Fic: Feels Like Home, Part 1/5
I GOT THE JOB! WOOT! So, to celebrate, I give you fic! And not even just one part, oh no, I'm going to post two parts tonight! ENJOY!
Feels Like Home
Part 1/5
Pairing(s) in the story: Jemaine/Bret (Flight of the Conchords)
Author Name/Pen Name: she_burns1
Beta: lordstarfish
Disclaimer: I do not own Flight of the Conchords, or Hbo, or Bret, or Jemaine…though I will glad take donations of Bret/Jemaine!
Rating of story: PG
Word Count: 992
Warnings: Nothing really, other than that this is the final in my set! Trilogies! Woot! The first story is Stages of a Storm followed by Never Did Run Smooth.
Brief summary: A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. - George Moore
“Ok, band meeting. Bret.”
“Present.”
“Jemaine?”
“Half-present.”
“’Half-present’?” Murray asked, perplexed.
Both Bret and Jemaine looked quietly amused, as Jemaine nodded.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m half-present.”
“Well…either you’re here or you’re not here…can’t be both.”
“Can’t I?”
“No! I mean, how is that even possible? It’s not…is it?” Murray seemed to fret over this for a moment then made up his mind, “No, no, it’s not. I’m just putting you down as fully present. And Murray, present. All right, now that that’s settled, I’ve got big news.”
Bret leaned forward, “Is it a record deal?”
“No.”
Jemaine leaned in closer as well, “Is it another kind of record deal?”
“What? There’s only one kind of record deal and my big news isn’t that!”
“What is it then?”
“Well, it’s sort of tied to item one,” Murray looked at his yellow pad, “Let’s see here, item one…a gig. Yes! I got you a gig. A very big one, actually.”
“Is it at Giant Stadium?”
“Ah, no.”
“Is it at Ginormous Stadium?”
“Jemaine, there’s no such place,” Murray shifted in his chair and leaned back, “I checked. No, no, it’s big not so much in size as it is in…travel.”
“Where is it?”
“Well, I’ll give you a hint. You’ve been there before.” Before Bret or Jemaine could speculate, Murray waved a hand, “No, you know what? Never mind, we’ll just waste time if we try that silly guessing game again. The gig is in New Zealand.”
Both Bret and Jemaine leaned back in their seats, Bret speaking first, “New Zealand?”
“That’s right! It’s a homecoming gig. Lots of bands do a gig where they started when they’ve reunited.”
Jemaine frowned, “How can it be a reunion? The band never broke up.”
“Well, I wasn’t with the band.”
“So it’s a reunion because you abandoned us as a manager?”
“Hey now! I didn’t abandon you!”
“Once you were with the Crazy Dogggz you got us one gig at the Library and then we didn’t hear from you in months.”
“Yes, but, well, I mean that’s not really an abandoning. Abandoning implies I, you know, left you on a doorstep. With Nuns. No, I didn’t abandon you.”
Jemaine was about to say more on that but Bret cut in, “Murray, why would we want to go back to New Zealand and do a gig there? We left there to come here and do gigs.”
“Yes, but Bret, sometimes you have to take a trip back. Show up on your ‘home turf’ as they call it. Show them you still know where you came from.”
“But we can’t afford to fly there and back.”
“Ah, about that, well, I still have a small amount of funds left over from my time with the Dogggz. Also, my Mum has actually sent a bit of money as well.”
“Your mother wants you to visit then?” Jemaine pressed as the whole situation started to make a lot more sense.
“That is a tiny part of it,” Murray conceded, “And Bret’s Mum chipped in as well.”
Bret sighed and rolled his eyes. Of course! Now it made sense why, when his mother had called yesterday, she had been dropping all these strange little remarks. At the time, he hadn’t understood why she kept saying things like ‘don’t forget a change of warm clothes’ and ‘what do you want to eat when I see you’. He had just thought she had been eating too much chocolate - always did make her a bit off.
Murray looked at Jemaine, “Nothing from your Mum, Jemaine, but I’m sure you’d be glad to see her again.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“Right! Nothing like getting to see hearth and home again, hmm? And I did get you a gig. It will be at the hotel where you’re staying.”
“You mean at the Fitzpatricks’?” Bret asked. The last he remembered the Fitzpatricks’ house was only a mile from the tiny airport and served as something of a hotel for travelers. In the busy seasons, people had to sleep in the barn. Bret wasn’t entirely turned off by this idea, as he had always liked animals.
Jemaine, however, was not as thrilled, “Murray, I can’t stay there. I dated all the Fitzpatricks.”
“What? Even John? Jemaine! I’m surprised at you! He’s old enough to be your Father! And he’s married! Has eight children!”
“No, not John. I meant Sarah, Michelle, Claire…”
“Oh, well, nothing to worry about. There’s a real hotel there now. Think it’s a Holiday Inn or something. They’ve got those cool commercials out now.”
“Never seen them.”
“Huh, well, I think the Dogggz did a commercial for them. Dunno, I was arranging it right before, well…”
“Before you got fired.”
“’Let go’,” Murray said crisply, “Anyway, you’ll be staying there, so no problem with the Fitzpatricks’, right? Now, I got our tickets. We leave on Wednesday, which is two days from today and we come back Sunday. I have printed up a list of necessary items I think you should include in your packing, as well as an itinerary.”
Murray handed both Bret and Jemaine two stapled packets of paper. They flipped through them a bit and Murray clapped his hands together and rubbed them, looking pleased, “So! This should be a great time!”
Neither Bret nor Jemaine’s face agreed with this statement.
Feels Like Home
Part 1/5
Pairing(s) in the story: Jemaine/Bret (Flight of the Conchords)
Author Name/Pen Name: she_burns1
Beta: lordstarfish
Disclaimer: I do not own Flight of the Conchords, or Hbo, or Bret, or Jemaine…though I will glad take donations of Bret/Jemaine!
Rating of story: PG
Word Count: 992
Warnings: Nothing really, other than that this is the final in my set! Trilogies! Woot! The first story is Stages of a Storm followed by Never Did Run Smooth.
Brief summary: A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. - George Moore
“Ok, band meeting. Bret.”
“Present.”
“Jemaine?”
“Half-present.”
“’Half-present’?” Murray asked, perplexed.
Both Bret and Jemaine looked quietly amused, as Jemaine nodded.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m half-present.”
“Well…either you’re here or you’re not here…can’t be both.”
“Can’t I?”
“No! I mean, how is that even possible? It’s not…is it?” Murray seemed to fret over this for a moment then made up his mind, “No, no, it’s not. I’m just putting you down as fully present. And Murray, present. All right, now that that’s settled, I’ve got big news.”
Bret leaned forward, “Is it a record deal?”
“No.”
Jemaine leaned in closer as well, “Is it another kind of record deal?”
“What? There’s only one kind of record deal and my big news isn’t that!”
“What is it then?”
“Well, it’s sort of tied to item one,” Murray looked at his yellow pad, “Let’s see here, item one…a gig. Yes! I got you a gig. A very big one, actually.”
“Is it at Giant Stadium?”
“Ah, no.”
“Is it at Ginormous Stadium?”
“Jemaine, there’s no such place,” Murray shifted in his chair and leaned back, “I checked. No, no, it’s big not so much in size as it is in…travel.”
“Where is it?”
“Well, I’ll give you a hint. You’ve been there before.” Before Bret or Jemaine could speculate, Murray waved a hand, “No, you know what? Never mind, we’ll just waste time if we try that silly guessing game again. The gig is in New Zealand.”
Both Bret and Jemaine leaned back in their seats, Bret speaking first, “New Zealand?”
“That’s right! It’s a homecoming gig. Lots of bands do a gig where they started when they’ve reunited.”
Jemaine frowned, “How can it be a reunion? The band never broke up.”
“Well, I wasn’t with the band.”
“So it’s a reunion because you abandoned us as a manager?”
“Hey now! I didn’t abandon you!”
“Once you were with the Crazy Dogggz you got us one gig at the Library and then we didn’t hear from you in months.”
“Yes, but, well, I mean that’s not really an abandoning. Abandoning implies I, you know, left you on a doorstep. With Nuns. No, I didn’t abandon you.”
Jemaine was about to say more on that but Bret cut in, “Murray, why would we want to go back to New Zealand and do a gig there? We left there to come here and do gigs.”
“Yes, but Bret, sometimes you have to take a trip back. Show up on your ‘home turf’ as they call it. Show them you still know where you came from.”
“But we can’t afford to fly there and back.”
“Ah, about that, well, I still have a small amount of funds left over from my time with the Dogggz. Also, my Mum has actually sent a bit of money as well.”
“Your mother wants you to visit then?” Jemaine pressed as the whole situation started to make a lot more sense.
“That is a tiny part of it,” Murray conceded, “And Bret’s Mum chipped in as well.”
Bret sighed and rolled his eyes. Of course! Now it made sense why, when his mother had called yesterday, she had been dropping all these strange little remarks. At the time, he hadn’t understood why she kept saying things like ‘don’t forget a change of warm clothes’ and ‘what do you want to eat when I see you’. He had just thought she had been eating too much chocolate - always did make her a bit off.
Murray looked at Jemaine, “Nothing from your Mum, Jemaine, but I’m sure you’d be glad to see her again.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“Right! Nothing like getting to see hearth and home again, hmm? And I did get you a gig. It will be at the hotel where you’re staying.”
“You mean at the Fitzpatricks’?” Bret asked. The last he remembered the Fitzpatricks’ house was only a mile from the tiny airport and served as something of a hotel for travelers. In the busy seasons, people had to sleep in the barn. Bret wasn’t entirely turned off by this idea, as he had always liked animals.
Jemaine, however, was not as thrilled, “Murray, I can’t stay there. I dated all the Fitzpatricks.”
“What? Even John? Jemaine! I’m surprised at you! He’s old enough to be your Father! And he’s married! Has eight children!”
“No, not John. I meant Sarah, Michelle, Claire…”
“Oh, well, nothing to worry about. There’s a real hotel there now. Think it’s a Holiday Inn or something. They’ve got those cool commercials out now.”
“Never seen them.”
“Huh, well, I think the Dogggz did a commercial for them. Dunno, I was arranging it right before, well…”
“Before you got fired.”
“’Let go’,” Murray said crisply, “Anyway, you’ll be staying there, so no problem with the Fitzpatricks’, right? Now, I got our tickets. We leave on Wednesday, which is two days from today and we come back Sunday. I have printed up a list of necessary items I think you should include in your packing, as well as an itinerary.”
Murray handed both Bret and Jemaine two stapled packets of paper. They flipped through them a bit and Murray clapped his hands together and rubbed them, looking pleased, “So! This should be a great time!”
Neither Bret nor Jemaine’s face agreed with this statement.