Fic: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (6/17)
Title: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (6/17)
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 but I'm not really good with ratings
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack, Tosh, Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Pete, Jackie, Mickey, Jake, Martha, other characters
Spoilers: Anything up till the end of season three is fair game
Summary: The sequel to Mrs. Jones You've Got a Lovely Daughter and part of my Homesick In Heaven series. Rose is back, has been for awhile now, and the Doctor is none the wiser. She's making a go of it and life is good...as good as it can be without him by her side. But what happens when forces beyond her control bring the two of them back together? What happens when the Doctor finds out she's been hiding from him all these months? Will Rose reveal her deepest, darkest secrets to him before it's too late?
Author's Note: This story is dedicated to Foalen on Teaspoon, with continued thanks to SnowFox3 on fanficton.net for her constant support and flawless beta'ing. I'm changing it as I go along though, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.
~~~
Somehow he’s managing to keep his anger in check, but only just barely.
It’s not that he doesn’t understand the reasons why they’ve taken this prisoner, because he does. “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”
But, then again, “Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.”
And there definitely isn’t any good being done to this poor creature.
He can’t imagine that they’ve had anything but the worst of intentions here. Certainly an attempt was made to communicate with the alien that’s shackled to the wall. But when that didn’t work, as he’s sure it didn’t? When it refused to talk, refused to help them find a non-violent way around this whole situation? He doubts they left it at that, doubts they provided even the most basic of accommodations…bloody hell, the proof is standing right in front of him!
Worse yet is the nagging fear that they haven’t just taken a hostage but a guinea pig too; their own personal plaything they can try out all of their inhumane experiments on.
Taking a deep breath, both to calm himself and quiet the rage he can feel brewing in the pit of his stomach, he takes a tentative step forward. “It’s alright,” he begins, hands held loosely at his sides. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
If he was expecting a response, he’s found himself sorely disappointed. It simply stares at him, its face as impassive - as blank - as when he first entered the room. Though he had pegged this creature as an intelligent being, there’s something about the vacant look in its eyes that has him thinking otherwise.
“I’m the Doctor,” he continues as he takes another tentative step forward. He doesn’t want to frighten this being but he needs to get closer to it. As much as he doesn't want to consider the possibility, he may have to connect with it's mind. Though Pete had said they established some form of communication with this race, this one could very well be just a drone - a worker class - and may not be able to express itself verbally.
Whatever the means, and despite his reluctance to go traipsing about in another's mind, he knows he may be the only thing standing between peace and all out war.
“My ah, my friends here have made a horrendous mistake and...I'm sorry, so very sorry.” It may not even understand a word he's saying, but he has to keep trying. “You see these humans are so young, just toddlers in the universe, and they have yet to grasp the finer points of inter-galactic relations. I’m sure that…” Before he can finish - before he’s made it more then halfway across the room - the creature suddenly throws back its head, a strange sound issuing from its throat.
He hesitates, left foot poised to take another step. It appears as though it's in some sort of pain - from what he’s not sure of - but the Doctor is no fool and he’s not about to go rushing headlong into what may very well be a trap. Studying the chains attached to its arms and legs, he notes that they are securely attached both to the wall and to their prisoner.
He’s just about to ask if everything is alright when it finally dawns on him…the creature is laughing at him.
“Sorry, did I miss something?”
“No,” it replies stifling a laugh, “I just…I find you quite amusing, Doctor.” It's voice is strangely snake-like in tone. In it he finds the intelligence he had so desperately sought but, at the same time, something more sinister then he had expected.
“Ah, so you can talk. That’s good, very good…and just as I expected too. Definitely figured you to be a sentient being.” He moves in a little closer, then, when he's within touching distance, he holds out his hand in the universal signal for friendship and continues, “I’m the Doctor but I already said that didn’t I? ‘Course I did...and you are?”
Rose watches in horror as he attempts to reason with the creature in the other room, the creature she is now certain must be a Wraith.
She knows very little about their race but their name is cried out loud and clear throughout this universe, a warning to all who come in contact with them. They are not friendly the voices say, do not attempt to negotiate with them for they are blood thirsty and uncaring, taking what they want and leaving nothing but death and destruction in their wake.
If only she had had the chance to tell him. But things had moved so quickly, so unexpectedly, that she barely had time to register what it was in the other room before he moved to stand by it's side as its protector; it's poor, unsuspecting ambassador.
Relying on lip-reading alone - whether the sound on the monitor is just turned off or there isn’t any she’s not sure - doesn’t get her too far but she knows him well enough to recognize when the Doctor is in diplomacy mode. Despite her knowledge of the creature and its kind she can’t help but experience a twinge of hope that he’s making some sort of headway; that maybe he can manage to stop this war with words instead of weapons.
But she seriously doubts it.
“I have no name,” the creature replies, voice now completely void of the mirth it once held. It eyes his hand curiously before deciding on ignoring it completely. “We Wraith have no need of such silly titles.”
“Ah, so you’re a Wraith! Good, good. It’s good to have a…have a, well a name, I suppose, to go with the face.” He says, pulling his hand back and rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.
“Yes, though it is not one we have chosen for ourselves but one that the denizens of the planets we feed upon have given us.” It shifts, pulling back ever so slightly from him. “But what about you, Doctor? What is your name?”
“Just the Doctor.”
“But that is merely a title. Doctor. Used by one such as these to imply status. And you, you are not a human like the rest of these fools; similar and yet, at the same time, something else entirely.” The Wraith finishes, leaning back against the wall, the embodiment of relaxation.
But, as a Time Lord, the Doctor isn't so easily fooled. Despite its act of nonchalance, he can sense the internal changes that mark this Wraith as one who is afraid. The increased heart-rate, the salty smell of sweat, the increase in hormones that indicate the activation of it's base fight or flight instinct.
Her nerves are strung tighter then a properly tied Boy Scout knot and it isn’t helping the way he’s gotten himself right up close and personal with this life-sucking alien. But then again he’s always been so sure of himself, so certain that he’ll come out of a situation alive, that he never even considers the remote possibility that he might not. Of course, with the ability to regenerate into a new body instead of succumbing to death, who wouldn’t take a few extra chances?
He’s only got a few regenerations left though and she doesn’t think she can handle watching him change his face again.
“Who and what I am doesn’t matter,” the Doctor replies, softening his voice as he closes the distance between them. “What does matter is how they’ve been treating you here. Have they harmed you in any way?”
It laughs again though it definitely sounds strained to him this time. “As if these apes could do anything to hurt us. They are tiny, puny little things that serve no greater purpose then as food supply to us!”
He flinches at the use of the title he so carelessly gave to Rose all those years ago but forges on, intent on getting through to this being. “Ah, yes and that would be the other reason I’m here. I had been hoping that there might be a way, any way at all, that we could come to some sort of a peaceful end to this whole nasty invasion business.”
He takes another step closer.
She’s so alert to everything going on in the other room that she’s aware of what’s about to happen seconds before it does; not like it does her any good. Protocol dictated that Pete shut the door behind the Doctor, therefore barring the creature if it was to attempt an escape, resetting the security clearance in the process.
With no way to get to him, no way to warn him, all she can do is scream his name.
The Wraith appears to think his proposition over for a bit before nodding its head slightly in agreement. “Yes, I think there might be a way but I don’t know that you’d be agreeable to it.”
Watching in horror, she sees the scene play out before her agonizingly slow, as if someone's put the VCR on freeze frame. One second he's standing there so unsuspecting and the next his eyes have widened in surprise as he realizes things have taken a turn for the worse. Though the creature's arm moves ever so slowly, there's no time for him to turn away, no time for him to run. Then his face is screwed up in an expression of such intense pain that she rips her eyes away from the screen, unable to watch any longer.
Luckily Pete is moving in normal time, going through the long and lengthy process required to open the doors once more. She knows he's going as fast as he can but she's screaming at him to hurry and then he's done and Jack is ripping the door open and rushing in, gun drawn.
~~~
He's through the door the instant Pete's got it unlocked. Behind him he can hear others following but he's unsure who and he frankly doesn't care. All he can think about is the fact that, that...that thing is slowly draining the life right out of his friend and he has to stop it
Being a man more of action than talk Jack finds himself a good vantage point where he’s fairly certain he can get a clear shot at the creature and not harm the Doctor in the process. Aiming his gun, he doesn’t think twice about what the consequences of this sort of an action might be. He knows this isn’t the route the Time Lord would prefer, understands the man’s aversion to guns and violence but he’s not taking any chances here.
Without hesitation he fires, hitting the creature in the center of its forehead. For a brief moment it stands there stunned before crumpling to the floor, releasing its grip on the Doctor. Before he can hit the floor too, Pete’s there, arms going under the his shoulders. Mickey grabs the other half of the lifeless man and they quickly drag him out of the room.
~~~
She doesn’t even think about it, just rushes to his side the instant they lay him on the floor. Shoving Mickey and Pete out of her way she quickly kneels next to him and places her ear to first one side of his chest and then the other. Once she finds that both hearts appear to be beating normally she moves on, checking his breathing, reflexes, and pupils. Though she doesn’t know a lot about Time Lord physiology she uses all of her Torchwood medical training to assess him as best she can.
When she’s done and relatively sure he’s fine, she leans back resting on the heels of her feet, relief washing over her. He doesn’t stir but his breathing is even and he looks so peaceful it’s almost as though he’s merely sleeping. And for the briefest of moments it’s as though nothing has changed. No Canary Wharf, no Bad Wolf Bay, no rash decisions that destroyed her life and the lives of others…for the tiniest fraction of a second it’s just her and him again. The Doctor and his plus one.
Absent-absentmindedly brushing a stray lock out of his face, she isn’t aware of the first signs of him rousing. She jumps when he twitches, shattering the dream that she‘s found herself in. Before her brain has the time to process what’s happening, before she can even think to move away his eyes are opening and they’re staring straight into hers. She can feel it as her heart skips a beat and she almost loses it right then and there and leans in to kiss him. But then the cloudiness clears and there’s so much anger brewing in his dark orbs that everything comes rushing back to her and she stands quickly, almost tripping over her own two feet in an attempt to put some distance between them.
He turns his head away from her then and she’s grateful. What she doesn’t realize is that she’s missed the hope that started to soften his features and the pain that quickly followed on its heels. He makes an obvious effort not to look in her direction again as he pulls himself into a standing position, swatting away Martha’s attempts to help him.
“Have you gone off the deep end?” the recently licensed doctor asks, the shrill pitch of her voice bringing a slight smile to Roses’ face. At least she knows, has seen with her own eyes, that he’s definitely found someone who isn't afraid to stand up to him.
“I’m fine,” he replies, the annoyance in his tone unmistakable. “Learned a great deal about them in the process and I think we can end this war amicably.”
Rose raises her eyes to him with a start; he didn’t just…did he? No, she must’ve misheard him, must’ve misunderstood what he said. Because there is no way, after what just happened to him, that he’s still willing to be the peaceful diplomat with this alien and the rest of his despicable race. But then he’s huddled in a circle with Pete and Jack and Mickey. And they’re actually discussing it; his grand plan that’ll save the lives of everyone on Earth and the lives of those called the Wraith.
“He must be nutters,” she mumbles under her breath. It wasn’t meant for his ears, or anyone else’s either, but then again she didn’t exactly whisper it did she?
He turns towards her slowly, his expression blank. “Excuse me?”
“I said, you must be nutters! If not then that…that thing did something to you other then DRAIN YOUR LIFE,” she’s yelling now and she knows she really ought not to. This isn't trying to make amends, this isn't trying to find her place by his side again.
“Would you prefer to just kill them all?”
She doesn’t like the implication in his tone. “They can’t be reasoned with!” What does he think she is, some kind of mass murderer? But, then again, is he really that far from the mark? Was it just a lucky guess or did he see something more when he touched her then she thought he had?
She doesn't want to fight with him, doesn't want to keep on hurting him and herself like she has been. But the intense fear of his rejection - his disdain over who she's become - is rearing it's ugly head again and any control she may have had - over herself and the situation - is slowly slipping away.
“Didn’t you listen to anything Pete said? Weren’t you paying any attention at all earlier on? Or where you too lost in your own thoughts to bother with us stupid apes?” She finds she actually wants to see him flinch when she says this, wants him to see that even he is capable of making horrible mistakes like the ones she has. But he doesn’t and she gets that little bit angrier at him for it.
“I was listening but maybe I shouldn’t have been,” he takes a step towards her as she, at the same time, takes a step back. “Maybe I should have learned my lesson a long time ago and stopped. Listening. To. You. Stupid. Apes.” Another step from each of them and it’s as though they’re executing a well-rehearsed dance. “All you seem to want to do is kill, kill, kill. Anything that doesn’t look like you, anything you don’t understand becomes fair game for you and your weapons.”
She can feel the chair she was just sitting in pressed up against her bum and realizes that she can’t back up any farther. Just a few more steps and he’ll be nose-to-nose with her and she can’t have that. The thought of being that close to him again is making her legs shake with both fear and desire. If she's not careful she'll end up letting him get too close and then everything, all the dark secrets she's carried in her heart for so long, will be laid bare for his taking. Lucky for her, she knows how to make him stop dead in his tracks, knows just what to say to have him running in the other direction…away from her.
“If we’re that bad, that much of a threat to the universe,” she snarls as viciously as she can, “Then why don’t you jus’ destroy us like you destroyed your own people!”
Chapter Seven...
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 but I'm not really good with ratings
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack, Tosh, Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Pete, Jackie, Mickey, Jake, Martha, other characters
Spoilers: Anything up till the end of season three is fair game
Summary: The sequel to Mrs. Jones You've Got a Lovely Daughter and part of my Homesick In Heaven series. Rose is back, has been for awhile now, and the Doctor is none the wiser. She's making a go of it and life is good...as good as it can be without him by her side. But what happens when forces beyond her control bring the two of them back together? What happens when the Doctor finds out she's been hiding from him all these months? Will Rose reveal her deepest, darkest secrets to him before it's too late?
Author's Note: This story is dedicated to Foalen on Teaspoon, with continued thanks to SnowFox3 on fanficton.net for her constant support and flawless beta'ing. I'm changing it as I go along though, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.
~~~
Somehow he’s managing to keep his anger in check, but only just barely.
It’s not that he doesn’t understand the reasons why they’ve taken this prisoner, because he does. “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”
But, then again, “Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.”
And there definitely isn’t any good being done to this poor creature.
He can’t imagine that they’ve had anything but the worst of intentions here. Certainly an attempt was made to communicate with the alien that’s shackled to the wall. But when that didn’t work, as he’s sure it didn’t? When it refused to talk, refused to help them find a non-violent way around this whole situation? He doubts they left it at that, doubts they provided even the most basic of accommodations…bloody hell, the proof is standing right in front of him!
Worse yet is the nagging fear that they haven’t just taken a hostage but a guinea pig too; their own personal plaything they can try out all of their inhumane experiments on.
Taking a deep breath, both to calm himself and quiet the rage he can feel brewing in the pit of his stomach, he takes a tentative step forward. “It’s alright,” he begins, hands held loosely at his sides. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
If he was expecting a response, he’s found himself sorely disappointed. It simply stares at him, its face as impassive - as blank - as when he first entered the room. Though he had pegged this creature as an intelligent being, there’s something about the vacant look in its eyes that has him thinking otherwise.
“I’m the Doctor,” he continues as he takes another tentative step forward. He doesn’t want to frighten this being but he needs to get closer to it. As much as he doesn't want to consider the possibility, he may have to connect with it's mind. Though Pete had said they established some form of communication with this race, this one could very well be just a drone - a worker class - and may not be able to express itself verbally.
Whatever the means, and despite his reluctance to go traipsing about in another's mind, he knows he may be the only thing standing between peace and all out war.
“My ah, my friends here have made a horrendous mistake and...I'm sorry, so very sorry.” It may not even understand a word he's saying, but he has to keep trying. “You see these humans are so young, just toddlers in the universe, and they have yet to grasp the finer points of inter-galactic relations. I’m sure that…” Before he can finish - before he’s made it more then halfway across the room - the creature suddenly throws back its head, a strange sound issuing from its throat.
He hesitates, left foot poised to take another step. It appears as though it's in some sort of pain - from what he’s not sure of - but the Doctor is no fool and he’s not about to go rushing headlong into what may very well be a trap. Studying the chains attached to its arms and legs, he notes that they are securely attached both to the wall and to their prisoner.
He’s just about to ask if everything is alright when it finally dawns on him…the creature is laughing at him.
“Sorry, did I miss something?”
“No,” it replies stifling a laugh, “I just…I find you quite amusing, Doctor.” It's voice is strangely snake-like in tone. In it he finds the intelligence he had so desperately sought but, at the same time, something more sinister then he had expected.
“Ah, so you can talk. That’s good, very good…and just as I expected too. Definitely figured you to be a sentient being.” He moves in a little closer, then, when he's within touching distance, he holds out his hand in the universal signal for friendship and continues, “I’m the Doctor but I already said that didn’t I? ‘Course I did...and you are?”
Rose watches in horror as he attempts to reason with the creature in the other room, the creature she is now certain must be a Wraith.
She knows very little about their race but their name is cried out loud and clear throughout this universe, a warning to all who come in contact with them. They are not friendly the voices say, do not attempt to negotiate with them for they are blood thirsty and uncaring, taking what they want and leaving nothing but death and destruction in their wake.
If only she had had the chance to tell him. But things had moved so quickly, so unexpectedly, that she barely had time to register what it was in the other room before he moved to stand by it's side as its protector; it's poor, unsuspecting ambassador.
Relying on lip-reading alone - whether the sound on the monitor is just turned off or there isn’t any she’s not sure - doesn’t get her too far but she knows him well enough to recognize when the Doctor is in diplomacy mode. Despite her knowledge of the creature and its kind she can’t help but experience a twinge of hope that he’s making some sort of headway; that maybe he can manage to stop this war with words instead of weapons.
But she seriously doubts it.
“I have no name,” the creature replies, voice now completely void of the mirth it once held. It eyes his hand curiously before deciding on ignoring it completely. “We Wraith have no need of such silly titles.”
“Ah, so you’re a Wraith! Good, good. It’s good to have a…have a, well a name, I suppose, to go with the face.” He says, pulling his hand back and rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.
“Yes, though it is not one we have chosen for ourselves but one that the denizens of the planets we feed upon have given us.” It shifts, pulling back ever so slightly from him. “But what about you, Doctor? What is your name?”
“Just the Doctor.”
“But that is merely a title. Doctor. Used by one such as these to imply status. And you, you are not a human like the rest of these fools; similar and yet, at the same time, something else entirely.” The Wraith finishes, leaning back against the wall, the embodiment of relaxation.
But, as a Time Lord, the Doctor isn't so easily fooled. Despite its act of nonchalance, he can sense the internal changes that mark this Wraith as one who is afraid. The increased heart-rate, the salty smell of sweat, the increase in hormones that indicate the activation of it's base fight or flight instinct.
Her nerves are strung tighter then a properly tied Boy Scout knot and it isn’t helping the way he’s gotten himself right up close and personal with this life-sucking alien. But then again he’s always been so sure of himself, so certain that he’ll come out of a situation alive, that he never even considers the remote possibility that he might not. Of course, with the ability to regenerate into a new body instead of succumbing to death, who wouldn’t take a few extra chances?
He’s only got a few regenerations left though and she doesn’t think she can handle watching him change his face again.
“Who and what I am doesn’t matter,” the Doctor replies, softening his voice as he closes the distance between them. “What does matter is how they’ve been treating you here. Have they harmed you in any way?”
It laughs again though it definitely sounds strained to him this time. “As if these apes could do anything to hurt us. They are tiny, puny little things that serve no greater purpose then as food supply to us!”
He flinches at the use of the title he so carelessly gave to Rose all those years ago but forges on, intent on getting through to this being. “Ah, yes and that would be the other reason I’m here. I had been hoping that there might be a way, any way at all, that we could come to some sort of a peaceful end to this whole nasty invasion business.”
He takes another step closer.
She’s so alert to everything going on in the other room that she’s aware of what’s about to happen seconds before it does; not like it does her any good. Protocol dictated that Pete shut the door behind the Doctor, therefore barring the creature if it was to attempt an escape, resetting the security clearance in the process.
With no way to get to him, no way to warn him, all she can do is scream his name.
The Wraith appears to think his proposition over for a bit before nodding its head slightly in agreement. “Yes, I think there might be a way but I don’t know that you’d be agreeable to it.”
Watching in horror, she sees the scene play out before her agonizingly slow, as if someone's put the VCR on freeze frame. One second he's standing there so unsuspecting and the next his eyes have widened in surprise as he realizes things have taken a turn for the worse. Though the creature's arm moves ever so slowly, there's no time for him to turn away, no time for him to run. Then his face is screwed up in an expression of such intense pain that she rips her eyes away from the screen, unable to watch any longer.
Luckily Pete is moving in normal time, going through the long and lengthy process required to open the doors once more. She knows he's going as fast as he can but she's screaming at him to hurry and then he's done and Jack is ripping the door open and rushing in, gun drawn.
~~~
He's through the door the instant Pete's got it unlocked. Behind him he can hear others following but he's unsure who and he frankly doesn't care. All he can think about is the fact that, that...that thing is slowly draining the life right out of his friend and he has to stop it
Being a man more of action than talk Jack finds himself a good vantage point where he’s fairly certain he can get a clear shot at the creature and not harm the Doctor in the process. Aiming his gun, he doesn’t think twice about what the consequences of this sort of an action might be. He knows this isn’t the route the Time Lord would prefer, understands the man’s aversion to guns and violence but he’s not taking any chances here.
Without hesitation he fires, hitting the creature in the center of its forehead. For a brief moment it stands there stunned before crumpling to the floor, releasing its grip on the Doctor. Before he can hit the floor too, Pete’s there, arms going under the his shoulders. Mickey grabs the other half of the lifeless man and they quickly drag him out of the room.
~~~
She doesn’t even think about it, just rushes to his side the instant they lay him on the floor. Shoving Mickey and Pete out of her way she quickly kneels next to him and places her ear to first one side of his chest and then the other. Once she finds that both hearts appear to be beating normally she moves on, checking his breathing, reflexes, and pupils. Though she doesn’t know a lot about Time Lord physiology she uses all of her Torchwood medical training to assess him as best she can.
When she’s done and relatively sure he’s fine, she leans back resting on the heels of her feet, relief washing over her. He doesn’t stir but his breathing is even and he looks so peaceful it’s almost as though he’s merely sleeping. And for the briefest of moments it’s as though nothing has changed. No Canary Wharf, no Bad Wolf Bay, no rash decisions that destroyed her life and the lives of others…for the tiniest fraction of a second it’s just her and him again. The Doctor and his plus one.
Absent-absentmindedly brushing a stray lock out of his face, she isn’t aware of the first signs of him rousing. She jumps when he twitches, shattering the dream that she‘s found herself in. Before her brain has the time to process what’s happening, before she can even think to move away his eyes are opening and they’re staring straight into hers. She can feel it as her heart skips a beat and she almost loses it right then and there and leans in to kiss him. But then the cloudiness clears and there’s so much anger brewing in his dark orbs that everything comes rushing back to her and she stands quickly, almost tripping over her own two feet in an attempt to put some distance between them.
He turns his head away from her then and she’s grateful. What she doesn’t realize is that she’s missed the hope that started to soften his features and the pain that quickly followed on its heels. He makes an obvious effort not to look in her direction again as he pulls himself into a standing position, swatting away Martha’s attempts to help him.
“Have you gone off the deep end?” the recently licensed doctor asks, the shrill pitch of her voice bringing a slight smile to Roses’ face. At least she knows, has seen with her own eyes, that he’s definitely found someone who isn't afraid to stand up to him.
“I’m fine,” he replies, the annoyance in his tone unmistakable. “Learned a great deal about them in the process and I think we can end this war amicably.”
Rose raises her eyes to him with a start; he didn’t just…did he? No, she must’ve misheard him, must’ve misunderstood what he said. Because there is no way, after what just happened to him, that he’s still willing to be the peaceful diplomat with this alien and the rest of his despicable race. But then he’s huddled in a circle with Pete and Jack and Mickey. And they’re actually discussing it; his grand plan that’ll save the lives of everyone on Earth and the lives of those called the Wraith.
“He must be nutters,” she mumbles under her breath. It wasn’t meant for his ears, or anyone else’s either, but then again she didn’t exactly whisper it did she?
He turns towards her slowly, his expression blank. “Excuse me?”
“I said, you must be nutters! If not then that…that thing did something to you other then DRAIN YOUR LIFE,” she’s yelling now and she knows she really ought not to. This isn't trying to make amends, this isn't trying to find her place by his side again.
“Would you prefer to just kill them all?”
She doesn’t like the implication in his tone. “They can’t be reasoned with!” What does he think she is, some kind of mass murderer? But, then again, is he really that far from the mark? Was it just a lucky guess or did he see something more when he touched her then she thought he had?
She doesn't want to fight with him, doesn't want to keep on hurting him and herself like she has been. But the intense fear of his rejection - his disdain over who she's become - is rearing it's ugly head again and any control she may have had - over herself and the situation - is slowly slipping away.
“Didn’t you listen to anything Pete said? Weren’t you paying any attention at all earlier on? Or where you too lost in your own thoughts to bother with us stupid apes?” She finds she actually wants to see him flinch when she says this, wants him to see that even he is capable of making horrible mistakes like the ones she has. But he doesn’t and she gets that little bit angrier at him for it.
“I was listening but maybe I shouldn’t have been,” he takes a step towards her as she, at the same time, takes a step back. “Maybe I should have learned my lesson a long time ago and stopped. Listening. To. You. Stupid. Apes.” Another step from each of them and it’s as though they’re executing a well-rehearsed dance. “All you seem to want to do is kill, kill, kill. Anything that doesn’t look like you, anything you don’t understand becomes fair game for you and your weapons.”
She can feel the chair she was just sitting in pressed up against her bum and realizes that she can’t back up any farther. Just a few more steps and he’ll be nose-to-nose with her and she can’t have that. The thought of being that close to him again is making her legs shake with both fear and desire. If she's not careful she'll end up letting him get too close and then everything, all the dark secrets she's carried in her heart for so long, will be laid bare for his taking. Lucky for her, she knows how to make him stop dead in his tracks, knows just what to say to have him running in the other direction…away from her.
“If we’re that bad, that much of a threat to the universe,” she snarls as viciously as she can, “Then why don’t you jus’ destroy us like you destroyed your own people!”
Chapter Seven...