Every night, I wait around for your phone call because I need it. I wish I could more articulately explain to you the depth of this need I have for you, but it scares me in the same ways it excites me. You're so beautiful. I want you without commitment. I want you on a pedestal. I want to see you whenever I like and without consequence. I'm ( Read more... )

This is not about love, 'cause I am not in love. In fact, I can't stop falling out. I miss that stupid ache.I am overwhelmed with a craving for power. Maybe even God. Or knowledge. Almost daily I'm presented with the feeling of being somewhere between what I am and what I could be. Yes, some kind of axiomatic rut. I miss the beauty of the people I ( Read more... )

Crying in the bathroom and throwing up, that is all that I can recall from last night. It was so bad that finally all I could do was gag - nothing more would come out. It was a violent chain reaction; the regurgitation a result of the knots in my stomach; those knots a result of a throbbing headache; the headache a result of the unstoppable parade ( Read more... )

Things just have a way of going to hell ( Read more... )

Everyday when he wakes up, he touches me. I thought it was that I didn't want to be touched in the morning. Now I realize I just don't want him to touch me anymore. I don't want him anymore. It's like that every day. I want to make him disappear, and he knows it. He's a useless diamond. I can't explain his radiance. But I can't say no to him, ( Read more... )

I could never have imagined this, not even in my dreams, and I’m grateful to you for not telling me about it back then. I couldn’t have taken it; I find it hard to swallow even now. Not because I think you’re wrong, but because I loved you before I even knew what love was. I used to show up at that rundown park you loved late at night because I was ( Read more... )

And somewhere inside her head she's dreaming of the autumn and the rain. And she's desperately fighting to keep from losing herself within the mundane. And she says she doesn't know where her dreams of yesterday all went. Maybe buried somewhere between the electric bill, groceries, and last month's rent. And she wonders if anyone out there could ( Read more... )