Fic: The Crossroads Conundrum, Part 6
Title: The Crossroads Conundrum
Part 6: Laundry Room
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny
Rating: PG-13/Rish
Word Count: 4,374
Warning: Only Rish because I toss out the F-bomb once...sorry...
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Just another quick note to say thanks again to all those following this story who have left such lovely feedback! I am glad that this plot bunny I had wasn't as crazy as I thought it was! I hope you all continue to find it enjoyable! :)
Back to: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
We all need to look into the dark side of our nature - that's where the energy is, the passion. People are afraid of that because it holds pieces of us we're busy denying - Sue Grafton
Penny entered the laundry room with her basket balanced on one hip. It was a humid night, so she was well within the laundry room’s guidelines of ‘keeping her clothes on’ while doing her laundry, but she wasn’t garbed from head to toe either.
She wore a pink spaghetti strap top and multi-colored striped pajama shorts, her feet bare, blonde hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She felt nice and relaxed, sort of sluggish thanks to the weather and she was grateful she didn’t have to work tomorrow.
It would be nice to have the rest of the night to herself. She loved Leonard, but they had both agreed fairly early on in their relationship that it was best if they didn’t move in together. Not only because the very idea almost gave Sheldon a coronary, but because Penny liked having her own space.
Of course, with the wedding coming soon, that small space would evaporate. After all, she and Leonard were quite well into the later stages of their relationship and getting married surely meant finally moving in together.
Not that Penny liked to give it much thought.
In fact, she had hardly given the wedding itself much thought…
Penny sighed and shook her head. This was ridiculous! She was not doing this again tonight. She was not dwelling on these dark thoughts! She was going to do her laundry, go upstairs, make a margarita, watch a movie with Brad Pitt and then sleep in the next day, her whole bed all to herself.
Maybe she could even paint her toenails…
As she contemplated this she noticed that Sheldon was methodically loading one of the washing machines and she smirked. Saturday night. Laundry. Like clockwork. One had to admire someone who was so…precise.
A sort of light, jittery feeling started to buzz deep within her, but she chose to ignore it. Probably just a side effect from the humidity of the day and the natural warmth the laundry room provided. Not to mention she certainly reserved the right to have her nerves on edge - what with the wedding and all…
Once more Penny found herself feeling sort of lost and dark, but before she could think on it further, Sheldon turned and saw her, nodding his head slightly, “Penny.”
“Sheldon,” Penny returned brightly, plastering a smile on her face.
The last person she wanted to share her inner turmoil with was Doctor Sheldon Cooper, PhD.
Penny strode up confidently to one of the free washing machines, dumping her whole load in. Sheldon couldn’t restrain a sort of scoffing noise and Penny rolled her eyes. No doubt he had reservations about her mixing up her darks and whites. One would think that after all this time he wouldn’t even bother to be annoyed by it anymore, but Penny always reminded herself not to be surprised by Sheldon.
He was always, one and the same.
An immovable object, an unchangeable force, a…
“Penny, I see you traverse the treacherous laundry room floors barefoot. Must I remind you, yet again, the dangers therein?”
…a pain in her ass.
Penny turned to Sheldon, sighing dramatically, “No, but I’m sure you’re going to.”
“Penny,” Sheldon began and Penny rolled her eyes, he ignored this, “Penny, while I admit I have read some studies that suggest that walking barefoot is actually beneficial in some locals, I highly doubt it is a good idea in our building’s laundry room, as there is not only the possibility of injuring your feet on splinters, sharp-edged objects, and so on, but also the fact that this floor is most assuredly dirty and thus crawling with bacteria such as-”
“Sheldon, sweetie, is there any way I can get you to stop talking about this?”
Sheldon opened his mouth and Penny immediately cut him off, “Without my going upstairs to my apartment and putting shoes on?”
Sheldon’s mouth snapped shut and Penny shook her head, unable to keep herself from grinning a little, “Yeah, I thought not.”
Sheldon sort of deflated and, much to Penny’s surprise (and relief), he stopped talking about her bare feet. Okay, so, maybe she was a little wrong about him being completely unchangeable. After all, she had known him quite a long time now and some things had changed. Slightly. He at least seemed to catch on a bit quicker to sarcasm.
And recently he had begun to show the possibility of finally grasping the concept that sometimes people just wanted him to shut up. Now was a good example, as he stood to one side, hands in his pockets, eyes on one of the washing machines.
Penny poured in her detergent and was about to follow suit with her fabric softener when she paused and looked back at him again. He hadn’t moved an inch, eyes still fixed on his machine. She shook her head, amused, “What are you doing?”
He looked at her, eyes narrowing, “As if you didn’t know.”
Penny’s eyebrows rose and she put aside her fabric softener, folding her arms, “No. No, I really don’t.”
Sheldon sighed as if it was painful, “Penny, obviously you have forgotten the instance in which I stole your clothes and hung them from the telephone wire-”
Penny blinked rapidly, “Sheldon, how could I forget? I mean, it’s been-”
“Yes, still, before you interrupted,” Sheldon pointed out sharply, “I was about to say that while it has been a while since that period, I did remark to you on that occasion that there are strict guidelines within the laundry room as to not leave your clothing unattended, hence my standing here.”
Penny leaned back against the machine she was using, “Yeah, but do the guidelines also state you should stand there and glare at the machine like you have X-Ray vision?”
“Penny, that is absurd,” Sheldon shook his head, taking his eyes from her to focus them back on the machine, “X-Ray vision is not possible.”
“You think?” she asked dryly.
Sheldon made a noise of agreement, “First of all, though called X-Ray vision, the power has little to do with the actual effect of X-Rays and is instead presented as the ability to selectively see through certain objects as though they are invisible, translucent or not present, in order to see objects beyond, where in point of fact, actual X-Rays would oh, you were being sarcastic, weren’t you?”
“Lately you’ve been catching on to that a bit quicker, sweetie.”
“Well, talking about super powers distracted me,” Sheldon muttered, adding under his breath, “Cheeky woman.”
Penny heard him and couldn’t help but laugh a little, “It’s weird, all the times you and I have done laundry together on a Saturday night and I’ve never noticed you just hanging out here the whole time until your load is done. Guess I’ve always been in too much of a hurry-”
“’All the times you and I have done laundry together ’?” Sheldon quoted, “What are you talking about?”
Penny looked a little hurt, “Sheldon, I do my laundry on Saturdays too. Around the same time as you, in fact. I’ve always thought of this as sort of our little activity we do together, you know, me the girlfriend, you the best friend of my boyfriend-”
Sheldon reared his head back, looking alarmed, “As far as I know, we have no such pre-established relationship or meetings.”
“Well, I mean, sure we do,” Penny fumbled, “I’ve hung out with you down here lots of times!”
“Penny, I hardly ‘hang out’ with anyone. I have pre-arranged, established activities that I do with my friends and yes, upon occasion, you are present, but you and I, alone, do not have such a set activity, much less on Saturday night.”
“But…we both do our laundry on this night.”
“Not always. There are fifty-two Saturdays in a given year, of which, I have been present in this laundry room for every one of them. You, however, have only come twenty seven of those times, so, one could hardly say-”
“You know exactly how many Saturdays I’ve been in the laundry room?”
Penny had interrupted again, but this time Sheldon just stopped talking. He opened his mouth to continue but didn’t and Penny was more than just a little surprised, she was completely gobsmacked. Had she rendered Sheldon Cooper speecheless?
The moment didn’t last.
“Regardless, you do not come to the laundry room every Saturday. So, one must assume you also do laundry on one other day. Perhaps, in the swiftness of your day to day life, what with making out with my roomate, sitting in my spot, serving cheesecake and, more often than not, making something of a nuisance of yourself, you’ve lost track of those days, but I am sure they exist,” He paused, thoughtful, “That or you don’t wash your clothing often, though I prefer to go with my first hypthosis…for everyone involved.”
Penny sighed, still feeling stung, “Whatever.”
Sheldon blinked, “Have I…said something…not socially acceptable?”
Penny could only assume the pauses came from Sheldon having a hard time even saying anything remotely close to the fact that he had said something ‘wrong’, “No, Sheldon, you’re fine. I’m probably just…I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”
“Well, I’d imagine so,” Sheldon replied smoothly, “What with the wedding approaching, I’m surprised to find you down here at all.”
“Even brides have to do their laundry.”
“Hmm, yes, this would indeed be true, though I had not given it any real thought until you voiced it just now. I imagine there are some brides who have others take care of such mundane activities for them before the wedding day. However, you are a bit far off from that day yet.”
Not far enough, Penny’s thoughts hissed and she winced.
Sheldon did not notice, “Regardless, should you wish to have someone take care of such actitives for you when the time comes, I would highly recommend that you do not entrust my sister to handle your laundry duties. While you certainly have an ungentle hand when it comes to washing your attire, Missy would most assuredly destory any garments you own beyond repair.”
“Oh?”
“Well, she certainly had that effect on my clothing,” Sheldon scowled, “At one point, she cut out the emblems of all my super hero t-shirts. True, it was only in reaction to my having used the underwires of her earlier brassiers as a poor substitue for the true wiring needed to make a superconverter but what other materials was I to use? Nevertheless, I would highly advise you not to lay such duties upon her. And, thankfully, I have since managed to keep all my superhero shirts in tact.”
As if to acknowledge this, he pointed to the washing machine he was still eyeing and Penny looked at him now, finally noticing that he was actually not currently wearing a super hero shirt.
In fact, he was wearing a rather interesting dark blue shirt with some strange green geometric pattern on it and, despite the heat, he, as always, had a long sleeve shirt beneath. In fact, his brown pants looked like they might be corduory and she wasn’t quite sure how he could not be sweating.
But then, she didn’t imagine Sheldon Cooper could sweat.
He just didn’t seem the type.
Though, for how he was dressed now, she had to admit that, if he could keep from opening his mouth, he could pass for a pretty regular guy. He didn’t look so much outwardly like a nerd at the moment. It was kind of nice.
Penny turned her attention back to her laundry, pouring the fabric softener into the cap, watching it fill up to the little indented line inside.
She tried to imagine a time right before her wedding, a time in her life when she would be too busy to think of doing this. Another Saturday far away and then after that, after all of it, a Saturday when she would be down here again - doing not only her own laundry but Leonard’s as well…her husband’s…
Leonard.
Husband.
Penny licked her lips and felt unbearably heavy all of the sudden, her eyes blinking rapidly and she didn’t understand why. It felt like a task to keep them open or, no, worse, to keep them from watering. Why should they water?
But that was a foolish question; she knew exactly why. She had known for quite sometime now, she just kept denying it to herself. God, what was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just be happy? She had every reason to be! Leonard was a great guy - he was supportive and sweet and caring and she loved him and she should want to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him!
She shouldn’t feel this way.
What was wrong with her?
Sheldon, unaware of Penny’s troubles, spoke up, “You’re not adding the fabric softener now are you?”
Penny didn’t turn around, her shoulders instead hunching up at his words. Sheldon noted this with a frown. At one point, Raj and Howard had tried to explain to him the importance of body language.
He was aware that this gesture usually signaled annoyance, but, not hearing her specifically voice an objection, he continued, “Fabric softener is traditionally supposed to be added during the final rinse cycle, as they recommend on the packaging that the un-diluted liquid should not be poured directly onto your clothes-”
Sheldon continued his diatribe and Penny easily zoned him out, her thoughts resettling back on Leonard, the wedding, and the feelings therein. What should have made her feel fantastic instead made her feel…
Trapped.
Trapped and suffocated.
And all her friends knew, her family, and the wedding, the wedding - it loomed before her. This bright, white, shining spectacle that should have been love and joy, but was instead this insurmountable, overbearing nightmare. And she wanted to run. Run and run and run.
Escape.
She loved Leonard, but she didn’t…oh god, she didn’t.
She didn’t.
What was she doing?
What was she going to do? What was she going to do? What was she going to do?
What was she going to do!
Penny gasped as her eyes began to burn, filling up with tears as all these voices started screaming inside her head.
Sheldon, who was none the wiser, had not stopped talking, “…the long aliphatic chains are then oriented towards the outside of the fibers, imparting lubricity. In fact, Wolowitz, at one point misunderstading this, purchased an exorbitant amount of fabric softner…”
Penny gasped again, the sound watery and shaky but Sheldon, not seeing her face, misinterpreted the sound and his lips twitched slightly, “Yes, I thought it was quite amusing as well.”
Penny’s shoulders began to shake and the fabric softener cap fell from her hands, spilling everywhere as she wrapped her arms around herself. Sheldon frowned, “Penny, I don’t think it’s quite that funny, certainly not enough to cause you to loose control of-”
Penny turned, the wet tracks of tears evident on her face, her lips quivering. Seeing her face, Sheldon breathed out, “Oh.”
Oh.
Oh?
Oh! That was all he could say?
Of course that was all he could say! He was Sheldon Cooper for god’s sake and here she was again, crying in front of him like a sniveling two year old! Penny just wanted to curl up on the floor and die.
She didn’t look at him, her eyes instead focused hard on the concrete floor, more tears leaking out, dribbling down her chin and running along her neck and she hated absolutely everything.
Penny took in a loud, hideous gulp of air - a wretched sob - and she just wished Sheldon would offer his usual pathetic ‘there, there’ or that he would leave or that she could find the strength to leave herself.
But instead she just stood there, crying and crying and she couldn’t even see him anymore, her eyes so clouded with tears, eyelashes clumping together, rogue strands of blonde hair sticking to her wet face.
And then the most remarkable thing happened.
She felt it almost before it happened, that feeling one gets when someone is close, their presence just lingering on the edge of their senses. Sheldon, inches from her, and then there it was, his long fingers reaching out, tucking away a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek.
Penny let out a breath, startled at the feeling, and she looked up at him.
And he looked back, his blue eyes blinking and when he spoke he sounded so different. He sounded so unlike himself that it almost frightened her. His voice was normally so cooled, so sure, so put together. But this voice, this voice that came from him, trembled as it spoke, “I don’t know why I did that. My…apologies.”
His fingers left her and for some reason that made her feel…
Her eyes searched his face and she felt more lost than ever as that feeling returned in full force. That feeling that had bombarded her when she had first entered the laundry room and seen him. That light, jittery feeling and suddenly she realized what it was, her heart slamming against her ribcage.
It was…she was nervous.
He made her nervous.
Why should he make her nervous?
Was she nervous because she was worried he would say something that would annoy her? Was she nervous because she was worried he would say something that would make her angry? Was she nervous because she was worried he would say something that would make her feel stupid?
Or was she nervous because…
And then, oh god, she realized then that he had always made her nervous. That she had always felt this feeling around him. Underneath everything, running like a current, like background noise, like…
It was always there but, for some reason, tonight she had felt it more strongly than usual and why should she? What made tonight more special than any other night? He had done nothing, said nothing, nothing had happened to incite this and yet there it was , naked and undeniable.
Penny swallowed thickly, licking her lips and looking at him as if she had never seen him before.
And Sheldon looked back, looked at her as if he was dissecting her with his vision and she realized he was…confused. She didn’t think she had ever seen him confused and then his face began to tic unattractively and she could see it, just along the edge of his skin, almost imperceptible, a light sheen of sweat.
He spoke, “Leonard is my friend.”
Immediately Sheldon looked disgusted with himself, face twitching worse than ever. He had never said anything so bald, so stupid, so…obvious. Why had he said that? It had been unnecessary.
And yet he couldn’t take the words back. They just hung there between them. Those awful words. Like a physical barrier.
Penny’s hand rose, as if to wipe away the barrier, as if to defy it. Her hand hung there, floating in the warm, warm air, hanging between them and as she looked at Sheldon she realized this wasn’t what it was like with Leonard - or with any other man she could think of - this was terrifying.
She was terrified.
Part of her wanted to run away more than ever and yet another part kept her glued firmly to the floor. And the heat, the heat just sort of wrapped around her, a burning cradled insider her, melting her there, grounding her and she knew then she wasn’t going to move.
There was something stronger at work. Some sort of…gravity. Or force. Something between them…like static electricity, drawing them irrevocably closer, and she knew it wasn’t really that and if she said such a thing to him he would admonish her and…
Could he explain what it was?
She didn’t think so.
He looked as lost as she was and that was what scared her more than anything else. That Sheldon Cooper didn’t seem to understand what was happening now any more than she, Penny, did.
Yet she knew what she wanted.
She wanted it so badly that she ached with it, a painful throb, starting in the center of her heart to spread throughout her entire being.
Penny said his name then, said it in a tone she had never said it in before.
Sheldon didn’t move a muscle, the twitching having smoothed out - his face expressionless, and his eyes, those blue, blue eyes, pined her down. Her mind flashed to a butterfly held down to a corkboard by a needle. She had seen one once and it came to mind now, a strong clear image.
Her hand still rested in the air between them.
Penny was so afraid.
Her hand fell, it fell, it fell, it fell…
She touched his chest.
She felt something beneath her fingertips, a wild, fluttering beat, like wings.
Her eyes locked with his.
The air seemed even warmer, the smell of fabric softener strong.
Penny let out a shaky breath and she realized she hadn’t breathed in ages, her whole body breathless as her hand rose, moving oh so slowly, a gentle trek up to his neck and then to his face and she came closer, her body almost winding in to his as if on an invisible line.
And Sheldon’s hands, they rested lifeless next to his sides and she wished they would rise up. Rise up and hold her, touch her and oh god, how she wanted him to touch her.
Instead she cupped one side of his face, her palm slightly damp but he didn’t pull away, still looking at her, face blank, eyes so blue and he was taller than her. Much taller and she found her head angling back as she got closer, angling as she rose just that tiny bit on her feet, arching upwards.
Penny clumsily fell into him then; their nose bumping and she felt a strange mix of temperatures wash through her veins, cold and hot and it felt like being shocked over and over again. Everything sparking.
Her nose rubbed along his and it was silly to think of their noses rubbing together right now and wasn’t that how Eskimos kissed? And then she realized their face’s were touching and she swallowed, throat thick (constricted) as she breathed out and he breathed back and their breath was mingling, air mixing, unseen, oxygen dancing together.
She was breathing him in and he was breathing her out.
Penny felt dizzy; a roaring coming from somewhere and then her heart was compressed, squeezed, as her lips brushed his, just ever so slightly. And his mouth, Jesus, he opened his mouth and just that slight wet feeling…
Then one of the machines clicked off loudly and Penny drew back from him. Tore herself away, more accurately and the room felt as if it had been flooded with ice. Penny pressed both hands over her mouth, eyes wide.
Vaguely she became aware of the fact she was shaking her head vehemently, tears escaping her once more and she couldn’t stop looking at him.
Sheldon.
Sheldon. Sheldon. Sheldon.
Oh no.
No. No. No.
She couldn’t possibly…
And her body was still tossed in a furious storm of feelings, all of them exploding throughout her at once and he just stood there. Not moving. He didn’t move. But he had moved. He had moved at that last minute. His mouth opening and his breath and his heartbeat under her fingers and oh god, oh god, oh god Sheldon.
His blue eyes looked at her and she could see in them. See inside and oh Sheldon.
His slender chest rose and fell and he looked at her. He looked at her.
And there was so much there.
So much unsaid.
Her hands fell from her mouth but she didn’t stop shaking her head, didn’t stop denying and words left her mouth before she could even stop them, left from numb lips and she didn’t even remember her brain forming them so that they could be spoken.
“Sheldon…I’m so sorry…”
And then he did move.
He stood up straighter.
He stood up straighter than she’d ever seen. Tall and hard and, his jaw ticked and, oh god, what she saw in his eyes now.
Hurt.
And she couldn’t stand it anymore. Couldn’t stand the constant fuck ups and finally, finally, she fled.
She ran.
She ran and she ran and she ran.
She ran up the steps, ran to her apartment. Ran inside, slamming the door behind her and collapsing back against it. Shaking and crying and inconsolable.
Penny could still taste Sheldon on her lips.
Warm and sweet and oh so good.
And she wanted more.
Oh so much more.
She cried even harder, body wracked with it.
But then…
Then she had collected herself.
She collected herself and found her feet moving without her thinking about it. She had moved over to Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment late into the night. She crept in, crept into Leonard’s room. She found him sleeping and she eased herself into his bed.
She held him tight and kissed him and he had woken up and they had made love. Or so it would seem. It had been so frantic, so hungry so…desperate.
Was that love?
It was as if they had both been trying to prove something to one another.
And once he was asleep again she left.
She crept back out the same way she had crept in. She went back to her apartment and crawled into her own bed, a twisted wreck of a creature. She cried until she fell into an exhausted, uncomfortable sleep. The next day she awoke to find her laundry outside her door, cleaned and folded. There was no note.
Penny and Sheldon barely acknowledged each other for the next two weeks.
Then Sheldon left, left on a train, only now to awaken from a hazy dream of Penny’s lips on his, while, at the same time, miles away, Penny retold the chain of events to Missy.
At that moment, both took in a deep breath of air and wondered why they still imagined the smell of fabric softener hanging in the air.
Part 6: Laundry Room
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny
Rating: PG-13/Rish
Word Count: 4,374
Warning: Only Rish because I toss out the F-bomb once...sorry...
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Just another quick note to say thanks again to all those following this story who have left such lovely feedback! I am glad that this plot bunny I had wasn't as crazy as I thought it was! I hope you all continue to find it enjoyable! :)
Back to: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
We all need to look into the dark side of our nature - that's where the energy is, the passion. People are afraid of that because it holds pieces of us we're busy denying - Sue Grafton
Penny entered the laundry room with her basket balanced on one hip. It was a humid night, so she was well within the laundry room’s guidelines of ‘keeping her clothes on’ while doing her laundry, but she wasn’t garbed from head to toe either.
She wore a pink spaghetti strap top and multi-colored striped pajama shorts, her feet bare, blonde hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She felt nice and relaxed, sort of sluggish thanks to the weather and she was grateful she didn’t have to work tomorrow.
It would be nice to have the rest of the night to herself. She loved Leonard, but they had both agreed fairly early on in their relationship that it was best if they didn’t move in together. Not only because the very idea almost gave Sheldon a coronary, but because Penny liked having her own space.
Of course, with the wedding coming soon, that small space would evaporate. After all, she and Leonard were quite well into the later stages of their relationship and getting married surely meant finally moving in together.
Not that Penny liked to give it much thought.
In fact, she had hardly given the wedding itself much thought…
Penny sighed and shook her head. This was ridiculous! She was not doing this again tonight. She was not dwelling on these dark thoughts! She was going to do her laundry, go upstairs, make a margarita, watch a movie with Brad Pitt and then sleep in the next day, her whole bed all to herself.
Maybe she could even paint her toenails…
As she contemplated this she noticed that Sheldon was methodically loading one of the washing machines and she smirked. Saturday night. Laundry. Like clockwork. One had to admire someone who was so…precise.
A sort of light, jittery feeling started to buzz deep within her, but she chose to ignore it. Probably just a side effect from the humidity of the day and the natural warmth the laundry room provided. Not to mention she certainly reserved the right to have her nerves on edge - what with the wedding and all…
Once more Penny found herself feeling sort of lost and dark, but before she could think on it further, Sheldon turned and saw her, nodding his head slightly, “Penny.”
“Sheldon,” Penny returned brightly, plastering a smile on her face.
The last person she wanted to share her inner turmoil with was Doctor Sheldon Cooper, PhD.
Penny strode up confidently to one of the free washing machines, dumping her whole load in. Sheldon couldn’t restrain a sort of scoffing noise and Penny rolled her eyes. No doubt he had reservations about her mixing up her darks and whites. One would think that after all this time he wouldn’t even bother to be annoyed by it anymore, but Penny always reminded herself not to be surprised by Sheldon.
He was always, one and the same.
An immovable object, an unchangeable force, a…
“Penny, I see you traverse the treacherous laundry room floors barefoot. Must I remind you, yet again, the dangers therein?”
…a pain in her ass.
Penny turned to Sheldon, sighing dramatically, “No, but I’m sure you’re going to.”
“Penny,” Sheldon began and Penny rolled her eyes, he ignored this, “Penny, while I admit I have read some studies that suggest that walking barefoot is actually beneficial in some locals, I highly doubt it is a good idea in our building’s laundry room, as there is not only the possibility of injuring your feet on splinters, sharp-edged objects, and so on, but also the fact that this floor is most assuredly dirty and thus crawling with bacteria such as-”
“Sheldon, sweetie, is there any way I can get you to stop talking about this?”
Sheldon opened his mouth and Penny immediately cut him off, “Without my going upstairs to my apartment and putting shoes on?”
Sheldon’s mouth snapped shut and Penny shook her head, unable to keep herself from grinning a little, “Yeah, I thought not.”
Sheldon sort of deflated and, much to Penny’s surprise (and relief), he stopped talking about her bare feet. Okay, so, maybe she was a little wrong about him being completely unchangeable. After all, she had known him quite a long time now and some things had changed. Slightly. He at least seemed to catch on a bit quicker to sarcasm.
And recently he had begun to show the possibility of finally grasping the concept that sometimes people just wanted him to shut up. Now was a good example, as he stood to one side, hands in his pockets, eyes on one of the washing machines.
Penny poured in her detergent and was about to follow suit with her fabric softener when she paused and looked back at him again. He hadn’t moved an inch, eyes still fixed on his machine. She shook her head, amused, “What are you doing?”
He looked at her, eyes narrowing, “As if you didn’t know.”
Penny’s eyebrows rose and she put aside her fabric softener, folding her arms, “No. No, I really don’t.”
Sheldon sighed as if it was painful, “Penny, obviously you have forgotten the instance in which I stole your clothes and hung them from the telephone wire-”
Penny blinked rapidly, “Sheldon, how could I forget? I mean, it’s been-”
“Yes, still, before you interrupted,” Sheldon pointed out sharply, “I was about to say that while it has been a while since that period, I did remark to you on that occasion that there are strict guidelines within the laundry room as to not leave your clothing unattended, hence my standing here.”
Penny leaned back against the machine she was using, “Yeah, but do the guidelines also state you should stand there and glare at the machine like you have X-Ray vision?”
“Penny, that is absurd,” Sheldon shook his head, taking his eyes from her to focus them back on the machine, “X-Ray vision is not possible.”
“You think?” she asked dryly.
Sheldon made a noise of agreement, “First of all, though called X-Ray vision, the power has little to do with the actual effect of X-Rays and is instead presented as the ability to selectively see through certain objects as though they are invisible, translucent or not present, in order to see objects beyond, where in point of fact, actual X-Rays would oh, you were being sarcastic, weren’t you?”
“Lately you’ve been catching on to that a bit quicker, sweetie.”
“Well, talking about super powers distracted me,” Sheldon muttered, adding under his breath, “Cheeky woman.”
Penny heard him and couldn’t help but laugh a little, “It’s weird, all the times you and I have done laundry together on a Saturday night and I’ve never noticed you just hanging out here the whole time until your load is done. Guess I’ve always been in too much of a hurry-”
“’All the times you and I have done laundry together ’?” Sheldon quoted, “What are you talking about?”
Penny looked a little hurt, “Sheldon, I do my laundry on Saturdays too. Around the same time as you, in fact. I’ve always thought of this as sort of our little activity we do together, you know, me the girlfriend, you the best friend of my boyfriend-”
Sheldon reared his head back, looking alarmed, “As far as I know, we have no such pre-established relationship or meetings.”
“Well, I mean, sure we do,” Penny fumbled, “I’ve hung out with you down here lots of times!”
“Penny, I hardly ‘hang out’ with anyone. I have pre-arranged, established activities that I do with my friends and yes, upon occasion, you are present, but you and I, alone, do not have such a set activity, much less on Saturday night.”
“But…we both do our laundry on this night.”
“Not always. There are fifty-two Saturdays in a given year, of which, I have been present in this laundry room for every one of them. You, however, have only come twenty seven of those times, so, one could hardly say-”
“You know exactly how many Saturdays I’ve been in the laundry room?”
Penny had interrupted again, but this time Sheldon just stopped talking. He opened his mouth to continue but didn’t and Penny was more than just a little surprised, she was completely gobsmacked. Had she rendered Sheldon Cooper speecheless?
The moment didn’t last.
“Regardless, you do not come to the laundry room every Saturday. So, one must assume you also do laundry on one other day. Perhaps, in the swiftness of your day to day life, what with making out with my roomate, sitting in my spot, serving cheesecake and, more often than not, making something of a nuisance of yourself, you’ve lost track of those days, but I am sure they exist,” He paused, thoughtful, “That or you don’t wash your clothing often, though I prefer to go with my first hypthosis…for everyone involved.”
Penny sighed, still feeling stung, “Whatever.”
Sheldon blinked, “Have I…said something…not socially acceptable?”
Penny could only assume the pauses came from Sheldon having a hard time even saying anything remotely close to the fact that he had said something ‘wrong’, “No, Sheldon, you’re fine. I’m probably just…I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”
“Well, I’d imagine so,” Sheldon replied smoothly, “What with the wedding approaching, I’m surprised to find you down here at all.”
“Even brides have to do their laundry.”
“Hmm, yes, this would indeed be true, though I had not given it any real thought until you voiced it just now. I imagine there are some brides who have others take care of such mundane activities for them before the wedding day. However, you are a bit far off from that day yet.”
Not far enough, Penny’s thoughts hissed and she winced.
Sheldon did not notice, “Regardless, should you wish to have someone take care of such actitives for you when the time comes, I would highly recommend that you do not entrust my sister to handle your laundry duties. While you certainly have an ungentle hand when it comes to washing your attire, Missy would most assuredly destory any garments you own beyond repair.”
“Oh?”
“Well, she certainly had that effect on my clothing,” Sheldon scowled, “At one point, she cut out the emblems of all my super hero t-shirts. True, it was only in reaction to my having used the underwires of her earlier brassiers as a poor substitue for the true wiring needed to make a superconverter but what other materials was I to use? Nevertheless, I would highly advise you not to lay such duties upon her. And, thankfully, I have since managed to keep all my superhero shirts in tact.”
As if to acknowledge this, he pointed to the washing machine he was still eyeing and Penny looked at him now, finally noticing that he was actually not currently wearing a super hero shirt.
In fact, he was wearing a rather interesting dark blue shirt with some strange green geometric pattern on it and, despite the heat, he, as always, had a long sleeve shirt beneath. In fact, his brown pants looked like they might be corduory and she wasn’t quite sure how he could not be sweating.
But then, she didn’t imagine Sheldon Cooper could sweat.
He just didn’t seem the type.
Though, for how he was dressed now, she had to admit that, if he could keep from opening his mouth, he could pass for a pretty regular guy. He didn’t look so much outwardly like a nerd at the moment. It was kind of nice.
Penny turned her attention back to her laundry, pouring the fabric softener into the cap, watching it fill up to the little indented line inside.
She tried to imagine a time right before her wedding, a time in her life when she would be too busy to think of doing this. Another Saturday far away and then after that, after all of it, a Saturday when she would be down here again - doing not only her own laundry but Leonard’s as well…her husband’s…
Leonard.
Husband.
Penny licked her lips and felt unbearably heavy all of the sudden, her eyes blinking rapidly and she didn’t understand why. It felt like a task to keep them open or, no, worse, to keep them from watering. Why should they water?
But that was a foolish question; she knew exactly why. She had known for quite sometime now, she just kept denying it to herself. God, what was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just be happy? She had every reason to be! Leonard was a great guy - he was supportive and sweet and caring and she loved him and she should want to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him!
She shouldn’t feel this way.
What was wrong with her?
Sheldon, unaware of Penny’s troubles, spoke up, “You’re not adding the fabric softener now are you?”
Penny didn’t turn around, her shoulders instead hunching up at his words. Sheldon noted this with a frown. At one point, Raj and Howard had tried to explain to him the importance of body language.
He was aware that this gesture usually signaled annoyance, but, not hearing her specifically voice an objection, he continued, “Fabric softener is traditionally supposed to be added during the final rinse cycle, as they recommend on the packaging that the un-diluted liquid should not be poured directly onto your clothes-”
Sheldon continued his diatribe and Penny easily zoned him out, her thoughts resettling back on Leonard, the wedding, and the feelings therein. What should have made her feel fantastic instead made her feel…
Trapped.
Trapped and suffocated.
And all her friends knew, her family, and the wedding, the wedding - it loomed before her. This bright, white, shining spectacle that should have been love and joy, but was instead this insurmountable, overbearing nightmare. And she wanted to run. Run and run and run.
Escape.
She loved Leonard, but she didn’t…oh god, she didn’t.
She didn’t.
What was she doing?
What was she going to do? What was she going to do? What was she going to do?
What was she going to do!
Penny gasped as her eyes began to burn, filling up with tears as all these voices started screaming inside her head.
Sheldon, who was none the wiser, had not stopped talking, “…the long aliphatic chains are then oriented towards the outside of the fibers, imparting lubricity. In fact, Wolowitz, at one point misunderstading this, purchased an exorbitant amount of fabric softner…”
Penny gasped again, the sound watery and shaky but Sheldon, not seeing her face, misinterpreted the sound and his lips twitched slightly, “Yes, I thought it was quite amusing as well.”
Penny’s shoulders began to shake and the fabric softener cap fell from her hands, spilling everywhere as she wrapped her arms around herself. Sheldon frowned, “Penny, I don’t think it’s quite that funny, certainly not enough to cause you to loose control of-”
Penny turned, the wet tracks of tears evident on her face, her lips quivering. Seeing her face, Sheldon breathed out, “Oh.”
Oh.
Oh?
Oh! That was all he could say?
Of course that was all he could say! He was Sheldon Cooper for god’s sake and here she was again, crying in front of him like a sniveling two year old! Penny just wanted to curl up on the floor and die.
She didn’t look at him, her eyes instead focused hard on the concrete floor, more tears leaking out, dribbling down her chin and running along her neck and she hated absolutely everything.
Penny took in a loud, hideous gulp of air - a wretched sob - and she just wished Sheldon would offer his usual pathetic ‘there, there’ or that he would leave or that she could find the strength to leave herself.
But instead she just stood there, crying and crying and she couldn’t even see him anymore, her eyes so clouded with tears, eyelashes clumping together, rogue strands of blonde hair sticking to her wet face.
And then the most remarkable thing happened.
She felt it almost before it happened, that feeling one gets when someone is close, their presence just lingering on the edge of their senses. Sheldon, inches from her, and then there it was, his long fingers reaching out, tucking away a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek.
Penny let out a breath, startled at the feeling, and she looked up at him.
And he looked back, his blue eyes blinking and when he spoke he sounded so different. He sounded so unlike himself that it almost frightened her. His voice was normally so cooled, so sure, so put together. But this voice, this voice that came from him, trembled as it spoke, “I don’t know why I did that. My…apologies.”
His fingers left her and for some reason that made her feel…
Her eyes searched his face and she felt more lost than ever as that feeling returned in full force. That feeling that had bombarded her when she had first entered the laundry room and seen him. That light, jittery feeling and suddenly she realized what it was, her heart slamming against her ribcage.
It was…she was nervous.
He made her nervous.
Why should he make her nervous?
Was she nervous because she was worried he would say something that would annoy her? Was she nervous because she was worried he would say something that would make her angry? Was she nervous because she was worried he would say something that would make her feel stupid?
Or was she nervous because…
And then, oh god, she realized then that he had always made her nervous. That she had always felt this feeling around him. Underneath everything, running like a current, like background noise, like…
It was always there but, for some reason, tonight she had felt it more strongly than usual and why should she? What made tonight more special than any other night? He had done nothing, said nothing, nothing had happened to incite this and yet there it was , naked and undeniable.
Penny swallowed thickly, licking her lips and looking at him as if she had never seen him before.
And Sheldon looked back, looked at her as if he was dissecting her with his vision and she realized he was…confused. She didn’t think she had ever seen him confused and then his face began to tic unattractively and she could see it, just along the edge of his skin, almost imperceptible, a light sheen of sweat.
He spoke, “Leonard is my friend.”
Immediately Sheldon looked disgusted with himself, face twitching worse than ever. He had never said anything so bald, so stupid, so…obvious. Why had he said that? It had been unnecessary.
And yet he couldn’t take the words back. They just hung there between them. Those awful words. Like a physical barrier.
Penny’s hand rose, as if to wipe away the barrier, as if to defy it. Her hand hung there, floating in the warm, warm air, hanging between them and as she looked at Sheldon she realized this wasn’t what it was like with Leonard - or with any other man she could think of - this was terrifying.
She was terrified.
Part of her wanted to run away more than ever and yet another part kept her glued firmly to the floor. And the heat, the heat just sort of wrapped around her, a burning cradled insider her, melting her there, grounding her and she knew then she wasn’t going to move.
There was something stronger at work. Some sort of…gravity. Or force. Something between them…like static electricity, drawing them irrevocably closer, and she knew it wasn’t really that and if she said such a thing to him he would admonish her and…
Could he explain what it was?
She didn’t think so.
He looked as lost as she was and that was what scared her more than anything else. That Sheldon Cooper didn’t seem to understand what was happening now any more than she, Penny, did.
Yet she knew what she wanted.
She wanted it so badly that she ached with it, a painful throb, starting in the center of her heart to spread throughout her entire being.
Penny said his name then, said it in a tone she had never said it in before.
Sheldon didn’t move a muscle, the twitching having smoothed out - his face expressionless, and his eyes, those blue, blue eyes, pined her down. Her mind flashed to a butterfly held down to a corkboard by a needle. She had seen one once and it came to mind now, a strong clear image.
Her hand still rested in the air between them.
Penny was so afraid.
Her hand fell, it fell, it fell, it fell…
She touched his chest.
She felt something beneath her fingertips, a wild, fluttering beat, like wings.
Her eyes locked with his.
The air seemed even warmer, the smell of fabric softener strong.
Penny let out a shaky breath and she realized she hadn’t breathed in ages, her whole body breathless as her hand rose, moving oh so slowly, a gentle trek up to his neck and then to his face and she came closer, her body almost winding in to his as if on an invisible line.
And Sheldon’s hands, they rested lifeless next to his sides and she wished they would rise up. Rise up and hold her, touch her and oh god, how she wanted him to touch her.
Instead she cupped one side of his face, her palm slightly damp but he didn’t pull away, still looking at her, face blank, eyes so blue and he was taller than her. Much taller and she found her head angling back as she got closer, angling as she rose just that tiny bit on her feet, arching upwards.
Penny clumsily fell into him then; their nose bumping and she felt a strange mix of temperatures wash through her veins, cold and hot and it felt like being shocked over and over again. Everything sparking.
Her nose rubbed along his and it was silly to think of their noses rubbing together right now and wasn’t that how Eskimos kissed? And then she realized their face’s were touching and she swallowed, throat thick (constricted) as she breathed out and he breathed back and their breath was mingling, air mixing, unseen, oxygen dancing together.
She was breathing him in and he was breathing her out.
Penny felt dizzy; a roaring coming from somewhere and then her heart was compressed, squeezed, as her lips brushed his, just ever so slightly. And his mouth, Jesus, he opened his mouth and just that slight wet feeling…
Then one of the machines clicked off loudly and Penny drew back from him. Tore herself away, more accurately and the room felt as if it had been flooded with ice. Penny pressed both hands over her mouth, eyes wide.
Vaguely she became aware of the fact she was shaking her head vehemently, tears escaping her once more and she couldn’t stop looking at him.
Sheldon.
Sheldon. Sheldon. Sheldon.
Oh no.
No. No. No.
She couldn’t possibly…
And her body was still tossed in a furious storm of feelings, all of them exploding throughout her at once and he just stood there. Not moving. He didn’t move. But he had moved. He had moved at that last minute. His mouth opening and his breath and his heartbeat under her fingers and oh god, oh god, oh god Sheldon.
His blue eyes looked at her and she could see in them. See inside and oh Sheldon.
His slender chest rose and fell and he looked at her. He looked at her.
And there was so much there.
So much unsaid.
Her hands fell from her mouth but she didn’t stop shaking her head, didn’t stop denying and words left her mouth before she could even stop them, left from numb lips and she didn’t even remember her brain forming them so that they could be spoken.
“Sheldon…I’m so sorry…”
And then he did move.
He stood up straighter.
He stood up straighter than she’d ever seen. Tall and hard and, his jaw ticked and, oh god, what she saw in his eyes now.
Hurt.
And she couldn’t stand it anymore. Couldn’t stand the constant fuck ups and finally, finally, she fled.
She ran.
She ran and she ran and she ran.
She ran up the steps, ran to her apartment. Ran inside, slamming the door behind her and collapsing back against it. Shaking and crying and inconsolable.
Penny could still taste Sheldon on her lips.
Warm and sweet and oh so good.
And she wanted more.
Oh so much more.
She cried even harder, body wracked with it.
But then…
Then she had collected herself.
She collected herself and found her feet moving without her thinking about it. She had moved over to Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment late into the night. She crept in, crept into Leonard’s room. She found him sleeping and she eased herself into his bed.
She held him tight and kissed him and he had woken up and they had made love. Or so it would seem. It had been so frantic, so hungry so…desperate.
Was that love?
It was as if they had both been trying to prove something to one another.
And once he was asleep again she left.
She crept back out the same way she had crept in. She went back to her apartment and crawled into her own bed, a twisted wreck of a creature. She cried until she fell into an exhausted, uncomfortable sleep. The next day she awoke to find her laundry outside her door, cleaned and folded. There was no note.
Penny and Sheldon barely acknowledged each other for the next two weeks.
Then Sheldon left, left on a train, only now to awaken from a hazy dream of Penny’s lips on his, while, at the same time, miles away, Penny retold the chain of events to Missy.
At that moment, both took in a deep breath of air and wondered why they still imagined the smell of fabric softener hanging in the air.