Fic: The Journal
Good ol' clean-out-old-stories-day! Wrote this a while back - forgot about it - not too bad - posted it - you'll read, maybe? Like?
Title: The Journal
Author: she_burns1
Beta: lordstarfish
Pairing: Bret/Jemaine
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jemaine starts keeping a journal.
Disclaimer: I do not owns the ‘Flight of the Conchords’ or anything connected with them.
Prompt: un_love_you #19 - This isn’t about you at all
Notes: This is pretty much what journals are all about, at least to me. I knew as I wrote them that even though they provided an excellent place for brain (and heart, and psyche) dump, they were mainly a map of me. - Colleen Wainwright
Bret,
So, Dave gave me this blank book he found. It was in a big trunk someone turned into the shop. Dave didn’t think he could get much for it. He gave it to me and said that I looked like the type that would use it. Something about how all British assholes write a lot. New Zealand. New Zealand. How many times do I have to tell him?
Still, didn’t see anything wrong with taking something free. I’m actually surprised I’m even writing in this thing, but I have nothing better to do right now. I wrote ‘Bret’ at the top because ‘Diary’ is too girly and ‘Journal’ is-
I don’t know, just felt better to write ‘Bret’. It was the first thing that came to mind. Doesn’t matter. I probably won’t write much in here anyway.
~8~
Tuesday
Bret,
Bored again. Been like four days since I wrote. Figured maybe I should start putting the day? Don’t know why - just because I can, I guess. Can’t think of any good songs to write.
I’ve got ideas. Like, one idea is to write a song about a hot girl I saw on the bus. And another idea is to write a song about a hot girl I saw jogging in the park. Then there’s this other idea to write a song about a hot girl I saw drinking coffee. Huh. Maybe I could combine them all into one song about 3 hot girls?
Bret isn’t here. If he was, maybe I would be talking to him instead of writing in this. He’s off with some girl he met at Dave’s last party. She’s all right, I guess.
I mean, she’s not hot. In fact, she kind of reminds me of that other girl he dated. Don’t remember her name. Just remember she wasn’t hot. Dave says that there is a scale of hotness for girls that goes from 1 to 10. So, this girl Bret’s with now is like, a 5. Or maybe a 6. No, no - 5. She’s got this mole. The mole makes her a 5.
Anyway, I’m here by myself and there’s this squeaking noise coming from somewhere. It doesn’t scare me but - maybe I should stop writing in this and go tell Eugene about it.
Jemaine
~8~
Later Tuesday
Bret,
The squeaking was from the pipes. Eugene says he’s working on it.
Jemaine
~8~
Sunday, 22 October
Bret,
I put more of the date this time. I don’t really know what to write in here. What do you write in a blank book? I mean, words, obviously, but words about what? I guess I could jot some lyrics down. Seems weird to do it in a book though. I usually do them on a notepad.
And if they’re in this book, then Bret will want to see them and then he’ll know I’m writing in here. Not that I care if he knows but, yeah, this is my book and I don’t really want him to know I’m writing in it.
It’s like; people think we’re connected at the hip sometimes. I went to see Dave today and the first thing he asks is ‘where’s Bret’?
Who cares?
I don’t know - off with 5 girl (I looked back and read my last entry; I still can’t remember her name, so). I’m not Bret’s keeper. And Bret and I aren’t interchangeable. I’m my own person.
I could move out tomorrow, if I wanted. It’s not like I need Bret. I don’t.
I don’t know why I wrote that last bit, so I scratched it out. Seemed kind of silly.
Jemaine
~8~
Monday, 27 October
Bret,
Lights are bright and the night is right for makin’ love all…
Yeah, that lyric is lousy, see, knew writing lyrics in here was a bad idea.
Jemaine
~8~
Wednesday, 29 October
Bret,
Bret broke it off with 5 girl today - during our band meeting no less. It was embarrassing, but while Murray and I pretended we weren’t there, it gave me a chance to talk to Murray one on one and for some reason I mentioned this. He said that blank books are meant for all sort of things, but over all, people use them to write about themselves. Have I been doing that?
I just re-read some of the other things I wrote and I have been, but I suppose I could do more.
I’m Jemaine.
I like hot women. I like my bass. I don’t like penguins. I don’t like ‘Top Gun’. Well. Okay. I haven’t actually seen it but I’m sure I wouldn’t like it.
I have glasses. I’m friends with Bret. I live with Bret. I’m in a band with-
Huh.
What else?
I have a hard time using chopsticks. This is stupid. I’m done.
Jemaine
~8~
Monday, 10 November
Bret,
Why do people start letters with ‘Dear’? That word makes me think of the animal. It’s like letters are calling people deers and I don’t see how that’s a good way to start something.
Dear Bret.
Deer Bret.
I just keep picturing Bret with antlers.
Actually - that’d be pretty cool.
Jemaine
~8~
Tuesday, 11 November
Bret,
Wow, this entry is actually a day after the last one. Huh. My toothbrush is missing. I wonder if Mel found her way in here and managed to take it. She was just saying yesterday that I have interesting dental work - suspicious.
Anyway, bought a new toothbrush. It’s blue and so is Bret’s. Kind of worried I’ll mix them up one morning when I’m sleepy. Don’t think it’s a good idea to use the same toothbrush as Bret.
I mean, it’s gross. The brush would be in his mouth and then in my mouth, so, then, it’s like, we both shared something that was in each other’s mouths so it’s like our mouths were touching.
That whole last paragraph was weird.
Made it sound like I was talking about kissing Bret.
I’m going to stop writing.
Jemaine
~8~
Thrusday, 12 November
Bret,
Bad enough my toothbrush had to be replaced but Bret ate the last of my muesli. Bastard.
Jemaine.
~8~
Saturday, 13 November
Bret,
We’re never going to get a gig again, are we?
Jemaine.
~8~
Sunday, 23 November
Bret,
Something weird happened yesterday. I don’t know - wasn’t going to write about it but I have nothing else to do and I just saw this book peeking out from underneath my pillow so-
Yesterday Bret and I got up, had breakfast, then went out and saw Dave. After that we came back home, played our instruments a bit then went cycling in the park. We got lunch out, saw some girls, talked about some movies and ‘Labyrinth’ came up and Bret said we should watch it after dinner so I said okay.
Went home again and I made dinner because sandwiches are easy to make and then after we ate we watched the movie. It was a pretty bad copy because the VHS is really old but Bret really liked it.
We had turned the lights out so the screen would glow better, like we were in a real theater but it was Bret’s eyes that glowed and I kept looking over at him and his face was all happy and it was-
But the weird part was when I sort of relaxed and stopped looking at him and got really into the movie. I was watching it and we were both quiet. We were at the part where Bowie is dancing with the girl at the ball and I couldn’t quite get over how big her hair was when I realized my whole right side was warm.
I looked over and Bret was slumped up against me, fast asleep and - I don’t know how he got there. He was sort of cuddled wrapped around on me and I realized my hand was absently sort of stroking rubbing brushing on him. And it was good, it was comfortable.
But I didn’t move him. Not right away. I probably just wanted to finish the movie. I mean, I did finish it before I woke him. And when he woke up he looked at me with dreamy eyes and wiped at his mouth and smiled and said something about good dreams.
It took me forever to fall asleep.
And now this morning I’m still thinking about it and-
Yesterday was a good day.
Jemaine
~8~
Monday, 1 December
Bret,
I could draw in this book - do a drawing. Maybe draw something abstract. Like a map to a hot girl’s heart. It could be the cover for our album. When we make an album. If we make an album.
Actually, I suppose the cover would have us on it. The band, I mean. What would I wear?
Jemaine
~8~
Tuesday, 2 December
Bret,
Bret brought up Christmas and asked what I am going to get him.
I have no idea what to get him. Do I have to get him something?
He says I do and Murray says I do. So does Dave, Mel, Eugene-
Why does everyone take Bret’s side?
It just seems - I can understand presents for birthdays but Christmas - okay, I guess I can understand that too. But. Okay. So. I keep thinking about that night on the couch. When Bret fell asleep on me.
It just sort of floats into my mind now and again.
And then, it’s been, I feel like - it’s been weird since then.
Bret doesn’t seem to notice but - I feel - out of it. Maybe I’m getting sick?
I don’t know.
I’m having a hard time sleeping.
I’ve been having a hard time sleeping since that night. I just lie in bed and I feel cold. And there’s this phantom feeling on my right side. It’s even worse when I’m sitting on the couch watching TV. Or when I look at Bret and I can remember, I can almost feel-
~8~
Maybe it’s just a crush. People have crushes all the time. Randomly. Then they go away. This will go away. These feelings will…please let them go away.
~8~
Bret,
When do you know you’re in love?
Jemaine
~8~
Friday, 19 December
Bret,
The last couple of days have been-
Different.
It’s just - it’s like -
You know when you wake up? Or in those cartoons where the little light bulb clicks on over the character’s head? Maybe it was there all along. Maybe I’ve stared it in the face so much I never saw it.
Obvious. Overlooked. Undetectable. Sneaky.
That’s it - it was sneaky. Damn sneaky love. Oh god. That’s what this is, isn’t it?
I am so fucked fucked. No, I’m sticking with that word, because that’s what I am!
Dammit.
Jemaine
~8~
Saturday, 20 December
Bret,
The worst thing about realizations is that once you’ve realized them you’re stuck with them.
I’ve read this whole book. Every single thing I wrote.
Bret.
Bret. Bret. Bret.
Dammit.
What am I supposed to do? I can’t tell him. Right? No. Can’t tell him. How would that even go? Hey Bret, surprise I’m - I love-
He’s not - I’m not-
Gay.
Right. Except, I am. For him. Shit.
There’s no way this will end well.
Jemaine
~8~
Sunday, 21 December
Bret,
Bret knows I am writing in this. Or, at least, he has a vague idea. He caught me scribbling in it a few days ago. He hasn’t said anything about it and it’s not his business but-
I should throw this away. I should throw this damn book in the trash. I should forget it. Forget all of it.
~8~
What should I do?
~8~
Wednesday, 24 December
Bret,
You’re asleep. We left out the milk and cookies for Santa and I’m writing this to you because I realized, well, this whole journal - I’ve kind of been writing it to you from the beginning, I think.
I’m sorry I’ve been so weird the last couple of weeks. Avoiding you and barely talking to you and certainly trying not to touch you. Maybe when you read this whole thing you’ll understand.
Or you won’t. It’s not well written or anything.
It’s just, I think, I mean maybe…I have feelings for you. More than friendship feelings. More like, boyfriend to girlfriend type feelings, except that, you know, neither of us is a girl.
Yes, it’s definitely a bit gay. I’m sorry for that. I mean, if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Or weird. Or hate me. Please please please don’t hate me.
I promise I won’t-
I just-I wanted you to know.
This isn’t - I mean - I probably should have gotten you a better present for Christmas but - this is all I have.
You’re probably reading this and thinking I should have just gotten you the bobble head you saw at Dave’s. I went back to get it today but someone had all ready bought it - so you got this instead. Again. Sorry.
But-
Maybe-
Sorry - there’s some water stains on this page. Must have come from my drink-
I hope, no matter what, we can still be friends. I don’t say it aloud often, so, writing, it’s a bit easier. You’re my best friend, Bret and even though I have feelings for you, I hope you’ll still be my best friend even if you don’t feel the same way. Which you probably don’t.
This is the longest thing I think I’ve ever written.
Anyway, Merry Christmas,
Jemaine
~8~~8~~8~
Bret closed the journal and looked at Jemaine, who sat across from him. Jemaine’s hands were clenched into fists on the table top and he was sort of twitching. His eyes were downcast and Bret licked his lips, blinking, “So-”
“Yeah.”
“This…it was-” Bret sort of struggled with what to say and Jemaine was wishing with each passing second that he would just drop dead. He didn’t know why he had given Bret the journal. He didn’t know why he hadn’t just gotten rid of it. Thrown it away. He was crazy. Mad.
Part of him wanted to snatch the book back from his friend and say it was some practical joke, some ‘fake’ present and then scrounge around for Bret’s ‘real’ present. But instead Jemaine just sat there, eyes down, face hot, as he continued to feel stupid and utterly exposed.
Why had he done this to himself?
Then, when Bret spoke again, his heart stopped, “Jemaine…this was the best present you’ve ever given me.”
Jemaine looked up, mouth flapping silently for a few seconds. He wondered if he had actually just heard what he thought he had, “Did you…it is?”
Bret gave him a tiny little smile and then reached out, taking one of Jemaine’s fists and sort of uncurling it. He ran his fingers along his friends open palm a moment, then intertwined their fingers and held his hand, “Yeah. It is.”
Title: The Journal
Author: she_burns1
Beta: lordstarfish
Pairing: Bret/Jemaine
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jemaine starts keeping a journal.
Disclaimer: I do not owns the ‘Flight of the Conchords’ or anything connected with them.
Prompt: un_love_you #19 - This isn’t about you at all
Notes: This is pretty much what journals are all about, at least to me. I knew as I wrote them that even though they provided an excellent place for brain (and heart, and psyche) dump, they were mainly a map of me. - Colleen Wainwright
Bret,
So, Dave gave me this blank book he found. It was in a big trunk someone turned into the shop. Dave didn’t think he could get much for it. He gave it to me and said that I looked like the type that would use it. Something about how all British assholes write a lot. New Zealand. New Zealand. How many times do I have to tell him?
Still, didn’t see anything wrong with taking something free. I’m actually surprised I’m even writing in this thing, but I have nothing better to do right now. I wrote ‘Bret’ at the top because ‘Diary’ is too girly and ‘Journal’ is-
I don’t know, just felt better to write ‘Bret’. It was the first thing that came to mind. Doesn’t matter. I probably won’t write much in here anyway.
~8~
Tuesday
Bret,
Bored again. Been like four days since I wrote. Figured maybe I should start putting the day? Don’t know why - just because I can, I guess. Can’t think of any good songs to write.
I’ve got ideas. Like, one idea is to write a song about a hot girl I saw on the bus. And another idea is to write a song about a hot girl I saw jogging in the park. Then there’s this other idea to write a song about a hot girl I saw drinking coffee. Huh. Maybe I could combine them all into one song about 3 hot girls?
Bret isn’t here. If he was, maybe I would be talking to him instead of writing in this. He’s off with some girl he met at Dave’s last party. She’s all right, I guess.
I mean, she’s not hot. In fact, she kind of reminds me of that other girl he dated. Don’t remember her name. Just remember she wasn’t hot. Dave says that there is a scale of hotness for girls that goes from 1 to 10. So, this girl Bret’s with now is like, a 5. Or maybe a 6. No, no - 5. She’s got this mole. The mole makes her a 5.
Anyway, I’m here by myself and there’s this squeaking noise coming from somewhere. It doesn’t scare me but - maybe I should stop writing in this and go tell Eugene about it.
Jemaine
~8~
Later Tuesday
Bret,
The squeaking was from the pipes. Eugene says he’s working on it.
Jemaine
~8~
Sunday, 22 October
Bret,
I put more of the date this time. I don’t really know what to write in here. What do you write in a blank book? I mean, words, obviously, but words about what? I guess I could jot some lyrics down. Seems weird to do it in a book though. I usually do them on a notepad.
And if they’re in this book, then Bret will want to see them and then he’ll know I’m writing in here. Not that I care if he knows but, yeah, this is my book and I don’t really want him to know I’m writing in it.
It’s like; people think we’re connected at the hip sometimes. I went to see Dave today and the first thing he asks is ‘where’s Bret’?
Who cares?
I don’t know - off with 5 girl (I looked back and read my last entry; I still can’t remember her name, so). I’m not Bret’s keeper. And Bret and I aren’t interchangeable. I’m my own person.
I could move out tomorrow, if I wanted. It’s not like I need Bret. I don’t.
I don’t know why I wrote that last bit, so I scratched it out. Seemed kind of silly.
Jemaine
~8~
Monday, 27 October
Bret,
Lights are bright and the night is right for makin’ love all…
Yeah, that lyric is lousy, see, knew writing lyrics in here was a bad idea.
Jemaine
~8~
Wednesday, 29 October
Bret,
Bret broke it off with 5 girl today - during our band meeting no less. It was embarrassing, but while Murray and I pretended we weren’t there, it gave me a chance to talk to Murray one on one and for some reason I mentioned this. He said that blank books are meant for all sort of things, but over all, people use them to write about themselves. Have I been doing that?
I just re-read some of the other things I wrote and I have been, but I suppose I could do more.
I’m Jemaine.
I like hot women. I like my bass. I don’t like penguins. I don’t like ‘Top Gun’. Well. Okay. I haven’t actually seen it but I’m sure I wouldn’t like it.
I have glasses. I’m friends with Bret. I live with Bret. I’m in a band with-
Huh.
What else?
I have a hard time using chopsticks. This is stupid. I’m done.
Jemaine
~8~
Monday, 10 November
Bret,
Why do people start letters with ‘Dear’? That word makes me think of the animal. It’s like letters are calling people deers and I don’t see how that’s a good way to start something.
Dear Bret.
Deer Bret.
I just keep picturing Bret with antlers.
Actually - that’d be pretty cool.
Jemaine
~8~
Tuesday, 11 November
Bret,
Wow, this entry is actually a day after the last one. Huh. My toothbrush is missing. I wonder if Mel found her way in here and managed to take it. She was just saying yesterday that I have interesting dental work - suspicious.
Anyway, bought a new toothbrush. It’s blue and so is Bret’s. Kind of worried I’ll mix them up one morning when I’m sleepy. Don’t think it’s a good idea to use the same toothbrush as Bret.
I mean, it’s gross. The brush would be in his mouth and then in my mouth, so, then, it’s like, we both shared something that was in each other’s mouths so it’s like our mouths were touching.
That whole last paragraph was weird.
Made it sound like I was talking about kissing Bret.
I’m going to stop writing.
Jemaine
~8~
Thrusday, 12 November
Bret,
Bad enough my toothbrush had to be replaced but Bret ate the last of my muesli. Bastard.
Jemaine.
~8~
Saturday, 13 November
Bret,
We’re never going to get a gig again, are we?
Jemaine.
~8~
Sunday, 23 November
Bret,
Something weird happened yesterday. I don’t know - wasn’t going to write about it but I have nothing else to do and I just saw this book peeking out from underneath my pillow so-
Yesterday Bret and I got up, had breakfast, then went out and saw Dave. After that we came back home, played our instruments a bit then went cycling in the park. We got lunch out, saw some girls, talked about some movies and ‘Labyrinth’ came up and Bret said we should watch it after dinner so I said okay.
Went home again and I made dinner because sandwiches are easy to make and then after we ate we watched the movie. It was a pretty bad copy because the VHS is really old but Bret really liked it.
We had turned the lights out so the screen would glow better, like we were in a real theater but it was Bret’s eyes that glowed and I kept looking over at him and his face was all happy and it was-
But the weird part was when I sort of relaxed and stopped looking at him and got really into the movie. I was watching it and we were both quiet. We were at the part where Bowie is dancing with the girl at the ball and I couldn’t quite get over how big her hair was when I realized my whole right side was warm.
I looked over and Bret was slumped up against me, fast asleep and - I don’t know how he got there. He was sort of cuddled wrapped around on me and I realized my hand was absently sort of stroking rubbing brushing on him. And it was good, it was comfortable.
But I didn’t move him. Not right away. I probably just wanted to finish the movie. I mean, I did finish it before I woke him. And when he woke up he looked at me with dreamy eyes and wiped at his mouth and smiled and said something about good dreams.
It took me forever to fall asleep.
And now this morning I’m still thinking about it and-
Yesterday was a good day.
Jemaine
~8~
Monday, 1 December
Bret,
I could draw in this book - do a drawing. Maybe draw something abstract. Like a map to a hot girl’s heart. It could be the cover for our album. When we make an album. If we make an album.
Actually, I suppose the cover would have us on it. The band, I mean. What would I wear?
Jemaine
~8~
Tuesday, 2 December
Bret,
Bret brought up Christmas and asked what I am going to get him.
I have no idea what to get him. Do I have to get him something?
He says I do and Murray says I do. So does Dave, Mel, Eugene-
Why does everyone take Bret’s side?
It just seems - I can understand presents for birthdays but Christmas - okay, I guess I can understand that too. But. Okay. So. I keep thinking about that night on the couch. When Bret fell asleep on me.
It just sort of floats into my mind now and again.
And then, it’s been, I feel like - it’s been weird since then.
Bret doesn’t seem to notice but - I feel - out of it. Maybe I’m getting sick?
I don’t know.
I’m having a hard time sleeping.
I’ve been having a hard time sleeping since that night. I just lie in bed and I feel cold. And there’s this phantom feeling on my right side. It’s even worse when I’m sitting on the couch watching TV. Or when I look at Bret and I can remember, I can almost feel-
~8~
Maybe it’s just a crush. People have crushes all the time. Randomly. Then they go away. This will go away. These feelings will…please let them go away.
~8~
Bret,
When do you know you’re in love?
Jemaine
~8~
Friday, 19 December
Bret,
The last couple of days have been-
Different.
It’s just - it’s like -
You know when you wake up? Or in those cartoons where the little light bulb clicks on over the character’s head? Maybe it was there all along. Maybe I’ve stared it in the face so much I never saw it.
Obvious. Overlooked. Undetectable. Sneaky.
That’s it - it was sneaky. Damn sneaky love. Oh god. That’s what this is, isn’t it?
I am so fucked fucked. No, I’m sticking with that word, because that’s what I am!
Dammit.
Jemaine
~8~
Saturday, 20 December
Bret,
The worst thing about realizations is that once you’ve realized them you’re stuck with them.
I’ve read this whole book. Every single thing I wrote.
Bret.
Bret. Bret. Bret.
Dammit.
What am I supposed to do? I can’t tell him. Right? No. Can’t tell him. How would that even go? Hey Bret, surprise I’m - I love-
He’s not - I’m not-
Gay.
Right. Except, I am. For him. Shit.
There’s no way this will end well.
Jemaine
~8~
Sunday, 21 December
Bret,
Bret knows I am writing in this. Or, at least, he has a vague idea. He caught me scribbling in it a few days ago. He hasn’t said anything about it and it’s not his business but-
I should throw this away. I should throw this damn book in the trash. I should forget it. Forget all of it.
~8~
What should I do?
~8~
Wednesday, 24 December
Bret,
You’re asleep. We left out the milk and cookies for Santa and I’m writing this to you because I realized, well, this whole journal - I’ve kind of been writing it to you from the beginning, I think.
I’m sorry I’ve been so weird the last couple of weeks. Avoiding you and barely talking to you and certainly trying not to touch you. Maybe when you read this whole thing you’ll understand.
Or you won’t. It’s not well written or anything.
It’s just, I think, I mean maybe…I have feelings for you. More than friendship feelings. More like, boyfriend to girlfriend type feelings, except that, you know, neither of us is a girl.
Yes, it’s definitely a bit gay. I’m sorry for that. I mean, if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Or weird. Or hate me. Please please please don’t hate me.
I promise I won’t-
I just-I wanted you to know.
This isn’t - I mean - I probably should have gotten you a better present for Christmas but - this is all I have.
You’re probably reading this and thinking I should have just gotten you the bobble head you saw at Dave’s. I went back to get it today but someone had all ready bought it - so you got this instead. Again. Sorry.
But-
Maybe-
Sorry - there’s some water stains on this page. Must have come from my drink-
I hope, no matter what, we can still be friends. I don’t say it aloud often, so, writing, it’s a bit easier. You’re my best friend, Bret and even though I have feelings for you, I hope you’ll still be my best friend even if you don’t feel the same way. Which you probably don’t.
This is the longest thing I think I’ve ever written.
Anyway, Merry Christmas,
Jemaine
~8~~8~~8~
Bret closed the journal and looked at Jemaine, who sat across from him. Jemaine’s hands were clenched into fists on the table top and he was sort of twitching. His eyes were downcast and Bret licked his lips, blinking, “So-”
“Yeah.”
“This…it was-” Bret sort of struggled with what to say and Jemaine was wishing with each passing second that he would just drop dead. He didn’t know why he had given Bret the journal. He didn’t know why he hadn’t just gotten rid of it. Thrown it away. He was crazy. Mad.
Part of him wanted to snatch the book back from his friend and say it was some practical joke, some ‘fake’ present and then scrounge around for Bret’s ‘real’ present. But instead Jemaine just sat there, eyes down, face hot, as he continued to feel stupid and utterly exposed.
Why had he done this to himself?
Then, when Bret spoke again, his heart stopped, “Jemaine…this was the best present you’ve ever given me.”
Jemaine looked up, mouth flapping silently for a few seconds. He wondered if he had actually just heard what he thought he had, “Did you…it is?”
Bret gave him a tiny little smile and then reached out, taking one of Jemaine’s fists and sort of uncurling it. He ran his fingers along his friends open palm a moment, then intertwined their fingers and held his hand, “Yeah. It is.”