question of faith

[sharkbite]

So. I didn't get a call back, but Alex did.

I cried a lot last night. I've been having fits so far today where something will spur tears again and I have to push them back. So far, it sucks.

It hurts feeling as though I worked harder, prepared longer and more than anyone else (knowing that I did prepare more than a lot of the ones who received

Comments

[omgnorabeth]

you are doing SO MUCH with your life. DON'T GIVE UP! if you've been putting the better half of your life into this it would be an awful waste to just give up on your dreams. i'm sorry you didn't get a call back, but really that whole audition / callback system is so so many hits and misses. you really may just not be the 'look' or whatever they are looking for, it's literally the shallowest industry to try to get a job in. in addition to studying and preparing yourself try giving yourself an all YOU day where you try to avoid your roommate, and rest, pamper yourself, beauty rest, go outside, just RELAX. you really are amazing and there will be hundreds of no's for every yes. i recommend watching a lot of e true hollywood stories- a lot of times they will show parents talking about how distraught their kids would be and how close they came to pulling them out of the industry. it's an absolute ton of judgement and and pressure to put on yourself and i think you kind of have to shut yourself off

[spookster_z]

You should check out this awesome lady actress/artist named Jasika Nicole. Her website is JasikaNicole.com. If you go to the art section, and click "High Yella Magic", she has a really funny comic called Revlon about trying to start out as an actress. Maybe it will make you feel better, or at least have a laugh :)

[squeelybricheez]

If you are sure this is what you were meant to do, then go down in flames trying. If you aren't sure, follow what makes you happy and what drives you and you'll get somewhere, maybe where you wanted to be all along or somewheres completely different. I love you and you are one of the most ambitious people I know. And I agree with Nora, pamper yourself for working so hard.

[rabbittroop]

This is similar to how i'm feeling about my major lately. When i first started i thought I could draw ANYTHING, and i thought painting and drawing was fun, and that i was creative, and that with school i was going to improve and become amazing. But ever since i actually started at San Jose State I've felt behind all my classmates and have been extremely discouraged. I feel like my improvement rate is too slow, and that i don't have a chance in the world to be successful no matter how hard and how many hours of work i put into it. I am getting sick of my "all work all the time" life style that never has any sense of achievement. i am just fed up.

So i sortof know how you feel, except for the wanting to starve yourself part, i just want to gorge myself.

-jeanette

sorry this comment wasn't encouraging