Thanks for piping in. The break up I referenced actually happened a few months ago, and I'm over that one, just discouraged about this stuff in general.
33 isn't old; my wife was 36 when we met. But it is getting old for unassisted pregnancy -- some women's ability to get pregnant diminishes quickly around this age; some remain very fertile into their early 40s.
Good luck, keep going to the places where the people you want to be with will be.
If you want to hang out with my kids, you're welcome to.
Yeah, the fertility thing was a very real concern when I broke things off with the person in Austin. I couldn't imagine waiting a few years with growing anxiety about that and the toll it would take on me if either he changed his mind or we had problems with this.
I'd wondered about some of this, but wasn't sure how to go about bringing it up.
I don't know. Roughly the same thing worked out for me, though I wound up going *back* to somebody who had dumped me.
And although I kept the poly requirement at the time, we've since become monogamous. I hate to say it, but a lot of child-rearing is surprisingly poly-unfriendly in a lot of ways. I meet (a few) people who make it work, but there are a lot of pitfalls.
Don't know what to tell you. I kept at the discouraging path until I lucked out, which is sort of a theme in my life. But it doesn't work for everybody -- not even me, sometimes. So I hesitate to recommend it.
Yeah, I've thought about your path a lot. I've even laid it out on the line with a couple of people in my past, but not as decisively as you did.
I've discovered something about myself in this process, that as picky as I am, there are still quite a few people that I feel I can work with, and I'm happy to commit and run with that. The boys seem to be a lot more flighty. I think I've also made the mistake of dating younger instead of older (and the less experienced ones, at that), when the wide world seems to have a lot more possibilities for them.
I may not have been ready to spring on the first promising guy that came along 5 years ago, either. By now, I've adequately satisfied the requirements for the optimal solution to the princess problem, so I'm good to go.
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Sorry that things didn't work out. (I feel like there should be more to say but I'm not coming up with anything)
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*hugs back*
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Good luck, keep going to the places where the people you want to be with will be.
If you want to hang out with my kids, you're welcome to.
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I'm living in Mountain View, which is apparently worlds away from SF despite my preconceptions, but it's still treating me well!
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I don't know. Roughly the same thing worked out for me, though I wound up going *back* to somebody who had dumped me.
And although I kept the poly requirement at the time, we've since become monogamous. I hate to say it, but a lot of child-rearing is surprisingly poly-unfriendly in a lot of ways. I meet (a few) people who make it work, but there are a lot of pitfalls.
Don't know what to tell you. I kept at the discouraging path until I lucked out, which is sort of a theme in my life. But it doesn't work for everybody -- not even me, sometimes. So I hesitate to recommend it.
Reply
I've discovered something about myself in this process, that as picky as I am, there are still quite a few people that I feel I can work with, and I'm happy to commit and run with that. The boys seem to be a lot more flighty. I think I've also made the mistake of dating younger instead of older (and the less experienced ones, at that), when the wide world seems to have a lot more possibilities for them.
I may not have been ready to spring on the first promising guy that came along 5 years ago, either. By now, I've adequately satisfied the requirements for the optimal solution to the princess problem, so I'm good to go.
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