The steps of recovery; PG-13; first part of chapter 4/?
Title: The steps of recovery
Author hangoverday
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Minkey, Ontae
Summary: Key, Minho, Jonghyun and Taemin all attend an AA group led by Jinki. They are all different but struggling with the same problems. The road to recovery is not easy but on the way they realise the importance of friendship, and love.
A/N: The summary sucks if you still haven't noticed. So just go on and read this.
Taemin kept pacing around his room. He felt more and more anxious as the clock crept closer to 9 pm. That was when his brother’s party was supposed to start. Party that was held in their house, in the house that Taemin was supposed to spend his night in. Taemin knew that it would only take a few drinks to take away the worst edge of his nervousness. But the boy had made a promise to himself not to drink anymore, at least not if he was only using alcohol to escape an unpleasant situation. Taemin buried his face in his hands. He just wasn’t good at being around people he didn’t know. All the guests would be older than him and he only knew a few them from before. Taemin snapped his head up as his door swung open.
“Have you seen my Big Bang CDs anywhere?” his brother asked as he rushed into his room.
“Yeah, I have them. Let me get them for you”, Taemin answered and started going through his drawer.
“I knew it”, his brother laughed. “If I ever buy anything that you can dance to you nick it as soon as I look away”.
Taemin grinned as he handed the CDs to his brother. He admitted he had a bad habit of lending his brother’s stuff and forgetting to return it.
“So how many people you think will show up tonight?” Taemin didn’t manage to sound as nonchalant as he wanted to.
“Not sure, around 30 I think”, his brother answered, not missing the look on Taemin’s face but misreading it.
“I know you have school tomorrow, I ask people to keep it down”, he told Taemin, ruffling his hair.
“And I’m going to make sure no one gives you anything with alcohol in it”, his brother added and gave Taemin a wink before leaving.
Taemin let out a heavy sigh. He loved his parents and brother but they had no idea what Taemin was going through. When he had told them he wanted to attend an AA meeting they’d been taken aback. They didn’t think he had a problem with alcohol but had let him do as he wished. He could remember his mother saying that Taemin shouldn’t be worried, he was 18 and it was normal to party every once in a while when you were young. Like partying too much was Taemin’s problem, hell, he rarely left his room after school. He never drank too much, never threw up or passed out.
It wasn’t really alcohol that was his problem, it was just the bad solution he had come up with. He wanted it to change. He didn’t want to need to drink to become the person he wanted to be. He was sure none of his classmates sneaked into the bathroom to have three vodka shots before a speech in front of a class. None of them downed half a bottle of wine before P.E. class. He didn’t want to do it either. He didn’t even like drinking. He hated the way alcohol burned in his mouth and how it made his vision blur. He just couldn’t face people if he was sober. He hated himself for it.
He could hear voices from downstairs. First guests were arriving and Taemin wanted to hide. There just was nowhere to go. He should have gone to sleep in one of his friends’ house, he thought now as the panic was taking him over again. He had thought this would be a good opportunity to practice being social but he regretted staying. How was he supposed to make it through the whole night in a house packed with strangers? He decided he would just stay in his room and lock the door.
Taemin’s master plan turned out not to be so genius after all. He had been so nervous before he had barely eaten anything and now he was so hungry he felt weak. He knew he had to eat something or he’d probably faint. Not that it sounded such a bad idea. He could hear the music and laughter to his room and he wanted nothing less than to leave the haven his room was to him now. He got up from his bed and walked to the door with shaky legs. Taemin knew it was ridiculous how scared he was, it was his home after all. Sadly knowing the truth didn’t change it.
It took all the courage Taemin had to walk downstairs and into their living room. The whole place was full of people. The music was loud and the bass vibrated through Taemin’s body. People were dancing, bodies tangled together. All the available surfaces were covered in bottles and plastic cups. On top of their TV was a huge bowl of bunch. A few people nodded at Taemin as he made his way towards kitchen, trying to avoid bumping into anyone or drawing attention to himself. The kitchen was just as chaotic as the living room. People were leaning on the fridge door and Taemin didn’t want to ask them to move, that would mean actually opening his mouth.
“Hey there little brother”, Taemin’s brother greeted him happily as he stepped into the kitchen with some beautiful blonde girl. “You decided to join the party then, huh?” He was slurring a bit and Taemin could see he was starting to be pretty drunk.
“Nah, just came to get something to eat and then go back to my room”, Taemin told him, trying to put a smile on his face.
“You’re no fun!” his brother complained. “Oi, Jiyong move your ass. My brother needs to eat”, he shouted to the man blocking the way to the fridge. Taemin smiled apologetically to this person called Jiyong, who just laughed and moved to stand a bit further away. Taemin quickly took a bottle of juice and some leftover food and was about to leave as his brother stopped him.
“Taeminnie, I want you to meet this fabulous girl. Taemin, this is Saga, Saga this is my baby brother Taemin”, his brother introduced them. Taemin gave a polite bow and the girl giggled.
“Aigoo, you’re really cute”, the girl said in surprisingly good Korean. Taemin blushed and muttered a quiet thankyou. Why couldn’t he just answer normally? Taemin wanted to leave before he could make a total idiot out of himself. To his utter shock Saga took the food out of Taemin’s hands, gave them to his brother and started to drag Taemin towards the living room.
“Your brother told me you’re a really good dancer”, Saga was smiling warmly. “I used to be a dance teacher back in Sweden and I’d love to see you dance!”
Taemin felt like his heart would stop any minute. It would’ve been impossible for him to dance in front of Saga even if they were alone, he couldn’t possibly dance in front of all those people. The familiar sense of panic took him over, clearing every coherent thought from his head. All he could think of was how he was going to die if he couldn’t get away. People were making room for him as Saga dragged him in middle of the room.
“I need to do my homework”, Taemin heard himself mutter as his legs took him away from the mass, towards his room. He needed to get to his room, then he would be okay. Taemin felt like he was in middle of a nightmare, everything seemed to happen to someone else. His body moved in its own, taking him upstairs two steps at once. Taemin pushed the door with all his force but it didn’t open. It was locked.
“This room is taken”, he heard a male voice shout from his room, followed by a girl’s laugh.
Taemin backed off as if the door had suddenly burst into flames. There were people in his room, in the only place that was safe.
“Oh no oh no oh no”, Taemin kept muttering to himself. He felt like he would suffocate any minute and that was all he could concentrate on. Taemin was breathing like he had just run a mile but still he didn’t seem to get enough oxygen. Outside. The word flashed inside Taemin’s head. He needed to get outside, then he could breathe again. Taemin nearly run out of the house, not even registering the way people were looking at him or shouting after him. When he was finally outside he walked quickly to the bus stop near their house and collapsed to the bench. He was shaking, unable to stop the sobs that were escaping from his mouth.
Taemin sat there like that for a while. When his body finally stopped trembling and his breathing was back to normal Taemin took his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Eleven forty-six. He knew the guests wouldn’t leave until the early morning. It was cold outside and Taemin only had on a sweater. If he had to stay outside for long he would most definitely get sick. It still sounded like a better option than going back inside. It would be so easy to just get drunk and join the party, he had done it before. If he had a few glasses of punch and maybe a few shots he could sit on some dark corner and wait for people to leave.
“No, I can’t”, Taemin muttered to himself, shaking his head. “And I probably should stop talking to myself”, he added. It was a habit he’d have for all his life. It was a way of keeping company to himself. “I’m so weird, no wonder people want to beat me up”, Taemin sighed and pulled the hood to cover his head from the wind. He glanced at his phone and an idea struck him. Maybe if he called someone from his AA group they could pick him up and give him a ride to a hotel or something. They would understand why he couldn’t stay. He was willing to spend all his money if it meant he could get away from here. So, it would be Kibum or Jinki then, they were the only ones with a car. Taemin wasn’t even paying attention as his fingers automatically found Jinki’s number and then he could hear the sound of the phone dialing.
“Hey Taemin”, Jinki answered before Taemin could get second thoughts. The man’s voice was as soft and warm as always and it made Taemin instantly feel a bit better.
“Sorry for calling so late, am I interrupting something?” Taemin asked and wished for a no.
“I was just watching TV so I’m doing nothing important really. It’s nice to hear from you. Have you behaved yourself?” He could hear the smile in Jinki’s voice. Taemin smiled as well, forgetting about the coldness and how hungry he was.
“Well, yeah. My brother is just having a party right now and when I went to get food some people decided to lock themselves into my room so now I’m outside because I sort of don’t want to be inside and I don’t even know why I stayed I mean I should’ve known I couldn’t be here if I’m sober”, Taemin knew he was babbling but he just wanted to talk to Jinki and hear the other tell him everything was okay.
“So you mean you still haven’t drunk anything?” Jinki asked him. Taemin rolled his eyes. Of course the other would think about that first.
“No, I made a promise to myself and want to keep it. I just don’t think I can do it if I have to stay here, I was thinking if maybe you could give me a ride to a hotel or something”, Taemin couldn’t keep the nervousness out of his voice even if he tried. For a minute it was silent, all Taemin could hear was Jinki’s breathing.
“I think you should stay”, Jinki told him finally and Taemin felt like bursting into tears again. Jinki was supposed to understand him!
“Yeah maybe you’re right. I, I should be getting back inside now”, Taemin tried to sound like he didn’t care and was about to disconnect as Jinki spoke again.
“But if you want to I could come there and wait with you until you get your room back”, he added, voice soothing. Taemin’s heart skipped a few beats, but this time it wasn’t because of the panic.
“Are you serious, hyung?” Taemin blurted. Jinki laughed at the other end and it sent shivers through Taemin’s body. It was the best sound in the world.
“Of course I’m serious. Like I would just leave you there and see what happens”, Jinki said softly. Taemin was grinning like an idiot now.
“I just put some clothes on, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes or so”, Jinki told him before ending the call. Taemin jumped up and danced around the bus stop and he knew he was acting like a basket case but Jinki was going to be there soon and it was all he could think of.
It took Jinki 17 minutes to arrive. As soon as he stepped out of the car Taemin run to him and hugged him.
“You’re the best, Jinki hyung!” Taemin told him and flashed a smile. Taemin nearly purred as Jinki laughed and pulled him closer.
“I can’t believe you’re outside wearing only this!” Jinki exclaimed as he pointed at Taemin’s sweater.”We’re going inside right now, mister”. Taemin followed him obediently. He felt a bit nervous as they got closer the house and the music got louder. Then he felt Jinki squeeze his arm gently and he glanced at the man who was smiling at him.
“It’s okay Taemin”, Jinki muttered. Taemin nodded at him before opening the door. The music and chatter surrounded them as soon as they stepped inside. Taemin’s fingers were tingling in the sudden warmness. They walked into the living room were someone was stripping off his clothes as the rest of the group was cheering.
“I’m not so sure this is a good environment for you”, Jinki furrowed his brows as he eyed the half naked man doing hip thrusts. Taemin just laughed and pulled him towards the kitchen. It was a bit quieter there as most people had gathered to watch the show.
“You want something to drink?” Taemin asked Jinki who just shook his head. Taemin started eating the leftover food from earlier and he was nearly finished when he could see someone blonde getting closer to them.
“Shit, it’s that girl who asked me to dance for her earlier today”, Taemin cursed and for a minute thought about hiding in the cleaning closet. Though he suspected some drunken couple was occupying it already.
“I take it you didn’t just show your mad skills to her then?” Jinki sounded amused and Taemin shot him a glare.
“Of course I did. Everybody thought I was great and wanted to be friends with me”, Taemin told Jinki who grinned at him.
“What happened then?” Jinki asked and suddenly pressed himself against Taemin so someone could get pass them. Jinki’s hands were on Taemin’s hips and his body was warm against Taemin’s. Their chests were pressed together so firmly Taemin could feel Jinki’s heart beat. Taemin felt himself blushing even if the contact lasted only for a few seconds.
“I made a lame excuse and ran out”, Taemin muttered embarrassed. Luckily Jinki didn’t know he was mostly embarrassed at how much wanted to pull the older boy back.
“How come I can picture that quite easily”, Jinki teased him and Taemin just stuck out his tongue.
“Taemin, where did you go earlier?” Saga asked him as she walked to them, dragging Taemin’s brother with her.
“And who’s your friend?” his brother asked, trying to focus his gaze on Jinki.
“I’m sorry about that”, Taemin told Saga. It was amazing how much easier everything was when he knew Jinki had his back.
“I’m a bit shy so I don’t really feel confident to dance in front of so many people. I should have explained it to you, I’m sorry”, Taemin muttered and bowed a bit.
“Oh don’t apologize, I should have asked you if you even wanted to perform”, Saga smiled warmly. Taemin liked the girl and hoped his brother would be smart enough to hang onto her.
“Yeah whateveeer, who’s that guy, do I know you”, Taemin’s brother insisted as he eyed Jinki.
“I’m Lee Jinki, Taemin’s friend. And no, we haven’t met before”, Jinki told him, grinning as Taemin’s brother was swaying back and forth.
“Well nice to meet you. Kiddo’s friends are my friends”, Taemin’s brother told Jinki, his words slurred together. Saga rolled his eyes at Taemin who giggled.
“I’m taking him to rest for a bit, it was nice meeting you Taemin. And you too, Jinki.” Saga started guiding the older boy towards the living room.
“Oi, Jinki. No further than second base before Taemin’s 19!” They heard Taemin’s brother shout before the pair disappeared around the corner. Taemin blushed, hoping the earth would swallow him.
“Did he mistake me for a girl or what was that about?” Jinki asked amused.
“I might have forgotten to mention I like boys as well”, Taemin muttered, shifting uncomfortably in his spot.
“Oh, okay.” If Jinki was surprised he managed to hide it well. “That means Jonghyun is the only one who’s straight then.”
“Though he told me once that if a guy would be pretty enough, and he would be drunk enough, he might be able to forget about being straight for a few hours”, Taemin giggled.
“That means you’re staying away from him when he’s drunk, then”, Jinki laughed. Taemin’s eyes went wide as he realized that Jinki had just called him pretty. A huge smile took over Taemin’s face.
“You think I’m pretty”, he retorted, not really thinking what he was saying. It was Jinki’s turn to blush. Taemin was sure he didn’t look as adorable as Jinki when he blushed.
“It’s not just me who think so. You are pretty, Taemin”, Jinki muttered and ran his hand trough his hair, a nervous gesture. Taemin was sure he would burst, that’s how happy he was. He didn’t care anymore that they were in a party full of people, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Jinki thought he was pretty.
“Uhm, it’s a bit hot in here, should we get you a jacket and go outside?” Jinki asked, changing the subject.
“Sure, fine with me”, Taemin agreed. Anything Jinki could come up was fine with him.
They found him a jacket from the huge pile of clothes lying in the hallway and made their way to the swings in their backyard. Taemin’s father had put them there almost 12 years ago and it was a miracle they had survived this long. They just sat there, swinging and talking. Being with Jinki was like being drunk, only so much better. Taemin felt good about himself when he was with Jinki, he didn’t have to think what he could say or be afraid the other would make fun of him. Sure, Jinki teased him a lot but there was no malice behind his words, his eyes stayed soft. Taemin felt light headed from all the laughing and from the scent of Jinki’s cologne.
“You want to dance?” Taemin asked Jinki as one of his favourite songs started playing in the background.
“I think it’s better if I just watch you. Last time I danced I managed to trip over nothing and bumped into some girl, spilling my drink over her expensive designer dress”, Jinki sighed and made a face, making Taemin laugh.
“Was she angry?” Taemin asked grinning.
“Suppose so because she kept hitting me with her purse before her boyfriend saved me”, Jinki told Taemin who shook his head in disbelief.
“And I thought I’m the awkward one”, Taemin said earning a playful smack in the arm from Jinki. Taemin took hold of Jinki’s wrists and pulled him up.
“Just relax and let the music guide you”, Taemin smiled to Jinki as he started to move his body to the music. He closed his eyes and the other Taemin took over. The one he was when he was dancing, the Taemin who knew exactly what he was doing. They danced face to face for a moment, Jinki mostly just swinging along to the music while Taemin used his whole body, letting all the tension escape from him. Taemin was so concentrated on dancing it took a moment for him to realise that a slow song was playing and he was moving his body against Jinki, arms thrown around the older boy’s neck. Jinki had a shocked expression on his face but his hands were resting on the small of Taemin’s back, thumbs gently tracing circles. Taemin knew he should pull back, make a joke out of it but he felt like mesmerized as he stared into Jinki’s eyes.
They stopped moving, just standing there holding each other. The look in Jinki’s eyes made Taemin shiver as anticipation build inside him. Their faces where so close all Taemin could think of was how would it feel to kiss Jinki. Jinki brought his other hand to Taemin’s face, tracing his jaw with his fingers. Taemin felt feverish, he had never wanted anything like he wanted Jinki right now. Taemin slipped his hands inside Jinki’s jacket, caressing the hot skin. The muffled sigh that escaped Jinki’s mouth made Taemin press his body closer, desperate to lose himself in Jinki. A sudden noise made them rush away from each other and glance to the back door. Two figures were standing in the doorway but Taemin couldn’t make out their faces.
“It’s you!” the shorter person spat out, his voice painfully familiar.
“Jaebum hyung”, Taemin whispered, waves of fear quickly washing away the lust.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jaebum asked voice like steel.
“Seems like he’s busy being the little queer he is”, the other said mockingly. Junho hyung. The two people he hated most in the whole world. Taemin couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. He saw Jinki glance at him but Taemin didn’t meet his eyes.
“He lives here, why do you care”, Jinki answered for Taemin.
“He’s Chansung’s brother?!” Junho asked surprised.
“No wonder he doesn’t talk about you much”, Jaebum scoffed, walking closer to them. He stopped just in front of Taemin, eyeing him coldly. Taemin wanted to back off but stayed still with great effort.
“So is this your boyfriend then?” Jaebum asked Taemin, nodding towards Jinki.
“I’m his friend and I can speak for myself”, Jinki told Jaebum, stepping forwards a bit as if to protect Taemin.
“Shut your mouth, it’s the little freak here I’m talking to”, Jaebum snorted at Jinki. Taemin didn’t even have time to react before Jinki was grapping the front of Jaebum’s jacket, pulling him closer.
“Take that back right now”, Jinki hissed, eyes narrowing as he stared coldly at Jaebum. Junho was about to help his friend but Jaebum shook his head and motioned him to stop.
“I’m dealing with this person all by myself”, Jaebum muttered before pushing Jinki away from him and instantly landing his fist on Jinki’s face.
“Jinki hyung!” Taemin cried out and run to the older boy who gently pushed him aside.
“Just stay out of this”, Jinki told him not even turning to face Taemin. Jaebum’s grin was lopsided as he stepped closer and delivered another punch that made Jinki’s head snap back. Jinki just returned his gaze to Jaebum, blood drifting down his chin between his closed lips.
“Fight back you coward”, Jaebum urged Jinki who just shook his head.
“No.”Jinki’s smile was so unlike him, cold and challenging, his teeth covered in blood. Taemin wanted to scream at Jinki to defend himself but all he could do was cry and stand there frozen as Jaebum kept hitting Jinki everywhere he could reach. Jinki didn’t do anything to stop the other and after a while Jaebum stepped back, frustrated look on his face.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jaebum hissed. Clearly Jinki’s lack of response made him uncertain.
“Don’t ever touch Taemin again”, Jinki just answered calmly. He was crouching a bit because of the pain but he kept his stare at Jaebum’s face, eyes piercing. “Stay away from him”.
Jaebum shook his head in disbelief. He started backing off towards the house and Junho followed him.
“Whatever. I don’t want to have anything to do with people like you anyways”, Jaebum spatted before turning and walking briskly inside with his friend. As soon as they were out of sight Jinki collapsed to the ground, holding his sides and grimacing. Taemin’s legs gave up as well and he dropped next to Jinki, putting his arms around the boy and letting the tears fall.
“Jinki hyung don’t ever do that again”, Taemin sobbed pressing his face against Jinki’s shoulder.
“Rather me than you”, Jinki muttered. Taemin just shook his head, unable to tell how wrong it all was. Jinki shouldn’t be the one suffering because people couldn’t like Taemin.
“You’re sleeping in my place tonight”, Jinki told him suddenly. Taemin looked at the other in surprise.
“I’m not letting you stay here in the same house with those bastards. Now let’s go get your stuff and leave”, Jinki’s voice was authoritative as he stood up and pulled Taemin with him. Taemin just followed the other quietly, feeling a stab of guilt every time Jinki winced in pain. People stared at them as they made their way upstairs. Taemin was just happy no one stopped them to ask what had happened. Taemin’s door was still locked and they could hear soft moans coming from inside. Jinki sighed and knocked loudly.
“Could you let me in just for a second? There are a few girls from SNSD visiting and I want to get their autographs in my CDs”, Jinki shouted. The noises stopped and then a half naked couple rushed out of the door, nearly pushing Taemin over.
“Idiots”, Jinki muttered as he pulled Taemin inside. “Get the stuff you need tomorrow.” Taemin obeyed and stuffed all he needed to his bag before locking his door from outside. Jinki gripped Taemin’s wrist and dragged him downstairs, out of the house and into his car.
“Send your brother a text saying you’re sleeping at my place and that I’ll give you a ride to school tomorrow”, Jinki commanded. Taemin did as he was told. Neither of them said anything more during the short ride to Jinki’s apartment. When they were inside Jinki went straight to the kitchen, leaving Taemin stand in the hallway unsure what to do. He sighed and dropped his bag and followed Jinki.
“I’m sorry for causing all this trouble to you”, Taemin apologized quietly as he leaned to the door frame and watched Jinki fill a plastic bag with ice.
“Don’t. You’re worth it”, Jinki just said curtly and closed his eyes in pain as he pressed the bag of ice to his face. His lips were swollen already and Taemin was sure the other would look like a mess tomorrow. Taemin really couldn’t understand why the other was ready to go through all this for him but he felt good knowing Jinki cared so much for him. If he just could somehow show how grateful he was, pay back for everything Jinki had done for him.
“No one has ever done anything like this for me before”, Taemin tried to fight the tears. He felt stupid for being so emotional but he couldn’t help himself. Jinki’s face softened and he walked to Taemin, gently wiping the corners of Taemin’s eyes with his free hand.
“Don’t cry, I can’t stand seeing you so sad”, Jinki muttered. Taemin forced a smile on his face and pushed Jinki’s shoulders to make him sit down in one of the chairs. Taemin fetched some paper from the drain board and started wiping off the blood from Jinki’s face. He couldn’t help brushing his fingers against the other’s skin while doing it. Jinki shivered under his touch and it made all the lust from earlier rush back into Taemin’s body. The boy leaned closer so their foreheads were pressed together. Jinki’s breath quickened as Taemin slid his hand behind Jinki’s neck, caressing the soft skin.
“Taemin”, Jinki murmured and pulled Taemin to sit in his lap, circling Taemin’s waist with his arms, ice bag forgotten somewhere. Taemin was sure nothing in the world felt better than having Jinki close, his breath hot against Taemin’s lips. Then Jinki seemed to snap back to reality and stood up, pushing Taemin away in the progress.
“No, this is not right”, Jinki said firmly, shaking his head as if to drive away all unwanted thoughts. Taemin felt disappointed and almost angry at the sudden rejection.
“Why?” Taemin asked and he knew he sounded like a sullen child. Jinki sighed and looked at him with desperation.
“You’re so young and I’m your support person”, Jinki told him, voice pleading. “You mean a lot to me, you know that. But I can’t be anything more than friends with you”.
Taemin wanted to argue. He wanted to shout at the other to stop being like that. He wasn’t a kid anymore and if Jinki wanted to help him nothing could be a better way. However, he knew that he was in no position to demand anything from Jinki so he just nodded.
“Yeah, friends”, he said bluntly and walked out of the kitchen and to the small living room. Jinki followed him and took a pair of pajamas for a drawer, handing them to Taemin.
“You can sleep on the bed, I’ll take the couch.” Taemin could hear Jinki say as he quickly changed his clothes.
“I take the couch”, Taemin informed and didn’t wait for a response before laying down, his face turned away from Jinki. He didn’t want the other to see the hurt in his face. He laid there for a while listening to the sounds of Jinki getting ready for bed. He felt a mixture of feelings fight for dominance. He was grateful that the boy had come there and defended him but at the same time he felt so bad at the fact that clearly Jinki didn’t want him enough not to care about his age or the fact he was the group leader.
“Good night, Taemin.” Jinki said quietly. Taemin muttered good night back before pulling the duvet over his head. It took him a long time to finally drift to sleep.
Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 1/2 I Chapter 3 2/2
A/N: This one is divided to two parts again, mostly because this first part is double as long as the previous ones itself. So be warned. I know this chapter calls for some cosntructive criticism so leave a comment Y/Y (and ofc feel free to leave some love as well <3). It is taemin-centric and it has some slight Ontae action in it. Enjoy!
Edit: Just wanted to add that I'm just using kpop idols' names here randomly, just so you know. I don't know what Taemin's bother's called for reals so I named him Chansung. Yeah. That's all.
Author hangoverday
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Minkey, Ontae
Summary: Key, Minho, Jonghyun and Taemin all attend an AA group led by Jinki. They are all different but struggling with the same problems. The road to recovery is not easy but on the way they realise the importance of friendship, and love.
A/N: The summary sucks if you still haven't noticed. So just go on and read this.
Taemin kept pacing around his room. He felt more and more anxious as the clock crept closer to 9 pm. That was when his brother’s party was supposed to start. Party that was held in their house, in the house that Taemin was supposed to spend his night in. Taemin knew that it would only take a few drinks to take away the worst edge of his nervousness. But the boy had made a promise to himself not to drink anymore, at least not if he was only using alcohol to escape an unpleasant situation. Taemin buried his face in his hands. He just wasn’t good at being around people he didn’t know. All the guests would be older than him and he only knew a few them from before. Taemin snapped his head up as his door swung open.
“Have you seen my Big Bang CDs anywhere?” his brother asked as he rushed into his room.
“Yeah, I have them. Let me get them for you”, Taemin answered and started going through his drawer.
“I knew it”, his brother laughed. “If I ever buy anything that you can dance to you nick it as soon as I look away”.
Taemin grinned as he handed the CDs to his brother. He admitted he had a bad habit of lending his brother’s stuff and forgetting to return it.
“So how many people you think will show up tonight?” Taemin didn’t manage to sound as nonchalant as he wanted to.
“Not sure, around 30 I think”, his brother answered, not missing the look on Taemin’s face but misreading it.
“I know you have school tomorrow, I ask people to keep it down”, he told Taemin, ruffling his hair.
“And I’m going to make sure no one gives you anything with alcohol in it”, his brother added and gave Taemin a wink before leaving.
Taemin let out a heavy sigh. He loved his parents and brother but they had no idea what Taemin was going through. When he had told them he wanted to attend an AA meeting they’d been taken aback. They didn’t think he had a problem with alcohol but had let him do as he wished. He could remember his mother saying that Taemin shouldn’t be worried, he was 18 and it was normal to party every once in a while when you were young. Like partying too much was Taemin’s problem, hell, he rarely left his room after school. He never drank too much, never threw up or passed out.
It wasn’t really alcohol that was his problem, it was just the bad solution he had come up with. He wanted it to change. He didn’t want to need to drink to become the person he wanted to be. He was sure none of his classmates sneaked into the bathroom to have three vodka shots before a speech in front of a class. None of them downed half a bottle of wine before P.E. class. He didn’t want to do it either. He didn’t even like drinking. He hated the way alcohol burned in his mouth and how it made his vision blur. He just couldn’t face people if he was sober. He hated himself for it.
He could hear voices from downstairs. First guests were arriving and Taemin wanted to hide. There just was nowhere to go. He should have gone to sleep in one of his friends’ house, he thought now as the panic was taking him over again. He had thought this would be a good opportunity to practice being social but he regretted staying. How was he supposed to make it through the whole night in a house packed with strangers? He decided he would just stay in his room and lock the door.
Taemin’s master plan turned out not to be so genius after all. He had been so nervous before he had barely eaten anything and now he was so hungry he felt weak. He knew he had to eat something or he’d probably faint. Not that it sounded such a bad idea. He could hear the music and laughter to his room and he wanted nothing less than to leave the haven his room was to him now. He got up from his bed and walked to the door with shaky legs. Taemin knew it was ridiculous how scared he was, it was his home after all. Sadly knowing the truth didn’t change it.
It took all the courage Taemin had to walk downstairs and into their living room. The whole place was full of people. The music was loud and the bass vibrated through Taemin’s body. People were dancing, bodies tangled together. All the available surfaces were covered in bottles and plastic cups. On top of their TV was a huge bowl of bunch. A few people nodded at Taemin as he made his way towards kitchen, trying to avoid bumping into anyone or drawing attention to himself. The kitchen was just as chaotic as the living room. People were leaning on the fridge door and Taemin didn’t want to ask them to move, that would mean actually opening his mouth.
“Hey there little brother”, Taemin’s brother greeted him happily as he stepped into the kitchen with some beautiful blonde girl. “You decided to join the party then, huh?” He was slurring a bit and Taemin could see he was starting to be pretty drunk.
“Nah, just came to get something to eat and then go back to my room”, Taemin told him, trying to put a smile on his face.
“You’re no fun!” his brother complained. “Oi, Jiyong move your ass. My brother needs to eat”, he shouted to the man blocking the way to the fridge. Taemin smiled apologetically to this person called Jiyong, who just laughed and moved to stand a bit further away. Taemin quickly took a bottle of juice and some leftover food and was about to leave as his brother stopped him.
“Taeminnie, I want you to meet this fabulous girl. Taemin, this is Saga, Saga this is my baby brother Taemin”, his brother introduced them. Taemin gave a polite bow and the girl giggled.
“Aigoo, you’re really cute”, the girl said in surprisingly good Korean. Taemin blushed and muttered a quiet thankyou. Why couldn’t he just answer normally? Taemin wanted to leave before he could make a total idiot out of himself. To his utter shock Saga took the food out of Taemin’s hands, gave them to his brother and started to drag Taemin towards the living room.
“Your brother told me you’re a really good dancer”, Saga was smiling warmly. “I used to be a dance teacher back in Sweden and I’d love to see you dance!”
Taemin felt like his heart would stop any minute. It would’ve been impossible for him to dance in front of Saga even if they were alone, he couldn’t possibly dance in front of all those people. The familiar sense of panic took him over, clearing every coherent thought from his head. All he could think of was how he was going to die if he couldn’t get away. People were making room for him as Saga dragged him in middle of the room.
“I need to do my homework”, Taemin heard himself mutter as his legs took him away from the mass, towards his room. He needed to get to his room, then he would be okay. Taemin felt like he was in middle of a nightmare, everything seemed to happen to someone else. His body moved in its own, taking him upstairs two steps at once. Taemin pushed the door with all his force but it didn’t open. It was locked.
“This room is taken”, he heard a male voice shout from his room, followed by a girl’s laugh.
Taemin backed off as if the door had suddenly burst into flames. There were people in his room, in the only place that was safe.
“Oh no oh no oh no”, Taemin kept muttering to himself. He felt like he would suffocate any minute and that was all he could concentrate on. Taemin was breathing like he had just run a mile but still he didn’t seem to get enough oxygen. Outside. The word flashed inside Taemin’s head. He needed to get outside, then he could breathe again. Taemin nearly run out of the house, not even registering the way people were looking at him or shouting after him. When he was finally outside he walked quickly to the bus stop near their house and collapsed to the bench. He was shaking, unable to stop the sobs that were escaping from his mouth.
Taemin sat there like that for a while. When his body finally stopped trembling and his breathing was back to normal Taemin took his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Eleven forty-six. He knew the guests wouldn’t leave until the early morning. It was cold outside and Taemin only had on a sweater. If he had to stay outside for long he would most definitely get sick. It still sounded like a better option than going back inside. It would be so easy to just get drunk and join the party, he had done it before. If he had a few glasses of punch and maybe a few shots he could sit on some dark corner and wait for people to leave.
“No, I can’t”, Taemin muttered to himself, shaking his head. “And I probably should stop talking to myself”, he added. It was a habit he’d have for all his life. It was a way of keeping company to himself. “I’m so weird, no wonder people want to beat me up”, Taemin sighed and pulled the hood to cover his head from the wind. He glanced at his phone and an idea struck him. Maybe if he called someone from his AA group they could pick him up and give him a ride to a hotel or something. They would understand why he couldn’t stay. He was willing to spend all his money if it meant he could get away from here. So, it would be Kibum or Jinki then, they were the only ones with a car. Taemin wasn’t even paying attention as his fingers automatically found Jinki’s number and then he could hear the sound of the phone dialing.
“Hey Taemin”, Jinki answered before Taemin could get second thoughts. The man’s voice was as soft and warm as always and it made Taemin instantly feel a bit better.
“Sorry for calling so late, am I interrupting something?” Taemin asked and wished for a no.
“I was just watching TV so I’m doing nothing important really. It’s nice to hear from you. Have you behaved yourself?” He could hear the smile in Jinki’s voice. Taemin smiled as well, forgetting about the coldness and how hungry he was.
“Well, yeah. My brother is just having a party right now and when I went to get food some people decided to lock themselves into my room so now I’m outside because I sort of don’t want to be inside and I don’t even know why I stayed I mean I should’ve known I couldn’t be here if I’m sober”, Taemin knew he was babbling but he just wanted to talk to Jinki and hear the other tell him everything was okay.
“So you mean you still haven’t drunk anything?” Jinki asked him. Taemin rolled his eyes. Of course the other would think about that first.
“No, I made a promise to myself and want to keep it. I just don’t think I can do it if I have to stay here, I was thinking if maybe you could give me a ride to a hotel or something”, Taemin couldn’t keep the nervousness out of his voice even if he tried. For a minute it was silent, all Taemin could hear was Jinki’s breathing.
“I think you should stay”, Jinki told him finally and Taemin felt like bursting into tears again. Jinki was supposed to understand him!
“Yeah maybe you’re right. I, I should be getting back inside now”, Taemin tried to sound like he didn’t care and was about to disconnect as Jinki spoke again.
“But if you want to I could come there and wait with you until you get your room back”, he added, voice soothing. Taemin’s heart skipped a few beats, but this time it wasn’t because of the panic.
“Are you serious, hyung?” Taemin blurted. Jinki laughed at the other end and it sent shivers through Taemin’s body. It was the best sound in the world.
“Of course I’m serious. Like I would just leave you there and see what happens”, Jinki said softly. Taemin was grinning like an idiot now.
“I just put some clothes on, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes or so”, Jinki told him before ending the call. Taemin jumped up and danced around the bus stop and he knew he was acting like a basket case but Jinki was going to be there soon and it was all he could think of.
It took Jinki 17 minutes to arrive. As soon as he stepped out of the car Taemin run to him and hugged him.
“You’re the best, Jinki hyung!” Taemin told him and flashed a smile. Taemin nearly purred as Jinki laughed and pulled him closer.
“I can’t believe you’re outside wearing only this!” Jinki exclaimed as he pointed at Taemin’s sweater.”We’re going inside right now, mister”. Taemin followed him obediently. He felt a bit nervous as they got closer the house and the music got louder. Then he felt Jinki squeeze his arm gently and he glanced at the man who was smiling at him.
“It’s okay Taemin”, Jinki muttered. Taemin nodded at him before opening the door. The music and chatter surrounded them as soon as they stepped inside. Taemin’s fingers were tingling in the sudden warmness. They walked into the living room were someone was stripping off his clothes as the rest of the group was cheering.
“I’m not so sure this is a good environment for you”, Jinki furrowed his brows as he eyed the half naked man doing hip thrusts. Taemin just laughed and pulled him towards the kitchen. It was a bit quieter there as most people had gathered to watch the show.
“You want something to drink?” Taemin asked Jinki who just shook his head. Taemin started eating the leftover food from earlier and he was nearly finished when he could see someone blonde getting closer to them.
“Shit, it’s that girl who asked me to dance for her earlier today”, Taemin cursed and for a minute thought about hiding in the cleaning closet. Though he suspected some drunken couple was occupying it already.
“I take it you didn’t just show your mad skills to her then?” Jinki sounded amused and Taemin shot him a glare.
“Of course I did. Everybody thought I was great and wanted to be friends with me”, Taemin told Jinki who grinned at him.
“What happened then?” Jinki asked and suddenly pressed himself against Taemin so someone could get pass them. Jinki’s hands were on Taemin’s hips and his body was warm against Taemin’s. Their chests were pressed together so firmly Taemin could feel Jinki’s heart beat. Taemin felt himself blushing even if the contact lasted only for a few seconds.
“I made a lame excuse and ran out”, Taemin muttered embarrassed. Luckily Jinki didn’t know he was mostly embarrassed at how much wanted to pull the older boy back.
“How come I can picture that quite easily”, Jinki teased him and Taemin just stuck out his tongue.
“Taemin, where did you go earlier?” Saga asked him as she walked to them, dragging Taemin’s brother with her.
“And who’s your friend?” his brother asked, trying to focus his gaze on Jinki.
“I’m sorry about that”, Taemin told Saga. It was amazing how much easier everything was when he knew Jinki had his back.
“I’m a bit shy so I don’t really feel confident to dance in front of so many people. I should have explained it to you, I’m sorry”, Taemin muttered and bowed a bit.
“Oh don’t apologize, I should have asked you if you even wanted to perform”, Saga smiled warmly. Taemin liked the girl and hoped his brother would be smart enough to hang onto her.
“Yeah whateveeer, who’s that guy, do I know you”, Taemin’s brother insisted as he eyed Jinki.
“I’m Lee Jinki, Taemin’s friend. And no, we haven’t met before”, Jinki told him, grinning as Taemin’s brother was swaying back and forth.
“Well nice to meet you. Kiddo’s friends are my friends”, Taemin’s brother told Jinki, his words slurred together. Saga rolled his eyes at Taemin who giggled.
“I’m taking him to rest for a bit, it was nice meeting you Taemin. And you too, Jinki.” Saga started guiding the older boy towards the living room.
“Oi, Jinki. No further than second base before Taemin’s 19!” They heard Taemin’s brother shout before the pair disappeared around the corner. Taemin blushed, hoping the earth would swallow him.
“Did he mistake me for a girl or what was that about?” Jinki asked amused.
“I might have forgotten to mention I like boys as well”, Taemin muttered, shifting uncomfortably in his spot.
“Oh, okay.” If Jinki was surprised he managed to hide it well. “That means Jonghyun is the only one who’s straight then.”
“Though he told me once that if a guy would be pretty enough, and he would be drunk enough, he might be able to forget about being straight for a few hours”, Taemin giggled.
“That means you’re staying away from him when he’s drunk, then”, Jinki laughed. Taemin’s eyes went wide as he realized that Jinki had just called him pretty. A huge smile took over Taemin’s face.
“You think I’m pretty”, he retorted, not really thinking what he was saying. It was Jinki’s turn to blush. Taemin was sure he didn’t look as adorable as Jinki when he blushed.
“It’s not just me who think so. You are pretty, Taemin”, Jinki muttered and ran his hand trough his hair, a nervous gesture. Taemin was sure he would burst, that’s how happy he was. He didn’t care anymore that they were in a party full of people, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Jinki thought he was pretty.
“Uhm, it’s a bit hot in here, should we get you a jacket and go outside?” Jinki asked, changing the subject.
“Sure, fine with me”, Taemin agreed. Anything Jinki could come up was fine with him.
They found him a jacket from the huge pile of clothes lying in the hallway and made their way to the swings in their backyard. Taemin’s father had put them there almost 12 years ago and it was a miracle they had survived this long. They just sat there, swinging and talking. Being with Jinki was like being drunk, only so much better. Taemin felt good about himself when he was with Jinki, he didn’t have to think what he could say or be afraid the other would make fun of him. Sure, Jinki teased him a lot but there was no malice behind his words, his eyes stayed soft. Taemin felt light headed from all the laughing and from the scent of Jinki’s cologne.
“You want to dance?” Taemin asked Jinki as one of his favourite songs started playing in the background.
“I think it’s better if I just watch you. Last time I danced I managed to trip over nothing and bumped into some girl, spilling my drink over her expensive designer dress”, Jinki sighed and made a face, making Taemin laugh.
“Was she angry?” Taemin asked grinning.
“Suppose so because she kept hitting me with her purse before her boyfriend saved me”, Jinki told Taemin who shook his head in disbelief.
“And I thought I’m the awkward one”, Taemin said earning a playful smack in the arm from Jinki. Taemin took hold of Jinki’s wrists and pulled him up.
“Just relax and let the music guide you”, Taemin smiled to Jinki as he started to move his body to the music. He closed his eyes and the other Taemin took over. The one he was when he was dancing, the Taemin who knew exactly what he was doing. They danced face to face for a moment, Jinki mostly just swinging along to the music while Taemin used his whole body, letting all the tension escape from him. Taemin was so concentrated on dancing it took a moment for him to realise that a slow song was playing and he was moving his body against Jinki, arms thrown around the older boy’s neck. Jinki had a shocked expression on his face but his hands were resting on the small of Taemin’s back, thumbs gently tracing circles. Taemin knew he should pull back, make a joke out of it but he felt like mesmerized as he stared into Jinki’s eyes.
They stopped moving, just standing there holding each other. The look in Jinki’s eyes made Taemin shiver as anticipation build inside him. Their faces where so close all Taemin could think of was how would it feel to kiss Jinki. Jinki brought his other hand to Taemin’s face, tracing his jaw with his fingers. Taemin felt feverish, he had never wanted anything like he wanted Jinki right now. Taemin slipped his hands inside Jinki’s jacket, caressing the hot skin. The muffled sigh that escaped Jinki’s mouth made Taemin press his body closer, desperate to lose himself in Jinki. A sudden noise made them rush away from each other and glance to the back door. Two figures were standing in the doorway but Taemin couldn’t make out their faces.
“It’s you!” the shorter person spat out, his voice painfully familiar.
“Jaebum hyung”, Taemin whispered, waves of fear quickly washing away the lust.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jaebum asked voice like steel.
“Seems like he’s busy being the little queer he is”, the other said mockingly. Junho hyung. The two people he hated most in the whole world. Taemin couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. He saw Jinki glance at him but Taemin didn’t meet his eyes.
“He lives here, why do you care”, Jinki answered for Taemin.
“He’s Chansung’s brother?!” Junho asked surprised.
“No wonder he doesn’t talk about you much”, Jaebum scoffed, walking closer to them. He stopped just in front of Taemin, eyeing him coldly. Taemin wanted to back off but stayed still with great effort.
“So is this your boyfriend then?” Jaebum asked Taemin, nodding towards Jinki.
“I’m his friend and I can speak for myself”, Jinki told Jaebum, stepping forwards a bit as if to protect Taemin.
“Shut your mouth, it’s the little freak here I’m talking to”, Jaebum snorted at Jinki. Taemin didn’t even have time to react before Jinki was grapping the front of Jaebum’s jacket, pulling him closer.
“Take that back right now”, Jinki hissed, eyes narrowing as he stared coldly at Jaebum. Junho was about to help his friend but Jaebum shook his head and motioned him to stop.
“I’m dealing with this person all by myself”, Jaebum muttered before pushing Jinki away from him and instantly landing his fist on Jinki’s face.
“Jinki hyung!” Taemin cried out and run to the older boy who gently pushed him aside.
“Just stay out of this”, Jinki told him not even turning to face Taemin. Jaebum’s grin was lopsided as he stepped closer and delivered another punch that made Jinki’s head snap back. Jinki just returned his gaze to Jaebum, blood drifting down his chin between his closed lips.
“Fight back you coward”, Jaebum urged Jinki who just shook his head.
“No.”Jinki’s smile was so unlike him, cold and challenging, his teeth covered in blood. Taemin wanted to scream at Jinki to defend himself but all he could do was cry and stand there frozen as Jaebum kept hitting Jinki everywhere he could reach. Jinki didn’t do anything to stop the other and after a while Jaebum stepped back, frustrated look on his face.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jaebum hissed. Clearly Jinki’s lack of response made him uncertain.
“Don’t ever touch Taemin again”, Jinki just answered calmly. He was crouching a bit because of the pain but he kept his stare at Jaebum’s face, eyes piercing. “Stay away from him”.
Jaebum shook his head in disbelief. He started backing off towards the house and Junho followed him.
“Whatever. I don’t want to have anything to do with people like you anyways”, Jaebum spatted before turning and walking briskly inside with his friend. As soon as they were out of sight Jinki collapsed to the ground, holding his sides and grimacing. Taemin’s legs gave up as well and he dropped next to Jinki, putting his arms around the boy and letting the tears fall.
“Jinki hyung don’t ever do that again”, Taemin sobbed pressing his face against Jinki’s shoulder.
“Rather me than you”, Jinki muttered. Taemin just shook his head, unable to tell how wrong it all was. Jinki shouldn’t be the one suffering because people couldn’t like Taemin.
“You’re sleeping in my place tonight”, Jinki told him suddenly. Taemin looked at the other in surprise.
“I’m not letting you stay here in the same house with those bastards. Now let’s go get your stuff and leave”, Jinki’s voice was authoritative as he stood up and pulled Taemin with him. Taemin just followed the other quietly, feeling a stab of guilt every time Jinki winced in pain. People stared at them as they made their way upstairs. Taemin was just happy no one stopped them to ask what had happened. Taemin’s door was still locked and they could hear soft moans coming from inside. Jinki sighed and knocked loudly.
“Could you let me in just for a second? There are a few girls from SNSD visiting and I want to get their autographs in my CDs”, Jinki shouted. The noises stopped and then a half naked couple rushed out of the door, nearly pushing Taemin over.
“Idiots”, Jinki muttered as he pulled Taemin inside. “Get the stuff you need tomorrow.” Taemin obeyed and stuffed all he needed to his bag before locking his door from outside. Jinki gripped Taemin’s wrist and dragged him downstairs, out of the house and into his car.
“Send your brother a text saying you’re sleeping at my place and that I’ll give you a ride to school tomorrow”, Jinki commanded. Taemin did as he was told. Neither of them said anything more during the short ride to Jinki’s apartment. When they were inside Jinki went straight to the kitchen, leaving Taemin stand in the hallway unsure what to do. He sighed and dropped his bag and followed Jinki.
“I’m sorry for causing all this trouble to you”, Taemin apologized quietly as he leaned to the door frame and watched Jinki fill a plastic bag with ice.
“Don’t. You’re worth it”, Jinki just said curtly and closed his eyes in pain as he pressed the bag of ice to his face. His lips were swollen already and Taemin was sure the other would look like a mess tomorrow. Taemin really couldn’t understand why the other was ready to go through all this for him but he felt good knowing Jinki cared so much for him. If he just could somehow show how grateful he was, pay back for everything Jinki had done for him.
“No one has ever done anything like this for me before”, Taemin tried to fight the tears. He felt stupid for being so emotional but he couldn’t help himself. Jinki’s face softened and he walked to Taemin, gently wiping the corners of Taemin’s eyes with his free hand.
“Don’t cry, I can’t stand seeing you so sad”, Jinki muttered. Taemin forced a smile on his face and pushed Jinki’s shoulders to make him sit down in one of the chairs. Taemin fetched some paper from the drain board and started wiping off the blood from Jinki’s face. He couldn’t help brushing his fingers against the other’s skin while doing it. Jinki shivered under his touch and it made all the lust from earlier rush back into Taemin’s body. The boy leaned closer so their foreheads were pressed together. Jinki’s breath quickened as Taemin slid his hand behind Jinki’s neck, caressing the soft skin.
“Taemin”, Jinki murmured and pulled Taemin to sit in his lap, circling Taemin’s waist with his arms, ice bag forgotten somewhere. Taemin was sure nothing in the world felt better than having Jinki close, his breath hot against Taemin’s lips. Then Jinki seemed to snap back to reality and stood up, pushing Taemin away in the progress.
“No, this is not right”, Jinki said firmly, shaking his head as if to drive away all unwanted thoughts. Taemin felt disappointed and almost angry at the sudden rejection.
“Why?” Taemin asked and he knew he sounded like a sullen child. Jinki sighed and looked at him with desperation.
“You’re so young and I’m your support person”, Jinki told him, voice pleading. “You mean a lot to me, you know that. But I can’t be anything more than friends with you”.
Taemin wanted to argue. He wanted to shout at the other to stop being like that. He wasn’t a kid anymore and if Jinki wanted to help him nothing could be a better way. However, he knew that he was in no position to demand anything from Jinki so he just nodded.
“Yeah, friends”, he said bluntly and walked out of the kitchen and to the small living room. Jinki followed him and took a pair of pajamas for a drawer, handing them to Taemin.
“You can sleep on the bed, I’ll take the couch.” Taemin could hear Jinki say as he quickly changed his clothes.
“I take the couch”, Taemin informed and didn’t wait for a response before laying down, his face turned away from Jinki. He didn’t want the other to see the hurt in his face. He laid there for a while listening to the sounds of Jinki getting ready for bed. He felt a mixture of feelings fight for dominance. He was grateful that the boy had come there and defended him but at the same time he felt so bad at the fact that clearly Jinki didn’t want him enough not to care about his age or the fact he was the group leader.
“Good night, Taemin.” Jinki said quietly. Taemin muttered good night back before pulling the duvet over his head. It took him a long time to finally drift to sleep.
Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 1/2 I Chapter 3 2/2
A/N: This one is divided to two parts again, mostly because this first part is double as long as the previous ones itself. So be warned. I know this chapter calls for some cosntructive criticism so leave a comment Y/Y (and ofc feel free to leave some love as well <3). It is taemin-centric and it has some slight Ontae action in it. Enjoy!
Edit: Just wanted to add that I'm just using kpop idols' names here randomly, just so you know. I don't know what Taemin's bother's called for reals so I named him Chansung. Yeah. That's all.