tickle him. “I want to know who to glare at.”
Kibum batted him off. “No one that’s still here. Drop it.”
“Do you really fancy Minho?”
Kibum grinned at him roguishly. “No I fancy this asshole private called Jonghyun. Happy?”
He noticed that the hand which had batted him was now tracing sweat droplets idly along his chest… “Having fun there?”
“Hmm?...” Kibum looked innocently back at his face. ”…You’re just really muscular...”
“Kibum, you’re a professional soldier. You see muscular men every day.” Said Jonghyun, disentangling himself from the captain reluctantly and getting up.
“Abs that you can sneak a quick peak at are not as fun as one’s you’re allowed to touch…” Kibum replied, ogling him openly as he stretched himself and reached for his, now badly stretched, shirt. “Besides they match your pretty face.” He added, slapping Jjong on the ass.
“Ah Kibum.” Said General Park as the captain entered his room. “There’s an order come through for a party to go and check out the transmitter on Mt. Gamsin.”
Kibum looked at him, puzzled. Mt. Gamsin was the highest peak in their patrol area, and not an easy climb, especially not in the winter. “Is there a problem with it sir? We won’t be able to reach it for a couple of weeks yet.”
“Apparently hasn’t been reporting, they think the snow or a goat or something might have damaged it. I need you to go check it out as soon as you’re able. Just take a platoon and a few technicians. Shouldn’t be too taxing, one day in, a couple back.”
“Yes sir, very good sir.”
“Good.” Although apparently perfectly satisfied with Kibum’s answer, the general peered over his papers to scrutinize him more closely. “…Are you alright captain? You seem out of sorts.” He asked.
“Not at all sir” Kibum didn’t want the general taking too much of an interest in his affairs… for obvious reasons. Still, there might be something to be gained from mixing business and pleasure this time. Minho was due to be discharged in a couple of weeks… “Do I have a free hand in choosing the men?”
“Yes, yes of course my boy. Probably a good opportunity of take a few of the greener ones though. Short exercise, not too taxing. Take Lieutenant Soowook as well, that boy’s an idiot, need toughening up if you ask me.”
“Yes sir. Just what I was thinking too sir.” Kibum bluffed, although to be fair, bringing Minho meant bringing Jonghyun and Taemin, and they were yet to come out on a real exercise.
“Good, good...” Nodded the general. “Say, speaking of the men, I read your report.”
“Sir? What did you make of it?“ Kibum was suddenly a little nervous. He wasn’t at all scared of the General, but he’d never liked being told that his work was anything less than perfect.
“It was very… um… satisfactory. Should go down well.”
There was clearly something wrong. “I’m glad sir.”
The general took off his glasses and sighed. “You ought to be careful.”
“Sorry sir, I don’t follow.”
The general continued. “The military is essentially a conservative institution captain. You know this - and yet you insist on pointing out things which could be changed.”
Kibum agreed, he did know this, but he was surprised by the general’s concern. “Sir, I know I might have ruffled some feathers… but I didn’t make trouble for anyone other than myself.”
“True, true. But you don’t want to be marked out as a progressive.” Park looked tired then, and Kibum wondered what might have happened to him in the past. He was an old man, he must have spent his whole life in the military, yet he still only had one star on his epaulettes. “You have an establishment name; you don’t want to be spoiling your chances with an outsider’s reputation.”
“With all due respec-“
“I only say this because I want you to do well Kibum. There are lots of people who want you to do well. I can see that you have ambition, AND skill… but sometimes you lack tact.”
“Tact sir. I’m afraid I have to disagree-“
The general cut him off. “See that is exactly it.”
“Ah… yes sir, I see your point sir.”
“Keep your head down captain. Play by our rules for now… one day you’ll be in a position to make your own.”
Kibum saluted smartly and left the general’s office with plenty to think about.
Chapter 8
The spring air was surprisingly warm on Mount Gamsin and Jonghyun could actually feel himself beginning to overheat as he climbed. He and the platoon were carefully picking their way up an exposed, stony scree on eastern slope, catching the last of the morning sun. The rocks beneath his feet were loose with only stringy little plants to hold them in position and tiny brown lizards skittered underneath his feet. Jjong was rather worried for them, each time he put his foot down they only scattered a split-second before it landed and every now and again someone in the company would stumble and trigger a little rock-slide, which, to the lizards, must have seemed catastrophically large.
Jjong looked behind him towards the DMZ. He couldn’t make out the wire fence from up here, but he could see the bare strip of land beyond it, marking the beginning of the North. They’d started the day well before dawn, driving out on the bumpy gravel road to Watchtower 34, where they’d briefly greeted the weary looking guards and then struck out, up the mountain to check out some malfunctioning observation mast or something. They were to climb to the top, make camp for a couple of nights, and then climb down the other side to be picked up from the next watchtower.
Really Jonghyun didn’t care; he hadn’t listened very closely to the official briefing, having already heard it in person from the captain. The important points were that a: he didn’t have a choice and b¬: it was guaranteed to be more fun that staying at the base. Jjong had then asked if it was more fun than staying in Kibum’s bed, and did he get to fuck the captain under the stars? He’d been hit with a pillow and told that he was degenerate and tacky and that he wasn’t coming along because Kibum wanted him there, but because Kibum wanted to spend time with Minho before he left. Jonghyun, hopelessly biased, thought that was adorable and honestly he could empathize. He really wasn’t keen to see the sergeant leave either, but all good things had to come to an end sometime. Hopefully one of others in the squadron, probably Dongmin, would be promoted up to sergeant, rather than someone new being drafted in to take command.
Jonghyun shook his head to try to clear thoughts of the uncertain future from his mind; he didn’t want to get onto the wrong train of thought. Instead he turned his attention to Onew and Taemin, who were walking just in front of him. The younger looking ready to flee…
“Don’t make that face Taemin, it’s only a little centipede!”
“It’s creepy.” Replied the private.
“Exactly! Isn’t it brilliant?!” Said Onew, brandishing the poor invertebrate at him.
“No. It’s creatures like that which make me question my faith in a benevolent God.” Taemin was looking at Onew as if he were a dangerous madman. “Don’t you dare bring it any nearer!”
“But Minnie~ The centipede is a noble and important creature. Traditional medicine has used it for centuries to heal seizures and headaches and tetanus and-“
“Yeah well traditional medicine is bunk!”
Onew had his best ‘earnest doctor’ face on. “Not necessarily. Researchers frequently look to traditional cures for new ideas. This centipede would probably be very beneficial to your health… actually you’re looking a little peaky-“
“Don’t you fuckin-“
“Private! I suggest that you stop cursing at your senior officer… Just let him feed you the damn bug!” Chimed in Minho from further up the slope where he was walking alongside the captain.
Taemin looked like he was going to be physically sick.
“Don’t scare him!” Onew called back. “I’ll have to treat him for trauma!”
“Which bug cures trauma?” Asked Minho helpfully.
“None. But I could get him high enough to forget all about it.”
There was a pause in the laughter. “Wait - seriously?”
“Mmmhmm…”
Damn. Jinki, a man of hidden depths. Jonghyun was growing very fond of him though. He smiled as he watched the doctor gently set the bug down and wave goodbye to it.
*
They’d reached the top of the scree and were picking their way through a wooded plateau. It was much colder now that they were out direct sunlight and Jjong could feel the chill in the air again. The ground was still rocky, but running with melt water from the now ex-snowcap and strange, stringy trees covered the path, bleached white and windblown. They followed the vague path of the stream until they reached its source, a spring bubbling out the base of a high cliff and Jonghyun could tell just by the feel of the place that people had stayed there many times before.
“Ok men.” Began Kibum. “Here’s base camp. Now who volunteers to help set it up?”
Several hands shot into the air immediately, all the more experienced ones.
“Why are you so keen?” Jjong nudged Dongmin, who was standing next to him.
“Because in 20 minutes we’ll be done setting up and relaxing, whereas you will just be reaching the summit… Not that you should feel bad, there’s a cracking view up from up there-“
Kibum continued, pretending that he couldn’t see Jonghyun and Dongmin being undisciplined. “Everyone else drop your packs, you won’t be needing them, and follow me.”
“Yes sir!”
*
The final section of the climb, from the camp to the top, was nothing like the rest of the way had been. The mountain’s peak was formed of a jagged, granite outcrop, with snow still lying in between the rocks where the sun couldn’t reach. After climbing up the side of the cliff they weaved and squeezed themselves through a maze of shrubs and boulders until they suddenly emerged out, up on the summit. Jjong gasped at the view of the endless, deserted mountains and at the cold breeze billowing around his ears.
Whilst the technicians knelt down to see to the transmitter Jonghyun looked about. The top of the mountain was really only a large, flat stone. The defective transmitter was in the center, just a metal box with an aerial and some dishes, and next to it was an old marker carved with the mountain’s name. Gamsin meant ‘guardian’, that was appropriate… but the marker was much older than the partition, maybe the mountain used to guard something else.
The other men had gathered around the far side of the platform and some were looking out to the North. Jiong went to see what was so interesting.
“Here Jonghyun, look at this.” Said Yongbin, passing him his binoculars. “Look at those guys over there!” He said, pointing to the first North Korean soldiers that Jjong had ever laid eyes on. The group were too far away to focus on properly, but the blurry men seemed completely unremarkable, just standing around by their watchtower, in the way that all bored soldiers do. Jjong tried to pass the glasses onto Taemin so that he could look, but got no response. Taemin’s eyes were fixed firmly downwards over the sharp drop, transfixed by a waterfall tumbling down below them. Jjong couldn’t do that, it made his knees feel funny, so he tore his gaze away and looked around for the captain.
Kibum was near where they had come up from, looking a little pale, so Jonghyun went to sit by him.
“Are you scared of heights Bum?” he asked, half teasing, nudging him with his shoulder.
“Watch it private.”
Jjong recoiled. He hadn’t heard that tone in Kibum’s voice in a long time. He didn’t know how to feel all of a sudden.
“Sorry sir.” He muttered, downcast, as the atmosphere between them grew increasingly awkward. Had he overstepped the line?... No one was paying any attention to them, Soowook and the platoon were taking observation notes on the North, the technicians were preoccupied by the transmitter…
Kibum began to relax a little… he must have seen it too. But he was still a stiff distance from Jonghyun that felt unnatural and Jjong couldn’t bear the feeling of rejection, so he inched his hand out to rest over the captain’s and smiled to himself as it was gripped apologetically.
“Hey! Jjong!” Jonghyun jumped 5 feet into the air at the others’ call. “What are you doing back there with the Captain?” Jjong felt his life flash before his eyes “Are you scared of heights too?” Or maybe not.
“We’d understand if you were mate, it’s not like you’re used to being far off the ground” Said some other cheeky asshole.
“For fuck’s sake! I’m a perfectly average height!”
“Whatever, come over here and look at this… Sir, you better come and see this too”
Jjong and Kibum dusted themselves off and got up to see what all of the fuss was about, Jonghyun had to resist the urge to place a comforting hand on the captain’s back.
“Look… the soldiers over there, they’ve spotted us.”
“You got me over here for that? Of course they’ve spotted us… They’re watchmen… I give up…” Grumbled Kibum, turning back to the ‘safe’ side. “Some people, I swear- and how are you two getting on?” He questioned the techies snappishly.
“We can’t seem to get into it sir. It’s gotten jammed. I think we’ll need to come back in the morning with a full toolkit.
Kibum nodded. “Yes, very good. Alright then, if you’ve all finished we’ll go down for dinner.”
And so they went, picking their way inelegantly back down to the camp.
*
Night fell and the platoon huddled themselves around the fire. They didn’t strictly need it. They had perfectly warm sleeping bags in the tent and their rations were the black-magic kind that heated themselves when you pulled the packet open. But someone had built the fire whilst waiting around earlier and Kibum had huffily agreed that it’d be a waste not to light it. Jjong was grateful, finding the crackling light of the flames soothing.
“So did you see anything interesting up the top?” Onew asked between mouthfuls of rice.
“If you were interested then you should have come up yourself lazy.” Replied the captain.
“I’ll come up tomorrow.” He grinned back.
Kibum was not impressed. “Come? No we rank equally, you’ll go and be supervisor tomorrow, whilst I stay down here.” He and Jinki eyed each other having some kind of private communication.
Lieutenant Soowook butted in, “That’s not strictly protocol sir-“ and was duly ignored.
“- OK then. You stay down here, and I’ll go up… But I’ll be looking for leopards not giving practical advice on fixing antenna.”
“… You know nothing about antenna anyway…” Mumbled Kibum, semi-exasperated.
“Hold on Jinki… sorry, Sir… But Leopards?” Asked Jonghyun, intrigued.
“Yeah, leopards.” He nodded, shoveling in more rice. “Apparently, because of the DMZ, there are so few people round here that they’ve started coming back.”
“Yeah coming back to pull you out of your sleeping bag and eat you!” Joked private Seungdae.
“Shut the fuck up!” Everyone threw their empty ration packets at him, and he had roll away to shield himself.
“Hey!” Said Taemin, “We should tell scary stories.”
“Hell no.” Kibum shut him down.
“Ohhh don’t be a party-pooper” Moaned Minho.
“No.”
“I think that’s a great idea Taemin.” The doctor agreed. “…And seeing as I and Kibum rank equally…” He grinned mischievously, “I say that we should.”
Everyone cheered and Kibum gave in. “OK, but no zombies or axe murderers.”
“I have an appropriate one about a leopard.” Minho suggested helpfully.
“OR those.”
“Yes, the one with the leopard please Sergeant!” said Onew. “Don’t look like that captain, no leopard would ever come near us… and if it did… well there are 20 of us and we all have guns.”
Minho looked to Kibum for agreement, which he apparently got because he began in his best ‘sinister’ voice, holding a torch under his chin to cast creepy shadows and wiggling his fingers: “~THE LEOPARD!~”
“You are such a drama queen, get on with it.”
Jjong snorted, because the irony of that statement coming from Kibum was something else.
“Ahem… Once upon a time, long, long ago there lived a hunter-“
“-This isn’t supposed to be a fucking fairytale!”
“As I was saying… there lived a hunter, NOT in a far away land, but around here… In the past…” Minho looked around for any other potential hecklers. “The hunter was a poor man, living off what he could shoot with his own bow and arrow in the high mountains. One day he was in the mountains stalking a deer, and he came across a terrible leopard who was doing the same thing. He was going to leave it be, knowing that it is bad luck to shoot a leopard in the back, but the leopard heard him coming and attacked him. However the brave hunter managed shoot the leopard as it ran towards him and he didn’t die that day…”
“Minho this isn’t scary!”
“Patience Taemin, I’m still just setting the scene… Anyway, the hunter had a dead leopard and no deer, but he shrugged and decided to make the best of the situation, so he took the leopard’s fur and wore it home. When he got to town everyone he met admired the beautiful fur, saying that he was brave to have killed such a fearsome beast, and the hunter grew proud. He sold the fur to a merchant for 20 times what a deer carcass was worth, and he went back to his house a happy man... That night his wife told him that there was a strange spot on his back, but he ignored her, because he could not see the spot and she was probably just being paranoid.
The hunter and his family lived off the money from the leopard’s skin for weeks, but soon the hunter had to go back up the mountain to hunt for deer again. This time, once more, he saw a leopard, but this time he shot the creature without thinking twice, because he knew now how much its skin was worth. He took the leopard’s fur back to the town, and this time he sold it for 30 times the price of a deer. That night his wife told him that he had grown another spot on his back.
“OoooOOOooooo”
“Shh!…. As time went on the deer hunter became a leopard hunter, learning their ways and habits and chasing them further and further into the mountains. He also grew rich and disdainful towards the other hunters and taught only his son how to hunt the leopards like he did.
One day the hunter and his son were camping far out in the mountains. There were so few leopards left near their village that they had to walk for days to find their prey. The son was sitting alone by the campfire, just like we are now, whilst his father was off in the bushes somewhere relieving himself….” Minho paused so that the men could snigger, predictably. “ Then out of the darkness came a terrible leopard! With rolling eyes and piercing claws. And the son killed it dead with one shot, just like his father had done with the first leopard years before. “Father” cried the son “Father? Where are you? I have killed my first leopard. Are you proud of me?” But the father didn’t answer and the boy was worried. He looked around, but he had no light to see with. “Father!” He called again and again, but no answer came. What if the leopard had killed his father just before he’d killed it? The boy could do nothing, so he went back to the fire, kicking the corpse of the terrible leopard.
The next morning his father still hadn’t returned and the boy went out to search for him. He searched all day and he still could not find him, he searched all the next day and he still couldn’t find him, and the next day and the next. Every day he searched and every night he came back to the camp to kick the corpse of the terrible leopard, because there was no doubt in his mind now that it was the leopard who had killed him. Eventually the son had to give up. He’d never been taught how to hunt for food and he couldn’t remain on the mountain any longer.
He looked at the dead leopard and decided to take it’s skin. He wanted the skin of the beast that had killed his father, so he got out his knife and began to cut it away… but as he cut he noticed something strange, the flesh beneath the skin was not that of a cat… it was that of an old man…”
“…. Well that was disgusting.”
“-WTF CHOI?!”
“-OH god I’m never going to sleep now.”
“-That wasn’t even scary it was just gross!”
Minho just laughed at the uproar he’d caused.
“-Your laugh is scarier than whatever the fuck that was-“
Chapter 9
Jonghyun couldn’t get to sleep. Not because of Minho’s stupid story… Taemin had followed it with one far more twisted anyway… but because he was cold, and the nocturnal mountain creatures were noisy… and because Minho was snoring again. He sighed and decided that in lieu of sleep he might as well go and bother Kibum, whose shift on guard duty it was. He got up as quietly as he could and slipped out of the big, shared tent to sneak up on the oblivious captain.
“YAhh! fuck Jonghyun I almost stabbed you. Never fucking do that gain, Jesus Christ.”
“Sorry. I can’t sleep.”
“Go try.” Replied the pissed off captain, pointing at the tent.
“I can’t.” Jjong insisted, taking captive Kibum’s outstretched fingers to play with. “I have insomnia anyway and out here I can’t take anything for it.”
“Oh.” Kibum paused, ashamed. “I’m sorry I didn’t know.”
“Don’t worry Bum, you couldn’t have known, I’ve never mentioned it and we’ve never slept together.”
Kibum drew away from him and looked down at his feet to avoid looking him in the face. “I wish we could… I’m sorry Jonghyun… that we can’t…”
The captain said that so sincerely that Jonghyun couldn’t resist his impulse to lean over and kiss him. He was foiled though by Kibum abruptly springing into action, grabbing his hand and pulling him up.
“What’s this?”
“Shh, follow me,” He hushed him, checking around for the other guard, all solemnity forgotten. “I have something to show you-“
Jjong allowed himself to be pulled across the stream and around the far side of the cliff. The path was a bit overgrown and the bushes pulled at his legs and sprang back to thwack him in the face after Kibum had parted them to make his own way though. “Ouch!”
Kibum stopped dead and turned around. “Close your eyes.” He ordered.
Jonghyun rolled them first, but did as the captain said after a stern look, and Kibum took his hand and led him on. Jjong could hear the thundering of falling water nearby.
They came to a stop where the noise was even louder and he could feel flecks of cold water landing on his cheeks like little kisses. He knew where they must be. “Ok you can open them now.”
Kibum was right to sound pleased with himself. Jonghyun gaped… it was beautiful. They were at the base of the waterfall he’d seen from above earlier, the moonlight glinting off the falling water as it gathered in a silver pool, before cascading again off another drop, further down into the darkness.
“Do you like it?” The captain asked, eager for approval.
“Of course I like it...” Jjong giggled. “…it’s almost as pretty in the moonlight as you are!”
“You shameless, cheesy bastard!”
“You take me to a secluded, moonlit waterfall… and you call me cheesy?” Jonghyun said reasonably.
“Yes.” Kibum put his hands on his hips. “I took you here because I knew that your cheesy self would like it.”
“…Well you were right.” Said Jonghyun, touched.
“Good.” There was a pause whilst they looked each other up and down, neither wiling to make the first move for some reason. There was usually no holding them back from each other, but Kibum’s admission that he had done something for Jonghyun was… unusual.
“Are you about to tell me that you love me?~” Jjong teased.
“No. Who do you think I am? I’d never desert my post just to tell a private that I loved them…” Jjong felt his heart sink for no particular reason. “…I’m about to tell you to get on your knees.” The captain smirked, and all was forgiven.
“HAHAHHaha Bummie no~”
“Shhh, not so loud” Said Kibum, fumbling to cover Jonghyun’s mouth with his hands.
Jjong relapsed into giggles again as the captain tried to grapple with him, sweeping him up by his narrow waist and nuzzling his ear. “No one’s going to hear anything from all the way out here, not over the water.” He said, biting on it and running his hands down to squeeze Kibum’s butt.
“Well that was part of my evil plan” Kibum replied, grinding into Jonghyun and pushing him up against the cliff face.
“So can I make a noise?”
Kibum kissed him firmly as a reply, shutting him up. “No” He whispered before licking along the seam of Jjong’s lips to get them to open. They kissed silently for a couple of minutes. The sounds of soft panting and spray taking Jjong back to their first time in the shower. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but in reality it was just over 4 months. How much had changed since then. Everything, everything and nothing… How much he wanted the man who was currently nipping along his jaw was exactly the same-
“-Wait what was that?” Kibum stopped, suddenly alert, hands halfway into Jonghyun’s pants.
“What was what babe?” Jjong asked, annoyed that he’d stopped there. Still, he listened.
There was a sharp cracking noise and the sound of muffled voices “…That.” Said Kibum.
“Shit. I don’t know. It didn’t sound right at all. “Sounds like it’s coming from below us…”
“You look.” Kibum prodded him forwards.
Now was not the time the officer to be scared of heights, but Jonghyun obeyed anyway, crawling on hands and knees to the edge and peering down.
“What’s there?” Asked the captain.
“I can see lights in the bushes.”
“-Like torches?”
“Yes like torches,” Jjong replied.
Kibum joined him, settling down by his side to look too. Scattered phrases drifted up to them from below. “Fuck. Those are soldiers.”
“But they’re not us….” They looked at each other for a shocked second and then jolted up, racing back along the path together. Jonghyun could feel his heart racing a mile a minute as they rounded the cliff and careered back to the campsite.
“WHO GOES THERE? State your names!” One of the privates on watch, Jihyung, shouted out as they whistled past.
“Put your gun down idiot.” Ordered Kibum in a hushed tone, rounding on him.
“-Oh, sorry sir- What are you doing out here anyway?“
“Mind your own fucking business and don’t question me again.” Kibum spat at the terrified looking boy. “We have a situation downhill, we need to wake up the platoon. GO!”
The three of them hurried into the tent to wake up the others, most of whom seemed to already be stirring from the commotion outside, blinking wearily. Kibum was in full on command mode, and for the first time Jonghyun was impressed by it, rather than put off. He seemed suddenly calm and powerful and Jjong felt a little ashamed for having thought of him more as a rich kid just playing soldiers before. He clearly knew what he was doing.
“Right men.” He began the briefing. “We are faced with an enemy force advancing from below. Private Kim and I observed approximately 20 men, perhaps more, ascending the northern slope-“
One of the men nudged Jihyung to ask if he knew why the captain and Jonghyun had been out together anyway. Jinhyung just shook his head and Kibum let it pass without comment, ignoring them. The rest of the men were still shocked into silence, not knowing what to make of being woken up, on camp, in the middle of the night and told to scramble.
“- We have about an hour, hour and a half maximum until they make it to the top of the scree.”
“Sir, is this a training exercise?” Someone asked, the undisguised quiver in their voice actually making Jonghyun more nervous than anything that had happened so far.
“No private. Unfortunately this is not a drill…” The captain’s sharp eyes scanned the tent, searching for anyone else who might be about to interrupt him, but the rest were all standing in dumb shock, waiting for him to continue. “Right. As I said, we have an hour to prepare. The men we are facing are probably those we observed observing us earlier. I’m assuming that they have a tunnel downhill, probably incorporating the natural cave system. They were also probably the ones who sabotaged the transmitter. Sergeant Jung, do you agree?”
The technician nodded, “Yes sir, that would be possible.”
“These things considered, we must assume that this is a trap. That they either intend to capture or kill us and it is my duty to remind you that it is the policy of the South Korean government that those two are the same thing. We do not know what methods they use to extract information; you will not allow them to hold you as a hostage… is that clear?”
“Yes sir!” Jjong felt queasy. Things had gotten so intense so fast. 20 minutes ago Kibum was kissing him, and now he was telling him, completely seriously, that he might have to kill himself in the near future to avoid being tortured. How could he process this? He felt numbness creeping over him as Kibum went on to explain that they were vulnerable and needed to move uphill.
“We can’t defend this position but we can defend the path to the summit. We’ll set an ambush, and then, and only then we’ll call for help. We can’t use the radio until we are ready for them to know that we’re awake. That means that we’ll be on our own for a bit until reinforcements arrive. But if we plan this right we stand a good chance.”
“Yes sir!”
“Now everyone gather your weapons, essential gear, anything with technical information on it, do it fast and do it quietly.”
“Yes sir!”
“Haetae!”
“HAETAE!”
Chapter 7
“So Jinki, on a scale of one to ten… how stupid is it to sleep with a subordinate” Kibum was in the Officer’s Mess with Onew, fishing for an honest opinion.
“9.” He replied, “Especially if that subordinate is you.”
Kibum pretended to be affronted, he might have been a little, but it was Jinki so he was just teasing. “How dare You! Me sleeping with the former captain had nothing to do with me getting his job! Correlation does not equal causation, you’re a scientist!-”
“So...” Onew stopped him there in a low voice, keen to remind Kibum that this would not be a good conversation to have loudly. “This is about Jonghyun then?”
“Maybe.” Kibum admitted, more quietly.
“I wasn’t aware that any sleeping was involved.”
“Oh stop being pedantic,” He said, slapping the doctor on the forearm. “I’m trying to talk seriously to you... How did you know anyway?”
“You were hardly quiet in the showers” Replied Onew matter-of-factly. “Are you saying that there were more times than that?” He looked genuinely curious.
“Well… too good an opportunity to pass up really.” It really was. He’d needed someone to help with his reports, that Jonghyun was so amenable to other things was just a bonus.
“But you’re having second thoughts?”
“It’s not what you’re thinking… I’m not worried about using him.”
“I’d rather you didn’t for the recordt. I quite like him.”
“See, that’s the problem.” This was going to be painful to admit. He’d made it quite public that he didn’t like the private, and yet…”I think I like him too… I miss him.”
“Wait, where did he go” Onew was always missing the damn point.
“Furlough”
“You can’t be serious? He could only have been gone for 4 days-“ Still not the point.
“3 - and I know it’s stupid, but-“
“I think it’s quite sweet. He’s making an honest man of you.” Jinki grinned at him.
Bastard had got the point finally. “Hardly.” Kibum denied anyway, knowing that he wouldn’t be believed.
“So how did this happen then? Did you fall for the company’s bad boy?”
“No.” Maybe. “He’s loyal, he’s eager, he doesn’t hide things from me, and he’s not really bad… just disobedient.”
“So you’re basically saying he’s a puppy dog?”
“I always wanted a dog…” Jinki side eyed him, hard. “It’s just… The way he looks at me sometimes-“
“You’ll hurt him, he’s too fragile.”
“Hey we’re supposed to be talking about how fragile I am for once!”
“…” Onew seemed unconvinced.
“Don’t look at me like that. Just because you think I ought to be being responsible.”
“You were the one who chose to describe him as a ‘subordinate’”
“Hmph. Maybe.” Kibum admitted. The vulnerabilities that he did have really weren’t relevant to him choosing to fall for a private… Well maybe they were, he hadn’t told JInki the whole truth about why he liked Jonghyun.
Kibum already knew that Jonghyun had a rebellious streak (obviously) but his bravado didn’t seem to mask any insecurity. He had somewhere along the line decided that Jjong was an essentially confident person, which, in a sea of men struggling pathetically to prove their ‘masculinity’, was incredibly attractive. From personal experience the captain knew a man with a sensitive ego when he saw one, and knew to avoid one. Jonghyun, however, seemed to him to possess more than a little innate self-belief.
A few weeks ago Kibum had taken the liberty of looking Kim Jonghyun up properly, not just his official files. Yes he felt a bit guilty, but then again, it was all information freely available on the internet.
Age 17 Jonghyun had left school to join a rock band. They’d promoted by themselves nonstop for 3 years before being picked up by a medium-sized agency. Then they’d gone under the radar for a while, before reemerging completely transformed. The agency had smartened them up, kicked one of them out, and allegedly interfered in their (Jjong’s) songwriting. But it had worked, the band started to get better gigs, articles were written about them and their songs had started to sneak into the weekly charts. Then, seemingly out of the blue, Jonghyun had packed up and left to do his own thing, taking most of the fledgling fanbase with him…
After that nothing happened. The group carried on, quickly gathering new fans to replace the old, and Jonghyun was nowhere to be seen. The fan forums were abuzz with rumors that the agency had blocked him, that he could only play in tiny, private venue. That no one else would have him or speak about him. Kibum was surprised that a small agency could have so much power. Jonghyun must have really pissed them off somehow. Kibum kind of liked the idea.
Onew broke his train of thought… “You know, no matter how much youlike him, you can’t keep him forever.”
“I know.”
Jonghyun was feeling fidgety. The division had been gathered in the small auditorium for a lecture on ‘advanced camouflage’, which would have been totally fine if he wasn’t hyper-aware of being watched from the side of the room.
He and Kibum had been carrying on their affair for about a month. It didn’t really amount to much, a few quickies here and there, a fumble in a cupboard. It’d been even harder than Jjong had anticipated for them to meet in private and it had left him more frustrated than before they had begun this thing. That didn’t mean that they’d seen any less of each other in public though and Jonghyun was losing count of the number of hours he’d spent being tortured by the captain’s gaze prickling the back of his neck. Today Kibum’s attention was extra burdensome.
Jonghyun had arrived back at base that morning from his first furlough. He’d officially been a soldier for 100 days and he’d been rewarded with 5 off to see his loved ones. The problem was that once he’d gotten over the joy and the tears of seeing his mother and sister again, he’d been left thinking about Kibum. He’d wanted so badly to tell them about him… as if he were his boyfriend and he wanted them to approve or something. Of course he knew that they wouldn’t and so he didn’t. Not because Kibum was a man, that had never been a problem before, unless he counted his father - which he didn’t. But Kibum was his commanding officer and that was obviously dumb and he didn’t want to be told that by someone he cared about.
The sergeant major droned on. It was all really pretty obvious, just look like the thing you’re hiding in. Then again, some of the men weren’t too bright; maybe they really didn’t realize that you had to match your camouflage to your surroundings. Jjong snuck a glance over to where Kibum was standing. Every time he looked at him these days he was struck by how attractive the captain was…
“PRIVATE KIM JONGHYUN!”
Fuck. “Yes Sir!”
“ARE YOU NOT INTERESTED IN THIS LECTURE PRIVATE?”
Fuck was he supposed to answer ‘Yes interested’ or ‘No not not interested’? “NO SIR! IT’S VERY INTERESTING SIR!”
“WELL IF YOU’RE STILL STRUGGLING TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE DEMONSTRATION PRIVATE, THEN YOU CAN COME DOWN AND BE A PART OF IT!”
Well that sounded awkward. Jjong glared at his friends, who were trying to stifle their laughter as he shuffled out of his seat and down the steps to the stage.
“Right…” Continued the SGM. as Jonghyun made his way forwards. “Now pay attention men, because you’ll have to do this yourselves later. Captain, if you’d be so kind.”
What fresh hell was this? Jonghyun wondered as Kibum came towards him bearing camo paint and a smirk. How was he expected to keep a straight face with the captain touching him in front of everybody? What if he gave something away. Being scrutinized like this was not comfortable at all and his knees were threatening to start shaking. He wasn’t usually a victim of stage fright, but this must be what it felt like.
The sergeant major continued, oblivious to his pain. “The first thing you have to remember about winter weather is that your breath is just as visible as you are - so wear your muffler at all times!” Kibum handed him a muffler, Jjong felt a current pass between them as their fingertips brushed. How did Kibum keep any expression off his face like that? He put the muffler on quickly, grateful that he could hide at least part of his expression.
“Now the main point of camouflage paint is to break up the shapes of the face to make them harder to pick out. Can anyone tell me what the most important feature to disguise is?”
“The eyes!” Someone called out.
“Correct! Do you have much experience wearing eye makeup private?” The soldiers all laughed and Jonghyun shifted guiltily, glad that he wasn’t expected to answer that one.
“Now if you all watch the captain…”
Kibum dipped two fingers into the white paint tin and one into the black. Jonghyun stopped himself before he started remembering all the places those fingers had been. “Close your eyes” he murmured in his lowest voice. Jonghyun cursed himself for finding this arousing, damn pavlovian response, he couldn’t help it so he just shut his eyes and bit his lip under the muffler. Kibum wiped his fingers diagonally down over his eye, Jjong could sense that the sadistic bastard was enjoying this and when he dared looked again he could see that he was right. Kibum looked really pleased with himself.
“… As you can see the lines break up the black and white of the pupil, making it harder to recognize form a distance…”
The painting didn’t stop there. The captain was obviously quite an artist and he set about covering Jonghyun’s face in criss-crossing lines of paint, tongue sticking cutely out from the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Jjong didn’t know how he stayed sane anymore.
*
After Jonghyun’s ordeal was over the men were all ordered out to practice on each other. He didn’t know whether going through the stress of Kibum touching him on stage was worth not having to let one of the other privates attack his face… he’d made a right mess of Minho’s himself. Painting was obviously harder than Kibum had made it look, everyone seemed to agree on that.
“Don’t look so sour Jjong. At least you’re not washing it out of your ears!” Said Youngbin from across the room. “Hey Taemin… How did you even get paint in my ears?” Taemin shrugged and continued wiping his own off.
“Yeah you had it easy Jjong. Capt Kibs is obviously a true artist!”
“Funny, it didn’t feel like I was having an easy time, I’d rather have one of you idiots daub all over my face than Puss in Boots up there.”
Everyone snorted. “You looked fucking terrified though, are you scared of the captain or did you get stage fright?”
“-Bullshit, Jjonggie has a crush~”
“I do not!” Jonghyun was getting more and more fidgety. This whole situation was horribly familiar and he was having flashbacks of times spent deflecting accusations in the school changing rooms. He was just waiting for that terrible moment when someone would start to take all of the banter seriously and he’d start having to come up with excuses…
“Christ you resemble a kicked puppy. No wonder you were scared that Captain Hissy would try to claw your eyes out!”
“Hey! quit talking shit about the officers!” Minho called, “The captain might hiss a bit, but as far as I know he isn’t into eye gouging… Besides Jonghyun, what I really want to know is how your sexy noona is doing?”
Thank god for Minhos…. even if Jjong did bitterly regret showing them his sister’s picture. Minho hadn’t shut up about how pretty she was since.
“I’m not putting up with this! My face is clean and now my ears will be. If anyone wants me I’ll be phoning my noona, who, by the way, is out of your league Choi Minho.”
Jonghyun left followed by his squad’s laughter. He really did consider them as his friends, but he didn’t want to test just how far that friendship went. People could be so judgmental, and in this case everyone would probably be happier not knowing the truth. He knew exactly how it’d go… they’d probably all say it was fine… but that it wasn’t something that they wanted to hear about and he better not look at any of them like that. He didn’t want to have to have that conversation again.
*
Jonghyun wasn’t actually going anywhere near the phones. Instead he exited the barracks and made a beeline for the officers’ quarters. Whilst they’d been on stage Kibum had managed to slip a note into his pocket that said to meet him in his room after the exercise was over. Jonghyun had never been in the officers’ building before but the note had said that Kibum’s room was just left of the entrance and that the best way to get in was to act like he was supposed to be there. So that was what he was going to attempt to do.
Jonghyun marched straight in, feigning confidence. He noticed, despite his nerves, that the officers had a much nicer barracks than he did and knocked confidently on the door labeled ‘Capt. Kim Kibum.’
“Message for Captain Kim.”
“Enter-”
As soon as he was in Kibum pounced on him, pinning him back against the door and capturing his lips. After a few seconds he noticed that Jonghyun wasn’t kissing back.
“Jjong?” He asked, sounding concerned. “What’s wrong? I almost thought I’d grabbed the wrong private for a second there.”
Jjong looked at him balefully and went to sit down on the bed. “That wasn’t a bad pun was it?”
“Not intentionally.” Kibum sat down next to him and put an arm round him, which Jonghyun shrugged off. For some reason he didn’t want to be comforted. “Seriously, what’s wrong? Is this about earlier?”
Jjong made a non-committal reply. It might have been about earlier, but earlier was hardly the captain’s fault. In fact if anyone could relate to him now it was probably Kibum.
“Minho knows about us right?”
“Yes, and Onew too… Is that a problem?” Kibum sounded sympathetic.
“No… I don’t know why I assumed he didn’t… He never treated me any differently. I thought he might have judged me.”
“He wouldn’t have. It’s not what he’s like.” He leant back to lean on his elbows. “That’s one reason why we became friends.”
Jjong rolled over to look at the captain. “Tell me about it.” Kibum looked confused, “I mean about you and Minho at school.”
“I thought you were the one with the problems?” He tried to deflect.
“I want to hear about someone else’s… please?”
“Hmph. Alright whatever.” Jonghyun was mildly surprised that Kibum had agreed. But he wanted to know. “Well you may have trouble believing this, but I was a bit of a rebellious teenager.”
Jonghyun raised an eyebrow and looked him up and down, “Nooo, you don’t say.”
“OK, you might not have trouble believing it. But you also have a privileged insight.” the captain added smugly, settling down. “-Anyway. When I was at school I showed out a bit… Minho was my oldest friend and the only guy left who’d have anything to do with me. I was loud, abrasive, sparkly-“
“Sparkly?” Jjong could kind of see it.
“Stop interrupting.” Kibum pushed him playfully on the shoulder, grinning a bit as he contemplated his former self. “…I wanted to be an idol.” He said wistfully.
“A WHAT!? HAHA! No? That’s hilarious.”
“Hey! This is serious to me!”
“OK, OK, I’m sorry…”
“Good... SO, I almost became an idol. DON’T you dare look so skeptical? I was actually accepted into SM Entertainment. Yes, you better be impressed.” Jonghyun was. “Minho and I snuck out one day without telling our parents and took the bus to the audition. We both got accepted pretty easily but when I told my parents they wouldn’t have it. My Dad flipped out, he said only queers were idols, he said it was an embarrassment, that I could never do it, that I didn’t have any talent anyway, that I had to join the family business, that he’d disown me if I left-“ Jonghyun was shocked, he didn’t know what to say. Kibum’s story was so sad, but he was repeating it with so little emotion.
“Business?” He asked, confused. “The other’s said that your grandfather was General Kisun?”
“My mother’s father- I’m getting to that.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Kibum continued. “My father’s business is something to do with farm machinery… I don’t understand it and I want nothing to do with it.” He made a face. “But, my grandfather had always made him feel really inadequate, and I knew that if I said I wanted to join the army he couldn’t say anything against it… So that’s what I did.”
“So you swapped being an idol, for being an officer… just to spite your father?”
“Well, maybe. But it’s not that different if you think about it. No freedom, synchronized routines, shiny outfits...” Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he quite got it. “Besides… I’m not staying here forever. Once I’ve proved myself here I’ll get transferred back to Seoul. Then I’ll get a diplomatic job, something where I can live abroad, somewhere glamorous, I has to be glamorous, an embassy in America or Europe. That’s what I want. To go somewhere else.” Ah, that made more sense to Jonghyun. Kibum just wanted to be free. He could relate to that.
Kibum had been playing idly with Jonghyun’s sleeves as he recounted his story, running his fingers unconsciously up and down the creases. Jjong felt strangely closer to him now, so it felt like the most natural thing in the world to lean over and kiss him. Kibum closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss, letting Jjong’s tongue slip between his lips. They’d never been so unhurried before, there’d always been somewhere else they’d had to be or a risk they’d be interrupted.
Kibum crawled over him, pushing him into the mattress, his dog-tags tickling Jonghyun’s nose. Jjong looked at them cross-eyed and felt sad for what they represented.
“Why is there a key on your dog-tags?” he’d noticed it before, but he’d never thought to ask.
“Oh… you’ll think I‘m silly…”
“I think we’re past that.” Jonghyun teased, taking Kibum’s hand to kiss his knuckles. He got slapped on the chest for his trouble.
“Alright nosey, it’s the key to my diary.”
“And you still keep it?”
“I still don’t want anyone reading it. It has all my secrets.”
Well that was fair enough, although Jonghyun wondered how many of those secrets he had now as he carefully thumbed though the tags above him reading them.
“Is this really freedom though Bum?”
“It’s as close as I can get.” Jonghyun thought that was so sad that he had to pull the captain down by the chains to kiss him. When Kibum pulled back he looked a little teary.
“I’ve got to go-“ Jonghyun said.
“Don’t leave-“ The captain whined.
“-they’ll miss me.”
“-I’ll miss you more. Fuck dinner, you were gone five days. Minho will make up an excuse for you”
Where did this neediness come from all of a sudden? “We can’t make him cover for us all the time.”
“He bloody well can!” Kibum exploded. “Do you know how much action he gets on a regular basis with that face of his? He can do this for me, even if he won’t do it for you!” He started to laugh. Jjong didn’t know whether he was having a breakdown, or genuinely finding something funny.
“Kibum? Are you ok?”
“Of course I’m not fucking ok! You’re trying to get out of fucking me so you can have dinner with stupid fucking Minho!”
Jjong was relieved that Kibum was alright… he decided to play along anyway, maybe he’d been projecting a little too much. “You sound jealous~ Did all of the pretty girls use to throw you over for Minho? Or did pretty Minho throw you over for all the girls?”
“The second. But Minho and I are meant to be! You are just a silly short-ass distraction… I deserve a film star!”
“But size doesn’t matter!” Said Jjong. Kibum blinked innocently. He’d stolen that look from Private Taemin, Jonghyun was sure of it. “AND all of Minho’s films are crap anyway!” He added just to make a point.
Kibum laughed again. “Yes!” he threw back his head exaggeratedly. “That’s what I like to hear! Talk dirty to me baby!”
Jonghyun chuckled. This was fun even if it was a little scary. “His face is too small and when he kisses actresses he looks constipated…”
“Yeah that’s the good stuff! More!” Kibum was grinding shamelessly on him now. Jonghyun wasn’t sure if it was wrong that he was actually finding this arousing. Apparently is possessive side was a slut for melodrama.
Jjong stilled Kibum’s hips and whispered in his ear in his best gravelly voice… “He looks like a tree-frog.”
The captain exploded into giggles, putting his hands on either side of Jjong’s face, kissing him so hard they overbalanced back onto the mattress. “Take me!”
Well that settled the dinner argument. Jonghyun rolled them and pinned Kibum’s wrists together. “Just play along baby and I’ll make you a star-“
“OK you can stop being lame now.”
Jonghyun ignored him and started to strip off his shirt. Kibum cooed and reached out to touch with his freed hands, but he was firmly stopped.
“Nope, wrists together baby.”
“Shan’t” He argued petulantly, not pleased at being denied the chance to touch the private.
“Shall.” Jjong growled, with an affectionate kiss, as he gathered his shirt together to bind the captain to the iron bed frame. Kibum wriggled experimentally but didn’t protest further. “Good boy.”
Jonghyun then went about systematically ridding the captain of his own uniform, pausing to leer at his hairless legs as they were revealed. Kibum had shaved for him. For him? The thought went straight to his cock as he palmed his smooth thighs. Kibum must have done it in the shower, waiting for him to come back. Had that excited him? Did he touch himself after, thinking about him… them together just like they were now?
“Your legs are so pretty.”
Kibum looked pleased with himself, of course he’d thought about it. He knew exactly how delicious he looked right now, splayed out on the bed like an offering, a subtle flush blooming across his skin. To show his appreciation for the effort Jonghyun sunk his teeth into the captain’s soft, inner thigh.
“Ouch!” He squeaked. “Bastard, quit gnawing me and do something productive” He attempted thwack Jjong on the side of the head playfully, but the private smoothly caught hold of his flailing leg and hitched it over his shoulder. Kibum would be regretting that.
“Yes sir~”
Jonghyun caught his captain’s eye, before, very deliberately, leaning down to draw his tongue over his pretty pink hole.
“Fuck! Jjong!” Kibum mewled, pushing himself onto Jonghyun, wantonly searching for more. Jjong happily cooperated, kissing and licking at the puckered entrance as Kibum writhed and panted above him.
“Do you like that baby? Do you like feeling my wet tongue on your ass? Will you open for me?” He said, nipping at his creamy thigh.
Kibum stared down at him through half lidded eyes, his chest rising and falling and his hair awry, dampened with sweat, wrists still trapped above him. “Yes-” His lips were swollen where he’d bitten them, Jonghyun couldn’t resist placing a filthy kiss there.
“Beg me-”
Kibum answered him by crooking his leg and pushing him back down. Jonghyun merely shrugged and went to work, pushing through the tight ring of muscle to lap at his flexible captain’s insides, making him cry out loud and curl his toes in the sheets.
Finally Jonghyun pulled away from the trembling entrance. He nosed Kibum’s balls before gently pulling one of them into his mouth.
“Hngggg- Jjonnnggg~“
Jonghyun continued, licking a slow, tortuous, line to the leaking head of the captain’s length, tasting the precome, and further, peppering butterfly kisses up his torso, his chest, his neck, along his jaw, until he reached his lips to kiss them too. Kibum melted into it, taking him back into his mouth without hesitation and Jjong’s knees threatened to collapse as the captain sucked on his tongue, teasing it with his teeth.
“You ready?” Jjong asked shakily, grasping himself and watching Kibum’s hole needily twitch, eager to take him in as he pressed the weeping head of his cock against it.
“Yes-” Kibum melted as he took Jjong in, wetness glistening on his lips and eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones. He wrapped his legs around Jonghyun’s hips to draw him deeper, right to where he needed him. “-Jjong… I want to be able to feel it tomorrow.”
He was only too happy to oblige.
*
They were resting, wrung out in the afterglow. Hopefully Minho could make him up an excuse good enough to cover such a long time. Even if he couldn’t Jonghyun thought this might be worth the dismissal. But, as content as he was, he really had to leave now before lights-out. Still, looking at a soft, naked and fucked-out Kibum he really didn’t want to…
“Hey Bummie-“
“Hm?” he hummed drowsily. Fingering his own damp hair.
“I really do have to go now.”
“Ugh,” Kibum groused. “fuck me then leave. Just like all the others.”
“I hope you’re kid-“ Began Jonghyun, until doubt crept in. “… are you kidding?”
The captain looked at him incredulously. “Jjong please don’t tell me that I’m your first, we’ve all had others.”
“Yeah… but you said that you’d had other ‘arrangements’ on base… Spill.”
“None of your business. Get lost.” He said, turning over.
“No tell me.” Jjong asked, pinching at Kibum’s sides to tickle him. “I want to know who to glare at.”
Kibum batted him off. “No one that’s still here. Drop it.”
“Do you really fancy Minho?”
Kibum grinned at him roguishly. “No I fancy this asshole private called Jonghyun. Happy?”
He noticed that the hand which had batted him was now tracing sweat droplets idly along his chest… “Having fun there?”
“Hmm?...” Kibum looked innocently back at his face. ”…You’re just really muscular...”
“Kibum, you’re a professional soldier. You see muscular men every day.” Said Jonghyun, disentangling himself from the captain reluctantly and getting up.
“Abs that you can sneak a quick peak at are not as fun as one’s you’re allowed to touch…” Kibum replied, ogling him openly as he stretched himself and reached for his, now badly stretched, shirt. “Besides they match your pretty face.” He added, slapping Jjong on the ass.
“Ah Kibum.” Said General Park as the captain entered his room. “There’s an order come through for a party to go and check out the transmitter on Mt. Gamsin.”
Kibum looked at him, puzzled. Mt. Gamsin was the highest peak in their patrol area, and not an easy climb, especially not in the winter. “Is there a problem with it sir? We won’t be able to reach it for a couple of weeks yet.”
“Apparently hasn’t been reporting, they think the snow or a goat or something might have damaged it. I need you to go check it out as soon as you’re able. Just take a platoon and a few technicians. Shouldn’t be too taxing, one day in, a couple back.”
“Yes sir, very good sir.”
“Good.” Although apparently perfectly satisfied with Kibum’s answer, the general peered over his papers to scrutinize him more closely. “…Are you alright captain? You seem out of sorts.” He asked.
“Not at all sir” Kibum didn’t want the general taking too much of an interest in his affairs… for obvious reasons. Still, there might be something to be gained from mixing business and pleasure this time. Minho was due to be discharged in a couple of weeks… “Do I have a free hand in choosing the men?”
“Yes, yes of course my boy. Probably a good opportunity of take a few of the greener ones though. Short exercise, not too taxing. Take Lieutenant Soowook as well, that boy’s an idiot, need toughening up if you ask me.”
“Yes sir. Just what I was thinking too sir.” Kibum bluffed, although to be fair, bringing Minho meant bringing Jonghyun and Taemin, and they were yet to come out on a real exercise.
“Good, good...” Nodded the general. “Say, speaking of the men, I read your report.”
“Sir? What did you make of it?“ Kibum was suddenly a little nervous. He wasn’t at all scared of the General, but he’d never liked being told that his work was anything less than perfect.
“It was very… um… satisfactory. Should go down well.”
There was clearly something wrong. “I’m glad sir.”
The general took off his glasses and sighed. “You ought to be careful.”
“Sorry sir, I don’t follow.”
The general continued. “The military is essentially a conservative institution captain. You know this - and yet you insist on pointing out things which could be changed.”
Kibum agreed, he did know this, but he was surprised by the general’s concern. “Sir, I know I might have ruffled some feathers… but I didn’t make trouble for anyone other than myself.”
“True, true. But you don’t want to be marked out as a progressive.” Park looked tired then, and Kibum wondered what might have happened to him in the past. He was an old man, he must have spent his whole life in the military, yet he still only had one star on his epaulettes. “You have an establishment name; you don’t want to be spoiling your chances with an outsider’s reputation.”
“With all due respec-“
“I only say this because I want you to do well Kibum. There are lots of people who want you to do well. I can see that you have ambition, AND skill… but sometimes you lack tact.”
“Tact sir. I’m afraid I have to disagree-“
The general cut him off. “See that is exactly it.”
“Ah… yes sir, I see your point sir.”
“Keep your head down captain. Play by our rules for now… one day you’ll be in a position to make your own.”
Kibum saluted smartly and left the general’s office with plenty to think about.
Chapter 8
The spring air was surprisingly warm on Mount Gamsin and Jonghyun could actually feel himself beginning to overheat as he climbed. He and the platoon were carefully picking their way up an exposed, stony scree on eastern slope, catching the last of the morning sun. The rocks beneath his feet were loose with only stringy little plants to hold them in position and tiny brown lizards skittered underneath his feet. Jjong was rather worried for them, each time he put his foot down they only scattered a split-second before it landed and every now and again someone in the company would stumble and trigger a little rock-slide, which, to the lizards, must have seemed catastrophically large.
Jjong looked behind him towards the DMZ. He couldn’t make out the wire fence from up here, but he could see the bare strip of land beyond it, marking the beginning of the North. They’d started the day well before dawn, driving out on the bumpy gravel road to Watchtower 34, where they’d briefly greeted the weary looking guards and then struck out, up the mountain to check out some malfunctioning observation mast or something. They were to climb to the top, make camp for a couple of nights, and then climb down the other side to be picked up from the next watchtower.
Really Jonghyun didn’t care; he hadn’t listened very closely to the official briefing, having already heard it in person from the captain. The important points were that a: he didn’t have a choice and b¬: it was guaranteed to be more fun that staying at the base. Jjong had then asked if it was more fun than staying in Kibum’s bed, and did he get to fuck the captain under the stars? He’d been hit with a pillow and told that he was degenerate and tacky and that he wasn’t coming along because Kibum wanted him there, but because Kibum wanted to spend time with Minho before he left. Jonghyun, hopelessly biased, thought that was adorable and honestly he could empathize. He really wasn’t keen to see the sergeant leave either, but all good things had to come to an end sometime. Hopefully one of others in the squadron, probably Dongmin, would be promoted up to sergeant, rather than someone new being drafted in to take command.
Jonghyun shook his head to try to clear thoughts of the uncertain future from his mind; he didn’t want to get onto the wrong train of thought. Instead he turned his attention to Onew and Taemin, who were walking just in front of him. The younger looking ready to flee…
“Don’t make that face Taemin, it’s only a little centipede!”
“It’s creepy.” Replied the private.
“Exactly! Isn’t it brilliant?!” Said Onew, brandishing the poor invertebrate at him.
“No. It’s creatures like that which make me question my faith in a benevolent God.” Taemin was looking at Onew as if he were a dangerous madman. “Don’t you dare bring it any nearer!”
“But Minnie~ The centipede is a noble and important creature. Traditional medicine has used it for centuries to heal seizures and headaches and tetanus and-“
“Yeah well traditional medicine is bunk!”
Onew had his best ‘earnest doctor’ face on. “Not necessarily. Researchers frequently look to traditional cures for new ideas. This centipede would probably be very beneficial to your health… actually you’re looking a little peaky-“
“Don’t you fuckin-“
“Private! I suggest that you stop cursing at your senior officer… Just let him feed you the damn bug!” Chimed in Minho from further up the slope where he was walking alongside the captain.
Taemin looked like he was going to be physically sick.
“Don’t scare him!” Onew called back. “I’ll have to treat him for trauma!”
“Which bug cures trauma?” Asked Minho helpfully.
“None. But I could get him high enough to forget all about it.”
There was a pause in the laughter. “Wait - seriously?”
“Mmmhmm…”
Damn. Jinki, a man of hidden depths. Jonghyun was growing very fond of him though. He smiled as he watched the doctor gently set the bug down and wave goodbye to it.
*
They’d reached the top of the scree and were picking their way through a wooded plateau. It was much colder now that they were out direct sunlight and Jjong could feel the chill in the air again. The ground was still rocky, but running with melt water from the now ex-snowcap and strange, stringy trees covered the path, bleached white and windblown. They followed the vague path of the stream until they reached its source, a spring bubbling out the base of a high cliff and Jonghyun could tell just by the feel of the place that people had stayed there many times before.
“Ok men.” Began Kibum. “Here’s base camp. Now who volunteers to help set it up?”
Several hands shot into the air immediately, all the more experienced ones.
“Why are you so keen?” Jjong nudged Dongmin, who was standing next to him.
“Because in 20 minutes we’ll be done setting up and relaxing, whereas you will just be reaching the summit… Not that you should feel bad, there’s a cracking view up from up there-“
Kibum continued, pretending that he couldn’t see Jonghyun and Dongmin being undisciplined. “Everyone else drop your packs, you won’t be needing them, and follow me.”
“Yes sir!”
*
The final section of the climb, from the camp to the top, was nothing like the rest of the way had been. The mountain’s peak was formed of a jagged, granite outcrop, with snow still lying in between the rocks where the sun couldn’t reach. After climbing up the side of the cliff they weaved and squeezed themselves through a maze of shrubs and boulders until they suddenly emerged out, up on the summit. Jjong gasped at the view of the endless, deserted mountains and at the cold breeze billowing around his ears.
Whilst the technicians knelt down to see to the transmitter Jonghyun looked about. The top of the mountain was really only a large, flat stone. The defective transmitter was in the center, just a metal box with an aerial and some dishes, and next to it was an old marker carved with the mountain’s name. Gamsin meant ‘guardian’, that was appropriate… but the marker was much older than the partition, maybe the mountain used to guard something else.
The other men had gathered around the far side of the platform and some were looking out to the North. Jiong went to see what was so interesting.
“Here Jonghyun, look at this.” Said Yongbin, passing him his binoculars. “Look at those guys over there!” He said, pointing to the first North Korean soldiers that Jjong had ever laid eyes on. The group were too far away to focus on properly, but the blurry men seemed completely unremarkable, just standing around by their watchtower, in the way that all bored soldiers do. Jjong tried to pass the glasses onto Taemin so that he could look, but got no response. Taemin’s eyes were fixed firmly downwards over the sharp drop, transfixed by a waterfall tumbling down below them. Jjong couldn’t do that, it made his knees feel funny, so he tore his gaze away and looked around for the captain.
Kibum was near where they had come up from, looking a little pale, so Jonghyun went to sit by him.
“Are you scared of heights Bum?” he asked, half teasing, nudging him with his shoulder.
“Watch it private.”
Jjong recoiled. He hadn’t heard that tone in Kibum’s voice in a long time. He didn’t know how to feel all of a sudden.
“Sorry sir.” He muttered, downcast, as the atmosphere between them grew increasingly awkward. Had he overstepped the line?... No one was paying any attention to them, Soowook and the platoon were taking observation notes on the North, the technicians were preoccupied by the transmitter…
Kibum began to relax a little… he must have seen it too. But he was still a stiff distance from Jonghyun that felt unnatural and Jjong couldn’t bear the feeling of rejection, so he inched his hand out to rest over the captain’s and smiled to himself as it was gripped apologetically.
“Hey! Jjong!” Jonghyun jumped 5 feet into the air at the others’ call. “What are you doing back there with the Captain?” Jjong felt his life flash before his eyes “Are you scared of heights too?” Or maybe not.
“We’d understand if you were mate, it’s not like you’re used to being far off the ground” Said some other cheeky asshole.
“For fuck’s sake! I’m a perfectly average height!”
“Whatever, come over here and look at this… Sir, you better come and see this too”
Jjong and Kibum dusted themselves off and got up to see what all of the fuss was about, Jonghyun had to resist the urge to place a comforting hand on the captain’s back.
“Look… the soldiers over there, they’ve spotted us.”
“You got me over here for that? Of course they’ve spotted us… They’re watchmen… I give up…” Grumbled Kibum, turning back to the ‘safe’ side. “Some people, I swear- and how are you two getting on?” He questioned the techies snappishly.
“We can’t seem to get into it sir. It’s gotten jammed. I think we’ll need to come back in the morning with a full toolkit.
Kibum nodded. “Yes, very good. Alright then, if you’ve all finished we’ll go down for dinner.”
And so they went, picking their way inelegantly back down to the camp.
*
Night fell and the platoon huddled themselves around the fire. They didn’t strictly need it. They had perfectly warm sleeping bags in the tent and their rations were the black-magic kind that heated themselves when you pulled the packet open. But someone had built the fire whilst waiting around earlier and Kibum had huffily agreed that it’d be a waste not to light it. Jjong was grateful, finding the crackling light of the flames soothing.
“So did you see anything interesting up the top?” Onew asked between mouthfuls of rice.
“If you were interested then you should have come up yourself lazy.” Replied the captain.
“I’ll come up tomorrow.” He grinned back.
Kibum was not impressed. “Come? No we rank equally, you’ll go and be supervisor tomorrow, whilst I stay down here.” He and Jinki eyed each other having some kind of private communication.
Lieutenant Soowook butted in, “That’s not strictly protocol sir-“ and was duly ignored.
“- OK then. You stay down here, and I’ll go up… But I’ll be looking for leopards not giving practical advice on fixing antenna.”
“… You know nothing about antenna anyway…” Mumbled Kibum, semi-exasperated.
“Hold on Jinki… sorry, Sir… But Leopards?” Asked Jonghyun, intrigued.
“Yeah, leopards.” He nodded, shoveling in more rice. “Apparently, because of the DMZ, there are so few people round here that they’ve started coming back.”
“Yeah coming back to pull you out of your sleeping bag and eat you!” Joked private Seungdae.
“Shut the fuck up!” Everyone threw their empty ration packets at him, and he had roll away to shield himself.
“Hey!” Said Taemin, “We should tell scary stories.”
“Hell no.” Kibum shut him down.
“Ohhh don’t be a party-pooper” Moaned Minho.
“No.”
“I think that’s a great idea Taemin.” The doctor agreed. “…And seeing as I and Kibum rank equally…” He grinned mischievously, “I say that we should.”
Everyone cheered and Kibum gave in. “OK, but no zombies or axe murderers.”
“I have an appropriate one about a leopard.” Minho suggested helpfully.
“OR those.”
“Yes, the one with the leopard please Sergeant!” said Onew. “Don’t look like that captain, no leopard would ever come near us… and if it did… well there are 20 of us and we all have guns.”
Minho looked to Kibum for agreement, which he apparently got because he began in his best ‘sinister’ voice, holding a torch under his chin to cast creepy shadows and wiggling his fingers: “~THE LEOPARD!~”
“You are such a drama queen, get on with it.”
Jjong snorted, because the irony of that statement coming from Kibum was something else.
“Ahem… Once upon a time, long, long ago there lived a hunter-“
“-This isn’t supposed to be a fucking fairytale!”
“As I was saying… there lived a hunter, NOT in a far away land, but around here… In the past…” Minho looked around for any other potential hecklers. “The hunter was a poor man, living off what he could shoot with his own bow and arrow in the high mountains. One day he was in the mountains stalking a deer, and he came across a terrible leopard who was doing the same thing. He was going to leave it be, knowing that it is bad luck to shoot a leopard in the back, but the leopard heard him coming and attacked him. However the brave hunter managed shoot the leopard as it ran towards him and he didn’t die that day…”
“Minho this isn’t scary!”
“Patience Taemin, I’m still just setting the scene… Anyway, the hunter had a dead leopard and no deer, but he shrugged and decided to make the best of the situation, so he took the leopard’s fur and wore it home. When he got to town everyone he met admired the beautiful fur, saying that he was brave to have killed such a fearsome beast, and the hunter grew proud. He sold the fur to a merchant for 20 times what a deer carcass was worth, and he went back to his house a happy man... That night his wife told him that there was a strange spot on his back, but he ignored her, because he could not see the spot and she was probably just being paranoid.
The hunter and his family lived off the money from the leopard’s skin for weeks, but soon the hunter had to go back up the mountain to hunt for deer again. This time, once more, he saw a leopard, but this time he shot the creature without thinking twice, because he knew now how much its skin was worth. He took the leopard’s fur back to the town, and this time he sold it for 30 times the price of a deer. That night his wife told him that he had grown another spot on his back.
“OoooOOOooooo”
“Shh!…. As time went on the deer hunter became a leopard hunter, learning their ways and habits and chasing them further and further into the mountains. He also grew rich and disdainful towards the other hunters and taught only his son how to hunt the leopards like he did.
One day the hunter and his son were camping far out in the mountains. There were so few leopards left near their village that they had to walk for days to find their prey. The son was sitting alone by the campfire, just like we are now, whilst his father was off in the bushes somewhere relieving himself….” Minho paused so that the men could snigger, predictably. “ Then out of the darkness came a terrible leopard! With rolling eyes and piercing claws. And the son killed it dead with one shot, just like his father had done with the first leopard years before. “Father” cried the son “Father? Where are you? I have killed my first leopard. Are you proud of me?” But the father didn’t answer and the boy was worried. He looked around, but he had no light to see with. “Father!” He called again and again, but no answer came. What if the leopard had killed his father just before he’d killed it? The boy could do nothing, so he went back to the fire, kicking the corpse of the terrible leopard.
The next morning his father still hadn’t returned and the boy went out to search for him. He searched all day and he still could not find him, he searched all the next day and he still couldn’t find him, and the next day and the next. Every day he searched and every night he came back to the camp to kick the corpse of the terrible leopard, because there was no doubt in his mind now that it was the leopard who had killed him. Eventually the son had to give up. He’d never been taught how to hunt for food and he couldn’t remain on the mountain any longer.
He looked at the dead leopard and decided to take it’s skin. He wanted the skin of the beast that had killed his father, so he got out his knife and began to cut it away… but as he cut he noticed something strange, the flesh beneath the skin was not that of a cat… it was that of an old man…”
“…. Well that was disgusting.”
“-WTF CHOI?!”
“-OH god I’m never going to sleep now.”
“-That wasn’t even scary it was just gross!”
Minho just laughed at the uproar he’d caused.
“-Your laugh is scarier than whatever the fuck that was-“
Chapter 9
Jonghyun couldn’t get to sleep. Not because of Minho’s stupid story… Taemin had followed it with one far more twisted anyway… but because he was cold, and the nocturnal mountain creatures were noisy… and because Minho was snoring again. He sighed and decided that in lieu of sleep he might as well go and bother Kibum, whose shift on guard duty it was. He got up as quietly as he could and slipped out of the big, shared tent to sneak up on the oblivious captain.
“YAhh! fuck Jonghyun I almost stabbed you. Never fucking do that gain, Jesus Christ.”
“Sorry. I can’t sleep.”
“Go try.” Replied the pissed off captain, pointing at the tent.
“I can’t.” Jjong insisted, taking captive Kibum’s outstretched fingers to play with. “I have insomnia anyway and out here I can’t take anything for it.”
“Oh.” Kibum paused, ashamed. “I’m sorry I didn’t know.”
“Don’t worry Bum, you couldn’t have known, I’ve never mentioned it and we’ve never slept together.”
Kibum drew away from him and looked down at his feet to avoid looking him in the face. “I wish we could… I’m sorry Jonghyun… that we can’t…”
The captain said that so sincerely that Jonghyun couldn’t resist his impulse to lean over and kiss him. He was foiled though by Kibum abruptly springing into action, grabbing his hand and pulling him up.
“What’s this?”
“Shh, follow me,” He hushed him, checking around for the other guard, all solemnity forgotten. “I have something to show you-“
Jjong allowed himself to be pulled across the stream and around the far side of the cliff. The path was a bit overgrown and the bushes pulled at his legs and sprang back to thwack him in the face after Kibum had parted them to make his own way though. “Ouch!”
Kibum stopped dead and turned around. “Close your eyes.” He ordered.
Jonghyun rolled them first, but did as the captain said after a stern look, and Kibum took his hand and led him on. Jjong could hear the thundering of falling water nearby.
They came to a stop where the noise was even louder and he could feel flecks of cold water landing on his cheeks like little kisses. He knew where they must be. “Ok you can open them now.”
Kibum was right to sound pleased with himself. Jonghyun gaped… it was beautiful. They were at the base of the waterfall he’d seen from above earlier, the moonlight glinting off the falling water as it gathered in a silver pool, before cascading again off another drop, further down into the darkness.
“Do you like it?” The captain asked, eager for approval.
“Of course I like it...” Jjong giggled. “…it’s almost as pretty in the moonlight as you are!”
“You shameless, cheesy bastard!”
“You take me to a secluded, moonlit waterfall… and you call me cheesy?” Jonghyun said reasonably.
“Yes.” Kibum put his hands on his hips. “I took you here because I knew that your cheesy self would like it.”
“…Well you were right.” Said Jonghyun, touched.
“Good.” There was a pause whilst they looked each other up and down, neither wiling to make the first move for some reason. There was usually no holding them back from each other, but Kibum’s admission that he had done something for Jonghyun was… unusual.
“Are you about to tell me that you love me?~” Jjong teased.
“No. Who do you think I am? I’d never desert my post just to tell a private that I loved them…” Jjong felt his heart sink for no particular reason. “…I’m about to tell you to get on your knees.” The captain smirked, and all was forgiven.
“HAHAHHaha Bummie no~”
“Shhh, not so loud” Said Kibum, fumbling to cover Jonghyun’s mouth with his hands.
Jjong relapsed into giggles again as the captain tried to grapple with him, sweeping him up by his narrow waist and nuzzling his ear. “No one’s going to hear anything from all the way out here, not over the water.” He said, biting on it and running his hands down to squeeze Kibum’s butt.
“Well that was part of my evil plan” Kibum replied, grinding into Jonghyun and pushing him up against the cliff face.
“So can I make a noise?”
Kibum kissed him firmly as a reply, shutting him up. “No” He whispered before licking along the seam of Jjong’s lips to get them to open. They kissed silently for a couple of minutes. The sounds of soft panting and spray taking Jjong back to their first time in the shower. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but in reality it was just over 4 months. How much had changed since then. Everything, everything and nothing… How much he wanted the man who was currently nipping along his jaw was exactly the same-
“-Wait what was that?” Kibum stopped, suddenly alert, hands halfway into Jonghyun’s pants.
“What was what babe?” Jjong asked, annoyed that he’d stopped there. Still, he listened.
There was a sharp cracking noise and the sound of muffled voices “…That.” Said Kibum.
“Shit. I don’t know. It didn’t sound right at all. “Sounds like it’s coming from below us…”
“You look.” Kibum prodded him forwards.
Now was not the time the officer to be scared of heights, but Jonghyun obeyed anyway, crawling on hands and knees to the edge and peering down.
“What’s there?” Asked the captain.
“I can see lights in the bushes.”
“-Like torches?”
“Yes like torches,” Jjong replied.
Kibum joined him, settling down by his side to look too. Scattered phrases drifted up to them from below. “Fuck. Those are soldiers.”
“But they’re not us….” They looked at each other for a shocked second and then jolted up, racing back along the path together. Jonghyun could feel his heart racing a mile a minute as they rounded the cliff and careered back to the campsite.
“WHO GOES THERE? State your names!” One of the privates on watch, Jihyung, shouted out as they whistled past.
“Put your gun down idiot.” Ordered Kibum in a hushed tone, rounding on him.
“-Oh, sorry sir- What are you doing out here anyway?“
“Mind your own fucking business and don’t question me again.” Kibum spat at the terrified looking boy. “We have a situation downhill, we need to wake up the platoon. GO!”
The three of them hurried into the tent to wake up the others, most of whom seemed to already be stirring from the commotion outside, blinking wearily. Kibum was in full on command mode, and for the first time Jonghyun was impressed by it, rather than put off. He seemed suddenly calm and powerful and Jjong felt a little ashamed for having thought of him more as a rich kid just playing soldiers before. He clearly knew what he was doing.
“Right men.” He began the briefing. “We are faced with an enemy force advancing from below. Private Kim and I observed approximately 20 men, perhaps more, ascending the northern slope-“
One of the men nudged Jihyung to ask if he knew why the captain and Jonghyun had been out together anyway. Jinhyung just shook his head and Kibum let it pass without comment, ignoring them. The rest of the men were still shocked into silence, not knowing what to make of being woken up, on camp, in the middle of the night and told to scramble.
“- We have about an hour, hour and a half maximum until they make it to the top of the scree.”
“Sir, is this a training exercise?” Someone asked, the undisguised quiver in their voice actually making Jonghyun more nervous than anything that had happened so far.
“No private. Unfortunately this is not a drill…” The captain’s sharp eyes scanned the tent, searching for anyone else who might be about to interrupt him, but the rest were all standing in dumb shock, waiting for him to continue. “Right. As I said, we have an hour to prepare. The men we are facing are probably those we observed observing us earlier. I’m assuming that they have a tunnel downhill, probably incorporating the natural cave system. They were also probably the ones who sabotaged the transmitter. Sergeant Jung, do you agree?”
The technician nodded, “Yes sir, that would be possible.”
“These things considered, we must assume that this is a trap. That they either intend to capture or kill us and it is my duty to remind you that it is the policy of the South Korean government that those two are the same thing. We do not know what methods they use to extract information; you will not allow them to hold you as a hostage… is that clear?”
“Yes sir!” Jjong felt queasy. Things had gotten so intense so fast. 20 minutes ago Kibum was kissing him, and now he was telling him, completely seriously, that he might have to kill himself in the near future to avoid being tortured. How could he process this? He felt numbness creeping over him as Kibum went on to explain that they were vulnerable and needed to move uphill.
“We can’t defend this position but we can defend the path to the summit. We’ll set an ambush, and then, and only then we’ll call for help. We can’t use the radio until we are ready for them to know that we’re awake. That means that we’ll be on our own for a bit until reinforcements arrive. But if we plan this right we stand a good chance.”
“Yes sir!”
“Now everyone gather your weapons, essential gear, anything with technical information on it, do it fast and do it quietly.”
“Yes sir!”
“Haetae!”
“HAETAE!”