[temp] Discussion Post

[sherlockbbc_fic]

 Alright, so your head honchos haven't really decided yet whether or not a discussion post would be beneficial to have. HOWEVER, I'm putting this up in regards to an incident that would really benefit from a move, and I don't want to wait for all of us to make an educated decision

Comments

[thandie]

I agree with most of the people here, that topics must be discussed, not avoided.

Just a little general note from me, though: make the posts anon-free, because anon discussion *always* degenerates and never resolves anything. In the end everyone gets hurt and no-one learns anything from it, I'd say most times things even get worst than how they began.

Just my opinion though, because I don't participate in discussions where people can comment anon.

[thandie]

Ok, makes sense. :)

[aldehyde]

i have to disagree with not allowing anon comments. i agree that often people will take advantage of being anon to post trollish comments, but being anon also allows people to feel safe. i know several people on my own flist who have been raped or sexually abused but do not feel comfortable openly talking about their experience on a public discussion post. should such people not be allowed to voice their concerns just because anon commenting is turned off?

[anonymous]

First: I choose to be anon here because I have my own failings about self esteem and when I post a "kinky" prompt, I am a bit uncomfortable admitting I want said prompt.

I also am posting anon in this discussion not because of my lack of self esteem, but because I know of several people here...who know me....and right now I don't want those people--readers, friends the like--to know about an incident that occurred. May I one day admit it to my reading "public" perhaps--perhaps not.

When I was 16, I was brutally raped by my next door neighbor. As a result of the beating I am now wheelchair bound.

That rape changed me. Obviously.
However, I am not someone(which is why I am anon here) who chooses to discuss it openly. While the rape did change me, it did not make me. Yes, I am now wheelchair bound. But that doesn't make me.
I am not someone who shouts at the roof-tops "I was raped" I know many that do.

I was not upset by the post that led to this thread. But thats me I am not "triggered" by reading a prompt. Or watching a movie

[anonymous]

I like the idea of a trigger warning being posted on prompts.

I do have to say, I don't think it's too much to have a system in place to have users point out to a mod if they think a prompt is especially badly phrased in regards to offensiveness, though. After all, if the meme didn't need moderating, why would it have a mod? I don't think having a mod simply make a judgement call on a few things would be as bad a thing as you suggest.

I mean, I'm not saying 'every time someone is upset, ban the prompter!'. But if a lot of people say 'hey, this offended me, I think this is wrong' then perhaps asking the prompter if they'd like to re-post with a better phrased prompt isn't out of line IMO.

(I do think finding humour in rape really does go beyond kink, though, because it goes outside of fictional boundaries in a way rape fantasies don't tend to

[aldehyde]

along with your other helpful suggestions [i absolutely think triggery prompts and fills should have warnings in headers], thank you for mentioning anonymous prompting!

i know kink memes are meant to be a "judge-free zone" but allowing anonymous posting still helps tremendously.

[anonymous]

Very sensible comment, and thank you for making it.

I completely agree that kink memes should be a safe space for people to request anything without feeling ashamed. I don't have a rape kink, but I don't think people who do are evil. I have kinks for both incest and humiliation, and I know a lot of people who would be upset by some fics that I find ridiculously hot. I don't for a moment think rape prompts should be banned from the meme or anything like that.

But you're right, people need to be more sensitive. I mean, for me that's just a rule for life. I don't understand why it is so difficult for people to remember that their kink has real repercussions for real people? Treating sensitive topics with care and respect is not that hard. Nobody is telling anyone their kinks are wrong, just that they need to grow up and realise their kinks don't exist in a sparkly happy vacuum

[anonymous]

I'm thinking of moving on if these discussions are not treated as trolling. The trolls may be right. That rape should be treated seriously and I agree that it should be but that's not a discussion for a kink and prompting meme. Let that happen elsewhere. These discussions never go anywhere.

Anon 1 - Rape (insert incest, whatever controversial topic) fanfic is bad. It treats rape lightly.
Anon 2 - Well I have a rape kink
Anon 1 - Shares personal experience with rape
Anon 3 - Well ok but I was raped too and I have a rape kink
Anon 4 - Meta about rape culture and how having a rape kink means you're a part of it

And it just goes on and on and never goes anywhere.

The discussions should be either deleted or discouraged. If prompts are moderated and I language policed I will leave or join another kink meme that doesn't police its users. Another anon was talking about it and I would be happy to mod if it came to that.

[snowishness]

How this discussion started was not the prompt itself, but the phrasing, and whether that could be warned for better/phrased better.

The problem was not that there was a rape prompt. We don't intend to police for content of prompt, merely possibly to encourage people to be respectful with their phrasing of such prompts (like warning for them).

[anonymous]

I'm perfectly find with warnings in the subject but not policing wording because that never ends well.

[snowishness]

It also is not at all practical to police wording, and not at all how I want to spend my time or something I want to do.

Some people wanted to have discussion about wording of prompts. It seemed better to allow that discussion to continue in an area separate from the prompting than to squash it and hope that people's opinions on the matter would fade away.

It may just be that people want a clearer warning system, or whatever. I think it's useful to discuss.

(I really hope that made things clearer, rather than more confusing.)

- Snow

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT THIS

[chev_tries_hard]

What's this whole "Gottle o'gear" thing? I don't understand. Someone please explain it. WHY DID HE SAY IT OVER AND OVER? IS IT A TEASE OR A MEAN THING TO SAY?! I'm confused.

Re: I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT THIS

[chev_tries_hard]

Ahhh, I see now.
OOOOO I SEE NOW. OMG THAT JUST MAKES KGAHGKJHSKFH. OOOOOOO THAT'S BRILLIANT.

Re: I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT THIS

[wounded_melody]

Thanks for this info, I was wondering the same thing. Gah, the writers are just *brilliant*!!!

[anonymous]

One thing I'd like to add to this conversation:

Many people here seem to be working under the impression that to impose limitations on anyone is somehow 'unfair' and 'policing' and 'wrong' and such. But guys, I'd just like to point out: this is a privately run community on livejournal. There were certainly never any promises made you'd be allowed absolute free reign. If that worries you, by all means, leave. But there's a reason this community has an active and lovely mod, I'm sure, and please bear in mind it isn't censorship if they perform modly duties, you're not being oppressed; it's no different than if a thread containing a personal attack was removed, or deemed inappropriate, IMO.

I say this as someone who has moderated a kink meme before: that involves actual modding, people. As in, no, you don't have the 'right' to say whatever you want wherever you want if you weren't promised this in the first place.

[anonymous]

Yep mods can do that if they want but I would create a new community like they did with the SGA kink meme when the mod decided chubby chasing was just too offensive. Mods can do what they want of course. No one has rights but I can also create an open environment where people feel like they can prompt their kinks without being dogpiled and I will if they start doing what you are suggesting and they start deleting prompts.

[anonymous]

OK, go ahead. Noone's stopping you. *shrug*

[anonymous]

If they start censoring kinks and attacking people for their kinks here, I hope someone does start a new meme and that it's an actual kinkmeme, not a kinks-that-are-acceptable-by-a-certain-group-only meme.