Restless to the Nth Power
So lately I've felt really restless.
I don't know why exactly, but I do know it is very frustrating and the thing that normally makes me feel better (writing) is not doing it for me.
It's not like I don't have ideas - obviously - I did a post recently with all the little plot bunnies that bounce through the field of my imagination but getting the enthusiasm to write them has been surprisingly difficult and, when I do write them, I feel, I don't know, unhappy, I guess - with how they're turning out and sounding and such.
I love FOTC, I love Bret & Jemaine, I mean, seriously, Bret & Jemaine are my first serious OTP, as I think I've written about them to an almost ridiculous amount...still...every time feels like a challenge...
I also am eyeing new fandoms and am finding myself scared into taking the steps to writing them - this is interesting to me, as I showed no such issue with Parks & Rec - still - I find myself filled with anxiety at even the idea of attempting to write fic in these new fields. Which fields? Well, there are two in particular:
1) Star Trek - This isn't a surprise - I saw the new movie in the theater 3 times now - I am, in many ways, sad that I can't give myself over to Uhura/Spock, but, you know me, hopelessly slash romantiaholic - so its Kirk/Spock all the way. Still, Star Trek is a MONSTER fandom - like Harry Potter or Buffy - don't think I am comfortable jumping into that pool just yet. It's like when I was obsessed with LOTR and Frodo/Sam - the characters and their world and their canon...just so overwhelming and scary.
2) Big Bang Theory - Okay, I discovered this show and love it. How can I not? Geeks? Awkwardness? Terrible social-interactions?! I am so there. I, in particular, love Sheldon, who is such an egotistical jackass and yet, so compelling. This fandom is more my size - small and sweet, but still scary in the essence that all the characters are geniuses and frankly, I am not, so I don't quite know how to work the delicious scientific jargon in. I also am conflicted as to who I would ship - the neat thing about this show is, most of the ships are open to me currently - Leonard/Penny, Penny/Sheldon, Leonard/Sheldon - all interesting. Frankly, Sheldon seems pretty asexual and, oddly, this makes him all the more interesting to me. Still - point? Scared to even attempt to write it!
So, in conclusion, I am restless and sad and wondering when I'll be out of it. That is all.
I don't know why exactly, but I do know it is very frustrating and the thing that normally makes me feel better (writing) is not doing it for me.
It's not like I don't have ideas - obviously - I did a post recently with all the little plot bunnies that bounce through the field of my imagination but getting the enthusiasm to write them has been surprisingly difficult and, when I do write them, I feel, I don't know, unhappy, I guess - with how they're turning out and sounding and such.
I love FOTC, I love Bret & Jemaine, I mean, seriously, Bret & Jemaine are my first serious OTP, as I think I've written about them to an almost ridiculous amount...still...every time feels like a challenge...
I also am eyeing new fandoms and am finding myself scared into taking the steps to writing them - this is interesting to me, as I showed no such issue with Parks & Rec - still - I find myself filled with anxiety at even the idea of attempting to write fic in these new fields. Which fields? Well, there are two in particular:
1) Star Trek - This isn't a surprise - I saw the new movie in the theater 3 times now - I am, in many ways, sad that I can't give myself over to Uhura/Spock, but, you know me, hopelessly slash romantiaholic - so its Kirk/Spock all the way. Still, Star Trek is a MONSTER fandom - like Harry Potter or Buffy - don't think I am comfortable jumping into that pool just yet. It's like when I was obsessed with LOTR and Frodo/Sam - the characters and their world and their canon...just so overwhelming and scary.
2) Big Bang Theory - Okay, I discovered this show and love it. How can I not? Geeks? Awkwardness? Terrible social-interactions?! I am so there. I, in particular, love Sheldon, who is such an egotistical jackass and yet, so compelling. This fandom is more my size - small and sweet, but still scary in the essence that all the characters are geniuses and frankly, I am not, so I don't quite know how to work the delicious scientific jargon in. I also am conflicted as to who I would ship - the neat thing about this show is, most of the ships are open to me currently - Leonard/Penny, Penny/Sheldon, Leonard/Sheldon - all interesting. Frankly, Sheldon seems pretty asexual and, oddly, this makes him all the more interesting to me. Still - point? Scared to even attempt to write it!
So, in conclusion, I am restless and sad and wondering when I'll be out of it. That is all.